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Gay Men Don't Get Fat
Simon Doonan knows that when it comes to style, the gays are the chosen people. A second anthropological truth comes to him midway through a turkey burger with no bun, at an otherwise hetero Do the straight people have any idea how many calories are in the guacamole? In this hilarious discourse on and guide to the well-lived life, Doonan goes far beyond the secrets to eating like the French€”he proves that gay men really are French women, from their delight in fashion, to their brilliant choices in accessories and décor, to their awe-inspiring ability to limit calorie intake. A Gucci-wearing Margaret Mead at heart, Doonan offers his own inimitable life experiences and uncanny insights into makes gay people driven to live every day feeling their best, and proves that they have just as much€”and possibly better€”wisdom, advice, and inspiration beyond the same old diet and exercise tips.So put down that bag of Pirate’s Booty and pick up this f
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 5, 2012
21 people are currently reading
571 people want to read
About the author
Simon Doonan
39 books106 followersWriter, fashionista, acclaimed window dresser and author Simon Doonan is the Creative Ambassador for Barneys New York. His books include Confessions of a Window Dresser, Soccer Style, Eccentric Glamour and Gay Men Don’t Get Fat. His memoir 'Beautiful People’ was turned into a BBC TV series starring Oscar-winners Olivia Coleman and Brenda Blethyn. Simon appears as a judge on the NBC television show Making It, co-hosted by Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews
December 29, 2011
On finishing this book, I spent a good 5min. trying to figure out what the point of it was (title aside). I then spent another 5min. thinking about that thin comedic line between stereotyping a group in a charming, catty way and flat-out demeaning or bashing them, and whether or not Doonan ever crossed that line, or just minced dangerously close to it for 254pp.
Then I realized I'd actually just spent 10min. trying to deconstruct a frosted cupcake of a self-help book by Simon Doonan that comes wrapped in a velvet-touch pink dust jacket.
The thing is, Doonan at times has quite sophisticated things to say about gender, equality, and relationships; his voice is a sweet trifle but his ideas are never trifling. As excitingly, the book is a doctoral-level class in gay and sartorial (and gay sartorial) history, culture, references, and language. E.g., upon reading the Gay Cannon book/movie list and the chapter on Palari (dying 60s homo-slang), I wanted to thrust the book into the hands of every clueless anti-history glass-eyed circuit fag strolling through the back door of a Daniel Nardicio underwear party, their jockstrapped buns-by-David-Barton a-twitching to a Rihanna mash-up.
But while that's all wonderful, it's almost irrelevant -- because in the end, the main point of the book is that Simon Doonan is really fucking amusing! (And also much, much dirtier than you'd expect a nelly fashion queen like him to be -- fisting and drug use figure prominently, as does the prostitution story of when .) Of course, anyone who knows anything about this "toxic little dwarf" (as his husband calls him) knows he's a laugh riot: the man is a ubiquitous TV presence, and as generous with his soundbites as Diana Vreeland. But you know, I always get a sense when he speaks publicly that he's holding something back. If only Simon and I were besties, I think, he would spill everything to me! This book is the closest thing we mere mortals will ever get to that state of being bosom buddies with Doonan, and it's utterly delightful. So if you're feeling low (or at least not gay enough), pick this book up to lift your spirits, as you imagine you're whiling away a delightful Sunday afternoon with Simon on the patio at Morandi, chugging mimosas (kukicha tea for him) and dishing endlessly about all that is naff in the world today.
Then I realized I'd actually just spent 10min. trying to deconstruct a frosted cupcake of a self-help book by Simon Doonan that comes wrapped in a velvet-touch pink dust jacket.
The thing is, Doonan at times has quite sophisticated things to say about gender, equality, and relationships; his voice is a sweet trifle but his ideas are never trifling. As excitingly, the book is a doctoral-level class in gay and sartorial (and gay sartorial) history, culture, references, and language. E.g., upon reading the Gay Cannon book/movie list and the chapter on Palari (dying 60s homo-slang), I wanted to thrust the book into the hands of every clueless anti-history glass-eyed circuit fag strolling through the back door of a Daniel Nardicio underwear party, their jockstrapped buns-by-David-Barton a-twitching to a Rihanna mash-up.
