L'ex

by Laura Zigman

Elise meets Donald on a flight to Washington, D.C., where he teaches and she edits self-help books. He is dreamy: 6'6" with unflinching green eyes and a proclivity for speaking frankly. Incredibly, they fall in love, get engaged, and start discussing wedding invitations.

And then Elise meets her--Adrienne--Donald's stunning, leggy ex-fianc�e. Adrienne is newly single and planning a move to D.C. Cleavage-baring, half-French, and with a degree from Yale, she seduces men with one flick of her hair. Worst of all, she and Donald have remained "good friends" since they broke up. Convinced that Adrienne is out to win Donald back, Elise begins stalking both of them obsessively . . . and starts adding up clues to what looks like a brazen affair.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Romance, Contemporary, Relationships, Womens Fiction, Adult Fiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published April 23, 2002

About the author

Laura Zigman is the author of five novels, including Separation Anxiety (which was optioned by Julianne Nicholson and the production company Wiip (Mare of Easttown) for a limited television series); Animal Husbandry (which was made into the movie Someone Like You, starring Hugh Jackman and Ashley Judd), Dating Big Bird, Her, and Piece of Work. She has ghostwritten/collaborated on several works of non-fiction, including Eddie Izzard's New York Times bestseller, Believe Me; been a contributor to the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Huffington Post; produced a popular online series of animated videos called Annoying Conversations; and was the recipient of a Yaddo residency. Her sixth novel, Small World, will be published in January 2023. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Foteini Fp · Rating 2 out of 5]

Τι να σου κάνω βρε Her που διαβάστηκες ταυτόχρονα με Μπρυκνέρ και καταποντίστηκες; Που και χωρίς Μπρυκνέρ να διαβαζόσουν και πάλι τον καταποντισμό δεν τον γλίτωνες.
Η πρώην έρχεται να καταστρέψει τη νυν και κατ' επέκταση το ζεγάρι.(Οriginality at its finest.) Εντωμεταξύ η πρώην δεν φτάνει σε κακία ούτε μία παρανυχίδα από τη Σωσώ Παπαδήμα. Όσο για τη νυν είναι ένα ανασφαλές ντουβάρι με παντελή έλλειψη αυτοεκτίμησης που της αξίζει ό,τι και να πάθει.
Εντωμεταξύ η συγγραφέας καταφέρνει εντελώς άθελά της να κάνει τον αναγνώστη να συμπαθήσει περισσότερο την εχθρό της καθαγιασμένης ηρωίδας και αυτό όσο να 'ναι απαιτεί κάποιου είδους ταλέντο για να το πετύχεις γι' αυτό ας τσιμπήσει αστεράκια 2.
Ήθελα ένα ανάλαφρο/χαρούμενο βιβλίο παραλίας και ορίστε τι έπαθα, τις τελευταίες σελίδες τις ξεπέταξα έτσι όπως τινάζεις την άμμο από την πετσετούλα.

[Angela calise · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was just awful. The so-called "evil" ex-girlfriend was no where near awful enough. I barely was able to register when she was trying to sabotage the main characters relationship.I would glaze past it and not realize I was supposed to be appalled by her actions. If you're going to make a character a bitch, you cant just have her be attractive and a bit of a liar. I just didn't hate her the way I was supposed to.

I had to force myself to finish this book. It crawled by at an annoyingly slow pace.The main character was so paranoid and crazy it was just frustrating to read. I wanted to climb in the book and hit her over the head with a magazine. I don't know what drove her to be so neurotic. I wish I had understood more because maybe then I would not hate her so passionately.

And finally, the climax of the story. If you are going to have everything crash down on the main character, at least tell me how it was all resolved. Don't just give me a summary of what went down in the weeks to follow. As soon as everything was out and the open and discovered, the book was over. I almost wiggled the book looking for the missing pages. But, of course, there were none. It was over. Awful. Just awful.

This book was just too disappointing for anyone to want to read. So just put this book on a list of books to skip.

[Rhonda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reminded me alot of myself. Though the main character Elise went overboard with her stalking of her fiances ex-girlfriend. Because she couldn't trust she almost lost everything. I could really understand Elise and it made me think.

[Kristin Dow · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not impressed, a disappointing follow up to her previous book. Heroine was over-the-top insecure and obsessive. I wasn't rooting for her. Unfamiliar references are a turn off and take me out of the story. Didn't take advantage of the D.C. setting.

[Lynanne · Rating 1 out of 5]

My one word review? Lame

I chose this book off the library shelf at random. Or semi-random - on a whim, I picked the first and last books off the shelf in the fiction section of the local library. This was the last book on the shelf that day. A very fitting place for it. I should have left it there.

It took me over 100 pages to become the slightest bit interested in the book, which is pretty sad considering the book is a little over 200 pages long. It held my attention for a whole 20 pages. Although it was an incredibly easy read, I didn't blaze through it - I kept putting it down out of boredom. The characters were incredibly shallow and unbelievable and the plot was predictable.

I'd like to say something good about this book but I really cant. Sorry.

[Amanda Morgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

What turns an ordinarily self-confident attractive woman into a suspicious, lying, sneaking stalker? For twenty-something freelance book editor Elise, it’s hearing that her fiance’s ex-fiance is moving to town and wants to be neighbors in “Her.”
To be fair, Elise’s fiance Donald mentions Adrienne, his ex-, the first time they met. He told her all about Adrienne. He was venting on a plane ride where they happened to be seatmates. Elise thought Donald was cute and overly tall at 6’ 6”, however didn’t really think much more about him until they both actually showed up a week later at a coffee shop date they had suggested during the plane ride.
Hitting it off immediately, things went quickly from there. Both having recently moved from New York City to Washington, D.C., they had a lot in common. Donald is a teacher at a private school, Elise works from home editing books her best friend sends her on a freelance basis.
Fortunately, when Adrienne announces she’s moving to D.C., for work and wants Donald to show her around the city, Elise’s work-at-home schedule allows her plenty of time to go through Donald’s old pictures, his computer, his pockets, his phone, anything she can think of to get more information on Adrienne and what she really wants from Donald. Instead of planning for their wedding, Elise finds herself frequently sidetracked by stalking.
Adrienne is beautiful, busty, smart, rich and well-connected. Elise can’t figure out why Donald and she aren’t still together, until Donald admits that it’s Adrienne that broke up with him. Then, on several of Elise’s stalking expeditions, she finds Donald’s car in Adrienne’s driveway during school hours, or sees them walking down the street together. When she asks Donald how his day was, he fails to mention his time spent with Adrienne. This kicks Elise’s stalking into high gear.
Certainly most women would be insecure to have their boyfriend/fiance’s ex- in the picture, especially if she’s as seemingly perfect as Adrienne. The hijinks that Elise gets into over this situation, however, are not always funny, mostly pathetic. She can’t seem to pull herself together no matter how reassuring Donald is, to the point where she almost loses him. This is a decent chick lit story, that is relatable to a point, but after that it’s just lunacy.

[Alyssa Stewart · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh. I read Dating Big Bird by Laura Zigman and really liked it so I was looking forward to Her, but the main character, Elise, is insufferable. When I figured out that she's 34 (I believe) I wanted to throw the book against the wall. Her insane behavior would have been more acceptable in a 23-year-old, but goddamn, woman. You are a grown adult, yet you are the whiniest, most insecure, most obnoxious MC I can recall reading. And seriously psychologically troubled.

This entire book could have been avoided if Elise had a) TALKED to her fiance (I get that the miscommunications and misunderstandings of relationships and friendships are a common driver of plots, but this was just ridiculous) or b) found a new counselor when she moved to Washington from NYC. Because lord, she needs one. Preferably both, but either one would have sufficed. Again, I have serious doubts about the state of her mental health, because she went into serious, serious stalker mode here.

I was expecting something much more lighthearted, or something more complex but with a real basis for Elise's suspicions or an ending where she had made a real self-discovery, but she essentially just regressed further and further as the book went on and wasn't in much of a great place at the end, either. She was like the trainwreck acquaintance that you know and talk about with your friends, but aren't close enough to smack sense into, so you have no choice but to silently watch the downward spiral and hope someone close to her (in this case, clearly not either of Elise's two entire friends in DC, who were pretty much of no use) steps in.

Also, Donald and his weird stress reaction. Like, what in the F*** is that. I think he might have more mental health issues than Elise based on that alone.

[Vicky · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't find the main character to be particularly likeable--the book centers around her jealousy of her fiancé's ex, and after a while I was practically rooting for the ex. I wound up skimming the second half of the book, since I couldn't quite convince myself to either finish it properly or to just abandon it. It didn't seem to get much better, unfortunately.

[✨ Anna ✨ | ReadAllNight · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not good. About a 30-something's fiance's ex-fiance who is absolutely perfect and sort of turns the protagonist's life into a nightmare. However, the main character is horribly insecure and snoopy from the beginning; and it is not a good example of how to be healthy in a relationship.

Would give 0 stars.

July 2014.

[Romy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well well that was interesting enough.

First things first: it is so absured that it got me out of a reading slump and is definitively a guilty pleasure read.

Let's start of with the good points:

+easy read
+something I couldn't quite figure out /kept you invested
+the book/ the characters where aware of their silly behaviour which made it less annoying and more relatable

And what I didn't quite enjoy where

-way to much useless information
-girls against girls behaviour
- sexist at times
-brushed over Ed
- toxic behaviour (stalking, anger issues, obsession, extremely sensitive)

Like really these people need to chill

Donald the love interest claims he is traumatised because he needed to cook when he was younger and now "refused to be feminized any more then I already have" bro chill

But his girl Elise is the one who needs to chill out.

She is obsessed. Elise counted from the first date one how many times his ex was mentioned. That is selective perception at its peak.
Appart from that did she went through all his stuff on the 3 date just to find a picture of her. To then move on to even worse stalking. (Checking his phone and stuff constantly,driving by HER house, always thinking what his ex would have done)
Nah that's not just jealousy that is sick.

Elise is also the most sensitive and angry person I have ever read about. He didn't get her hight right and she went on " why are you bothering to marry me if I am short and fat blob like"
I get that she is insecure but she is so angry about it. Every time he says something I have to read about how her blood boiled and she exploded.
She really is looking for a fight here.

And before he even met his ex she pulled the "If you love me more you would never talk to her again" card and "I had little tolerance for guys who prided themselfves on remaining close to their exes"

Especially his supposedly manipulative ex seemes super nice and never did a think to insinuate that she wanted to get back with him. And neither did he. The lack of trust and obsession was driving me crazy.

I kinda hoped that she would just realise that she had fallen for his ex since she was so obssesd and prepared more for the first meeting as I ever did for any date. Apart from that just the way she is going crazy about how beautiful his ex lookes.

Eventhough the book also called her out on that and she knew that she was crazy it never really showed how problematic her behaviour was and how toxic the relationship between both is.
This can also be seen as her complete lack of care when it comes to his Ed. The only time she cared was when she realised that others where judging her because she didn't seem to care. And apart from that she put it of as annoying.
And when his ex cared she was saying that it was just an evil trick of hers and a deep betrayel.


Now to the spoilers:











I would have given the book 5 stars if (instead of Elise and Donald being happy ever after and his ex still being portrayed as the root of all evil) they would have just acknowledged how bad their relationship ship was and ended things. With both of them going to Therapie and mabye after years working it out.

Or her actually ending up with his ex.


But like this it just seemed like some silly think she had done. And it is completely normal to be in that kind of relationship and you never need to really work out your problems if you just ignore the consequences.


Nevertheless it was indeed interesting to see this complety new perspektive and I still devoured the book in 2 days.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elise meets Donald on an airplane and in their very first conversation Her name comes up: Adrienne, his ex fiance, with whom he shares custody of a dog, Lucy. Not long after, they are engaged and then Adrienne suddenly pops into their lives. And she is perfect: attractive, sophisticated and with no apparent flaws. She wins over all Elise's friends but her goals are suspect. And Elise does not trust that she is just a friend to Donald.

I will be charitable and try not to judge the characters for their terrible decisions. The book is written well and remains entertaining. I just didn't like it as much as the other Zigman books I read.
No harm, no foul. It's ok. Three stars.

[Zoe Weiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Her by Laura Zigman is a realistic fiction involving a dramatic romance with innocent Elise and her fiance Donald. The two are happily in love, they decide to get engaged and while planning their wedding, ex fiancee of Donald, Adrienne, leaves New York to move in the same city as them. Just as plans are going smoothly, old friend Adrienne, who is absolutely stunning and well known in New York now has no friends here, she ends up spending her weeks hanging out with the two of them and their friends. Elise, the open and welcoming person she is, spends time with her, but as weeks go by and Donald isn’t in the house as much and nor is Adrienne, what will Elise and her friends start to think? I found this book to be a good exposure to things that can happen while in a relationship.One thing that bothered me while reading, was knowing that Elise’s friends wouldn’t help her find out what was going on, which aggrivated Elise and I because there would be more fights. A fight broke out even in front of Adrienne because Elise confronted her friend which even made me concerned because they weren’t talking for quite some time which made the book seem even longer. From my own experience with friends and relationships, I know misinterpretations play a huge role, just as well as looking at other's point of view. I personally can understand how frustrating it must’ve been for Elise to not know what was going on between the two of them. Even when it comes to friends relationships my frustration can boil knowing that something isn’t right. I would recommend this book to teens or anyone in a relationship that’s into a suspenseful romance and for people looking to find out what happens in some relationships. Donald and Elise’s fights became so bad, I ended worrying if he was going to go back to Adrienne as well. Was Donald really just “looking at the menu” or did he order…? Read to find out the story behind this love triangle.

[Syeda Hirra Fatimah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a story of a woman, Elise, who is over obsessed with her fiancé's ex girlfriend. She hates her guts and keeps hallucinating about her looks and manners way before she's even met her. And once the ex, Adrienne, decides to move to Washington where Elise lives with Donald, things start getting twisted. The way I see it is that, Elise is nothing but paranoid by this ghost of ex girlfriend due to which she starts seeing what isn't even there. She's so obsessed with her that she starts suspecting her fiancé for nothing. He loves her dearly and gives her not a single reason to doubt him. They're getting married in a few months and Elise goes on to sabotaging her own wedding because of her irrational behaviour. She starts checking Donald's messages, emails, calls, pockets and whatnot. She even stalked them both to the point of madness. She checks the ex girlfriend's horoscope even, I mean c'mon. 'If it ain't broken don't fix it, if it doesn't itch don't scratch it' - the best advise she could get but she didn't listen to it and almost lost everything. Her love life, her fiancé, her credibility. But there are references to a Dr Frond and her sessions with him. Which gives us a hint that she might actually have an illness due to which she acts in such an obsessive compulsive manner. But the way I see it is that she brought self-generated self-destruction upon her. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Plus I just didn't get Donald's urge to pull his pants down and get on all fours when he got nervous or anxious? 😏

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I pick books to read by creative and sometimes random leaps of logic. Her by Laura Zigman had catchy cover art and a title that reminded me by association with She by H. Rider Haggard, which in turn made me think of the Rumpole series. Somewhere in the middle of all that thinking I decided what the heck, I'd check out the book.

What sets Her apart from the other chick lit books I've read is that Elise, the protagonist, is the self described other woman. She is now going head to head with her fiancé's ex-girlfriend. She spies, she schemes, she plots and she seethes inside. It is really easy to get carried away with her perception of the situation and begin hating the boyfriend and his ex until Elise will do something so completely out of the blue to knock one out of the story.

The main drawback for me was Elise's personality. She spends so much of the book being defensive and paranoid that it's hard to like her or get to know her. If she went a little further (like torture, main or perhaps kill one or both of them) then she'd have the same uneasy charisma as Patricia Highsmith's Tom Ripley. As the book is pegged as a chick lit it's on a course for a happy ending which precludes Elise from embracing her inner Ripley. I would have given the book a five out of five if she had.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Her is a light and fluffy piece of Chick Lit and an incredibly fast read. I think I finished it in two relatively short sittings, something very rare for me these days. I can’t say I recommend it, though. I found the protagonist completely unlikeable. She becomes unhinged over her fiance’s ex-fiance moving nearby. The entire book is one crazy incident after another of the narrator’s downward spiral of low self-esteem, jealousy, and obsession. This may have been harder for me to read because I’m still very good friends with an ex, and I always worry that his new girlfriends will hate me from the get-go just like the woman in this book.

[Carrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having loved Zigman's "Animal Husbandry" the first time through, I picked up "Her." The story centers on a woman who is in a happy relationship, but is worked up about meeting her man's ex, who she fears is better looking, more successful, more deserving of his love, etc. It was funny in parts, but the author and I apparently live in different worlds. For one thing, the main character lives in a nice neighborhood in DC (with no roommates) and supposedly makes very little money. Sorry, but I don't buy it! I've tried, honey! Secondly, there's a lot of typical boring female behavior described here like choosing the perfect outfit for an occasion. Gag me with a Chicklit!

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

the cover illustration was the best part of the book. The main character Elise..completely detestable. All the characters, even HER were flat and dull. waste of time. The only redeeming quality is the brevity of the book.

[Robyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book made me way too tense, all the stalking and waiting for the protagonist to get caught. Just kind of "eh" on this one.

[Caleigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another attempt at chick lit spawned by the current trend, and not a terribly good one. Give it a miss.

[Milla · Rating 1 out of 5]

280 pages of blabla, not funny at all.

[Melinda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, I found this book to be very childish. Like seriously a grown woman like Elise, you would think she would be happy that Donald chose her over Adrienne, but man she took jealousy to a whole other level. Everything that any of the 3 characters did was super annoying and childish. Like everyone acts like they are in grade school, where no one talks to anyone, always second guess yourself and pull childish moves. Honestly, Elise has major trust issues, which she does not discuss it with Donald, she keeps it bottled up inside, to the point of driving even the readers insane. Donald is so like clueless, focusing on some random stuff, like how "fat" he looks. Wow, intelligent conversations between Donald and Elise, eh. And Adrienne, a tad needy, but I really think she could have tried harder if she really wanted Donald back, but then again if she is sooooo perfect, why settle for Donald or anyone?

