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My Teenage Dream Ended
At sixteen, she had everything a young girl could want: popularity, beauty, a spot on the cheerleading squad, and her first true love. Then, cruelly, without warning, everything changed.
Fans of MTV’s critically acclaimed hit documentary series Teen Mom have followed Farrah Abraham’s tumultuous life as a single teen mother. Her fiery, relentless spirit, and her unwavering commitment to getting the best out of life for herself and her daughter Sophia in spite of all the drama constantly surrounding her have made her a beloved star and media sensation. Now, in this remarkably candid, at times heartbreaking, utterly unflinching memoir, Farrah takes readers into the life that hasn’t been seen on television.
Fans of MTV’s critically acclaimed hit documentary series Teen Mom have followed Farrah Abraham’s tumultuous life as a single teen mother. Her fiery, relentless spirit, and her unwavering commitment to getting the best out of life for herself and her daughter Sophia in spite of all the drama constantly surrounding her have made her a beloved star and media sensation. Now, in this remarkably candid, at times heartbreaking, utterly unflinching memoir, Farrah takes readers into the life that hasn’t been seen on television.
222 pages, Hardcover
First published June 26, 2012
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October 16, 2012
warning- longest review in the world. First of all- I did not even know this book existed until the local librarian contacted me & told me that they had it at the town library if I was interested. Everyone knows my love of all things Teen Mom, and I was all over that shit.... so I stopped on my way to work and picked up this book.Immediately I was in love. The book My Teenage Dream Ended is a fucking trainwreck from the start. The cover of the book has the title in big, bold fuschia letters & a picture of Farrah and her homely baby Sophia. I was annoyed from the first moment I saw the cover picture. Farrah is in need of a fill on those Lee Press-on's that seem to be an epidemic among the Teen Moms, and poor lil baby Sophia has on this pink chipped nail polish. Yes it's not that big of a deal- but if you were putting a picture of your child on a book for everyone to see for FOREVER- would you let them have visible chipped nail polish? Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure her hair wasnt brushed for roughly 3 days prior to the photo being taken. And I couldn't help but think about the breast implant episode & contemplate WHY Farrah got a boob job before she got her nose done.
Anyway- on to the literary greatness inside the book....FUCKING MESS! There are like 102 chapters in this book. The book itself is like 204 pages. Who let this girl write a book and why didn't they teach her the basics. There are things that Farrah knows... like how to cook eggs, and how to tease her hair, and which Asian's know how to do the best manicure. Writing books is not included in the same list. So, each chapter is roughly 1 and a half pages long with catchy titles like "Calling all Pregnant Teens!" and "Not Like A Virgin". Chapter 1 ruins the whole stinkin' book. She tells us that she received a phone call that Derek, her baby daddy, died in a car accident. At this point you could stop reading the book because that's the only relatively important thing in the entire book. Instead, we read on and chapter 2 starts us all from the beginning. We learn that Derek was actually a friend's boyfriend first that was handed down to Farrah, who happened to be an all-star cheerleader when she was 16. I mention that she was a cheerleader because it was important to her. Important enough that she mentioned it approximately 2 times in each of the 102 chapters in this book. Farrah describes Derek as though he is the most perfect man on the face of the planet. I would argue this point because we've all seen pictures of the guy & his teeth are a little gappy for my liking. This didn't stop Farrah from sucking face with him all night at a party while she was wasted out of her mind... or "tipsy" as she repeatedly refers to it. Eventually the 2 star-crossed lovers actually become bf/gf which is good- because no one likes a Teen Mom that just makes out with random guys.
The next 98 chapters are filled with sex. I am not kidding. Apparently Farrah's parents were never fucking EVER around and she lived in an 18th century castle where no one could hear anything happening in the other chambers of the home. She's sneaking Derek into the house nightly and doing him. This is after their initial romantic encounter on Prom night in which Derek convinces Farrah to "try" to have sex with him so all of his friends don't make fun of him. She tries, she tells us in chapter 3 that his monster c*ck was too much for her so that was enough of that. So as time goes by and they get "pretty good" at sex (direct quote)... that's all they do. Luckily one of her friends has a pregnancy scare & that results in all of the crew heading to Planned Parenthood for the group rate as they all start on birth control at the same time. Clearly Deborah (Farrah's mom) wasn't too involved in things around this time. Farrah references Deborah "working from home" and going to school. The only other times that she's mentioned in the book is when she writes about how she tried to get her mother to "sign the permission slip for an abortion" and being arrested for domestic battery. Michael is NEVER in the picture unless he is driving someone somwhere or catching Farrah & Derek doing th deed.
Arrests. Giant portion of the book! At least three people are arrested in this lil story. Derek's mom rats him out for a gas and go & calls the police to arrest him at his graduation reception... What a jerk! (Butch never would have pulled that shit on Cate & Tyler.) Michael is arrested for punching Derek for fucking Farrah in the house. And then there's Deborah's moment of glory...
After an arguement about grocery shopping Farrah and her mom go into the house and get into a lil quarrel over the mail. Deborah throws a shirt at Sophia apparently? So Farrah goes & puts the baby in her cage and comes back and gets into a physical alteration with her mother. This happens-- I get that... But then Farrah goes upstairs & calls the police. Calls. The. Police. Shortly after, when the Council Bluffs PD shows up- Farrah comes downstairs to find Deborah with 2 (apparent) butcher knives & the cops have guns pulled & are screaming at her to "put the weapons down." I wish I could have been a fly on the wall because I can just see Deborah with her crazy frosted hair swinging knives at cops & Farrah coming down to find it all & trying to talk her back off the ledge with her monotone insults. "Mom. You're seriously crazy. Put the knives down. You are the reason we're all so fucked up. God. *eyeroll*" Deborah is eventually arrested & taken off to the clink while Farrah is left home to fend for herself.... and look after her own baby. Eventually DHS decides that Farrah & her mother & Sophia cant live in the same house- so Farrah HOPES that Deborah will move out. Of her own house. WTF is wrong with this girl? Needless to say Farrah gets the boot & has to live in a rental property that the fam owns... all the way across the street.
In the meantime, Farrah has spent the entire book telling us how she has sex with Derek, then they don't talk for 12-17 days, then they write notes to each other & end up getting back together. She blatently lied to the boy when he asked if she was pregnant with his baby. Repeatedly. But it's okay because "she hopes he would change and after she had the baby they could be a happy family". Her parents hate him, his parents hate her (and him for that matter), he drives a sweet Beretta or something & is both addicted to drugs and a racist. I am not joking about the racist accusation. Farrah actually published "You had sex with a n***er, I hate black people!" in the book as a direct quote from Derek. I thought that was pretty shitty... I mean- the dude's dead. Why make the black population hate him after he's dead. I didn't think we needed to drop the N-bomb, Farrah. But aside from sleeping with the black kid.... she is having sex with Derek everywhere... her bed, his bed, his moms bed, his shower, the hood of his car in a feild, in the hallway at a friends house. Basically all the two ever did together was have sex, and eat food. I shit you not. It sounds like the best relationship ever.
