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The Best Hardcore Band in PA
CYRUS AND JEFF ARE BEST FRIENDS. They start a band in Jeff's garage where Cyrus plays drums and Jeff screams and plays guitar as a way to escape their boring lives in a part of central PA so removed from hardcore it has more churches per square mile than anywhere else in the country. At least that's what Cyrus was told.
The band is a place where Cy can be himself, not the quiet boy whose mother died in a car wreck three years ago. Not the cute boy no one in school knows is gay--not even his friend Mindy, who wants to date him. Just Cyrus and Jeff, the best friend he dreams about even though he knows he shouldn't. Even after a kiss in Cy's bedroom leaves him hoping for more.
For Jeff, the band is a way to channel his rage into music—rage at the father who abandoned him, the mother who has chosen his stepfather over him, and the stepfather who has chosen the righteousness of the backhand and the closed fist when trying to cleanse Jeff of his sins.
But the band can't last forever. And what happens when that refuge is threatened changes everything.
The band is a place where Cy can be himself, not the quiet boy whose mother died in a car wreck three years ago. Not the cute boy no one in school knows is gay--not even his friend Mindy, who wants to date him. Just Cyrus and Jeff, the best friend he dreams about even though he knows he shouldn't. Even after a kiss in Cy's bedroom leaves him hoping for more.
For Jeff, the band is a way to channel his rage into music—rage at the father who abandoned him, the mother who has chosen his stepfather over him, and the stepfather who has chosen the righteousness of the backhand and the closed fist when trying to cleanse Jeff of his sins.
But the band can't last forever. And what happens when that refuge is threatened changes everything.
340 pages, Paperback
Published October 24, 2023
1 person is currently reading
51 people want to read
About the author
Bill Elenbark
4 books16 followersBill Elenbark wrote his first novel longhand in the empty pages of engineering class notebooks at Rutgers University. He went on to get an engineering degree but continued to write in his spare time and eventually fell in love with writing YA stories, particularly those with an indie rock theme or undercurrent. He has lived for the past seven years in Hoboken, NJ, with his partner Mike and their dog Elie.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 20, 2023
The Best Hardcore Band in PA is a coming-of-age YA story with hints of Deposing Nathan.
Cyrus is gay and has feelings for his best friend Jeff, who lives with his mom and his ‘devoted to church’ stepf*ck (as Cyrus calls him). The boys’ lives are far from easy. They live in a conservative town in central Pennsylvania, Cyrus’ mom is dead and his dad works a lot. Jeff’s dad is an alcoholic who moved to Florida, and his stepdad Roland is an a*hole.
I wanted to hug those boys so many times. For being alone. For not being accepted. For being abused. And sometimes, I wanted to shake them up badly. For using so much weed at fifteen. For messing up so many things. But they were just teens figuring out life, and then I wanted to hug and protect them again.
While reading the first half of the book, I doubted the writing. But when I started reading the second half, I understood what Bill Elenbark was trying to do because I remembered he had done the same thing in his debut, I Will Be Okay.
In the story's first half, Cyrus and Jeff are fifteen/sixteen-year-olds figuring out their feelings. Hot-headed and confused, they do messy, thoughtless things while hormones rush through their teenage bodies. All these things are palpable in the writing. Long, descriptive, and poetic sentences that made me feel all the feels. But simultaneously, those long sentences (over 50 words) made me gasp for breath, and I hardly had time to figure out all those words and sentence parts between commas and more commas. On the contrary, the dialogues were blunt and scarce. Sometimes there was hardly any dialogue at all. The world of fifteen-year-olds. Yep. Caught in their heads, not communicating at all.
In the second half, Cyrus and Jeff are (almost) eighteen-year-olds, spreading out their wings, ready to go to college. Suddenly there’s more dialogue and the conversations are far more about feelings. There’s still messiness because, hey, eighteen-year-olds still haven’t figured out life (but who has?), and pain from the past resurfaces.
The moment I understood what Bill was trying to do, I liked the story way, way more, and I know that in a year or so, I’ll still be thinking about those two boys. I’m still not sure if everyone will understand this kind of writing, but it definitely fits the story.
This book is dark and complex. Don’t expect it to be a romance. It isn’t. The reference to Deposing Nathan is for a reason. The ending made me a sobbing mess. But there were also highlights. Cody was just a ray of sunshine. Sweet and cute Californian Cody. His conversations with Cyrus through Facetime were so precious.
Be aware there are some HP references.
I received an ARC from Walrus Publishing and Edelweiss in exchange for n honest review.
Follow me on Instagram
Cyrus is gay and has feelings for his best friend Jeff, who lives with his mom and his ‘devoted to church’ stepf*ck (as Cyrus calls him). The boys’ lives are far from easy. They live in a conservative town in central Pennsylvania, Cyrus’ mom is dead and his dad works a lot. Jeff’s dad is an alcoholic who moved to Florida, and his stepdad Roland is an a*hole.
I wanted to hug those boys so many times. For being alone. For not being accepted. For being abused. And sometimes, I wanted to shake them up badly. For using so much weed at fifteen. For messing up so many things. But they were just teens figuring out life, and then I wanted to hug and protect them again.
While reading the first half of the book, I doubted the writing. But when I started reading the second half, I understood what Bill Elenbark was trying to do because I remembered he had done the same thing in his debut, I Will Be Okay.
In the story's first half, Cyrus and Jeff are fifteen/sixteen-year-olds figuring out their feelings. Hot-headed and confused, they do messy, thoughtless things while hormones rush through their teenage bodies. All these things are palpable in the writing. Long, descriptive, and poetic sentences that made me feel all the feels. But simultaneously, those long sentences (over 50 words) made me gasp for breath, and I hardly had time to figure out all those words and sentence parts between commas and more commas. On the contrary, the dialogues were blunt and scarce. Sometimes there was hardly any dialogue at all. The world of fifteen-year-olds. Yep. Caught in their heads, not communicating at all.
In the second half, Cyrus and Jeff are (almost) eighteen-year-olds, spreading out their wings, ready to go to college. Suddenly there’s more dialogue and the conversations are far more about feelings. There’s still messiness because, hey, eighteen-year-olds still haven’t figured out life (but who has?), and pain from the past resurfaces.
The moment I understood what Bill was trying to do, I liked the story way, way more, and I know that in a year or so, I’ll still be thinking about those two boys. I’m still not sure if everyone will understand this kind of writing, but it definitely fits the story.
This book is dark and complex. Don’t expect it to be a romance. It isn’t. The reference to Deposing Nathan is for a reason. The ending made me a sobbing mess. But there were also highlights. Cody was just a ray of sunshine. Sweet and cute Californian Cody. His conversations with Cyrus through Facetime were so precious.
Be aware there are some HP references.
I received an ARC from Walrus Publishing and Edelweiss in exchange for n honest review.
Follow me on Instagram
March 1, 2024
This is one of the books I selected to read for a Staff Winter Youth Reading Challenge at the library I work. Being gay, interested in alternative/indie music, a former cross-country runner and raised in a rural, conservative and religious environment, there was a lot about this book that was relevant and relatable. The plot and character dialogue/interactions are authentic, believable and engaging. The story's main topic is identifiable for many gay youth.. falling in love or having a crush on someone who is straight or unable to acknowledge their same sex feelings and be out. This is handled with sensitivity, realness and a "slow burn" approach that helps the reader remain engaged and wondering throughout the book. Other topics deal with starting and playing in a hardcore band, connecting with friends via hardcore/punk music and concerts, coming out to friends, the joys and struggles in relationships with friends and parents, abusive religion, grieving the death of a parent, making and adjusting to life transitions, navigating feelings of attraction and love, connecting with and experiencing a visible queer community. I enjoyed the subtle and tasteful eroticism displayed between the main gay characters, and by the end of the book, I felt attached to and invested with Cyrus and Jeff, their emotions, situations and relationship. This is one of the best YA fictions I have read and I look forward to reading more by this author, especially a sequel for Cyrus, Jeff and Cody!
June 10, 2023
I had a feeling I was going to like this as I loved “I Will Be Okay”… but you never know, right? Well, I loved it. This book was a joy to read because it is a real story with real characters with very real issues.
Cyrus is out to his family and some friends, including his best friend and bandmate, Jeff. They spend a lot of time together and for Cyrus that has meant he’s developed deeper feelings for Jeff. But Cyrus has never dated anyone. He’s never even kissed anyone and the way he sees it, approaching Jeff about his feeling would drive a wedge between them.
