Grey Matters: Poems About Mental Health and Healing

by Kristen Costello

Struggle is universal. But talking about it? Well, that’s not always encouraged – especially when those struggles involve mental illness. Grey Matters is a poetry collection that urges us to have conversations about the things we’re told to suppress – to bring our darkness to light. It provides refreshingly honest and relatable depictions of anxiety, depression, and eating disorders while also offering sparks of hope to readers – healing may not be a linear process, but over time, it is possible. Things aren’t always black and Sometimes, the very thing you’re fighting (your own mind) can also be what saves you. Hundreds of thousands of fans across TikTok, Instagram, and other social media platforms have resonated with Costello’s poetry and her ability to depict familiar feelings in new, striking ways. Grey Matters is her debut collection – if you enjoy reading poetry that leaves you feeling understood, comforted, and inspired, this book is for you.

Genres: Poetry, Mental Health

143 pages, Paperback

Published March 22, 2023

About the author

Kristen is a poet, speaker, and mental health advocate who lives in Central New Jersey (yes, it exists!). She is the author of two full-length poetry collections: Grey Matters and Tidal Pools and Other Small Infinities. Her work explores themes such as love, loss, mental health, personal growth, and healing. When she’s not writing, you can find her beachcombing, watching space documentaries, or buying more books than she can carry.

Reviews

[Cherlynn | cherreading · Rating 4 out of 5]

Feels like a beacon of light, both in life and in the poetry genre.

I was surprised by not just how much I ended up liking this collection, but also how much I could relate to it. The author describes her feelings, thoughts and struggles with so much vivid imagery. I loved the second half more because of how deeply I could resonate with it, especially the segment about eating disorders.

The poems about Healing were so incredibly empowering and inspiring; I loved the reminders about celebrating small wins. Other favourites include: • Destructive Constructions • Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner • Freeway • Reminder.

My only regret is not finishing this book earlier. Truly a stand-out collection that makes you feel less alone, that gets it. I can't wait for the author's next one!

Thank you to the author and Netgalley for the ARC.

[Jenni Sauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zero stars for my decision to read this while working because it made me cry xD All the stars because it's an incredible book about depression, body image, and healing. I received a free ebook copy but will be buying a paperback to add to my collection, this was beautiful and jumped to the list of favorite poetry books

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free ebook copy of this book. No review was required and all thoughts are my own

[Sherry Bice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im a hit or miss when it comes to poetry but I enjoyed this!
I found really resonate with some of the anxiety and body issues topics.
It's nice to know that you're not alone and this book makes you feel valid which is so touching.
Super easy to read and very heartfelt.

[MerLuni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don‘t read much poetry but this was super easy to read and understand, which I love.
I saw parts of myself in so many poems which makes my feelings more seen and valid to me.

Thank you NetGalley for the arc

[The Bibliophile Doctor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I watered all the plants except for me and wondered why I wilted.

The thing about mental illness be it depression, anxiety or anything else, we keep it so hush hush that talking about it is considered a big deal. Like the blurb of the book says - struggle is real but talking about is well , that is not always encouraged.

When I myself suffered from anxiety, talking to friends was like a gateway for me. It helped ease my symptoms, it helped me find a way to "find help." Yes you heard it right. Even after being a doctor, it wasn't easy to get help.

Depression is a spiral staircase inside an elevator sinking down a well.

So I could relate to these poems with more depth, emotions & fervor. They hurt me , healed me, soothed me like a balm which burns at first but relieves the pain later.

The poems are short and to the point and it made them easier to grasp and understand. Kristen has touched all the subjects related to mental illness, from how one experiences depression to how it feels to finally get better after what feels like a lifelong struggle.

Tell the the hard time not to get to attached to me , I'm only passing through.

Thank you Netgalley and Kristen Costello for providing me with ARC in exchange of an honest review.

#netgalley #greymatters #kristencostello

[Booksandheart23 · Rating 5 out of 5]

*!!Trigger warnings: talks of mental health with themes on depression/anxiety, ED, and SH!!*

  Struggle is common, but talking about these experiences is not. Kristen Costello shows courage in her works by not downplaying their reality for the reader. We travel with them on the journey through the lowest lows, through messy mediums, and then back to a place where creation and living can thrive again in this collection of poems.

  There are four sections relating to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and healing.  It proves that life can be ups and downs, but remember: It can always go up again.

  I personally found multiple poems relatable and was touched by all of them in some way. My favorite pieces are "performance," "Processes Power," "Missing Out," and "Destructive." I'd like to leave an honorary mention to "Numeric Neuroses" which displays the imagery I believe many women encounter receiving any form of Healthcare, especially with an ED, and how it feels to go unseen and untreated, while being gaslight about being "just fine".

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading and reflecting on this collection of poems was an incredible experience. Each poem was insightful and thought provoking and I especially appreciated the courage it took to be as vulnerable as Kristen Costello was with her writing. So many of the poems in this collection made me seen - which in turn also helped me feel a little less alone. A number of the poems also gave me hope! My husband and I had some great chats around the topics of mental health, anxiety, and depression as a result of this book; it opened the lines of communication and helped each of us express ourselves more clearly on these topics. I can’t wait to purchase this book so that I can reread it and see what other treasures I uncover.

Thank you NetGalley for the advanced electronic copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Natasha M. Nurse, Esq. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was very excited when I saw this book on Amazon because I thought it was brilliant to combine mental health and poetry into a single book. There were some good poems but overall definitely nothing to cry home about 😔

[Baihe (Lily) Yang · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a soft spot for poetry and Grey Matter makes me feel so relatable. Costello’s words by words are captivating & they hit the right spot. I love it especially as the book begins with poems on anxiety & ends with healing. I thought that I would not be able to feel the struggle of suffering from eating disorders but I’m wrong. For me, Costello was able to make me realize that poetry is magical in its own way, which is why I love poetry so much.

‘and now I know
I can only be full
when I’m
full.’
~ Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.

@NetGalley, thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this debut poetry collection by Costello 🙏🏼

[Angeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the poems in this book - they were powerful and encapsulated raw emotions really well. Having struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life, these poems were very relatable, which made me enjoy them even more.

Shoutout to how the poems were written as well! The way the lines and stanzas were written felt intentional, which helped to emphasise on certain points, unlike some other poetry books I’ve read before.

Thank you NetGalley and Kristen Costello for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Gab · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this collection.

Kristen Costello has this ability to create strong images that convey emotions and vibes so perfectly.

I love that it is separated in different sections so if you want to go through poems about anxiety but without reading about depression, you can do so (which other mental health related collections don't offer as many alternate poems about different conditions).

I love that the range of texts cover different aspects of each theme; anxiety is more than just worrying, depression isn't just feeling empty. The collection reflects how encompassing living with mental health difficulties can be.

The book ends with a section on healing, not in a self-help tips way, but through snippets of the journey to getting better, a celebration of small victories and acceptance of the process.


TW for the collection: anxiety, depression, eating disorders

Thank you NetGalley and Kristen Costello for the opportunity to read this ARC. I'm excited to read more by Kristen.

This collection is out now, available through the author's instagram

[CatsBnB · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Kristen Costello for granting me access to this book in exchange for an honest review.

What an exquisite collection of poetry by Kristen Costello! I have throughly enjoyed this collection of honest and relatable poems. Grey Matters deals with sensitive topics relating to anxiety, depression, body image, eating disorders and healing. I am such a mood reader and today I just needed to read a book that helped me feel all the emotions. Such a powerful, heartfelt and inspiring read!🩵🩷🦋💜🌼

"I watered all the flowers except for me
and wondered why I wilted"

"they said they never would have guessed never could tell by looking at me
But wasn't that by design?
for a while I worked harder at hiding myself than finding help
for a while I thought alone meant strong and strong meant quiet and quiet meant
nothing"

"Tell the hard times not to get too attached to me -
I'm only passing through"

"I am the light and the tunnel
There are no detours-
no poppy-paved shortcuts
I am my only way out"

"you are not yet where you want to be-
but you aren't where you were
and that's worth celebrating"

[Madelyn Rowland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Kristen Costello for providing a digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

My only thought is, 'Wow!' What a thought-provoking collection of poems! Each was so beautifully written and formulated. I could not put this book down. My favorites specifically were...

Mind's Attic
Missing Out
Perceptions
Reminder
Kingdom

I highly recommend it! It's fairly short, but each poem had me sitting and reflecting and contemplating the meaning behind each word. I would definitely read and reflect again!!

My ultimate favorite has to be...

they said
they never would have guessed
never could tell
by looking at me

But wasn't that by design?

for a while
I worked harder at hiding
myself
than finding
help

for a while
I thought alone
meant strong
and strong
meant quiet
and quiet
meant
nothing
was wrong

-Perceptions by Kristin Costello

[Ken Foxley · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I watered all the flowers except for me and wondered why I wilted."

When I first saw the Content Warning (CW) for this book I was a little nervous as some of these things upset me a little bit, but overall, while I appreciated the CW I actually really did enjoy this book. Costello goes on to describe a lot of things I have also been through in my short time, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and she has such a lovely way of describing something so tricky to describe to those who do not suffer with these things. She also sheds light on healing, how to heal and her process with healing, as far as the poems go. One of my favorite highlights was on 'Fixation' and it is: "Would you like to relive that conversation over and over again for the next seventy-two hours? Because really, it would be my pleasure." This is something a lot of people with anxiety, myself included, deal with and have to deal with on a daily basis. What could have been said differently? What could I have added? What could I have avoided saying all together? As someone who hyper fixates on a lot of things, especially conversations, past or present, her entire sections on Fixation and Anxiety really hits home for me.

I really enjoyed this book and I would love to read more by Kristen Costello, and I would definitely recommend this to a friend who has also gone through he same things as me and the author.

[Raschelle Mullette · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I watered
all the flowers
except for me
and
wondered
why I wilted."

Grey Matters exceeds my expectations. Its poetry resonates with the deep, dark thoughts we have all had. The poetry in this book covers many topics on mental health, including anxiety, suicide, and eating disorders.

Grey Matters is arranged thoughtfully and leads you through all the emotions behind the most common mental health topics, but it won't leave you in the dark. There are poems of healing and hope included in the mix.

I found many familiar thoughts and feelings throughout the poems in this book. Grey Matters is a book I will be rereading for many years.

"...Winging it still takes wings."

Thank you, NetGalley and Kristen Costello, for granting me access to this book in exchange for an honest review.

[EM Harding · Rating 4 out of 5]

It says a lot about the quality of the poetry that most of my kindle highlights for this collection are whole-ass poems. This writer definitely has talent, and the collection was full of the kind of potent little images that set my mind alight.

I did however feel like the collection as a whole could have done with some thinning. Each of the sections felt like it repeated itself a few too many times, and that perhaps it would have benefited from being worked into two books instead of one, so that the poems could really sing. Although I appreciate that not everyone reads a poetry book from front to back like I do. If you were dipping into the book every now and then, you probably wouldn't have the same issue.

But overall, fantastic writing and I'd love to read more from this poet.

[Julie Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful poetry collection! At the start, there are some poems on anxiety and depression, conveying a lot of emotions I’m definitely familiar with. Then, there was a section in eating disorders, which I found painfully relatable but absolutely loved reading! Lastly, there’s a section healing, again beautifully written work!!

Thank you NetGalley and Kristen Costello for the advance reader copy 😊

[Rick · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 60-year-old male, there were some poems I couldn’t relate to, but most of them spoke to a deep, closed-off part of my soul. I too struggle with anxiety, depression, and a crippling case of chronic perfectionism. It can be so overwhelming just to get out the front door some mornings. By the time I get to work, I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. The author knows, oh how she knows! This is powerful writing, and I commend her courage in speaking her truth while speaking for so many of us. Thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC they so kindly sent me for review.

[Jesse Level · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grammatical pet peeves aside (inaccurately using “farther” instead of “further”, an American author opting for the British spelling of “gray”, etc.), these poems are thoughtful and precise and affecting (and very relatable).

[marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

[thank you to netgalley for providing a e-copy in exchange of a review !]

I don't think I've ever read a poetry collection quite like this one
It is stunning !
I've found myself needing a few seconds to register the words, because of how impactful they were !
The anxiety section might be the best description of what it feels like I've ever read
My favorite poems : Performance - Fixation - Lost Leisure - Escape - Freeway
Definitely worth the read, and I'm very excited for her other book coming this year !

[Christina Valastro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked the way the poems were very clear on what they were addressing in each section and the final part on healing was very moving.

[Anastasiya M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one poetry book that I just loved. I've had a bad case of poetry collections this year and it was so great to find one that I could relate to.

The pieces are honest and raw and I'm so happy to see minimal repetition because nothing makes me want to close a book faster than reading the same thing over and over and over again. The collection covers a variety of sensitive topics without making the reader believe they are the problem and the problem is them, and it's not preachy about it. Well done!

Read more here: https://sincerelyyoursannie.wordpress...

[Heather Coffee_Kindle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of poems that focuses on struggles with mental health.
It's a collection that I feel a lot of people can identify with, although for me there were too many cliches.
I think we need to be clear and state that this book is about Mental Illness and Mental Health Problems (as everyone has Mental Health) and some may find it difficult to read, there is a lot to resonate with in these poems about the difficulties of living with Depression, Anxiety and Eating Disorders, but also the healing too.

Thank you NetGalley and Kristen Costello for the opportunity to read this ARC.

[Amanda Pierson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the author for granting me access to this book in exchange for a review.
When I say that I’ve not been moved by poetry as much as I was moved by this collection isn’t an understatement. This author the masterful in putting all of my confusing thoughts into words so lyrical and poignant that you can’t help but sit in awe and meditate on them thinking “that’s exactly how it feels”.
Recommend this book sooooo much!

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

☆☆3.5 stars☆☆

"today I think in black and white and feel nothing but grey"

Grey Matters, Kristen Costello's debut poetry collection, captures life from the perspective of those who suffer from anxiety, depression and eating disorders with heartbreaking accuracy. As someone who has struggled with these issues, several of the poems resonated with what I have experienced. Of course, every individual has a different story to tell and this collection reflects one woman's personal journey. These poems speak from Costello's soul, through the pain and the missteps, the ups and the downs, showing tremendous courage in her writing and in her willingness to share her story with the world.

Musings and streams of consciousness characterize the writing style with the narration feeling like a conversation one would have while drinking a cup of coffee with a friend. Some of the poems read like letters to the people who made a difference to the author on her path towards recovery and are filled with honest thoughts and gratitude. The title of the book and the gorgeous artwork on the cover fit perfectly with the tone of the writing and beautifully portray the inherent conflicts within the mind.

One of my favorite poems and perhaps the most metaphorically powerful:

💌The Eighth Day💌
"Everything bloomed for one week – seven pinkish-white days before spring retreated back into winter’s open mouth. For once, I want eight great days all lined up in a row – dominoes glued to a table glued to the floor. I want flowers erupting from my feet, twisting their stems up my legs, looping up and across my waist, my arms, my chest, until you can’t see my core through all the growth."

Some of my other personal favorites that I most identify with or find meaningful:
💌Fixation💌 a very real look at obsessive thoughts
💌Reflection💌 a reminder that I'm not alone in my fears of not being enough
💌Staring Contest💌 a focus on the need to bravely face one's faults in order to conquer them
💌Rebirth💌 a hope for new beginnings

And I love this one for its beautiful simplicity:

💌Cracking Cocoons💌
"Today, I’ve become a butterfly uprising – black and orange, pink and white, a flutter of fervor a flurry of flight."

The poems in this collection emphasize the importance of awareness and discussion of mental illness yet they also find light within the shadows and darkness. Kristen Costello has struggled but she also offers the reader hope towards healing through the growth she has achieved. Her poetry shows her strength and resilience, her optimism shines through her despair and her ability to rise when she falls motivates others to move forward. I believe many of her poems would be valuable for use as positive affirmations and I plan to refer back to them often.

"No, you are not yet where you want to be – but you aren’t where you were and that’s worth celebrating."

** Special thanks to author Kristen Costello and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Quotes subject to change at time of publication. Available March 22, 2023. **

[Kim Lockhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Kristen Costello for providing a digital copy of this themed poetry collection for review.

The title 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒚 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 is a clever play on words: referring both to the grey matter of the brain, and to the need to better attend to issues of both mental health and to effective ways of healing (which alleviate, and do not accelerate harm). Also, we are reminded that the grey area is the in-between, those shadowy areas between black and white, where things aren't as easy to see, define, or grasp.

The poems are organized under several headings:

Anxiety
Depression
Eating Disorders
Healing

As we know, anxiety and depression can be closely related. The poet understands the damage that unexpressed emotions can do. That kind of sublimation can make a person ill, in every sense.

Costello accurately and palpably conjures the feeling of anxiety: a galloping, frenetic horse race. Even facing the day can be a challenge. The poet unlocks the reasons why social situations can be so difficult for some, and she gives the best description of generalized anxiety I've ever read.

Honestly, knowing that someone else besides me has obsessed over every mistake they've ever made, feels like a heady combination of solidarity and relief.

There are a lot of great thoughts and musings in this section, everything from why some people avoid confrontation while others look for a fight, to a consideration I'd never thought of: is there even any evolutionary advantage to the way we feel?

The metaphors in the poems regarding depression are just spot-on. I really felt those descriptions and saw those images.

The third section was one of least familiarity to me, but I've tried to learn more about it.

Though it may not be the section which resonates the most with each reader's experience, the last section is hope-filled and sun-strong. It's a nature walk when the temperature is perfect and the backlighting provides effortlessly great images. At least, that's the way it felt to me.

This is a thoughtful collection, worthy of your time and attention. I would like to read more by this author.

[Ashley Love Sellers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and Kristin Costello for allowing me to review this book.

“No, you are not yet where you want to be – but you aren’t where you were and that’s worth celebrating.”

– Reminder

Vulnerable, raw, and genuine. Grey Matters is Kristin Costello’s open letter to the world about her experiences with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and ultimately her healing process. Content warnings are available at the beginning of the book, which I always appreciate, but I didn’t find her work upsetting. I actually found comfort in her words because they were so relatable. Poems like “Fixation”, “Instincts”, “Depression Naps”, and “How I Get Dressed” gave me pause. Was it possible I wasn’t the only one who had experienced things like this? The familiarity and truthfulness in Costello’s words connected with all my broken pieces; I could relate because I’d been there – I had experienced that.

While I did enjoy Costello’s work it’s important to remember poetry is subjective. A poem might miss the mark the first read, but may be deeply meaningful during another season of life. I found Costello’s work heavy during this current season in my life, and had to put the book down several times. There was no “powering through” – her words needed to be processed and considered, even if they were beautiful. Phrases like “shipwrecking hands” (“Submerged”) has me highlighting the text, and I’m certain if I had a physical copy of this book it would’ve been annotated quite a bit.

Costello has a unique voice, both fresh and wounded, and fans of Atticus and Rupi Kaur will definitely enjoy her work. She’s definitely a poet to keep an eye on.

[kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ERC through recommendation from my creative writing teacher (shout out Mr. D) and got through it pretty quickly. Costello’s style and format is similar to Rupi Kaur, tackling issues of mental illness, despair, and healing. Her poems focus on translating into words moments of extreme emotion or, in some cases, lack of emotion and the eventual fear that arises from that realization.

As someone who struggles with mental illness and has many people I care about who also struggle with it, I definitely felt seen by this book. Some of my favorites included “Public Speaking”, “Achievements”, and “Polished”. It probably wasn’t the intended reaction to the poem, but “Public Speaking” made me laugh a bit because of how similar it was to my experiences stressing over having the perfect presentation for class or speech for speech & debate, only to later have my heart jump out of my chest anyways. On the other hand, “To The Nurse Who Complimented My Weight Loss” and “To My Outpatient Group” felt like a punch in the gut.

Costello’s writing is raw and honest, and it often felt like I was peeking into a diary found in the corner of a thrift shop, seeing and identifying with the pain and hurt of a stranger. However, I have to admit that the writing isn’t really my preferred style, as at times it felt a bit simplistic. Still, there were many, many moments of gold held within. Despite it not being my usual style, I enjoyed myself, and would definitely recommend it to a friend.

[Taura Wildes · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every word that leaves my mouth is a word I should have weighed beforehand”

‘Grey Matters’ is a collection of poetry that delves into themes surrounding anxiety, depression, eating disorders and healing. These poems are beautifully honest and easy to relate to if you have ever experienced these things yourself.

Costello depicts how we learn to hide our darkness and can end up feeling like your issues are all you are. The imagery depicting anxiety is amazing at representing it on a physical level, which can give non-sufferers an idea of what it’s like to go through.

I loved they way Costello touched upon how anxiety has been warped in our evolution and how we can always feel threatened even though there is no real threat. I also like that she demonstrated how anxiety can take you away from your life due to obsessing over conversations and becoming forgetful due to how full your mind is.

A few of my favourite poems were “A Water Wish”, “Lost Leisure”, “Perceptions” and “My Geometry”.

The poems surrounding anxiety and depression really resonated with me as they are such creative and accurate representations of what happens when suffering with these ailments. Although I’ve never experienced an eating disorder I could still take something away from the poems, especially the ones that emphasise that we are all so much more than the shape of our body.

I liked how the final section, recovery, left me feeling hopeful and positive. After exploring some heavy themes through the poems it was nice to end the book on a lighter note and also be reminded that no matter how dark it gets, you can get through it.

Such a beautiful collection of poems.

[Jenny Radloff · Rating 5 out of 5]

In diesem Gedichtband beschäftigt sich die Autorin mit psychischen Erkrankungen. Die Gedichte in diesem Buch sind daher vier Kategorien untergeordnet: über Angst, über Depression, über Essstörungen und übers Heilen. Diesen sehr sensiblen Themen widmet sich die Autorin in persönlichen Gedichten, die mir erneut aufgrund ihrer bildlichen Sprache sehr gefallen haben. Die verschiedenen psychischen Problematiken wurden anhand konkreter Gedanken und Verhaltensweisen aus dem Alltag sehr eindringlich und nachvollziehbar dargestellt. Ich hatte den Eindruck, die Gefühle des lyrischen Ichs nachempfinden und verstehen zu können.
Eine wunderschöne Gedichtsammlung, die zugleich unterhält und aufklärt und so einer gesellschaftlichen Gruppe, die oft übersehen wird, Gehör schenkt. Sehr empfehlenswerte 4,5 Sterne.


In English:

In this volume of poetry, the author deals with mental illness. The poems in this book are therefore divided into four categories: about anxiety, about depression, about eating disorders and about healing. The author devotes herself to these very meaningful topics in personal poems, which I really liked because of their figurative language. The various psychological problems were presented very vividly and comprehensibly using concrete thoughts and behaviors from everyday life. I had the impression that I could empathize and understand the feelings of the lyrical self.
A beautiful collection of poems that entertains and enlightens at the same time, giving voice to a social group that is often overlooked. Highly recommended 4.5 stars.