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My Father's List: How Living My Dad's Dreams Set Me Free
Featured in New York Post and People Magazine
On the cusp of middle age, a newlywed journalist discovers and finishes the bucket list of her late free-spirited father.
Fifty-four adventures in six years. That’s what thirty-eight-year-old journalist Laura Carney embarked on when she discovered her late father Mick’s bucket list.
Killed in a car crash when Laura was twenty-five, Mick seemed lost forever. My Father’s List is the story of how one woman—with the help of family, friends, and even strangers—found the courage to go after her own dreams after realizing those of a beloved yet mysterious man. This is a story about secrets—and the freedom we feel when we learn to trust in life, in love, and in a father’s lessons on how to fully live.
On the cusp of middle age, a newlywed journalist discovers and finishes the bucket list of her late free-spirited father.
Fifty-four adventures in six years. That’s what thirty-eight-year-old journalist Laura Carney embarked on when she discovered her late father Mick’s bucket list.
Killed in a car crash when Laura was twenty-five, Mick seemed lost forever. My Father’s List is the story of how one woman—with the help of family, friends, and even strangers—found the courage to go after her own dreams after realizing those of a beloved yet mysterious man. This is a story about secrets—and the freedom we feel when we learn to trust in life, in love, and in a father’s lessons on how to fully live.
306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 13, 2023
80 people are currently reading
726 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 66 reviews
June 13, 2024
3.5 ⭐
Sorry, no book review. Just a list of thoughts from reading it last month. My heart is too raw and too heavy to review this particular book. Great book club today.
💚“It can take years to understand all that is lost when your loved one dies.”
💚For some, grief sets in and has paralyzing effects, for Laura, “it became the fulcrum at which new life grows.”
💚 “When my dad wrote the list in 1978, she’d (Laura’s mom) found it impractical. When I told her my plan to finish it six months earlier, she’d called it impossible. I didn’t know what to make of her change of heart.”
💚 “Huckleberry friend” = someone you experience life with in an easy way. Someone with whom you can be your total self.
💚Luck can only enter your life when you let go of it. Love can only enter your heart when you give it away.
💚If you see a dragonfly, your life is about to change
💚 “I realized that if I looked at my life through a filter of abundance, I could shift from taking to giving. God would provide - it was my job to provide for others. My gifts weren’t there so I could compete. They were there so I could give.”
💚The grasshopper is an animal that can only move forward
💚There is an emotion more expansive than grief. Love.
💚”It was what the Irish call a ‘thin place.’ They say heaven and earth are usually three feet apart, but in a thin place they’re closer. You can’t ever set out to find a thin place. Thin places have to find you.”
💚Origins of term ‘jazz’ and why New Orleans is the most haunted city in the USA
💚mistake success for happiness
💚Black-eyed Susans = seeds of hope
💚 Her dad embraced the good of his past, was mindful of his present and had optimism about his future. The author states that this is the only way to make authentic choices in life - the energy you bring with you affects the outcome.
💚Everything good is on the other side of fear
Sorry, no book review. Just a list of thoughts from reading it last month. My heart is too raw and too heavy to review this particular book. Great book club today.
💚“It can take years to understand all that is lost when your loved one dies.”
💚For some, grief sets in and has paralyzing effects, for Laura, “it became the fulcrum at which new life grows.”
💚 “When my dad wrote the list in 1978, she’d (Laura’s mom) found it impractical. When I told her my plan to finish it six months earlier, she’d called it impossible. I didn’t know what to make of her change of heart.”
💚 “Huckleberry friend” = someone you experience life with in an easy way. Someone with whom you can be your total self.
💚Luck can only enter your life when you let go of it. Love can only enter your heart when you give it away.
💚If you see a dragonfly, your life is about to change
💚 “I realized that if I looked at my life through a filter of abundance, I could shift from taking to giving. God would provide - it was my job to provide for others. My gifts weren’t there so I could compete. They were there so I could give.”
💚The grasshopper is an animal that can only move forward
💚There is an emotion more expansive than grief. Love.
💚”It was what the Irish call a ‘thin place.’ They say heaven and earth are usually three feet apart, but in a thin place they’re closer. You can’t ever set out to find a thin place. Thin places have to find you.”
💚Origins of term ‘jazz’ and why New Orleans is the most haunted city in the USA
💚mistake success for happiness
💚Black-eyed Susans = seeds of hope
💚 Her dad embraced the good of his past, was mindful of his present and had optimism about his future. The author states that this is the only way to make authentic choices in life - the energy you bring with you affects the outcome.
💚Everything good is on the other side of fear
dnf
June 7, 2023DNF @ 20-ish%
I recieved a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I just couldn't with this. It's not well crafted. It needs to have a more realistic synopsis, or a heavy round of editing done. With memoirs in which you don't know the author, you can't just start oversharing on page 5 if it's not what the book's about. The bucket list story is over and done by chapter 1, and then each chapter follows a different bucket list item, with no consistency at all. Some are very short, some are very long. Most have useless/uninteresting information in the middle. I can see how as the author you want people to know who your dad was, but you can make that more efficiently from a craftmanship point of view than by derailing the whole story for 3/4 of a chapter to tell us about his divorce. Had this been more subtle and more focused on the bucket list itself, it would've been a hit for me.
I recieved a copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I just couldn't with this. It's not well crafted. It needs to have a more realistic synopsis, or a heavy round of editing done. With memoirs in which you don't know the author, you can't just start oversharing on page 5 if it's not what the book's about. The bucket list story is over and done by chapter 1, and then each chapter follows a different bucket list item, with no consistency at all. Some are very short, some are very long. Most have useless/uninteresting information in the middle. I can see how as the author you want people to know who your dad was, but you can make that more efficiently from a craftmanship point of view than by derailing the whole story for 3/4 of a chapter to tell us about his divorce. Had this been more subtle and more focused on the bucket list itself, it would've been a hit for me.
September 11, 2023
If the author says she cried or says the word “vegan” again, I’m going to scream!
June 23, 2023
I couldn’t put down this book. Laura’s story is compelling, inspiring, and filled with love. Reading about her ups and downs finishing her father’s bucket list was an emotional rollercoaster and a beautiful story. It will resonate with anyone who has lost someone, lost themself, or thought of making their own list. I started writing mine while reading this book! Laura’s voice is funny and candid and shines through in every word. Read it!
August 7, 2023
I like the premise but it skipped around a bit, a little drawn out. Just ok
February 22, 2023
Laura’s book is so beautiful and easy to read. I loved how she developed her story and I thought she did so much more than just explaining a list her father wrote. She goes into detail about her parents and her own relationship and how she tackles her life and learns about herself by completing her father’s bucket list.
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I am giving the book 5 stars and telling my friends to add this to their TBR pile!
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. I am giving the book 5 stars and telling my friends to add this to their TBR pile!
October 29, 2023
I picked this book for my book club, due to it sounding so interesting. I was drawn to it especially because I went sky diving to celebrate turning 60 and it’s something my Dad always wanted to do (he passed in ‘21 at 90 years old). Anyway, about 1/2 way through the book I just said out loud “this book is boring!” Way too much about the author’s ailments, many many meds during college, breaking up with the boyfriend, moving from place to place, getting & losing jobs, etc. I thought it was going to be about her adventures of completing the list, but the chapters were all over the place and all about her & very little about her dad. Also his list is 60 items, her book includes only 14 of them. I think the title should have been “My Hot Mess Life!” Sorry, I just could not get into this one. I pushed through and finished, only because it was a book club pick. I’ll add more after our discussion on 11/4. Maybe it was just me….. but really don’t waste your money on this one.
July 28, 2023
DNF audio. After reading an excerpt in Guidepost magazine, I was looking forward to reading more about Ms Carney’s father’s “bucket list.” I couldn’t appreciate the accomplishment of this list as this book is focused more of the author and her problems and less on the list. I understand the author’s desire to inform others of her challenges, but I did not realize this is a memoir of Ms Carney and has little to do with her father. Further, I was taught not to speak disrespectfully of the dead. Ms Carney not only aired her dirty laundry but also that of her father. Very disappointing to me.
September 4, 2023
I was so excited to read this after seeing an interview about the author. And while the story itself is heart-warming and I am happy she felt satisfied and that this was a great experience for her, as a story, the writing style felt all over the place and I struggled to follow her train of thought. And, it was not what I expected as I thought the book would focus more on the bucket list, but it was more about the author's life.
March 16, 2024
It's just all mixed up -- past, far past, present, back and forth, and you never know what order the events happen. Too many people to keep track of, and too many tears. I don't think some of the items she checked off the list were really completed ("own a big house on my own property," for example.) On the positive side, there were some interesting stories about her family and her life. I'm glad taking on the project of her Dad's list and writing this book helped her find joy.
December 20, 2023
The premise hooked me. The writing lost me. Too much about the author’s dysfunctional life and not enough about completing the bucket list items.
July 23, 2025
As of writing this review, it’s DNF. I might try to force my way through it, but the writing is just so bad and the story is so uninspired and dull. The descriptions in this book are so lacking that I was surprised to find out that she’s written and copyrighted for so many companies. “This is my therapist, who looks like Obama by the way.” “Thin space. Thin space. Thin space.” I am just genuinely baffled at how poorly this is written. The author’s train of thought is incredibly scattered, it’s more like reading a bullet point list than a novel.
I also just can’t get past the “conversations” she’s having with several dead people. It feels disrespectful of the dead, but that’s probably just my take on it.
The concept of the story wasn’t bad. The idea of doing your father’s bucket list after he’s passed is actually great! Original? No, but it’s usually fun! This wasn’t fun. Overall, it was just genuinely a disappointment of a read. Out of all the memoirs I’ve read, this has unfortunately been my least favorite one.
I also just can’t get past the “conversations” she’s having with several dead people. It feels disrespectful of the dead, but that’s probably just my take on it.
The concept of the story wasn’t bad. The idea of doing your father’s bucket list after he’s passed is actually great! Original? No, but it’s usually fun! This wasn’t fun. Overall, it was just genuinely a disappointment of a read. Out of all the memoirs I’ve read, this has unfortunately been my least favorite one.
July 22, 2025
Audio. The author gulps regularly and I had to put it faster to drown that out. I found this incredibly boring and should have quit at first gulp when I heard it. I get the author wanting to read her own book but people who record audio books have a real talent. This wasn’t it.
April 14, 2023
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC and Laura Carney for this gem. This book is a stunner. Beautifully written yet complex. Not afraid to tackle family dynamics and learn about herself in the process. To have your own bucket list is lovely. The wishes and dreams you have for yourself. To complete your fathers is a privilege. This is a one sit book. Once you start, you won’t put it down.
June 13, 2023
LOVED THIS BOOK! If I could give it more than 5 stars, I would.
I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of Laura's memoir. From beginning to end, My Father’s List is a master class in storytelling. Laura beautifully and vulnerably shares the story of finishing her late father’s bucket list while weaving in tales of life, loss, and learning to live authentically. Her poignant memoir reminds us that we are capable of more than we know, and death is not the end.
I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of Laura's memoir. From beginning to end, My Father’s List is a master class in storytelling. Laura beautifully and vulnerably shares the story of finishing her late father’s bucket list while weaving in tales of life, loss, and learning to live authentically. Her poignant memoir reminds us that we are capable of more than we know, and death is not the end.
June 12, 2023
This is really beautifully written and easy to read.
I lost my father recently and found myself tearing up throughout.
I love that she had this list and it helped her connect to her father again and learn some life lessons along the way.
It made me think about what my father would have wanted on his bucket list.
A lovely story that everyone should read to feel connected to a lost loved one.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
I lost my father recently and found myself tearing up throughout.
I love that she had this list and it helped her connect to her father again and learn some life lessons along the way.
It made me think about what my father would have wanted on his bucket list.
A lovely story that everyone should read to feel connected to a lost loved one.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!
September 26, 2023
My Father’s List
How Living My Dad’s Dreams
Set Me Free
By Laura Carney
Memoir
Book Review By Sylvia Jacobs
This is a memoir about Laura’s father and how she did the things on his bucket list when he passed away. She actually finished it. What a tribute to her dad this is. This book can help others as she turned her terrible loss of her dad into something positive. This book will inspire many people. Some say “it will challenge you to face all your fears.” All the events described in the book are true.
How many things are listed on the bucket list? Who found the bucket list? One will have to read the book to find out. As discussed in the book, it can take years to understand all that is lost when someone you love passes away. Moving forward afterwards takes a lot of strength and the way Laura does it is one for the books. This is truly inspiring for all.
How does one heal from these losses? Will a photograph do it? Will remembering a conversation one had with the person work you through the grief?
The bucket list was listed on three pieces of folded notebook paper. The list was in a small brown suede pouch with a drawstring. Her dad wrote the list when he was 29 years old. The list was titled “things I would like to do in my lifetime.”
One positive of the book starts in the Foreword of the book.
When will adore this quote shared in the Foreword. “Miracle shall follow miracle and wonders shall never cease.”
A negative was learning that Laura’s father passed away in 2003 after being struck with a car by a distracted 17 year old driver. Laura was only 25 years old at that time. At that time she was pursuing her dream of becoming a writer in New York.
Laura‘s dad encouraged her and really wanted her to become a writer. That was one dream she had to make happen.
Eight years later, she worked at a women’s magazine, her dad would have been very proud of her.
I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars for the love this author had for her father. The love was shown by the author writing such a book. Can you imagine doing a bucket list left by a parent? This is one amazing human and quite an inspiration for all.
This book is recommended for all that want to be inspired. “Love can only enter your heart when you give it away.” There is much to quote from this amazing book that all are talking about.
How Living My Dad’s Dreams
Set Me Free
By Laura Carney
Memoir
Book Review By Sylvia Jacobs
This is a memoir about Laura’s father and how she did the things on his bucket list when he passed away. She actually finished it. What a tribute to her dad this is. This book can help others as she turned her terrible loss of her dad into something positive. This book will inspire many people. Some say “it will challenge you to face all your fears.” All the events described in the book are true.
How many things are listed on the bucket list? Who found the bucket list? One will have to read the book to find out. As discussed in the book, it can take years to understand all that is lost when someone you love passes away. Moving forward afterwards takes a lot of strength and the way Laura does it is one for the books. This is truly inspiring for all.
How does one heal from these losses? Will a photograph do it? Will remembering a conversation one had with the person work you through the grief?
The bucket list was listed on three pieces of folded notebook paper. The list was in a small brown suede pouch with a drawstring. Her dad wrote the list when he was 29 years old. The list was titled “things I would like to do in my lifetime.”
One positive of the book starts in the Foreword of the book.
When will adore this quote shared in the Foreword. “Miracle shall follow miracle and wonders shall never cease.”
A negative was learning that Laura’s father passed away in 2003 after being struck with a car by a distracted 17 year old driver. Laura was only 25 years old at that time. At that time she was pursuing her dream of becoming a writer in New York.
Laura‘s dad encouraged her and really wanted her to become a writer. That was one dream she had to make happen.
Eight years later, she worked at a women’s magazine, her dad would have been very proud of her.
I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars for the love this author had for her father. The love was shown by the author writing such a book. Can you imagine doing a bucket list left by a parent? This is one amazing human and quite an inspiration for all.
This book is recommended for all that want to be inspired. “Love can only enter your heart when you give it away.” There is much to quote from this amazing book that all are talking about.
July 26, 2025
I rarely give up on a book after a few chapters, but this one was not engaging and the biggest urge to dump it into my "not worth the time" was because of the writing style and grammar. Terrible
(and our library selected it as this fall's One City One Book for community discussions)
(and our library selected it as this fall's One City One Book for community discussions)
August 21, 2025
DNF. Kindle. Downloaded this after seeing it was the selection for Greensboro’s Fall 2025 One City One Book program. But it just wasn’t for me. Read 20% of it and packed it in. I didn’t feel invested in the author or her relationship to her father, and it wasn’t clear that his bucket list had been a serious undertaking on his part or just written on a whim. He’d never mentioned it ti his family, they just found it after his death. I read about her completing 2 items, a 10-mile run and a swim across the width of a river. The fact that she wouldn’t let herself walk during the “run” but she walked and crawled in shallow water during the “swim” made no sense. That was enough for me.
