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Onimon Slayers #1: The Beginning
This is the second edition of the book; the cover has been changed, the book has been turned from script to narrative form while ensuring that the grammar, punctuation, and coherence are fully fixed, an area map has been added, the first edition has been moved to the back, and pronunciations were assigned to characters as they were introduced.
The story starts with the prologue to the journey of a brother and sister, who must make their way as Oni Slayers. Hikaru and Hibana are twins who must deal with the loss of a loved one at the hands of monsters known only as Onimon. Each one has their own goals as Oni Slayers. One seeks revenge, and the other seeks peace. Will these siblings reach their goals, or will they perish before either of them can achieve them?
The story starts with the prologue to the journey of a brother and sister, who must make their way as Oni Slayers. Hikaru and Hibana are twins who must deal with the loss of a loved one at the hands of monsters known only as Onimon. Each one has their own goals as Oni Slayers. One seeks revenge, and the other seeks peace. Will these siblings reach their goals, or will they perish before either of them can achieve them?
- GenresFantasy
451 pages, ebook
Published March 13, 2023
29 people are currently reading
1233 people want to read
About the author
Armani Wright
5 books45 followersI am Armani Wright, co-author of "Onimon Slayers" and co-author of "The Man That Follows God" and co-author of "The Diary of Emily". Born in Chicago on April 5, 1996. I like to work out every day. My favorite music is alternative rock and nu metal. "Beggin" by Måneskin, and "Wonderwall" by Oasis are my favorite alternate rock songs. "Stricken" by Disturbed is my favorite nu metal song. My favorite nu metal band is Staind. I like some hip-hop; my favorite music artist is Doja Cat, and my favorite songs from her are "Streets" and "Love to Dream". My favorite anime and cartoons are the Dragonball series and Arcane. My favorite games are Fallout and Valorant. You can follow me on Instagram at armanidragon1(https://www.instagram.com/armanidragon1/). Here is our fans discord channel link https://discord.gg/7gGypSKKvW, or Goodread fanclub link https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/....
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
May 1, 2024
Reviewer- (gleeful mocking tone) Welcome . . . to the world of books written by people who have never read a book. Now with bonus review of the revised edition and audiobook!
If you'll indulge me, I'll open this review with the single best quote from the text:
What is this even? Are you ready, because I'm going to tell you.
I'll tell you what it's not first. It's not a novel. It best approximates a screenplay for an anime. Every line starts with the name of a character, then a description of the tone that character uses in round brackets, then the dialogue, then maybe the action that character takes again in round brackets, sometimes with an explanation included in square brackets. Occasionally a narrator chimes in. He's the worst.
What is Onimon Slayers about? It's about slaying Onimon. The end, basically. At least it starts off with some good energy, an epic battle between the four ninja clan leaders and a demon lord. He's an Onimon. Onimon just means demon.
And so forth. The opening battle is so epic that the rest of the, uh, assemblage of words, is kind of a let down, as after the titanic OP affair, we spend the rest of our time with mere teens in training. At least this provides opportunities for some masterful worldbuilding.
Remember that, now, it's vital information for the ending of—oops there's actually no ending, the author just got tired or something and decided to publish, I dunno.
And now I share with you the second best quote from the affair:
No, I don't know why the entire published thing is in bold text. It's probably because every word is just super important, okay?
There's a trend here that I can't quite grab. See if you can get a feel for it:
Nope, I'm still not getting the shape of it.
But I have to give a second star for sheer enthusiasm. Not only as it shines through in the text, but the enthusiasm that led to not one, not two, but seven (7!) Goodreads giveaways, getting this foundational work onto hundreds of e-readers. Not mine though. I was not a winner.
**************************
IMPORTANT REVIEW UPDATE - THE BOOK'S SECOND EDITION IS NOW AVAILABLE!
Although it's been months since I bought it, my Kindle library still isn't presenting me with the updated e-book version, but at least the preview pages on Amazon reflect the new material. Here are the important changes:
1. New cover art and map. Great!
2. "Character Development and Descriptions: [. . .] To enhance the reading experience, physical features were placed strategically throughout the book to provide vivid descriptions. Pronunciations were assigned to characters as they were introduced, ensuring clarity and resonance." Exactly what it needed.
3. "Narrative Enhancement: The book's content has been thoughtfully edited to transition into a compelling narrative style, enhancing the flow and readability of the story. This crucial step marks the final read-through to ensure proper grammar, punctuation, and coherence." Finally, some coherence! What this actually means: spending $833 on Goodreads giveaways yielded enough reviews to act as crowdsourced editing, informing the author that the first version was written more like a screenplay than a novel. In fairness, how could he have known, never having read a novel before?
4. Retention of the original edition. I am honestly relieved, because the original version gave me so much pleasure, I would hate to lose access to it by updating the e-book.
Of course, what everyone is anxiously wondering is, does a ninja lord still shit in the woods?
Lol. Oh good news: the whole thing is still printed in bold type. Let's circle back to the start and reassess the content.
The new character descriptions are also as promised. Compare: OLD:
You, being an astute reader of reviews, notice something missing, something crucial: what even is her cup size? There's not a cup size listing to be found in the new edition text. How is my reading experience enhanced without these?
Of course, we're here primarily for the action. OLD:
AND NOW FOR THE AUDIOBOOK!
. . . in which I explain why I spent my one free trial Audible credit on this, (eh, there was nothing else I wanted to listen to,) and whether I actually listened to the entire 12-hour reading (yes, most of it.) The main book, the 'revised' edition, was about 6 hours, then there's 2 hours of repeating the descriptions of every single character and defining every special ability available to every character/class/clan/species, then 4 hours of the original screenplay-like edition.
Short version of the audiobook review: it's exactly what you would expect from an automated computer voice reading text that started as a Naruto-inspired script written by someone who has never voluntarily read a book and who watches way too much anime, later converted into narrative format by generative A.I.
Alternate brief audiobook review: it's indistinguishable from a text-to-voice ASMR rendition of the descriptive audio for the visually impaired of an episode of Dragon Ball Z.
Did the 'Virtual Voice' narrator do a good job? Of course not. It's a computer voice, it costs the author nothing to have Amazon produce it (except their pride and soul). It's passable in small doses, with reasonably varying intonation, but it clearly has no sense of the content. It doesn't do different voices, it doesn't know when something is supposed to be sad or intense (this led to some mildly amusing moments, like a character being extra chipper when their dad is dying), and it often pauses inappropriately after unfamiliar words, e.g. reading "Let's rescue the musokunin children," as "Let's rescue the musokunin. Children."
In this book's case, the biggest problem with the virtual narration is that it actually reads all the words that are written, which served to highlight all of the wonderfully odd parts of the original AND the generative A.I. tics. For the latter, let me simply say: resolute. Resolute, resolute, resolute. For the former, it's all about the tone. As in, each character has one tone, to match that character's one personality trait, and that tone is specified every single time they speak. "Taidana, in her lazy tone, said, ". . ."" "Taidana, in her usual lazy tone, retorted, ". . . " x 1000. Hikaru has a hot-blooded tone, as I was reminded every time he had a line. Fukitsuke has a self-spoken tone, whatever the hell that even means, something I could not decipher despite being told his tone 382 times. Nobody ever says ANYTHING without their singular tone being specified. Between that and actual characters who are actually named "Onimon minion ninja 3" and "Bandit minion 7," It's almost as if, even after using one AI to convert the text and another to read it out loud, STILL NO ONE INVOLVED IN ITS PRODUCTION HAS ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK or even listened to their own audiobook.
I note one positive: the audio got me to notice that there was actually some character relationship development, between two side characters near the end.
And good news! Through the audiobook, I learned that the female characters' cup sizes are still included in the character descriptions section! Sure, you can tell me someone's wearing a sleeveless ninja top, ninja shoes, and a basic ninja utility belt, but without that cup size I just can't picture them.
I have read the original version, part of the "revised" version, and listened to the audiobook. No one can say I haven't engaged with this work. And after all that . . . I still give it two stars: one for the outcome and another for the hustle.
If you'll indulge me, I'll open this review with the single best quote from the text:
Lord Kasai-(Kasai teleports back after defecated in the forest.) (yelling) I’m back.
What is this even? Are you ready, because I'm going to tell you.
Gankona- Get in your position, I will count down from eight then begin the match.
Fukitsuke-(yells calmly) Hibana, Ame, and Nonkina provide range support. The rest of you will be fighting with me in close combat.
Gankona-(counts) 8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0. Begin!
I'll tell you what it's not first. It's not a novel. It best approximates a screenplay for an anime. Every line starts with the name of a character, then a description of the tone that character uses in round brackets, then the dialogue, then maybe the action that character takes again in round brackets, sometimes with an explanation included in square brackets. Occasionally a narrator chimes in. He's the worst.
What is Onimon Slayers about? It's about slaying Onimon. The end, basically. At least it starts off with some good energy, an epic battle between the four ninja clan leaders and a demon lord. He's an Onimon. Onimon just means demon.
Lord Kasai-(fiercely says) Take this you demonic bastard. (Kasai shoots a black fireball at the demon lord.)
Demon Lord-(dodges the fireball with ease) Did you think that would hit me, you weak mortal.
Lord Chikyu-(looking grumpy) Look below yourself Demon Lord. (Chikyu used shinku[Earth sink] the Demon Lord becomes stuck in compact sinking metal.)
Demon Lord- You think this shit will hold me mortal. (The demon lord stabs his sword in the floor blowing it away.)
Lord Kuki-(sounding smooth) Hmm, seems that you’re foolish. (Kuki makes a tornado that spins metal to cut the demon in fragments.)
Demon Lord-(smiling) Arrgh! (The Demon Lord blows his aura at the tornado and sends the metal towards them.)
Lady Mizumi-(sounding worried) Watch out guys. (Mizumi creates a lake that falls on top of the Demon Lord and the metal.)
Demon Lord-(sounding angry) I’m done playing around with you mortals. (The Demon Lord sends a giant hell fire wave towards Lord Chikyu and Lord Kuki.)
Lord Chikyu-(in a cocky tone) I’ll handle this, Lord Kuki. (Lord Chikyu summons a giant diamond wall that the flames burn through.)
[. . .]
Demon Lord- What a shame mortal, you’re out of Dengen. (In the blink of an eye, the Demon Lord grabs Lady Mizumi by the neck from a mile away, and stabs her in the heart)
(Lord Kuki gets up after regaining his breath.) Lord Kuki-(shocked) Huh, no Mizumi this can’t be happening.
Lady Mizumi-(dying) Lord Kuki, I love you. I Just wish we could have had more time together.
Demon Lord-(smirking) So, touching. (Demon lord chops Mizumi head off and drops the body).
Lord Kuki-(angry) You will pay for this. (Lord Kuki uses his remaining Dengen to use super typhoon pressure bodi renshu, and sky wind true pressure sword. Super bodi renshu is similar to typhoon pressure bodi except the user body turns to pure pressure, the radius of the wind effects turns to a sq mile, and the wind can crush diamonds. The sky wind true pressure sword is a thousand feet long and hits with a million pounds of pressure. Lord Kuki swings the sword at the Demon Lord who blocks. The collision from the blades causes the earth to crack around them for 50 sq miles, causing wind waves in all directions.
