Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life

by Debbie Ford

Could the end of your marriage be the first step toward reclaiming your personal power and joyfully living the life of your dreams? If the answer is yes, this book is for you. Divorce rocks the very foundation of our beings, leaving us feeling lonely, flawed, enraged, undesirable, hopeless, and empty. In Spiritual Divorce , New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford reveals how this devastation can be transformed into a profoundly enlightening experience. This empowering guide shows how the collapse of a marriage is, at root, a spiritual wake-up call, an opportunity to liberate ourselves and reclaim our lives. The end of a relationship—no matter who ends it—is a damaging moment. Ford offers a clear program for turning ruin into renewal.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Divorce, Relationships, Spirituality, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 9, 2001

About the author

Debbie Ford was an American author of self-help books. Her first book, "The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers", spawned eight more books in the genre and dealt with confronting one's "dark side" rather than ignoring it. Ford also hosted television and radio shows related to her books.

She passed away due to complications from cancer in 2013.

Reviews

[Tiare · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a VERY long time to get through this book, because there are times I just didn't WANT to read positive psychology stuff about how to become a better person after a divorce. But, there will be two things I will always be grateful for that happened to me this year. That I found this book at the beginning stages of filing for divorce AS WELL as that I went through Impact Training during the process of my divorce as well. If you don't want to feel like a victim of your life circumstances and STILL believe in a God or some form of spirituality, I highly recommend reading this book and going through the Healing Action Steps at the end of each chapter. "Divorce becomes a holy moment when you choose to use it as a catalyst for having an extraordinary life." I've been living and breathing this statement from the moment I read it on page 9. I have a feeling I'll read this book over and over again. I could open to any page at any moment and find truth.

[Sonia T · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know why people criticize this book for not being a book about 'saving a marriage'. The book is titled 'Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life'. Hence, it is for people that have made the decision to head that way, or have already, and most importantly, are looking for ways to heal and move on. For those people, this book is amazing. The enlightenment I received helped heal me better than anything else I have read, and courses I have taken. It has helped me forgive, let go, move on, and set myself up for, and looking forward, to an extraordinary life. (and yes, with a future partner) Which is exactly what you should want out of this book and life.

[Sarbook · Rating 5 out of 5]

دبی فورد بر این باور است که درد راهنمایی است که فرصت اکتشاف درونمان را در اختیار ما قرار می‌دهد و می‌تواند بزرگ‌ترین آموزگار ما باشد. درد ندایی است که از درون ما برمی‌خیزد و ما را به توجه به درون فرامی‌خواند. دبی فورد که خود تجربه‌ی جدایی را داشته است و با این درد و رنج آشناست در این کتاب به ما می‌گوید که چگونه درد جدایی می‌تواند تبدیل به یک تجربه‌ی معنوی مفید شود. او معتقد است این درد می‌تواند درمانی برای زخم‌های درونی، رشد و پیشروی در عشق باشد.
http://sarbook.com/product/340888

[AmirFarhad · Rating 4 out of 5]

"ما انسانها موجوداتی الهی هستیم که عاشق عشق ورزیدنیم و وقتی خود را از انرژی عشق محروم می کنیم، روحمان از گرسنگی می میرد. بخشش نهایت شجاعت است؛ چراکه با آن دیوارهایی را می شکنیم که روزی گمان می کردیم از ما محافظت می کنند؛ اما درحقیقت هیچ حفاظی مطمئن تر از عشق و همدلی برای همه انسان ها و کل بشریت نیست."

[Aaron · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read quite a bit of this and all I can say is that it's not anything I would recommend to anyone who has a sincere desire to save their marriage along with the desire of saving their children from the extreme agony of divorce. For those who haven't been through a divorce as a child it is impossible to truly understand the lifetime of pain and suffering is can cause. This book is typical of today's "it's all about me" mentality. It feels as if it was written to cater to those who are looking for a guilt-free pass to divorce their spouse. Divorce is typically not only selfish but is also extremely harmful to the family which is falling apart at the seams in Western society today. That's not to say that divorce isn't warranted in certain circumstances. In cases of physical abuse, many forms of mental abuse (when the abuser is unwilling to get the necessary help he or she needs to stop), drug abuse, incest, etc. divorce is unfortunately often necessary. That being said, unconditional love and some good therapy (both individual and couples) go along way when two people want to make a marriage work. And don't just do it for the children. Do it for yourself and for the person that you married and vowed to be with. You'll be extremely glad you did in the end! :-)

[GoldmanCafe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not able to read this book right away after the abrupt ending of a ten-year relationship. But, after about three months, I flew through it. It's a great source of guidance and deeper understanding. My counselor recommended this book at our first session, and I am so grateful. A wonderful book. I look forward to reading Ford's other books.

