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A Really Gay Villain Christmas #1
A Really Gay Book: It's Not Remotely About Christmas
Love in a time of no muffins and some evil.
I have the best luck ever; it’s terrible. You want it? It’s yours. But ask: Do you like being bored ALL the time because there are no challenges ever? Do you like being surrounded by people because no one will ever leave you alone? (Even in the bathroom, you’ll need to invest in some really good locks.) Do you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life because no one thinks they’re good enough for you? No? Me either!
I have the worst luck ever, It’s terrible. You want it? It’s yours. You get a lot of scars out of the deal. The campus darling is annoying. And beautiful. And smells like a garden after the rain. He’s the worst. And he’s a muffin thief. F**k that guy.
A Really Gay Book is set in the A Really Gay Villain Christmas Series. It’s a 30,000-word enemies-to-lovers story with possessiveness, extreme size difference, steamy times, and found family. (What’s a little bit of evil among family, right?)
I have the best luck ever; it’s terrible. You want it? It’s yours. But ask: Do you like being bored ALL the time because there are no challenges ever? Do you like being surrounded by people because no one will ever leave you alone? (Even in the bathroom, you’ll need to invest in some really good locks.) Do you want to be a virgin for the rest of your life because no one thinks they’re good enough for you? No? Me either!
I have the worst luck ever, It’s terrible. You want it? It’s yours. You get a lot of scars out of the deal. The campus darling is annoying. And beautiful. And smells like a garden after the rain. He’s the worst. And he’s a muffin thief. F**k that guy.
A Really Gay Book is set in the A Really Gay Villain Christmas Series. It’s a 30,000-word enemies-to-lovers story with possessiveness, extreme size difference, steamy times, and found family. (What’s a little bit of evil among family, right?)
128 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 14, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews
June 6, 2023
4.25**** stars
not a holiday romance
GAWD THIS WAS HILARIOUS! and so much fun to read. Also, super adorable. Absolutely recommend reading it. —*like, if you just need a cleanser or anything.
The book begins with Apple reminiscing about the tragedy that is his life. Too cool to be true, he seems to be luckiest guy ever (like really). Everything goes his way and people are bending over to worship him. Apple is annoyed and bored out of his mind.
On the other side of the story Adam might just be the unluckiest person that ever lived. Like coffee tables crash together whether he sits on them or just looks at them, doesn’t matter. IKEA already banned him from their warehouses for life.
One day, something weird happens. Apple crashes into Adam and gets his first time ever injury with a few scratches on his hand. (Adam already has a black eye from a tree branch that came out of nowhere.)
APPLE IS FASCINATED, and the hell excited. He immediately forms a masterplan.
Unlike every other person in town, Adam is not a fan of Apple (for reasons) but he can’t either resist that pull between them for long. And just like unusual and common bad-luck stuff suddenly happens to Apple, Adam gets far less injured and into random accidents since he’s close to Apple. —so luck and bad luck seem to rub off on each other.
SUCH A FUNNY STORY! It even has some good steamy moments.
And than there is the house Adam lives in. A group of weird people that is involved in strange/criminal (or rather villainous?) activities does live there with him. But they adopted him to their weird family and soon enough, Apple, spoiled that he is, decides he’s part of them now, too. And everyone agrees.
I loved it. Try it my friends, it’s only 116 pages.
I’m looking forward to the books that are about to come this December.
************
A Really Gay Villain Christmas Series
Villain Collective
Prequel - A Really Gay Book (Adam's Apple) - 4.25 stars
Book ? - 10 Ways to Kill Someone with a Fruitcake (Baz)
Book ? - Missiletoe (Vix)
*whichever the author decides to finish first
not a holiday romance
GAWD THIS WAS HILARIOUS! and so much fun to read. Also, super adorable. Absolutely recommend reading it. —*like, if you just need a cleanser or anything.
“Lucky in life, unlucky in love.”
The book begins with Apple reminiscing about the tragedy that is his life. Too cool to be true, he seems to be luckiest guy ever (like really). Everything goes his way and people are bending over to worship him. Apple is annoyed and bored out of his mind.
On the other side of the story Adam might just be the unluckiest person that ever lived. Like coffee tables crash together whether he sits on them or just looks at them, doesn’t matter. IKEA already banned him from their warehouses for life.
One day, something weird happens. Apple crashes into Adam and gets his first time ever injury with a few scratches on his hand. (Adam already has a black eye from a tree branch that came out of nowhere.)
APPLE IS FASCINATED, and the hell excited. He immediately forms a masterplan.
“There. I’m done. Go away now, please.”
“What if I pass out from blood loss?” I asked, beginning the opening salvo in my plan of staying with Adam forever.
“As long as you don’t do it here, I’m willing to risk it.”
When our future children ask when we started dating, my response will be ten minutes ago today.
Unlike every other person in town, Adam is not a fan of Apple (for reasons) but he can’t either resist that pull between them for long. And just like unusual and common bad-luck stuff suddenly happens to Apple, Adam gets far less injured and into random accidents since he’s close to Apple. —so luck and bad luck seem to rub off on each other.
SUCH A FUNNY STORY! It even has some good steamy moments.
And than there is the house Adam lives in. A group of weird people that is involved in strange/criminal (or rather villainous?) activities does live there with him. But they adopted him to their weird family and soon enough, Apple, spoiled that he is, decides he’s part of them now, too. And everyone agrees.
Adam washed my back while I clung to him in the shower. It was a bit slippery, but I was awesome, so I was able to stay right where I belonged, wrapped around Adam like a shield from anything the world wanted to throw at him.
I loved it. Try it my friends, it’s only 116 pages.
I’m looking forward to the books that are about to come this December.
************
A Really Gay Villain Christmas Series
Villain Collective
Prequel - A Really Gay Book (Adam's Apple) - 4.25 stars
Book ? - 10 Ways to Kill Someone with a Fruitcake (Baz)
Book ? - Missiletoe (Vix)
*whichever the author decides to finish first
November 12, 2023
This was mildly funny for a stretch and then started feeling insistent and labored. I think someone in the right frame of mind, which is a frame of mind I'm never in, might enjoy it.
March 15, 2024
Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.
I mentally updated my newly discovered kink to barely leashed violence tempered with unparalleled gentleness. There should be bruises and cuddles involved. And perhaps hot cocoa afterward.
This book was crazy fun, and just crazy. I’ve had the joy of reading four Zile books by now, and I really enjoy his writing. It flows so well and is just heaps of fun, even when dealing with more serious subjects like in Psync and Quiet. My good friend recommended I read this one, and I’m glad I finally did. If you want something that’s a little bit different, wildly entertaining and short, you should check this one out.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Super lucky MC
Super unlucky MC
Size difference
Human backpack
College students
Instalove
Mutual stalking
Virgin MCs
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Stalking (the friendly kind)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: No
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance with fantasy elements
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 20 and (assumed) 20
Series: Interconnected series, standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 128
Adam rolled his eyes. “You’re insane. You know that, right?” “Yep!” “My father told me to never put my dick in crazy, Adam,” Vale said unhelpfully. “Your dad was missing out,” Adam responded and earned himself another kiss.
Once we were dressed, I gave him pick me up! arms, and he lifted me back up without argument, settling my butt into the crook of one huge arm.
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
I mentally updated my newly discovered kink to barely leashed violence tempered with unparalleled gentleness. There should be bruises and cuddles involved. And perhaps hot cocoa afterward.
This book was crazy fun, and just crazy. I’ve had the joy of reading four Zile books by now, and I really enjoy his writing. It flows so well and is just heaps of fun, even when dealing with more serious subjects like in Psync and Quiet. My good friend recommended I read this one, and I’m glad I finally did. If you want something that’s a little bit different, wildly entertaining and short, you should check this one out.
⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️
⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Super lucky MC
Super unlucky MC
Size difference
Human backpack
College students
Instalove
Mutual stalking
Virgin MCs
⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Stalking (the friendly kind)
⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: No
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance with fantasy elements
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 20 and (assumed) 20
Series: Interconnected series, standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 128
Adam rolled his eyes. “You’re insane. You know that, right?” “Yep!” “My father told me to never put my dick in crazy, Adam,” Vale said unhelpfully. “Your dad was missing out,” Adam responded and earned himself another kiss.
Once we were dressed, I gave him pick me up! arms, and he lifted me back up without argument, settling my butt into the crook of one huge arm.
You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...
April 26, 2023
Very cute enemies to lovers vibes but not quite. I'm anxious to get the next one. Zile is a favorite author of mine and autobuy.
Read
May 1, 2023DNF @ 60% - too ridiculous for me, though I think that was the point? Maybe?
June 9, 2023
This was so much fun! It was hilarious and adorable and filled with so many intriguing side characters that I'm left eager for more. Adam and Apple fell into instant love, but it was done so well that I never doubted their connection. Plus I'm a sucker for a romances with a massive size difference and in here, that trope is done perfectly. Apple is a little koala and constantly being carried around, and I loved it. I highly recommend this when you want something equal parts funny and sexy.
January 6, 2024
Is......is this book serious? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I don't even know what to say here.
The mutual stalking was cute though.
The mutual stalking was cute though.
May 12, 2024
This is such a silly/fun/fluffy book and I loved every minute!!
Apple has all the luck in the world - literally. He jokes that he could jump off a building and survive by suddenly discovering that he can fly but things like that really do happen to him every day. It makes life very dull.
Adam is the opposite. Tree branches suddenly appear the whack him in the face when he’s walking, he always misses out on the last delicious pastry at the cafe, and he’s got first aid kits scattered all over his house because it’s absolutely necessary!
Together they somewhat balance each other out but the road to love is full of.. stalking??
“Husbands are supposed to listen.”
“Husbands?”
“Don’t get sidetracked by unimportant details.”
Apple has all the luck in the world - literally. He jokes that he could jump off a building and survive by suddenly discovering that he can fly but things like that really do happen to him every day. It makes life very dull.
Adam is the opposite. Tree branches suddenly appear the whack him in the face when he’s walking, he always misses out on the last delicious pastry at the cafe, and he’s got first aid kits scattered all over his house because it’s absolutely necessary!
Together they somewhat balance each other out but the road to love is full of.. stalking??
“Husbands are supposed to listen.”
“Husbands?”
“Don’t get sidetracked by unimportant details.”
January 8, 2025
Oh this was perfect insanity. Yes, that's a thing. But, let's go over the facts of this book, right?
First we have Apple (what a fun, quirky name!), who is the luckiest bastard in the world and he hates it. I mean... Honestly? The amount of luck he has? I'd find it tedious and boring too after a while. It does not sound like much fun. I'd like a smidge of his luck though. Just a tiny smidge.
Second, we have Adam, who is the opposite of Apple. He is extremely unlucky. He's also a part of a found family of guys who are... supervillains? Ish? They're fun and crazy and I loved them. But Adam hates being unlucky and also kind of hates Apple. Until they actually properly meet and shenanigans ensue. This includes some mild (attempted) stalking, luck shifting both ways, amazing sexy times, hilarious banter and absolute craziness.
Look, don't try to make sense of this or expect it to be rooted in reality, okay? Just suspend your disbelief for a while and enjoy this crazy ride. Zile's writing style flows so easily and is so very fun and light and honestly, I'm a fan now. You should be too, so go pick up this book and climb aboard the Zile Crazy Train. It's fun here, I promise.
First we have Apple (what a fun, quirky name!), who is the luckiest bastard in the world and he hates it. I mean... Honestly? The amount of luck he has? I'd find it tedious and boring too after a while. It does not sound like much fun. I'd like a smidge of his luck though. Just a tiny smidge.
Second, we have Adam, who is the opposite of Apple. He is extremely unlucky. He's also a part of a found family of guys who are... supervillains? Ish? They're fun and crazy and I loved them. But Adam hates being unlucky and also kind of hates Apple. Until they actually properly meet and shenanigans ensue. This includes some mild (attempted) stalking, luck shifting both ways, amazing sexy times, hilarious banter and absolute craziness.
Look, don't try to make sense of this or expect it to be rooted in reality, okay? Just suspend your disbelief for a while and enjoy this crazy ride. Zile's writing style flows so easily and is so very fun and light and honestly, I'm a fan now. You should be too, so go pick up this book and climb aboard the Zile Crazy Train. It's fun here, I promise.
Adam washed my back while I clung to him in the shower. It was a bit slippery, but I was awesome, so I was able to stay right where I belonged, wrapped around Adam like a shield from anything the world wanted to throw at him.
April 18, 2023
I am not really sure what I was reading. I didn't really feel the 2 MCs, at one point I actually thought Apple was a cat.
There also wasn't much of a story. I don't think I will be continuing with the series.
There also wasn't much of a story. I don't think I will be continuing with the series.
