Lazarus Rises

by Berklie Novak-Stolz

A collection of words about love, grief, searching, sacrifice, absolution, and what lies in between.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction, Grief, Adult

100 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 7, 2023

Reviews

[Camila T 🍉 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an unwanted gift to talk about grief. The love in grief. The loss of grief. The Before. The After. The Next. The dreams. The tentative happiness. Such a talent to recognize love in words of grief.

[Zara Rabinovitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this is a book about grief, the overwhelming feeling coming from every page is love. Love lost, love looking for a new place to go, love found along the way as Berklie grows and heals and pulls herself through unimaginable loss. Berklie truly spilled her heart out onto these pages, and the result is a very raw and passionate depiction of grief that left me speechless. Whether you are someone working through grief yourself or someone who has never gone through something like this, you will find meaning in the journey on these pages of finding ways to heal and love no matter how hard that may be. I cannot recommend this book enough - beautiful work.

[Maddy Corbin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not really a poetry guy. I'm not even a writing ratings/reviews guy. I got this book bc i wanted to support Berk's writing adventure and I was not anticipating resonating with their work this much. I clutched my chest multiple times said aloud "BERKLIE WHAT THE FUCK" Hahahaha. There are some profound works in here that really capture the early all encompassing feeling of loss that comes from the death of a loved one, especially by suicide. I've marked my favorites and expect to revisit them often.

[Erin Clements · Rating 4 out of 5]

"and when we one day converge again, you will say, 'The scar I left you, what does it feel like?' and my answer will ring out across the years that once separated us 'Like love.' I will say, 'It feels an awful lot like love.'"

this poetry collection is a gorgeous exploration of grief through the lens of Christianity and fandom, and as a member of the supernatural fandom who LOVES berklie, this collection was beautiful.

[Haley Prim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely devastating. Does a beautiful job of putting words to grief and the fear, hope, and love that come with it. 💛

My favorites that were extremely hard to pick:
- VIII / “yet no one had to ask me to give your eulogy”
- XXIII / “Hope is a feathered thing”
- XLVI / “I know you’re out there, too”
- XLIX / “I hunger for new words”
- LIV / “One thing we as humans have done exceptionally well is try”

[Gillian Brownlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and beautiful.

[Claudia Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful- absolutely heartbreaking, but beautiful. I’m speechless, just speechless.

[Morgan E Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Misery loves company,
not because Misery is greedy
Rather, Misery is lonely." XLVIII
Novak-Stolz has done the unthinkable, stringing together the most devestating and comforting words to ease and celebrate the ache of loss. Grief doesn't seem like such a miserable thing. It's an act of utter devotion in Novak-Stolz's eyes and her poems have retrained my eyes as well. My Misery is not as lonely because she has put words to it. I see myself reading and rereading this collection for years to come as I too attempt to sort out the confusing and isolating feelings of loss. She wrote this collection and yet I find myself being heard.

[Kate Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

“One thing we as humans have done exceptionally well is try”

A hesitatingly decent read. I wish it was better organized and that some pieces were condensed or combined (or omitted) — it feels very repetitive.
Some phrases or whole poems were also very trite and eye-rolling/annoying.
Very sad because there are some diamonds (deeply) buried within.
This is a re-read and I didn’t find anything new either which is disappointing — especially for poetry.

[Florencia · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Because we need to be reminded
We are not the only ones."

I was a mess at times while reading this one. Grief is such an interesting thing to allow yourself to experience years after they're gone.

[Josie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seldom does the chance to see the catalyst for a work exist. Seldom do we get to see the before and after of such heart shattering grief and slow healing happen to a person we don’t really know. To those who have watched through a screen with me the pain and grief and ugly truth that Berklie has shared we have seen something rare and raw come to life through grief laden words. Everyone should read this, those who have seen Berklie’s tears, those who have never experienced grief of their own. Her work is so deeply personal, yet so familiar to me. From the initial stab of loss, to the guilt of healing, the loss of her brother has really touched on what it means to be without someone who was a part of you, to feel that hole inside yourself that is filled with sorrow and nothingness all at the same time. It is hurt, and anger, and the stillness and turmoil of loving someone who has been separated from us. It reads like an extended poem, going through the months in the aftermath of her loss. It is the waking every day to push a boulder up a hill only to sleep and have it roll back down.

[fern fern fernstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lazarus Rises (amongst other things) follows the journey of Berklie's grief as it suffocates and transforms into guilt, anger, hope, and the feeling of being connected to the same fate every human will eventually meet.

I read and notated the book in 2 hours despite not being much of a reader, it gripped me because I recognized my own thoughts while grieving my sister over a decade ago reflected back at me. While reading Lazarus Rises made that old pain sting, it is welcome, not only do I feel seen but I feel closer to my sister again as well.

I highly recommend this book to anyone willing to sit with their own grief or explore what future grief might feel like. Berklie presents an honest depiction of the pain without shying away from the beauty of what grows out of grief.

[Ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 stars

I will light fires in your wake. Where I cannot find good, I must make it. Where there is no warmth, I must create it.

I am not usually a poetry reader but when I found out that a creator I follow on TikTok wrote a poetry book, I decided to give it a shot! As a fellow Alabamian, I wanted to support her. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I did!

This collection of poems is tragically beautiful and displays such a nuance stance on the experience of grief/grieving. Novak-Stolz (because it feels wrong to call an author by their first name if we aren't friends) is extremely vulnerable in this work about the pain she has been experiencing since the loss of her brother. This level of vulnerability was super refreshing, honestly. It's not something I have seen for a bit. I look forwarding to seeing if she releases more of her work in the future.

[Julia Catanese]

It’s hard to put into words a review for this poetry collection, which is why I’ve chosen not to rate it. This is a raw gut wrenching account of grief amidst the loss of a sibling and too deeply personal to grant it stars.

My heart absolutely shatters for Berklie, but I hope she knows how beautiful this book is, and what a loving tribute it is to her brother.

It is incredibly well written, but I would only recommend it to someone going through a similar pain for comfort in community, as I found the subject matter very heavy and had to pace myself on reading it.

[Mel Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a book of very accessible poems on grief and love. while repetitive at times (as grief is so i don’t know if that’s a fault or a feature of the collection), these poems are succinct and moving. i share her love of emily dickinson’s ideas of hope, and i especially loved the poems about word origins.

warning - this collection will make you sad for a long time and leave you with some small hopes right at the end

[Bo Massari · Rating 5 out of 5]

i have followed berklie on tiktok for years. i preordered this book when they announced (yes it took me two years to get to) and i wish i would’ve read it earlier. the prose in here is devastatingly beautiful. i have so many lines highlighted and poems tabbed. it’s a such honest and heartfelt collection about grief and loss and love. i had pace myself through it as some of lines in here are just heartbreaking and raw and relatable and real. i loved this so much. her way with words is something i can only hope to also be able to do. this was so beautiful.

[Jordyn Trull · Rating 5 out of 5]

“So I will burn the candle at all ends.
I will create and destroy and start again.
I will do so loudly and with restless limbs.

It is all I have ever known.”

I love a good book of poetry but this one…this one hit me where I didn’t even realize it could hurt. It’s beautiful and emotional.

Grief is an emotion that I have always struggled with and I feel that this book so perfectly encapsulates feelings that I have never been able to describe.

I cried twice while reading this book. It is truly a work of art and I cannot recommend it enough.

“Where I cannot find good, I must make it.
Where there is no warmth, I must create it”

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely stunning poetry book. To quote my friend when I showed it to him “you can practically taste her grief as you read this”. I almost cried while reading this several times.

Berklie Novak-stolz you will be famous.

[Louie · Rating 5 out of 5]

dude, idk how to even start this review, i'm so blown away by this collection. i'm crying, i'm smiling, i'm mourning, but i'm so filled with hope, i too feel like i can pull myself free of the grave. really can't wait to see what else the incredible Berklie Novak-Stolz will do.

[Madi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful look into grief, and how it can consume your mind.

[Christel H · Rating 4 out of 5]

“ i long for the days
in which all that stood between us was
yesterday. “

Een boek over verdriet, rouw en hoop.

[Lauren Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful collection of poems that encompasses human grief so well that I cry when I read it. Berklie has more than earned her place as one of my favorite poets

[Helena Gill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read as a collection. There are some poems that aren't incredible as a stand alone but the effect and the emotion really resonates. Has a ton of christian/catholic phrases mostly borrowed in bits and pieces. And of course Lazarus comes from the Bible . Worship, grief, love, and loss are huge themes.

[Erin? · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to put my favorite blanket in the dryer and then sit down and rewatch the premiere of Season 4 of Supernatural.

My favorite show as a child was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I don't remember a time before watching it. One of my favorite episodes, one of the episodes I would rewatch constantly was the two-part season 6 premiere, where (spoilers) Buffy's friends months after her death raise her from the dead. And demons have overrun the town and her friends think the resurrection was unsuccessful, and they leave her in her grave to dig herself out. And when she reaches air she believes she is in hell.

I spent many years distancing myself from my own emotions and now I experience the world through a plane of glass. I spent many years in basements waiting to go up the stairs. I wish I could cry, so I could honor "lazarus rises (amongst other things)" with tears.

"The feathered thing that is singing/ a tune which I once knew/ and while now the notes rest on the tip of my tongue/ I have faith I will one day know them again" (90) I read Emily Dickinson's poem "'Hope' is the thing with feathers" for the first time in a college class called "Destroy the book" and I went home and pinned it to my wall. Living can be extraordinarily difficult. And words can be extraordinarily comforting and cathartic.

"lazarus rises (amongst other things)" is exactly what it needed to be. I love Supernatural, I love poetry, and mythology, and Emily Dickinson, and I love rising from the dead.

Thank you.

[Cameron Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Background: I started watching Supernatural for the first time in October of 2021 with my college roommates, and followed Berklie on TikTok sometime after. I've actually never read any of her fanfics, but I enjoy and appreciate her content on TikTok and wanted to purchase this book to support her. I'm very glad I did.

