4.5/5 stars, a really interesting thriller while also touching on some important topics
Thank you Penguin Teen for the arc through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!
"The world breaks little girls. It stomps out our will, our joy, our curiosity - and replaces them with disdain, cynicism, and the need to fit into tiny boxes." (221)
I went into this thriller honestly expecting just a basic young adult mystery, one that had the same elements to it so many of my least favorites did. But this was actually such an interesting and amazingly well-done thriller. Honestly, the thriller didn't feel like the main plot at times and I was totally okay with that. Filling in the gaps of that was a story that features feminism, realistic characters, and teenage angst that wasn't too over the top. There are lots of trigger warnings in this book (featured at the end of my review) but I don't think anything is handled in a bad way.
I've never participated in cross country, and I honestly hate running, but I have participated in sports before and so I wanted to relate to the main characters. The two main sisters, Stella and Ellie are the stars of their small-town's cross country team. But the summer before the book takes place, they are both battling things that they're worried will make them distracted. They are still determined to be the best until new student Mina arrives, who's the best in the state at the very least. Both sisters are drawn to her, through competition and the possibility of friendship, but one day Mina goes on a run and never comes back. Suspicions are immediately held against the Steckler sisters, but things are even more complicated than anyone realized.
The setting of the small town is something that I really connected with, as I have lived in a small town my entire life. It's certainly a tight nit community but it's also nowhere close to perfect and I think this book represented that quite nicely. Small towns always seem really creepy for thriller novels and this story was no exception, we were a little set aside from the community with one of the characters but it made total sense. I can't speak on how accurate the cross country team was, I know the team at my high school doesn't go around partying, but I think it was a bit fictionalized. It made the book more exciting so I am okay with a bit more dramatization!
The plot of this book is very not black and white, while some parts were very predictable I think ultimately the last twist I didn't see coming at all. The parts that were predictable, I felt were supposed to be that way, considering the impact they had on the story and the message. I wasn't bothered by being able to guess some things, because the plot moved really fast and I felt like I was constantly running with the team to the next chapter. I was super invested based on the elements that the author added.
Some of the characters in this book, are NOT likable at all and are intended to be that way. If you cant enjoy characters for being not likable, but being super interesting and complicated, this might not be the book for you. I preferred one Steckler sister over the other, but at times it switched and at the end I really honestly loved both of them.
Stella Steckler was the older sister in the story and struggles with her mental health/aggressiveness. This is shown in the very first chapter of the book, so it's not really a spoiler. We learn there is something that happened to her, last summer that caused her to fall into this a bit, but you have to read the story to find out what it is. She was not a likable character for some (mysterious) reasons and that was perfectly fine with me, even when she wasn't I found her to still be interesting. I think readers will be drawn to her because of how real she felt at times, and how she grows.
Ellie Steckler was my favorite character from this book, she also felt very realistic and sweet. I think her story was a bit more compelling than Stella's, and so it was easier to empathize with her. She's young and wants someone to appreciate her, as we all did and still do at that age. She's experiencing a toxic relationship at the start of the story, which leads to some of the feminist themes in the story. Her dynamic with the story is great, she always feels like she's important even if it wasn't her pov chapter. Even at the end, I just really felt for her and I think the psychology behind her story is very interesting.
Mila was around for quite a while before the thriller aspect picked up and she went missing, and I have to say she was a really good character. I can't say too much surrounding her without spoiling some of the story, but I can say she was inspiring. She was also a very genuine person and brought something to the story that was really needed.
The side characters in this book were very vivid and real, I know I have been saying that about all of them but it's just the truth. Some of them felt like just stereotypes or archetypes on the surface, but as the story went on they seemed to grow more. I think acknowledging that a person doesn't just fit into one archetype was a good point of the story. I still dislike some of them, as intended, but I think there were also some important ideas surrounding some of the side characters.
Overall this is such a fun ya book, even when it wasn't heavy on the thriller side the entire time. There were a lot of other themes that I saw that I thought were important and especially how they were talked about. This was a super fast-paced book and this makes me want to pick up more ya thrillers, which I didn't think I would say for a long time!
[TW: pregnancy, abortion, gore, false accusations, trauma, sexual encounters, toxic relationships, parties, racism, drunk]