Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You

by David H. Rosmarin

From the founder of Center for Anxiety and Harvard associate professor David H. Rosmarin, PhD, a practical guide to transforming your anxiety from a burden to a benefit. Those of us who suffer from anxiety either exhaust ourselves trying to cure it or resign ourselves to a lifetime of fear and worry. What if, instead of fighting our anxiety, we could turn it into a strength? Through nine easy-to-follow strategies, Dr. David H. Rosmarin demonstrates how to harness the power of anxiety to learn about ourselves, deepen our relationships with others, and achieve our deepest goals and dreams. You will learn how to use anxiety as a tool to Dr. Rosmarin's constructive, compassionate, and evidence-based approach will not rid you of your anxiety. Instead, it will empower you to reach your fullest potential because of it .

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Psychology, Health, Personal Development, Audiobook

352 pages, Hardcover

Published October 17, 2023

About the author

David H. Rosmarin PhD is the author of Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You (Release date: October 17, 2023 with HarperCollins). He is an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, a program director at McLean Hospital, and founder of Center for Anxiety, which provides services to over 1,000 patients/year in multiple states. Dr. Rosmarin is an international expert on spirituality and mental health, whose work has been featured in Scientific American, the Boston Globe, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times. He can be reached via his website www.dhrosmarin.com

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is why I don’t read self help books. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I had to pick this one up, I guess I’ve been seduced by too much Mark Manson.

All of this guy's words are silly. Mentalization. Parasympathetic. Psychoeducation. Neuroticism.

Doctor Whatsis regurgitates the same drivel that you come to expect from these books. Replace your negative spiral with a positive one! Harness the power of your anxiety! You can do it!

And here, for your edification, he presents the solution to all your stress: 1) Get more sleep. 2)Turn off the little screen. 3) Just say no.

And my personal favorite, though not in so many words, but generally under self-acceptance: Accept the fact that you work at Walmart and the opportunity to grab that PhD and start your own medical center has passed you by!

Just take a Xanax and read something else until you feel better.

https://criticusbookreviews.wordpress...

[Markie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You" by David H. Rosmarin appears to offer a refreshing perspective on dealing with anxiety. Instead of viewing anxiety as a hindrance or trying to eliminate it entirely, the book suggests transforming it into a positive force that can be used to enhance various aspects of one's life. Dr. David H. Rosmarin, the founder of the Center for Anxiety and an associate professor at Harvard, provides readers with practical strategies to harness the power of anxiety and turn it into a benefit. The book's key points are as follows:

1. **Transforming Anxiety:** The book challenges the conventional approach of merely trying to eliminate anxiety and instead encourages readers to use it as a catalyst for growth and self-improvement.

2. **Nine Strategies:** The book offers nine strategies that individuals can use to leverage their anxiety for personal development and success. These strategies are designed to help individuals become more self-aware, build self-acceptance, improve resilience, enhance relationships, experience emotional intimacy, and achieve their goals.

3. **Self-Awareness and Resilience:** Dr. Rosmarin's approach emphasizes developing a greater understanding of oneself and building resilience in the face of anxiety. By using anxiety as a tool, individuals can gain insights into their thought patterns, behaviors, and emotional responses.

4. **Enhancing Relationships:** The book highlights how anxiety can be used to foster deeper connections with others. By learning to understand and relate to others from a place of empathy and vulnerability, individuals can enhance their emotional intimacy and communication skills.

5. **Acceptance and Growth:** Instead of struggling against anxiety, the book advocates for acceptance of life's challenges and uncertainties. By doing so, individuals can push forward to achieve their goals and dreams, even in the presence of anxiety.

6. **Evidence-Based Approach:** Dr. Rosmarin's approach is grounded in evidence-based practices, ensuring that the strategies provided are practical and effective.

Overall, "Thriving with Anxiety" offers an alternative perspective on anxiety—one that reframes it as a tool for personal growth and development. By following the nine strategies outlined in the book, readers can learn to work with their anxiety rather than against it, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life. The book's compassionate and constructive approach seems to provide readers with a valuable resource for managing anxiety and using it as a catalyst for positive change.

[Nandika | Booktrovertgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I judge non-fiction books more harshly than fiction ones. I need actionable items; I need to relate to it, and I need to look at it from a perspective that I hadn't thought of before. Thriving With Anxiety gives all three things and more.

Before this, I viewed anxiety like a crutch, a weakness that I didn't want in me. Even though I didn't completely start to think that anxiety is a blessing, Thriving with Anxiety gave me a different view; I could relate to all the things mentioned in the book. It felt like the book was written specifically for me, I was literally going through some of the stuff mentioned in the book in real time. The part about spirals and how anxiety affects relationships especially resonated me.

There are actionable items in the book as well - how to stop spiraling and getting into a positive connection spiral was something that I liked a lot. There are situations that Rosmarin brings up from his therapy sessions and it helps to see real life examples. I also liked how he's not always able to help patients in the way he wants, and he mentions those situations as well. I don't know how people who don't have anxiety might like this, but for people who do, this is a must read.

Great book with actionable takeaways. Highly recommend.

[Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of food for thought and 'aha' moments here about anxiety's role for good and for ill, with an emphasis on explaining to the reader how it can be reflective of positive or protective forces.

The final 'transcending anxiety' piece of the book may resonate less strongly, as it feels a little naive about the material complications and realities preventing people from reaching for their dreams and chasing complete self-actualization.

[Christianna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This had a several good point and tips, but it completely lost me when it had several chapters about catering to others when you have anxiety as a good thing. For many noticing others is the exact wrong thing. It felt irresponsible and off base.

[Dolly Adams · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found some of the advice helpful, but the examples used seemed extreme and I wanted to fact check parts.

[Whitney Liegakos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little religious for my taste at times, but I can get behind some of his more spiritual explanations. That aside, this has to be the best self help book (for my needs) that I’ve ever read. If you ever experience anxious thoughts, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. So many great thoughts and perspectives on exploring anxiety from a different angle. I learned so much and will definitely listen to it again!!

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a solid book with lots of good insight. I have nothing bad to say. I liked parts 1 & 3 the best.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good concept little longer than needed

[Ryan Beltz · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Thriving with Anxiety” by David Rosmarin is a refreshing dive into understanding and managing anxiety, offering readers a clear, concise, and applicable breakdown of its causes and strategies to effectively deal with them.

This book is more than just theories; it’s rich with depth and filled with applicable case studies that resonate with readers on various levels. One of the standout elements is Rosmarin’s breakdown of the relationships section, which was particularly insightful when it touched on dealing with anxiety and catastrophic thinking. His ability to dissect these complex issues into manageable and understandable concepts truly sets this book apart.

At the heart of the book, Rosmarin posits a compelling thesis: anxiety can be wielded in a positive direction. This perspective was not only eye-opening but incredibly useful. He articulates how anxiety, while discomfiting and often distressing, can foster empathy for others, increase awareness of our surroundings, and aid in future planning.

The book doesn't shy away from acknowledging that sometimes medication is necessary to cope with the panic, but Rosmarin emphasizes how pairing it with exposure therapy can shift one's mindset on anxiety, transforming it into a tool for personal growth.

The power of prayer section was another highlight for me. Rosmarin approaches prayer as a means of self-reflection and gratitude, allowing one to appreciate what they have and understand the extents of their control. It fosters empathy and gratitude towards others, which can be incredibly grounding.

From start to finish, the structure and organization of “Thriving with Anxiety” were meticulously crafted, making complex themes accessible and interconnected. This seamless weaving of ideas presents a new way for readers to manage anxiety, making it not only palatable but empowering.

Overall, I found “Thriving with Anxiety” to be an enlightening read, and I appreciated how the themes tied together to offer a new perspective on managing anxiety. Whether you're someone who experiences anxiety or you want to understand it better to support a loved one, I wholeheartedly recommend David Rosmarin’s book. It’s a tool that equips its readers not only to manage anxiety but to thrive with it.