Review: It's impossible to read her words and not feel the intense, raw emotion behind each of them. These poems are as beautiful as they are painful. I knew this book would be about grief and loss and remaking yourself in the After, but even with my knowledge of Berklie's story from her social media content it was still difficult (in a good way) for me to get through this book. Her poems inspire deep thought and contemplation, I only read a few at a time, and often would read them multiple times over. By the end I felt almost raw and exposed- it forced me to think about things that scare me, but also reminded me hope can exist even in the most awful pain.
When I watched Supernatural I saw a lot of myself in Dean- I think I relate to him in a bit of a different way than Berklie does, but I felt more connected to her story and her poems through this mutual point of reference. That being said, knowledge of Supernatural is very much not required to appreciate this book. Anyone reading this would undoubtedly be moved.

Berklie, if by some chance you ever read this, thank you for sharing your words with us. Thank you for sharing your grief, and love, and hope.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I have always loved red clay,
but resent it in this moment.
It is the last thing that you will ever touch.
What a profound honor for dirt.”

What a collection. What a debut! Honestly, I’m blown away by the quality of this collection and how visceral my reaction to some of these poems was. I did not expect to react in that way but oh my god.

The collection focuses on Novak-Stolz’ reaction to and healing from the news of her brothers death. How his death affects her and the journey that she embarks on through her grief pours off the pages and grabs you by the throat. The repetition of Lazarus and the remembrance of his story shows her anger; if he can come back from the dead then why can’t you?

But it’s also an honest look at how enormous grief can seem, and how it can then shift to something that you feel is manageable, but still has the capacity to take you out at the knees. Like I said, I didn’t expect to have such a reaction to this collection but I genuinely did.

Wow. Heavy trigger warnings but I implore you to give it a go. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

“And burning the candle at all ends for the warmth of others, doesn’t do much to hold your darkness at bay”

[Sosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lazarus Rises: Amongst other things by Berklie Novak-Stolz is the best poetry collection I have ever read; the book is about love, grief, searching, sacrifice, absolution, and what lies in between. The author of the book wrote this book after the death of her brother to process everything she wrote about it and that poetry became this book. She is a huge fan of the show Supernatural; in the episode with the same name as the book one of the main characters Dean in the opening scene has to dig himself out of his own grave and that is a big theme in the book. The idea when someone that you love dies that it feels like you are in the grave with them and you have to dig yourself out. She holds on to the fact that if Dean could do it then she could too. The story of Lazarus is also a recurring theme in the book. She talks a lot about Jesus and his love for Lazarus and that part of her is still waiting for her brother to come back like in the story. It's a healing read. Yes, it's sad but it’s more than that. Her words describe the pain of losing someone so well that it's healing; this would be a good book for anyone.

[Eden Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gutwrenching, beautiful, and awe inspiring

I lost my friend over 3 months ago, at one point she was my best friend, my sister, her mother like a second mom to me, and then we grew apart. In the months before her death we'd reconnected, but her death still left me feeling guilty for the years in which we hadn't spoken. I'm also a poet, and while I've tried endlessly to capture that emptiness and regret, I think the Berklie summed it up beautifully. I have been counting days since I lost her, but this helped me remember the one thing I've been telling myself since; she'd want me to be happy, to live my life, to thrive, and if that means I have to push through for her, then for a while I will. I use her love to keep me going on the days I do not want to until I can do it myself.
All of this to say, I discovered this author for her "education content" on fandoms I was in, and I watched her videos after he had died, and I did not know how to feel on any of it, but grief, love, and pain connect people in odd ways. In this book I've felt less alone in all of this pain.

[Tea · Rating 5 out of 5]

"what a profound honor for dirt"

I follow the author on tiktok, I had followed her for her fandom content but I remember when she started posting her poetry. it was the one which I quote a part of that struck me. I don't know why. out of her many poems, all of which encompass the human attempt at portraying grief, it was one of the shortest. and like dirt, it felt so simple. perhaps that is it, this deepness in what is simple, how something like dirt, can be an object of nostalgic affection and grieving contempt.

the collection is a memoir to the self, to the repetitive battle of love and loss, or perhaps I am pretentious in my assumption. either way, I feel bad trying to comment and analyze the feelings of someone attempting to convey themself, so I'll leave it at this: the poems are talentedly written and I cried the entire time.

I don't believe this is about loss, but rather absence and presence. there is so much love bleeding from every word.

[Max Wyse · Rating 5 out of 5]

To write a review on a book as personal as grief seems almost insulting. How personal a thing as grief is and to say that one's art about a death as personal as their brother was bad would be insulting. Berklie has such a way with words that even her references to biblical figures such as Jesus and Mary and of course, Lazarus, didn't feel cheesy. Their way of describing how they were attached to Lazarus' tomb felt so real and how they use Lazarus' tomb as a metaphor for their own brother's grave was so beautifully worded. As soon as you feel over one wave of Berklie's grief hits you. I loved every minute of this book and I am so happy to have this one as the first book on my to be read list and I can't wait to look at the illustrations that accompany some of the poems in the Random Acts edition of this book.