Favorite Quotes:
And by the way, Jen, if you’re going to start dating again and having a whole Exciting Sexy Life with Multiple New Men, don’t expect to turn up here and be able to go on about it. Staying married is hard enough without the single friends bragging about last night with Mr Musical Fingers they found on Tinder.
‘Alison, there is not going to be any dating yet, I can promise you that,’ I tell her truthfully. ‘Too soon?’ she asks. ‘Definitely too soon,’ I confirm. ‘I’m burned… it could be years before I play with those matches again.’
‘You need to take care of yourself, my girl…’ ‘Yes, thanks, Wattie, I’m trying to do that.’ ‘I’ve seen it so many times before with the sows…’ ‘The sows?!’ Alison says, astonished. ‘This is not the same! Wattie, please stop talking.’ ‘Well, no.’ Wattie rubs his chin, deep in thought. He hasn’t taken off his hat, which I suspect is not actually a hat but a knitted and very battered tea cosy. ‘But the sows,’ he goes on, ‘when their piglets go, they can get moody, even ferocious. I’ve even seen them attack other mothers and eat their young. Not nice. So you must be careful, Jennifer, you don’t want to let that happen to you.’ I nod solemnly. Maybe I should feel offended, but it’s too funny. ‘Wattie, I promise, I will not eat your children. OK?’
I’m already loving Elaine. She is beautifully dressed in 1950s vintage. Her orangey hair is even rolled up at the front into one of those 1950s dos. She looks like a wonderful mix of Doris Day, doll and alien space lady.
We kissed… and it was a bit weird,’ he says. ‘I mean the kissing itself wasn’t weird, that was really quite nice. It was the fact that we were kissing. It’s all been so long. I’ve forgotten how to do even snogging. I’m like a thirteen-year-old. I might need to practise on my hand. Like in primary school…
My Review:
I giggle-snorted, smirked, and hooted with glee while reading this delightfully witty tale. I have a new favorite author and her name is Carmen Reid. Her writing sparkled with clever and amusing inner musings as well as insightful revelations and observations. Her humorous descriptions pulled vivid visuals to my mind’s eye that had me barking a laugh more than once.