Raising A Happier Mother: The empowering guide to motherhood and must-read book for any new mum

by Anna Mathur

THE PERFECT, THOUGHTFUL GIFT FOR THE MUM IN YOUR LIFE!

This isn't a parenting book.
This isn't a guide to being a perfect parent ( they don't exist)
This is a book about you.

We can only anchor, nurture, nourish and instill confidence in our children when we extend the same support to ourselves. After all, how can we effectively tend to our children's needs when our energy reserves are depleted? How can we lead by example and teach our children the importance of healthy self-esteem if we are struggling with these things ourselves? There are a thousand and one ways to parent, and only one way that's authentic for you.

Drawing on her work as a psychotherapist, alongside her own experiences as a mother, Anna shows that caring with our children begins with caring for ourselves, and it's time to replace exhaustion with empowerment. Far from being selfish, self-care is an essential quality of a happier mother good parent. The greatest gift you can give to to yourself and your children, is to give yourself permission to thrive.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help

319 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 31, 2023

Reviews

[Abi Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a book! Not Christian but often incredibly biblical in outlook of motherhood. Emphasis of importance of demonstrating to our children how to live well in an imperfect world. I feel a happier mother because of reading it.

[Hannah Bryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ended up skipping the 'consequences' chapters as they felt like a list of things to feel bad and worry about. Otherwise really like the idea of articulate your vision, tear it down and build it back up again. Pleased with the prompts addressing different processing styles.

[Paw · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a very insightful read. The author talks about comparison, perfectionism, and self-talk throughout the book.
How at ease you feel when someone explains how exactly you feel and why that you feel in that way.
I feel like I've had a personal therapy session after reading this book.

Would recommend this book to all mother

[Uzoamaka · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my second one and I like Anna Mathur's style of writing.

Using real life examples she navigates the life of a mother - whether in paid employment or not. It's really useful to imagine and draw up your fantasy or ideal by understanding words such as guilt, shame, consequences etc. Much of your happiness lies in what you can control and it helps you with things you can't control.

There are several journal prompts to help you write down and come up with your plan for being happier.

[Mary Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m really glad I picked up this book as I went back to work. It wasn’t preachy and gave some practical tips I hope to use on this journey.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a nice vibe—gentle and positive—but it felt like it came from a pretty privileged place. It touched on representation and inclusion, but only on a surface level. The content leaned heavily on platitudes and truisms, without offering much practical or realistic advice. And while the idea of self-care is lovely, for so many of us it feels out of reach and just ends up piling on more stress. I wanted to get more out of this one, but it didn’t really hit the mark for me. Also, it totally messed with my New Year’s resolution to DNF books I’d rate under 3 stars. Guess I still need to work on that!

[Alanna Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full review here: https://theresnoenjoymentlikereading....

[Jojolee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audiobook and oh my gosh, I love the author's voice. I could listen to her talk all day. Her voice is soothing and captivating. It was like having my own personal therapy session with a comforting friend who is constantly rooting for me to be happy. It felt like I was given a great big hug.

I really enjoyed listening to this and reflecting on my journey in motherhood so far. The reason for my low-ish rating is that I didn't really learn anything new.
Otherwise, it was a really nice book to dive into that encouraged me to basically stop being so high-strung and just chill the f out lol

[Angharad Elin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't enjoying this book at all and was struggling to get through it, until the last 100 pages. Those pages hit me like a bus. When reading the chapters 'Fear and Anxiety', and 'Overwhelm and Exhaustion' I recognised a lot of what was being said in my life. The pages on burnout were very familiar, and it's nice to now recognise that.
I'd therefore recommend that if you read this book, to read the contents page first and read what is most relevant to you maybe? Although, perhaps I wouldn't have read the chapters that hit me the most if I'd done that.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book incredibly empowering and so thoughtfully written. Knowing a psychotherapist wrote it made it even more meaningful; her insights felt grounded, compassionate, and backed by real understanding 🧠💬

It’s filled with gentle reminders, relatable stories, and practical strategies that help mums navigate the emotional highs and lows of motherhood with kindness and balance 🤱🌿 I especially loved how it normalises the challenging moments while encouraging self-compassion and joy along the way.

I would’ve given it five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, but some of the references were based in the UK, so a few things didn’t quite fit the Australian experience. Still, it’s an excellent and heartfelt read that I’d recommend to every new mum 💛📖✨

[Tolulope Soremekun · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a great and thoughtful read with many relatable points. The reality checks helped put a lot into perspective regarding motherhood. It has just the right amount of encouragement void of any judgement.

Personally, one major takeaway was that as much as you work towards rest, work from a place of rest. As mothers, we take rest for granted. You don't want to be busy if i don't have to be, rest. The journal prompts after each chapter was something I appreciated. I'd recommend it.

[Eleri · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt very called out in a lot of this book, it is full of very insightful and thought provoking advice. I think it's going to be revisited a lot in smaller chunks to actually be able to process it fully and make the most of the useful prompts at the end of each chapter. Highly recommend this book to any tired and overwhelmed parents.

[Milene Teixeira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing job at make common daily (unknown) struggles more relatable. Amazing job at ensuring that Mothers are Entitled to rest. Giving a voice to say I MATTER without prejudices. In terms of motherhood depression and anxiety disorder the other book “mind over mother” is better but in truth the author says that herself.

[Sarah Call · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. I feel like every struggle, fear, question, and outlook I've had about motherhood was written down and then answered in this book. I need to listen to this at least 5 more times to glean every bit I possibly can. Absolutely reccomend this to any mother/mother figure, especially mothers of young children who are right in the thick of it!

[Kel Caffekey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really insightful book and i love the way she breaks down the motherhood fantasy.

I read this with a view to becoming a mum and out of all the books i looked at i kept being drawn to this one.

[Magdalena Morris]

I really like Anna Mathur's writing and what she offers/shares as a psychotherapist and a mother. A quick, relatable read and though I did skim read some parts of it, I've taken some advice and a few chapters were really useful.

[Madi Wilkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

would recommend this book to all of my mama friends! I’m a first time mom to a 22 month old and this book really hit home on how to tackle the dreadful feeling of mom guilt. I listened to the audiobook but I think I may go back and reread and do the journal prompts at the end of each chapter!

[Malee Palazzolo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the simplicity of this book. It had practical examples that really resonated with me. I love how the chapters are broken up and I plan on revising the journal exercises over the next few months.

[Erin Szafranski · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have enjoyed this book much more if I read it with a group of mom friends/ book club. To get the most out of it I think you really need to sit and reflect on the discussion questions at the end of each chapter.

[Melissa Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book that normalised my thoughts, made me feel less ‘crazy’ and gave me really useful, practical tips to apply to my everyday life! Loved every word!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend to every mother out there 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good gems in there, but like all self-help books, probably could have been condensed a bit more. Admittedly I missed some bits too as I tried to listen to this as an audiobook!

[Johanna Elsener · Rating 4 out of 5]

A relaxing and comprehensive read. Good for any mother.

[Holly Brazier · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the premise of the book but it did get a bit repetitive

[Aimée Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed listening to this on Audible and I was sad when it was over. Much needed therapy for mums!

[Lucy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book dealing with so many themes of. Motherhood and how to best override them.

My notes:


-is our fantasy view of motherhood held in a different generation and not realistic for today’s demands?
-we often want happiness for everyone but we don’t prioritise our own happiness!
-perfectionist people find motherhood difficult as want such high standards of themselves, we need to accept the lack of so much control

-need to express all our emotions, the more negative ones too ‘motherhood is hard’, ‘I’m not enjoying this tantrum’ etc in order to also see the bigger picture and have gratitude. Use AND not BUT “I am finding this tantrum hard AND I love my kids”- it gives bigger picture and focuses on the positive without ignoring negative

-cannot judge based on hindsight. Feeling guilty you didn’t realise your child had intolerance etc. we can only work with the information we have at the time.

-your children look to you for guidance. If you chastise yourself and show shame and guilt over things they will observe yhat. Instead “it doesn’t matter” attitude to unimportant things will be very influential.

-when experiencing guilt use ACT
A address - name the reason you feel guilty (I feel guilty I shouted at kids)

C compassion - we all deserve compassion, tell yourself I am good person that did a bad thing etc. talk to yourself like you would a friend.

T tweak - if guilt is there to prompt you to do something, NOT to shame you, what is it? And think about a tweak/change to improve things

Then after this process you can let the guilt go!


-when you’re depleted do not feel guilt over lowering your standards (screen time, frozen meals etc) this is a necessity to look after yourself so you don’t over exhaust yourself or snap etc

-use attitude ‘if no one could know what I did what would I choose to do’ (eg birth choice) to take away judgement effecting your choices

-need to respect important of rest and treat ourselves like we are a car when it’s run out of fuel and needs refuelling don’t keep using it! Look after your needs as your children will then in turn look after theirs and feel they deserve compassion

[Karolina Kebla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lengva, kaip podcast’ą klausyti. Labai smagus “walkthrough” Motherhood fantasy -> Guilt + Anger/Irritability + Loneliness + Comparison and judgement + Anxiety and fear + Exhaustion.
Labai patiko anxiety chapteris, lb useful tools suggested. Vos ne sakyciau reikia įsijungti kiekvieną kartą, kai jauti, kad kyla nerimo banga.