But while that's all wonderful, it's almost irrelevant -- because in the end, the main point of the book is that Simon Doonan is really fucking amusing! (And also much, much dirtier than you'd expect a nelly fashion queen like him to be -- fisting and drug use figure prominently, as does the prostitution story of when .) Of course, anyone who knows anything about this "toxic little dwarf" (as his husband calls him) knows he's a laugh riot: the man is a ubiquitous TV presence, and as generous with his soundbites as Diana Vreeland. But you know, I always get a sense when he speaks publicly that he's holding something back. If only Simon and I were besties, I think, he would spill everything to me! This book is the closest thing we mere mortals will ever get to that state of being bosom buddies with Doonan, and it's utterly delightful. So if you're feeling low (or at least not gay enough), pick this book up to lift your spirits, as you imagine you're whiling away a delightful Sunday afternoon with Simon on the patio at Morandi, chugging mimosas (kukicha tea for him) and dishing endlessly about all that is naff in the world today.
August 19, 2014
Reading Simon Doonan’s Gay Men Don’t Get Fat felt as if I were sitting at a corner table in a chic lounge in Manhattan with my best bff chatting, gossiping and trading stories, advice and laughter over several martinis. Love, love, loved it!
I’ve read several reviews on this site critiquing this book and I find most of them just don’t get it. Yes, it does promote stereotypes and is a bit on the snobby fashion cognoscenti side, but the gay world does have effeminate, snobby, opinionated fashionistas and the straight world (especially the ladies) needs us! LOL
The book is full of sarcastic and cynical quips, fashion savvy advice, with plenty of sage though comic observations, and wonderful stories of Mr. Doonan’s ‘been there, done that’ life.
I’ve read several reviews on this site critiquing this book and I find most of them just don’t get it. Yes, it does promote stereotypes and is a bit on the snobby fashion cognoscenti side, but the gay world does have effeminate, snobby, opinionated fashionistas and the straight world (especially the ladies) needs us! LOL
The book is full of sarcastic and cynical quips, fashion savvy advice, with plenty of sage though comic observations, and wonderful stories of Mr. Doonan’s ‘been there, done that’ life.
June 1, 2016
I picked this one up at the library because, well, it was pink. I just love pink! The title caught my eye, what with my being a former fag hag and all. Mr. Doonan is absolutely hysterical! There is no subject he won't touch upon. I really laughed out loud while reading this!! I learned a lot, too. I learned about Bears and poofter essential literature and movies, fashion and lots of things never before dreamed of by a little old straight girl. Makes me want to go right out and read all his other stuff (and get a whole new wardrobe).
January 4, 2012
Simon Doonan is the most fabulous person I know. No, I don't know him personally but he is one of my bestest friends in my head. And do you know what best friends do? They give you advice. Advice on how to live as fabulously and stylishly as they do. As the long time creative director at Barney's (his window displays are legendary), Doonan is highly qualified to give us a tour through gay life and show us what we are doing wrong.
Yes, there is a book called French Women Don't Get Fat that eschewed the unhealthy American diet and was very popular, but people felt that the author looked down on us. Doonan doesn't do that, but he does hilariously chronicle his realization that gay men and French women are basically the same species: they love fashion, home decor, and limiting their calories. What follows is a sort of field guide to gay men and which of their habits we could adopt to live healthier and happier lives. He tells us the difference between straight and gay foods (lesbian food has its own category), what style persona that heterosexual men can adopt to always look put together, and even takes us on a "Bear" hunt.
One of the funniest books I've read in awhile!
Yes, there is a book called French Women Don't Get Fat that eschewed the unhealthy American diet and was very popular, but people felt that the author looked down on us. Doonan doesn't do that, but he does hilariously chronicle his realization that gay men and French women are basically the same species: they love fashion, home decor, and limiting their calories. What follows is a sort of field guide to gay men and which of their habits we could adopt to live healthier and happier lives. He tells us the difference between straight and gay foods (lesbian food has its own category), what style persona that heterosexual men can adopt to always look put together, and even takes us on a "Bear" hunt.
One of the funniest books I've read in awhile!
July 1, 2012
Highly entertaining! I don't recommend reading this on busy public transportation, unless you want to be given plenty of room around you, as you have no choice but to laugh out loud from the jokes and pokes Mr. Doonan takes at not only himself, but at stereotypes for both genders.
What I read, was not what I expected. First my expectations, being that I was looking to read about the diet and such that enables the majority of gay males to being so fit and thin. What I got was short bursts of wit and proding at the differences in diet between a straight male versus a gay male, and the differences of how they view their bodies and take care of them. As well as fashion do's and don't's between the sexes.
What I read, was not what I expected. First my expectations, being that I was looking to read about the diet and such that enables the majority of gay males to being so fit and thin. What I got was short bursts of wit and proding at the differences in diet between a straight male versus a gay male, and the differences of how they view their bodies and take care of them. As well as fashion do's and don't's between the sexes.
May 16, 2015
Simon Doonan's ability to observe closely and then word his observations with flamboyant wit makes this book a roller-coaster carnival. Whether he advises straight women about the value of being a fag hag, or straight men about improving their dress sense or getting rid of man boobs, whether he explains what he means with 'lesbian food' or describes his decorations of the White House for Christmas, he is always irreverent, enjoyable and funny. The book provides sparkling reading, guaranteed to brighten up the gloomiest day.
Simon Doonan bespreek uiteenlopende onderwerpe met deurtastende humor gebaseer op jarelange waarneming en ervaring. Sy borrelende geaardheid sal die donkerste uur verhelder.
Simon Doonan bespreek uiteenlopende onderwerpe met deurtastende humor gebaseer op jarelange waarneming en ervaring. Sy borrelende geaardheid sal die donkerste uur verhelder.
May 9, 2014
Reading this book made me wish I was a fabulous gay man. It made me want to be an International Gay! Alas, I am a straight woman but one can still delight in Doonan's prose and take some of his lifestyle advice into one's heart. Simon Doonan is FUNNY! And the funny comes from a place of extreme wit and intelligence. I've occasionally been reading his columns in Slate but this book is way, way better. What a wicked pen the man has. I'll be moving on to The Asylum, Beautiful People, and all the rest before long.
April 25, 2014
Light-heartedly poking fun at stereotypes, Simon Doonan has penned a serious of short essays to conclude how a gay man should live in the modern world. A light book that is not hard to read, with a clear message that to be who you are is much better than trying to live up to stereotypes or expected societal roles.
March 13, 2012
Ensayos cortos muy chistosos (más que los de David Sedaris). De repente se clava demasiado en los estereotipos, pero bueno... "los estereotipos están basados en la realidad". Lo recomiendo mucho.
June 28, 2012
Made me LOL a lot! Made me miss having a (male) gay friend. Made me want to google everything he referenced. Will now find his other books!
Read
September 5, 2017Fun and informative. A collection of essays with a little autobiographical info from the biggest (maybe the only?) window-dresser-celebrity, as well as handy must-know lists of designers, movies, books and cultural touchstones that were formative of his particular oeuvre. Also a history (and glossary) of the now nearly defunct secret British gay-speak of yesteryear, Palare. Now I want to read all his other stuff.
- Kate D.
- Kate D.
July 14, 2017
Witty and bright. The best essay is the last one.
January 30, 2019
Hehehehehhooohoooo laugh-out-loud-on-a-sleeping-airplane-funny.
I love you Simon Doonan - check out this Slate columns for more.
I love you Simon Doonan - check out this Slate columns for more.
July 14, 2019
Silly/fun/entertaining :)
October 19, 2019
what a waste of my time! what a silly book! i gave up about halfway through. he goes on for pages about "fag hags". been there, done that. AVOID.
October 25, 2020
You see... after reading this i still believe that there are exceptions! I know TWO fat gay men!!!
July 23, 2012
I used to work across the street from Barneys and drank in the moments I could catch Mr. Doonan working with his crews on the windows. He is a creative force yet seems to remain so civil. He is humorous and humble. His marriage is fantabulous. He echoes many of my feelings especially regarding young female interns. The world needs more Doonans.
My feelings of Simon Doonan notwithstanding, this book is nice and neat and sweet and packs some gay edge to it but it’s just too fluffy. If it were lying at the dentist’s office and I could pick it up and read a chapter every six months, well, then perfect. I was also hoping for a take on ‘French Women Don’t Get Fat’ but it certainly wasn’t that, more a compilation-lite of essays on being gay; a love letter.
Throughout the book Doonan uses hetero-inherent schlumpiness as a springboard for why and how gay men are so wonderful. The hetero reader can enjoy the cheekiness and play along, knowing it’s all in good fun. I caught myself a few times thinking, wow, what a wack generalization, but then quickly thinking, duh.
I recommend this for the airplane, when it starts to get choppy; also for the hetero who has just learned of a non-breeder in the family; and, actually, I recommend it in general, but only as a slight diversion, nothing more. I think his other books might have more of that hetero-depth I was seeking.
PS: I can’t call my daughter ‘my little bear’ anymore.
My feelings of Simon Doonan notwithstanding, this book is nice and neat and sweet and packs some gay edge to it but it’s just too fluffy. If it were lying at the dentist’s office and I could pick it up and read a chapter every six months, well, then perfect. I was also hoping for a take on ‘French Women Don’t Get Fat’ but it certainly wasn’t that, more a compilation-lite of essays on being gay; a love letter.
Throughout the book Doonan uses hetero-inherent schlumpiness as a springboard for why and how gay men are so wonderful. The hetero reader can enjoy the cheekiness and play along, knowing it’s all in good fun. I caught myself a few times thinking, wow, what a wack generalization, but then quickly thinking, duh.
I recommend this for the airplane, when it starts to get choppy; also for the hetero who has just learned of a non-breeder in the family; and, actually, I recommend it in general, but only as a slight diversion, nothing more. I think his other books might have more of that hetero-depth I was seeking.
PS: I can’t call my daughter ‘my little bear’ anymore.
January 27, 2012
What a yummy, fun book. It's got...
Gossip! (When designing the auction installation of Marilyn Monroe's estate for Christie's, Doonan discovers that MM was "shockingly and unimaginably slender," "literally one-third your size." "The majority of her clothing showed surprising wear and tear. She had worn it all repeatedly and there just wasn't that much of it." She was, in fact, more into books, leaving "an extensive library of first editions.")
Useful advice! ("Kate Moss has been overheard repeating the phrase "chin on the ledge" while shooting. Kate's mantra is accompanied by a light neck stretch. [Her] tip will maximize what little neck you have and minimize your chins.")
History! (His description of the 1970s -- "the golden age of the fag hag," when "you could wear a vintage shrug made of jet-black, glazed cock feathers, with a spot-veiling fascinator covering your eyes, like Marlene Dietrich in Shanghai Express, and ... stare at the world with an amused, irony-drenched gaze" -- hit alarmingly, nostalgically, close to home.)
And it's really, really funny...."[Gay men] are so visually and stylistically evolved that we have basically become Frenchwomen with penises."
Gossip! (When designing the auction installation of Marilyn Monroe's estate for Christie's, Doonan discovers that MM was "shockingly and unimaginably slender," "literally one-third your size." "The majority of her clothing showed surprising wear and tear. She had worn it all repeatedly and there just wasn't that much of it." She was, in fact, more into books, leaving "an extensive library of first editions.")
Useful advice! ("Kate Moss has been overheard repeating the phrase "chin on the ledge" while shooting. Kate's mantra is accompanied by a light neck stretch. [Her] tip will maximize what little neck you have and minimize your chins.")
History! (His description of the 1970s -- "the golden age of the fag hag," when "you could wear a vintage shrug made of jet-black, glazed cock feathers, with a spot-veiling fascinator covering your eyes, like Marlene Dietrich in Shanghai Express, and ... stare at the world with an amused, irony-drenched gaze" -- hit alarmingly, nostalgically, close to home.)
And it's really, really funny...."[Gay men] are so visually and stylistically evolved that we have basically become Frenchwomen with penises."
January 5, 2014
Well, as you can see from the title it is more than logical that this book is full of crap because a lot of homosexuals have the tendency to get fat; although being gay is much more than just being homosexual. And well, this book is full of things gay people wouldn’t do or would – as opposed to things a lot of straight people might do – and offers one an insight into the world of style, fashion and all those things, one just doesn’t do.
Unfortunately I don’t live in New York, I don’t read the style magazines daily and I don’t go to all the right party’s but still, I understand what Doonan means. Being gay means that you are not only aware of how you dress or what you eat, but being gay means that you have a certain attitude towards life. In a world full of heterosexual wonders gay men find their own way to muddle through: stylish, witty and creative, but never ever naff. You don’t know what naff is? Well, then it’s time to indulge the world of Simon Doonan.
