Swallowing Grandma

by Kate Long

Katherine Millar is eighteen, and desperate for lots of things - to be thinner and less swotty, and to have cooler friends. But most of all she wishes that she had two parents instead of one grandma, Poll. Katherine's father, Poll's adored only son, was killed in a car crash when she was a baby. According to Poll, the crash was the fault of Katherine's mother, who disappeared shortly afterwards and hasn't been seen since. Poll is pushing seventy, half-blind and utterly poisonous. Her ambition is for things to stay exactly the same for ever, and for Katherine never to leave their pit village of Bank Top; indeed for her to leave the house only when strictly necessary. Katherine has other ideas, especially when on her birthday she receives a mysterious parcel of glamorous, grown-up clothes - so unlike the ones Poll makes her wear. And then the handsome and self-assured Callum turns up, claiming to be a cousin she never knew she had. Katherine can feel that change is coming; the omens are all around her. In the meantime, she cleans up after Poll, revises for her exams, watches daytime television and surfs the net at the library trying to find out how to be bulimic. What she doesn't quite realize yet is that life won't always wait for you to catch up. "Swallowing Grandma" is a perceptive, vivid and painfully funny novel about the ties of love and hatred, and the ways in which our versions of the past can thwart our visions for the future. In Katherine and Poll, Kate Long has created two unforgettable characters locked in an epic battle over whose side of the story will ultimately prevail.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Contemporary, Young Adult, Book Club, Womens Fiction, Family Drama

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Hello! And welcome to my GoodReads author page.

New: Pinterest boards!
https://www.pinterest.com/volewriter/... - For my new novel, Something Only We Know

http://pinterest.com/volewriter/bank-... See where Charlotte, Karen and Nan actually live!

and my Bad Mothers Facebook page, with lots of background info on the characters and filming: http://www.facebook.com/BadMothersUnited


I write bittersweet novels about family drama and personal crises, especially stories involving the relationship between mothers and daughters.

I like my books to ask questions such as, What makes a parent good or bad? In what way does a family's history shape its present? How can we make the best of the hand which life has dealt us?

My characters tend to have 'ordinary' backgrounds - but actually I think no one is truly ordinary. We all have amazing tales to tell of risk and loss, survival and disaster and triumph, on whatever scale. The most intense dramas are often played out across a domestic stage, with unexpected discoveries and revelations, patterns repeated or shattered forever, bonds broken and new alliances formed.

I've found myself as a reader that meeting such issues in fiction can help me make sense of the real world around me.

Recurring themes in my books include adoption, pregnancy/fertility issues, mental health, sexuality, disability, infidelity and the breaking of family secrets. I also tend to set the action in a specific place around Lancashire, Cheshire or Shropshire.

Reviews

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a random pickup from the library, on a rare occasion when I actually went there physically instead of having my husband pick up or return books on my behalf!

I was impressed by the Sarah Bird endorsement on the back of the book. It took a few pages to get captured by the book, but once I settled in I really enjoyed it.

It is a very BRITISH book...more so than so-called "chick lit," which is often written halfway for American readers. I've been married to a Brit for 18 years now (and have known him for 21), and I had to ask him a few vocabulary questions every now and then...such as "what is a penguin?" (It's a chocolate bar...coincidentally, he even happened to have one in his possession, because a British friend gave him one the other day!)

"Family Sold Separately" is about an 18-year-old girl who has grown up with her slightly crazy, going-blind, and grumpy grandma. Her dad was killed in a car crash when she was a baby, and her mum abandoned her. She's overweight, lacks self-confidence, and desperately craves a sense of identity and belonging.

She doesn't quite get all of that by the end of the book, but she's on her way. The book has the type of ending my husband would like...it's not all neatly tied up at the end. The characters are complex, and the writing funny (and sad) and lively. I will definitely seek out her other books.

[Despina Frantzi♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was such an amazing book.It described the life of a young adult who tries to get through life under the pressure of her grandma.Also,it's really funny and it deserves a read!

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, it is quite funny. It's about a teenager, Katherine (Kat) who lives with and resentfully cares for her almost blind gran. Kat and her gran don't get on. Then Callum turns up, claiming to be a cousin, and we realise from another stream of narrative, that Kat's Mum, who abandoned her as a baby, is someone that she knows. Who could it be?

[Plum-crazy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mainly told from Katherine's view, with excerpts from the mother she never knew, this is a perceptive, funny & sometimes slightly sad tale about the obligations & duties that are part of family life. Katherine both loves & loathes her Grandma Poll (who can be a difficult character to say the least!) But she's all the family she has...or is she?

This book that kept me hooked to the end, wondering whether Katherine would find the strength to break away from Poll or would family ties prove too binding? A really good read.

[Melanie O'Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one was tucked at the back of the drawer, nearly in the bag for the charity shop but I’m so glad I read it before it went. I absolutely loved it and it was a pleasure to read! Warm, funny, sad in places, everything about it I loved. Brilliant 👏

[Nina Harlacher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was one of the first books I read in English years ago. I loved it so much even though I was struggling with the British slang words. The main character, Kat, was written with so much care that she still has a place in my heart. Everyone who enjoyed this in their teens will also love “How to build a Girl” by Caitlin Moran. Both characters have the same feel to me: an underdog character who is so lovable with her out-off-placeness and whit.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book hard going. None of the characters seemed to love themselves or others. Katherine (Kat) is left to shift for herself with a verbally abusive grandmother who is a chronic liar and gaslights Kat every time her perverted friend invades the poor girl's privacy. It's no wonder she's a bitter, foul-mouthed teen who develops an eating disorder. All of which is to say that all this unpleasantness makes the book's resolution difficult to believe.

[Hilary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this very much indeed; the publisher's marketing department is doing the author no favours by trying to jacket it in with the girlie books. This is a sharp, incisive story of a fat, spotty misfit forced to live with her utterly poisonous, completely unpleasant, and entirely believable grandmother, with some eating disorders and almost-incest thrown in for good measure.

[Laurie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book though I found the ending to be a bit of a letdown. The whole thing was, at times, somewhat predictable, and the subject of Katherine's bulimia is barely touched upon despite it being a major medical and psychological issue. Regardless, as a whole it was a great read.

[Helen Maltby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this and was able to relate to Katherine's character right from the start (not that I ever lived with a poisonous grandma or anything!). This was the first Kate Long book I've read and I would now like to read her other book.

[Juliana Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is hilarious! Great characterisation of the 18 year old about to face the world outside her small town life and the emotional blackmail that her cantankerous old grandma inflicted. Highly recommended.

[Lightblue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Carino, niente di eccezionale ma, al contrario di quanto possa sembrare dal titolo, affronta temi anche interessanti come la bulimia, i primi approcci con il sesso, la voglia di scoprire se stessi. Una chick lit piu' elevata del normale.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as good as, The Bad Mother's Handbook, but still a worthy read. Long has a real knack for getting to the core of people and finding out what makes them tick.

[Koralyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously funny, and totally down to earth. I love books that are believable, honest and realistic; this one is all three. I simply couldn't put it down.

[Jackie Bessford · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved it

[Lie · Rating 5 out of 5]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..........

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book. Kate Long's books are always gritty and down-to-earth, original in concept and thought provoking. Looking out for the next one to read!

[holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Swallowing grandma was quite an interesting book. Although the ending was really poor.

[Emma Clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5. Enjoyed and thought there were many interesting layers to this story but think the ending could have been elaborated a bit more.

[K.B. Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the fact this book was set in Chorley and captured the setting and characters well.

[Vicky Maher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite a few years ago now I read 'The Bad Mother's Handbook', also written by Kate Long, and fell in love with her writing style. Swallowing Grandma has also been around for quite a while now but it is still an excellent read nonetheless!

Kate's stories are raw and gritty, and as close to real life as you can get, although I will say that some people may struggle with the local dialect she sometimes uses if you are not from around that area (this story was set in Wigan in Lancashire).

The story revolves around 18 year old Katherine Millar, an intelligent yet self-doubting girl, who lives with her partially sighted grandmother, Pollyanna Millar. Katherine gets bullied at school by the popular kids for being overweight and 'too swotty', and Poll adds to this by constantly putting her down, keeping her confined to the house, only allowing her out when completely necessary, and teasing her for being big, telling her that no man will ever want her, etc, and this in turn encourages Katherine to dabble in Bulimia.

Roger, Katherine's father and Poll's only adored son, was killed in a car crash when Katherine was just a tiny baby. Poll always insisted that the accident was the fault of Katherine's mother, Elizabeth, who disappeared shortly afterwards, leaving Poll to take care of Katherine, who has virtually kept her a prisoner for eighteen years. Desperate to throw off the chains of confinement, Katherine locks horns with her grandmother, demanding more freedom, that she should be able to come and go as she pleases now that she is of age. This doesn't go down well with Poll and she swiftly embarks on her own campaign to place Katherine on a guilt trip, deliberately pouring hot water down herself, amongst other things, to make Katherine feel bad for wanting to spend more time away from her.

Katherine finds sanctuary at her local library, forming a strong bond with the two resident librarians, Miss Ollerton and Miss Stockley. She settles into a life of being a reluctant carer, watching mind-numbing daytime television and fending off amorous advances from her grandmother's perverted friend and neighbour 'Dickie Dogman', until one day, the arrival of a mysterious cousin, laid-back, self assured Callum, throws her world into disarray. He brings about a change in Katherine and from that point onwards, her life takes a completely different path, with plenty of surprises thrown in for good measure.
I can honestly say that I didn't want this book to end, and I'm hoping the story will be made into a drama, as her last book was! Although this story was fictional, Kate Long captures unconventional family life in all it's fractured and nonsensical glory. For me, she understands perfectly that family is not always about being biologically related to someone else. In these messed up times, where related people no longer stick together through a sense of loyalty and belonging, you find family where you can, in the people who stick around because they want to, and not because they feel an obligation!

I highly recommend this book!

[Cliff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Katherine who wants to be called Kat is 18 years old. She lives with her Grandma, Pollyanna Millar, the only person with that name in England. Katherine is told that her birth mother was responsible for the death of her father, Poll's son. She disappeared leaving her baby daughter behind. The story covers Katherine's last few weeks at school when she takes her exams with the hope of getting a place at Oxford. The story deals with her self discovery and also the discovery of her family history. There are moments laughing out lad humour - like the time the school were on a visit to the zoo and Katherine was in possession of a silent dog whistle which she blew in a cave full of bats with results that can easily be imagined. The are also more serious moment a Katherine struggles with her conscience. Can she go to university and leave the near blind Poll to fend for herself. Can she overcome her innate shyness and lack of self worth and leave home? Good characters, good dialogue, good feeling of place.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Katherine Millar is eighteen and desperate to be less fat, less swotty and to have cooler friends. But most of all, she wishes she had two parents, instead of one grandma, Poll. Poll is pushing seventy, half blind and utterly poisonous. She has looked after Katherine since she was a baby, when her father was killed in a car crash and her mother vanished. Poll's ambition is for things to stay exactly the same for ever, and for Katherine never to leave their pit village of Bank Top. Katherine has other ideas, and she can feel change is coming; the omens are all around her. In the meantime, she cleans up after Poll, revises for her exams, watches daytime television and surfs the net at the library trying to find out how to be bulimic. What she doesn't quite realize yet is that life won't always wait for you to catch up with it."

I didn't enjoy this book quite as much as The Bad Mother's Handbook, but it's still a really good read.

[Tamara Forbes · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was “ok”, hence the 3 star rating. I didn’t think it was bad, I enjoyed the character, however I thought it dragged at times, and the ending was a bit abrupt and unexciting for me personally. I very rarely feel unsatisfied at the end of a book but I did with this one. I was happy for Kat that it all worked out for her but I just felt like “oh is that it?”.

I loved Kat, Cissie and Maggie throughout this book as well as the librarians that helped and supported Kat throughout, I especially loved Kats love for reading, however I was completely put off by how horrible Kats grandmas was to her throughout and especially Dogman, which I believe is why I didn’t enjoy this book as much as I wanted to…I also struggled with the dialect in this book when the characters were conversing, again I think this is a lot to do with me, my family and friends are VERY common when the speak, and speak very Doric/orry, however I was brought up to speak proper by my mum and wasn’t aloud to speak any other way, and so I struggled with it in my head, and found it hard for it to not sound ridiculous to me…

I sooo badly wanted this book to be amazing, however it wasn’t for me. I always follow my books through, even if they aren’t for me, because you never know what twists there’s going to be. I was surprised with the librarian twist, however it wasn’t enough for me.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a re-read for me and I definitely remember liking it more when I read it back in high school.

Overall I did enjoy it, but I had a couple of issues with the story, mainly how Kat's bulimia was understated despite being a serious medical illness, as well as how the characters didn't take Dogman's harassment of Kat seriously.

There were definitely some parts that made me laugh, and Kat was a decent protaganist, but I'd honestly be more interested in hearing her mum's or Poll's stories instead.

[Cathy Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. I didn’t want it to end and I am sad to leave Kat, Poll and Dogman behind.
This is essentially a coming-of-age tale. The relationship between Kat and her grandmother sits at the centre of the story and as Kat begins to learn more about herself and her past all the other characters have a part to play in her story. So much of what Kat thinks and feels is relatable, even if her situation is somewhat complex. I was rooting for her throughout. Brilliant writing all the way to the end.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written, believable dynamics and characters, but ultimately unlikeable. The story kind of just peters out, you see great change for Kat, but not really much attention given to the storyline of the other characters. She has her new life, but how will she integrate the other parts of her family into her life? It kept me interested all the way through tough, so qualifies as a good read. Great title!

[Pam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Women's lit. Two narratives interspersed with each other. One is Kat and the other is unidentified for a long time. Kat lives with her almost blind grandmother Poll, who doesn't let her be a teen. I just couldn't get into this book. Skipped the middle third.

[Samsam · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was so good but what the fuck was that part about being a lesbian but actually not really ? and also I didn’t get the point of the story with Donna it didn’t really get anywhere, but apart from that this book was pure plot twists and intense feelings all along

[Linda Fallows · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing, and at the same time, touching book. A young girl raised by her grandmother tries to assert her independence and become as cool as her classmates, with varying degrees of success. Family secrets emerge and the consequences are a big surprise.