November 16, 2023
It’s ridiculous, OTT, insane, hilarious and so much fun!! Of course I loved it!!
December 28, 2024
"𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜. 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎."
I wish I could remember what fb group I saw this book recommended in because whoever suggested it deserves the highest of fives.
This was short and...sweet? Sweet wouldn't be the first word I'd use for Apple and Adam but it's one of them - and there are definitely some sweet moments. If your idea of sweet includes a super sexy size difference, one-sided animosity turned mutual stalking, ott possessive and obsessed mc's with enough funny stuff to make you lol in real life- then please run to KU and pick this up asap.
There may also be some super villainry happening - which I didn't realize at first download (even though it's literally in the series name) but am totally here for. As the title says, this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas… But from what I understand, the second book does and I'm gonna need to find out ASAP.
I wish I could remember what fb group I saw this book recommended in because whoever suggested it deserves the highest of fives.
This was short and...sweet? Sweet wouldn't be the first word I'd use for Apple and Adam but it's one of them - and there are definitely some sweet moments. If your idea of sweet includes a super sexy size difference, one-sided animosity turned mutual stalking, ott possessive and obsessed mc's with enough funny stuff to make you lol in real life- then please run to KU and pick this up asap.
There may also be some super villainry happening - which I didn't realize at first download (even though it's literally in the series name) but am totally here for. As the title says, this has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas… But from what I understand, the second book does and I'm gonna need to find out ASAP.
August 3, 2023
So Much Fun
This book may be short but it is just so much fun. I laughed quite a bit reading this and I can not wait to get book two when it comes out.
This book may be short but it is just so much fun. I laughed quite a bit reading this and I can not wait to get book two when it comes out.
December 24, 2024
3.5 ✨
December 31, 2023
This book was short and sweet. I’ve read a couple of other books by this author and I really liked those. This had the same kind of super natural vibe as the other series and takes place at Enchanted University.
So we meet Apple, yep that’s his name, and he is probably the luckiest guy in the world though his luck ends when it comes to finding love. Apple can literally do no wrong. He is good at everything he tries, he never gets hurt and people just flock to him always wanting to do things for him. Things come so easily for him and he actually hates it because he wishes he had some type of challenge in his life and he hates people fawning all over him.
Apple meets Adam and Adam is the first person Apple has come across who isn’t completely in love with him. In fact Adam hates Apple because of how lucky and beloved he is. Adam is the unlucky to Apples lucky. Where Adam is always getting hurt or almost killed and somehow never gets the pastry he wants because Apple just so happened to get the last one before he got there.
So when they meet they bump into each other causing Apple to fall down and get hurt. For the first time ever. Thus starts Apples obsession with Adam who clearly hates him and doesn’t want to give him the time of day. But that changes quickly after Adam kisses him for the first time.
This is like super insta love. It’s insta obsession, insta possessiveness and insta we are getting married in three days because that’s the soonest we could do it. So yeah if you’re not into insta anything you probably won’t like this but I like insta stuff in some cases.
This book was pretty ridiculous, which I mean I don’t mind ridiculous at all. It was also super funny. These guys are super obsessed with each other. They stalk each other and neither of them is aware of it lol. They get together quickly since it’s just a short book but it was a nice little break from all the slow burns I’ve been reading.
There is a found family here of “supervillains”. It’s definitely giving off Umbrella Academy vibes where each guy has his own thing he excels at. It’s doesn’t touch on it too much in the book but I’m pretty sure this was more of a prequel and we will get more supervillain stuff next in the series. But I just found out after reading the first chapter of the next book that all the housemates (besides Adam) all sleep (have sex) with one another so sadly I will not be continuing this series.
NO CHEATING
NO OM DRAMA (I mean not really, they’re too possessive for that to happen)
NO BREAK UP/SEPARATION
DUAL VIRGINS!
So we meet Apple, yep that’s his name, and he is probably the luckiest guy in the world though his luck ends when it comes to finding love. Apple can literally do no wrong. He is good at everything he tries, he never gets hurt and people just flock to him always wanting to do things for him. Things come so easily for him and he actually hates it because he wishes he had some type of challenge in his life and he hates people fawning all over him.
Apple meets Adam and Adam is the first person Apple has come across who isn’t completely in love with him. In fact Adam hates Apple because of how lucky and beloved he is. Adam is the unlucky to Apples lucky. Where Adam is always getting hurt or almost killed and somehow never gets the pastry he wants because Apple just so happened to get the last one before he got there.
So when they meet they bump into each other causing Apple to fall down and get hurt. For the first time ever. Thus starts Apples obsession with Adam who clearly hates him and doesn’t want to give him the time of day. But that changes quickly after Adam kisses him for the first time.
This is like super insta love. It’s insta obsession, insta possessiveness and insta we are getting married in three days because that’s the soonest we could do it. So yeah if you’re not into insta anything you probably won’t like this but I like insta stuff in some cases.
This book was pretty ridiculous, which I mean I don’t mind ridiculous at all. It was also super funny. These guys are super obsessed with each other. They stalk each other and neither of them is aware of it lol. They get together quickly since it’s just a short book but it was a nice little break from all the slow burns I’ve been reading.
There is a found family here of “supervillains”. It’s definitely giving off Umbrella Academy vibes where each guy has his own thing he excels at. It’s doesn’t touch on it too much in the book but I’m pretty sure this was more of a prequel and we will get more supervillain stuff next in the series. But I just found out after reading the first chapter of the next book that all the housemates (besides Adam) all sleep (have sex) with one another so sadly I will not be continuing this series.
NO CHEATING
NO OM DRAMA (I mean not really, they’re too possessive for that to happen)
NO BREAK UP/SEPARATION
DUAL VIRGINS!
October 31, 2023
Cawpile: 3.93 2.5*
So, I mean I'd heard a lot of really good reviews about this one, but just.. no. Sat on nope mountain, waving a crown of nope. This was totally in at number one in contenders so far for 2023’s ‘Not the book, but not for me’ category.
I mean I know it was meant to be crack! fiction, or, I *assume so* because if not then my GOD what were they smoking when they wrote it and can I have some?! But also more to the point what have the reviewers on Goodreads been smoking for it to have a 4.38 rating
The 4th wall breaks in themselves as a concept wouldn't have been a problem, as a *concept* but it was just what the MC was *saying* that was the issue.
The only way I can think to describe the MC is - imagine if you went into an evil geniuses lab, and found the craziest squirrel that was running in circles, biting its tail, looking almost rabid. Then you transposed its brain into a human, and-without taking that rabid nature away-injected genius serum and trained it to fall for someone to obsessive levels.
Now I’m told the author would enjoy this description of their MC. I hope they would, I don’t mean any offense, the character has just been left in the microwave a few seconds too long on ‘nuts’ setting, that’s all…
So, I mean I'd heard a lot of really good reviews about this one, but just.. no. Sat on nope mountain, waving a crown of nope. This was totally in at number one in contenders so far for 2023’s ‘Not the book, but not for me’ category.
I mean I know it was meant to be crack! fiction, or, I *assume so* because if not then my GOD what were they smoking when they wrote it and can I have some?! But also more to the point what have the reviewers on Goodreads been smoking for it to have a 4.38 rating
The 4th wall breaks in themselves as a concept wouldn't have been a problem, as a *concept* but it was just what the MC was *saying* that was the issue.
The only way I can think to describe the MC is - imagine if you went into an evil geniuses lab, and found the craziest squirrel that was running in circles, biting its tail, looking almost rabid. Then you transposed its brain into a human, and-without taking that rabid nature away-injected genius serum and trained it to fall for someone to obsessive levels.
Now I’m told the author would enjoy this description of their MC. I hope they would, I don’t mean any offense, the character has just been left in the microwave a few seconds too long on ‘nuts’ setting, that’s all…
August 31, 2026
🔹Story- 3.6⭐, Characters- 4.2⭐, Sex- 0.5⭐, Epilogue- n/a⭐
📗3.8 stars rounded down | 31st Aug 2026. Even before the story started, i loved Zile saying that we are free to think of stories a “real” in our minds. The book is so cute and silly, i liked it. The FTB scenes did dampen it but whatever. Just suspend your disbelieve for a while, if you'll read it. Was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. :)
●Narrated by Zachary Zaba. His voice is so mellow, i needed more books he narrates and so here we are.