I just didn't like any of the characters nor did I connect with them. The ending, wow, neither Donald or Elise talked about their issues and concerns thoroughly, it just kind of ends like that. Ummm... ok... guess not addressing issues in relationships is the answer?!

[Debbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m just not sure what to say about this book. While it’s mildly funny and entertaining because it’s fiction, it’s kind of scary to think of a 34-year old acting like this in real life. I had some craziness like this happen in my own life, only it was the crazy, older woman trying to make my life hell because I was dating her ex; I was 19, and she was 20-something though. It’s the kind of thing that could happen with younger people, but mid-30s? It was just a little too much for me. Elise had a guy she loved and who clearly loved her. It’s kind of sad that she didn’t give herself enough credit. Donald was kind of an idiot though. I’m sure it didn’t help Elise feel great when her fiancé, who apparently had a great body, was constantly worrying that he was fat and had dated a knockout before. Between that and the neurotic behavior and the keeping secrets, Elise had reason to be suspicious. She just took it WAY too far. It was funny to read (because it was so over the top), but I couldn’t possibly give it more than two stars because it was just ludicrous behavior. Also, I found the character of her friend Gayle to be completely annoying. She was a moron.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elise and Donald are in middle of their wedding plans, when Donald’s hot ex-girlfriend shows up in their lives. It’s a charming little story about a woman beginning to feel insecure about her place in her
relationship. I read through it in couple of days – I probably would’ve read it in one sitting, if I wasn’t
feeling guilty about not doing my errands/chores. I can definitely relate to Elise, b/c like her, I tend to
question and analyze perfectly fine situations and become insecure. Especially in a relationship. Of course I’m not as neurotic and find out my boyfriend’s passwords for voicemails/emails and go through his personal items. I mean, that’s so horribly dishonest. You really get to see how much they love each other and everything, but then you know that she totally picks his pockets, so then you wonder if true love can be based on this kind of distrust. But, overall, a fun, charming, lighthearted book.

[Lauren Flynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

From as early as page 21, Elise should have sensed the "red flags" on the first date. A woman her age should be self aware enough to know that the relationship with his ex was something that was going to bother her. Donald seemed pretty self absorbed and the only time I sympathized with him was in the final 3 pages when his dog died.
I didn't enjoy Zigman's writing style that crammed a rambling paragraph into parenthesis and then resume the sentence. By the time she resumed the sentence I forgot what she was even saying in the first place. The author did it a lot and it made it hard to read.

[Pamfrommd · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a 2-star book but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. I’m a sucker for any book set in DC, my hometown. Especially when streets and local landmarks are sprinkled about. “She drove down Connecticut Ave to Politics and Prose and then over on Western Ave to Mazza Galleria.” (Not an actual quote.) Shallow? Probably.
It was a slight little rom-com with just enough plot and silliness to carry it along. I may read other novels by her. Maybe I should give it 3 stars?

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

I feel bad rating this 1 star, as I know this is someone's work and was written almost 20 years ago, but reading this book in the year 2020 was embarrassing. I found the main character to be incredibly sad and frankly unrealistic. I'm glad to report I don't know any women that would stoop to the levels of Elise.

[Leah L · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was flat out terrible. Elise turned out to be the psycho one, stalking the "ex" at all hours of day and night, trying to prove "something", such as an affair, while her fiance sat home, waiting for her, NOT having an affair. ? And then that they go ahead and get married?! Really?! There was little to no resolution and this turned out to be a very quick and easy read.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Three people are in this relationship...the main character, her soon-to-be husband and Jealousy. It's a bumpy ride.

"Our friendship, however brief it was, however false it may have been, was over." "I had been over my head the whole time."

Insecurity mixes with all sorts of things. Very powerful story....

[Andres · Rating 1 out of 5]

OMG the main character is absolutely terrible.
I’ve never read or heard of someone so insecure, shallow and bordeline psychotic like Elise. She needs a lot of therapy and medicine. I was hoping that the guy will dump her.

[Megan Nigh · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5. I enjoyed her writing style and loved the D.C. setting. That said two MAJOR issues with this book. One is that the guy in this book is so sketchy and just....ick. Why on earth would she want to marry him? Second, she is freaking nuts. She doesn't trust her fiance at all and overall this was just a depressing trainwreck of a relationship. Would have worked better in a short story form with a different ending. As it was, it ended abruptly and unsatisfyingly.