Book Review: Bones of the Dragon, by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Bones of the Dragon is a book I picked up at a used bookstore for a couple dollars. The cover looked neat and the blurb sounded interesting, and hey¬— it was only a couple dollars! I could spare that much, even if it turned out not to be that great... which is exactly what happened.
Bones of the Dragon stars Skylan Ivorson is one of the Vindrassi, a race of sea raiders very similar to the Vikings. His father, the chief of the Torgun clan, plans for Skylan to someday take his place as chief, but isn’t happy with Skylan’s hotheadedness. When an army of ogres invades the Torgun’s waters, neither Skylan nor anybody else expects the message they bring: the gods of the Vindrassi are dead, and have been replaced with younger, different gods who favor the ogres over the humans. As proof, they carry the Vektan Torque, a bone of one of the five Elder Dragons given to them by the Vindrassi’s own Chief of Chiefs, Horg. With it, they can summon the dragon, whose power is great enough to tear creation itself apart. If the Torgun don’t want this to happen, they will have to bow in servitude to the monsters. But the proud clan won’t settle for this, and the battle for the Vektan Torque begins.
I didn’t like Bones of the Dragon. I didn’t like it so much that I couldn’t finish it. It’s not badly written, and I think it’s safe to say that Weis and Hickman aren’t bad writers by any means. It’s just that, while the prose works, the story itself does not. For the half of the book I read, I alternated between two different moods: boredom and disgust.
Yes, I was bored reading this book. It’s a shame too, because not only does the plot sound awesome, I’ve never read a book featuring Vikings as the main characters before. This could have turned out to be a really cool book. Instead, Bones of the Dragon is kind of a drag. It spends way too much time world building, to the point where the authors repeatedly interrupt the plot just to give us mundane details. Like, I really don’t care about the finer details of the Vindrassi’s longhouses. Just tell me it’s a house that’s long and narrow and get on with the story, please! No need to tell me how they’re made, or what kinds of board games they play when they’re snowed in. And then, when something interesting does happen, it happens with so little flair and pizzazz that if someone were to be narrating the story aloud I swear they’d be speaking in a monotone voice. This is fantasy for Pete’s sake! That kind of storytelling is unacceptable!
The other emotion, disgust, mostly came from our hero, Skylan. If he were telling the story in first person, I think he’d probably call it, “Viking Jock, and the Story of how I’m Awesome and Everyone Loves Me.” You know the stereotypical high school football jock? The one who’s a braindead moron, but the fact that he’s handsome and can throw a football makes everybody love him no matter how bad he treats them? Put a Viking helmet on his head and replace the football with a sword, and you’ve got Skylan. He’s arrogant, egotistical, selfish, but nobody can get enough of him. I get what Weis and Hickman were going for (or at least I hope do, since I didn’t finish the book). The douche bag who matures becomes a better guy by the end of the book is an old, but still nice, trope for a story to follow. Problem is, we still have to like the douche bag for some reason before that happens. Think of Kuzko from Disney’s The Emperor’s New Groove. Biggest jerk on the planet, but we liked him as a main character because he’s quirky, goofy, and fun to be around. Skylan isn’t like that. He’s a douche bag, and nothing but a douche bag. A better Disney comparison for him would be Gaston from Beauty and the Beast… and he’s supposed to be the good guy. What only makes it worse is that Skylan is constantly screwing up, giving the author’s plenty of room for him to grow as a character, but instead everybody just forgives him because he’s so gosh darn awesometastic, leaving him completely unchanged as a character. Maybe he does change later in the story, but I care so little about him that I don’t want to slog through the rest of the book to see it.
I found the tone of the book a little confusing as well. Or rather, I felt like the book itself was confused. Some parts of it were typical adventure fantasy with swords and monsters and brave heroes, but other times it felt like Weis and Hickman were trying to turn it into A Song of Ice and Fire. When some of the characters suddenly began throwing the f-word around, it felt so unnatural and out of place that I had to stop and stare at the page for a few seconds. I don’t know, maybe this is Weis and Hickman’s signature style, but I wouldn’t know because this is the first book by them I’ve ever read. Whatever the case, it felt like they were trying to copy Martin’s gray and gritty style just to set themselves apart from the more innocent fantasy series, like The Legend of Drizzt.
In the end, Bones of the Dragon is a well written story. You can tell that Weis and Hickman know what they’re doing when they put pen to paper. The problem is that the story itself isn’t very good. I feel like they did their best, but this just isn’t a style that suits them. I was closed Bones of the Dragon halfway through, disappointed. Not disappointed in the same way Throne of Glass disappointed me, but maybe that’s because there was virtually no hype surrounding this book when I bought it. Regardless, I was only out a couple of dollars for it, so it’s not a disappointment I’m particularly upset about.
I give Bones of the Dragon, by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman, a 2 stars out of 5!