OH! sidebar... Chapter 26 "Dude, there's a hair in my taco!" Yep- that's what it is really titled. Anyway- probably my fave chapter. It includes her getting shwasted, going home with some boy, pissing in his bed, and then he invites her back over for dinner with the fam. Anyway- back to the important shit.
It took Farrah, from the sounds of it, roughly 3 months to realize that her period wasn't just late. She "assumed" she was pregnant, and attempted to talk to Derek about it- who was in total denial & told her "some girls don't get their period every month". It finally REALLY clicks that she's pregnant when she's at cheerleading camp, which i'm sure happens to roughly 8 girls a year in the Council Bluffs/Omaha area. Once she finds out she's pregnant (at the local PP) she flips shit on the nurse that did the pregnancy test & tells her that it's the clinic's fault because they are the ones that gave her the birth control & it apparently didn't work. She's taken it religiously... which is oddly responsible of her.. and something, somehow went wrong. And then the nurse asks the million dollar question............... "Have you recently taken antibiotics?" dum DUM DUM! YES! SHE HAS! She had tonsilitis!!! Crap! So the nurse lays out her options & Farrah says that she's got to go talk to her mom about signing a consent form for an abortion since she's only 17. We all know how that went as we were graced with Sophia's presence 7 months later. Best part.... Deborah is churchy apparently, because when Farrah asks her to sign the paper Deborah says "God tells us not to kill a living thing". SAYS THE WOMAN WHO WAS THEN ARRESTED FOR SWINGIN KNIVES AROUND.
OK! So Farrah's knocked up for sure now. She's been taking modeling/acting/self development (?) classes & that's about to go down the drain because who wants to hire a pregnant 17 year old???.... MTV THAT'S WHO! Her acting coach tells her about the casting call for 16 & Pregnant and Farrah and Michael help her make an audition reel. (Note: I WOULD LOVE! to see that shit. I wonder if they were all fucking crazy for that too. MTV! AIR THAT SHIT!) She denies to Derek that she's pregnant the entire time. He's running around getting high with his friends & ignoring her. Whatev'. Farrah graduates HS early, picks up some college courses & her parents help prep her for a baby by buying her things. And then Derek dies......... Great.
Farrah is in cahoots with MTV by now & there's a film crew on standby following her around for important things. Farrah assures them that she is not going to Derek's wake & tells her parents the same... then goes anyway with some friends. I am slightly upset that MTV didn't get to film this because from the sounds of it- it was a white trash holiday. Farrah shows up & Derek's sister is a cunt to her. Farrah views the body & then Derek's sister's friends make a human wall between Farrah & the casket.... I bet that was fucking AWESOME. Can you imagine? So Farrah decides just to leave. I can hardly believe that she did all this quietly at 7 months pregnant without some sort of sarcastic bitchy comment and an eyeroll followed by lots & lots of ugly crying. MTV lost some A-grade footage right there.
Alright so February rolls around & Farrah's water breaks in the middle of the night. Her mom tells her "yes, youre water broke, it has that smell" and Farrah thinks this is hilarious because what she is smelling reminds her of Derek's cum inside her. I shit you not. That's what she wrote in the book. She's ready to have a child fly out of her vagina & all she can do is giggle & think about her dead boyfriend blowing his load. She get to the hospital & pops the kid out with Deborah there to cut the cord. Farrah says she doesn't remember much about any of this. I would plead temporary memory loss too after I saw THAT episode. You all remember Farrah giving birth. She went to bed in full makeup that night & delivered without smudging her eyeliner. She also apologized to everyone in the room for "having to look at her crotch" (quote).
The book wraps up with Farrah moving to Floriday to go to college & Casey Anthony little Sophia. That's going to be the sequel to this one, MTV's keeping it under tight tight wraps though.
Overall- this book is a complete waste of time. BUT! I have time to waste if it's for a trainwreck like this. She is a complete idiot, we all know that, and MTV helped her publish a book. Great idea. I read the whole thing cover to cover *including pictures* in a day & a half. Read it. It's worth it. It'll make you realize how fantastic your own life is. Thanks Farrah :)
Anyway- on to the literary greatness inside the book....FUCKING MESS! There are like 102 chapters in this book. The book itself is like 204 pages. Who let this girl write a book and why didn't they teach her the basics. There are things that Farrah knows... like how to cook eggs, and how to tease her hair, and which Asian's know how to do the best manicure. Writing books is not included in the same list. So, each chapter is roughly 1 and a half pages long with catchy titles like "Calling all Pregnant Teens!" and "Not Like A Virgin". Chapter 1 ruins the whole stinkin' book. She tells us that she received a phone call that Derek, her baby daddy, died in a car accident. At this point you could stop reading the book because that's the only relatively important thing in the entire book. Instead, we read on and chapter 2 starts us all from the beginning. We learn that Derek was actually a friend's boyfriend first that was handed down to Farrah, who happened to be an all-star cheerleader when she was 16. I mention that she was a cheerleader because it was important to her. Important enough that she mentioned it approximately 2 times in each of the 102 chapters in this book. Farrah describes Derek as though he is the most perfect man on the face of the planet. I would argue this point because we've all seen pictures of the guy & his teeth are a little gappy for my liking. This didn't stop Farrah from sucking face with him all night at a party while she was wasted out of her mind... or "tipsy" as she repeatedly refers to it. Eventually the 2 star-crossed lovers actually become bf/gf which is good- because no one likes a Teen Mom that just makes out with random guys.
The next 98 chapters are filled with sex. I am not kidding. Apparently Farrah's parents were never fucking EVER around and she lived in an 18th century castle where no one could hear anything happening in the other chambers of the home. She's sneaking Derek into the house nightly and doing him. This is after their initial romantic encounter on Prom night in which Derek convinces Farrah to "try" to have sex with him so all of his friends don't make fun of him. She tries, she tells us in chapter 3 that his monster c*ck was too much for her so that was enough of that. So as time goes by and they get "pretty good" at sex (direct quote)... that's all they do. Luckily one of her friends has a pregnancy scare & that results in all of the crew heading to Planned Parenthood for the group rate as they all start on birth control at the same time. Clearly Deborah (Farrah's mom) wasn't too involved in things around this time. Farrah references Deborah "working from home" and going to school. The only other times that she's mentioned in the book is when she writes about how she tried to get her mother to "sign the permission slip for an abortion" and being arrested for domestic battery. Michael is NEVER in the picture unless he is driving someone somwhere or catching Farrah & Derek doing th deed.
Arrests. Giant portion of the book! At least three people are arrested in this lil story. Derek's mom rats him out for a gas and go & calls the police to arrest him at his graduation reception... What a jerk! (Butch never would have pulled that shit on Cate & Tyler.) Michael is arrested for punching Derek for fucking Farrah in the house. And then there's Deborah's moment of glory...
After an arguement about grocery shopping Farrah and her mom go into the house and get into a lil quarrel over the mail. Deborah throws a shirt at Sophia apparently? So Farrah goes & puts the baby in her cage and comes back and gets into a physical alteration with her mother. This happens-- I get that... But then Farrah goes upstairs & calls the police. Calls. The. Police. Shortly after, when the Council Bluffs PD shows up- Farrah comes downstairs to find Deborah with 2 (apparent) butcher knives & the cops have guns pulled & are screaming at her to "put the weapons down." I wish I could have been a fly on the wall because I can just see Deborah with her crazy frosted hair swinging knives at cops & Farrah coming down to find it all & trying to talk her back off the ledge with her monotone insults. "Mom. You're seriously crazy. Put the knives down. You are the reason we're all so fucked up. God. *eyeroll*" Deborah is eventually arrested & taken off to the clink while Farrah is left home to fend for herself.... and look after her own baby. Eventually DHS decides that Farrah & her mother & Sophia cant live in the same house- so Farrah HOPES that Deborah will move out. Of her own house. WTF is wrong with this girl? Needless to say Farrah gets the boot & has to live in a rental property that the fam owns... all the way across the street.
In the meantime, Farrah has spent the entire book telling us how she has sex with Derek, then they don't talk for 12-17 days, then they write notes to each other & end up getting back together. She blatently lied to the boy when he asked if she was pregnant with his baby. Repeatedly. But it's okay because "she hopes he would change and after she had the baby they could be a happy family". Her parents hate him, his parents hate her (and him for that matter), he drives a sweet Beretta or something & is both addicted to drugs and a racist. I am not joking about the racist accusation. Farrah actually published "You had sex with a n***er, I hate black people!" in the book as a direct quote from Derek. I thought that was pretty shitty... I mean- the dude's dead. Why make the black population hate him after he's dead. I didn't think we needed to drop the N-bomb, Farrah. But aside from sleeping with the black kid.... she is having sex with Derek everywhere... her bed, his bed, his moms bed, his shower, the hood of his car in a feild, in the hallway at a friends house. Basically all the two ever did together was have sex, and eat food. I shit you not. It sounds like the best relationship ever.
OH! sidebar... Chapter 26 "Dude, there's a hair in my taco!" Yep- that's what it is really titled. Anyway- probably my fave chapter. It includes her getting shwasted, going home with some boy, pissing in his bed, and then he invites her back over for dinner with the fam. Anyway- back to the important shit.
It took Farrah, from the sounds of it, roughly 3 months to realize that her period wasn't just late. She "assumed" she was pregnant, and attempted to talk to Derek about it- who was in total denial & told her "some girls don't get their period every month". It finally REALLY clicks that she's pregnant when she's at cheerleading camp, which i'm sure happens to roughly 8 girls a year in the Council Bluffs/Omaha area. Once she finds out she's pregnant (at the local PP) she flips shit on the nurse that did the pregnancy test & tells her that it's the clinic's fault because they are the ones that gave her the birth control & it apparently didn't work. She's taken it religiously... which is oddly responsible of her.. and something, somehow went wrong. And then the nurse asks the million dollar question............... "Have you recently taken antibiotics?" dum DUM DUM! YES! SHE HAS! She had tonsilitis!!! Crap! So the nurse lays out her options & Farrah says that she's got to go talk to her mom about signing a consent form for an abortion since she's only 17. We all know how that went as we were graced with Sophia's presence 7 months later. Best part.... Deborah is churchy apparently, because when Farrah asks her to sign the paper Deborah says "God tells us not to kill a living thing". SAYS THE WOMAN WHO WAS THEN ARRESTED FOR SWINGIN KNIVES AROUND.
OK! So Farrah's knocked up for sure now. She's been taking modeling/acting/self development (?) classes & that's about to go down the drain because who wants to hire a pregnant 17 year old???.... MTV THAT'S WHO! Her acting coach tells her about the casting call for 16 & Pregnant and Farrah and Michael help her make an audition reel. (Note: I WOULD LOVE! to see that shit. I wonder if they were all fucking crazy for that too. MTV! AIR THAT SHIT!) She denies to Derek that she's pregnant the entire time. He's running around getting high with his friends & ignoring her. Whatev'. Farrah graduates HS early, picks up some college courses & her parents help prep her for a baby by buying her things. And then Derek dies......... Great.
Farrah is in cahoots with MTV by now & there's a film crew on standby following her around for important things. Farrah assures them that she is not going to Derek's wake & tells her parents the same... then goes anyway with some friends. I am slightly upset that MTV didn't get to film this because from the sounds of it- it was a white trash holiday. Farrah shows up & Derek's sister is a cunt to her. Farrah views the body & then Derek's sister's friends make a human wall between Farrah & the casket.... I bet that was fucking AWESOME. Can you imagine? So Farrah decides just to leave. I can hardly believe that she did all this quietly at 7 months pregnant without some sort of sarcastic bitchy comment and an eyeroll followed by lots & lots of ugly crying. MTV lost some A-grade footage right there.
Alright so February rolls around & Farrah's water breaks in the middle of the night. Her mom tells her "yes, youre water broke, it has that smell" and Farrah thinks this is hilarious because what she is smelling reminds her of Derek's cum inside her. I shit you not. That's what she wrote in the book. She's ready to have a child fly out of her vagina & all she can do is giggle & think about her dead boyfriend blowing his load. She get to the hospital & pops the kid out with Deborah there to cut the cord. Farrah says she doesn't remember much about any of this. I would plead temporary memory loss too after I saw THAT episode. You all remember Farrah giving birth. She went to bed in full makeup that night & delivered without smudging her eyeliner. She also apologized to everyone in the room for "having to look at her crotch" (quote).
The book wraps up with Farrah moving to Floriday to go to college & Casey Anthony little Sophia. That's going to be the sequel to this one, MTV's keeping it under tight tight wraps though.
Overall- this book is a complete waste of time. BUT! I have time to waste if it's for a trainwreck like this. She is a complete idiot, we all know that, and MTV helped her publish a book. Great idea. I read the whole thing cover to cover *including pictures* in a day & a half. Read it. It's worth it. It'll make you realize how fantastic your own life is. Thanks Farrah :)
November 8, 2012
This book was bad, poorly edited, and down-right inappropriate, BUT what did you really expect? You are reading a book written by Farrah. It's kind of exactly what I wanted, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that.
Nothing in the book was that shocking to me, since "Teen Mom" is my guilty pleasure and I've followed Farrah's story since "16 and Pregnant." I definitely could have done without Farrah explaining the loss of her virginity by saying, "It hurt so much. I tried easing myself down more slowly, but that didn't work either. Derek was huge and this was my first time." Really? Was that necessary to include in your book, Farrah? Your daughter is going to read that one day. And your daughter is also going to read that when your water broke you "had to laugh" because all you could think was that the smell reminded you of having Derek's cum inside you. Come on, no pun intended, that was just disgusting and weird and not related to the story at all.
The entire book is written in Farrah's voice, and it all comes off as extremely immature. But you definitely get every detail of her life before Sophia, and a little bit of insight into her family life. I kind of wanted more to be included about her bat-shit mother, but very little was said about either of her parents. Lame.
If you are not someone who follows her MTV show, I really doubt this book will matter to you at all and it will more than likely make you throw up a little. If you are a fan of Farrah, then go ahead and read it. It's a quick read and so-bad-that-it's-good. Read it, like it, and then go throw it away because you definitely can't display this one on your bookcase.
Nothing in the book was that shocking to me, since "Teen Mom" is my guilty pleasure and I've followed Farrah's story since "16 and Pregnant." I definitely could have done without Farrah explaining the loss of her virginity by saying, "It hurt so much. I tried easing myself down more slowly, but that didn't work either. Derek was huge and this was my first time." Really? Was that necessary to include in your book, Farrah? Your daughter is going to read that one day. And your daughter is also going to read that when your water broke you "had to laugh" because all you could think was that the smell reminded you of having Derek's cum inside you. Come on, no pun intended, that was just disgusting and weird and not related to the story at all.
The entire book is written in Farrah's voice, and it all comes off as extremely immature. But you definitely get every detail of her life before Sophia, and a little bit of insight into her family life. I kind of wanted more to be included about her bat-shit mother, but very little was said about either of her parents. Lame.
If you are not someone who follows her MTV show, I really doubt this book will matter to you at all and it will more than likely make you throw up a little. If you are a fan of Farrah, then go ahead and read it. It's a quick read and so-bad-that-it's-good. Read it, like it, and then go throw it away because you definitely can't display this one on your bookcase.
August 26, 2016
I'm really embarrassed that I read this.
May 9, 2013
It took me longer than I care to admit to read this horribly edited and written book. I thought it would be different. not sure why I thought that, but it made my distaste for Farrah even bigger. And wouldn't it be neat if we could give negative stars because this was bad.
Every story has at least two sides. And it's really sad that Derek is not around to defend himself. All she does is bad mouth him, when I'm sure she was not blameless. That's not to say I think Derek was a saint in everything, because let's face it, he was a teenage boy. Most of them lie and cheat. But for him to have died not knowing 100% that Farrah was pregnant with his child is a selfish move on her part.
And I cannot stand people who are always playing the victim. Get over yourself. She says her mom does it and it annoys her, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
And I'm not surprised one bit that she made a porno, after reading this book. I also don't believe for a second that she didn't make that tape just to release it and make money. I'm surprised she hasn't done it sooner.
One thing that really caught my attention was the hand written note and how she misspelled restaurant. How are you going to open a restaurant if you can't even spell it?
Every story has at least two sides. And it's really sad that Derek is not around to defend himself. All she does is bad mouth him, when I'm sure she was not blameless. That's not to say I think Derek was a saint in everything, because let's face it, he was a teenage boy. Most of them lie and cheat. But for him to have died not knowing 100% that Farrah was pregnant with his child is a selfish move on her part.
And I cannot stand people who are always playing the victim. Get over yourself. She says her mom does it and it annoys her, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
And I'm not surprised one bit that she made a porno, after reading this book. I also don't believe for a second that she didn't make that tape just to release it and make money. I'm surprised she hasn't done it sooner.
One thing that really caught my attention was the hand written note and how she misspelled restaurant. How are you going to open a restaurant if you can't even spell it?
December 25, 2013
Don't judge me.
I've seen all the seasons of Teen Mom and Farrah might be my least favorite, therefore I must read this and laugh at her.
UPDATE:
Okay, I knew this was going to be bad, but nothing could have prepared me for how bad this really was. Just... wow. Farrah's "writing" was exactly the way she talks, which does not make for a pleasant reading experience.
I also can't believe how many typos there were in this book! Honestly though, her poor editor must have just passed out from exhaustion after changing what was probably every word in here, as evidenced by the end when Farrah scanned in a handwritten note she had written to Sophia. The grammatical and spelling errors in this note were so abundant it gave me a headache. Here are some examples of the words Farrah can't spell: "sence"(sense), "baby's" instead of babies, and the word restaurant - which is ironic, since she wants to open one.
I was hoping for some background info on her crazy family (what's up with her psycho mother, why does she call her dad Michael, etc.) and what it's like filming for MTV, but instead this entire book is about her "relationship" with Derek. The birth of Sophia doesn't even happen until maybe the last 30 pages, and includes the creepiest and most disgusting thing I've ever read in my entire life. I will put it in spoilers so as not to offend anyone: SERIOUSLY. I had to read that twice to make sure it really said what I thought it said. Stay classy, Farrah.
Farrah clearly romanticizes her relationship with Derek, but from what I can tell he was a total douchebag and they wouldn't have stayed together even if he hadn't died. Farrah spends the entire book either describing their sex life in great detail or completely trashing Derek - I hope his family never reads this!
Furthermore, I also hope Sophia never reads this, unless she wants to read all about the crazy sex her mom had, the drugs she did, the time she drank so much she peed the bed she was sharing with a random hookup, or the time she started her period on that same bed with that same guy a week later. Then again, Farrah took Sophia to a porn convention after she leaked her own porn tape, so clearly none of this would be a surprise.
Honestly, I feel so bad for that poor kid.
I've seen all the seasons of Teen Mom and Farrah might be my least favorite, therefore I must read this and laugh at her.
UPDATE:
Okay, I knew this was going to be bad, but nothing could have prepared me for how bad this really was. Just... wow. Farrah's "writing" was exactly the way she talks, which does not make for a pleasant reading experience.
I also can't believe how many typos there were in this book! Honestly though, her poor editor must have just passed out from exhaustion after changing what was probably every word in here, as evidenced by the end when Farrah scanned in a handwritten note she had written to Sophia. The grammatical and spelling errors in this note were so abundant it gave me a headache. Here are some examples of the words Farrah can't spell: "sence"(sense), "baby's" instead of babies, and the word restaurant - which is ironic, since she wants to open one.
I was hoping for some background info on her crazy family (what's up with her psycho mother, why does she call her dad Michael, etc.) and what it's like filming for MTV, but instead this entire book is about her "relationship" with Derek. The birth of Sophia doesn't even happen until maybe the last 30 pages, and includes the creepiest and most disgusting thing I've ever read in my entire life. I will put it in spoilers so as not to offend anyone: SERIOUSLY. I had to read that twice to make sure it really said what I thought it said. Stay classy, Farrah.
Farrah clearly romanticizes her relationship with Derek, but from what I can tell he was a total douchebag and they wouldn't have stayed together even if he hadn't died. Farrah spends the entire book either describing their sex life in great detail or completely trashing Derek - I hope his family never reads this!
Furthermore, I also hope Sophia never reads this, unless she wants to read all about the crazy sex her mom had, the drugs she did, the time she drank so much she peed the bed she was sharing with a random hookup, or the time she started her period on that same bed with that same guy a week later. Then again, Farrah took Sophia to a porn convention after she leaked her own porn tape, so clearly none of this would be a surprise.