September 11, 2023
Grieving a parent. How to stay connected and acknowledge their influence and significance in your life. A roadmap for going forward. How to connect other people that touched their life. How to process in an interdependent method, their life's chapters. How to be present in your own.
Though this was her personal experience with her own special dad, I can see how cathartic reading this might be for those that have also lost a parent that they were close to.
Though this was her personal experience with her own special dad, I can see how cathartic reading this might be for those that have also lost a parent that they were close to.
September 22, 2023
I loved the premise of “My Father’s List.” Laura Carney challenged herself through each bucket list item. The reader is taken along her adventures and sorrows of missing her father.
I struggled at times to follow the sequence of events or I would have given more stars. There are a lot of gems and I recommend this book.
I struggled at times to follow the sequence of events or I would have given more stars. There are a lot of gems and I recommend this book.
December 10, 2023
Very sweet memoir of a woman who set out to complete her dad’s bucket list after he tragically passed away. He had set the bar pretty high! So many miracles happened to help her achieve her goal. Very enjoyable and inspiring.
July 5, 2023
The hype and high reviews had me expecting so much more.
October 14, 2023
Inspiring. Makes me want to make my own list and get to work enjoying life in a deeper way.
July 16, 2024
What a colossal, self-righteous whiny rant. The last straw was classifying a vegan doughnut as a” thin place.” Good gracious, what a bore.
July 1, 2023
I had high hopes for this book, and actually ordered a real-life hard copy when I saw it being cleverly touted on a TV show whose parent company also owned the publishing company of this book. It was the author, Laura Carney’s first book, likely her only, as she was in her early 40’s and used the unique hook of fulfilling her Dad’s bucket list found a few years earlier. Though there is some tie to her adventures at fulfilling some of the 60 items, it was mainly a memoir, outlaying the hardships she faced growing up on heavy meds, and possibly burdened with ADHD or bipolar personality. It really was a little heartbreaking seeing how her divorced parents (with a secret) tried to carve a good path for her. Rotten school kids seemed to have scarred her at least as much as her family life.
Outside of her mental challenges as a youth, her situation seemed a little pedestrian to me. The stint in the mental health ‘institution’ was sad and a little scary (e.g., electric shock therapy!) I had been hoping for wisdom earned from the Herculean tasks set out for her, but her personality and childhood burdens carried into adulthood made this more about personal growth to overcome those deep-rooted psychological wars she was mired in, even as an adult forced out to the adult world. She may have looked fine on the exterior, but her insides were no doubt still a war zone. From the reviews, I see that this book hit home for many, and was no doubt cathartic for the author, in a daily journal way. She cleared her soul in the process, since she had deep-seated anger issues with her dad’s divorce and death by auto accident when she was 25. The subtitle was so appropriate - How Living My Dad’s Dreams Set Me Free.
This book was clearly about that journey, that cleansing for her, and a little part tracking/journaling about her career, and a very minor part peaking at how she made her way through her father’s bucket list items. Good for those readers who 5-star reviewed this, and good for her for becoming the person she is today, and good for her for publishing a book that resounds with so many people. I’m sure she has given folks courage and fortitude they may not have had before.
But unfortunately for me, the read was disjointed. Hard to follow. Hard to enjoy. And her seeing signs and symbols in EVERYTHING seemed a little too coincidental or perhaps contrived for my tastes. I’m not doubting her sincerity, but it seemed every event, like walking down the London street and spotting a fox, the “symbol of diplomacy” crossed the border yet again. It felt like the editor was giving her a free pass when it came to organizing thoughts, as they seemed to careen around, making it frustrating to fully appreciate her story. Her intent was clear though. Spirituality rose from every page, with supernatural essence oozing from most all of her thoughts, a great counterbalance against her bad juju from her youth and it’s lack of self confidence… I did enjoy her journeys and travelogue history, short and sweet but nice research tidbits of her travels… though some of her perceived points of interest offered up were mundane and pedestrian, more suited for a diary, like who walked slow, who was late. And lots of family bickering.
It was hard to imagine her carrying on this expensive list with unsteady jobs, with her health issues, and her family and husband. Some were very expensive (like traveling to London, Paris, Vienna, etc., attending the Rose Bowl and Final four basketball game, the New Orleans Jazz Festival thrown in, etc.) and she seemed unable to afford it, especially over an arbitrary time to complete the list. Then all of a sudden she’s rich from 8 freelance writing jobs despite being dropped by her literary agent… and can go to the Super Bowl after all ($5,000???). Huh?
This whole tale of completion is a little specious, until you see how she interprets each item to allow ‘completion’. Just a few eyebrow-raisers: beating a number one seed in tennis… having more money than you need… dancing with your grandchildren’s weddings, play a guitar (2 notes to the Jaws ‘song’ 😂)… golfing a few rounds in the 70s (when she’d never golfed in her life). I guess part of the book’s entertainment is the surprise at how she interprets each list item’s completion… such a clever (?) girl. 😂 I’m still not sure how she rationalized some of them (as not every task was explained)but why get picky… she was able to fill nearly 300 pages.
In the acknowledgements sections, the author writes to her dad with the gratefulness for him teaching her about selfishness, something she was not good at! What a wonderful gift. And then she acknowledged to us the readers, that she always thought this book was just for her. And for her Dad. I didn’t end up loving this self-help book so much, but how can you not LOVE the author, Laura Carney, who overcame such hardship to evolve to have a great peace of mind, I think… I hope. Kudos to you, Laura Carney. You’re AWESOME!
Outside of her mental challenges as a youth, her situation seemed a little pedestrian to me. The stint in the mental health ‘institution’ was sad and a little scary (e.g., electric shock therapy!) I had been hoping for wisdom earned from the Herculean tasks set out for her, but her personality and childhood burdens carried into adulthood made this more about personal growth to overcome those deep-rooted psychological wars she was mired in, even as an adult forced out to the adult world. She may have looked fine on the exterior, but her insides were no doubt still a war zone. From the reviews, I see that this book hit home for many, and was no doubt cathartic for the author, in a daily journal way. She cleared her soul in the process, since she had deep-seated anger issues with her dad’s divorce and death by auto accident when she was 25. The subtitle was so appropriate - How Living My Dad’s Dreams Set Me Free.
This book was clearly about that journey, that cleansing for her, and a little part tracking/journaling about her career, and a very minor part peaking at how she made her way through her father’s bucket list items. Good for those readers who 5-star reviewed this, and good for her for becoming the person she is today, and good for her for publishing a book that resounds with so many people. I’m sure she has given folks courage and fortitude they may not have had before.
But unfortunately for me, the read was disjointed. Hard to follow. Hard to enjoy. And her seeing signs and symbols in EVERYTHING seemed a little too coincidental or perhaps contrived for my tastes. I’m not doubting her sincerity, but it seemed every event, like walking down the London street and spotting a fox, the “symbol of diplomacy” crossed the border yet again. It felt like the editor was giving her a free pass when it came to organizing thoughts, as they seemed to careen around, making it frustrating to fully appreciate her story. Her intent was clear though. Spirituality rose from every page, with supernatural essence oozing from most all of her thoughts, a great counterbalance against her bad juju from her youth and it’s lack of self confidence… I did enjoy her journeys and travelogue history, short and sweet but nice research tidbits of her travels… though some of her perceived points of interest offered up were mundane and pedestrian, more suited for a diary, like who walked slow, who was late. And lots of family bickering.
It was hard to imagine her carrying on this expensive list with unsteady jobs, with her health issues, and her family and husband. Some were very expensive (like traveling to London, Paris, Vienna, etc., attending the Rose Bowl and Final four basketball game, the New Orleans Jazz Festival thrown in, etc.) and she seemed unable to afford it, especially over an arbitrary time to complete the list. Then all of a sudden she’s rich from 8 freelance writing jobs despite being dropped by her literary agent… and can go to the Super Bowl after all ($5,000???). Huh?
This whole tale of completion is a little specious, until you see how she interprets each item to allow ‘completion’. Just a few eyebrow-raisers: beating a number one seed in tennis… having more money than you need… dancing with your grandchildren’s weddings, play a guitar (2 notes to the Jaws ‘song’ 😂)… golfing a few rounds in the 70s (when she’d never golfed in her life). I guess part of the book’s entertainment is the surprise at how she interprets each list item’s completion… such a clever (?) girl. 😂 I’m still not sure how she rationalized some of them (as not every task was explained)but why get picky… she was able to fill nearly 300 pages.
In the acknowledgements sections, the author writes to her dad with the gratefulness for him teaching her about selfishness, something she was not good at! What a wonderful gift. And then she acknowledged to us the readers, that she always thought this book was just for her. And for her Dad. I didn’t end up loving this self-help book so much, but how can you not LOVE the author, Laura Carney, who overcame such hardship to evolve to have a great peace of mind, I think… I hope. Kudos to you, Laura Carney. You’re AWESOME!
August 12, 2024
Laura Carney is a writer, copy editor and anti-distracted driver activist. Her father was killed when she was younger by a teen who was on their phone. Many years later her brother found a bucket list her father wrote in the 1970s. She vowed that she would complete the list for him; however, the process of this endeavor also brings up many memories from the past so the book also reads like a memoir written in a flashback type style as the are not listed chronologically. Most of all she finds that doing this list makes her understand her father more and makes her feel like he's still by her side. Her faith is very much part of this but it's not written in a preachy fashion. Just as another part of her life. Most of all how her Dad's list pushed her past her comfort zone and she discovers the secret of truly becoming "free".
She explores her youth struggling with a mental illness, her parents divorce, learning a secret about her father he hid well as well as her struggles with achieving the life she wants. She spends a lot of time talking about her activism to get legislation in place to reduce distracted driving including her frustration and disillusionment when others compromise with "hands-free" phones in cars despite studies showing that "hands-free" is still distracting drivers. Her husband is amazing in his support as is her family. She is honest, vulnerable, and sometimes you may feel like she's taking those around her for granted when in fact she does appreciate them very much. Doing this list not only opened up her thinking but it increased her circle of friends including ones that could help her explain to her about why her father made some of the decisions he did.
I personally found this one hard to follow with the audio-book due to the many jumps in time due to her sporadic memories popping up. However, I suspect this was done in the order the popped up in her mind as she did the list. I could be wrong. So if you're one to prefer a life story to be told in chronological order be aware this book is not like that. It's still a story worth reading and perhaps it may make you take your own loved less for granted or to make your own "bucket list" to drive you onward.
She explores her youth struggling with a mental illness, her parents divorce, learning a secret about her father he hid well as well as her struggles with achieving the life she wants. She spends a lot of time talking about her activism to get legislation in place to reduce distracted driving including her frustration and disillusionment when others compromise with "hands-free" phones in cars despite studies showing that "hands-free" is still distracting drivers. Her husband is amazing in his support as is her family. She is honest, vulnerable, and sometimes you may feel like she's taking those around her for granted when in fact she does appreciate them very much. Doing this list not only opened up her thinking but it increased her circle of friends including ones that could help her explain to her about why her father made some of the decisions he did.
I personally found this one hard to follow with the audio-book due to the many jumps in time due to her sporadic memories popping up. However, I suspect this was done in the order the popped up in her mind as she did the list. I could be wrong. So if you're one to prefer a life story to be told in chronological order be aware this book is not like that. It's still a story worth reading and perhaps it may make you take your own loved less for granted or to make your own "bucket list" to drive you onward.
March 24, 2024
I find it interesting how people’s lives can be so different. I am the same age as the author, born in March 1978. While I’m not sure I would call her a free spirit (we immediately know who those people are the moment we meet them), she has flitted around her whole life … sometimes due to mental health struggles and sometimes due to perspective a struggle with finding ambition, commitment, or that something else. For someone who has successfully trained for marathons and iron man triathlons, I find it interesting that she couldn’t focus similarly on her education and career. I on the other hand have no discipline for sports/athletics but have been very education and career driven my entire life.
I did not particularly like this book, and at times I felt uncomfortable and voyeuristic watching the author self destruct chapter after chapter. But, again, this book isn’t about me. It’s the author’s therapy through writing, coming to terms with her nontraditional pathway in life and getting to know her father as an adult when she lost him before she thought as an adult. Bravo to her for having the courage to fail time and time again, pick herself up, and get back on her life’s journey. That she was able to positively connect with so many people in the process is the cherry on top of her vegan sundae.
