Obsession: A journalist and victim-survivor’s investigation into stalking

by Nicole Madigan

A gripping blend of memoir, investigation and expert analysis, Obsession takes a deep dive into the disturbing phenomenon of stalking.

Journalist Nicole Madigan was stalked for over three years. The relentless and debilitating experience wreaked havoc in her personal and professional life, leaving her trapped in a constant state of fear and anxiety.

Nicole uses her own story as an entry point to examine the psychology behind stalking behaviours and their impact on victim-survivors. Whether by a stranger, acquaintance or former partner, stalking can have a devastating effect on a victim-survivor’s mental, social and financial wellbeing. At its worst, it can lead to physical violence, even death.

In this timely and compelling enquiry, Madigan explores the blurred lines between romantic interest and obsession, admiration and fixation. Through expert consultation and the personal stories of other victim-survivors, she analyses society’s attitude towards stalking and its role in popular culture, while highlighting the failings of the legal system in protecting victims.

Genres: Nonfiction, True Crime, Audiobook, Memoir, Crime, Psychology

288 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 2, 2023

About the author

Nicole Madigan is a journalist, and author of Obsession: a journalist and victim-survivor's investigation into stalking.

Reviews

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a terrifying account of the authors ordeal. Expertly written and at times I forgot that I was reading a true account of events, which made this book even more compelling. What a brave decision to just say no, I’ve had enough and take it to the police. This can’t have been easy and I applaud her for that courage.
The research was very detailed and the telling of other victims accounts of crime against them was really insightful.
Thank you for this book. Thank you for having the courage and bravery to write it.
Highly recommend.

[Cath · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good story but unfortunately the actual story only took up half the book which was disappointing. The rest of the book is facts about stalking which was tooooo long and I was bored reading it. That’s why it only got 3 stars in my eyes.

[Camila - Books Through My Veins · Rating 4 out of 5]

- thanks to @panterapress for a #gifted copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion

When I heard about Obsession, I ran to get my hands on a copy. I had the best intentions to read it before meeting Nicole and hearing her talk about it at the Sydney lunch at @betterreadbookshop, but when the time came, I had not been able to read much of it. Hearing Nicole talking about her experience was entirely enthralling, and it was an utter pleasure to meet her in person and get my book signed. After that, I had the best possible encouragement to make room for Obsession. And I am so glad I did.

Reading Nicole's story was a humbling, eye-opener experience. It forced me to think deeply about my ideas about stalking, but, most of all, it made me consider the power of language. I cannot pinpoint precisely when, but it has been a few years since the term 'stalking' entered our everyday life, yet most of us do not grasp the seriousness of the term and what it means to be stalked. For this, I am thankful to people like Nicole, that sacrifice privacy for the greater good. Because, how can we change something if we do not talk about it? Especially if those conversations are confronting and make us uncomfortable?

I really liked how the book was structured: a precise balance between Nicole's personal story and research around stalking. There is much information about different types of stalking and the realistic legal procedures that can be pursued against a stalker. On this, Nicole does not sugar-coat anything. I was equally angry and sad at the dismissiveness she faced and the social biases that influence us to diminish the dangers of stalking... or even joke about it.

Although Obsession is full of content and food for thought, it was a super fast-paced and easy read, thanks to straightforward and accessible writing. There are no excuses not to pick up this book.

Overall, Obsession is a crucial read to understand the world we live in. Embedded in Nicole's vulnerability and intelligence, it is the perfect option to learn about stalking. 100% recommended.

[Maegan McFall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Obsession

Thank you so much @bynicolemadigan for sending me a copy of ‘Obsession’. Another heavy subject matter and I would like to state that I won’t be including a rating because it is irrelevant, every single story in this books including Nicole’s matters and is important.

‘Obsession’ is an in depth look into stalking and the impacts on the victim and those around them. This book taught me so much and I was horrified, I was familiar with how lax the law were surround the subject of cyber bullying and have taken an interest in the progress of these laws but I never realised that stalking laws were almost nonexistent as well. I didn’t realise until I started reading that I remembered Nicole’s story from a media article I read a couple of weeks ago and I was just as horrified.

From Nicole’s personal account, the stories from other victim-survivors and the expertise from professionals in these fields, this book incredibly important for everyone. This book will have a huge impact on victims and the validation it will bring to their experiences will be life changing.

[Belle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine fearing for your life, only for the police to tell you there is nothing they can do to help you.

Laws need to change. The police and the law must be held accountable and be allowed the resources necessary to protect all victims of stalking.

This book talks about all forms of stalking and both male/female predators and victims.

*Free e-arc received via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars. I enjoyed the true story of the author the most. What she went through from her husband’s ex was horrible.
It was a little less interesting to me when it switched over to facts about stalking, but it is an informative book and I did enjoy reading some of the cases she discussed. (Enjoyed always seems to wrong choice of word for these type of stories).

[Alma G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whoa. This was incredibly eye opening and disturbing.

[Kathryn Caraway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very clear and concise writing with the first part of the book revealing the author's personal experience with stalking and the rest delving into the psychology behind stalking personalities. It is a very easy read, more fast paced through the author's personal experience.

Personally, I struggled with the psychological aspects the book discussed. I've had a personal experience with stalking and don't really care to understand the psychological elements of stalkers. It doesn't give them the right to stalk and torment others, in my personal opinion. That said, I found myself shaking my head in agreement with the experts the author interviewed for the book.

I really enjoyed the writing style, as well. It was comfortable, easy to read and engaging. The author does a good job of "showing" instead of telling throughout her personal experience but reverts to a journalistic style of writing, which I greatly appreciated. She's not claiming to be the subject matter expert, but is sharing her findings in her quest for knowledge.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is interested in true crime and/or stalking.

[Jess M · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a really good page turner. It also opened my eyes to the under reporting and the lack of resources and training surrounding stalking.

My only wish is that the author put more of her own story into it. More detail I suppose. Even more detail of what happened with Kassie and the ex.

I’m glad she shared the victim impact statement. It was very powerful.

I do hope they are able to move on in life and put this completely behind them. But will that ever really happen. It will always be on (authors) mind.

A great read and very informative.

[Felicity Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent work Nicole! About time stalking and obsession are highlighted to law enforcement agencies and the general public. To anyone who does not understand the effects of long term stalking read Nicole's book. Thankyou for taking the time to write it. Hopefully this will bring change and understanding.

[Clare Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating

Well written honest account, bringing attention to an under rated crime & the distress it causes

Thank you for this

[Emily Randolph-Epstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling read that mixes a personal account of stalking with well researched data.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely gripping and sadly showing how far we are yet to go in defending and prosecuting people in regards to stalking. It seems so obvious that what is happening is a crime, yet the law just doesn't see it that way, apparently.

[Kristyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrifying

[Steven Myrteza · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gripping read. Thank you much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you went through.

[Bianca Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly written and researched, extremely descriptive with her words and feelings as to how the entire ordeal played out. I enjoyed the chapters of other victims too, including all the ways in which someone can be stalked. Highly recommend!!

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important read. A truly unique insight into stalking from the victim-survivor pov. One I haven't come across. It's really open my eyes to the extent and nature of such a horrible crime.
I appreciate all the first-person stories that are woven into the author's own experience.

There is no doubt of the need for greater law reform, specialised education and better engagement by police. I would suggest that the current lack of adequate police support isn't out of disinterest but really stemming from the need for the themes above, in addition to a very stretched case load.

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Venessa Johnstone · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book , clear and well written.. stories i could relate to in the way some of them were handled.. Fast read.. Well done Nicole..

[Cass Moriarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nicole Madigan is an investigative journalist and writer, and her book Obsession: A journalist and victim-survivor’s investigation into stalking (Pantera Press 2023) is an absolutely unputdownable non-fiction book that reads with the page-turning suspense of a novel but is scaffolded by statistics, real cases and information about police and legal procedures. This is Madigan’s personal story, but she has widened her examination of this subject to include media reports, police action (or inaction), legal avenues, legislative changes, case studies, the effects of stalking on victim-survivors and even the perspective of a stalker who spoke openly about his experience. This is a book that will open your eyes, or – if you are a victim-survivor yourself – validate your emotions.

Madigan explores lives that have been dismantled by the relentless pursuit of the obsessed, causing fear, torment, anxiety and helplessness, often exacerbated by being dismissed or disbelieved by the police, the justice system, society and even friends and family. She investigates what drives perpetrators to torment others. The book contains traumatic themes including rape, suicide and mental illness and a warning that this may be distressing.

But it is also ultimately a book of hope for change, validation, understanding and justice.

As with a fictional novel, it would be a spoiler to divulge too much detail about Madigan’s own case. Her experience is threaded throughout the book, interspersed with other information which supports her own difficulties. I will say that the stalking began when she was particularly vulnerable during the breakdown of her marriage of 12 years, and that – certainly surprisingly to me – it was a female stalker that wreaked havoc in her life. This person exhibited just about every single behaviour that we read about in the media, which resulted in Madigan feeling every debilitating emotion that we also read about. Because she has personalised the experience – in chilling, abhorrent, disgusting, frightening detail – and then connected that to the experiences of others, the result is a horrifying account of the toll a stalker can inflict. But because we are also allowed to read the end of her story, we are shown the changing reactions to stalking, and a glimpse of hope and empowerment.

Obsession is a beautifully written story that explores a traumatic subject with grace, dignity, honesty, vulnerability and a determination for change.

Obsession opens with some myths and mistaken beliefs about stalking, the rates of reported stalking versus arrests and convictions (and the addition of unreported stalking). She begins her own story; she tells of her anger, shock, fear, sadness and impotence as a result of the vulgarities, obscene language, lies and threats to which she was subjected. She confronts what all victim-survivors must face: if I ignore them, will they get bored and go away? If I report them, will that aggravate the situation? How far am I prepared to let this go? Am I overreacting or underreacting? Stalking ruins lives, reputations (both personal and professional), threatens physical safety and endangers mental and emotional wellbeing. Why should MY personal life – my interests, my job, my social media contacts, my daily activities – be changed; isn’t it right that the perpetrator must suffer consequences, rather than me altering my life?

The multiple behaviours that fit the stalking profile include continuous contact, approaching family and friends, public defamation and the spreading of lies. The difficulty is that we care about what people think, and so are therefore less likely to report problematic behaviour for fear of embarrassment, shame or being accused of overreacting. Self-esteem plummets when our appearance, our partner, our family and our interests are constantly attacked and belittled. The immense relief of finding out that the stalker is a serial offender (they have similarly abused others) or that other people have suffered similar stalking experiences is tempered by the fact that the offence continues to occur, and that it is so incredibly difficult to do anything about it. The humiliation, the anxiety of receiving hundreds of posts or hashtags or letters or phone calls or even direct contact, is debilitating.

Some people, such as Clementine Ford, have responded by openly naming and shaming offenders and calling them out publicly for their behaviour, but does the potential downside of this outweigh the benefits? Erin Molan campaigned for legislative change regarding online bullying and trolling. Others such as Ginger Gorman, Bri Lee, Jess Hill, Grace Tame and Stephanie Wood exposed ‘dark secrets with searing honesty by examining all perspectives’, a commitment which Madigan found ‘profoundly important’.

Madigan refers to research such as that by Professor Paul Mullen, who has studied stalking for over 40 years, defining it as ‘repeated unwanted communication or contact, in a way that would cause apprehension or fear in most people’. She examines the spectrum of stalking behaviour, from what might seem ‘mild’ to the most dangerous of all, which ends with murder. This escalation from stalking to violence is interrogated. She discusses the choices victim-survivors make regarding either deleting evidence of stalking behaviour because it is so distressing, versus keeping a digital record to be used as evidence, and how an early choice is crucial to what might occur later.

All stalking is obsessive and entitled but the motivations and behaviour behind stalking can be very different. Madigan provides statistics and anecdotal examples to support her investigation. She discusses the five types of stalker: The Rejected Stalker (often after the breakdown of a relationship); The Intimacy Seeker (who longs for a relationship; this is entangled with erotomania – the delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with them ie the celebrity stalker); The Resentful Stalker (seeking revenge or retribution); The Incompetent Suitor (seeking short-term gratification spawned by loneliness or lust); and finally The Predator (less common but a more serious risk – the deadly and chilling attention of a stranger). She deconstructs how all of these perpetrators impact or restrict someone’s life in so many ways.

Other topics include the difference in gender attitudes, the line between love/loyalty and obsession, mental health, religion and the importance of a Victim Impact Statement (VIS). In fact, Madigan includes her own VIS at the end of the book, and it is an extremely powerful document; she states that connecting with others is empowering, validating and comforting.

