Who You Are: Internalizing the Gospel to Find Your True Identity

by Judy Cha

In our culture today, the preoccupation over self-identity--or who we are--is hard to ignore. But the pursuit of self-understanding has been a recurring theme throughout human history. How many times have you asked yourself, "Who am I?"

The desire to answer this question--whether it manifests in self-enhancement strategies or self-serving biases--is part of being human. Yet, through a Biblical lens, we know something has gone terribly wrong with our human nature. Brokenness happened when sin separated us from our Creator God, and the answers we seek are only obtainable when we reconnect with him.

Using the Gospel-Centered Integrative Framework for Therapy developed at Redeemer Counseling Services, Judy Cha

The human desire for an identityThe role of shame and hurt in shaping who we think we areSelf-redemption, and why it doesn't workThe Gospel as God's rescue plan for a lost humanityHow to ardently know your story, truly live in your community, and deeply connect with GodWho You Are shows us that the Gospel is the only thing that sets you free from the verdict of sin and justifies you as God's prized possession. When you internalize the Gospel--this message of restorative love--you come to know who you are more and more every day.

This unique resource is ideal for those who feel stuck in a perpetual loop of "finding themselves" and for counselors or ministry leaders seeking to help others with gospel-centered healing.

Genres: Mental Health, Personal Growth, Christian

237 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 17, 2023

Reviews

[Mina Hong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy Cha speaks so clearly of our innate shame and how it affects the way we relate to the Lord and to the world. The overlapping of Judy’s cultural upbringing and my own put words to experiences I have never been able to piece together on my own.

Her latter chapters of identity renewed my spirit and I feel more equipped to recognize and let go of the idols in my life and instead be filled by the true Protector.

**12/30/2024 review #2:
Didn't know you can only write one review per book! The more you know.

At what point in your life can you say a book has changed your life? Is it premature for me to claim that for this book?

I first read this book in one of, if not the hardest, point in my life. Lies and doubt swarmed me, clouding my ability to see, know, or feel God's truth. To read this novel at such time provided me the on ramp to healing that followed me steadily throughout 2024.

Cha writes about how we as humans cannot declare identity over ourselves because we are sinful and fickle in nature. Instead, she reminds us that we are image bearers, reflecting the original image of God. By looking to Christ, we discover who we are truly meant to be—God's original design for His people—and in that truth, our sense of self and worth stabilizes.

Genesis 1:31 And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

It's not instinctive to apply "very good" when I consider myself or the judgements people have placed on me. Yet God looks at His people and delcares goodness, pleasure, and delight.

Psalm 149:4 For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation.

My second reading of this book has brought new reminders and convictions. It’s challenged me to examine the core wounds in my life—how they’ve led to idols that offer a false sense of safety and comfort, yet ultimately rob me of the eternal, satisfying presence of Christ. And most importantly, a fresh renewing of delighting in Him.

I’m grateful to experience this book again in a new season of life—a season of hope and truth.

[Brianna Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

read it, read it, read it

[Samantha Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

very balanced. good book

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever felt lost in your sense of self? Have you ever felt out of place in your purpose in life? In Who You Are, therapist and author Judy Cha writes a guide on internalizing the Gospel to find your true identity. Centered on the Good News and generous in grace, this book will help you understand and apply biblical truths about your God-given identity.

Released from Shame

Judy Cha (M.A., Westminster Theological Seminary, Ph.D, Eastern University) is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationships, self-image, and multicultural issues. She serves as the director of Redeemer Counseling Services, a ministry of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. Judy also counsels individuals, couples, and families through her Gospel-centered Integrative Framework for Therapy (GIFT) approach.

Cha weaves her personal story into the book, and I was most moved to hear how important it had been for her to be accepted into mainstream Western culture while growing up as a minority. Her story of assimilating by speaking without an accent and learning mannerisms and fashion sounded familiar to me.

Cha says that we long for acceptance from others and depend on outside information to define our identity. When we feel like we don't fit in, we reinforce the message that we're not good enough. This gripping sense of shame can only be released when we go to God for our identity.

Idolatry and Engagement

I was most interested to read how idolatry is connected to our identity. Cha defines idolatry as any object, person, or pursuit that becomes more important than God in our lives. Further, she describes deep idols as our innate desires for power, control, approval, and comfort. Our surface idols are the tangible objects, persons, or pursuits that become idols, such as money, career, sex, or children.

I reflected on my own idols and my leanings toward both mastery and avoidance tactics. I resolved to relate to God with my identity, seeking his strength and assurance.

This book gives a framework for finding your true identity, with practical help from a professional. It is grounded in the Gospel and will help you grow in Christ as you experience and enjoy what it means to be a child of God.

I received a media copy ofWho You Are, and this is my honest review.

[Christina Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

The whole concept of "not wanting to be perceived" that I've been running with as just "part of my personality" has lost its whimsy as I reconcile with what this book has to say on identity. It is a slippery slope into the idolization of comfort, among other strategies.

Humbling and informative. Shame, naturally connected, impossibly embedded, to how we were made. Inevitable, due to the fall. The problem isn't the present circumstance but our system of self-redemption. There is only one who holds perfect authority to give us our identity.

Suffering -> Perseverance -> Character -> Hope. And hope does not put us to shame.

Romans 7:15-20
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Thank you, lovely Mina, for this recommendation. As the book taught me of corrective relational experiences, I thought of your steadfast support and love. Our friendship is one the Lord authored and helps quiet the negative chatter in my head.

[Rachel Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book by Judy Cha. That she sat under the ministry of Tim and Kathy Keller is quite evident in her writing. She returns again and again to the power of the gospel. I feel like a lot of Christian counseling books struggle to align the human experience of shame with the gospel without coming across as pithy or even judgmental or naive, but Cha is a compassionate and wise counselor and shares her wisdom freely in this book.

The author preaches the importance of knowing who we are in Christ and how that changes everything. Because we have let Jesus see our shame and find our identity in him, we can be authentic with others and sit with their stories in compassion.

I thought the questions at the end of each chapter were helpful, and I found the appendices to be quite useful. I think this is a book all Christians should read, especially pastors.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this, one chapter at a time, over the course of several months. I genuinely think that all believers would benefit from reading this book. Judy Cha is clearly so passionate about helping people discover and believe the truth of the Gospel so that they can live into their true identity in Christ. In this book, she has provided an approachable framework to do just that. It’s a must-read for Christians who want to 1) deepen their dependence on God, 2) better understand themselves and their standard approaches to pain and God, and 3) are willing to put in the deep work to emerge as people more confident in their God-given identity.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

biblical and psychologically informed

Judy Cha does a wonderful job interweaving the theology of Scripture with psychology as a supporting framework. Many in the Christian world poo-poo psychology and I can understand why—given its origins and history. However, we can redeem something that God has helped us to see about deeper realities in our mind, will and emotions. I hope that more Christians will find this book so they can have a deeper, more abiding relationship with God that is not based on what you do or don’t do for God, but based on a loving relationship with our Father.

[Tim Cox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for people like you. I don't even know you and I know you should read this book.

I cried. I texted people who were encouragements in my life. I learned about myself. I felt a little lighter after each chapter.

Judy is a force; she knows who she is and tells you who you are in Christ.

And, like, even if you're not a Christian, I really think you're going to get tons out of this book.

I read it in two sittings and I don't even like to read.

[Adriana Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing, such an easy read but a read that prompts you to apply in your life. It is so important to do the inner work but also to learn who God is and internalize it so you find your true identity in Jesus Christ. I would recommend this book in a heart beat. It’s not a book to just read through. It’s a book to read a chapter and digest and apply it to your life.

[Jonathan Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of hearing Judy speak and introduce her book July 2023. I started reading it Spring of 2024. This book highlights the essentials of Gospel identity and ways we turn to strategies to deal with pain in our lives - exposing the idols in hearts and introducing so many practical examples. This book is a must read.

[Emily V · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a practical and straightforward, yet compassionate, perspective on healing our wounds and coming to know Christ more deeply.

I would only add a possible difference in understanding salvation. A few times she writes that we were “worth” Christ dying for. We were not worthy but He chose to die for us out of His covenant love!

[Carol Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good one! I was blessed by this book and enjoyed the process of learning deeply about this topic.

Fall - Shame - Experience - making sense. Transformation has to happen by that way.
Salvation - Knowing truth - Experience - making sense.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a wise, empathetic and articulate book that clearly describes the process of Biblical counseling to help us know our core hurts, shame-based identity, our idolatrous strategies to escape our shame and deep idols. Once we know our own stories, we can identify our barriers to truly trust in our God-given identity as His beloved children, shame fully covered by Jesus's blood of righteousness, and now live in freedom and healing from our past hurts and brokenness. To reverse the influence of our past hurts on our understanding of God, we need new redemptive relational experiences with people, that contradict our past beliefs and confirm the love and mercy of God.

Many chapters need second reading and really thinking deep and journaling about my own life, painful memories, implicit messages they conveyed, how my deep idols affect my thinking, emotions, and decisions, and how to connect deeply with God and trustworthy people.

[Emily Hill · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, solid wisdom and practical advice. I found the 'systems of self redemption' to be convicting and definitely something I need to be watching out for in my life. However, I did feel like the chapters were a bit repetitive and would have loved just as many examples of how finding identity in Christ anchors the soul as the ones that talked about how seeking identity in yourself or surroundings untethers the soul.