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Cremains #2
The Undertaking
“If business didn’t pick up soon, we’d be staring into the abyss of what economists might call ‘totally screwed’.”
But as chance would have it, Max Dempsey and Partners: Funeral Directors are about to be saved from financial ruin by a mysterious stranger with a wad of cash. It was the first time they’d been asked to collect a body from France, but what could possibly go wrong?
For a start, the body in question isn’t at all what they’d been expecting, and all of a sudden Max and his partners find themselves catapulted into a world of espionage, blackmail, kidnapping, double-dealing and Russian assassins.
The name’s Dempsey. Max Dempsey. Shaken, stirred and totally freaked out.
The Undertaking is the second book in the Cremains series of comedy capers.
What the critics said about Cremains (Book One in the series):
"It definitely kept me guessing, but also laughing. Both good results." - Big Al for Big Al's Books & Pals
"If you want something totally different, pick up this book - you won't regret it. A hilarious comedy that keeps you on the edge of your seat... Fabulously funny story with cool, really well-developed characters." - Anne-Marie Reynolds for Readers' Favorite
But as chance would have it, Max Dempsey and Partners: Funeral Directors are about to be saved from financial ruin by a mysterious stranger with a wad of cash. It was the first time they’d been asked to collect a body from France, but what could possibly go wrong?
For a start, the body in question isn’t at all what they’d been expecting, and all of a sudden Max and his partners find themselves catapulted into a world of espionage, blackmail, kidnapping, double-dealing and Russian assassins.
The name’s Dempsey. Max Dempsey. Shaken, stirred and totally freaked out.
The Undertaking is the second book in the Cremains series of comedy capers.
What the critics said about Cremains (Book One in the series):
"It definitely kept me guessing, but also laughing. Both good results." - Big Al for Big Al's Books & Pals
"If you want something totally different, pick up this book - you won't regret it. A hilarious comedy that keeps you on the edge of your seat... Fabulously funny story with cool, really well-developed characters." - Anne-Marie Reynolds for Readers' Favorite
313 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 1, 2023
127 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Rob Johnson
13 books47 followers‘You’ll have to write an author biography of course.’
‘Oh? Why?’
‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’
‘You think so, do you?’
‘Just do it, okay?’
‘So what do I tell them?’
‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’
‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at a big department store or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’
‘No, definitely not.’
‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’
‘You were sacked, weren’t you?’
‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’
‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that you've published eight books so far. And don’t forget to put in something that shows you’re vaguely human.’
‘You mean this kind of thing: “I’m currently in Greece with my wife, Penny, seven cats and two rescue dogs and working on a new novel and a couple of screenplays”.’
‘It’ll have to do, I suppose, and then finish off with your website and social media stuff.’
‘Oh, okay then.’
* My website
* My Facebook author page
* Twitter @RobJohnson999
‘Oh? Why?’
‘Because people will want to know something about you before they lash out on buying one of your books.’
‘You think so, do you?’
‘Just do it, okay?’
‘So what do I tell them?’
‘For a start, you should mention that you’ve written four plays that were professionally produced and toured throughout the UK.’
‘Should I say anything about all the temp jobs I had, like working in the towels and linens stockroom at a big department store or as a fitter’s mate in a perfume factory?’
‘No, definitely not.’
‘Motorcycle dispatch rider?’
‘You were sacked, weren’t you?’
‘Boss said he could get a truck there quicker.’
‘Leave it out then, but make sure they know that you've published eight books so far. And don’t forget to put in something that shows you’re vaguely human.’
‘You mean this kind of thing: “I’m currently in Greece with my wife, Penny, seven cats and two rescue dogs and working on a new novel and a couple of screenplays”.’
‘It’ll have to do, I suppose, and then finish off with your website and social media stuff.’
‘Oh, okay then.’
* My website
* My Facebook author page
* Twitter @RobJohnson999
Ratings & Reviews
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 22, 2023
An enjoyable read!
An utterly mad tale that could have come from the pen of a "Monty Python" script writer. It was absolutely hilarious, one of the most amusing stories I've read in a long time. A group of incompetent funeral directors are employed to collect a body from Calais and bring it back to the UK. However, the body in question was not what they had expected. Rogue agents from MI5, Russian defectors, CIA operatives, and various assassins were all conspiring to frustrate our valiant undertakers from completing their task. This hilarious story was a mad caper that had me in stitches. Highly recommended!
An utterly mad tale that could have come from the pen of a "Monty Python" script writer. It was absolutely hilarious, one of the most amusing stories I've read in a long time. A group of incompetent funeral directors are employed to collect a body from Calais and bring it back to the UK. However, the body in question was not what they had expected. Rogue agents from MI5, Russian defectors, CIA operatives, and various assassins were all conspiring to frustrate our valiant undertakers from completing their task. This hilarious story was a mad caper that had me in stitches. Highly recommended!
December 30, 2023
Quite entertaining
This was an enjoyable way and to spend the afternoon. A fast moving story about a simple job that turned out to be much more than expected. What a mad cap bunch.
This was an enjoyable way and to spend the afternoon. A fast moving story about a simple job that turned out to be much more than expected. What a mad cap bunch.
April 7, 2023
Entertaining farce
A combination of Russian agents, Russian double agents, MI5, MI6, and undertakers does not instantly make you think of comedy. But Mr Johnson manages to weld these group together into a very entertaining read.
A combination of Russian agents, Russian double agents, MI5, MI6, and undertakers does not instantly make you think of comedy. But Mr Johnson manages to weld these group together into a very entertaining read.
August 20, 2023
If you read the first book in this series, you’ll already be familiar with Max and his partners who by the end of that book found themselves working as undertakers and funeral directors at their own company. But things aren’t going so well. As this story begins, they’re approached by a person who gives them a large upfront payment with more to come. All they have to do is pick up a body from an undertaker in France and bring it back to the UK. Should be a piece of cake, right?
It turns out not to be so easy though. From minor issues, like the body won’t fit in the coffin they brought with them, to more significant issues I can’t mention since it would be a spoiler, they find that things aren’t quite what they expected. Just when they think they have things under control and have figured out how to deal with it, something else happens, with the pace of these wild twists coming faster and faster as the story progresses. If you’re a fan of comedy crime novels, this one is worth a read.
**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **
It turns out not to be so easy though. From minor issues, like the body won’t fit in the coffin they brought with them, to more significant issues I can’t mention since it would be a spoiler, they find that things aren’t quite what they expected. Just when they think they have things under control and have figured out how to deal with it, something else happens, with the pace of these wild twists coming faster and faster as the story progresses. If you’re a fan of comedy crime novels, this one is worth a read.
**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **
June 11, 2023
Read funny crime drama
Another rollicking, fast paced crime farce from Rob Johnson. Well up to the standard of his previous works with a convoluted plot and a believable cast of hapless characters enmeshed in much more serious goings-on.
One very minor ( very minor ) criticism, the cliff-hanger closers to the chapters can be a tad formulaic. All in all a great read though.
Another rollicking, fast paced crime farce from Rob Johnson. Well up to the standard of his previous works with a convoluted plot and a believable cast of hapless characters enmeshed in much more serious goings-on.
One very minor ( very minor ) criticism, the cliff-hanger closers to the chapters can be a tad formulaic. All in all a great read though.
July 18, 2023
Funeral In...Oh.
Excellent sequel with just the right balance of dark humour and thrills. Outrageous characters and fast moving story also stays just the right side of Carry On Spying.
Excellent sequel with just the right balance of dark humour and thrills. Outrageous characters and fast moving story also stays just the right side of Carry On Spying.
December 25, 2023
Great story. Great characters. The ending was not as good as the first book.
May 1, 2024
Fun read and good characters
NoLiked it better than the first one. Characters seemed more natural. Not as many seen it coming scenarios . Definitely looking for the next
NoLiked it better than the first one. Characters seemed more natural. Not as many seen it coming scenarios . Definitely looking for the next
August 14, 2025
A light fun read but not that memorable for me I'm afraid.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews