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I Dare to Say: African Women Share Their Stories of Hope and Survival
A young woman at last finds love, only to discover, after the death of her baby and her man, that he was married, had eight children, and died of "slim," or AIDS.
A girl hides under a blanket in her dormitory while the Lord's Resistance Army, in search of child brides, pushes an armed child soldier through the window so they can take their pick of the terrified girls.
Not long after her ritual genital mutilation, a girl on her way home from school is beaten by four men, then delivered to an old man who will be her husband, a standard marriage practice.
In I Dare to Say, African women speak out in their own words, sharing poignant tales of womanhood, revealing how they cope and survive, and confiding their dreams and hopes for themselves and their children. They tell not only of atrocities and pain but also of motherhood, marriage, love, and courage, a testament to the bond among women from all cultures.
Dramatic, sometimes heartbreaking, often inspiring, I Dare to Say vividly brings to life how political instability, ethnic rivalries, and traditional religion shape the daily life-as well as the future-of rural African girls and women.
Hilda Twongyeirwe is an author, a poet, an editor, and the recipient of the Certificate of Recognition from the National Book Trust of Uganda for her book Fina the Dancer. She is the coordinator of FEMRITE and lives in Kampala, Uganda. FEMRITE, the Uganda Women Writers' Association was founded in 1995 to empower women through writing and sisterhood, giving them a voice in a male-dominated culture.
A girl hides under a blanket in her dormitory while the Lord's Resistance Army, in search of child brides, pushes an armed child soldier through the window so they can take their pick of the terrified girls.
Not long after her ritual genital mutilation, a girl on her way home from school is beaten by four men, then delivered to an old man who will be her husband, a standard marriage practice.
In I Dare to Say, African women speak out in their own words, sharing poignant tales of womanhood, revealing how they cope and survive, and confiding their dreams and hopes for themselves and their children. They tell not only of atrocities and pain but also of motherhood, marriage, love, and courage, a testament to the bond among women from all cultures.
Dramatic, sometimes heartbreaking, often inspiring, I Dare to Say vividly brings to life how political instability, ethnic rivalries, and traditional religion shape the daily life-as well as the future-of rural African girls and women.
Hilda Twongyeirwe is an author, a poet, an editor, and the recipient of the Certificate of Recognition from the National Book Trust of Uganda for her book Fina the Dancer. She is the coordinator of FEMRITE and lives in Kampala, Uganda. FEMRITE, the Uganda Women Writers' Association was founded in 1995 to empower women through writing and sisterhood, giving them a voice in a male-dominated culture.
319 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 31, 2012
Let's get one thing straight. This book is not meant to be enjoyed. It is not meant to make the reader feel better. It is skillfully written but the subject matter is not by any means for the faint of heart. The book is written by Hilda Twongyeirwe who being a native of Uganda went out and about her homeland to interview women so they would have a voice and that their stories would be told.
I liked the way that the book was written because although the author interviewed the women their stories were told without being broken up into questions. Their words flowed freely. I'm glad that the author let them speak and she just recorded their stories as they told them.
This book was an eye opener. It was completely and utterly heart wrenching. Honestly with each and ever different account from these special women my heart broke for them and broke with them. The horrors that these women faced and thousands of others face on a daily basis are unimaginable and unspeakable.
The women in this book lived through gang rape, spousal abuse, kidnapping, aids, FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and being displaced by war. The things that they bore witness to are the very things that those of us who live in the comfort of our nice big, clean homes in the western world believe that nightmares are made of. One woman told Hilda that when soldiers came to her village she saw one man grab a woman's baby and beat it to death with a mortar and pedestal. I wonder if the child's mother survived or if she died afterward at the hands of the friends of the man who took her baby from her. I hope in my heart that she lived.
That is just one of the accounts in this book but that one is the one that has stayed with me the most. It was the one who made me the angriest and scared and grateful. I was angry at what occurred, scared that it is still happening and selfishly grateful that I'm not there where all this happened.
Despite the subject matter the book resonates with hope. Something that you wouldn't really expect to find after all these women and girls have been through but it is still there. I think it remains there because that's all the people have. Hope for a better tomorrow keeps them going.
I'd like to thank the author for publishing this book and the women who told their stories. They are an inspiration to us all and a reminder that we may live in comfort and complain about the small things but there will always be someone else who has it worse off. In fact they may have it so bad where they live that the contents of this book become common place or even normal. That is the most frightening thing I think.
I highly recommend this to everyone. It is a book that needs to be read and one that deserves attention. It may be an uncomfortable read but out of respect for the women who have suffered and continue to suffer I urge everyone to read it.
*I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my free and honest review.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I liked the way that the book was written because although the author interviewed the women their stories were told without being broken up into questions. Their words flowed freely. I'm glad that the author let them speak and she just recorded their stories as they told them.
This book was an eye opener. It was completely and utterly heart wrenching. Honestly with each and ever different account from these special women my heart broke for them and broke with them. The horrors that these women faced and thousands of others face on a daily basis are unimaginable and unspeakable.
The women in this book lived through gang rape, spousal abuse, kidnapping, aids, FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and being displaced by war. The things that they bore witness to are the very things that those of us who live in the comfort of our nice big, clean homes in the western world believe that nightmares are made of. One woman told Hilda that when soldiers came to her village she saw one man grab a woman's baby and beat it to death with a mortar and pedestal. I wonder if the child's mother survived or if she died afterward at the hands of the friends of the man who took her baby from her. I hope in my heart that she lived.
That is just one of the accounts in this book but that one is the one that has stayed with me the most. It was the one who made me the angriest and scared and grateful. I was angry at what occurred, scared that it is still happening and selfishly grateful that I'm not there where all this happened.
Despite the subject matter the book resonates with hope. Something that you wouldn't really expect to find after all these women and girls have been through but it is still there. I think it remains there because that's all the people have. Hope for a better tomorrow keeps them going.
I'd like to thank the author for publishing this book and the women who told their stories. They are an inspiration to us all and a reminder that we may live in comfort and complain about the small things but there will always be someone else who has it worse off. In fact they may have it so bad where they live that the contents of this book become common place or even normal. That is the most frightening thing I think.
I highly recommend this to everyone. It is a book that needs to be read and one that deserves attention. It may be an uncomfortable read but out of respect for the women who have suffered and continue to suffer I urge everyone to read it.
*I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my free and honest review.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
December 14, 2014
Very thought-provoking book.
I often thought about the Proclamation to the World as I was reading the first part of the book. For many of the women, their suffering was a direct result of the breakdown of the family. I wonder how a society can stop valuing family to the point that a man puts more importance on his inheritance than whether his own sister can live, and the leaders of the community agree with that man. There were also so many problems that came about because men and women did not view marriage as a binding commitment. And I was amazed to see how often girls were blamed or ostracized by their families because of things beyond their control.
I am saddened by the suffering that has been caused by Joseph Kony in Uganda. It was heartbreaking to read about communities that were once thriving and vibrant, where families were strong and people could succeed by working hard, and then they were attacked by the Lord's Resistance Army and the communities and the families completely broke down.
My eyes were opened to how daunting the task of eradicating HIV and AIDS in Africa really is. While promiscuity is a significant contributor to the problem for many societies, another problem is ignorance. Many of the people don't understand how the disease is spread. They are convinced that it's because of witchcraft. So many families that could be more successful in life are instead left destitute because of the medical bills they must pay for family members with AIDS.
The last section about female genital mutilation was very difficult to read. There were so many terrible experiences, and it's amazing how the cultural pressure causes the practice to continue even when a growing number of women are against it.
One of the things I appreciated a lot about the book is that in almost all of the stories, although the women had suffered greatly, they are still determined to fight for change. That is what gives me hope that eventually things will get better there.
I often thought about the Proclamation to the World as I was reading the first part of the book. For many of the women, their suffering was a direct result of the breakdown of the family. I wonder how a society can stop valuing family to the point that a man puts more importance on his inheritance than whether his own sister can live, and the leaders of the community agree with that man. There were also so many problems that came about because men and women did not view marriage as a binding commitment. And I was amazed to see how often girls were blamed or ostracized by their families because of things beyond their control.
I am saddened by the suffering that has been caused by Joseph Kony in Uganda. It was heartbreaking to read about communities that were once thriving and vibrant, where families were strong and people could succeed by working hard, and then they were attacked by the Lord's Resistance Army and the communities and the families completely broke down.
My eyes were opened to how daunting the task of eradicating HIV and AIDS in Africa really is. While promiscuity is a significant contributor to the problem for many societies, another problem is ignorance. Many of the people don't understand how the disease is spread. They are convinced that it's because of witchcraft. So many families that could be more successful in life are instead left destitute because of the medical bills they must pay for family members with AIDS.
The last section about female genital mutilation was very difficult to read. There were so many terrible experiences, and it's amazing how the cultural pressure causes the practice to continue even when a growing number of women are against it.
One of the things I appreciated a lot about the book is that in almost all of the stories, although the women had suffered greatly, they are still determined to fight for change. That is what gives me hope that eventually things will get better there.
April 21, 2021
Not an easy book to read, but I hope that telling their stories is empowering to these women. I learned a great deal about the situation in Uganda.
August 10, 2016
By sending writers out to collect the stories of ordinary women, most from Uganda, Twongyeirwe and Femrite managed to combine rarely heard voices with accessible writing. I expected to find this interesting, but I came away more or less loving it.
Some of the best pieces in here were the ones that come across as oral histories -- just the woman telling her story, with little to no commentary from the writer. It may be that these stories are simply the ones that come from the natural storytellers, but they're powerful.
It's also interesting to note that, in places, a 'villain' of the story could just as easily be the 'heroine': In Nakato's story, her lover is dying of AIDS (and, unbeknownst to her at that point, has likely passed it on); his sister comes to take him home and to scold Nakato. Nakato's viewpoint is no less valid or important for it, but I can't imagine that things looked particularly rosy from the sister's perspective either.
Other, smaller, things tell volumes about cultural norms: "since she became a born-again Christian, [Kyosha] stopped serving supper. She says that men must have supper with their families" (page 158). Okay, that's something about Kyosha -- but it also says, to me, that families do not eat out together, that the average customer is a male, alone or with friends. (Details, details...)