●OMG ADAM’S APPLE. I GET IT NOW. LMAO
●The unluckiest guy gets lucky by snagging the luckiest guy! Golden haired, perfect bbe boy Apple is constantly smothered by everyone, all willing to do anything for him while invading his boundaries. Then there’s unlucky Adam, who treats him badly cuz he hates him and apparently couldn’t care less about him lol. Naturally this fascinates Apple. So ofc they fall in love. :3
●Thing is people always dump Apple after dating him citing “im not good enough for you” but are constantly hounding after him. It was sad really. Adam’s behaviour makes him think this will be the one guy who won’t dump him.
●So Apple pursues him relentlessly, already mentally falling in love with him and thinking of children!! xD Bro just came to Adam’s house for the 1st time and already it’s HIS house! He’s so obsessed! And this has insta EVERYTHING. Lightning fast falling in love and getting married in 3 days! xDDD
●Awww there’s mutual care taking. Adam reluctantly tends to Apple’s wound. 🥺 And coming to help him cuz people were pestering him. While Apple brings him his fav food. And Apple’s good luck started rubbing off on Adam.
●There’s mutual stalking here too. More by Apple tho. The breaking into his house kind.
The only thing i didn’t like was the sex. Man, it was so disappointing. For such a silly story, why couldn’t it be silly then, instead of… whatever the fuck it was. Fated was so good! Why couldn't this be like that??
❗*i rate sex different from sex acts and all my reviews reflect that. The views are my personal and may not align with yours. Only read if you’re ok with that. Else, please skip this next part.*
♦️This has 1 sex scene at 51% with rimming as foreplay. The “rough sex” has almost nothing from Apple with 1-2 reactions at most and rather more from Adam. Was hoping more cuz of the size difference but too much time was spent on Adam wrongfully thinking Apple’s had multiple sex partners in the past & getting angry over it and then Apple talking about how he prepped for this yada yada. i mean, you’d think there’d be at least something, whatever the fuck but i guess not. And 1 other sex act.
♦️It has FTB scene with them teasing up to that point then cutting off and then teasingly mentioning it later. Nah, fuck that.
📗Tropes & tags: One sided hate → lovers, opposites attract, good size difference, insta love, insta everything, obsessed MC, “he’s mine”, lucky x unlucky, funny & silly, found family, “villains” but actually vigilantes, protective MC, mutual stalking, begging in sex, big peen (but no effect in bed), no prep, 69, cuddling, FTB, shower together, HFN.
📗3.8 stars rounded down | 31st Aug 2026. Even before the story started, i loved Zile saying that we are free to think of stories a “real” in our minds. The book is so cute and silly, i liked it. The FTB scenes did dampen it but whatever. Just suspend your disbelieve for a while, if you'll read it. Was grinning from ear to ear the whole time. :)
●Narrated by Zachary Zaba. His voice is so mellow, i needed more books he narrates and so here we are.
●OMG ADAM’S APPLE. I GET IT NOW. LMAO
●The unluckiest guy gets lucky by snagging the luckiest guy! Golden haired, perfect bbe boy Apple is constantly smothered by everyone, all willing to do anything for him while invading his boundaries. Then there’s unlucky Adam, who treats him badly cuz he hates him and apparently couldn’t care less about him lol. Naturally this fascinates Apple. So ofc they fall in love. :3
●Thing is people always dump Apple after dating him citing “im not good enough for you” but are constantly hounding after him. It was sad really. Adam’s behaviour makes him think this will be the one guy who won’t dump him.
●So Apple pursues him relentlessly, already mentally falling in love with him and thinking of children!! xD Bro just came to Adam’s house for the 1st time and already it’s HIS house! He’s so obsessed! And this has insta EVERYTHING. Lightning fast falling in love and getting married in 3 days! xDDD
I dug my heels in because I wasn’t going down without a fight. He was my Adam now, and this was my house now, too. I was staying.
Adam didn’t break his stride one bit. Instead, he doubled down by scooping me off my feet and throwing me over one shoulder.
Then he Carried. Me. Out The. Door.
Me! Apple, the darling of the campus, was being kicked out of my own house like a stray animal.
●Awww there’s mutual care taking. Adam reluctantly tends to Apple’s wound. 🥺 And coming to help him cuz people were pestering him. While Apple brings him his fav food. And Apple’s good luck started rubbing off on Adam.
●There’s mutual stalking here too. More by Apple tho. The breaking into his house kind.
The only thing i didn’t like was the sex. Man, it was so disappointing. For such a silly story, why couldn’t it be silly then, instead of… whatever the fuck it was. Fated was so good! Why couldn't this be like that??
❗*i rate sex different from sex acts and all my reviews reflect that. The views are my personal and may not align with yours. Only read if you’re ok with that. Else, please skip this next part.*
♦️This has 1 sex scene at 51% with rimming as foreplay. The “rough sex” has almost nothing from Apple with 1-2 reactions at most and rather more from Adam. Was hoping more cuz of the size difference but too much time was spent on Adam wrongfully thinking Apple’s had multiple sex partners in the past & getting angry over it and then Apple talking about how he prepped for this yada yada. i mean, you’d think there’d be at least something, whatever the fuck but i guess not. And 1 other sex act.
♦️It has FTB scene with them teasing up to that point then cutting off and then teasingly mentioning it later. Nah, fuck that.
📗Tropes & tags: One sided hate → lovers, opposites attract, good size difference, insta love, insta everything, obsessed MC, “he’s mine”, lucky x unlucky, funny & silly, found family, “villains” but actually vigilantes, protective MC, mutual stalking, begging in sex, big peen (but no effect in bed), no prep, 69, cuddling, FTB, shower together, HFN.
November 29, 2025
These books are absolutely batshit crazy. Either it's your brand of bonkers and you will love them, or you're going to hate them - I feel like there is no in between, lol.
The vibes are giving Louisa Masters' Hidden Species/Here Be Dragons series meets Alice Winters' VRC and Vexing Villains series meets Onley James' Necessary Evils series meet C. Rochelle's Villainous Things series. (Also, if you like this series and haven't read any of the ones I just mentioned, go check them out!)
Everybody is completely unhinged with various flavors of ... let's call them superpowers? It's not instalove so much as insta-obsession-he's-mine-and-I'll-set-you-on-fire-if-you-even-look-at-him-wrong-hissgrrrawr. I dislike instalove, but for some reason I gobble this toxic possessive crazypants shit up. I finished book 1 (or book 0.5? the numbering is as bonkers as the books - anyway, this one) and immediately started the next one and stayed up til 1 am reading after telling myself I was going to read "just the first chapter." And I am an old lady, so 1 am is super late for me when usually I consider 9 pm to be a late night!
Aaaaanyway, if you love wildly unhinged flavors of crazy with notes of neurospicy and various levels of villain-mode, this series is for you!
The vibes are giving Louisa Masters' Hidden Species/Here Be Dragons series meets Alice Winters' VRC and Vexing Villains series meets Onley James' Necessary Evils series meet C. Rochelle's Villainous Things series. (Also, if you like this series and haven't read any of the ones I just mentioned, go check them out!)
Everybody is completely unhinged with various flavors of ... let's call them superpowers? It's not instalove so much as insta-obsession-he's-mine-and-I'll-set-you-on-fire-if-you-even-look-at-him-wrong-hissgrrrawr. I dislike instalove, but for some reason I gobble this toxic possessive crazypants shit up. I finished book 1 (or book 0.5? the numbering is as bonkers as the books - anyway, this one) and immediately started the next one and stayed up til 1 am reading after telling myself I was going to read "just the first chapter." And I am an old lady, so 1 am is super late for me when usually I consider 9 pm to be a late night!
Aaaaanyway, if you love wildly unhinged flavors of crazy with notes of neurospicy and various levels of villain-mode, this series is for you!
November 10, 2023
Adam & Apple
This book is so ridiculous and funny, I’m glad I picked it up. Apple has off the charts good luck but is bored out of his mind. Adam has ridiculously awful bad luck and fears for his life and limb every day. After a chance encounter Apple is entranced when Adam is not instantly enthralled by his good luck and decides he is the one.
The house mates are as ridiculous as Adam and Apple and I’m excited to see their books and get some insight into their dynamic.
This book is so ridiculous and funny, I’m glad I picked it up. Apple has off the charts good luck but is bored out of his mind. Adam has ridiculously awful bad luck and fears for his life and limb every day. After a chance encounter Apple is entranced when Adam is not instantly enthralled by his good luck and decides he is the one.
The house mates are as ridiculous as Adam and Apple and I’m excited to see their books and get some insight into their dynamic.
February 11, 2024
It was very over the top(which was amusing to read) tho insta love but Iiked it somehow. Cmon the protagonists' names are Adam and Apple.
*And because I wasn’t an idiot, I wasn’t about to point it out. We were holding hands. I’m pretty sure it can officially be considered handholding after three seconds of contact, and we’d broken that threshold at least ten minutes ago.
When our future children ask when we started dating, my response will be ten minutes ago today.*
*And because I wasn’t an idiot, I wasn’t about to point it out. We were holding hands. I’m pretty sure it can officially be considered handholding after three seconds of contact, and we’d broken that threshold at least ten minutes ago.
When our future children ask when we started dating, my response will be ten minutes ago today.*
April 14, 2023
Such an Entertaining and Unique Storyline
Zile did it again with a thoroughly entertaining and completely unique book. I am always surprised and impressed by their books and this was no exception. It has great snark and humor which brings books to another level for me. The characters drew me in and left me desperately wanting more of them. Read it!
Zile did it again with a thoroughly entertaining and completely unique book. I am always surprised and impressed by their books and this was no exception. It has great snark and humor which brings books to another level for me. The characters drew me in and left me desperately wanting more of them. Read it!
October 28, 2023
Well that was somethig
Well, I can honestly say that I have never read a book quite like this one. This book was pure and utter chaos in the best way possible. It's a fun, quick read and a fun way to introduce you to the author if you have not come across their work prior.
Well, I can honestly say that I have never read a book quite like this one. This book was pure and utter chaos in the best way possible. It's a fun, quick read and a fun way to introduce you to the author if you have not come across their work prior.
Read
December 9, 2023I feel like Apple spoke more to me than he did to Adam... :D
All in all, too much fourth wall breaking for me but I did enjoy the typical Elliven OTT possessiveness and size difference!
NSFW infos:
- Two virgins
- big size difference
- strict top/bottom dynamic
All in all, too much fourth wall breaking for me but I did enjoy the typical Elliven OTT possessiveness and size difference!
NSFW infos:
- Two virgins
- big size difference
- strict top/bottom dynamic
May 18, 2024
I like unhinged smittenness but this was too fast and too OTT for me. It's labelled as enemies-to-lovers but it can barely be called that with the instalove/lust from the get-go, and when after the second meeting, the two are already crazily obsessed with each other.
November 23, 2023
Eh? I’m not even sure how I felt about this
November 20, 2024
Frantic, smutty fun.
Engaging MCs, quick plot.
Read more of these books.
Engaging MCs, quick plot.
Read more of these books.
November 1, 2025
Really fun quick read.
Did it happen way too fast for me? Just a tad.
It was hilarious though!
Did it happen way too fast for me? Just a tad.
It was hilarious though!
September 27, 2025
The book was so crazy. I LOVE IT *screams*
I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. It was very different from your regular gay romance book.
I laughed so freaking much and my face literally hurt from smiling.
If you hate insta-love you will probably dislike their insta-all-consuming-want-to-devour-you-can't-keep-me-from-you-love.
The way they are obsessed and possessive with each other, is really doing it for me.
I absolutely enjoyed their mutual stalking, which is really amazing, when you don't even realize that you stalk your stalker.
They are both equally crazy. Who would guessed that crazy + crazy = love
The only issue I have with this book is the length, I would have loved to read more from this couple. I'm excited for the next book though.
I didn't know this author before reading this book but I loved the impression I got from him and will check out more.
I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. It was very different from your regular gay romance book.
I laughed so freaking much and my face literally hurt from smiling.
If you hate insta-love you will probably dislike their insta-all-consuming-want-to-devour-you-can't-keep-me-from-you-love.
The way they are obsessed and possessive with each other, is really doing it for me.
I absolutely enjoyed their mutual stalking, which is really amazing, when you don't even realize that you stalk your stalker.
They are both equally crazy. Who would guessed that crazy + crazy = love
The only issue I have with this book is the length, I would have loved to read more from this couple. I'm excited for the next book though.
I didn't know this author before reading this book but I loved the impression I got from him and will check out more.
June 18, 2025
This was probably hands down the most dumbest, most ridiculous books I have ever read! Wtf was that?!
I hate being “talked to” in my books. This ENTIRE book was inner dialogue!
How is this rated so highly?! What are people smoking and where can I get it?
This read like a terrible 90s sitcom with fucking laugh tracks!
I hate being “talked to” in my books. This ENTIRE book was inner dialogue!
How is this rated so highly?! What are people smoking and where can I get it?
This read like a terrible 90s sitcom with fucking laugh tracks!
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