Honestly, I feel so bad for that poor kid.
December 12, 2012
LMAO. I am picking this book to read because I watch Teen Mom and I can't stand this girl. She is so rude and nasty towards other people. I am curious though how she became such a rude bitch. What has happened to treat her parents like this.
The first few pages I found this.
Quote: "I always maintain class in front of other people"
How delusional is she???? Class. Dream on!
To be continued.
Update.
Okay I've finished it. it is a quick read. There were no answers to the questions I had about the treatment of her dad though.
To be fair, the book was not badly written. I do wonder why the need for this book? Is it because this is her healing process? Or is it to make Derek look like the bad guy and even more so his mum and sisters?
That was what I did not like. So much in her book pointed to Derek. Most of it was his fault I felt (well according to Farrah) or his family. Sorry but I feel so much for his parents. Derek's mum especially. She lost her son and now his ex fling is writing a book and writing nasty things about the way she treated her son.
What can she do? nothing. So sad.
Anyway. A quick read, enjoyed the photo's and an okay read if you followed Teen Mom.
The first few pages I found this.
Quote: "I always maintain class in front of other people"
How delusional is she???? Class. Dream on!
To be continued.
Update.
Okay I've finished it. it is a quick read. There were no answers to the questions I had about the treatment of her dad though.
To be fair, the book was not badly written. I do wonder why the need for this book? Is it because this is her healing process? Or is it to make Derek look like the bad guy and even more so his mum and sisters?
That was what I did not like. So much in her book pointed to Derek. Most of it was his fault I felt (well according to Farrah) or his family. Sorry but I feel so much for his parents. Derek's mum especially. She lost her son and now his ex fling is writing a book and writing nasty things about the way she treated her son.
What can she do? nothing. So sad.
Anyway. A quick read, enjoyed the photo's and an okay read if you followed Teen Mom.
November 9, 2012
I didn't think this book was nearly as terrible as others made it out to be. I could've done without some of the TMI moments that others had mentioned, and yes there were errors, but it wasn't that bad. It was definitely a quick read (about 3 hours for me, with some breaks included). I think she couldn't have been more open and honest than she was. She's had a rough life. Some of that is due to her decisions and others were just the cards she was dealt. It does sound like Derek was douchey, but he was a teenage boy, and despite his flaws it's sad how his life ended. She will always have a connection to him, because of Sophia. I'm sure most females went after some guy who was also "douchey" at one time or another. She was a teenager, that's what they do. Plus that's a confusing and trying time anyway. I am curious where her parents were during these years, but who am I to judge? I give props to Farrah, for putting her life on display via TV and this book. She sounds like she's growing up, but I don't believe she's quite as mature as she thinks she is. I do wish her the best of luck though.
August 19, 2012
Was hoping this book would further explain why Farrah is the way she is. Unfortunately, it told me what I already knew. Farrah is an immature, selfish, and a spoiled brat! I often found myself laughing at how ridiculous this book was. From her describing losing her virginity to feeling as though she was "stuck on a branch", to the water breaking incident that smelled like "Derek's cum inside me". Gross!! The book contained a lot of spelling and grammar errors. It made me wonder, was this book even edited?
August 26, 2012
I have to say I disagree with a lot of these reviews. I think Farrah deserves a little more credit. This book is not supposed to be some greats work or novel, it is a raw and tragic account of her most impressionable teenage years. She has wounds and scars that will never heal and after watching her on MTV and then reading this book I really understand her more. I now can grasp some understanding of why she is the way she is and I think that is what she set out to accomplish.
September 28, 2012
This book was a tear jerker and and eye openeer in so many ways it not only had me rooting even more for Farrah but also had me appreciating my mother as well ( She was a single mom as well.) AS I was reading the book I felt like I was right there with Farrah going through what she went through.
It really touched my heart to be able to get to know that the real Farrah that no one got to see from the MTV TEEN MOM show.
This story was beautiful and inspiring and truly touching.
It really touched my heart to be able to get to know that the real Farrah that no one got to see from the MTV TEEN MOM show.
This story was beautiful and inspiring and truly touching.
April 18, 2013
I went into this book knowing it was bad, but given her recent downward spiral I wanted to read it. I have to agree with most of the other reviewers that the writing style was really bad and the book seemed poorly edited. It almost seemed like the "chapters" were a bit unnecessary as well, considering they were three pages at most. I can understand if she wanted to go for an informal tone, but it was a little too informal. It was also a bit TMI when she described all the sex she was having with her child's father, Derek. Seriously, I didn't need to know any of it. It was also just really gross when she described the smell of her water breaking as smelling like "Derek's cum inside her". That is literally in the book. The book didn't endear me towards Farrah at all either, not that I've really liked her in the first place. She still has some growing up to do, despite her claims of independence. I will give it two stars though, if only for the fact that is difficult to put something so personal and intimate into writing and let others read it. Still though, it weirds me out that one day her daughter will probably read this one day and learn how her mother and father had sex.
March 10, 2013
The poorly-written, narcissistic ramblings of a pregnant teenager. Teaches a number of hilariously wrong, dangerous life lessons to the legion of young girls who will read it, but it's cardinal sin is being boring as hell. Reading about a teenager's life of real and manufactured drama in excruciating detail is, well, excruciating. Slightly interesting how the author presents themselves in the best possible light at all times and still comes off as a sociopathic bitch. Increases my quota of “books read in 2013 written by women” in the worst possible way. Not even sure why I read it, it's a prime example of why, if all my friends are making plans to jump off of a bridge together, I should probably abstain.
April 1, 2016
So...it's pretty bad. Not exactly a surprise there, but...well. It's pretty bad. The typos start in the second sentence, the end is choppy and rambling, but more than that it's completely lacking in self-awareness. I'm trying to separate book from author—I know very little about the latter that is not in the former—but it's difficult because there's no real 'now' voice, only the impression that Abraham thinks she's never at fault.
The first half of the book is full of this completely toxic, codependent relationship with Derek, her on-again off-again boyfriend. It's a complicated situation, because he died in a car accident when Abraham was seven months pregnant (this is right up front and not a spoiler; also right up front is that they were on the outs at the time and she hadn't told him the baby was his). As such, I cut her a certain amount of slack for beating the reader over the head with the theme of Derek being her one true love (since there's a common idea of not speaking ill of the dead and all)...except that she alternates between that and castigating him for being a generally shitty person.
Thinking I'm going to have to find something in a different vein for my next can't-sleep book.
The first half of the book is full of this completely toxic, codependent relationship with Derek, her on-again off-again boyfriend. It's a complicated situation, because he died in a car accident when Abraham was seven months pregnant (this is right up front and not a spoiler; also right up front is that they were on the outs at the time and she hadn't told him the baby was his). As such, I cut her a certain amount of slack for beating the reader over the head with the theme of Derek being her one true love (since there's a common idea of not speaking ill of the dead and all)...except that she alternates between that and castigating him for being a generally shitty person.
We were the hottest couple in school and all of his exes were jealous. I loved every moment of it.It seems like...one of those relationships that was never going to work out but also never actually going to be over, but the lack of self-awareness made it pretty cringe-worthy to read about. Add to that the casual, oblivious racism, and nope. Nopenopenope. Done now.
Maybe I was a bitch for leaving him, but he was a jerk and a liar for sneaking around and doing whatever he was doing behind my back.
When we got to the drugstore, he parked and said, "I'll wait out here."
I told him, "No. You're coming in with me and you're buying my things. You didn't pay for my dad's bail so you're going to buy me something instead."
So we both went in together and I made him pay for a bunch of cosmetics and toiletries. The total came to fifty-something dollars. Derek turned to me and made a face, like it was too expensive, but I said, "Well, bailing my dad out would have cost a lot more." He pulled out his wallet to pay and when he took out the money he turned away from me so I couldn't see how much money he had—so stupid.
Thinking I'm going to have to find something in a different vein for my next can't-sleep book.
January 15, 2014
I have to say this book was just what I expected from the "Queen" of Drama. I tried giving it the benefit of the doubt and not be so biased. It was exactly " Farrah" - Look at me- Pay attention to me- I'm going to ignore you, but you better not ignore me! One part of the book she seems to brag how she was determined to teach Derek how to treat her. Yet she is the one treating him just as horrible. Oh no a teenaged boy went out with his friends while she stayed home being grounded due to them getting caught having sex. She says "This is all your fault why I am grounded!" Really Farrah? You didn't partake in the act? Her explicit expression of her sex life and general nastiness is just fine in her eyes, but poor Derek better walk the line or she was going to make his life hell. The poor guy called repeatedly asking if she was pregnant she refused to tell him. Then has the audacity to say this "I walked right in front of the car he was sitting in and he ignored me!" "How can your pregnant ex girlfriend walk right in front of you and you ignore her?" Again! Really Farrah!? I can hope one day that somebody really puts her in her place for her self righteous entitlement that she thinks she deserves. And by the way, If you were so pretty and popular in High School why all the plastic surgery? You were perfect, remember? Ugh, I could go on and on. I realize this is more of me ranting about my dislike for her. I'm sure she loves reading these reviews because any publicity is good publicity.
May 8, 2013
Since Farrah's "sex tape" (totally only meant for her own consumption, despite featuring a well-known male pornstar who she hired) has recently been released to the public, I thought I'd finally delve into this charming memoir. Teen Mom is one of my ultimate guilty pleasures and Farrah sunk deeper and deeper into being a rude, spoiled, ill-adjusted brat as it went on. Luckily this book goes to no lengths to disprove that! It is very immaturely written and spattered with typos, but I wasn't expecting much. Coming complete with possibly the world's worst title, it also features awkward sex scenes and an admittance of doing cocaine at the age of around 17.
There isn't really any groundbreaking new information here; it would've been great for her to shed some light on exactly why her family is so dysfunctional, but she has managed to delude herself into thinking she is a wonderful ideal mother so what can you do. A very light, speedily-finished read with insights into her hip, cool years as a wild sexual cheerleader, as well as her mother's refusal to sign the abortion papers because God wouldn't want her to, but this certainly isn't a patch on watching the full-colour delicious trainwreck that is the actual show.
There isn't really any groundbreaking new information here; it would've been great for her to shed some light on exactly why her family is so dysfunctional, but she has managed to delude herself into thinking she is a wonderful ideal mother so what can you do. A very light, speedily-finished read with insights into her hip, cool years as a wild sexual cheerleader, as well as her mother's refusal to sign the abortion papers because God wouldn't want her to, but this certainly isn't a patch on watching the full-colour delicious trainwreck that is the actual show.
August 25, 2012
This book was horrible. I read it out of pure curiosity. The "chapters" were so short. There was no need for that many chapters that were two pages long. Mostly the book was about her relationship with Sophia's father. I feel kind of bad for Farrah because she seemed like she really did have strong feelings for Derek & it does suck that he died & they weren't on good terms. But Derek didn't seem like he was the greatest boyfriend either. Obviously her family issues were touched on. I do think her parents love her and especially love Sophia & Farrah is a little brat when it comes to them. This book I think was more so written for Derek's family honestly so they can see what they went through as a couple. I don't think this book was intended for Sophia due to every little thing Farrah revealed. I think Farrah should stick to reality TV.
June 26, 2021
So let me start off by saying… I’m not a Farrah fan. Her episode was the first I ever saw of 16 and Pregnant, and I’ve watched every franchise episode since. From the beginning, I thought Farrah was a snotty, spoiled brat, and I still think that after reading her book! But, this book also gave me more of an understanding of her upbringing and her relationship with Derek. So, I’m not entirely surprised that she has trouble getting along with her family members or anyone she comes in contact with after reading about her childhood and teen years. I’m glad I got to hear her back story and history with Derek. The book did keep my interest all the way through and answered a lot of my questions from 16 and Pregnant and the earlier episodes of Teen Mom. I would recommend this book for fans of the shows, even if you’re not a Farrah fan.
August 23, 2012
This book is almost as bad as Farrah's new songs and music video. It would take a lot to top those, so my expectations were pretty low going in, but I love 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom for the train wreck value, so I borrowed it from a friend when she finished reading it.
It explains a LOT about Farrah's life on the show. I still think she's EXTREMELY immature and self-centered, but the back story about how rocky her parent's marriage is makes her neediness with guys make a lot more sense. I think this book was very revealing, but not in the way that Farrah intended it to be. I know she was shooting for "Look at how mature and independent I am! I'm a great mom even though Sophia's dad died!" What she actually gets is "My mom & step-dad are totally dysfunctional, so I latched onto the first boy that paid me some attention. We had sex, then played silly break-up/make-up games because I was trying to CHANGE him. I lied to everyone, got knocked up, lied to everyone some more and he died because, SURPRISE! you can't make someone change for you."
I know Farrah is doing really well as far as school goes, but I can't help but feel that the rest of her life is lived in fantasy land. She still has a LOT of growing up to do and I think, still needs a serious reality check.
There is also a serious ewww factor here. She gives way too many details of her sex life with Derek including this particularly nasty gem: . That was disgusting and made me throw up in my mouth a little. Her editor SERIOUSLY needed to cut that sentence out of the book.
It explains a LOT about Farrah's life on the show. I still think she's EXTREMELY immature and self-centered, but the back story about how rocky her parent's marriage is makes her neediness with guys make a lot more sense. I think this book was very revealing, but not in the way that Farrah intended it to be. I know she was shooting for "Look at how mature and independent I am! I'm a great mom even though Sophia's dad died!" What she actually gets is "My mom & step-dad are totally dysfunctional, so I latched onto the first boy that paid me some attention. We had sex, then played silly break-up/make-up games because I was trying to CHANGE him. I lied to everyone, got knocked up, lied to everyone some more and he died because, SURPRISE! you can't make someone change for you."
I know Farrah is doing really well as far as school goes, but I can't help but feel that the rest of her life is lived in fantasy land. She still has a LOT of growing up to do and I think, still needs a serious reality check.
There is also a serious ewww factor here. She gives way too many details of her sex life with Derek including this particularly nasty gem: . That was disgusting and made me throw up in my mouth a little. Her editor SERIOUSLY needed to cut that sentence out of the book.
February 3, 2013
I guess I should actually rate this book as five stars, because it gave me exactly what I expected, though I don't think I can bring myself to do that!
If you are looking for a good book to read and do not know anything about the show Teen Mom, run past this book as fast as you can and read ANYTHING else. If you'd like to know more about Farrah, her family, and her pre-pregnancy life. . . read on!
The degree to which Farrah romanticizes her relationship with her baby's father (if it could even be called a relationship. . .) is really quite astounding and frightening. Unlike Debra, I would never tell a grieving person to their face, "Well, maybe it's for the best." . . but honestly, there is no possible way that the happily-ever-after that Farrah apparently still envisions could have ever happened for her. The fact that she still moons over this, even as she's recounting Derek's ills and sins for us, is disconcerting.
The book is not well-written, and my copy had many typos, but upon reading the scanned-in, handwritten letter from Farrah to Sophia as a first-birthday memento, I really think that the copyeditor just didn't have enough time to scour and essentially rewrite the whole thing.
You know what I wish? I wish Amber would write a book. . .
If you are looking for a good book to read and do not know anything about the show Teen Mom, run past this book as fast as you can and read ANYTHING else. If you'd like to know more about Farrah, her family, and her pre-pregnancy life. . . read on!
The degree to which Farrah romanticizes her relationship with her baby's father (if it could even be called a relationship. . .) is really quite astounding and frightening. Unlike Debra, I would never tell a grieving person to their face, "Well, maybe it's for the best." . . but honestly, there is no possible way that the happily-ever-after that Farrah apparently still envisions could have ever happened for her. The fact that she still moons over this, even as she's recounting Derek's ills and sins for us, is disconcerting.
The book is not well-written, and my copy had many typos, but upon reading the scanned-in, handwritten letter from Farrah to Sophia as a first-birthday memento, I really think that the copyeditor just didn't have enough time to scour and essentially rewrite the whole thing.
You know what I wish? I wish Amber would write a book. . .
December 15, 2012
If you have ever watched 16 &Pregnant or Teen Mom, you already know what kind of person Farrah is. Her book really doesn't do her any good. She comes across even more narcissistic and self-serving.
In high school a bunch of my friends and I started making blogs. We'd write about boys we like, the trouble we got into, shopping sprees at Abercrombie, etc. Farrah's book read like one of these high school blogs. The whole thing felt very conversational with an occasional insightful comment thrown in.
I can relate to Farrah in so many ways. I was also a high school cheerleader, leading a charmed life with my handsome (but damaged) boyfriend when an accidental pregnancy caused my whole world to come crashing down. We've just gone about our two circumstances in entirely different ways. So on the one hand where I want to give her a hug and tell her she's going to be okay, I also very much want to slap her.
If I only ever read this book, I think she expressed gratitude towards her parents. I also watch her show and know how very little gratitude, let alone tolerance her parents are shown.
In high school a bunch of my friends and I started making blogs. We'd write about boys we like, the trouble we got into, shopping sprees at Abercrombie, etc. Farrah's book read like one of these high school blogs. The whole thing felt very conversational with an occasional insightful comment thrown in.
I can relate to Farrah in so many ways. I was also a high school cheerleader, leading a charmed life with my handsome (but damaged) boyfriend when an accidental pregnancy caused my whole world to come crashing down. We've just gone about our two circumstances in entirely different ways. So on the one hand where I want to give her a hug and tell her she's going to be okay, I also very much want to slap her.
If I only ever read this book, I think she expressed gratitude towards her parents. I also watch her show and know how very little gratitude, let alone tolerance her parents are shown.
September 18, 2012
I never really was a big fan of Farrah on Teen Mom to begin with. I always found her very stuck up and bitchy towards basically everyone, including her parents. It didn't make sense to how someone could act the way she did on tv. I was shocked to find out Derek had died, and kind of cut her some slack after finding that out. Now that I've read this book, everything I've seen on tv of her makes sense. I was kind of grossed out by this book. It went into way too much detail about her sex life. It also sounds like Derek was kind of a douche bag through most of this story. I was really hoping this book would be good, but I was incredibly disappointed. I don't think this book should have been published, because I agree with most people's reviews when they say an elementary school kid could have written this. While it was a semi okay story that filled in the blanks of everyone's curiosity about her, it shouldn't have been published.
December 8, 2017
Read my full review at: https://yalibrarianlovesbooks.wordpre...
I always watch Teen Mom, and Farrah is my favorite! I was so excited when I heard that she was writing a book. It was a very good book and a quick read! It really allowed the reader to see what makes her tick. A powerful story!!! This book made me like her even more, especially after seeing all of the struggles that she went through. The only thing that I can say bad about this book was that there were some misspelled words, missing words, and run on sentences. Not the best grammar...but still a GREAT book! I think that teens will like it. ( Some graphic content/language!!)
I always watch Teen Mom, and Farrah is my favorite! I was so excited when I heard that she was writing a book. It was a very good book and a quick read! It really allowed the reader to see what makes her tick. A powerful story!!! This book made me like her even more, especially after seeing all of the struggles that she went through. The only thing that I can say bad about this book was that there were some misspelled words, missing words, and run on sentences. Not the best grammar...but still a GREAT book! I think that teens will like it. ( Some graphic content/language!!)
August 19, 2012
This book was embarrassing. I feel bad that Farrah, of 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, felt that this was an appropriate book to write or anything that should have ever been published.
It's written as if someone in grade school could have written it, with short sentences and 1 1/2 page chapters. Nearly every chapter is filled with unnecessary details of her and her ex-boyfriend's 17-year-old sexual encounters. It wasn't nearly as telling of WHY she was a teen mom or how the situation changed her or anything, just of having sex.
It's written as if someone in grade school could have written it, with short sentences and 1 1/2 page chapters. Nearly every chapter is filled with unnecessary details of her and her ex-boyfriend's 17-year-old sexual encounters. It wasn't nearly as telling of WHY she was a teen mom or how the situation changed her or anything, just of having sex.
September 13, 2012
I bought this book for pure entertainment value. I watch Teen Mom, I will admit. I like Farrah in a way because I totally see where she comes from. Her mom IS crazy. That said, she really should have hired an editor for this book. If she had one, I sure couldn't tell. There were so many grammatical mistakes that I could hardly read through them... but after finishing, the book was just "okay". It was good to learn more about her relationship (or lack-thereof) with Derek, and I liked seeing her own perspective versus MTV's, but the writing was just AWFUL.
October 5, 2012
One of the worst "memoirs" I've read. Who copy-edited this? A 12 year old? I understand capitalizing on "fame", but how embarrassing for a publisher to publish a) such a shallow and poorly written "book", and b) publish it seemingly unedited, filled with spelling & grammar mistakes.
Her "struggles" were those of a 16 year old - everything that happened to her could have been prevented had she not be raised to be such a spoiled brat.
Her "struggles" were those of a 16 year old - everything that happened to her could have been prevented had she not be raised to be such a spoiled brat.
October 13, 2014
I was really apprehensive about reading this book, but after the first couple of pages as much as I hate to admit it I was hooked. I read it for one reason, to get insight into her pregnancy. Her life and my sister's pregnancy experience were very similar. The issues with Derrek are similar to my sister's baby's father. I was pleasantly surprised about how she dealt with certain situations the arose, and how she chose to stay positive throughout her struggles. Overall a good read.
October 11, 2014
Still feel she is a spoiled brat and self centered but it was nice to get to know her without the TV show. The book brought out a lot that was not on television.
May 8, 2016
This book was wonderfully horrible. My instinct is to give it 1 star because it was so atrocious, but that's exactly what I wanted it to be. It was 5 stars worth of idiocy. So I'll compromise at 3.
August 11, 2017
What a wild ride. Picked this up to have a book to laugh at before I head back to law school and the books begin laughing at me again.
First things first, this book is winning no awards. Farrah clearly did not have an editor. Maybe when MTV tried to edit, Farrah started screeching at them to mind their own business. This "book" is littered with typos, misused words, and even half finished sentences. Like they will literally just start and have no end. They hang there, in midair, waiting for Farrah to put them out of their misery.
75% of the book is about Farrah partying in high school, especially focusing on Derek. Their relationship is garbage, but she's young and I got the vibe she had never had anyone else she trusted. There's no other real excuse as to why she keeps hoping he'll magically pop back into a faithful, sober nice guy (who doesn't have frosted tips). She even admits at the end that she thinks she only stayed with him because she had seen the same cycle of fighting and getting back together in her parents--but this realization was fleeting because she immediately turned around and talked more about how he was her true love. Anyway.
There was a lot of make fun of in this book. Farrah finds a hair in her taco after she pees in a guy's bed and his family invites her over for dinner to enjoy hairy tacos. Farrah shrieks at a planned parenthood nurse that it was HER fault Farrah was pregnant. Farrah runs away from Derek thinking "he flirted with /ugly girls./" (Side note: remember in the show when Farrah tells Simon that waiting years to get engaged is for ugly girls? This is apparently something she thinks about a lot. Hairy tacos? That's for ugly girls, babe.)
However, it mostly made me sad. Farrah seems like a very sad and lonely person. Her ability to put her head down and keep on trucking after her child's father has died, she has been thrust into the public eye, and she has become a teen mother--all with a pretty manipulative and insane knife wielding family--is really admirable. She talks about killing herself at least twice, something we never saw on tv. She talks about how she partied after Sophia's birth to deal with her depression and only stopped when she did coke one night and realized she was slipping too far. There's one moment where she is terrified Sophia is going to die--just like her dad. That moment really showed how scared and anxious Farrah is about losing someone else in her life. She seemed to blame herself for Derek's death because she wasn't there for him. She can't talk to her family about anything because they're too busy blaming her and waving knives around. All in all, Farrah's story is pretty sad, and I'm glad she got out of her house and distanced herself from her family and the memories of high school.
Before I end this review, I just want to point out that not only did crazy Debs try to attack the police with some butcher knives, MICHAEL WAS ARRESTED FOR IT TOO. What is with these people???
First things first, this book is winning no awards. Farrah clearly did not have an editor. Maybe when MTV tried to edit, Farrah started screeching at them to mind their own business. This "book" is littered with typos, misused words, and even half finished sentences. Like they will literally just start and have no end. They hang there, in midair, waiting for Farrah to put them out of their misery.
75% of the book is about Farrah partying in high school, especially focusing on Derek. Their relationship is garbage, but she's young and I got the vibe she had never had anyone else she trusted. There's no other real excuse as to why she keeps hoping he'll magically pop back into a faithful, sober nice guy (who doesn't have frosted tips). She even admits at the end that she thinks she only stayed with him because she had seen the same cycle of fighting and getting back together in her parents--but this realization was fleeting because she immediately turned around and talked more about how he was her true love. Anyway.
There was a lot of make fun of in this book. Farrah finds a hair in her taco after she pees in a guy's bed and his family invites her over for dinner to enjoy hairy tacos. Farrah shrieks at a planned parenthood nurse that it was HER fault Farrah was pregnant. Farrah runs away from Derek thinking "he flirted with /ugly girls./" (Side note: remember in the show when Farrah tells Simon that waiting years to get engaged is for ugly girls? This is apparently something she thinks about a lot. Hairy tacos? That's for ugly girls, babe.)
However, it mostly made me sad. Farrah seems like a very sad and lonely person. Her ability to put her head down and keep on trucking after her child's father has died, she has been thrust into the public eye, and she has become a teen mother--all with a pretty manipulative and insane knife wielding family--is really admirable. She talks about killing herself at least twice, something we never saw on tv. She talks about how she partied after Sophia's birth to deal with her depression and only stopped when she did coke one night and realized she was slipping too far. There's one moment where she is terrified Sophia is going to die--just like her dad. That moment really showed how scared and anxious Farrah is about losing someone else in her life. She seemed to blame herself for Derek's death because she wasn't there for him. She can't talk to her family about anything because they're too busy blaming her and waving knives around. All in all, Farrah's story is pretty sad, and I'm glad she got out of her house and distanced herself from her family and the memories of high school.
Before I end this review, I just want to point out that not only did crazy Debs try to attack the police with some butcher knives, MICHAEL WAS ARRESTED FOR IT TOO. What is with these people???
August 14, 2025
If you're looking for something that will explain or give backstory as to why Farrah interacts with the world the way she does or to learn more about her life leading up to Sixteen and Pregnant this really isn't it. If you're looking for a story that's about her and Derek's relationship then this is the one. Since this is her story written from her perspective I don't want to be harsh because who am I to say what did or didn't happen or what is or isn't true because I wasn't there. I just wish there could have been a bit more about her life and experiences in terms of her relationships with her parents and how she grew up with them and more about her time raising her daughter.
The wording was definitely repetitive wasn't a literary masterpiece but kudos to her for being willing to write something like this and putting it out for other people to read and judge along side with everything that's on tv. We all know who Farrah is as portrayed in the media but I was hoping for something different in this book, which may have been silly on my part but it was nice to at least have the chance to read this, even if it did seem kind of surface level.
The wording was definitely repetitive wasn't a literary masterpiece but kudos to her for being willing to write something like this and putting it out for other people to read and judge along side with everything that's on tv. We all know who Farrah is as portrayed in the media but I was hoping for something different in this book, which may have been silly on my part but it was nice to at least have the chance to read this, even if it did seem kind of surface level.
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