And then there's the last section of the book, containing stories of female genital mutilation (the stories also use the term "circumcision"; I'm using them interchangeably here). Again the authors have opted to portray a wide range of perspectives: women whose health was irreparably damaged by FGM; women who act, or have acted, as circumcisers; a woman who looked forward to her circumcision. Honestly, for this section alone the book is worth reading.
Some of the best pieces in here were the ones that come across as oral histories -- just the woman telling her story, with little to no commentary from the writer. It may be that these stories are simply the ones that come from the natural storytellers, but they're powerful.
It's also interesting to note that, in places, a 'villain' of the story could just as easily be the 'heroine': In Nakato's story, her lover is dying of AIDS (and, unbeknownst to her at that point, has likely passed it on); his sister comes to take him home and to scold Nakato. Nakato's viewpoint is no less valid or important for it, but I can't imagine that things looked particularly rosy from the sister's perspective either.
Other, smaller, things tell volumes about cultural norms: "since she became a born-again Christian, [Kyosha] stopped serving supper. She says that men must have supper with their families" (page 158). Okay, that's something about Kyosha -- but it also says, to me, that families do not eat out together, that the average customer is a male, alone or with friends. (Details, details...)
And then there's the last section of the book, containing stories of female genital mutilation (the stories also use the term "circumcision"; I'm using them interchangeably here). Again the authors have opted to portray a wide range of perspectives: women whose health was irreparably damaged by FGM; women who act, or have acted, as circumcisers; a woman who looked forward to her circumcision. Honestly, for this section alone the book is worth reading.
September 6, 2016
Sometimes, a book comes along that reaches out and grabs at your soul. I Dare To Say: African Women Share Their Stories of Hope and Survival, is one of those books.
Edited by Hilda Twongyeirwe through FEMRITE, The Ugandan Women Writers Association, the book features a series of short memoirs spoken by the woman of Africa. Emotionally, it took more than I expected to get through these unfathomable pieces: each story was more difficult to read than the next.
The content was riveting, but the subject matter was difficult to bear, especially as a woman of African descent. That said, I was also impressed by the honesty and amazed by the resiliency shown by these women.
I felt similarly when reading Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, which I have referenced often when referring to this book. Meant only as a compliment, I hope the author takes it as such. What I find to be profound about I Dare to Say, (similarly with the Vagina Monologues) is that behind the despair is hope and faith — important for all of us to hold on to at all moments.
Article first published as Book Review: I Dare To Say: African Women Share Their Stories of Hope and Survival, Edited by Hilda Twongyeirwe on Blogcritics.
Edited by Hilda Twongyeirwe through FEMRITE, The Ugandan Women Writers Association, the book features a series of short memoirs spoken by the woman of Africa. Emotionally, it took more than I expected to get through these unfathomable pieces: each story was more difficult to read than the next.
The content was riveting, but the subject matter was difficult to bear, especially as a woman of African descent. That said, I was also impressed by the honesty and amazed by the resiliency shown by these women.
I felt similarly when reading Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, which I have referenced often when referring to this book. Meant only as a compliment, I hope the author takes it as such. What I find to be profound about I Dare to Say, (similarly with the Vagina Monologues) is that behind the despair is hope and faith — important for all of us to hold on to at all moments.
Article first published as Book Review: I Dare To Say: African Women Share Their Stories of Hope and Survival, Edited by Hilda Twongyeirwe on Blogcritics.
March 29, 2013
Absolutely Heartbreaking. Reading the stories of this women was just so heartbreaking. For example while reading the story of this one girl who was lied into thinking that she just going to a party, but turned out that she was forced into getting herself circumcised against her will. So in the future, she won't be able to feel any pleasure when she starts having sex. It's profoundly heartbreaking knowing that females are being taken so much advantage of, all in the name of tradition. Well isn't it time for those people to realize that those so call tradition of theirs like circumcision are putting those young girls life at risk? it can cause drastic damage to the women and even cause them their lives. I think that any girl who reads this book will be heart broken, although I couldn't personally connect with their story, there was still a pang of relief that I was raised in a Cameroonian household that doesn't believe in such thing and I am so grateful for that. Part of me as a female in general, just makes me want to spread the word and take action towards ending Female Circumcisions and Women oppression in general.
April 21, 2012
This collection of true stories of the lives of African women is brilliant, well-written and a must read. The stories are broken up into four categories: surviving abuse, HIV/AIDS, tales of resisilence (war/rebel tales), torture and trauma of female genital mutilation. These are brutal, honest, hard stories to read from the comforts of our lives here in the U.S. That makes them even more important. The underlying theme is the amazing amount of hope that continues to exist in the lives of these women. The stories were collected by the Ugandan Women Writers Association (FEMRITE). Read this book!
January 13, 2015
Sad (yet still hopeful) stories that were tough to read. I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone who liked "Half the Sky."
March 27, 2014
Difficult situations to read. Good for the experience but not something I'd have read without it being assigned from class.
December 6, 2012
Some essays were much, much better than others, but this was an insightful collection.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews