Rescue Plan: Charting a Course to Restore Prisoners of Pornography

by Jonathan D. Holmes, Deepak Reju

MP3 CD Format Pornography addiction is a pervasive problem--even in Christian circles. If you want to help someone who has become a prisoner of this sin, you'll need to know your enemy and the terrain on which you'll be fighting. Rescue Plan draws on the research and experience of two biblical counselors, giving concrete information and helping you to shape an effective plan of attack for strugglers young and old, whether single, dating, or married.

Although it can stand alone, Rescue Plan pairs with Rescue Skills, also by Reju and Holmes, for maximum effectiveness.

Genres: Counselling, Theology, Christian, Sexuality, Discipleship, Pornography, Christian Living

1 pages, Audio CD

Published September 20, 2022

About the author

Jonathan Holmes serves as the pastor of counseling at Parkside Church in Ohio and is the founder and executive director of Fieldstone Counseling. He serves on the council board for the Biblical Counseling Coalition and is a frequent speaker at conferences and retreats. He graduated from The Master’s University with degrees in Biblical Counseling and History and has his M.A. from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Jonathan is the author of The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship and has also written for The Gospel Coalition, Care Leader, Covenant Eyes, and Journal of Biblical Counseling. He and his wife, Jennifer, have four daughters, Ava, Riley, Ruby, and Emma. In his spare time, Jonathan enjoys traveling, reading, and gardening.

Reviews

[Christian Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This work is a fantastic resource for disciplers as they look to care for those who are seeking victory over sin. A much needed work as the 21st continues to evolve more and more into the pornagraphic age.

[Josh Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thorough, comprehensive plan for helping those caught in the trap of pornography. Every pastor, parent, or Christian that wants to be prepared or outfitted to help friends, family, or brothers/sisters in Christ in this area, should read this book. Reju & Holmes know what they are speaking about here!

I love the gospel-centered, Scripture saturated approach along with real-life illustrations peppered throughout. In the 21st century, it's not a matter of "if" you'll run across people who struggle with porn, but "when." And many of those people would like help being rescued from this pit. Get this book and read it!

[Mike Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is oriented to a friend or counselor, walking somebody through their struggles with porn addiction. The book’s strength is its fleshing out of general principles to address rare topics in this arena. The format is not meant to be a step-by-step approach for a counselor, but a general framework to prepare someone to help others on their journey. Each chapter has several helpful tips that can guide counseling conversations.

I only wish that this book or its companion, Rescue Skills, offered a more defined process to help folks walking through this struggle.

[Becky Hintz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most helpful resource I have found for anyone trying to help someone habitually involved in pornography and/or masturbation. I was surprised by how clear and accurate it was in addressing the specific thought patterns and habits of women and girls, as well as explaining generational differences. This is the first book I would hand a parent, counselor or friend looking to help someone with this struggle, followed by the companion volume, Rescue Skills.

[Jerelene · Rating 5 out of 5]

really well done fleshing out of the struggles, and helpful for getting inside the head of those who do. and how to walk with them and point them to Christ

[Jacob Hudgins · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best resources I have seen presenting a plan to help with a variety of porn-related ministry situations.

The authors talk frankly about a lot of the most challenging issues, including masturbation and female use of pornography which don’t get a lot of discussion in some works like this. I also appreciated the practical advice for different situations—dating, marriage, and kids. Each person needs something different from us.

I didn’t care for a couple of things: I’m still not sure of the specific steps of the plan they are offering and felt that the book talked a lot around the issue instead of giving a step-by-step process. I was surprised that they advise dating couples to break up if they identify a pornography addiction. And I did not like the pervasive belief that if we confront someone about their sin that we are “pretending to be the Holy Spirit” and trying to convict them when only God can do that. Why can God not use fellow Christians and their words of encouragement/rebuke to convict us?

I would recommend, but with these caveats.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is actually my second time reading through this helpful resource but first time writing a review on it. Man, this is such a helpful book. I'm thankful for the work that Jonathan and Deepak put into this book. As someone who counsels men through this struggle often, it is helpful to have a resource that not only points them towards their Savior but also gives them helpful practical tips as well. I also appreciate how far-reaching this book is. Covering not just a basic attempt at addressing this topic, but stretching out to consider as many applications points as possible.

If you are a female reading my review, I'll also encourage you to check out this book if you or someone you know is struggling with pornography. The authors do a brilliant job of realizing that this is not just a male issue and females need Godly advice in this area too. They flip back and forth between male and female illustrations which makes it feel like a human problem rather than just a male one.

This is most definitely a blessing for the Church.

[Justin Schlabach · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great resource on sexual sin and it is saturated with the truth and grace of the gospel. Like Al Mohler’s endorsement states “it is remarkably candid” which is much needed in our sex-saturated culture. Holmes and Reju do not shy away from the hard questions that lead to or result from pornography use, which I found helpful in understanding the issue all the more.

If you are struggling with sexual sin, discipling someone through sexual sin, or are looking to equip leaders in this topic, this is an incredible resource for you!

[Jamaal Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here’s my endorsement for Rescue Plan:

“In Rescue Plan, Reju and Holmes write a book that shows the beauty, power, and sufficiency of Jesus, to equip the body of Christ to care well for women and men who are dealing with sexual addiction. What a thoughtful work, filled with rich theology and practical wisdom throughout. I can’t recommend this book enough.”

[Ryan Rench · Rating 4 out of 5]

It started slow and I thought it would be a rehash of other books I've read on the topic, so I almost put it down. But once it picked up, the content was a unique twist and helpful.
The chapters on masturbation were more detailed than anything else I have read, and the thoughts for singles were excellent. I was so encouraged by this book, and it made me want to get the next one in the series.

[Emily Feavel · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book more stars I would. This is such a great and needed resource in the church. I would highly recommend believers—whether they’re struggling personally, know someone who is struggling, or none of the above—read this.

[Keller (Charles Hack) Hackbusch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful book. Very real with lots of practical info and methods. Required reading for the biblical counselor.

[Derek Woodall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent resource!

[Chase Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best resources I’ve read on such a difficult and important subject.

[Zak Mellgren · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most thoroughly wise, practical, biblical treatment on pornography addiction - whether the addict be a man, woman, or child - I've ever read.

[Mark Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical, practical, and hope-filled. Highly recommend.

Especially appreciated thinking through addiction from a biblical perspective, as well as the differences in the struggles for men and women.

Read in preparation for a class.

[Karrie Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

a wise & thoughtfully done resource for anyone struggling or walking alongside someone struggling.

[Will Turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall helpful. A bit too simplistic in parts. Grows weaker in argument toward the end of the book. Interested to see how the second book plays into and off of the first.

The two chapters on masturbation are good. They also do a solid job at recognizing that porn is no longer just a "mans" issue, but spans the sexes. Some of the material for women seems a bit tacked on, but I still appreciate that it was intentionally included.

They have a bit of a simplistic linear view of spirituality. Often they would say something like "once you get right with Jesus then..." But life is far too complicated. Life is more circular/spiral with a regular pattern of sinning, repentance, forgiveness, sinning, repentance, and forgiveness. There is continual growth in the habitual patterns of confessing sin, turning to Christ, finding forgiveness and repeating that process over and over again since we continue to have remaining sin.

[Jared Mcnabb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably more like 3.5 stars.

This book had some very helpful advice in how to help someone dealing with pornography addictions. It provided some useful categories to help chart a course to restoration.

While being helpful, there were issues that seem to remain untouched, and questions unanswered. Also, while the book correctly acknowledges that women also use pornography, and at an accelerating rate, at times it seemed to deflect female culpability.

[Ben Albano · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rescue Plan confronts the topic of pornography use and sexual addiction amongst Christians and, more specifically, presents a thorough and practical guide on freedom from spiritual and psychological enslavement.

I felt that this book was especially pertinent to myself and the greater Church body for two primary reasons.

The first, my own personal history. I have not shied away from sharing my own history of struggling with purity and pornographic use. As the book goes into great detail on, the age of exposure has grown only younger and younger, and I was unfortunate enough to witness my first view of porn before I was even in my teens. In my fight against sexual impurity, I have consumed podcasts, sermons, books, and blogposts. I’ve talked with pastors and peers and helped others walk through struggles while being helped in my own. While the Lord has done incredible works in my own life in fighting against sexual temptation, it is a constant battle that I expect to fight for the rest of my life. This book does a great job as addressing both the spiritual and practical side of the fight, and does something which I have not yet seen which is to give the proper attention to the struggle of both men and women, singles and married, young and old, all in a comprehensive guide that takes the aforementioned shame and history into account.

Secondly, Rescue Plan addresses all of these things from the perspective of a counsellor or discipler. Rightfully so, the fight against sexual impurity is not one that we can or should fight alone. Rescue Plan finds the balance of speaking to a variety of groups and situations without spreading itself too thin or watering down information. The tips it provides in helping an addict walk through their battle are both practical in nature, but also centred on the true reason for why we should be resisting the snares of the devil, which is that we should instead spend our time strengthening our walk with the Lord so that we may be made righteous in Him.

