A Year and Six Seconds: A Love Story

by Isabel Gillies

A real-life romantic comedy about getting dumped and getting over it Isabel Gillies, the New York Times bestselling author of Happens Every Day, has written another irresistibly moving and funny A Year and Six A Love Story. When our story opens, it's a dark and slushy winter in New York City, where Isabel is arriving by airplane from Ohio, two toddlers in tow, to move in with her parents; her husband has left her for another woman. In subsequent scene after hilarious scene, Isabel shares her valiant, misguided, and bumbling attempts to understand her own part in the disintegration of her marriage and to feel strong and loveable. And, one by one, she begins to cross items off a staggering single mom to-do list that change last name, get bank account, get work, have breakdowns only in front of best friend and not in front of children, find rare preschool slot for son midyear in Manhattan, get along with three generations of family in tight quarters, find a man who can plant one great and romantic kiss, accept self, accept love, be happy. She cries, she dates, she (and her mother and father and children) get the flu, and then, just when she least expects it, Isabel falls in love. With humility and a refreshing sense of humor, Isabel stumbles many times but also laughs, forgives, discovers new treasures from old friends, marries again, and more than that, finds good love itself within and around her.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, Autobiography, Biography, Divorce

198 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Isabel Gillies, a lifelong New Yorker and actress for many years, is the New York Times best selling author of Happens Every Day, A Year and Six Seconds, and Starry Night (FSG), a young adult novel about first love. Her work has been published in Vogue, The New York Times, Real Simple, Cosmopolitan and Saveur. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, kids, and Maude the dog.

Reviews

[Dawn Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Isabel Gillies' first book "Happens Every Day" in 2010; just months before my whole world [like hers in that book] was turned upside down when my then husband, out of the clear blue, walked away from me and my marriage. I know that those first few months after it happened, I thought back to that book and how much grace and willingness to make the abnormal Isabel showed [even amidst the tantrums and anger and crying] to her ex throughout the process and strived to do the same thing [and I also remembered how my own Mum was during the process when my father left us and still how much grace she shows that man]; I often failed.

When I saw that she had written a second book that focuses on the first year after the separation and divorce, I knew I had to read it. I also knew I had to wait until I was in a better place myself, because I also knew this book was how she fell in love again and I was sure [at the time it was released] that I wasn't ready to read about that [no matter just how happy I was for her].
APPARENTLY, 7 years after my separation and divorce, I was still not ready to read about that. I cried A LOT during this book. A. LOT. And spent some time being envious of her being able to live in NYC [oh how I miss that city] and even though it was tough, had the opportunity to try and heal and move on in one of the greatest cities in the world instead of a dumb little town in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania where everyone knows everyone and you get tired of people being in your business. But I digress.
And I was envious of the fact that she found love again. I think that will never happen for me again. I loved my ex completely and not only am I afraid of never finding that kind of love again, I am TERRIFIED of actually finding it again [you see the dilemma here right?]. It was interesting to see the process for her went and then what she had to deal with AFTER she got remarried and how she did that and became a better person in the process - a better person, mother and yes, wife.

This was a great read for me - even with all the tears and mild forays into envy [they didn't really last that long because I am, for the first time in a long time content with where I am. I miss the human contact of that kind of relationship, but I am okay with that most days]. I like how Isabel writes and how she portrays everyone in the book, including all the hilarity about herself. I am glad that I finally was able to read this.

[Peebee · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK, so Isabel Gillies is incredibly self-absorbed and a drama queen. It's not like I didn't know this from reading her first book. I'm not sure why I put this on my to-read list, because not long after I started, I'm thinking, "oh yeah, I really find her annoying, so why did I want to read about how it all worked out great for her?" That feeling persisted throughout the book.

She acts like she's the first person to have ever suffered heartbreak, or having her husband fall in love with someone else, or having to raise her children as a single mother, or having to start over her life by moving in with her parents after she became an adult. The truth is, she's a working actress who has regularly appeared on shows you've heard of, her parents have a large enough apartment in Manhattan to take her in, and her husband appears to be paying child support and attempting to remain part of her kids' lives. And she fell in love again just a few months after her divorce was final -- without even dating someone else seriously first -- and is now remarried to a great guy. So all in all, her life is not really so bad, at least to anyone but her, because, you see, her life was supposed to be perfect, being smart and beautiful and all. She writes well, and manages to make this story as interesting as it could be, but ultimately, it's not that interesting.

[Anna Louise Kallas · Rating 4 out of 5]

When the story opens, it's a dark and slushy winter in New York City, where Isabel is arriving by airplane from Ohio, two toddlers in tow, to move in with her parents; her husband has left her for another woman. In subsequent scene after hilarious scene, Isabel shares her valiant, misguided, and bumbling attempts to understand her own part in the disintegration of her marriage and to feel strong and loveable. And, one by one, she begins to cross items off a staggering single mom to-do list that includes: change last name, get bank account, get work, have breakdowns only in front of best friend and not in front of children, find rare preschool slot for son midyear in Manhattan, get along with three generations of family in tight quarters, find a man who can plant one great and romantic kiss, accept self, accept love, be happy.

She cries, she dates, she (and her mother and father and children) get the flu, and then, just when she least expects it, Isabel falls in love.

With humility and a refreshing sense of humor, Isabel stumbles many times but also laughs, forgives, discovers new treasures from old friends, marries again, and more than that, finds good love itself within and around her.

Beautiful writing but a heartbreaking story until the end! I found myself relating to her as a woman who is going through a divorce while worrying about her children and trying not to make the same mistakes again in her life. I cried tears with her tears in the story and found myself crying at the end of the book because she found her true love and happiness. I would recommend it for a soul searching tale of the bumpy road that leads you to where you were meant to be.

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went into it with minimal expectations - I'm vaguely familiar with her work as an actor, but a friend invited me to an upcoming booktalk and I figured I should at least thumb through this so I was familiar with her work as an author.

If I'd started reading this earlier in the day, I would have finished it in one setting. I could not put it down. Her writing is so compelling and this is every woman's story- love, loss and children. The premise is, you may know in six seconds if this is The One -- but that even The One might not be the forever one. She'd relocated do Oberlin, Ohio for her then-husband's job and within a year and a half, he'd left her and their two young boys. This is the story of Gillies' move back to NYC, her childhood bedroom and a mix of the practical (establishing residency to be qualified to take over her parents' lease) to the amusing: hanging a Red Hot CHili Peppers' poster in her former and current bedroom. THe story culminates in her meeting and marrying her second husband, also a divorcé.

An excellent read -- her voice is strong and her writing is engaging.

[Lisal Kayati Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet story of heartbreak and the road back to happiness. I enjoyed her neurotic, conversational tone - very Woody Allenesque. It held my attention because it was so intensely human. I’ve been there and know people struggling through these same painful experiences now. I always want to see people fight through tough stuff and get to the other side.

[tei hurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

i never want to hear another bad word about isabel gillies ever again. this was so beautifully written and felt so soft around the edges.

[Erin Book Nerd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parts of this book were just exquisite. I felt like the author not only defined her transitory experience from married to separated to divorced with resonant language but that she captured how it is for many other people as well. The story of what happened to her regarding the betrayal and infidelity bore such similarities to what happened to my dear friend that I was almost a bit spooked. My friend had no children but had a very similar betrayal experience in the same state (Ohio) and in the same profession (University professors.) I constantly found myself texting her snippets of Gilies’ writing gems.

Book quotes:
“Oh, how I loathe the prefix “ex.” I hate all the divorce terminology: “ex,” “step,” “half.” All of it is distancing, at arm’s length, one step away from something real. For people who need togetherness and unity after a traumatizing rupture such as divorce, language doesn’t give you much of a break.”
...

“I don’t think the social pressure to be self-sustaining is only a women’s issue, or a heterosexual issue, or any one group’s issue; it’s seen as unattractive to need or want any kind of relationship (there are entire books written on how to pretend you don’t want and need). But we are humans and we do both. I think if society hadn’t intervened, we would all still sleep in piles like gorillas.”
...

“The feeling of being in trouble when you are newly divorced is quite real. You are in trouble. You have to rebuild your life, probably from an emotionally and financially damaged position, and people are angry with you. Divorce upsets people. It disrupts what is “supposed” to happen. People become afraid they might “catch it.” They get angry. Not really at you, but sort of. I had friends who argued that no, they were not angry at me, they were angry at HIM. But for me, he was still me and I was still him. I can’t imagine being around me was easy. I was tense and defensive”...

This is my first book by this author so I am not familiar with what the previous book touched on. From the published synopsis, I honestly expected a lot more about the new love and the new happiness. I felt like the pacing there left room for improvement. There were other times in the book where I just felt like we were reading autobiographical snippets that didn’t really fit into the arc of the story and instead just sort of felt like filler. I was expecting this book to be a memoir about life transition, not a sweeping biography and it seemed to jump disjointedly at times from one camp into the other.

And this point is not a criticism but an observation, I’m just two years older than this author but before looking up the relevant dates (year of her birth, year of her first marriage, etc) she seemed quite a bit older than I. Her cultural references to Simon and Garfunkel and other music or pastimes had me thinking she was a good 10 years older than I am.

The greatest take away I had from reading this book was a willingness to reconsider harsh judgments. Gilies pondered the heavyweights of betrayal, infidelity, forgiveness and acceptance. After reading her thoughts, I became a bit more flexible about my viewpoints of the perpetrators of deep wounding in relationships of people for whom I care.

As something similar also happened to my sibling, I was particularly grateful for the recap of Isabel’s conversation with her former mother in law. To protect the children, we relatives “put up and shut up” but sometimes in the secret places of my heart, I still harbor anger and resentment about the poor conduct of the cheating parties. This book didn’t change me but it set the stage, or planted some seeds, to soften my righteous indignation.

[Marianna Moles · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fair warning: This is a harsh review. No surprise since I'm giving it one star. This is the book you read if you are a writer who needs to learn how NOT to write a book. Seriously, I will use it as a reference.

Horrible, just horrible writing. I fear how Isabel's first book is a New York Times Bestseller... She "tells" hard and "shows" less than anyone I have ever read, plopping in odd details about people and things in a way that makes them feel moot and random, like, "Why are you telling me this? And why didn't you share this 11 chapters prior when it would have been useful?" Several times I felt my face scrunch up in disgust at her repetitive, lazy style, rolling my eyes. No emotional draw or character development. It's like reading her diary, but without any editing.

Her personal experience and reasons for writing it are all fine and dandy, but please take more time to create something enjoyable. In general, I laugh easily, and I barely laughed once or twice, which is significant because she spends a lot of time attempting to he witty and comical.

I'll say this: it's a decent book to read if you're currently going through a break up or some other life crisis, because you'll already be miserable and emotional, and yearning to feel understood... I should have read this right after my break up but I couldn't get through it. Maybe this is one of those books where you have to be in a particular mindset to enjoy it because then you will not care as much about the quality of the writing. What matters most is that someone knows what you are going through...

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Gillies first memoir, Happens Every Day, and really enjoyed it so I decided to read this book as well. There's almost no need to read this book if you've read the first one as the first 80% or so is a more detailed description of the last few chapters of Happens Every Day after describing her life in NYC after moving back in with her parents with her two young sons following her divorce. She eventually picks up on some new material with getting back in the dating scene and meeting her second husband. Gillies is a good enough writer that I still enjoyed this book, but I wouldn't recommend reading both this and Happens Every Day because it's like reading the same book but with a short addendum. She has now broken my Augusten Burroughs memoir rule, which is that even if you had something interesting enough to write a memoir about to start with there is no need to continue chronicling your life in future memoirs from the point where that first memoir left off. Trust me you are not that interesting of a person. So now I am done reading your books unless you come up with a new topic.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay -- I can't explain why I loved this so much, but I did. I read her first book and had the same reaction. Parts of it are written with such childlike innocence, I found myself thinking it was cheesy...but maybe that's how it seduces. She pulls you in with her honesty. I found myself thinking I could be friends with this woman (and then remembered she's famous). I read it in one day. If she writes another book, I'm sure the same thing will happen: I'll buy it, begin reading, wince at the cheese, keep reading and then be sad when it's over because I enjoyed it so much.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved her first book and sympathized with her, the devoted wife cast aside for a newer younger French professor. This one was braver because after she moves in with her parents and two young children in NYC one starts to find her...annoying. She's open and honest about what it's like to be dumped, divorced, lonely and raising Two little boys. But it does somehow endear u you to Isabelle like the first memoir does. Still you find yourself relating to her insecurities and the mess of it all. And cheering for her when she meets her soulmate in Central Park.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't think this was as good as the first book, "It Happens Every Day", but I cared enough about her to want to know what happened next!! And I'm glad I did.

I will warn you that the new boyfriend/husband doesn't show up until Chapter 27 out of 30!! I kept looking for him. But her journey from Josiah to Peter was interesting (and true).

I did like how she kept working on her problems even after she got together with Peter! That's real maturity and progress! I got more of a sense in this book, why her marriage possibly failed in the last book. We learned more of her character---Drama Queen! Intense! Big Cryer! Yeller! Outspoken! She was candid about it.

In the first book, I listened on audio and her voice sounded like the fashion blogger and royal follower, Elizabeth Holmes. (not to be confused with the fraudulent Eliz. Holmes that was just on trial). Eliz. Holmes is dark haired and petite with 3 small children. I pictured Isabel as looking like Elizabeth the whole book, EVEN THOUGH she clearly told us that she was tall and blonde!

However, in the second book (this one) we see her on the cover, and I had looked her up as an actress, and so for this book I saw her as tall and blonde. It was like reading about a different person! All my fault.

One thing she said, which has nothing to do with her writing or the story, was that she went back to her parent's apartment in NYC, "the apartment I grew up in". She went back to her childhood bedroom. I'm sorry, I'm not a city girl, I thought apartments that you rented were temporary, I mean, you didn't live in them for 40 years!! This sentence of hers, "the apartment I grew up in" just floors me! I can imagine that for a house, of course, and maybe for an apartment that her parents OWNED, but just one they rented?? If anybody wants to comment on this, please do, it's out of my experience! It blows my mind!! I just can't imagine it. A rental with the lives of a whole family growing up, showing on the floors and walls of the apt....

One phrase of Isabel's I noted----during a terrific rainstorm, she was trying to get somewhere on the city streets and she commented that she had to negotiate thru the "category 4 rapids of the storm drain." I thought that was good.

All in all, I liked this, am glad to catch up with Isabel Gillies, and I'm happy she found her man!

[Erica Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5
I am so conflicted about this book. Let me start by saying, everyone is entitled to the grief they feel from a loss. That being said, her life having grown up in an NY apartment overlooking the park, summering in Maine, and having family with lots of great jobs makes it difficult to reconcile her worries about money and a life as a single parent. Again, everyone struggles with change and shifting finances, but it is very hard to relate to someone who comes across as elite. Even when she addresses how lucky she is to have such a good safety net, it's still hard not to want to yell at her to just stop whining. My other issue is that the first 80% of the book is TONS of details about moving back in with her parents and then when she meets her new husband at the end of the book it is so so rushed. It was like she had a page limit and ran out of space.
On the plus side, I kept listening to the audio because it was somehow oddly compelling even though I didn't like it and there were some real gem sentences in it that gave me all the feels. Again, conflicted.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version. The author should be lauded for her introspection (which other reviewers have labeled self-absorption) because she was looking within herself to figure out what part she may have played in the dissolution of her marriage. It would have been easier just to say her husband left her for another woman...which he did.
But the author also would have led us to believe that she was among the first divorced women in NYC. In this day and age, divorced single moms are not an aberration or a pariah.
While Gillies's writing is not particularly lyrical or rich, she comes up with some golden observations/lessons. The epilogue, in which her son is struggling with homework so they Skype her ex-husband, was sweet as she urged that, by staying friends with an ex-, there are many important things the divorced parents can do together for their children.

[Carlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

A candid examination of the breakup of a marriage and life as a single mother. I was engrossed in her story through much of the book but finally began to get weary of her weeping and self absorption. As others have pointed out she was rather fortunate in the circumstances she had to fall back on (sharing an apartment in Manhattan with her parents who were supportive and available for child care, her old acting job back, friends she grew up with nearby, support and monthly visitations with the children from her ex). Certainly it isn't easy though as she admits she is a drama queen. This became quite evident though she ends by recognizing this along with some other characters flaws and seeks therapy for improvement on these issues.

[D · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the most vapid and pointless books I’ve ever read. The white privilege on display is unreal. I found myself constantly rolling my eyes, and I’m white. Maybe there’s an audience of her wealthy, successful peers who care about the slow agony of choosing between multimillionaire boyfriends, but for the rest of us, it’s exhausting. I would have preferred a condensed version of The Princess and the Pea and saved myself hours of hearing about her glamorous career, wealthy parents who became babysitters, and endless retreats with her fabulous, perfect, caring girlfriends, disguised as personal growth.
Save yourself & skip this whine fest! I honestly can’t believe this drivel got published!

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes books come along just when you need them. This may not be an exciting book for everyone but if you are in the midst of separation or divorce it is nice to know you are not alone.
Even people with support of families ( She was able to bring her two little boys to New York to live with her parents ) we are all experiencing the same doubts and questions.
One thing I love about the book is that she did not just end it with the happy ending. It goes a little further in discovering what she had contributed to the divorce and what she has to work on in her new marriage.

[Vanessa Olson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I actually picked it up without making the connection that the author was an actress in SVU, even though I am a fan of the show.

I think this book was beautifully written. I’ve seen a few people say it’s whiny or self indulgent, but I disagree. The author skillfully walks readers through a bittersweet part of her life and comes off as a very relatable, normal girl. I was rooting for her the whole time and I enjoyed seeing her fight through the year of her divorce to find love again.

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

After her gut-wrenching honesty and impressive (heroic?) first book, I was thrilled to see another book from this talented woman. This second memoir is every bit as good as her first and thankfully for Ms Gillies this is the story of her joyful new beginning. It’s impossible not to cheer for this spirited, open, generous and beautiful (inside & out) person.

[Marisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kobo Library. Ok now I want her to just get over it already, her ex fucked her over. And no longer loves her because of that selfish woman Silvia. She had her sights on Isabel’s husband from the start no matter that there were two small children’s involved. I hate women who hate women and do not take into consideration the family unit but are,solely selfish.

[Laura Turowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having gone through a situation similar to Isabel, and after reading her first book, I was excited to read this one. It was pretty good. She seems to just scratch the surface of what people feel going through divorce/child custody issues.

[Zoann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Just good enough to get me to finish it. Probably wouldn't have if I had read on paper. I listened to this one. It did give me a sense of what growing up on the Upper West Side was like, for the author approx. 40 years ago and now.

[Lynnea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed her prior book. There is a quite a bit of overlap in the two (to be expected in a memoir). I enjoy her writing. I think it is odd people like to say she comes across as self absorbed, but they are reading a memoir.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read her first book, Happens Every Day, some years ago, and was happy to find the sequel pop up on an Amazon scrawl. It was a short, but meaningful read. She writes with ease and hope. Quick read, too -- she writes like she's talking to a friend of hers, which makes it relatable and joyful.

[Alyson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had to see what happens next, just not my favorite of the two. Melodrama WASPy beach read for me. Windstorm reading. I got a kick out of pages 229-231 just sum up her therapy work. She might have a book in those pages.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humble, unassuming, honest, and funny - like listening to a girlfriend

[Mayer Martin]

Isabel's story is relatable which is a comforting thing for those of us going through that hard, dark year post divorce.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted a happy ending so I kept reading but was a bit bored.

[Cindy Lucas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring

[Lucy Forest · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the memoir sequel. Interestingly enough, this is the actress who played the wife of the lead detective in Law and Order SUV