Speaking of which…
I will definitely add this book to my growing list of why I will never be a vegan.
I did not particularly like this book, and at times I felt uncomfortable and voyeuristic watching the author self destruct chapter after chapter. But, again, this book isn’t about me. It’s the author’s therapy through writing, coming to terms with her nontraditional pathway in life and getting to know her father as an adult when she lost him before she thought as an adult. Bravo to her for having the courage to fail time and time again, pick herself up, and get back on her life’s journey. That she was able to positively connect with so many people in the process is the cherry on top of her vegan sundae.
Speaking of which…
I will definitely add this book to my growing list of why I will never be a vegan.
October 5, 2025
Hi, Laura!
I just finished your book and wonder if you read your reviews. Even though I am giving your book a 3-star rating, I also have a word of encouragement.
First of all, you are obviously a writer, but short pieces may be more your thing. Either your editor didn’t really edit, or you chose not to make suggested changes. Better chronology would have helped, and perhaps less stream of consciousness. One example: In Chapter 8, I believe, you and Steven plan your trip to London. In this chapter, you work at Guideposts, you work at Vanity Fair, you don’t work, and you are on jury duty. Help!
But does it really matter? Hey! You did what you wanted to do, got a book advance, and published your story! Good for you!!
Did you have a goal of winning a Pulitzer for this book? Or did you have a goal of honoring your father? And a side-benefit goal of personal growth yourself?
You certainly succeeded in the latter two, and two out of three isn’t bad! As you said about Herecles on page 235, Embrace the good about the past, Be mindful of the Present, and Have optimism about the future.
Best wishes.
I just finished your book and wonder if you read your reviews. Even though I am giving your book a 3-star rating, I also have a word of encouragement.
First of all, you are obviously a writer, but short pieces may be more your thing. Either your editor didn’t really edit, or you chose not to make suggested changes. Better chronology would have helped, and perhaps less stream of consciousness. One example: In Chapter 8, I believe, you and Steven plan your trip to London. In this chapter, you work at Guideposts, you work at Vanity Fair, you don’t work, and you are on jury duty. Help!
But does it really matter? Hey! You did what you wanted to do, got a book advance, and published your story! Good for you!!
Did you have a goal of winning a Pulitzer for this book? Or did you have a goal of honoring your father? And a side-benefit goal of personal growth yourself?
You certainly succeeded in the latter two, and two out of three isn’t bad! As you said about Herecles on page 235, Embrace the good about the past, Be mindful of the Present, and Have optimism about the future.
Best wishes.
April 13, 2023
Years after her father died when she was 25, Laura Carney learned about a wide-ranging bucket list he'd written the year she was born.
From skydiving, visiting Venice, and swimming across a river, to being a loving parent/partner and fulfilling creative goals such as publishing a book, recording songs, and playing piano or guitar, Laura's dad was a dreamer.
This memoir covers the six years Laura spent making his dreams come true--and in the process clarifying her own.
I had the privilege of reading an advance copy and stayed up late to finish in one go.
What I loved:
Laura is an honest storyteller. She unpacks complex family dynamics in past and present throughout her journey--which is ultimately one of self-discovery with her dad's spirit as a partner on the other side.
It's pretty incredible to hear about all the signs, synchronicities, and messages her dad arranges to encourage her in the pursuit. I believe all of this is REAL! I will always welcome more evidence and found Laura's account heartwarming and persuasive.
From skydiving, visiting Venice, and swimming across a river, to being a loving parent/partner and fulfilling creative goals such as publishing a book, recording songs, and playing piano or guitar, Laura's dad was a dreamer.
This memoir covers the six years Laura spent making his dreams come true--and in the process clarifying her own.
I had the privilege of reading an advance copy and stayed up late to finish in one go.
What I loved:
Laura is an honest storyteller. She unpacks complex family dynamics in past and present throughout her journey--which is ultimately one of self-discovery with her dad's spirit as a partner on the other side.
It's pretty incredible to hear about all the signs, synchronicities, and messages her dad arranges to encourage her in the pursuit. I believe all of this is REAL! I will always welcome more evidence and found Laura's account heartwarming and persuasive.
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