A Commodore of Errors: A Novel

by John Jacobsen

Commodore Thomas Dickey, the pompous second in command at the United States Merchant Marine Academy, desperately wants the top job, presently occupied by the skirt chasing Admiral Johnson. Dickey goes into cahoots with Mogie Mogelefsky, the imperious, bullying mayor of neighboring Great Neck to oust Johnson. When they succeed in exposing him in yet another peccadillo, Mogie suddenly reneges on their deal. Mogie is tired of dealing with the WASPs at the Academy and declares he wants a Jew instead.

The Commodore is quick to point out that the Academy’s by-laws require the Superintendent to have sea-going experience and that, unfortunately, it will be next to impossible to find a Jewish captain. Enter Mrs. Tannenbaume. Her sonny boy is captain of a ship, coincidentally! But Mrs. Tannenbaume has spent her entire life proclaiming it’s Tannenbaume with an E, and that she’s not Jewish. Oy. 

Although the Commodore secretly plans to expose Captain Tannenbaume as a Gentile in the end, Mrs. Tannenbaume joins her son’s ship in Singapore to teach him and his new bride, a nineteen year-old Thai bar girl, to be the perfect Jewish couple. The crew on the M. V. God is Able have never seen the likes of Mrs. Tannenbaume before and they sit back and watch as she “takes the conn” from her son and everyone else who stands in her way.

A Commodore of Errors is a bawdy, sea-going romp full of lively oddballs and convoluted plot twists in the P. G. Wodehouse vein.

352 pages, Hardcover

First published October 5, 2011

About the author

John Jacobsen is a 1985 graduate of the United States Merchant Marine Academy. He has been a work-in-progress ever since. During the 1990 Gulf War, aka, Desert Storm, he circumnavigated the globe on the good ship MV Cape Edmont, a Ro/Ro (roll-on/roll-off) ship carrying-- you guessed it-- “rolling stock,” as the military calls its tanks and jeeps and trucks. Jacobsen took to calling the Edmont not a Ro/Ro ship, but a Doe/Doe (drag-on/drag-off) ship, as none of the military’s rolling stock actually rolled. Desert Storm, unfortunately, gave Jacobsen lots of material for his journal.

Next came several eventful years aboard the S.S. Constitution, a cruise ship plying the waters of Hawaii. Jacobsen’s journal runneth over aboard the Connie, as she was affectionately known. A book could be written-- and just may be-- about the captain, a Chinese American named Wu who insisted every conversation with him end with the other person saying, “Thank you, Captain Wu,” a book title if ever there was one. It was in Hawaii that Jacobsen learned to fly small planes, and it was a small plane indeed, a Cessna 182, that Jacobsen ended up flying across the Atlantic to visit his relations in Ireland. He'll never do that again.

Following his stint in Hawaii, Jacobsen became a harbor pilot in the Port of Miami where he pilots ships of all sizes in and out of Miami. When he’s not piloting ships he can be found around town giving a talk to civic organizations on “What is a harbor pilot?” a humorous talk filled with anecdotes and, well, more anecdotes. As Captain Jacobsen tells it, even though the job of harbor pilot is one of the world’s oldest professions and is mentioned in the Bible (Ezekial), he’s been a harbor pilot for eighteen years and his own mother still asks what airline he flies for.

Jacobsen's first novel, A Commodore of Errors, brings to life the arcane but never dull world of the merchant marine.

Reviews

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Commodore of Errors is a fantastic read. It's satirical nature will having you laughing throughout. Jacobsen has done for the Merchant Marines what Carl Hiaasen has done for politics. The situations and characters are hysterical and yet in the back of your mind, you know that they exist. This novel will take you behind the scenes to Long Island, NY at the Merchant Marine Academy and then half way around the world as you sail from Singapore to New York. Just when you think you have everything figured out, the surprises keep coming.

A truly fresh read by an up and coming author, John Jacobsen. Only someone that lived the life as a ship captain could write with such insight and detail into this motley cast of characters. The writing style is smart and intelligent, leaving the the savvy reader both enlightened and entertained.

[Harry Lane · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this one, I really did. Got into Book 2 before giving up on it. My impression is that Jacobsen was going for something like the bawdy humor one finds in the work of Thorne Smith (who wrote the Cosmo Topper series, for those too young to remember.) He fails on two levels, it seems to me. The characters are imbecilic, by design. The sex is merely raunchy, without entertainment value. I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway.

[Susanna Froese · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was hot and cold for me up until the Captain Tannenbaum was introduced and the story continued from aboard his ship. It then became very humorous and I enjoyed the remainder of the book very much.

I received the book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.

[Venus Smurf · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a surprisingly funny book. The old lady was an absolute hoot, and her antics alone would have made the book worthwhile. Granted, the humor was a little crass for me at times, but overall, I enjoyed this book immensely.

[Paula Ackley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny. I found myself chuckling to myself a few times. Hoo hoo. Ha ha. Very easy reading. I loved all the interconnections between the characters. All the Yiddish wording took me back to growing up in the Bronx. They were spot on.

[Sonia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only got a few chapters in and decided it wasn't a book I wanted to read. Sad, too, because it sounded like a funny story.

[Teri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A funny story. A great light hearted read for a grey, rainy day.

[Wayne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a book that I received as a First reads winner from Goodreads.
Very entertaining! A reader can recognize acquaintances in many of the characters.

[Krisanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I agree with the reviewer who described the characters as imbecilic. I slogged through it but it never lived up to the laughs promised by the plot summary.

[Canan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really funny. Catch-22-like.