Small Boat, Vast Ocean: My Years in Solitary Buddhist Retreat

by Diane Rigdzin Berger

"In this lyrical exposition, Diane takes the reader through the details of life in long-term retreat, the big and little ups and downs, the challenges of balancing the practical and the ideal, the periods of peace and the unexpected interruptions, the triumphs and tribulations, the intimate conversations with nature in all its different guises, the discovery of the peace of silence, and the unfolding of understanding, elusive, unanticipated, and stunning in its clarity and simplicity."
- Ken McLeod, author of Wake Up To Your Life , and The Magic of Vajrayana " Small Boat, Vast Ocean provides a rare and fascinating glimpse into the heart of solitary spiritual practice. Berger is an eloquent writer whose book reveals the challenges, illuminating insights, and beauty of her plunge into the inner ocean of psyche and spirit."
- Brian Hodel, co-author of Embracing The Common Ground of Science and Spirituality "An intimate look at healing and devotion through a spiritual journey that most people will never have a chance to experience. A celebration of the sacred within the mundane, inspiring each of us to slow down long enough to appreciate this tender life we lead."
- Lodro Rinzler, author of The Buddha Walks into a Bar and Take Back Your Mind
In this time of “serial distraction,” an American woman chose to jump feet first into solitary retreat in the Tibetan tradition—lasting three and a half years. Based on her journal writing, Small Boat, Vast Ocean brings the reader intimately into her unfolding inner and outer adventure. It’s the story of what this form brought forth from the psyche, how healing was found, then giving way to a true spiritual journey.

This story is told through a “collage” of expository writing, reflection, letters, essays, poetry, and observations of the natural world, offered in chronology. An honest relaying of experience, it includes meetings with bears, scorpions, one cougar, and other adventures while making this oceanic crossing, soul’s journey.

The Buddhist ideal of “journey without goal” sums up the classic paradox of spiritual a seemingly unattainable balancing of the endeavor toward enlightenment, with a profound acceptance of what is. Berger’s reflections on the process of further and further quieting, leads one to understand how this is possible.

301 pages, Paperback

Published March 1, 2023

Reviews

[Janis Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This tender journal-memoir of a woman’s three-year solitary Buddhist retreat is like going on a retreat yourself. It will slow you down as you take in all the small stuff that is really the big stuff, like the author does in this unique book. Observations of the natural world, personal reflections, challenges both inner and outer, and ultimately a deepening into, this author has intimately shared her very self with us, which feels sacred in itself.

[Vanessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not fit for review because it's so personal, how to judge someone's retreat journal? If there is any book, I would love to read, it is an inside look, the inward journey of a buddhist retreat complete with dreams. Some aspects were surprising--the retreat was not as secluded as I would have imagined. There was something I didn't sink into but can't put words to. However, it normalised retreat and made me feel like retreat is flexible and possible. Very cool to read about a Western woman with a family and responsibilities (although class was one aspect that was hard to relate to) taking on spiritual practice in this way.