From the moment I saw the title of this book, I knew I was going to love it. Because this is me! This is my friendships. In my maid of honor speech at my best friend’s wedding I even referenced our M&M nights- Margaritas and Mexican Food. It’s always our default mode when we need some time together, we send out a text calling for an emergency M&M night. That’s how I knew ‘Here for It (The Good, the Bad, and the Queso)’ was going to be a hit!
Let’s break this review down into a few items of business, shall we?
Who is this for?
Anyone! While I would say this is more directed for women in the thick of being the family Uber driver and asking questions like can my kids survive on a third night in a row of frozen chicken nuggets, it has various sections that can meet you where you are at in your friendship journey. I especially thought Part 1- Recipes for Working on Yourself and Showing Up, held a lot of valuable information for my younger self. Don’t be afraid to share this with the teenager or college student in your life.
General Comments
The layout of this book was great! Broken down into two parts, with multiple supporting chapters. Each chapter includes relatable stories from the authors followed with ‘the good’, ‘the bad’, and ‘the takeaway’ on how to apply or reflect on each teaching. Really though, this felt like grabbing an iced coffee at a favorite local café with my new friends Amy and Jess. I mean- you know your friends when you're talk about chin hairs, right?
Of course, some parts of the book resonated more with me, than others. But that’s understandable, we all have different experiences, and are in different places in our lives.
While this is clearly focused on building quality friendships, I think there is a lot of practical advice for ANY relationship in your life.
Personal Favorite Chapters
Chapter 7: I Would Rather Eat Soggy Cheetos Than Admit I’m Wrong (A Recipe for Humility)
Chapter 13: Well, That Went Over My Head (A Recipe for Speaking Someone Else’s Love Language) – This one was good, y’all!
Chapter 19: We Share a Fence, But I Don’t Even Know Your Name (A Recipe for Knowing Your Neighbors)
Chapter 20: Well, You Just Honked at Me, So Now I’m Going to Sit at This Stoplight for All Eternity (A Recipe for Handling Confrontation)
Chapter 21: How to Walk Through Pain With Your Friends (A Recipe for Loving Well, Even If You Feel Unqualified)
Favorite Quotes
“But sometimes the most beautiful things slip through our fingers. It doesn’t mean they didn’t matter. It doesn’t mean they weren’t important. Sometimes it’s the opposite.”
“Remind yourself that one person in your corner is enough- it’s actually more than enough. Sometimes I think we get so focused on who we don’t have that we forget to treasure who we do.”
“Trying to control somebody else is like running a race with no finish line. It’s going to leave you exhausted and anxious.”
“I think we lose out on so much connection when we try to fit people in a box they were never meant to go into in the first place. We are different. We’re supposed to be different. It is so very easy to see the world through our own limited view and criticize people who do things differently.”
“Every good and lasting friendship requires intentionality, whether they live next door or on another planet. --- It means you care enough to focus on them and, like a plant you really want to survive, you water them and tend to them regularly.”
“The most important thing you can do is be there. That’s it. Just be there. I believe (and I could be wrong) that when we choose to be present in those moments, God uses us as a conduit of his love and presence, his nearness. Our shoulder against their shoulder becomes his shoulder against their shoulder. Our hand on their hand becomes his. We’re a space-holder, a vessel of comfort, a present reminder of peace.”
Final Thoughts
Buy this book. Then take your sweatpant wearing, messy hair self over to your friends house and just be.
Maybe grab some queso and margs on your way for good measure.
It’s all nourishment for the soul.