A Song at Twilight: Of Alzheimer s and Love

by Nancy Paddock

"A Song at Twilight: Of Alzheimer's and Love" is a feature-length memoir by acclaimed Minnesota poet Nancy Paddock. The book tells the story of her parents' descent into the netherworld of Alzheimer's, and the challenges and choices for care that she and her sisters faced while confronting this most baffling and tragic of diseases, now afflicting millions of people and their families. This is one daughter's story of Lois and Ralph Pearson, whose love of life and each other transcended the darkest moments of war, separation, heartache, and family tragedy to achieve a memorable state of grace spanning six decades of marriage.

Paddock recalls her parents' early lives together on St. Paul's East Side, including their playful courtship on the city's ice rinks, as well as her own fond recollections of growing up in the post-war glow of the 1950s and '60s.

301 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2011

Reviews

[Beryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Don’t let the first two chapters of this moving and glaringly honest memoir discourage you. Paddock really hits her stride as she takes the reader into the heart of her journal while coping with the disintegration of her parents’ lives. Each page becomes a treasure as beautifully written as the story they tell is powerful.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

What keeps this book from being unremittingly sad are the lovely family memories and times preserved within. Especially beautiful is the section titled "The Old Smoothiess" p.168-170 and the photo that comes later of the same title.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

My grandmother has alzheimer's and my mom and I have the opportunity to meet this author whose life was changed by her own mother's alzheimer's.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm on another memoir kick. The author worked with the Southwest Minnesota Arts Council when we lived in Ivanhoe, so I am familiar with the work of Nancy and her husband, Joe. I expected her writing to be sensitive and to convey a poetic sense, even when writen in prose. All was true. The only reason I kept this to 4 instead of 5 stars is that I felt this was the story of her parents and their experience with Alzheimers; I didn't feel as much the universality of experience that would earn five stars. I was moved to tears many time; I celebrate the fact that the three sisters could maintain a positive relationship through the many difficult decisions they had to make together. It's beautifully written. I wish this couple could have skated easily into the passages of old age and death, but it wasn't to be.

[Bernadette · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written but gut-wrenching reflection on family life, dealing with parents' suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Nancy Paddock wisely starts with the happy times and her parents' deep love for each other. These memories and family traditions sustain her and her two sisters as they try to find the right care through all the stages of the disease during the 1990s.

Even though more is known on the subject now, Paddock's book is helpful not only for it's basic information and explanation of medical/social/governmental terms and policies, but also the author's honest expression of her feelings and emotions will be appreciated by anyone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's. Highly recommended.

[Jill Kalz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreakingly beautiful. Filled with intense, honest love and an equal measure of pain. I had to stop a number of times while reading, put the book aside, not because it was unreadable, but because I needed/wanted to sit with the words and allow myself to really feel them, appreciate them, even (or maybe especially) the most agonizing passages. The book does so many things well, including throwing light on how terribly tangled the decisions surrounding the care of one's aging parents can be. So deserving of its 2012 Minnesota Book Award.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhere the review of this book says something about it being a love story, a mystery, a "page turner," a biography etc. It was all those things. Even though the reader knows how this is going to turn out, you have to keep reading. The story took place at least a decade ago or more. It made me wonder if we have learned more about those with Alzheimers. I hope so. I kept thinking why are her daughters doing some of what they did? Maybe they just didn't know. Or, maybe I would have done similar things. One can't judge.

[Lizzytish · Rating 4 out of 5]

As i work with seniors with all forms of dementia, I found it interesting to read about other people's experiences. Also having taken care of a mother-in-law at home for almost a year gives me the benefit of an added insight. Nancy has captured the struggles and challenges perfectly. She has put into words exactly what is so baffling but at the same time can be so insightful. I found it to be a wonderful tribute to her parents.

[Kyrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a hard book to read at this point. The love story between Ralph and Lois was sweet. Other parts - well, I'm glad the sisters managed to talk to each other and work through things.
Yet, while Ralph and Lois had forgotten so much, they talked, even if it didn't always make sense. They looked at things. I had to struggle past personal frustration, wishing the dementia victim I know would do the same. I don't think I'm a very good judge of this book's content as a result.

[L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I initially checked this book out from the library to educate myself some on the subject of Alzheimer's and Dementia. This is a journal that takes you in and wraps you around the lives of the three daughters, and their families, that are dealing with the aging of their beloved parents and the nightmare of Alzheimer's. It is a beautifully written book and I highly recommend it.

[Lauri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Mixed with sadness and humor. Loving memoir of her parent's love for each other and how the family worked together during a difficult time. Finished it on an airplane while listening to Les Mis on my ipod with tears running down my face. Have Kleenix ready.

[Ruth Solie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely, moving books about aging, adult children dealing with aging parents, dementia, loss; siblings finding a path and renewing/reinventing their own relationships.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written but heartbreaking.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was an awesome look into what it woul be like to deal with your parents aging and having to make decisions for them. I laughed and I bawled.