All I Am

by Sam Bettens

After the release of their hit song 'Not an addict' in 1996, the Belgian band K' Choice started a wild ride along some of the world's biggest festivals. Being an unconventional band right from the start, they forged their own path in the music industry with Sam Bettens as their rebellious leader.




But how much space for your true identity is there when you're standing in front of thousands of people? Sam Bettens has spent his entire life searching for who he is and how he was shaped that way. Is he a rock star? Yes. But a trans man, a father, a stepfather, a (by now) American and - oh yes - a firefighter. Nowadays Sam performs with the bands Rex Rebel and K's Choice and lives in California with his wife and children.






Sam Bettens invites the reader into his life of many guises, of continuous shapeshifting and reinvention.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction

107 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 3, 2023

Reviews

[Aisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sam opens this book with an intro, the last line of which reads: "I hope this book makes you feel less alone as well." And it absolutely did, his open storytelling about his life's "unconventional milestones" while staying absolutely down-to-earth and genuine had me smiling throughout, straight up laugh at some parts.

I am entirely biased, because Sam has already been making me feel less alone for 25ish years since my early teens, as I consider him my role model in my amateur singing for as long. Then a few years ago, when I was in the midst of discovering my very own queerness, Sam came out as a trans man. Hearing this announcement filled my heart with an immense amount of queer joy - it felt like coming full circle on him being that role model.

So I tore through the 160 pages of this book in just a couple hours, and came out with a full heart once more. I love how Sam comes across as just another dude, who deals with very relatable issues that happen to be interspersed by far more remarkable things. How he gives back to the community that helped him recognize himself, by sharing the multitudes of his own story for others to recognize. It's very much worth the read.

[Stefan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always looked up to Sam Bettens. K's choice is one of the bands I've lover ever since first hearing their music. So to be able to peek inside of the head and life of Sam is a chance I'm not going to let pass.

And what a wonderful opportunity. Sam shares experiences that give insight and inspiration. Sam shares things I did not know yet (he was a firefighter! Wow!) and things I had expected. I feel seen by some things Sam writes, and take away lessons from his experiences that I know I can use in my own life.

I love reading about people to try and understand them or to connect with them. In this case, I feel a connection. Thank you, Sam!

[Michella (BoekenMiesje) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 ⭐️

[100procentSam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked it. It was a bit more superficial than I had expected it to be, but that also makes it a really easy and nice read even for people who normally don’t read (this kind of) books. I already had a lot of love for Sam (the fact that we both chose the name does play a role in it) and only have more now.

[Saar Steverlinck · Rating 3 out of 5]

2,5* - voor mij wat te oppervlakkig

[Taylor Van Ierland-Mietus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Een klein kijkje in het veelbewogen leven van Sam en zijn gezin. Met veel humor verteld in zijn eigen complexe beleving.

En voor mij op veel opzichten herkenbare gevoelens en ervaringen als een op leeftijd (46) zijnde persoon in transitie. (non-binair)

Het is fijn om te lezen dat ik niet de enige ben die zo 'complex' in elkaar zit en daar veel mee worstel en heb geworsteld.

[Hanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an easy read! For those expecting shocking revelations: there are none. There is no dirt. Also, why should there be? This is not written to shock and sell. This is simply a very personal story about life, about arriving at crossroads, over and over, and figuring out who you are and who you want to be. For Sam, finding his way meant not always following the path of societal expectations because that path somehow didn’t feel right.

For me, this is what being a role model is about. Just being this very down to earth person. You follow your path, you do what feels right for you and by being true to yourself, you inspire other people. Thank you Sam, for being an amazing role model, a great singer and - from what I read - an amazing parent.

[Sabrina Van Loo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspiring. Had the opportunity to meet Sara briefly in Tennessee and have a longer conversation with Sam in Belgium. Glad to have my book signed by the band. This helps to become a better ally for my family, friends and co-workers who need support.

[Agnès · Rating 3 out of 5]

Il survole tous les sujets, nous "épargne" tous les détails, du coup c'est pas vraiment passionnant... Rien sur vraiment la carrière à part les débuts. Rien sur les adoptions ("ça a éré dur ; ça a duré 9 mois"), rien sur sa rencontre avec sa femme... Pourquoi écrire un livre alors ?

[Ali Hamid · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fan of the band and the person, it was great to get to know him a little bit better.

It's beautifully written, very personal and touching.

[Matthew Budman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been a K's Choice fan since first hearing the band in 1994, we've been fortunate to see them in New York several times over the last quarter century, and of course I've followed Sam Bettens' transition story. So was excited to read his not-really-a-memoir. All I Am is chatty, brisk, extremely readable, and remarkably candid on many subjects; I absolutely feel as though I now know Sam's genuine, personal feelings on what's important to him, where he finds delight and distress, why he has made the dramatic life moves he has. His family will no doubt find the book both gratifying and cringeworthy. What's here is a rewarding read.

But c'mon, man—how about something for the fans? Bettens cheerfully informs us at the beginning that his memory is terrible and that he'll be telling us almost nothing about his life as the frontman of a band that's the reason any reader will pick up All I Am. He name-checks a single K's Choice track ("Not an Addict," of course), makes no mention of his solo career, and expresses pride in his songwriting prowess without a word about how he writes songs. He discusses his surgeries but not how hormones might affect his voice, or whether he'll continue to sing songs such as "Woman," "I Wanna Meet the Man," and "Something's Wrong." And none of the omissions are because he's saving anecdotes for a future project—in fact, the book left me with the impression that Bettens suggests anyone who's interested in musical questions to track down old magazine interviews with him and his brother Gert.

There's enough missing here to challenge the title—is this really all he is? Seems like maybe half.