While I initially read this book as a way to better understand how I can counsel and encourage the men in my community group in their own struggles, it has also served to encourage me in wanting to establish even stricter standards for my own life so that I may be a greater example of Christ to my wife, my children, and my Church.

As a personal resource, I think this book has a wealth of information that may not be mind blowing to someone familiar with this issue already, but will be especially helpful for the practical discipling of a fellow believer who desires to be free from the shame and sin of pornography. If you are not actively engaged in the counselling of another, I would encourage preparation to do so. As promiscuous content becomes more and more mainstream, I believe that everyone should be preparing themselves to be able to confidently lead a disciple through life in regards to encouragement of all sexual purity with their friends, their future kids, and their romantic partners so that the Church body would not be weakened from the inside.

This is a great place to start to do so.

4.2 🤩

[Benaiah Neetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes have written a fantastic resource for the church that is theologically rich and immensely practical (something that is uncommon). This book is part of a set of two books and their intention is to help the counselor or the friend of a person who is battling pornography. The second book is titled, "Rescue Skills." This book focuses more on the framework and the method for helping someone and how to walk with them to help them achieve victory, whereas Rescue Skills is all about the "how to." As the authors themselves say, "Rescue plan is about what, when, and why; Rescue skills is about how." The authors lay out the cycle that sin causes and then walk through various people in different life stages like singles, couples who are dating, married couples, and more.

I found the author's definition of addiction particularly helpful. Far too often do we use Pseudo-therapeutic terms and categories rooted in a godless worldview for naming and defining a problem. The authors here want to be explicitly Christian. As they talk about addictions, they don't play games, this is something someone has intentionally done which eventually makes them a slave, "It's not simply something they can't help", but as they call it, it is "Voluntary-slavery." As they define it, "Addiction is voluntary because an individual makes choices to engage in destructive and sinful behaviors... addiction can also be described as slavery because sin leads to bondage - the experience of destructive and sinful behaviors outside the control of an individual."

The other terminology I found helpful was that of an "Addicts Four Foes." And they name them as, "Access, anonymity, appetite, and atheism." As they say, "Remove any one of these four As, and you make acting out much less likely." Overall - this book is excellent, and I look forward to finishing its companion. If you have a friend or someone you're discipling that's struggling - buy this book and learn how to love your friend better and show and remind them of God's grace in a powerful way.

[Braxton Schieler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book does an excellent job of getting to the heart of a porn struggler. Without being needlessly graphic, it expresses the battle of the heart and how our ultimate sinful nature drives us to sin. Of course there are ways in which I was all too familiar with that heart and simply heard it described in ways that were more profound than I could have expressed myself. But there were also things I didn't know--the extent to which women struggle, and the way that struggling with porn becomes a porn-struggler's entire identity such that they miss other obvious sins in their life as some examples. I particularly found the early sections of the book that help to define the enemy to be helpful. Thinking about sexual sin in terms of the four As (access, anonymity, appetite and atheism) was extremely helpful because it helped to balance the fact that we do have to address (fairly dramatically at times) the culture that we live in and the access we have to pornography with restriction of access, but also acknowledging that desire change is necessary to grow and this only comes by using the gospel of Jesus Christ to attack the appetite and the momentary atheism (one of the best sections in the book is this one on momentary atheism.). I found the sections in the back of the book on actually helping a porn struggler to be less helpful than I had hoped; they had a lot of good questions to ask as a discipler and things to consider but there was such an overwhelming amount of content that it was hard to know where to start thinking about it. There were numerous occasions where I thought "I think this is important, I wish they would unpack what it looks like to do that," but move on quickly to a new idea. Still overall an encouraging, realistic, gospel-centered guide that takes a sledgehammer to fatalistic thinking about porn addiction.

[Melissa J. Troutman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended by The Thinklings Podcast, and I'm glad it was.

If you have a friend or a mentee who is struggling with p0rn, or you yourself are struggling with physical or mental purity, this book is a must. In Rescue Plan (companion to Rescue Skills), pastors and counselors Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes build on a solid biblical foundation with super practical advice to help you help your friend: how to start (or continue) the conversation, ask questions, pray, and show the compassionate but firm support your friend needs.

I bought this book to better understand this topic (something we don't talk about enough as it becomes an increasingly common problem), to gain more strategies for guarding myself, and to be equipped for future conversations. Sexual purity in this sex-saturated culture is not easy, but Rescue Plan offers refreshing, Scriptural insight into WHY it's important and HOW it's possible.

Key takeaways:
-p0rn is not a men-only problem; women struggle too, often more so because they feel much more shame
-how easily (accidentally or otherwise) kids and young teens can find material and get addicted 💔
-self-pleasure is sin
-victory IS possible
-friends who struggle need a lot of time to overcome this sin
-don't date until there is consistent victory
-friends who struggle canNOT go this road alone; they need community, accountability, and discipleship
-it starts in the heart: what are your loves and desires? where are your affections?
-the deepest and most lasting "solution" = cultivate your relationship with Christ

A heavy topic but a relatively light read: easy to understand and easy to apply, and much, much needed. Please read.

[Tom Brennan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an old school independent Baptist, I do not generally read evangelicals. Their biblical perspective is often clouded with worldliness. But on this topic, I have found them to furnish much better tools than we typically find in the IFB orbit. Thus it was I came to this book. In fact, counseling in general is often a strength in the evangelical orbit, and my reading has proved this.

Now then to this work specifically. It is more properly a four and a half star book than a five star. It goes soft on some things. For example, while calling for people to be ruthless in relation to lust it posits merely controlling alcohol, not only a double standard but an unintentionally hilarious one. It also does not spend enough time teaching the specific biblical tools for holiness i.e. Romans 6-8. I have, however, rated it highly nonetheless. That is because what it does contain is, in the main, not just merely good material but truly excellent material.

It is clearly written by experienced pastors rather than arm chair theologians. It deals with the complexity of the issues rather than just focusing on lust. It points repeatedly and clearly to Christ as the answer. It deals with both men and women. It emphasizes the wideness and depth of the response necessary to a wide and deep individual problem. It balances grace and truth in that response.

If this is an area where you have personally struggled, this book will help you. But the real strength of this book is in how it helps you to help others. If that is your calling in life, you will find at some point you need the tools contained here. So get it and read it.

[Daniel Emil Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super insightful book that covers most, if not all, scenarios and areas when it comes to helping a friend, spouse, or child with their struggle against pornography. It does a great job of presenting both sides, showing that this is not only a men’s issue but also one women face (though in different ways) and offers practical, helpful steps to address it.

Deepak and Jonathan break it down into four main points for combating this plague. These are areas that need to be addressed:

Access – How easily accessible it is, often with no restrictions.
Anonymity – How it thrives in secrecy, especially when someone is alone.
Appetite – How our desires need to change. As Christians, we must rely on Christ, pursue Him and His Word, and allow Him to transform our appetites. Only He can change us at the end of the day. Go to him every day, in reading His Word, in praying, etc...
Atheism – How turning to this vice, even momentarily, reflects unbelief in God and a failure to trust Him.

Overall great book and extremely helpful. Addressing those 4 A's is a great way to help yourself or others.

[Carol Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is really good one! Highly recommended!
Hope there are more books like this one, talking about the topic directly but with truth, mercy, love, wisdom, strategies, practical methods and hope! There is an elephant in the room. Don't avoid it but fight it.
Like what author says at the end.
God is on the move. Light is breaking into places filled with darkness.
There is alway hope. Because the Holy One and the Beloved Son care, we can step into these mess situation with hope. Jesus is there, so we need not be afraid. God is on the move.

[Sharayah Lee]

“Here’s the headline to remember: though this sin is bad, Christ is better. A struggling believer must do the hard work of fighting sin, shame, and the ugliness of an addiction, but the turn will ultimately come as she orients her life around the grace and love of Christ. No amount of self-effort, self-confidence, or self-discipline is the be-all and end-all to solve this problem.” (pg. 127)

I appreciated the emphasis on dependence on Christ, not on self.

This is another excellent resource for those who are struggling with porn and for those who want to help them.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential resource for any pastor regarding an ever increasing issue for the people of God. So much clear biblical teaching and practical guidance for the discipler to use in caring and guiding others in their spiritual journey. We live in a world that is highly sexualized and people are already being “disciples” by the world about its values and goals. We must address this area of life for the ones who are following Christ.

[Ryan Cummings · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all of the books on this topic, I find this one most beneficial for young men. Not only does it work through the harm and downfalls of pornography, but it also gives a great plan for overcoming. I highly recommend this to anyone, especially those who are struggling with this or walking through this with others.

[Anne Dryburgh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written in a practical and caring way to equip people who are helping those struggling with sexual sin. It is caring, practical, helpful, and wisely written to help both men and women. Insights are given about the similarities and differences regarding the heart issues men and women face. I highly recommend this book