Enjoy, and you’ll see that gay men don’t get fat.
Unfortunately I don’t live in New York, I don’t read the style magazines daily and I don’t go to all the right party’s but still, I understand what Doonan means. Being gay means that you are not only aware of how you dress or what you eat, but being gay means that you have a certain attitude towards life. In a world full of heterosexual wonders gay men find their own way to muddle through: stylish, witty and creative, but never ever naff. You don’t know what naff is? Well, then it’s time to indulge the world of Simon Doonan.
Enjoy, and you’ll see that gay men don’t get fat.
January 23, 2012
The youth America will need to stop saying "That's gay" to describe something that's dumb, stupid, ridiculous, or not to their liking, because Simon Doonan goes to show that not only is the French woman far more fabulous than those of us in America, but gay men are faaaaarrrr more fabulous than French women or any straight laced, boring, heterosexuals. In fact, after reading "Gay Men Don't Get Fat", I wlll be writing Simon Doonan in for President on the 2012 election ballot. Michelle Bachmann, be damned.
April 17, 2015
I was shocked to see that this book was published in 2012, because it reeks of the early 90’s. Amongst all the tiring name dropping and long-outdated references stood only a weak attempt at classifying the gay community. Although it seems that Doonan’s target audience is straight woman (riding on the “Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man” success), I can’t see a straight woman (or anyone under 50) making it even halfway through this book, muddling through all of his obscure gay musings and icons. This is one man’s desperate attempt to grasp onto his heyday...which is long gone.
July 15, 2012
I loved Wacky Chicks, so I was happy to pick up another Simon Doonan book and prepare to laugh. While there are some wickedly funny sections, overall I found myself a little disappointed. Doonan plays to stereotypes, repeats the same jokes several times between essays (we get it, gay men are just like French women!) and is generally a little too snarky for my taste. A fine beach read, but keep your expectations in check.
March 20, 2012
Hilarious! I enjoyed everything from the floral print shirts to the summer barbecues. I didn't want to put this book down. Although the author got "off topic" quite often, he did it with flair, and humor. He did it in a way that could be appreciated and relates to how people become distracted in real life situations. Pretty awesome!
June 12, 2012
A lot of his references went over my head, but, then again, he is from an older generation. The book was educational for me as a gay man. Had only heard of Palare, the gay dialect made popular in London, but Doonan breaks it down. His insights are laugh-out-loud funny. He can be critical without being mean. Felt like he was an old friend after reading the book. Recommended!
July 9, 2012
I LOVED this book. I bought it on my Kindle and flew brought it with me to the pool. Fastest little read. Although the ending is very abrupt. There you are reading about his attention whore 15 seconds of fame and then suddenly BOOM! the book is over. Regardless, READ IT!Simon Doonan is hilarious. He is so dead on about the relationship between a gay and his hags!
March 4, 2014
Maybe the most perfect book ever for reading on the exercise bike. Though the title is iconic, it is not accurate. A fact proven by his chapter (probably the longest in the book) on the Bear subculture.
Should have had more pictures.
Should have had more pictures.
January 15, 2012
Enjoyable book, but not his best. I think he is at his finest when speaking about himself, his husband (Jonathan Adler), or his family. But I must say there are plenty of laugh out loud moments in this book. The man has a way with words.
January 31, 2012
Yet another work of towering genius by the inestimable Simon Doonan.
The illustration on the cover of the book looks as much like Simon as it is possible for an outline drawing to look like anyone.
The illustration on the cover of the book looks as much like Simon as it is possible for an outline drawing to look like anyone.
June 12, 2012
Finished reading this morn. Some (very few) parts were funny. Most were not. Played up to too many stereotypes. Condescending to those who aren't gay.
A little "too gay" for my liking in the long run.
Shame, I've liked his past articles and such.
A little "too gay" for my liking in the long run.
Shame, I've liked his past articles and such.
April 12, 2012
The humor, the fun of how literature unfolds in all its splendor, the spellbinding tactics, and the starking take home points afforded by the ever colorful gay life that transcends every creed, religion or belief makes this a book to live by.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 61 reviews