Demon Lord- You expect to win with this crap.
And so forth. The opening battle is so epic that the rest of the, uh, assemblage of words, is kind of a let down, as after the titanic OP affair, we spend the rest of our time with mere teens in training. At least this provides opportunities for some masterful worldbuilding.
Narrator- There are 7 mission ranks F, E, D, C, B, A, and Z. F are the easiest and can be done by musokunin. E and D are the next’s easiest done by 1, or more genin. C is the middle hardest done by a chunin or eight genin. B is the next hardest done by a Soka, or a chunin with their squad. A is the next hardest done by a jonin or 4 soka. Z missions are the rarest and hardest, done by a Hanshu or by multiple jonin. Dengen is the power that allows living beings to use magic and move. The lowest rank of a group has a Dengen of under a 100 like a musokunin. The next rank group is 101 to 10,000 Dengen like the genin. The next rank has 10,001 to 1,000,000 like the chunin. The next’s group rank will be 1,000,001 Dengen to 10,000,000 like the soka. Next rank has 10,000,001 to 100,000,000 Dengen like a jonin. The leaders of groups have 100,100,001 to 10,000,000,000 like a Hanshu.
[. . .]
Narrator- As they come across a samurai guard outpost. It contains about 9 samurai guards, 1 guard is an ashigaru rank, and the other 8 are chugen. Samurai have six ranks. The lowest rank is chugen, which are mostly kids and they are allowed a samurai knife, which is a wakizashi. The fifth lowest rank is ashigaru which are similar to the strength of a genin, and are allowed 1 katana with a samurai wakizashi. The fourth lowest rank called gashiru, who are allowed 2 swords with a samurai knife. The third lowest rank called Kyunin are allowed 3 swords with a samurai knife act as a retainer for the daimyo; The second lowest rank are daimyo, which are allowed four swords and a samurai knife, they lead clans similar to the Jonin. The leader of the samurai village, shogun, is the highest rank, who has 5 swords and a samurai knife.
Remember that, now, it's vital information for the ending of—oops there's actually no ending, the author just got tired or something and decided to publish, I dunno.
And now I share with you the second best quote from the affair:
Narrator- Hikaru, Hibana, Nonkina, and Fukitsuke hear a loud explosion.
Hikaru-(curious sounding) Let’s go check out the loud explosion.
No, I don't know why the entire published thing is in bold text. It's probably because every word is just super important, okay?
There's a trend here that I can't quite grab. See if you can get a feel for it:
Muzimi clan leader is 23 years old woman with a lean pear shape body, e cup chest,
[. . .]
Hibana-(innocent and whispering tone) Look at the sister that is 6’0 tall with an oval shape hair made of black hair containing visible air that goes from a little bit below her shoulder to two feet above her head is Taberu Akuma. She is 150 years old and the oldest sister. Taberu as you can see has two horns on her head, dark red eyes, light red skins and petite body, pink lips, a young looking oily face, wears a pink ninja top with belly showing, has a pink ninja skirt, ninja shoes, eyebrows in a line shape made of black hair containing visible wind coming out of the follicles , has a sheathe with a wind enchanted demon blade with the demon Lord family crest, the sword is also in vertical position, has pointy ears, has feet with claws, fingers with claws and has a c cup.
[. . .]
Narrator- A female approaches the stage. She is 5’8 with a pear shape built and a fresh-face, light pink lips, and d-cup chest her hair is blond and long wavy with grow out fringe, her skin tone is peaches and cream, green eyes, and she has thick eyebrow.
[. . .]
Narrator- The four friends each go to their homes. The next day Hibana, Hikaru, Fukitsuke, and Nonkina meets Gankona with 36 other musokunin. Gankona is 5’8 has a slim pear shape body, fresh-face, and e-cup chest.
[. . .]
Hibana- (personal description has a lean hourglass body type, snow white hair in a 4 feet ponytail. Has a d-cup chest, now 4’10, has a white handle sword and Kasai symbol on handle with a three feet white blade.
[. . .]
Taidana-(personal description- Brown skin, is 4’9, Dark brown hair that goes down her back for 3 feet, light peach lip color, she has slim spoon body type, slim soft arch eyebrows, has a fresh-faced, b-cup chest ...
[. . .]
Ame –(fair skin, blue hair in the shape of a bob, is 5’0, light pink rose lip color, has a slim spoon body type, slim arch eyebrow, fine face, has c-cup chest ...
[. . .]
Onimon soldier-(in an angry tone) You fool I am, Moretsuna, the onimon soldier. It’s time for you to learn your place. (A female onimon steps out of the shadow being about 5’5 having green skin, in a top hourglass slim muscular shape, she has a e cup chest ...
[. . .]
(The female water user- has polished brown skin, is 5’1, aqua blue hair in a bun style, light brown lips, a petite straight body type, straight thick eyebrows, a cute rosy baby-face, A-cup chest ...)
[. . .]
(Female Kasai- is light skinned, 5’0, c-cup chest, ...)
[. . .]
d-cup chest
[. . .]
c-cup chest
[. . .]
has d-cup chest
Nope, I'm still not getting the shape of it.
But I have to give a second star for sheer enthusiasm. Not only as it shines through in the text, but the enthusiasm that led to not one, not two, but seven (7!) Goodreads giveaways, getting this foundational work onto hundreds of e-readers. Not mine though. I was not a winner.
Hikaru-(wakes up and wondering tone) What happen did are team win?No, Hikaru win did not are what happen. (Go back to sleep tone) I had to read it via Kindle Unlimited.