Then one night, Jeff kisses Cyrus. Naturally, things change. Change comes for many reasons in this novel. Jeff has a pretty horrendous home life and there are some really difficult topics covered by the author. I really liked the way that the author chose to reveal what was happening to Jeff slowly... it was a really organic plot. I felt as though I was moving through time with Cyrus, trying to figure out what was happening and what he should do to help his friend. When people are young they can certainly have the passion and commitment to help their friends but often they may not have the resources or the knowledge they need to do it. Cyrus is all heart and he's so lost as he tries to figure out the best path for himself and for his friend.
Mindy is a terrific supporting character. Her support for her friend never wavers even though she's dealing with her own issues as a young woman of colour. She's forthright and outspoken and just the kind of person I would want for a friend.
This book is very moving, I found myself tearing up a few times. The decision felt real to me and that made them a little painful. Not everything we do is rational, easy to figure out, or clear to us... and this book really hit home.
Cyrus is out to his family and some friends, including his best friend and bandmate, Jeff. They spend a lot of time together and for Cyrus that has meant he’s developed deeper feelings for Jeff. But Cyrus has never dated anyone. He’s never even kissed anyone and the way he sees it, approaching Jeff about his feeling would drive a wedge between them.
Then one night, Jeff kisses Cyrus. Naturally, things change. Change comes for many reasons in this novel. Jeff has a pretty horrendous home life and there are some really difficult topics covered by the author. I really liked the way that the author chose to reveal what was happening to Jeff slowly... it was a really organic plot. I felt as though I was moving through time with Cyrus, trying to figure out what was happening and what he should do to help his friend. When people are young they can certainly have the passion and commitment to help their friends but often they may not have the resources or the knowledge they need to do it. Cyrus is all heart and he's so lost as he tries to figure out the best path for himself and for his friend.
Mindy is a terrific supporting character. Her support for her friend never wavers even though she's dealing with her own issues as a young woman of colour. She's forthright and outspoken and just the kind of person I would want for a friend.
This book is very moving, I found myself tearing up a few times. The decision felt real to me and that made them a little painful. Not everything we do is rational, easy to figure out, or clear to us... and this book really hit home.
April 21, 2024
This book took my breath away. I was honestly shocked to see how little people have read this book. And they are missing out.
I fell in love with Elenbark’s writing style. When it comes to writing, I have nothing to critique.
This book has everything you need. Complicated romance, powerful friendships, and the harsh reality of being an LGBTQ teen.
I was kind of disappointed that they didn’t end up together in the end, after everything they have gone through, but it gives a sort of bittersweet ending.
What didn’t work though, was the character development for any other characters but Cyrus and Jeff. They are the main characters, so it’s not much of a surprise, but the other characters were just incredibly 2 dimensional.
For instance, Mindy, Sharane, Cody, and Courtney. They have hardly and personality and make barely enough screen time to assess their character.
Anyways, I loved this book and I think that it deserves more love. I am very excited to see what’s next for Bill Elenbark.
I fell in love with Elenbark’s writing style. When it comes to writing, I have nothing to critique.
This book has everything you need. Complicated romance, powerful friendships, and the harsh reality of being an LGBTQ teen.
I was kind of disappointed that they didn’t end up together in the end, after everything they have gone through, but it gives a sort of bittersweet ending.
What didn’t work though, was the character development for any other characters but Cyrus and Jeff. They are the main characters, so it’s not much of a surprise, but the other characters were just incredibly 2 dimensional.
For instance, Mindy, Sharane, Cody, and Courtney. They have hardly and personality and make barely enough screen time to assess their character.
Anyways, I loved this book and I think that it deserves more love. I am very excited to see what’s next for Bill Elenbark.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 6, 2023
The best hardcore band in PA is a gay ya coming of age story I enjoyed immensely. The characters developments through the book felt authentic and I appreciated how the depth and sophistication of their communication and development of their thoughts and self-awareness changes through the book as they age. The book was a fairly easy read, the story had a number of the tropes associated with lgtbq+ ya. The voices of the characters and the dialogue was true to their age and the story had a satisfying if inconclusive ending.
July 28, 2023
3.5* for me. Cyrus & Jeff are best friends since childhood. As teens they decided they were going to be a hardcore band, just the 2 of them best friends for life. Cyrus is gay, Jeff is unsure. The teenage angst was a bit much for me. This was a well Written book but for me a little to YA. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
May 12, 2024
I loved this book soo much! Jeff and Cyrus will always be in my heart. I hope Bill writes more about them!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews