I'm Not Broken: Surviving the House of Demons

by Jessica Reale

Her body is thawing, and the smell of death is oozing from her. I want to be sick, but I say nothing. I watch like I was told. Good girls, listen. I want to rub my legs clean; I want a shower. Startled when my mom announced she was done. I finally see. Even though I was watching, I did not truly see. I say nothing. I sit and watch. Wishing for heaven too.
Survival is all I can think of, I must do as they say, or I will be next. I am trying to be strong but failing many times. Will I leave the summer alive? will I get to start 8th Grade? I was finally able to tell on my parents. Now I am traveling in the foster care system. I await trial. I am scared, but I will testify against them. For Alexia’s memory. She deserves at least that much from me, as I failed her in many ways. Now I spend the next few years navigating life with no family.
Will I become a happy, successful adult, or will I end up a failure and worthless like my mother always said I would…

Trigger warning, child abuse, death

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction

312 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 18, 2023

Reviews

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intriguing but hard to read

This is an intriguing story and though a good read, the grammatical and punctuation mistakes and errors makes this book tough to follow.

[Ebony Jerome · Rating 3 out of 5]

I "met" Jessica in a Facebook true crime group. She's spoken openly about her past, about having to attend her parents' parole hearings to give victim statements to keep them in prison. I knew I needed to read this book, since it is too much to expect her to detail everything in a Facebook group. This is Jessica's first-hand account of the abuse suffered under the hands of her parents, and the murder of her little sister. Her story is heartbreaking and details the failures of a system that is supposed to help troubled kids. Her perseverance and strength is admirable, as is her determination not to become another statistic.

I gave this 3 stars due to the writing. I don't think there was an editor. This book is written like a child's diary. There are many grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors. It jumps from past tense to present tense, sometimes in the same sentence. The many run-on sentences and sentence fragments made it sometimes hard to follow. It is also very repetitive. There were several people she begins mentioning, without introduction. This gets confusing - who is this person and where did she come from?

Despite the formatting of the book, I definitely recommend reading it.

[Regina Jarsak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story but Jessica is inspiring in so many ways.

This story is heartwrenching and as a writer I know how difficult it is to dig deep into those memories. Even after her horrible childhood and her sister being murdered Jessica has worked so hard to be a good person and break the cycle of abuse. Anyone who has ever felt hopeless or like their past is dragging them down should read this book. I love how even after she replays all the difficult memories in her life, the last chapter is her giving hope to others. She is still taking care of others as much as she can, just like she did her sister.

[Carli Zamarripa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually had Jessica (the author) in my 6th grade class. I remember how quiet, shy, and miserable she was. I of course had no idea what was happening to her at her home. She finally confided in a teacher in the 8th grade of the abuse and torture she was enduring at home. When I saw she had written a book I knew I had to read it. The book definitely needed an editor. There is a massive amount of grammatical/ spelling errors but the story itself needed to be told. I’m happy to know she survived and has a family of her own now. I hope she continues to know peace and happiness. She definitely deserves it.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started and finished this one in one sitting. The horror that Jessica, Alexia, and Chad experienced was nothing short of horrendous. This book is gut wrenching and tear inducing, but is also a show of Jessica’s remarkable strength. I would absolutely recommend this to someone

My issue with this book is that there is an absurd amount of spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. There are so many run on sentences that it becomes challenging to follow at times. There is consistent jumping between past and present tense when discussing Jessica’s childhood and teen years. It’s also challenging at times to follow who people are, as she frequently mentioned/changed names without directly acknowledging it. For instance, she referred to her mother as her mother for much of the story before beginning to call her Barbara, and did the same with Mrs. Cooper/Tami. As you read on, you’re able to put together who is who but there were a few times I had to go back to see if I missed something

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

a True Survivor! Broke the Cycle

Wow! This is a well written book that somebody can break the cycle of the most horrific abuse imaginable to a child. Jessica is and should be proud of the family she built, the business she built and the person she is. Although, it is sad that Alexia is not with us, I do hope readers remember this child that lost her life so tragically. I think we owe that to Jessica as a society.. thank you, Jessica, for sharing your story. Anyone who ever feels sorry for themselves better think again there is always better out there and the better you to be.

[Naomi F · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oof. I read this book after listening to the story on Sword and Scale podcast.
I read some reviews beforehand that said this book was full of grammatical errors. Boy, they weren't wrong. So many errors. SO. MANY. ERRORS. This book felt like it was a diary written by a 12 year old. So many pointless fillers. Lots of random names and people. It was like a long, drawn out autobiography. I thought there would be some more stories pertaining to the abuse as a child, but turns out Sword and Scale did an excellent job of covering all that so there wasn't really anything different in the book. Sad story for sure... just not a well written book at all.

