What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him

by Byron Forrest Yawn, John F. MacArthur, Jr. (Foreword)

A powerful and compelling new voice in Christian publishing, with a message urgently needed by today's Christian men. Every man encounters significant struggles in life—struggles that result in poor choices and decisions. Frequently these mistakes can be traced back to a common problem—a father who (even unintentionally) failed to provide counsel or a positive role model. In What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him , author Byron Yawn offers vital input many men wished they had received during their growing-up years. This collection of 30 simple principles will help men to... The 30 principles in this book are based in Scripture and relevant to every man. They include affection, courage, balance, consistency, and more. A true must-read!

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Christian Living, Family, Christianity, Marriage, Relationships

192 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2012

About the author

Byron Yawn is the senior pastor of Community Bible Church in Nashville, Tennessee and a much-sought speaker. His book Well-Driven Nails received much positive acclaim from prominent ministers, including John MacArthur and Steven Lawson. Byron has MDiv and DMin degrees from The Master’s Seminary, is married to Robin, and has three children.

Reviews

[Jimmy]

Originally I was not sure if I wanted to read this book, as I don't really have daddy issues. But this book turns out to be good not only from the perspective of a son on a father but of a father to their son as well. This book will capture the readers attention: It is witty, biblical and practical. It is interwoven with personal story but not in excess. I am glad I read it. I believe the author is onto something concerning the problem of men with their fathers. He’s also dead-on with the problems of men who blame their dad for everything as an escape from responsibility. I love how the book makes a conscious attempt to be Gospel centered as the solution to various problems from identifying true masculinity (which means being servant like) to sexuality and pornography. He emphasize also gospel driven motives for sanctification rather than "do better" mentality we can so easily slip into. Change and try harder is not good enough and does not go far enough: We need to realize we have sins that we need to God to repent about!
I enjoyed several illustrations from the book that really sinks in deep in making the author's point: He had a good point about how no responsible fathers would ever teach their children on how to ride a bike for the first time by going on a hill, giving them a few advice concerning their bike lesson and let them go down hill into oncoming traffic. Yet that’s what we do with our sons when it comes to guidance when it comes to the area of sex. A few pat on the back, and the assumption that they will "figure it out," never mind that the world is teaching them about sex rather than having them be informed Biblicall that sex is serving one another out of love and not selfish gratification.
The other illustration I enjoyed was his reference to ax, how if you only seen horror film your first encounter with an ax would be shaped by the perversion of what that ax is used for. However, ax is not bad in of itself, especially if it's used for what it's originally intended for such as chopping up fire wood for the fire place. This is analogous to sex: our culture has preverted it so much that we think it's bad because our mind is informed by the perversion of the good. It's important that fathers then inform and provide real guidance of the biblical view of sex--and biblical everything else for that matter. Good book. Recommend this book.

[Danette · Rating 4 out of 5]

How does the cross affect your manhood? Byron Yawn applies the Gospel to: Grace, Masculinity, Affection, Ambition, Sincerity, Accountablity, Confidence, Marriage, Wives, Sin, Sex, Pornography, Eternity, Consistency, Thinking, Work, & Integrity.

It was so good...just read it!

2018 - A book targeted at the opposite gender.

[Dustin Witmer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a perfectly evangelical orthodox book with plenty of good advice. Three stars for two reasons: first, it spends its introduction emphasizing Christ is our example and then doesn’t flesh that out at all in the book. Second, it’s just like any other book for Christian men—it’s very demeaning and condescending towards us.

[goei.shimon · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, Christ-centered discourse of biblical masculinity. It is definitely not your regular 12-steps-self-help book.

[Manuel Brambila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding. Must read!

[Seth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for small group… good truths that the author failed to follow himself in his own life. Sad times.

[Matthew Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic. Full of biblical insight and help for dads and moms as well. Helps you consider what you need to do to be a better dad. Loved it. Quick read!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Title: WHAT EVERY MAN WISHES HIS FATHER HAD TOLD HIM
Author: Byron Forrest Yawn
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
February 2012
ISBN: 978-0-7369-4634-4
Genre: Inspirational/men

What does real manhood look like?

Are men tough, or sensitive? Society says one thing, then the other. No wonder men are confused. But no matter what society says, God is left out of it. Byron Forrest Yawn shows through the pages of this book that if you even look in the pages of the Bible or study the history of Christianity, then you will see that God is at the center of the life of a real man.

In the pages of this book are chapters with names such as:

Accountability: You are not your own best counselor
Wives: Don’t live in fear of your wife, lead her
Pornography: Hugh Hefner will die alone
Marriage: It comes with a basin and an apron

And other chapters that show that there is a touch of humor included in the wisdom within these pages. And it’s all biblically based.

Also are a few just for fun pages, such as Man Laws. Curious, I asked my adult sons and husband about some of the laws and they answered correctly according to this book. I asked my husband how guys know this stuff and he shrugged and said “It’s ingrained.”

This is a book that men will want to read, or need to at least, and it’s highly recommended. $11.99. 189 pages.

[Brian Pate · Rating 4 out of 5]

From a strong gospel perspective, Yawn presents a picture of biblical manhood. In an engaging and quotable style, he addresses such topics as ambition (ch. 5), accountability (ch. 7), confidence (ch. 8), sex (ch. 12), and work (ch. 17).

Key lessons:
- Being a biblical man is not extraordinary. It is normal. And expected.
- A real man is proactive.
- Plodding is a virtue.

A few minor critiques:
- Some of the chapters seemed a tad unorganized and rambling. Like it was a jumble of nice thoughts and then he tried to summarize it under a chapter heading.
- His macho-talk was cool at first, but by the end of the book, it seemed like he was trying too hard to sound manly. The testosterone-laced writing style was overused.

Quotes:
- "Our best friends are those who make us most afraid to sin.... Our best friends are the severest enemies of our complacency" (p. 80).
- "Confidence is knowing you're not good at everything, and being okay with it" (p. 86).
- Real men "love to learn of their blind spots so they can make themselves more invisible than they already are" (p. 116).

[Christian Fiction Addiction · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written in an easy-to-read, engaging manner, Byron Yawn's book is a must-read for fathers trying to navigate the chaos of our culture in trying to raise their sons in a godly manner. The author tackles some heavy and difficult subjects, including how to talk to your son about sex and pornography, leading our wives, and being open about our love for our children. The book not only will help you be a better dad - it will help you be a better man, comfortable in who God has made you to be.

Don't let our culture define you...or your son. Instead, pick up this book and learn about what a real man looks like in action, word, and deed, based on the example Jesus gave us.

I highly recommend this book and give it 5 out of 5 stars.

Book provided courtesy of the publisher and FIRST Wildcard for the purposes of this unbiased review.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting discussion of manhood from a biblical point of view. Yawn is pretty harsh on guys throughout the book, pointing out what he sees as prevalent deficiencies in character, but that is mostly balanced against the grace of the gospel while not letting up on the responsibilities men have to lead their families. John MacArthur wrote the foreword for the book, and you can definitely hear his influence in the tone.

I didn't agree with everything Yawn said in the book, but overall I really enjoyed it and would recommend it to young men who desire to live out their roles as godly men as well as dads trying to figure out how to raise sons. Good stuff.

[Trevor · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is well-intentioned, and I suspect that for a certain demographic, it hits home. Namely, macho semi-Southern or rural men who aren't particularly educated, care a lot about hunting, and believe that all men should have facial hair. While there are numerous good insights from this book, the author paints with broad strokes in ways that may not apply to a large chunk of men. If you're not in the target demographic for this book (if you are, say, a well-educated iChristian-type), you might want to check out something along the lines of Timothy Keller, who can give the same message but make it more relevant to your situation.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is priceless! It should be read by every man -- matter what age they are. It should be read by every wife and mother, too. It helped me understand my husband and sons. It left me with some regrets, but also made me feel O.K. but some things concerning the men in my life. Read it with a box of Kleenex at your side. It's sprinkled with humor, but brings such sentimental thoughts to the surface at times. The instruction for young dads is so valuable. The release it gives to those who had "not-so-perfect" dads is needed in so many lives. Read this one! Give it to the men in your lives to read. Suggest it as a study for a men's group in your church. It's that good . . .

[pexfa · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all make mistakes because we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Fathers are no different. Some people have great memories and good things to say about their fathers, others not so much. Byron Yawn truthfully and candidly let's us know that whatever our experience with our fathers, the good news of the love, sacrifice and service of Jesus Christ is the true example of fatherhood and manhood for us all. We must understand our roles as men, husbands and fathers through the lenses of the gospel. Only then will we be adequately poised to fulfil these roles in a God-glorifying way. This is a great book for men (and women) to be read over and over again.

[Shay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Byron Yawn has written THE book on fatherhood and disciplining your children. It will be used in men's ministries, study groups, and hopefully by countless Christian men. This book is full of balanced, Biblical insight in to what God wants from men. It's a fresh perspective from a dad who has seen a lot in his life, but doesn't blame anything on a "daddy wound."

I was blessed tremendously by this book as I think about my own son and shepherding his heart. I hope to read it again and be reminded of the things I know that I need to tell my son.

[Bryce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not so much "one thing" that every man wishes his father had told him, but rather the little things day in and day out that build up over time. In other words, if you are waiting for that "lightning strike" opportunity to impact your son and impart some radical life changing truth, its not going to happen. Instead, showing consistent Christlikeness and being a steady presence in your son's life is what will have the biggest impact.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pleasant surprise from Byron Yawn. This book is immensely helpful for all of us who did not grow up with a godly father who intently desired to pass on biblical manhood to his son.

While this book has a solid biblical foundation, it shines at being immensely practical and to the point with implication bluntness which cuts to the heart of every man. I would highly recommend this for anyone who already has a foundational understanding and a desire to be a biblical man.

[PED · Rating 5 out of 5]

Byron Yawn has written a powerful but simple manual for men that brings everything back to the Gospel and the power of the cross. Full of biblical truth and appropriate illustrations from his work as a pastor, Yawn gives nuggets of Truth (and truth) that we can use in our lives. "The odds were stacked against me. But grace beats unbeatable odds every time (p. 187)." Our lives are complete in Him thanks to His amazing grace, and that is clearly presented in this book.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a book critic but I can share some of what I took away as I read this book. What makes this book different from many others like it is that this book manages to proclaim the Gospel while instructing men on biblical fatherhood. Great read for those men needing a biblical tune-up as fathers (for those who are fathers) and as sons.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is probably the best book on manhood I've ever read. Probably because it is entirely focused on Christ and the cross. It looks to Christ Himself as the ultimate in manhood and encourages us to follow His example in a number of practical ways. I was encouraged in some deep ways at parts, and severely challenged and convicted in other parts. I highly recommend it.

[David Sager · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend ALL men and their sons read this book. I wish I had read it years ago. It provides a look inside at how prepared we are to prepare our sons for when they grow up, get a job and start a family. It is easy to think about it and never do anything - this book helps you to see where fathers can improve and better raise/disciple their sons

[Lee Craven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any man who thinks this book doesn't apply to them probably does not understand the gist of it.
It did not tell me anything I did not already know, but he said it in a way that I desperately needed it to be.

As a father, as a son, and as a child of THE Father I was extremely blessed by Pastor Yawns work.

[Brandon.capuano Capuano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Byron has a passion for men being men as they lead their families by the grace of God into a life deeply saturated in the Gospel. The Gospel is the center of all things in the Christian's life, and this is a great book on being a man that knows this to be true. Excellent.

[Kyle Klute · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally, a cross centered approach to biblical masculinity. Forget all those books that take the "daddy wound" approach to masculine spiritual growth, husbandry, and parenting out there and read this instead.

[Clement Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rich book. Both contents and writing style are excellent. Not one who minces his words, Byron is faithful to always reveal the truth, even if it means hurting your feelings and making you feel ashamed (I'm not saying he's mean and uncouth, but that he's firm).

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book. Most of it wasn't new to me and as the author says, it is definitely incomplete, but it was still challenging and thought provoking. I will likely making this a standard gift for first tone fathers of boys.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every chapter is helpful, with much wisdom and many things on which to reflect. I found Chapter 18 (Integrity: Be the Man They Think You Are) to be especially convicting and impactful. Highly recommended book, and one to read many times over the next years. Many, many thanks to Byron Yawn.

[Margaret Chind]

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[Barry Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to any man who stumbles across it. It's no accident that you found it.

[Paul Varela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book I felt it really helped me in my walk with Christ.