The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself: A Guide to Dating, Self-Worth and Becoming the Main Character of Your Life

by Tinx

The INSTANT New York Times bestseller.

A guide to dating, self-worth and becoming the main character of your life.

It’s time to get laser focused on what makes us feel happy and fulfilled. In The Shift , lifestyle creator, advice expert and podcast host Tinx collects all her revolutionary theories and hilarious personal anecdotes in one place, presenting you with a guide to simple mindset shifts that will completely change the way you approach decision making and relationships.

Through her own stories, from the good to the bad, Tinx will help you better understand how to step into your power and own self-worth. Some say you cannot love another before you learn to love Tinx will teach you how to do both at the same time. And she’ll do it while making you laugh out loud.

Making small but mighty shifts in thinking can be a tool for personal growth that fuels you instead of fatigues you. Tinx wants to take your hand and guide you to a new way of thinking about life, love, happiness and friendships – where dating evolves into era of self-discovery and not just a means to an end, sharing wisdom becomes a collective power, and chaos turns into a source of creativity. The point is to know yourself, discover what you fulfills you, and have fun along the way.

With her signature wit and honesty, Tinx will teach
> How to change your scarcity mindset
> How to understand and employ her famous Box Theory dating concept
> How to feed the things that fulfill you
> How living well is the best revenge
> How therapy can reframe struggles into strengths
> How to break up with dignity
> How knowing your worth makes you a better friend and partner

The lifestyle creator, advice expert and host of the It’s Me, Tinx podcast shares her hilarious and (sometimes brutally) honest wisdom on how to shift your approach to life, step into your confidence, and enjoy the journey.

Genres: Self Help, Audiobook, Nonfiction, Relationships, Memoir, Personal Development, Romance

280 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 25, 2023

About the author

Hailed as “TikTok’s Big Sister,” Christina Najjar―better known as Tinx―is a viral content creator with an audience of over 2 million, known for her real-talk dating advice. Tinx is also the NYT bestselling author of THE SHIFT and host of IT’S ME, TINX on Sirius XM.

source: Amazon

Reviews

[Emma Griffioen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not sure why I keep reading these influencer books that I am clearly not the audience for, but I needed an audiobook for my walk at lunch and this the one I picked on my way out the door. I am happy I finished listening to it throughout the afternoon, because I don't think I'd have any motivation to pick it up again another day. I don't even follow Tinx on any of her platforms, so I don't think I am the best person to review this, not to mention it is a dating advice book and I am in an almost 7-year relationship.🤣 It was pretty basic, none of the advice was life-changing or profound. But oh well, this helped me a bit as I try and pull myself out of this month-long reading slump!

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable but likely forgettable. I don’t have TikTok and only knew Tinx through a podcast I listen to that had her on it, but everything in the book was easy to read. I just don’t think anything was necessarily new? Seemed pretty generic, although I liked her casual writing style.

[Reagan Rollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I need a therapist

[Dea · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know the age of the target audience for this, but whoever you are, please get your advice from any other book on this planet. I gave up a few pages in when the author said that making TikTok videos is "what I was put on earth to do", used the phrase "How's his dick game?", and titled a chapter "A Hot Girl's Guide: How to trap a fuckboi."

[Madison Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every young girl - read this NOWWWWW

[Hannah Degn · Rating 3 out of 5]

!!! This book is definitely only worth reading if you identify as a heterosexual woman in the throes of dating men!!!*

I did LOVE her point that people are falling in love every day and what makes me so special that I think that won’t happen to me. Great thought to help me reframe my own perspective.

~i will have an abundance mindset about dating and put forth confident energy during my 30th year~

It was short and quick, with some memoir vibes and I enjoyed it even if it isn’t groundbreaking. If you enjoy her content you already know what to expect and will also ~probably~ like it.

Except @SYDARV I think this book will bug you HAHAHA 😘 (bc u taught me about dating being a numbers game and u are way better at it)

*If you are not a single woman and would like to know more about navigating dating men in this day and age, Ghosts is still best for that.

[crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book seriously did me wonders. it taught me things, made me realize i was doing things I didn’t even realize! and overall, made me feel amazing because it showed me so much. definitely already feel my mind shifting the way it thinks and I am LOVING IT. tinx did such an amazing job, ugh. a girl’s girl forreal!! i annotated the heck out of this book because i already know im going to be rereading some highlights over and over again!!!! thank you tinx🥹

[Marissa Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a Tinx follower & listener I know and appreciate her style of advice in the form of little theories and rules that help women shift their mindset. I don’t know of anyone before her that addressed issues women deal with in modern dating in such a clear and valid way.

Most of these theories / rules / mantras are regurgitated from her socials and podcast, so it didn’t feel net new. I did enjoy the few new personal stories like the toxic French guy from her 20s and how she dealt with being cancelled. But the overall writing felt like she was talking or writing for a teen vogue article, and knowing her background I feel like she could’ve stepped it up a notch.

4 stars mostly just because I like her and agree wholeheartedly with her advice, not because this was a life-changing read.

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was NOT expecting to like this as much as I did… especially as someone who didn’t listen to/ follow tinx at all prior to reading.. but as a single 30 year old, I’m always open to dating/ life advice.. I was told that it was alot of things we already know as women but I actually don’t even agree with that. A lot of the perspective SHIFTS are told in ways I wouldn’t have necessarily thought of and it really did change my outlook on dating and being single at this age!! I seriously loved this so much I read it (well… listened to it).. TWICE like who the heck am I… recommending to all my single girlies - 10/10

[Laurel Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book kinda felt like the first time I put on glasses and realized everyone else could see all the leaves ! Or when I started anxiety meds and the sky seemed brighter. Just read it, it’s encouraging and adding so much fun back into my life.

[Ally · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. 90% of the book was dating advice which I don’t feel it was marketed as. Also for some reason I thought the book had a negative outlook. I felt a little negative after reading it.

[Bridgey McElroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy rollercoaster ride of personal emotions, bb!!!! I read this at a very interesting interesting time in my life. I think Tinx wrote this for a niche audience, and had I started it even 2 weeks before I did, it would have left a totally different impression on me as a light, cute, fun regurgitation of a lot of her instagram content. Timing is errrrethang.

Instead, in my current emotional state (read: extremely volatile, unstable -or as Tinx says, wobbly - and generally sad but ~~~healing and thankful~) it HIT me. Hard. Parts of what she said really resonated as I tip toe hesitantly into my next stage of life. Other parts just made me shamelessly cry on the subway. Shamelessly cry walking down the street. Shamelessly cry in Whole Foods. Hmph.

Anyway, can’t wait to make our next book club a group therapy session, girlies!!! Xox

Side note: I wish she cursed a little less? But, on a technical level, I appreciated that she’s an actual writer and that this was well done.

[Maddie Giancola · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.8 ⭐️ I wish I was 21 when I first read this book. Self-love and relationships with your girlfriends are everything. This is the older equivalent of the American Girl Doll Puberty/ Body Book, but on relationships, dating, and self discovery! 💕

[Allison Riding Larsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 — nothing new if you’ve already been following her on social media. I have quoted Tinx to girlfriends more times than I can count; my biggest takeaways are respect your own dignity and appreciate the phase of life you’re in.

[Carlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was great. Perfect length and very easy to read. Whether you know/like tinx or not she had a great perspective on your mindset and how women think. Made me think a lot and definitely highlighted a lot of things. I’d recommend to anyone

[Sarah Coughlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I will be giving this to every young woman I know on her 18th birthday. I wish I had Tinx then

[Bri Fick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was recommended this by a friend and just finished.

Starting with the good: the advice was pretty solid and I like the first section a lot. I like the crush list idea, Boyfriend Sickness was an interesting section, and the section about parents. Overall, the theme revolved around focusing on yourself first and having that energy radiate outwards, which I think is fair.

What I didn’t like:
“Now I want to be the influencer I needed in my twenties.” Girl be so for real. No one needs an influencer in their twenties.
Ok so wasn’t a huge fan of this book. I think the lessons were good but I also think I already knew them. It wasn’t revolutionary to me, and I think there have been a lot of books about relationships and self worth that we’re done far better. Truthfully, reading a book of advice from an influencer just doesn’t do it for me because I don’t think influencers are very relatable in lifestyle.

[Lauren Nesic]

This is essential reading for all girls. Not just girls that are currently dating, even those of us in long term relationships. This is a book about girlhood, self worth, growth and female empowerment.

[Caroline Morawski · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read! While Tinx is a little preachy for me at times, she reminded me that I’m young, hot, am the main character in my life, female friendships are the best, and in being in love is so exciting. Doesn’t get much better than that!

[Hannah Feeney · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars not because I didn’t like it (I did!) but mainly because I thought the writing was ehhh and that there was nothing super groundbreaking in the book. I think I would have rated it higher if I listened to it rather than read it.

I also personally have a hard time with rules because as soon as you give me a set, I am looking for the exceptions.

That being said, I thought the overall message was great and loved the theme of focusing on yourself and your friendships, the rest will follow. I appreciated her honesty & her stories and think that the content is relatable to a wide audience.


“At some point, you have to realize you’re all you’ve got”

[Katherine Nowak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tinx is the best this is great advice!!!! Her outlook on life has absolutely influenced the way I think about friendships/family/dating/jobs/everything about being in my early twenties.
-1 star because I felt like I knew a lot of this stuff already from the podcast/insta

[Reese Scarborough · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every girl should read this

[Heather Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

I COULDN’T BE MORE OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK! Thank you Tinx for being all of our big sisters and our biggest cheerleader! Life is weird and hard and amazing and Tinx gives such hilarious and honest advice about all of it! She slaps me in the face when I needed it and pushes me forward in the best way! This book was hilarious and amazing. Such a must read!! 🤩

[Lindsey Sullivan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was so aggressively fine haha I do think the concept of shifting your mindset to help with the hell of dating is a solid idea so that’s alright. She speaks to this book only being from her perspective as a heterosexual woman, which I can appreciate, but in general it felt like it leaned to hard on stereotypes which bummed me out.

[Abby Arntz · Rating 3 out of 5]

(3.5) recommended by a friend and was not hopeful that i would enjoy. actually ended up really liking it though! made me laugh and also helped me rethink some of how i see dating in your 20s/being in your 20s in general!

[Christin Hanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like I was on the couch w a bestie talking about how to be our best selves.. and that deserves 5 stars

[Pamela Byarlay · Rating 2 out of 5]

i think that some of the basic logic is sound, but the irrelevant (and frankly uninteresting) tidbits about her life, as well as the poor quality of her writing, kinda made it hard to finish.

[paige (paigesofbookss) · Rating 4 out of 5]

as some of you know @tinx is one of my fav influencers. I am a loyal listener of her podcast and watcher of her instagram stories. When I found out she was coming out with a book and I was so lucky to be gifted this book by @simonschusterca I couldn’t wait to read it. Tinx shares in depth all the wisdom and lessons she talks about on her podcast but really breaking it down for us. Her book, The Shift, helps us shift our mindset as we go through life enduring love, relationships, friendships and the battle of loving yourself.

This was a slow start for me but once I hit a certain part I could not put this book down. Very similar to Dolly Alderton, Tinx words feel very relatable and like chatting with a friend. Her advice always does help me reflect and shift my perspective. I needed an influencer like Tinx years ago, but I’m so glad I found her now.

[Stephanie Wellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read tinx’s book as I diligently listen to her podcast 3 times a week. These are all the same messages as her podcast, but they hit a little different in writing— like a different voice saying the same things. All in all, maybe a little cheesy, but a fun quick upbeat read.

[Jade · Rating 4 out of 5]

Écouté en audiobook. J’ai vraiment aimé ce livre, j’aurais même aimé le lire pour surligner et annoter certains passages. Je recommande à toutes les femmes, célibataire ou en couple, il y a des bons conseils pour toutes.