[Toni Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking

This book was written by a survivor, that's all I can call Jessica. The pain and tragedy that she went through at such a young age was heartbreaking but reading about her life and what she has accomplished is breathtaking. I hope Jessica sees this post and knows that no matter what happens from here on out that she is an incredibly strong person and I pray neither Barbra or Larry ever see the outside world. I believe that the punishment that they have gotten is not nearly enough for what the two of them did. Jessica I pray for you and your family

[Ashlynn Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t hear about this story until I saw Jessica, the author herself, post about it on a Facebook group, so I immediately ran and started to read through it. This is probably the most heartbreaking book I’ve ever read. If you consider reading this, please note that there are a variety of trigger warnings including child death, abuse, sexual assault on a minor, drugs, foster care, animal abuse, & animal death. This is such a well-written book, and I hope that sweet Alexia rests in peace, and will forever be separated from those monsters. I hope that Jessica will somehow have peace someday.

[Ana · Rating 5 out of 5]

An emotional read

I found this book after the author posted on a Facebook group. I was not familiar with the crime but wanted to find out more about it so I read the book. The first few chapters were very emotionally hard to read and I wanted to stop but I continue because I wanted to know what happened to Jessica and her sister and what let to Jessica becoming the person she is now. I am glad I continue and I recommend this book to anyone.

[Ang Higley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking

I couldn't stop reading this. Jessica I saw your post about your story in a true crime Facebook group. I'm truly devastated for what happened to you and Alexia. I'm so happy that you were able to survive that and have children and a life that you wanted. Truly amazing how are you were able to break the cycle and achieve the things that you have in your life despite what life threw at you while you were young. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

[Laine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jessica's book is almost like a journal detailing her experiences throughout her life, including witnessing her sister Alexia's murder and dismemberment, surviving through the criminal trial of her mother and stepfather, and growing up in a broken foster care system. I couldn't put it down. She painted a visceral picture of the horrific events she lived through, and it is an incredibly powerful and important story of surviving childhood trauma and still managing to flourish.

[Michael Steele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Teachers do mandated reporter trainings every year. Reale’s story shows why, and her memoir achieves what those trainings never do: urgently remind us that we must be prepared to act in support of every child in our classroom.

This is a remarkable, moving story of survival that offers insight to worlds and systems I have been fortunate to never navigate. I don’t know the author, but I too feel proud of all that she has accomplished.

[Kristi Kress · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up in Elk Grove at the same time this story happened, this story was one I had known previously. I did not know in such detail what had happened. It is a good quick read. I read it all on a four and half hour flight. I am no spelling or punctuation expert, but the punctuation and spelling errors were enough for me to go back and check who published it.

What the book gives you is hope. Hope that things can change, and will if you work for them. A great inspiration.

[Ashley Yoder · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book after listening to episode 259 of sword and scale. While the story is excellent, had I not heard the story on the podcast I would have likely given up reading early on as there are substantial typos and character introductions without context throughout.
This is an important story and I’ll be placing this in my little library at work. I do wish there would have been some more peer review prior to publishing.

[Rachel Boni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!

This story of survival is absolutely incredible. What the author went through and is still fighting to keep her sister, a victim too, alive is beyond amazing. I hope she keeps living her best life and nothing but love and happiness are her future. I definitely recommend reading her story, it is life changing.

[ashlin.reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heard Jessica’s story on a podcast and had to read the book to follow it. Such a heartbreaking story. She is such a strong person to come back from the trauma she experienced. So many people failed in her so many situations but she was able to push through and give herself and her children a good life.

[Peggy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many grammatical errors but the story is decent. This poor girl survived horrors and thrived without help to become successful in personal and professional life. She should be proud. Alexia would be proud.

[Lacey Riechers · Rating 5 out of 5]

rest in peace Alexia

This book was hard to read as a mother. I love my children and couldn’t ever imagine doing to them what Barbara did to her children. Congratulations Jessica on not letting the cycle continue and for accomplishing so much despite her.

[Maggie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire the bravery and resilience of the author. What she experienced is horrible and her strength who ex through. That being said, the writing is not skilled and at times confusing as it jumps from past to present tense within single events.

[Shala Blake · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story broke my heart! I listened to a podcast about her story and instantly downloaded the book. I am so sorry for everything you had to experience it so happy with your outcome! You are the best example of resilience

[Mark Bagley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking but Triumphant as well

This is a heart rending account of the severe abuse suffered by two innocent children born into a home ran by a demon named mom.

May be triggering for anyone who has suffered abuse.

[Ascension Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Survival

This book was very hard to put down. Its incredible what she went through and don't blame her for her stance on Barbara s parole.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving and raw

Incredible story by an incredible woman! Jessica has more strength than many of us could fathom. Rest in peace dear Alexia.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author relates her harrowing life with an abusive, cruel mother and her poor choices in men. Took off a star for all the errors, misspellings, etc. A good editing would make this a 5 star read.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!! JUST WOW!!

This is a great book. Tear jerker but couldn't put it down. I truly believe Alexis is proud of you and one glorious day y'all will meet again ❤️

[Anastasia Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was heart breaking. It truly shows you how messed up the system is but she was able to pull herself out of the trenches. Ended the book with goosebumps.

[Amber N. Crandall · Rating 5 out of 5]

demons for sure

There were demons in that house for sure!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being vulnerable with us readers.

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting. It’s super detailed and it was good, however, I couldn’t get past the grammar errors and spelling mistakes.

[William Fung · Rating 5 out of 5]

A raw, unflinching memoir of unimaginable trauma and hard-won resilience, told with searing honesty and quiet strength.