Stalking causes psychological harm and major damage to people’s lives. They feel voiceless. The lies told are endlessly imaginative and damaging (revenge porn, negative online reviews, identity theft, public commentary) and can lead to loss of employment and financial instability, marriage breakdown and family estrangement. Madigan examines common red flags and discusses our modern reliance on technology and the internet as being a ‘stalker’s dream’. She interrogates the depiction of stalking in movies and literature, how both victim-survivors and perpetrators are portrayed, common misconceptions, the dangers of spyware and the challenges to dealing with stalking. She includes #LetHerSpeak and #MeToo. Victim-survivors want the stalking to stop but they also want justice. Stalking is surprisingly widespread and Madigan’s story of over three years of distress induced by somebody who devoted a huge amount of time and energy to harassing and threatening her is frightening.

Madigan states: ‘Victim-survivors are the change-makers. So are the families of victims who didn’t survive. By channelling their own pain and torment, they are the people who change community attitudes. They change laws. They save lives.’ This is an important and revelatory book.

[Ika Willis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this a lot considering it wasn't very good

[Donna]

𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍
@bynicolemadigan

Nicole Madigan is a victim-survivor, and this is a recount of the suffering and torment she endured at the hands of a bitter and twisted person.

Nicole takes us through what one could only imagine, a brief insight to being stalked, the fear and anxiety of not knowing what's coming for you or your family.

The book touches on the various types of stalkers, their motives, and the impact they have on the stalkee.

The statistics will surprise you, and the lack of action from our police and judicial system will make you angry, thankfully, though this seems to be improving.

Her victim impact statement will sadden you, her resilience will make you proud.

This is not an easy read. There are quite a few TWs; DV, Rape, Suicide, Mental Health.

I'm not comfortable giving this book a star rating as it's not something I read for enjoyment.

Thank you, Nicole, for sharing your story and putting a voice out for a lot of other people who have also been a victim to stalking.

I'm sorry you had to go through this, I'm extremely glad that it's over.

[Lise loves to read · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so incredibly captivating and horrifying the stalking of Journalist Nicole Madigan and as she tells the story of the incredibly insidious stalking and harassment she faced at the hands of a stalker. As a journalist Madigan documented every aspect of the harrowing experience she and her family endured. In this she speaks about stalking and the misconceptions, the stories of women and men who at sometime experienced stalking and the loss of privacy but more importantly the loss of the feeling of safety. Madigan’s writing style is easy and relatable
Her work to bring the issue of stalking and sometimes deadly violence that stalking and criminal harassment especially in the age of social media. This work will be especially liked that also loved Michelle McNarma author of I’ll be gone in the dark

[Frankie Christie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gripping and detailed insight into the lives of stalking victim-survivors. I was horrified to learn about the lackadaisical approach the justice system takes towards these cases, struggling to identify stalking behaviours let alone prosecute the offenders. Victim-survivors are left unsupported, afraid, and simply must wait for the situation to escalate before a case can be made, in some cases leading to fatal consequences. I’m so sorry for what Nicole went through but I commend her for her bravery and response, even though the burden of proof should not have been entirely on her shoulders. We need more accounts like these to help bring awareness to cyberstalking and harassment, in order to change our societies lighthearted view on what is actually a very serious crime.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

True story, laws really need to change, great read.

[Rhe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Nicole for sharing your deeply personal survival story
Thank you for writing such an informative and eye opening book.
I knew a bit about stalking but you opened my mind up to all the different ways a person can be stalked and how society and the justice system treats victims, and its comforting to see the justice system evolving to protect thos victims when in the past it did so little
Thank your sharing something so traumatic with us.

[Joy Corkery · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a combination of two things. It starts with the author’s personal story of being a victim of stalking. The second half of the book delves more into what stalking is and the psychology and laws behind it. While both elements were interesting, I wasn’t wowed by this book. However, I did find it somewhat educational as there is so much to what stalking actually is that I never knew before.

[Kylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable listen. Like others I did get a bit bored by all the facts and statistics but it is a good way to educate.
I was stalked by a violent ex and vividly remember how frightening and draining it was.
People, friends, the police all react differently & this needs to change so glad Nicole has bravely shared her story.

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

A chilling account of the authors own lived experience as a victim-survivor of stalking combined with the stories of other men and women. Madigan combines these accounts with facts and research and highlights failures of our justice system when it comes to stalking. A well written and interesting book.

[Sari James · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this interesting and scary in how stalking isn't taken seriously in the Australian Justice system.
I found it harder to listen in the chapters were the author was describing laws and other stories of stalking. I think this being integrated may have helped me stay interested.