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Where the Shadows Dance
He got sober. I got broken.
It would be easy to say Where the Shadows Dance is a memoir about a marriage—but marriage is simply the setting. Dana Killion dives deep into what we do for love, what we do because of love, how love can break us, how love can save us, and how the most important love is the love we feel for ourselves, because without it, no other kind can ever be as rich.
A raw, vulnerable exploration of the damage that secrets and lies inflict, Where the Shadows Dance is a story for every woman who has set herself aside because someone else's needs seemed greater.
It would be easy to say Where the Shadows Dance is a memoir about a marriage—but marriage is simply the setting. Dana Killion dives deep into what we do for love, what we do because of love, how love can break us, how love can save us, and how the most important love is the love we feel for ourselves, because without it, no other kind can ever be as rich.
A raw, vulnerable exploration of the damage that secrets and lies inflict, Where the Shadows Dance is a story for every woman who has set herself aside because someone else's needs seemed greater.
- GenresMemoir
259 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 18, 2023
About the author
Dana Killion
10 books26 followersDana Killion grew up in a small town in northern Wisconsin, reading Nancy Drew and dreaming of living surrounded by tall buildings. A career in the apparel industry satisfied her city living urge and Nancy Drew evolved into Cornwell, Fairstein, and Evanovich.
One day, frustrated that her favorite authors weren’t writing fast enough, an insane thought crossed her mind. “Maybe I could write a novel?”
Silly, naïve, downright ludicrous. But she did it. She plotted and planned and got 80,000 words on the page. That manuscript lives permanently in the back of a closet. But the writing bug had bitten.
Her debut novel, Lies in High Places, was released in October of 2017. The Andrea Kellner series continues with The Last Lie (2018), Lies of Men (2019), Tell Me a Lie (2020), and The Liars Code (2022).
In May of 2023, Dana's debut memoir, Where the Shadows Dance was released. A story born of a life in turmoil and her husband's addiction.
Dana currently lives in Tucson with her kitty, Isabel, happily avoiding snow and mending her heart.
One day, frustrated that her favorite authors weren’t writing fast enough, an insane thought crossed her mind. “Maybe I could write a novel?”
Silly, naïve, downright ludicrous. But she did it. She plotted and planned and got 80,000 words on the page. That manuscript lives permanently in the back of a closet. But the writing bug had bitten.
Her debut novel, Lies in High Places, was released in October of 2017. The Andrea Kellner series continues with The Last Lie (2018), Lies of Men (2019), Tell Me a Lie (2020), and The Liars Code (2022).
In May of 2023, Dana's debut memoir, Where the Shadows Dance was released. A story born of a life in turmoil and her husband's addiction.
Dana currently lives in Tucson with her kitty, Isabel, happily avoiding snow and mending her heart.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
March 5, 2023
This book perfectly describes how a spouse’s addiction can sneak up from behind and steal everything you once thought was your life, despite all the warning signs.
April 15, 2023
A gripping tale from the inside of a love destroyed by addiction, told for once, from the perspective of the non-addict. Hats off to my friend and accomplished author, Dana Killion, for daring to write this book.
February 17, 2023
An intimate and vulnerable look into a life and marriage that from the outside, looked perfect. Can't we all relate to that in some way? Dana Killion takes us through the painful truth about being married to an alcoholic and we feel like we are right there with her. I was rooting for her, crying with her and staying up far too late reading her story. This is an important memoir that had to be told, it reminds women that we need to fight to hold onto ourselves and to be caretakers of our own hearts too.
February 23, 2023
I just finished reading the memoir, “WHERE THE SHADOWS DANCE” by Dana Killion. The book is one of truth, inspiration and courage. I felt her struggle to navigate her way through her husband’s addiction to alcohol. The words are filled with finding her own need for freedom after years of silence.
May 23, 2023
complete waste of time and money.
I purchased this book thinking it was a first hand account of living with an alcoholic spouse and how to care for oneself in such circumstances. The first maybe one fourth of the book does keep to this subject. The rest of the book focuses on dealing with the pain of an unfaithful husband in excruciatingly repetitive detail. I plowed through about half the book and just couldn’t take it anymore. If you are looking for inspiration in self care while dealing with an alcoholic in your life this is not the book for you. I didn’t find the author to be skilled in telling a narrative and was utterly bored by her story.
I purchased this book thinking it was a first hand account of living with an alcoholic spouse and how to care for oneself in such circumstances. The first maybe one fourth of the book does keep to this subject. The rest of the book focuses on dealing with the pain of an unfaithful husband in excruciatingly repetitive detail. I plowed through about half the book and just couldn’t take it anymore. If you are looking for inspiration in self care while dealing with an alcoholic in your life this is not the book for you. I didn’t find the author to be skilled in telling a narrative and was utterly bored by her story.
May 17, 2023
An honest and touching look at what goes on behind closed doors in a marriage. This book was inspiring, gripping and tragic all at the same time. I felt like I was in the room with her as I read the words off the pages. No one really has talked about how the spouse of an addict feels and what inner turmoil she is confronted with. A must read!
June 16, 2026
Where the Shadows Dance is a raw, courageous, and deeply affecting memoir about love, addiction, sacrifice, and the difficult journey of reclaiming oneself after years of emotional survival.
Dana Killion tells a story that many readers will find painfully familiar—not because they have lived the exact same experiences, but because they understand what it feels like to put someone else's needs ahead of their own. At its heart, this memoir explores the hidden toll that addiction and dysfunction can take on those who stand beside the person in crisis.
What makes the book particularly powerful is its honesty. Killion does not attempt to simplify complicated emotions or present easy answers. Instead, she offers readers an unflinching look at the slow accumulation of trauma, the weight of carrying another person's struggles, and the gradual realization that love alone cannot heal everything.
The memoir succeeds because it goes beyond being a story about addiction. It becomes an exploration of identity, boundaries, self-worth, and emotional resilience. Readers witness a woman fighting for her marriage, fighting for her family, and ultimately learning to fight for herself. That transformation gives the narrative both emotional depth and lasting significance.
Killion's writing is vulnerable without being self-pitying and honest without being sensationalized. She captures the complexity of loving someone who is suffering while also acknowledging the damage that can occur when self-sacrifice becomes a way of life.
Readers who enjoy memoirs centered on personal growth, relationships, recovery, mental health, and women's experiences will find much to appreciate here. Book clubs in particular will discover rich themes for discussion, from codependency and resilience to forgiveness and self-discovery.
Ultimately, Where the Shadows Dance is a powerful reminder that while love can sustain us, healing often begins when we learn to extend that same compassion to ourselves.
An emotionally honest and inspiring memoir that will resonate with anyone who has ever lost themselves while trying to save someone they love.
Dana Killion tells a story that many readers will find painfully familiar—not because they have lived the exact same experiences, but because they understand what it feels like to put someone else's needs ahead of their own. At its heart, this memoir explores the hidden toll that addiction and dysfunction can take on those who stand beside the person in crisis.
What makes the book particularly powerful is its honesty. Killion does not attempt to simplify complicated emotions or present easy answers. Instead, she offers readers an unflinching look at the slow accumulation of trauma, the weight of carrying another person's struggles, and the gradual realization that love alone cannot heal everything.
The memoir succeeds because it goes beyond being a story about addiction. It becomes an exploration of identity, boundaries, self-worth, and emotional resilience. Readers witness a woman fighting for her marriage, fighting for her family, and ultimately learning to fight for herself. That transformation gives the narrative both emotional depth and lasting significance.
Killion's writing is vulnerable without being self-pitying and honest without being sensationalized. She captures the complexity of loving someone who is suffering while also acknowledging the damage that can occur when self-sacrifice becomes a way of life.
Readers who enjoy memoirs centered on personal growth, relationships, recovery, mental health, and women's experiences will find much to appreciate here. Book clubs in particular will discover rich themes for discussion, from codependency and resilience to forgiveness and self-discovery.
Ultimately, Where the Shadows Dance is a powerful reminder that while love can sustain us, healing often begins when we learn to extend that same compassion to ourselves.
An emotionally honest and inspiring memoir that will resonate with anyone who has ever lost themselves while trying to save someone they love.
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March 8, 2023Dana Killion ’82
Author
From the author:
He got sober. I got broken.
Dana Killion’s memoir lays bare the slow drip of trauma as she fought to save the man she loved, and in the process, became collateral damage in his self-destruction.
In this raw and vulnerable tale of love, lies, and leaving, we see a woman fighting for her family, her husband’s sobriety, and eventually, fighting for her own mental health as she stepped away from the shadow cast by his pain.
Where the Shadows Dance is a raw, vulnerable exploration of the damage that secrets and lies inflict.
It would be easy to say Where the Shadows Dance is a story about a marriage, but marriage is simply the setting. This is a story about what we do for love, what we do because of love, how love can break us, how love can save us, and how the most important love is the love we feel for ourselves because, without it, no other kind of love can ever be as rich.
This is a story for every woman who has set herself aside because someone else’s needs seemed greater.
Author
From the author:
He got sober. I got broken.
Dana Killion’s memoir lays bare the slow drip of trauma as she fought to save the man she loved, and in the process, became collateral damage in his self-destruction.
In this raw and vulnerable tale of love, lies, and leaving, we see a woman fighting for her family, her husband’s sobriety, and eventually, fighting for her own mental health as she stepped away from the shadow cast by his pain.
Where the Shadows Dance is a raw, vulnerable exploration of the damage that secrets and lies inflict.
It would be easy to say Where the Shadows Dance is a story about a marriage, but marriage is simply the setting. This is a story about what we do for love, what we do because of love, how love can break us, how love can save us, and how the most important love is the love we feel for ourselves because, without it, no other kind of love can ever be as rich.
This is a story for every woman who has set herself aside because someone else’s needs seemed greater.
April 15, 2023
Usually the happy ending in an addiction memoir is the moment of sobriety. But Dana's story of her husband's alcoholism shows how the focus on the addict's life and needs and lies can become even more intense and gaslight-y when they quit. This book is for any woman who hides her own needs and sacrifices her life to caregiving--and would like a way out.
Favorite quote:
"What will you do when those moments come? Lie to yourself? Rationalize and suppress yet again? Stay in the shadows? Or will you find your bravery and seek out joy, contentment, renewed desire, and
longing? I choose bravery. In that choice is my belief that the rest will follow."
Favorite quote:
"What will you do when those moments come? Lie to yourself? Rationalize and suppress yet again? Stay in the shadows? Or will you find your bravery and seek out joy, contentment, renewed desire, and
longing? I choose bravery. In that choice is my belief that the rest will follow."
February 5, 2024
Review: Where the shadows dance ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ |
Author: Dana Killion
Publication Date: 01 May 2023
Publisher: Amplify Publishing
Biographies & Memoirs | Nonfiction (Adult) | Self-Help
I received this book from Dana Killion and Amplify Publishing, as an advanced eArc for my honest review any opinions that come from this review are my own. Thank you to both the Author and the publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review this book.
Thank you to the author for sharing their story this book was beautifully written and I was hooked from the first page.
It was a heartbreaking and very moving book and I really enjoyed it.
Author: Dana Killion
Publication Date: 01 May 2023
Publisher: Amplify Publishing
Biographies & Memoirs | Nonfiction (Adult) | Self-Help
I received this book from Dana Killion and Amplify Publishing, as an advanced eArc for my honest review any opinions that come from this review are my own. Thank you to both the Author and the publisher and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review this book.
Thank you to the author for sharing their story this book was beautifully written and I was hooked from the first page.
It was a heartbreaking and very moving book and I really enjoyed it.
May 30, 2023
An alcoholic spouse brings incredible pain and chaos to our lives. I've been there. It was hard to relive a story that was my life too. But also surprisingly freeing to see the author share her story of raw, vulneralility. Most of us can't do that. I couldn't. Most of us don't have the coureage the author has to tell what she lived.
If you've have an addict in your life or still carry pain from an old relationship, read this book. If you have put someone else first, neglecting yourself, read this book.
The author found a good life on the other side. It can inspire us to do the same.
If you've have an addict in your life or still carry pain from an old relationship, read this book. If you have put someone else first, neglecting yourself, read this book.
The author found a good life on the other side. It can inspire us to do the same.
September 14, 2025
Where the Shadows Dance by Dana Killion was an okay read for me. Since this is a biography, I won’t comment on the author’s choices or story—everyone’s life is their own. What I can say is that it was interesting to step into her world for a while.
Even though I’ve never gone through what the author experienced, I appreciated getting a glimpse into her journey and learning about her life. It offered a perspective different from my own, which is always valuable.
Even though I’ve never gone through what the author experienced, I appreciated getting a glimpse into her journey and learning about her life. It offered a perspective different from my own, which is always valuable.
May 4, 2023
A raw and beautifully honest account of a marriage collapsing under the weight of addiction and infidelity—told by the woman left in the wake. Dana’s depiction of depression is vivid and poignant, and I appreciated her interrogation of the "discontent" so many women feel in middle age. Ultimately, hers is a story that will resonate with any woman determined to find her own version of happy.
June 21, 2023
I read this book through the lens of a sister to brothers who have been down the depths of addiction and the messages of the author can be extrapolated to my experience as well. It is a long difficult road, collateral damage is a very real effect, and I applaud anyone’s path to healing. Thank you for sharing your story.
August 3, 2024
Raw honest, inspiring and hope-filled. Highly recommended reading for the relationship partner of an addict. Actually, recommended for anyone who has been touched by addiction/alcoholism. Which means it’s recommended reading for everyone.
April 22, 2025
This gutted me and resonated deeply with my soul.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews