Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf

by David Madsen

David Madsen’s first novel Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf opens with a stomach-turning description of the state of Pope Leo’s backside. The narrator is a hunchback dwarf named Pepe and it is his job to read aloud from St. Augustine while salves and unguents are applied to the papal posterior. Born of humble stock, and at one time the inmate of a freak show, Pepe now moves in the highest circles of holy skullduggery and buggery. Madsen’s book is essentially a romp, although an unusually erudite one, and his scatological and bloody look at the Renaissance is grotesque, fruity and filthy. The publisher has a special interest in decadence; they must be pleased with this glittering toad of a novel. – Phi Baker in The Sunday Times

Genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Italy, Historical, Novels, Religion

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

David Madsen is the pseudonym of a philosopher, theologian, therapist and author who has always had a special interest in the esoteric, the oblique and the heterodox byways of the human psyche.

His first novel, Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf, partially sprang from Madsen’s enthusiasm for Gnosticism, which he had the opportunity of studying in Rome for several years; Memoirs won great critical acclaim and has been translated into eleven languages. It was followed by Confessions of a Flesh-Eater, Confessions of a Flesh-Eater Cookbook and, most recently, A Box of Dreams, all published by Dedalus Books. He has also collaborated on film scripts.

Reviews

[Vit Babenco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Church isn’t God. Church is man. Church isn’t about divinity. Church is about power.

What, you may well ask, is the precise nature of Gnosticism? What exactly is it, and what is a Gnostic? As far as my beliefs are concerned I like to think of myself as a proselytizer but not, I hope, a prolix windbag; therefore I shall state our basic Gnostic conviction concisely: we hold that there are two equally-matched powers in the universe, one good and the other evil, and these are perpetually at war with one another. The good power created spirit, while the evil power created matter. Matter, material existence, corporeal form, the body, flesh, is evil. It imprisons and holds captive the spirit. In being born into the world of matter, we have fallen from our true spiritual state; the object of our existence is to return to it. The devil created this world, and it is hell.

Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf is a provocative slice of postmodern history. It is a tale of treason and love. It is a story of squalor and beauty.
It is the world we live in.

[knig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Circumstantial yet trouvaille read to coincide with the election of Pope Francis. During that particularly non operose endeavour, I was sidetracked somewhat catering to my own non theologically minded stygian appetites to feel the wanderlust, but I do remember wondering ‘WTF’. One octogenarian decamps in an emeute of exquisite humility and what should have been a plangent threnody from whose cradle springs some big bang Catholic rebirth (which the catholic church is so overdue) degenerates into parturient montes as Pope Francis ascends: a like for like succedaneum.

‘Gnostic Dwarf’ offers some insight into this negrescent blur with the rendering of Pope Leo X’s election some five hundred years earlier: and (yet another) coincidental and concurrent viewing of mine of Croneburg’s ‘Dead Ringers’ completes a triclinium for my edification. Conclave elections are all about damage limitation, and the contenders themselves have long ceased to be the people’s fidus Achates in lieu of political pasquinades: essentially, you’re either out there doing real work with the flock, or Vaticanning, aka, politicking. (Cronenburg’s solution? We all need a twin so we can do both). So, I doubt real change will emanate from a conclave election, regretfully.

‘Gnostic Dwarf’ otherwise, is beautifully grotesque and outrageous. Or is it? There is every indication Renaissance clergy were balls deep in effulgent debauchery, buggery, corruption and general malfeasance and peculation, buoyed by the bilious appetite of the Inquisition and succoured by extensive papal bills, wallowing in chthonic excess whilst keeping the canaille in check. If Marsden paints the ‘court’ of Leo X no less decadent than Nero’s, perhaps it is because that is what that World’s albedo montage portrays. Cameo appearances by Raphael, Lenoardo and Michaelangelo add to the heady brew of erotica, splendour, mystery and decadence. All, of course, in the name of honoris causa.

[Gabrielė || book.duo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Plonytė riba tarp istorinių faktų ir autoriaus fantazijos. Čia sutinkame popiežių Leoną X ir jo pagalbininką nykštuką, gražuolį Rafaelį, genijų Mikelandželą ir apsileidėlį Leonardą. Kūrinys pasitinka stipriai – smogia sekso, purvo ir šlykštumo banga, kuri, mano manymu, buvo skirta tik šokiruoti ir todėl atrodė kiek perspausta. Ant kiekvieno kampo vis minima moters krūtinė, pasistojusi vyro varpa, dar pridėkim šūdų, bezdalų ir gausime tiesiog puikią mišrainę. Žinoma, Renesanso laikai tikrai nebuvo vien auksu spindintys ir vien nuostabius menininkus pristatantys, taigi galima sveikinti autorių už nenugludintą to laikotarpio atvaizdavimą, bet vien tai, kad to šoko kur kas daugiau pirmuose puslapiuose nei toliau knygoje, verčia galvoti, kad jis buvo pasitelktas daugiausiai skaitytojo dėmesiui prikaustyti.