[Johnna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was helpful because it places no blame. People part and go their separate ways and it can be devastating especially when the relationship has been very long term and children are involved. The author helps the reader go through the process in a very positive way.

[Elizabeth Welch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book by Debbie Ford who recently died of cancer. Recommended by a friend for anyone going through an end of relationship, not just divorce. Really helped me with all relationships, not just romantic-read mostly on long plane ride which always seem to inspire cathartic thinking!

[ArEzO.... Es · Rating 3 out of 5]

با خواندن این کتاب می توان تا حدودی گستن را تحمل کرد
گستن عزیزی که مرگ اورا ربوده
یاد می دهد که گستن مانند وصال بخشی طبیعی از روند زندگی ست

[Dana Panait · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the gratest book on relationships I ever read. The teachings you get from this book would apply to any kind of "special relation" not only a marriage relation. Loved it!

[Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

First, if you are interested in saving your marriage, this book is not for you. There are plenty of books available for improving or saving a marriage. Find and read one of those. However, if you are or are getting divorced (or ending a long-term relationship of any kind), then this book can help you move past the pain and guilt you may be feeling, regardless of whether you were the one leaving or the one left.

The author's perspective is that we should all learn to listen for the lessons we are trying to tell ourselves based on the situations we find ourselves in. What can I learn from the pain and sorrow involved in my divorce? And how can I use that pain and sorrow to learn and grow into the person God created me to be?

Unfortunately, despite how prevalent divorce is in western culture, there is still a lot of guilt and shame involved on both sides. This books shows that we can leave those stunting feelings behind and grow through this difficult time.

While one reviewer I read says this book is a free pass to leave your marriage, I completely disagree. This book is for those who are already in the midst of a painful or difficult breakup. It is a guide for how you can use the experience of divorce, that you never planned and didn't want, to make a better life for you and the others in your life, perhaps even your ex-spouse.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for anyone divorced, going through a divorce or even considering a divorce.

[drowningmermaid · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hey, so, if you guys were wondering about me, I'm not homeless. Actually, Michael has offered to split his savings which would leave me with enough for a start anyway. Which is good of him.
I've been reading a lot of marriage books lately. And divorce books. I gave this one to a friend because it was the only divorce book I'd read any part of at a time, and I'm afraid, having nearly finished it now-- in retrospect, it's actually kind of shit. It has a weird victim-blamey feel to it. New Age blather about how you call in the disasters in your own life. It really doesn't apply very well to situations of abuse or cruelty. Is it possible that you 'called this mess into your life'? Sure it is. Is it in any way appropriate to wax eloquent on this for forty pages of repetition to someone grieving abandonment or relationship-turned-toxic? No, no it is not. There is simply no way to avoid sounding like a pompous, patronizing prat.
Sorry, friend, I hadn't actually read that far when I gave it away. I found "Crazy Time" by Abigail Trafford and "Conscious UnCoupling" by Katherine Woodward Thomas to be a lot better.

[Julie Glynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is helpful in moving beyond the pain into a new life after divorce. The perspective is very "New Age" referring to the Universe as a being, and I disagree with the concept that everything in life is perfect and as it should be. Human beings are flawed and as such make mistakes for which there are negative consequences. God can take any situation and use it to benefit us; but life will not be perfect here on Earth. I loved the exercises of New Interpretations and Wedding Gifts. These two were of great value to me. Overall, very helpful and worthwhile book.

[Sheri Arceneaux · Rating 3 out of 5]

A colleague recommended this book to me- suggesting it would be a good resource to help identify key things in my situation. This book helped me with more than just the relationship with my spouse but others as well. It was a renewal for me and allowed me to continue to identify my ownership, responsibility and behaviors to contributed to the state if affairs. Learning to return to my spiritual self I have a new perspective as we embark into the journey of counseling.

[Jeannie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well whatever...guess we all see divorce differently. I didn't get anything out of this book that I didn't already know and being lectured on how I should feel is not something I welcome. I see the author saw an....opportunity..wrote a book and the sad and pathetic ones bought it and I made some money Yep...that's this book!