**************************
IMPORTANT REVIEW UPDATE - THE BOOK'S SECOND EDITION IS NOW AVAILABLE!
Although it's been months since I bought it, my Kindle library still isn't presenting me with the updated e-book version, but at least the preview pages on Amazon reflect the new material. Here are the important changes:
1. New cover art and map. Great!
2. "Character Development and Descriptions: [. . .] To enhance the reading experience, physical features were placed strategically throughout the book to provide vivid descriptions. Pronunciations were assigned to characters as they were introduced, ensuring clarity and resonance." Exactly what it needed.
3. "Narrative Enhancement: The book's content has been thoughtfully edited to transition into a compelling narrative style, enhancing the flow and readability of the story. This crucial step marks the final read-through to ensure proper grammar, punctuation, and coherence." Finally, some coherence! What this actually means: spending $833 on Goodreads giveaways yielded enough reviews to act as crowdsourced editing, informing the author that the first version was written more like a screenplay than a novel. In fairness, how could he have known, never having read a novel before?
4. Retention of the original edition. I am honestly relieved, because the original version gave me so much pleasure, I would hate to lose access to it by updating the e-book.
Of course, what everyone is anxiously wondering is, does a ninja lord still shit in the woods?
Kasai, genuinely shocked at the dire turn of events, protested, "How did this happen? All I did was go to release my bodily waste. I even left a fire minion to take my place, and I was only gone a few minutes."
Chikyu, his anger and pain evident, corrected Kasai, "You were gone for 30 minutes, and your fire minion helped kill me."
Lol. Oh good news: the whole thing is still printed in bold type. Let's circle back to the start and reassess the content.
PROLOGUENope! Let's skip ahead to the first chapter.
The story starts with the prologue to the journey of . . .
In the world of Godai [goh-dahy], a realm where mortals struggled against a relentless threat known as Onimon [oh-nee-mon], the inhabitants faced . . .There are the promised pronunciation guides, ensuring clarity and resonance indeed. Especially this one:
At the heart of the Muzimi [mee-zoom-mee] clan's legacy . . .So clear. So resonant.
The new character descriptions are also as promised. Compare: OLD:
Muzimi clan leader is 23 years old woman with a lean pear shape body, e cup chest, having pale white skin, thin face, blond thin eyebrows, light pink lips, 5'8 in height, platinum blond hair in a wavy bobcut that goes slightly below the shoulders, violet color eyes.NEW:
At the heart of the Muzimi [mee-zoom-mee] clan's legacy stood a leader of unparalleled strength and poise. A twenty-three-year-old woman, she bore the mantle of leadership with a sense of purpose that radiated from her every step. Her lean, pear-shaped body embodied both grace and power, reflecting the balance that defined her clan's philosophy. Her pale white skin formed a canvas for her captivating features.Much improved, and not at all sounding like the original text was fed into a generative A.I. engine.
With a face of delicate beauty, her thin blond eyebrows and light pink lips framed her thin face. Standing tall at 5 feet and 8 inches, her presence held an air of authority that came naturally to her. Her platinum blond hair, a cascade of waves in a bob cut, danced gently below her shoulders, an expression of her personal style within the framework of her responsibilities.
Her eyes, a striking shade of violet, held depths that seemed to hold a universe of emotions. It was through those eyes that she saw the world, with each challenge and triumph etching a mark on her soul.
You, being an astute reader of reviews, notice something missing, something crucial: what even is her cup size? There's not a cup size listing to be found in the new edition text. How is my reading experience enhanced without these?
Of course, we're here primarily for the action. OLD:
Lord Kasai-(mutters while choking) No matter, I'll still beat you. (Lightning bolt renshu)(Kasai shoots a lightning bolt at the Demon Lord with his free hand that causes the demon Lord to let him go and sent Lord Kasai flying back.)NEW:
Demon Lord-(In quick angry shoots spears out his mouth at Kasai as Kasai flies back. One spear hits Kasai in the eye before he could teleport out of the way.)
Demon Lord-(grinning) What will you do now, when you only have one eye.
During the perilous situation and his choking predicament, Lord Kasai remained resolute. He muttered determinedly, "No matter, I'll still beat you." With a swift gesture, he unleashed a lightning bolt Renshu, sending a powerful surge of electricity at the Demon Lord. The shock caused the Demon Lord to release his grip on Kasai, sending the ninja flying backward.See? Better.
However, in the middle of this electrifying clash [reviewer's note: ISWYDT], the Demon Lord retaliated swiftly. He shot spears from his mouth, one of which struck Kasai directly in the eye before he could teleport to safety.
With a triumphant grin, the Demon Lord taunted, "What will you do now, when you only have one eye?"
AND NOW FOR THE AUDIOBOOK!
. . . in which I explain why I spent my one free trial Audible credit on this, (eh, there was nothing else I wanted to listen to,) and whether I actually listened to the entire 12-hour reading (yes, most of it.) The main book, the 'revised' edition, was about 6 hours, then there's 2 hours of repeating the descriptions of every single character and defining every special ability available to every character/class/clan/species, then 4 hours of the original screenplay-like edition.
Short version of the audiobook review: it's exactly what you would expect from an automated computer voice reading text that started as a Naruto-inspired script written by someone who has never voluntarily read a book and who watches way too much anime, later converted into narrative format by generative A.I.
Alternate brief audiobook review: it's indistinguishable from a text-to-voice ASMR rendition of the descriptive audio for the visually impaired of an episode of Dragon Ball Z.
Did the 'Virtual Voice' narrator do a good job? Of course not. It's a computer voice, it costs the author nothing to have Amazon produce it (except their pride and soul). It's passable in small doses, with reasonably varying intonation, but it clearly has no sense of the content. It doesn't do different voices, it doesn't know when something is supposed to be sad or intense (this led to some mildly amusing moments, like a character being extra chipper when their dad is dying), and it often pauses inappropriately after unfamiliar words, e.g. reading "Let's rescue the musokunin children," as "Let's rescue the musokunin. Children."
In this book's case, the biggest problem with the virtual narration is that it actually reads all the words that are written, which served to highlight all of the wonderfully odd parts of the original AND the generative A.I. tics. For the latter, let me simply say: resolute. Resolute, resolute, resolute. For the former, it's all about the tone. As in, each character has one tone, to match that character's one personality trait, and that tone is specified every single time they speak. "Taidana, in her lazy tone, said, ". . ."" "Taidana, in her usual lazy tone, retorted, ". . . " x 1000. Hikaru has a hot-blooded tone, as I was reminded every time he had a line. Fukitsuke has a self-spoken tone, whatever the hell that even means, something I could not decipher despite being told his tone 382 times. Nobody ever says ANYTHING without their singular tone being specified. Between that and actual characters who are actually named "Onimon minion ninja 3" and "Bandit minion 7," It's almost as if, even after using one AI to convert the text and another to read it out loud, STILL NO ONE INVOLVED IN ITS PRODUCTION HAS ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK or even listened to their own audiobook.
I note one positive: the audio got me to notice that there was actually some character relationship development, between two side characters near the end.
And good news! Through the audiobook, I learned that the female characters' cup sizes are still included in the character descriptions section! Sure, you can tell me someone's wearing a sleeveless ninja top, ninja shoes, and a basic ninja utility belt, but without that cup size I just can't picture them.
I have read the original version, part of the "revised" version, and listened to the audiobook. No one can say I haven't engaged with this work. And after all that . . . I still give it two stars: one for the outcome and another for the hustle.
July 1, 2023
Okay. Listen. We know I hate giving low ratings. We know I hate not finishing a book. But I’m on like page 3 and he’s telling me one of these allegedly amazing ninjas has E cup breasts. I’m out!
This was self published and definitely written by someone who isn't a native English speaker. Perhaps there is a decent story here that a good editor could tease out.
PS I won this in a giveaway
This was self published and definitely written by someone who isn't a native English speaker. Perhaps there is a decent story here that a good editor could tease out.
PS I won this in a giveaway
March 21, 2024
This is a fast-paced tale filled with action and combat, heavily influenced by Japanese culture, anime, and manga. The story takes on a play-like structure, switching between the narrator and different characters, utilizing parentheses to provide details about powers, emotions, and context. It can take some time to adjust to this writing style, but I found it ultimately added depth to the narrative. I particularly enjoyed reading about the challenges and battles that the group of friends must endure in order to become ninjas. The descriptions of their powers and abilities were thorough and vivid. The monstrous Onimon creatures were both intriguing and terrifying in their easy ability to kill. Fans of Naruto and other tales featuring characters with unique fighting abilities will likely find this story engaging.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 19, 2024
Fun with supernatural ninja fighting
While "Onimon Slayers #1" gets bogged down with hair/costume/special power descriptions like a play or movie script, I still enjoyed the dialogue, thoughts, and actions in this good versus evil story.
While "Onimon Slayers #1" gets bogged down with hair/costume/special power descriptions like a play or movie script, I still enjoyed the dialogue, thoughts, and actions in this good versus evil story.
May 16, 2023
Onimon Slayers: Edition 1 (Kindle Edition) by Armani Wright - honestly, I was a bit skeptical, because the cover was vague. Once, I started reading this, I was actually hooked. It was a bit like the Fantasy meets action fight of Warriors. It was fast, fun, and just an action pact. I'm not usually a fan of this type of genre, because I'm always drawn to historical fiction romance with Duke Viscount, etc, but the author chose realms of many inspirations and mash it together. I was additive because honestly I wanted to know how it end, and I was like... well when is the next book coming out?
Love it! Though took me a bit to review because I was a bit skeptical, now I'm a fan. Well written and has great imagination as well!
Love it! Though took me a bit to review because I was a bit skeptical, now I'm a fan. Well written and has great imagination as well!
June 4, 2023
This was a Goodreads Giveaway win and I appreciate being given the opportunity to explore something different.
It was not to my taste. I stumbled over the technical issues and the format was off putting. I wasn't sure if I was checking out a novel rough draft, a screenplay, or a D&D type campaign recorded as it happened.
I was confused with the mixing of samurai, ninja, and avatar references.
The author describes things but may not have thought about what it would look like if drawn. Characters are 6 and 7 feet tall blowing holes into the earth miles deep and across while fighting a demon. They have diamonds woven into their clothing like thread. And why does a female warrior have big breasts and a 'ninja skirt' and crop top.
It will be interesting to see how this shapes up with editing.
It was not to my taste. I stumbled over the technical issues and the format was off putting. I wasn't sure if I was checking out a novel rough draft, a screenplay, or a D&D type campaign recorded as it happened.
I was confused with the mixing of samurai, ninja, and avatar references.
The author describes things but may not have thought about what it would look like if drawn. Characters are 6 and 7 feet tall blowing holes into the earth miles deep and across while fighting a demon. They have diamonds woven into their clothing like thread. And why does a female warrior have big breasts and a 'ninja skirt' and crop top.
It will be interesting to see how this shapes up with editing.
June 17, 2023
The characters were cool, and the plot was good. I don't really have anything to complain about. I didn't hate the book but I wasn't in love with it.
May 5, 2023
Fun idea, hard to read
The idea and plot behind the book was fun and creative. That being said, the book was very hard to read. It was written more like a dialog script than as a book and the intonation descriptors with every line were very distracting. There was a lot spent on the physical descriptions of characters (height, hair color and length, body type, face feature specifics, chest size) that I feel the book could have done without. There were also a lot of grammatical and spelling errors that kept stopping me; it more had the feeling of being written by someone who wasn't very fluent in English. I would love to read it again after passing through an editor to clear up some of the language so I can better see the flow of the story.
The idea and plot behind the book was fun and creative. That being said, the book was very hard to read. It was written more like a dialog script than as a book and the intonation descriptors with every line were very distracting. There was a lot spent on the physical descriptions of characters (height, hair color and length, body type, face feature specifics, chest size) that I feel the book could have done without. There were also a lot of grammatical and spelling errors that kept stopping me; it more had the feeling of being written by someone who wasn't very fluent in English. I would love to read it again after passing through an editor to clear up some of the language so I can better see the flow of the story.
July 22, 2023
I love how great the action sounds in the book; I can't wait for it to be animated or become a movie. 🍿
The demon lord has no remorse just killed someone while they were saying there last words lmao I haven't read all of it but it's good I cant wait to finish it and find out how the twins will become onimon slayers
TOTAL 10/10
PLOT 10/10
ACTION 10/10
ADVENTURE 10/10
I would also like to mention I like the names of the moves, and styles, etc.
I don't want to say anymore but you just got to try it.
I hope this book becomes popular.
Edit 1
Some people say the book is a drag I just personally disagree the story certainly doesn't drag anything out I thought it was well paced.
The writers style was very easy to read I like the style the writer put it in. The only thing you should say the author can change is probably the color scheme I don't like the white background and black words I prefer black background and white words.
😊👍😌🏡
The demon lord has no remorse just killed someone while they were saying there last words lmao I haven't read all of it but it's good I cant wait to finish it and find out how the twins will become onimon slayers
TOTAL 10/10
PLOT 10/10
ACTION 10/10
ADVENTURE 10/10
I would also like to mention I like the names of the moves, and styles, etc.
I don't want to say anymore but you just got to try it.
I hope this book becomes popular.
Edit 1
Some people say the book is a drag I just personally disagree the story certainly doesn't drag anything out I thought it was well paced.
The writers style was very easy to read I like the style the writer put it in. The only thing you should say the author can change is probably the color scheme I don't like the white background and black words I prefer black background and white words.
😊👍😌🏡
June 28, 2023
I was confused when reading this. The script being written didn't bother me, however, I'm not exactly sure what was happening. I was confused the whole time. I did like the descriptions of the different people. It just seemed like they went from one conflict to the next with no real resolution and I'm not 100% sure why they were fighting to begin with. Maybe I didn't comprehend it. I know that this is an unfinished copy, but it really needs a lot of editing to correct the grammar. It makes it very difficult to follow. It honestly feels like ADD in book form at the moment. I do see a lot of potential, but it needs a lot of work. I think the concept is good and it could be great. I just felt tremendous anxiety trying to get through it. I would like to read it again after the editing is complete. Perhaps, if it were turned into a graphic novel that would be even more beneficial. Overall, I think it's a good start, but it's not any where close to where it needs to be.
March 31, 2024
Holy wow
OK wow! This was quite a thing
This is a lot of development and I can’t even imagine where this story is going to go. Warning, it develops slowly. I’m glad the title is the beginning because it helps you understand that there is a lot of backdrop here so I know this world is going to go a lot deeper as we get further into the series.
OK wow! This was quite a thing
This is a lot of development and I can’t even imagine where this story is going to go. Warning, it develops slowly. I’m glad the title is the beginning because it helps you understand that there is a lot of backdrop here so I know this world is going to go a lot deeper as we get further into the series.
June 2, 2023
good
This book was good. I like the book was written like a play, it’s gives a different reading experience. I glad I read it.
This book was good. I like the book was written like a play, it’s gives a different reading experience. I glad I read it.
June 16, 2023
Good read
December 21, 2023
Absolutely love it! The characters are so complex and I can't wait for more.
July 1, 2023
Onimon Slayers
This wasn’t for me. It seemed that a majority of characters were introduced with a physical description that ended in “with a c-cup” or something similar. There was no need to have that in the description. Other than that it was boring and uninteresting.
#GoodreadsGiveaways
This wasn’t for me. It seemed that a majority of characters were introduced with a physical description that ended in “with a c-cup” or something similar. There was no need to have that in the description. Other than that it was boring and uninteresting.
#GoodreadsGiveaways
October 4, 2023
This book(?) is for male anime/video game fans that aren't looking for a book but an anime script. The script-like writing format was jarring and difficult to focus on. Even the character descriptions were clunky and didn't paint a picture of believable people but of video game characters - right down to the E cup breasts (heavy sigh and eye roll)
Unfortunately I couldn't get through this book and as much as it kills me to rate any book so low I just can't give it any other rating.
Unfortunately I couldn't get through this book and as much as it kills me to rate any book so low I just can't give it any other rating.
November 24, 2024
I’m guessing the author(s) are not English as a first language people.. I think this story is written more like a video game and a play had a baby, rather than an actual book. There were sooo many errors that made the slow trickle that is this story, stutter way too much. I think if they want this to do better it needs to be heavily edited. The content wasn’t horrible but it was hard to get past all the weird descriptions; especially how almost every woman has “c-cup” or greater breasts.. like what?? Why is that in every description??
May 11, 2024
Step into a world where siblings Hikaru and Hibana are not just your average brother and sister duo—they're Oni Slayers on a mission. In this second edition of Armani Wright's gripping tale, we're treated to a revamped narrative that's as fast-paced as a ninja's strike and as captivating as an anime cliffhanger.
But let's address the elephant—or should I say, Onimon—in the room. From the get-go, you're plunged into a whirlwind of action, combat, and sibling drama, all set against the backdrop of a world teeming with monsters. Hikaru seeks revenge, while Hibana yearns for peace. Will they achieve their goals, or will they be monster chow before they can even sharpen their swords?
Now, brace yourselves for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and unexpected twists. Wright's storytelling is imaginative, with enough twists and turns to keep you guessing at every corner. The characters are as vibrant as a Shonen Jump manga, with powers and abilities that leap off the page. And don't even get me started on those monstrous Onimon—terrifying yet strangely fascinating, like a train wreck you can't look away from.
But here's the kicker—the narrative style. Switching between the narrator and different characters, and using parentheses to provide extra oomph to the story, it's like reading a play with a dash of manga flair. It might take some getting used to, but trust me, it adds a whole new dimension to the reading experience.
Fans of Naruto and all things anime will feel right at home in the world of Onimon Slayers. It's like stepping into your favorite anime series, but with a fresh twist that'll keep you hooked until the very end.
So, if you're ready to slay monsters, navigate sibling drama, and embark on an epic adventure, then grab your swords and dive headfirst into Onimon Slayers. Just be prepared for a wild ride that'll leave you craving the next installment faster than you can say, "Konnichiwa!"
But let's address the elephant—or should I say, Onimon—in the room. From the get-go, you're plunged into a whirlwind of action, combat, and sibling drama, all set against the backdrop of a world teeming with monsters. Hikaru seeks revenge, while Hibana yearns for peace. Will they achieve their goals, or will they be monster chow before they can even sharpen their swords?
Now, brace yourselves for a rollercoaster ride of emotions and unexpected twists. Wright's storytelling is imaginative, with enough twists and turns to keep you guessing at every corner. The characters are as vibrant as a Shonen Jump manga, with powers and abilities that leap off the page. And don't even get me started on those monstrous Onimon—terrifying yet strangely fascinating, like a train wreck you can't look away from.
But here's the kicker—the narrative style. Switching between the narrator and different characters, and using parentheses to provide extra oomph to the story, it's like reading a play with a dash of manga flair. It might take some getting used to, but trust me, it adds a whole new dimension to the reading experience.
Fans of Naruto and all things anime will feel right at home in the world of Onimon Slayers. It's like stepping into your favorite anime series, but with a fresh twist that'll keep you hooked until the very end.
So, if you're ready to slay monsters, navigate sibling drama, and embark on an epic adventure, then grab your swords and dive headfirst into Onimon Slayers. Just be prepared for a wild ride that'll leave you craving the next installment faster than you can say, "Konnichiwa!"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 20, 2023
the style of writing is interesting and reads more like a movie script rather than a novel. There are plenty of books out there in that style so it made for interesting reading. I like seeing a writer find his own style and don't consider it a flaw if they deviate from the norm. Cormac McCarthy uses very little punctuation and attribution and his novels are best sellers.
However, an editor would really have helped with the typos (i.e. Using "are" instead of "our" and "they're" instead of "their") and other general shortcomings, i.e. "dark white", and "pale white" could use some more explanation. Does the author mean they are Caucasian with a darker skin tone? Or does "dark white" mean a gray skin tone?
The descriptions of each ninja were told to the reader rather than shown. I would really recommend writing classes, preferably creative writing classes. The more practice a writer has, the better his work will become. I think this author should continue writing. He just needs more practice in a setting that will help him iron out some basics.
I'd like to see this in graphic novel if possible. I think the "telling" vs "showing" would have absolutely worked in a graphic novel setting.
on a personal note: As a reader, I don't need to know what cup size a woman wears. Again that might be helpful for the artist but not me.
However, an editor would really have helped with the typos (i.e. Using "are" instead of "our" and "they're" instead of "their") and other general shortcomings, i.e. "dark white", and "pale white" could use some more explanation. Does the author mean they are Caucasian with a darker skin tone? Or does "dark white" mean a gray skin tone?
The descriptions of each ninja were told to the reader rather than shown. I would really recommend writing classes, preferably creative writing classes. The more practice a writer has, the better his work will become. I think this author should continue writing. He just needs more practice in a setting that will help him iron out some basics.
I'd like to see this in graphic novel if possible. I think the "telling" vs "showing" would have absolutely worked in a graphic novel setting.
on a personal note: As a reader, I don't need to know what cup size a woman wears. Again that might be helpful for the artist but not me.
June 21, 2023
Great concept delivered poorly
I wanted to read this book because the concept sounded great. Though I was not disappointed in this aspect, I was not an overall fan of the book for a few reasons. First, there were a ton of grammar and spelling errors. For me, these kinds of errors in a book make me lose some of the enjoyment of reading the book because I spend the whole time correcting the grammar and spelling while I'm reading. In addition, I felt like the book started right in the middle of a story, which was confusing at times to follow. There were also many characters added throughout the book in which their name and what "team" they were fighting for were mentioned once before massive amounts of dialogue, which only referred to the new characters by name. It made it very hard to follow who to "root for" and who to "boo" when they got a good hit against their opponent. The style seemed to be written in a play format with bits of video game statements about increasing damage points with a specific move. Last, a lot of the definitions of some of the terms the author uses, which werespecific to the realm the author created, weren't defined until almost the end of the story. This book also ends in a cliffhanger- which also, personally, perturbs me.
I won this book through a goodreads.com giveaway.
I wanted to read this book because the concept sounded great. Though I was not disappointed in this aspect, I was not an overall fan of the book for a few reasons. First, there were a ton of grammar and spelling errors. For me, these kinds of errors in a book make me lose some of the enjoyment of reading the book because I spend the whole time correcting the grammar and spelling while I'm reading. In addition, I felt like the book started right in the middle of a story, which was confusing at times to follow. There were also many characters added throughout the book in which their name and what "team" they were fighting for were mentioned once before massive amounts of dialogue, which only referred to the new characters by name. It made it very hard to follow who to "root for" and who to "boo" when they got a good hit against their opponent. The style seemed to be written in a play format with bits of video game statements about increasing damage points with a specific move. Last, a lot of the definitions of some of the terms the author uses, which werespecific to the realm the author created, weren't defined until almost the end of the story. This book also ends in a cliffhanger- which also, personally, perturbs me.
I won this book through a goodreads.com giveaway.
July 12, 2023
I would say Onimon Slayer was not something I would have chosen for myself. I did win it in a giveaway, and I like to give all giveaway books a chance.
Onimon Slayer is written like a play or a written rough draft to a comic (maybe). It was really hard for me to get through because of the unique formatting style. As this review is my own personal opinion, I will say if you like Play-styled(?) writing and high fantasy in a manga/anime type setting, you will enjoy this book.
As well, it spent a long time on describing the characters and what they looked like. Playbooks will sometimes give small descriptors of important characters but leave the rest to the imagination of the audience. I think the book could have benefited by being written more like a play. It would've made it easier to read and could even give the author the ability to advertise it as a play/script or something of the like.
Onimon Slayer is written like a play or a written rough draft to a comic (maybe). It was really hard for me to get through because of the unique formatting style. As this review is my own personal opinion, I will say if you like Play-styled(?) writing and high fantasy in a manga/anime type setting, you will enjoy this book.
As well, it spent a long time on describing the characters and what they looked like. Playbooks will sometimes give small descriptors of important characters but leave the rest to the imagination of the audience. I think the book could have benefited by being written more like a play. It would've made it easier to read and could even give the author the ability to advertise it as a play/script or something of the like.
April 6, 2023
Not For Me
This isn’t the type of book I would typically read, but for some reason I had to finish it. I needed to know how it was going to end. There were times I was really into the book, then there were times where it seemed to drag. The story gave me Naruto vibes so my mind pictured them as I was reading.
The author’s writing style made it difficult for me to read and I found myself rereading multiple parts of the book. I ended up using Amazon Alexa to read it for me and it made it much easier for me to understand.
I think the writing style is what did it for me. The book was written like a play and too many parentheses were used. If it were written in another style I might have been a bit more like invested.
This isn’t the type of book I would typically read, but for some reason I had to finish it. I needed to know how it was going to end. There were times I was really into the book, then there were times where it seemed to drag. The story gave me Naruto vibes so my mind pictured them as I was reading.
The author’s writing style made it difficult for me to read and I found myself rereading multiple parts of the book. I ended up using Amazon Alexa to read it for me and it made it much easier for me to understand.
I think the writing style is what did it for me. The book was written like a play and too many parentheses were used. If it were written in another style I might have been a bit more like invested.
June 24, 2023
I tried, but it was difficult for me to read.
I read about 40 pages, and then I can't anymore.
I get it is a fantasy world with demons and immortals.
There are several typing errors, and the narration way is just long and makes it look like a play, not a story.
The writer needs first to improve their writing skills, proofread the script, and learn to make it precise and realistic. It is not realistic that in the middle of an attack, the people will talk calmly or that they will describe to another someone till the minute details of what their eyes look like.
Too many details at the beginning of the story got me lost, too.
I read about 40 pages, and then I can't anymore.
I get it is a fantasy world with demons and immortals.
There are several typing errors, and the narration way is just long and makes it look like a play, not a story.
The writer needs first to improve their writing skills, proofread the script, and learn to make it precise and realistic. It is not realistic that in the middle of an attack, the people will talk calmly or that they will describe to another someone till the minute details of what their eyes look like.
Too many details at the beginning of the story got me lost, too.
April 10, 2024
Very imaginative story but difficult to follow unless you have a "gamer" background. Multi-lands; multi-characters; multi-fighting techniques; multi-weapons; multi-powers; multi-enemies; and, multi-twists and turns. Reading this story was like someone trying to explain a ninja-style video game, its character backgrounds and each of their weapons and powers.
May 25, 2023
The descriptions and world building are great. Of you are a fan of anime, this book would be perfect for you. Unfortunately, that is a genre that I’m not much interested in. But I don’t want to give a bad review simply because the book is something I wouldn’t normally read.
July 19, 2023
I got a copy of this through a Goodreads giveaway and was very hopeful at first. But I couldn’t get into the writing style. It felt a bit choppy, and I wish there was more world building. I ended up moving this book to my DNF list.
May 26, 2023
The premise was really interesting but the execution was lacking. This book was all telling, no showing. There was no creative imagining allowed the reader and overall it was disappointing.
July 3, 2023
Good book!
July 5, 2023
The best
Don't judge a book by its cover, it applies to this book. I read the book in two days. It was really interesting. Fantasy is my favorite genre.
Don't judge a book by its cover, it applies to this book. I read the book in two days. It was really interesting. Fantasy is my favorite genre.
December 5, 2023
Poorly written Read like a RPG card game
I could not tell you what I read. It was more like someone describing a card game or video game activity.
I could not tell you what I read. It was more like someone describing a card game or video game activity.
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