Kūrinys žavi išskirtinumu ir unikalia tematika – nesu dažna istorinių romanų skaitytoja, bet drįsčiau spėti, kad pasakojimo iš popiežiaus padėjėjo nykštuko gnostiko perspektyvos dar nesam turėję. Čia, be abejo, daug kalbama apie krikščionybę, jos įtaką, galią ir (ne)naudą, apie turtus, kuriais disponavo to meto krikščioniško pasaulio lyderiai, ir apie visą purvą, korupciją ir valdžios žaidimus, kurie už to slėpėsi. Kartais romanas per daug atsiremia į istorinių faktų atpasakojimą ir verčia nuobodžiauti, bet kai grįžtama prie veikėjų, jų asmeninių išgyvenimų ir įvairiausių intrigų – dėmesys grįžta ir puslapius verti su dideliu smalsumu.

Daug filosofinių pasvarstymų, daug juodo humoro, daug istorijos (ypač gnosticizmo), kurią buvo įdomu pakartoti arba išgirsti pirmą kartą. Ir daug purvo. Jei jo nebijot, ši kelionė man pasirodė tikrai gana išskirtinė ir verta dėmesio.

[Giuseppe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Prendete un nano deforme, un culto eretico dell'alto medioevo, un papa con tendenze omo, un Raffaello noto per le sue prestazioni sessuali, un Leonardo con tendenze macabre, una trama che bim bum e pure bam, un linguaggio boccacesco ed una prosa albertiana, uno scrittore inglese che però ha vissuto a Roma e ne è rimasto stregato, agitate, mescolate e servite.

Avrete un romanzo godibilissimo, machiavellico (aulico e volgare al tempo stesso), dettagliatamente storico e pieno di colpi di scena.

P.S: un grazie a GR (ed in particolare a Giulia) che mi ha fatto conoscere il libro tramite le vostre recensioni.

[ERIC PECHINOT · Rating 5 out of 5]

To lay bare the darkness of the world, David Madsen picks the contrasts of the Italian Renaissance and the court of Pope Leo X—the brilliance of the arts, Raphael, Michelangelo, Bramante; the woeful debauchery and corruption of the Church’s prelates; the condemnation of Luther; the ferocity of the Holy Inquisition; war and the extreme poverty of the majority of the population. Striking contrasts, but how could it be otherwise? As explained in the book, 'light has always shone in the shadow, and the shadow has never understood nor mastered it. And so it shall be: light will continue to shine—sometimes in the most surprising and unexpected places.'

It is through the memoirs of Peppe, the ugly and deformed dwarf, resourceful chamberlain to the Pope, that we become aware of this rotten world: 'In the Scriptures, it is written that Satan offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the world if He would bow before him and worship him. Does that not mean they first belonged to Satan? Otherwise, how could he have offered them? One cannot give what does not belong to them.'

Once the findings have been established, what stance should one take? Peppe shows us a lead to follow...

This book, deemed scandalous by those who reduce it hastily to a pamphlet filled with lewd passages, actually uses fictionalized history as a means to reflect on the absurdity and misery of the human condition. It focuses in particular on the opposition ugliness/beauty and the fascination it exerts on us. You may believe there's hardly anything new in this, and you'd probably be right -let's just mention for instance Quasimodo and Esmeralda in Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. But I shan't go any further on this, as I find Hugo utterly irksome. On the contrary, what I find really interersting, inspiring and appealing in Madsen's fiction is his challenging way with words on the one hand and, on the other hand, his Baudelairean ability to squeeze gems out of pervasive filth.

Can one love life when death is all-powerful?
Can one love beauty when trapped in a repulsive body?
Can one love when one does not love oneself?

Well, I am still not sure I could give a positive answer to any of these questions, and that is certainly why I like this compelling book so much.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fantastic read, unless you have a low tolerance for filth. The story begins with a detailed description of Pope Leo X's sore and leaking anus, and it only gets better from there. Peppe, the self-described Gnostic dwarf, is a wry and clever narrator who will take you from profundity to puerility within the same sentence. His memoirs are partially a deep contemplation of the hideousness of this world as experienced by a man trapped in a monstrous body—hideousness that leads Peppe to become a practitioner of Gnosticism and an unrepentant heretic. These ponderings are balanced by Peppe's incisive commentary on the events that take place around him, including freak shows, aberrant sex acts, and the decidedly unholy farts of the pope. The book is also packed with delicious GRE-level words such as "pasquinade," "ochlocratic," and "quiddity," which will enable you to feel intelligent while reading about all sorts of abominations.

As Peppe himself notes, "Prurience is one of life's great equalizers."

[Milan/zzz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was fantastic historical novel indeed and certainly very unique. It is a story about Vatican during pope Leo X, known as a patron of Michelangelo and Raphael (but the reason for his affection toward master Raphael wasn’t that much artistic or at least not only related with his artistic abilities. It is about political situation in Vatican and rise of Martin Luther. Story is told by Peppe a Gnostic dwarf, an incredibly eloquent, witty and likable character.

Book is very carnal, decadent and is not for religiously sensitive, homophobic readers. I like very much that history interweaves with some less known, private things about the characters; later I checked on the net and in textbooks and find out indeed that this novel has incredible level of historic accuracy (including those private little things as well).

The Inquisition, Gnostic philosophy, political intrigues, freak show, poisoned drinks, screams of horror and the ones of carnal pleasure that are coming both from the dark street alleys and the papal chambers … this grotesque image has been paint with blood and semen and in the end you really don’t know if the bad ones were really bad and good guys really that good? Of course you really must dismiss [your own:] morality otherwise you’ll be completely lost. I’ve found myself longing to understand and agree with some things but just couldn’t, some things on the other hand were so insane that I couldn’t even forced myself to comprehend. I mean their essence.

I really have no doubts that Mr. Madsen informed himself about the way the Gnostic liturgy has been performed [after all, everything else I was keen to check it turned out to be exactly as he wrote in the book:] but then, there’s no way I could understand the meaning of certain rituals. And maybe that could be the “flaw”: Peppe didn’t explain the essence of the rituals while in the same time he’s sending a message directly to the reader (he’s fully aware that you’re holding this book) of a Gnostic ideology and its goals. But he left rituals naked and as such quite repulsive and even ridiculous. Oh and utterly grotesque for sure!

Then it gives one great and quite unique view on the Lutheran schism. I believe he was closer to Lutheranism than Catholicism in spite the fact that he was one of the closest friends with Pope Leo X and lived with him in Vatican. The story of selling (pardon, “preaching”) indulgencies was hilarious and indeed he shares the same emotion as we (or should I say myself) about it. It’s so obviously corrupted and greedy and absurd (people purchased indulgencies for sins they were about to commit and Church didn’t objected whatsoever!). Then they started to sell indulgencies that can be applied to the dead! There’s even a verse about it:

“As soon as money in the coffer rings,
the soul from purgatory’s fire springs”
No wonder Martin Luther rebelled! Who wouldn’t? You know, sometimes I wonder if those high Church officials are believers at all?

And in the end I must mention the language. The novel is pure linguistic embroidery which is beautiful … if you’re native English speaker. However if you’re not [like myself:] the novel will require an additional work: browsing thru your dictionary. But this story is more than worth of all “troubles”, you’ll be richly rewarded. This is one of those novels that certainly shouldn’t be missed. Highly recommending but as I said at the beginning this is not novel for everyone.

[Jason Golomb · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a hard novel to categorize. It's part historical fiction, part tragic-comedy, part treatise on gnostic thought, and it's part historical lecture on European renaissance-era religion and politics. But somehow it works.

In essence, "Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf" is a story of the mysticism of Gnostic thought, orbiting around the interesting and sometimes madcap reign of Pope Leo X, Giovanni de Medici. Peppe (the dwarf) serves as narrator by providing glimpses of his youth, his introduction to Gnosticism, love, and education, which ultimately lands him in a circus, and then the 'court' of Leo X (itself not an actual circus, though one could make that arguement based on Peppe's descriptions).

Peppe is more tragic than comic. He ruminates on his physically painful youth (did I mention he has a rather large hump on his back?) "In the beginning was the pain, and the pain was with me, and the pain was me. It constituted the entirety of my burgeoning consciousness."

And one can't help but make comparisons to George R.R. Martin's own tortured dwarf, Tyrion Lannister. Peppe's mother, in a drunken fit, says, "God knows, I should have suffocated you at birth." Peppe responds in his narrative, "There was a time when I would have wholeheartedly agreed with this; now, however, I am rather glad that she did not suffocate me at birth. Strange, isn't it, how one can always learn to love oneself, however ghastly one is?"

Madsen displays a large and complex vocabulary which dually proves the literate nature of the writer as well as the value of having an e-reader with a built-in dictionary. His writing is big, bold and vividly descriptive.

In one particularly expressive scene, Peppe's only love is tortured for heresy. His description displays well Madsen's vibrant writing abilities: "...what followed fills me with anguish; the memory of it grips my heart like an icy vice. As I write, I know that tears will soon come. A huge and heavy sadness covers me like a shroud, and I cannot shake it off; indeed, I do not want to - for every act of recall, every rearoused memory of what they did to her, merits the expiation of a fresh agony of the soul. A sword pierced and entered the fabric of my psyche that day, and it is there still, for I feel its blade, as sharp and as deadly as ever, move between the infinitesimal spaces where socket meets socket and joint meets joint."

The middle third of the book, author David Madsen focuses much of his time on the political wranglings of and around the papal states. I'm always very appreciative of the historic angle of any historical fiction, however the complications surrounding the Vatican, Spain and France come at the cost of any real propullsion of Peppe's story.

The themes are rather large and heavy, and several plot lines are laced with overt sexual activities. Some may argue that it's gratuitous, but I would respond that it works effectively with the overall tone and themes of the novel.

What is Gnosticism, the reader may ask. One needn't wait long as Peppe provides his definition early in the story. "We hold that there are two equally-matched powers in the universe, one good and the other evil, and these are perpetually at war with one another. The good power created spirit, while the evil power created matter. Matter...corporeal form, the body, flesh, is evil...The devil (or at least a devil) created this world and it is hell."

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems pointless to say that this novel is brilliant, funny and delightfully scabrous, though it is because most reviewers here on GR and when it was published dived into the salacious fun and fucking of the renaissance pontificate of pope Leo X. Why anyone at this late date is surprised that the Vatican was a moral sewer of the 16th century, though it is amusing that it is the pope's posterior that is being regularly rogered not that of his page boys or choristers is hard to understand. Leo, the first of two completely unworthy, but in that sense typical, holders of the papal tiara was known to his contemporaries for saying 'God has given us the Papacy let us enjoy it'. That might not have said that is irrelevant, it was what people could easily imagine him saying.

What makes this book interesting is not Peppe, the eponymous dwarf, pimping rough trade to his papal master but his Gnosticism. What's that? I can hear people ask - but if you want to know it is a dualist belief (I'm not going to make this easy so you'd get Googling) that has inspired everyone from the Cathars of medieval Provence (and the heroes of more bad novels then I could possibly list) through almost all thee hippy-dippy 1960s and later new age bollox that is still inflicted on us.

That doesn't mean that this isn't a cracking good read. It is a wonderful and unique and ten sort of clever, intelligent novel, though its deep learning and cleverness is lightly worn and can easily be missed. A complete joy and well deserving of its place on the list of 1000 books to read before you die - though I would give it a higher ranking.

[Jacob]

Clementissime Domine, cuius inenarrabilis es virtus
This morning His Holiness summoned me to read to him from Saint Augustine, while the physician applied unguents and salves to his suppurating arse; one in particular, which was apparently concocted from virgin's piss (where did they find a virgin in Rome?) and a rare herb from the private hortus siccus of Bonet de Lattes, the pope's Jewish physician-in-chief, stank abominably.
(Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf, p. 11)

Great opening line, or greatest opening line?

[Bryce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Touches on some serious moral and philosophical issues, but wallows in shock-for-shock-value's-sake. A book I found interesting, but not necessary enjoyable.

[Gopa Thampi · Rating 5 out of 5]

A prose that begins its narrative journey from the suppurated posterior of a pontiff could either turn out to be a surprising tour de force or a blasphemous work of shock and disgust. David Madsen masterfully manages to produce the former while occasionally teasing us with vignettes of the latter. This requires a strong stomach, a large heart, an open mind and a fertile imagination.

Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf is a historical romp through Renaissance Italy replete with the horrors of Inquisition, political machinations, bacchanalian orgies and sadistic violence. The 'memoirs' propelled by the life and the destiny of the protagonist, Giuseppe (“Peppe”) Amadonelli, is often a brutal testament of the times and the scatological anecdotes that frequently crop in the narrative is perhaps emblematic of the decadence and debauchery that lies in the underbelly of the history of renaissance.

This is a work that celebrates both the profane and the profound. Peppe is the narrator, the victim, the schemer, the coward and the hero. From abject squalor, the Dwarf rises both in aspirations and in spirit and through mimicking the voices of the powerful and the known, he finds his own majestic voice.

[La.Silbia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recensione intitolabile: Di come la media tra tre, tre e tre fa un numero tendente al quattro.
Eh sì, perché questo libro mi sconvolge le basilari leggi matematiche.
Potremmo definirlo un intreccio tra tre filoni, quello storico, quello finto-biografico, e quello umoristico, quindi vado con ordine.

Le memorie (voto 3)

Peppe, lo storpio proveniente dai bassifondi di Trastevere, racconta la sua vita, una storia forte e vividamente sentita quando parla delle sue origini, misere e spietate. Senza tanti fronzoli, senza tanti imbellettamenti, ci racconta della sua vita, saltellando tra passato e presente, tra la Roma popolare e la Roma vaticana, passando attraverso tutte le complicazioni che uno come lui deve affrontare per vivere. Ci racconta di sé, della sua ri-nascita all'interno del movimento gnostico, e appone il suo punto di vista disincantato sull'esistenza sua e di chi gli sta intorno.
Non so se sia voluto o meno dall'autore, ma da un certo punto in poi l'intensità della sua storia narrata e la profondità della caratterizzazione sembrano annacquarsi, con un Peppe quasi relegato a osservatore e non ad attore.

L'aspetto storico (voto 3)

Alla vita di Peppe si intreccia quella del XVI secolo, fatto di Inquisizioni, di una Chiesa padrona che si litiga i territori e i poteri con gli altri Imperi, e che cerca di contrastare quelli che diventeranno gli scismi religiosi. Sulla scena intanto di alternano varie figure storiche, dall'ovvio papa Leone X, di cui Peppe è consigliere e amico-buffone, a Leonardo da Vinci, Raffaello, Martin Lutero. Eccetera? Eccetera.
Se da un lato è molto godibile l'aspetto di rivisitazione degli eventi e dei personaggi, demistificati e umanizzati, dall'altro il raccontare nel dettaglio certi episodi storici per pagine, come potrebbe fare un qualsiasi bignami, lascia un po' il tempo che trova, e dà una sensazione di "tappare i buchi" quando non c'era altro da dire, quando si voleva allungare il brodo, o quando non si era riusciti a pensare ad altri escamotage per interrompere la narrazione.
E qua non si percepisce nemmeno la voce di Peppe, né come attore né come osservatore, ma piuttosto si sente palpabilmente l'intervento esterno di un autore.

L'umorismo (?) (voto 3)

Questa mattina Sua Santità mi ha chiamato a leggergli sant'Agostino, mentre il medico applicava unguenti e balsami al suo culo purulento; uno in particolare, a quanto pare preparato con piscio di vergine (dove avranno scovato una vergine a Roma?) e con un'era rara proveniente dall'hortus siccus privato di Bonet de Lattes, il protomedico ebreo del Papa, puzzava in modo abominevole. Tuttavia, non era peggiore del fetore nauseabondo delle pustole suppuranti e delle piaghe stillanti che adornavano il martoriato deretano di Sua Santità. [...] Con l'alba sollevata sopra i propri fianchi, e le mutande calate attorno alle caviglie, l'uomo più potente del mondo giaceva stravaccato sul letto come un efebo in attesa di essere debitamente sodomizzato.
Sodomizzato lo è stato, più e più volte; donde le condizioni del suo culo. Sua Santità preferisce assumere il ruolo femminile, contorcendosi e strillando sotto qualche nerboruto giovanotto, come una sposa penetrata per la prima volta.
(pag. 11)
(che poi sarebbe la prima del romanzo)

Ed ecco a voi l'incipit. Siamo nel 1518 e 'sto nano gnostico ci dà dentro subito.
A differenza del mio santissimo e venerabilissimo (amatissimo, meravigliosissimo, divertentissimo) Il vangelo secondo Biff, che ti conquista pian piano, che si fa prima apprezzare come un simpatico amico con cui parlare di tanto in tanto per poi entrare ossessivamente nella tua mente ormai completamente innamorata, Memorie di un nano gnostico è l'amicone di tutti fin da subito, quello un po' sbruffone e dalla battuta facile e molto diretta. Quello che insomma è una compagnia piacevole e divertente ma che non colpisce al cuore. E questo ti preclude ulteriori stelline, I'm sorry nano.
Oppure sono io che leggo con gli occhi di un altro innamoramento recente? I'm sorry, nano, ma il mio cuore, al momento (sì, è un cuore volubile) è di Biff, e questo ti preclude ulteriori stelline. (ho una netta sensazione di déjà-écrit, ma non capisco proprio il perché... Chissà!)
Insomma, il lato umoristico io non l'ho colto più di tanto. Punta decisamente sulla cruda brutalità e volgarità, la qual cosa non mi scolvolge né mi fa scandalizzare. Il risultato, molto più semplicemente, non mi convince del tutto, in quanto mi sembra di leggere non attraverso gli occhi smaliziati, arguti e taglienti di un intelligente narratore, ma più attraverso lo sguardo di una servetta qualunque, votata ai pettegolezzi e alla visione morbosa di ciò che le sta intorno. Sono talmente smaliziata io, forse, che il sentirmi di stare sbirciando da sotto un tavolo le perversioni altrui non mi sembra umoristico, è semplicemente quello che è. Grottesco, più probabilmente; colpisce in modo facile la sensibilità, sicuro. Sì, ci sono delle parti, delle battute che fanno sogghignare, ma lo humour, 'ndo sta?


E allora perché un giudizio complessivo tendente al quattro? Ma che ne so io! Sicuramente una valutazione gestaltica e un intreccio sufficientemente buono delle varie parti del romanzo gli donano qualcosa in più rispetto ad un'analisi formale.
Ma a me piace di più metterla così, molto semplice: se un giudizio a parole cerca di essere logico e razionale, un giudizio a stelline è puramente istintivo. E, a quanto pare, il mio istinto durante le lezioni di algebra dormiva.

[Realini Ionescu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoirs of A Gnostic Dwarf by David Madsen – this is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read list, The Comedy Section

8 out of 10

‘Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf” is a historical novel by David Madsen. It’s set during the transition between the 15th and 16th centuries and follows the life of Giuseppe “Peppe” Amadonelli, a dwarf from Rome who becomes a chamberlain and confidant of Pope Leo X while also being an adherent of Gnosticism. The book gives a vivid portrayal of Renaissance Italy, including the Vatican, the papacy, and various aspects of society at that time…’ this is what Artificial Intelligence will tell you, as Copilot, and the best thing on this page

Indeed, spoiler alert, you should keep the above and forget the rest, it is not worth your time, first, because I did not really like the novel enough to get beyond page 98, although I enjoyed the impressive start, there is clearly enough material inside to get pleasure, information, erudition, laughs, but not for yours truly
It is dashing, the first few lines have the readers introduced to Pope Leo X, son of Lorenzo The Magnificent, patron of Michelangelo and Rafael – in this book, there is a suggestion that the pope was infatuated, or at least attracted by the artist, and the Gnostic Dwarf is following the painter, sniffing to get information

Peppe only comes as high as Rafael’s posterior, and as he follows him in the papal palace, after the latter had been sleeping inside, the dwarf tries to identify the smell of sex, he is rebuked, what are you doing, and he retorts that he likes the style, and tries to replicate it, words to that effect, admiring the handsome guest
To begin with, we read that ‘His Holiness summoned me’ and then we have a physician applying ointment on the arse of the most powerful man in the world – that was then, but even now, Pope Francis has a lot of clout, he just spoke a few days ago, at the G7 summit in Italy – an expensive, bizarre treatment

It had to do with virgin piss (albeit I may get mixed up, maybe the piss was applied at a different time) and the joke is ‘where did they find a virgin in Rome?’ The most powerful man was a catamite, waiting to be buggered, the words reflect the attitude of Middle Ages, when they would burn people alive, torture them for much less
‘He has been buggered many times, hence the state of his arse, pustules an all’ this is not a quote, but some of the words are from the text…also, this visiting doctor puts a finger in the rectum of His Holiness, Successor to the Prince of Apostoles and Holder of The Keys of Peter, as the official title was, and maybe still is

The Catholic Church did, probably still maintains that the Pope has almost divine status, a special status as a sort of envoy or something, which is anathema, blasphemy for those in the East, with their patriarchs and their own vile behaviors – at the time of the narrative, Martin Luther is rising, protesting the corruption
‘Short of declaring that God is a Mohamedan, the pope can do what he pleases’, and he likes to act, cry like a woman when buggered, he is a man with a sense of humor, and we are told that, in a few occasions, he had been offered the sale of some special icon, so he sends the merchant to jail, and then this cheat disappeared, maybe killed

After learning about some of the shenanigans, debauchery (as seen by the standards of that period, maybe with the norms of today as well) of Pope Leo X, who used to be Giovanni de Medici, son of Lorenzo, we find that The Magnificent was the founder of Florence, and although The Medici have become infamous for cruelty, murder, they have some extraordinary achievements to their name, and we have to see things in perspective
Then we move to the childhood of the main character, Giuseppe Amadonelli, who was born in poverty, he had a drunk mother, who was so perverted that she tried to commit incest with him, insisting on masturbating him, having him penetrate her – she was selling some vile wine, as a sort of street vendor, abusing her child

One day, he meets this stunning, aristocratic girl, Laura, who encourages the deformed boy, invites him to her lodgings, they form a relationship, she shows him that they share physical challenges, she has a fabulous breast, only the other is the size of plum, and this minimal nudity leads to more intimacy, and coitus
However, this friend is the one who introduces our hero to Gnosticism, she insists that they will have sex, but that is only to rebuke it afterwards, they have to pledge to know the carnal pleasure, but only to forsake it in the future, it will be the first and the last time that they will give in to desire, the call of the flesh will be forever silent

Alas, after they have this exquisite, wonderful union, catastrophe strikes, the girl is taken in by the Inquisition, tortured in order to betray the other members of their fraternity, circle, whatever that would be called, and she remains silent, they take Peppe in as well, and then he is sold to sort of travelling show with freaks
He shares the space with a poor fellow who is made to look like an ape, he has some of the elements, but then they put more hair on him, and make him act as an animal, but the Gnostic Dwarf has a proposition for the owner of the ‘menagerie’, and that is a new act, in which the ‘ape will bring the man in a leash’, Peppe will act as submissive, and eventually, when they get the men in the public to pay extra for some more lascivity, unsee before exhibitions, the dwarf will ‘jerk off the ape’, thus he respects the pledge he made to Laura, to bring sex into contempt

Now for my standard closing of the note with a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/u... – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se

There is also the small matter of working for AT&T – this huge company asked me to be its Representative for Romania and Bulgaria, on the Calling Card side, which meant sailing into the Black Sea wo meet the US Navy ships, travelling to Sofia, a lot of activity, using my mother’s two bedrooms flat as office and warehouse, all for the grand total of $250, raised after a lot of persuasion to the staggering $400…with retirement ahead, there are no benefits, nothing…it is a longer story, but if you can help get the mastodont to pay some dues, or have an idea how it can happen, let me know

As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/r...

Some favorite quotes from To The Hermitage and other works

‘Fiction is infinitely preferable to real life...As long as you avoid the books of Kafka or Beckett, the everlasting plot of fiction has fewer futile experiences than the careless plot of reality...Fiction's people are fuller, deeper, cleverer, more moving than those in real life…Its actions are more intricate, illuminating, noble, profound…There are many more dramas, climaxes, romantic fulfillment, twists, turns, gratified resolutions…Unlike reality, all of this you can experience without leaving the house or even getting out of bed…What's more, books are a form of intelligent human greatness, as stories are a higher order of sense…As random life is to destiny, so stories are to great authors, who provided us with some of the highest pleasures and the most wonderful mystifications we can find…Few stories are greater than Anna Karenina, that wise epic by an often foolish author…’

‚Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus’

“From Monty Python - The Meaning of Life...Well, it's nothing very special...Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gosh, I don't know what to say about this one. On the one hand, it's just as rapey - no, more so - as Outlander, which I just panned. And you can throw in a lot more sadistic violence, gore, graphic suffering, really disturbing sex, and nasty STDs. But it's so much better than Outlander. Worlds apart. All the nasty, horrifying parts are fully in service to the message of the book, not thrown in to be titillating sexy-rape.

Peppe is a dwarf who is also painfully deformed; he lives in pain and squalor and despair until he is introduced to the heretical teachings of Gnosticism - the idea that the material world is inherently evil and was not created by the good and spiritual God, but by Satan. Because why would a good and loving God create such suffering and nastiness? The horrifying events Peppe witnesses/experiences are pretty convincing - I'm half a Gnostic myself now. For all the despair, there's still a message about spreading light and love, and the author makes your head spin by making you feel compassion for the most dreadful characters.

The story is told on the backdrop of the corrupt, obscenely lascivious and opulent Roman Catholic church (and its cruel, sadistic Inquisition) of the early 1500's, with a troublesome monk named Luther stirring up trouble in Germany. I'll admit I got a little lost in some of the political intrigue.

This was an impulsive read inspired by a Kindle daily deal, but I'm so glad I read it. But seriously, if graphic violence and torture are going to cause you a problem, you should steer clear.

[Liviu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book for people who are not easily offended since it has quite a bit of shock value, though I found it funny more than anything else since it has an ironic rather than a pure decadent tone a la Sade and similar authors.

I've read several books narrated by dwarfs and taking place in Europe of the 1400-1600's and this one is the weakest of all as storytelling and narrative pull go, with Arts and Wonders by G. Norminton the strongest in my opinion at least.

Very funny in a darkly ironic way but with a by the numbers plot and characters, The Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf is an ok read but it does not live up to the expectations of its superb opening. I've laughed out loud at many passages in the book and the satire works very well, but the plot, motivations of characters and the "dark" parts seem contrived and are quite unengaging. Brilliant in parts, "fake" in parts, it lacks the magic ingredient that makes a great novel.

Still worthwhile with the caveat above - do not read it if easily offended. Very, very explicit.

[jobiwan6 · Rating 4 out of 5]

3 and 1/2 stars

Gnosticism and a dwarf - do you really need more? If so, there is, literally, a whole freak show. And frequent references to Pope Leo's suppurating arse. And the always unexpected Inquisition. p.s. if reading this on Kindle, you will appreciate the easy accessibility of the dictionary feature.
Will read more by this author

[Missberet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Peppe is but a hunchback dwarf who is writing his memoirs. The story begins with Pope Leo's backside being healed from excessive buggery, Peppe is his trusted chamberlain. Luther,A German frier, is blasphemous towards Leo, who is enraged by these half-false,half - true claims goes on a tyraid. Peppe remembers his horrid youth with an angry drunken mother making him pull a cart to sell gut burning, rancid wine.His Mother then tries to seduce him into sleeping with her forcing him to leave. His life though is changed quickly when Laura de' Collini and her Father Andrea de' Collini welcome him into the Gnostic religion. Laura saw Peppe mistreated by his Mother and has been watching him for a while. He stays with them, Laura teaches him to read, write and think.She has already determined that he will sleep with her in a partnership of Gnosticism. In the belief, they are paired to bed each other once and only once to fully understand the fantastic only to abandon it for life. The belief is also that God did not create material items on earth, the devil did. Laura also has a deformity as well, Peppe finds out and for that as well as for Gnosticism she is taken by Fra Tomaso Della Croce the inquisitor who battles against the unholy. Peppe joins a freak show, afterwards he joins Pope Leo and learns of Andrea's plan to avenge his daughters burning at the stake, which Peppe observed and is haunted forevermore. Peppe believes it wrong to take vengeance, but he does. In the end Pope Leo demands to know who is behind the inquisitors death, which takes Peppe to the extreme. In the end though Peppe is the victor...

[Aušrinė||knygų.virtuvėlė · Rating 3 out of 5]

Šią apžvalgą būtų neprošal pradėti nuo sąvokos gnostikas paaiškinimo. Visuotinė lietuvių enciklopedija teigia, jog tai religinė filosofinė mokykla, dar kitaip sekta, kurios nariai tiki, kad kosmosas buvo sukurtas nepataisomo blogio. Kadangi kosmosui priklauso ir pats žmogus, tad kūnas ir jo geiduliai taip pat yra blogis, tik vienintelė dvasia laikoma dieviškąja kibirkštimi. Būtent į tokią draugiją ir patenka pagrindinis knygos personažas Pepė. Šiame romane labai sudėtinga suvokti, kas yra tikri istoriniai faktai, o kas tik rašytojo pramanas. Pastarasis taip pat itin paslaptingas, nes niekas iš tiesų taip ir nežino, kas yra tas David Madsen. Ši knyga itin tamsi ir purvina lygiai taip pat, kaip ir to meto Italija, kurioje ir vyksta visas veiksmas. Čia faktai nevyniojami į vatą, pateikiami šiurkščiai ir visiškai tiesiai, nesinaudojant jokiomis užuolankomis. Būtent tai ir labiausiai šokiravo.
Jau nuo pat pirmųjų puslapių skaitytojas yra įmetamas į situaciją, kuomet yra aprašomi popiežiaus Leono X užpakalio skausmai ir problemos, mat šis per daug mėgo leisti naktis su vaikinais. O ir gydymas labai netradicinis, prireikia net skaisčios mergelės šlapimo! Tikriausiai pats ryškiausias šios knygos motyvas yra gėrio ir blogio priešprieša, kuomet teoriškai gerieji, net šventieji personažai parodomi su savomis ydomis, geiduliais. Leonardas da Vinčis demonstruojamas kaip smirdantis senis, pjaustantis numirėlius, todėl nuolat dvokiantis pūvančia mėsa, net pasiryžęs sumokėti gyvam žmogui, jog po jo mirties galėtų panaudoti kūną tyrimams. Dailininkas Rafaelis parodomas kaip kitų geidulių objektas, iš išorės labai nuolankus, bet vos pakrypus viskam link sekso, sužvėrėjantis. Tas pats Leonas X - garbėtroška, išrinktas į popiežius vien todėl, jog buvo tikėtasi, kad jis greitai mirs. Ir tarsi priešprieša visam tam gašlumui, purvui bei nesibaigiančioms problemoms, iškeliami gnostikai, kurie tiki Dievu, tačiau visai kitaip nei krikščionys bei garbina savišvietą bei kalbėjimo meną. Vis dėlto, gnostikai yra persekiojami ir deginami kaip eretikai, o krikščionys išaukštinami.
Man pačiai didžiausi šios knygos trūkumai buvo dažnai pasitaikantys pafilosofavimai, užsitęsiantys ir kelis puslapius, bet realios naudos taip ir neduodantys. Kartais apimdavo noras tiesiog tas vietas praleisti, nes dažniausiai tai tiesiog tos pačios mintys, perteiktos kitais žodžiais. Taip pat trikdė ir stiliaus nuoseklumo trūkumas. Viename skyriuje aprašymai pateikiami labai gašliai ir atvirai, o kitame jau tarsi vengiant kalbėti tiesiai ir bandant kažkaip atsikratyti anksčiau naudoto stiliaus. Iš tiesų sunku pasakyti ar tai buvo vertėjo sprendimas ar lygiai tas pats buvo ir originale. O ir pabaiga kažkaip ne iki galo patikėjau, net pasirodė, kad tai bene buvo primesta Pepei, nors jo asmenybei tai visiškai netiko.
Šis romanas mano rankose atsidūrė visai netikėtai ir tikrai negaliu pasakyti, kad gailiuosi, jog jį skaičiau. Dabar vis pagalvoju ar istorijos vadovėliuose aprašomos asmenybės iš tiesų galėjo būti tokie, kaip juos pateikia autorius. Tad, jeigu jums patinka istoriniai romanai, o ir nesate per daug jautrus ar religingas, nes kitu atveju tikrai liksite pasipiktinęs, tuomet kviečiu perskaityti šią knygą.

[lanty · Rating 4 out of 5]

So astonishingly funny and gruesome simultaneously. An eloquent period piece that does not spread the gore of simpler times thinly. The narrator is surprisingly reliable and you want a happy ending, due to the way he is a mouthpiece for stunning, lyrical observations. An excellent plot too

I wonder how many people converted to Gnosticism thanks to this book.

[Darren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wild/entertaining romp through early 1500's Papal shenanigans, alternating detailing of historico-political events with a rather odd back-story of inquisitional persecution of Gnosticism (cos it was heresy, natch), with lots of added sex, violence and flatulence. Never did quite enough to rise above 3.5 stars on any level though, and rounding down cos 4 would be generous.

[Pelengator · Rating 4 out of 5]

Читать было довольно скучно, реальная оценка ближе к 3,5. Конец немного выровнял впечатления, но описания всего этого теологически-телесного быта вокруг папы Льва не вызывало никаких эмоций, интерес вызывала лишь история самого карлика, его гностический кружок и все, что вокруг и что из этого вышло в результате.

[Malum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gnosticism is something that has always fascinated me, and so this book was right up my alley. It does get bogged down around the middle with lots of things that don't necessarily move the plot along (history, parties, etc.) but, overall, I really enjoyed this novel.

[XandreRL · Rating 2 out of 5]

Es un libro con una idea bastante original e interesante pero que no acaba de ser llevado de manera brillante a lo que podía ser una buena satírica. Tiene buenos momentos pero es muy irregular y no acaba de enganchar

[Florjo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absoluletly wonder ful.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found this in the used section of Gay's the Word. The store owner told me that when it came out, it was so popular. I am glad I bought it.

[Jonas Vitkauskas · Rating 2 out of 5]

labai autorius seksu susirūpinęs

[Billy Degge]

Huh.

[Francesco Crapuzzi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es una lectura ligera, entretenida y con un tono de humor y tragedia muy disfrutable. Presenta de forma sencilla e interesante al gnosticismo, ideal para curiosos.

[Paul Cockayne · Rating 2 out of 5]

A historical novel liberally sprinkled with sex and violence, which fail to rescue it from the tedium of history.