[ZaRi]

هربار دریک رابطه شکست می خوریم ، افسرده و خشمگین شده و سخنانی مانند:
" دیگر نمی توانم به کسی اعتماد کنم! "
" هرگز اجازه نمی دهم کسی اینکار را دوباره با من انجام دهد! "
را بارها از ذهن می گذرانیم..
ولی؛ وجه بدتر داستان این است که چون ما ، برای شروع ارتباط های جدید، به خودمان فرصت رسیدگی و التیام دردهای درونیمان را نمی دهیم، این شکست ها را دوباره و دوباره تجربه خواهیم کرد...

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life and gave me a new perspective for life after divorce. It's not the end of the world; in fact, it's a catalyst to become all I have ever imagined and more.

[Azadeh Moazezi · Rating 5 out of 5]

واقعا به من کمک کرد،به نظرم نمیشه فقط به طلاق ربطش داد توی خیلی جنبه های دیگه هم مفیده

[Ni · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never get enough of this book.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book about how to deal with divorce. Think you have a tough divorce? Read this book for stories that are truly gut-wrenching and inspiring at the same time.

I've been going through the divorce process for over a year and needed some inspiration. This book really helped. The book also has exercises that help you heal from your divorce.

Many people think that divorce is the other person's fault. This is the wrong frame of mind according to Debbie. If you reframe your mind, then you can free yourself. She provides guidance on how to do that.

I recommend this book and look forward to reading Debbie's other books.

[Donna Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

It’s amazing how some people think marriage is so disposable. Perhaps before you throw away 30 years of ones life, one should try to reconcile differences. Otherwise you’re destined to make the same mistakes over and over no matter what kind of crap they are trying to sell you. This is another book by a “new age guru” and her flunkies whose hands are out taking your money while they tell you what you want to hear.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely life-changing book! I wish Debbie had lived long enough to also repackage and rebrand it as a book to repair any relationship. A relationship with a sibling, a parent, a coworker, a lover.

I have read and done dark side of the light chasers with my son. I got a lot out of it but it wasn’t until I did this book that my life completely transformed. I can honestly say I will never be the same

[Pamela Thompson · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I agree with the premise that divorce can lead to something better, this book’s ideas on how to get there did not resonate with me. Seeing my ex-spouse as a mirror just makes no sense to me at all. I read this book with a totally open mind but did not find it helpful . It just seems to me to be a bunch of psycho-babble. I’m better off just moving on in my own way. From what I read, my guess is that the author would claim that I have some deep repressed issues, but I disagree.

[Jacqueline Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book!!! 👏
Debbie really has helped guide me through one of the most difficult things in my life. The practices given and the insight is just phenomenal. She really helps to turn that victim mentality around. She shines light on the idea that every partner is in your life for a reason but not always forever and that is ok.
Highly recommend. Will definitely read other books by her!

[Sasacy Freddy · Rating 3 out of 5]

[priestjaja7@mail.com] hello everyone .in love and marriage there comes a time when i almost give up heading for divorce because of infidelity and infertility problems until i met priest jaja who solve my problems just in seven days and get my lover back to me, ever since my partner i had two kids.any one going through similar problem i mentioned can connect to him with the up info.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't say enough good things about this book!!!

[Ms. Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so embarrassed by this book that I kept a cover over it as I read it. That being said, when my partner (and the person I thought was the love of my life) left me-two months after finding out that my mother had stage 4 cancer-I experienced a deep deep grief and this book helped. I was not a fan of her writing style, but I found the homework at the end of each chapter immensely helpful. Breakups and divorces are brutal. I really appreciated that she offered a different perspective: that if you work really hard it, you could turn this horrible thing into the impetus for a better life. I have not found or heard of any other book out there that is offering this perspective, despite how common divorce is our society.

[Jill Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book - incredibly helpful for anyone who's gone through the pain of divorce, and the later chapters are helpful for anyone who's been through any sort of trauma. I'll be giving this book as a gift for my friends who are going through this difficult process, and even thinking of starting a support group based on its principles. Bravo!

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to give this 3.5 stars but I don't know if that would be accurate either. I read this book in two parts...I started this 7 months ago and then I put it down and I just finished it.

It's helpful. I don't think I'm as enlightened as Debbie was when she wrote this...it'll take me some time to come to terms to divorce gracefully.

Thank You Debbie. Godspeed