[T.K. CHAPMAN · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was more of a 3.5 stars for me. While there were some helpful ideas here, some things seemed geared toward those with regular anxiety, as opposed to anxiety disorders. Not necessarily bad, just something to note. Also, if you have severe anxiety you will most likely need professional assistance with some of the tools in the book. Also, I feel like at least fifty pages could have been shaved off this one. A bit repetitive at times.

[Nishanth Kumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful book that really changed my perspective on anxiety! I especially appreciated how actionable a lot of the analysis/advice is!

[Adam Helsel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I salvaged some good shit out this but 2/3 was unnecessary.

[Feng Ouyang · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "Thriving with Anxiety," Harvard professor and anxiety therapist David Rosmarin challenges the widespread belief that anxiety is inherently detrimental and should be avoided at all costs. He argues that anxiety is an integral part of human biology with a distinct purpose. The book explores the role of anxiety in three key areas of our lives: daily activities, relationships, and personal growth. For each aspect, Rosmarin offers strategies to understand, harness, and master anxiety, which he describes as the "nine tools."

First, it's essential to recognize anxiety as a normal part of life. Anxiety serves as an alarm system, alerting us to impending danger and activating our emergency responses by enhancing our alertness and mobilizing our resources. However, a common issue arises when we become anxious about our anxiety. This worry about potential poor performance under anxiety creates a new threat, triggering further anxiety—a cycle that can be both debilitating and frightening. In reality, anxiety is a self-limiting reaction; it escalates rapidly, often before we are consciously aware of the threat, but it also involves a slower process that mitigates anxiety, clears adrenaline, and restores our normal state. Understanding that anxiety is both natural and transient helps us avoid triggering this spiral and manage our response to anxiety effectively.

Coping with anxiety involves anticipating it in situations of uncertainty, whether we are tackling unfamiliar tasks like public speaking, engaging in potentially challenging social interactions, or exploring new avenues for personal growth. It’s crucial to understand that anxiety is not indicative of failure; rather, it's an integral part of the journey. By practicing self-compassion and accepting our anxiety reactions, we can reduce their negative impacts and transform anxiety into a supportive ally.

Secondly, we should acknowledge the positive aspects of anxiety, especially as a potent tool for self-awareness. In everyday life, anxiety signals our mental engagement with tasks, sharpening our cognitive and execution skills to optimize performance. In personal relationships, it enhances our sensitivity and empathy, making us more effective communicators. Feeling anxious about life decisions can indicate that these choices deeply resonate with our core values and deserve thorough consideration. We can amplify these positive effects of anxiety by reframing our perceptions. On stage, a racing heartbeat is not just fear but also excitement; in relationships, cautiousness and hesitation demonstrate genuine care. Anxiety about starting a new endeavor is part of rigorous preparation. By using reframing and other strategies, we can transform anxiety from a hindrance into a helpful force.

At the same time, we must strike a balance between bravery and comfort and decide how much anxiety we should tolerate. It is OK to dial down our ambitions so we are not overwhelmed by anxiety. As physical fatigue and pain, anxiety reflects our mental limitations, something that we should respect, not ignore.

Third, we can enhance our capacity to tolerate and conquer anxiety. The book advocates for exposure therapy, which involves deliberately engaging in activities that trigger anxiety. Although confronting anxiety directly can be extremely uncomfortable, these experiences gradually desensitize us to our fears and strengthen our mental resilience. This method not only helps in managing anxiety but also in building a more robust psychological foundation for future challenges.

The book offers a refreshing perspective on anxiety. Rather than viewing it as an obstacle, the book encourages us to accept and embrace anxiety. On the other hand, we should also recognize that anxiety manifests in various forms and stems from different causes for different individuals and situations. While the book offers practical advice, it is more important to contemplate this perspective and explore our personal journey with anxiety, which is crucial for truly understanding and managing our experiences with it.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely excellent! I don't usually read non-fiction / self-help books, but this is probably one of the best and most useful guides I've read in a while. Nearly every single tip or observation felt like it was tailor-made and personalised towards my internal experiences & struggles. It's wild how spot on everything here is!

I love the unique perspective that anxiety can be a useful trait if you turn it into a strength, and the importance of not attributing "shame", "judgement" or "guilt" when it comes to feelings of anxiety, as that perpectuates the anxiety cycle & causes more anxiety. The comments on how "self-compassion is something that is given especially when you feel like you don't deserve it" were very insightful as well.

The chapters on how it's important to embrace uncertainty and realise that this is simply part of the human condition were great as well. Having limitations / failures and not being in control all the time is something all humans experience, and having humility and acceptance regarding this is important for achieving peace.

The tips on how anxiety often reflects what's important to you, and can be used for identifying your values were very interesting as well. And also how it's important to not use avoidance coping and face / embrace anxiety head on + do exposure therapy whilst accepting yourself & working towards your goals. Plus making sure balance and self-care is also prioritised and you're not working yourself into a burnout.

Basically this book was great! Very clearly written and you can tell this book is written by someone who is an expert on the subject. There are a lot of idiosyncrasies / unique thought-cycles when it comes to anxiety, and this book is surprisingly aware of them! As someone who personally struggles with anxiety, I felt this book perfectly addressed all my main concerns and provided really detailed and useful tips on dealing with and harnessing the positives in regards to anxiety.

All in all a brilliant book! Highly recommend this and whilst I read a library copy, I would personally love to buy this book just so that I can read & apply these techniques everyday.

[Ariana Emmer Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️s — this book had so many good gems in it and I definitely recommend it for those with anxiety or a lot of stress! I know my approach to anxiety has been the path of trying to heal it and be rid of it but I loved this perspective of integrating your anxiety and seeing it as an innate tool.

Exposure therapy was also a big aha moment for me and I’m glad I have awareness on how to integrate that now.

As a law of attraction girly it was a bit challenging to fully accept some of his language around how so much is 100% out of our control so why think we can do anything to change it. I think having that logic is important so we can release control and resist hardships in life less. BUT, I’m also not going to visualize the worst case scenario happening more than necessary and will absolutely still be focusing on outcomes I do want and not falling into a victim mentality.

The book got a bit repetitive for me at times. I also wish he shared a bit more about the process his clients took to heal their anxiety since the examples kinda went from point A to point Z a bit quickly and didn’t feel very concrete or supportive to the reader in terms of how they could achieve the same outcome.

[Christian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Currently listening to this and loving it. As someone who has had GAD and panic disorder for 10 years, I’ve looked into a lot of treatment options. Therapy, breath work, journaling, medication, IFS, movement, you name it. I’m not sure why, but this book is just clicking for me. It’s a little redundant, but I think my brain needs to hear certain things repeated, so no complaints. I think listening to it is also powerful, as I’m processing it differently than if I were reading it. In the past few weeks, I’ve felt more confident in myself and my ability to face my fears. Some of the examples he gives are so relatable, it’s helped me feel less judgement towards myself, and to feel less crazy / alone. I hope this trend of facing my anxiety continues, and I implement the strategies into my everyday life; to thrive with my anxiety, appreciate it, and not fall into the downward spiral.

[Leah Hortin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall a solid read. I appreciated a lot of what he said - stop trying to eliminate anxiety, accept it, learn from it, and use it for your greater good while also prioritizing self care. The client anecdotes were helpful but his methods do seem rather intense. I can't say I necessarily took away anything new from this book as many of the concepts and "tools" are things I've utilized through coaching and other self development programs, however it is always good to hear the messaging again. I especially needed to hear that sometimes regardless of your effort, you'll still fail and that's just life. This is where my particular flavor of anxiety rears its ugly head the most - personalizing failures and allowing them to sideline me longer than I think they should.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thriving with Anxiety is easily one of the most useful self-help books I've ever read. I found the tools and techniques effective and widely applicable to many situations. I understood a lot of these concepts from prior experience and it was validating to know that I'm on the right path. I was intrigued by the idea that the source of one's anxiety can be a touchstone for self-actualization, i.e. the thing you're obsessed with points to your life's purpose. You can channel anxiety for a positive change. I can't wait to share this book with people in my life as a comprehensive tool for understanding anxiety.

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chapter 1: "When people have a fear reaction that is disproportionate to the actual level of threat, that's anxiety. When people have an access of life demands over and above the resources they have to meet those demands, that creates stress."

Chapter 2: "Many people confuse stress, which involves a depletion of resources, with anxiety, which involves a misfire of the fight or flight system."

Chapter 4: "When you see a good man, think of emulating him. Hen you see a bad man, examine your own heart."

Chapter 5: "There are clear, discernable steps in the process of accelerating a mild disagreement into a major impass. People feel as if they have no control over a sudden onrush of anger, but when you slow things down, there are often many points at which one can take action and avoid falling into intense emotions."

Chapter 9: "All the heroes I know also face significant stress and fear, because all human pursuits of significant value involved facing adversity. This is not by accident. When we push ourselves to achieve some goal, we simultaneously take on risk, which increases our anxiety while engaging our capacity to realize our potential and experience true happiness...anxiety is a necessary aspect of thriving...heroically pursuing our goals in life necessitates facing stress, adversity and fear. Anxiety is a critical aspect of human happiness."

[Kate K. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was kind of hard to rate. I felt that it might be great for those who are recently struggling with anxiety or who have never sought therapy before. For me, as a long time sufferer of anxiety and someone who strongly believes in the powers of therapy, it seemed a bit rudimentary. Also, the author relies heavily on exposure therapy, and although I am a big proponent of exposure therapy, I felt like the amount of examples, actually was anxiety inducing! So if anxiety is something new that you're experiencing and you are ready to face some of those fears while needing a larger understanding of some coping skills/tools, this might be a good book to start with.

[Katie Romine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I began listening to this audiobook after I had heard an interview with the author on one of my favorite podcasts. Overall some great points made in the book about working with your anxiety, rather than against it. It was helpful to listen to him map out the issues people often have with anxiety in a very simple way. I found the chapter on dealing with uncertainty to be most relevant. There are a lot of great tools and content in this book to help you get a better handle on anxiety in all areas of life.

[Will · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took me a bit longer to finish this book than I would’ve liked due to having to return it to the library mid-read, but I enjoyed it. Rosmarin understands anxiety, and fills the book with anecdotes from patients he’s worked with—which made me realize my anxiety isn’t all that bad, considering.

If you’ve read other work on overcoming anxiety, you’ve probably already come across much of what this book covers, but I still think it’s a worthy read.

[Eliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe this book is the book everyone who struggles with anxiety must read. Dr Rosmarin approach is eye opening and it leads us to stop fighting those uncomfortable feelings but to let them teach us to become more in touch with ourselves.

I highly recommend this book. It’s truly life changing.

[Moishe R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I struggled with anxiety, and this book helped me more than anything else. It feels like a real therapy session, full of validation and practical tips. The author even shares his own anxiety, which makes it very comforting and real. Amazing guidance without spending money on therapy. Highly recommended.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is packed with information. Not every chapter was relevant to me at the moment... but I feel that this book should remain on a handy shelf where it can be referred to again and again. Things can change at any time!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Rosmarin offers a research-based deep-dive into anxiety and anxiety disorders. He brings years of experience, as well. His insights include theory about the nature of anxiety, concrete steps we can take to use anxiety as a tool for personal growth, and storytelling to demonstrate both.

[Megan Pembleton · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

“We are not alone in our suffering “

Definitely some great information and knowledge here for how to harness our anxiety and use it to thrive. A bit long of a book and repetitive at times however I did enjoy it overall and felt it was as mostly uplifting and positive.

[Terry Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm working my way through Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You. I feel like I'm getting more grounded every week!

[Brian Sachetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that offers a new way of looking at anxiety. Many practical strategies that will resonate with readers. Highly recommend.