*sigh*
Whatever you think this is, lower your expectations… I mean it, keep lowering them.
How does one go from being one of my most anticipated releases to being one of the biggest disappointments of the year? Honestly I don’t know but this takes the cake. Y’all don’t understand how heartbreaking it is to say that, I (usually) love Tessa’s work and I love Why Choose Romances, immediately I suspected that this would be right up my alley and I would LOVE this. This was quite possibly one of the worst why choose romances I’ve ever read (and I’ve read A LOT of why choose romances).
Before I get into it, while I still have your attention, I want to tell you the ONLY parts I enjoyed about this book. They’re called Banks, Tobias, and Gabe. If it wasn’t for these three characters I would have DNF-ed this book, period. But, no matter how much I enjoyed these characters, I do not think the love interests alone can save this book or make it worth recommending.
The smut was okay, and the dirty talk was hot at parts, but no where near her other books.
The other words were a choice, that I was willing to look past: “sex” in reference to her own bits or the guys, or ‘buns’ ‘bottom’ ‘buttock’ as her ass. But here is where I draw the line, Elise referring to her pussy, several times, as an “it”, (ex. “Fill it up for me. Now.” Y’all can probably deduce she’s not talking about a car needing gas, but herself.)
The pacing, oh boy, this whole book takes place in maybe no more than 2 weeks? How can a woman who is a self proclaimed “commitment-phobe” fall in love with three men in that short amount of time? Don’t get me started on the men, they ‘were completely changed’ since meeting her. “She was put in our paths to make all of us better. And we were put in hers, so we can worship her for it.” The conflict also happened WAYYYYY too close to the end, besides the fact that I could have told you what the conflict was less than 10% into the book, it made for a rushed resolution.
All of this being said, no, I don’t recommend this book and if you do not want to be extremely disappointed with a highly anticipated release like I was, I would skip this one.
I can and do go into heavier detail below. There might be some minor spoilers if you continue on.
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Most of my issues with this book revolve around the FMC and the plot. Let’s get into the FMC. We have a twenty something woman named Elise. A bit of background is that her father is in the Marines, so that means they moved around a lot as a child. This is the basis of a lot of Elise’s own admitted issues. She blames this as to why she avoids commitment in all forms, friendships, romantic relationships, her professional career, etc. She changes jobs every few months like clockwork and has been since she can remember, so when she tries to interview for the Marines “to finally make her parents proud of her” they reject her on the basis of her having no commitment. This exasperates her already flighty personality and moves across the country from San Diego to New York City. Here she finds her latest interest, she is aspiring to be a journalist/reporter, so she gets a job in the Gotham Times, New York City’s most respected newspaper.
Elise is working in the kitchen delivering sandwiches to the reporters in the office and pitches some ideas to Karina, the managing editor, to have Karina give Elise a chance to write something. Elise has never gone to journalism school, and all the writers at Gotham Times have gone though journalism school and have a master’s degree and years of experience. She’s said and I quote “I’m not cut out for long hauls. I’d make it though one year of journalism school, tops. Forget about a master’s. I don’t have that kind of dedication inside me.” She got he job delivering sandwiches to the writers in hopes of skipping all the steps and just getting to where she wants to go.
She goes as far as to somehow discover a corruption ploy between the deputy mayor and the construction union boss to out the current mayor during an election year where the deputy mayor is a candidate. We don’t get much of the WHY? on the corruption is happening we just know it is. Elise is playing a shitty Nancy Drew and following the deputy mayor and finds herself stuck on a tram back to NYC with three men. Tobias, the British former adult film star, Banks, the former star rugby player turned coach for a New York Rugby team, and last of all Gabe, the himbo of the group and building construction foreman.
The three men are INSTANTLY lusting over her (insert eye roll here) and there’s an immediate connection to each of them. But like Elise is wont to do, she runs from anything that could even smell like a bit of effort/commitment. I relate to her on literally one line only “I can barely tolerate one man, let alone three.” Gabe makes it possible for the group to see her again after her very hasty exit of said tram. The guys show up at her office and Karina gives her an opportunity to write an article in the lifestyle column on what it would be like for a woman to be in a polyamorous relationship. She declines because shes not in a polyamorous relationship and she goes to tell the guys off. They are able to convince her to go on a date. The date is fun and ends with some sexy times and she realizes she has big feelings for all three of them and then they all fall asleep in the hotel room. In the morning she leaves before any of the guys are up, dick move in my opinion because she would definitely not like it if they did that to her but we move. They show up at her apartment as soon as they wake up and want her to talk about how it went and come to terms with none of them feel like this was a one and done thing. So they get her in a room to talk about her feelings, harmless right? Nope, she chooses to agree to date them for a limited time trial basis, and then right after, punches one of them in the stomach, pulls one’s beard til they’re on the ground, and then kicks the last one in the leg, all because “they made her talk about her feelings”.
BUT WAIT THERES MORE.
Once she decides to date them and starts coming to terms with her feelings for them she chooses to start writing the article that Karina gave her the opportunity to write. Tell me how a woman who is willingly choosing to date all three of these men starts this article like this: “What do an egomaniacal porn star, an emotionally bullied construction foreman, and a rugby coach with crippling mommy issues have in common? They all slept in the same bed as me last night. By a simple twist of fate — and a Roosevelt Island tram malfunction — there I was, trapped with a trio of walking red flags.” She writes this and sends it off to Karina. It was exactly in this moment that I fought to DNF this book, and in hindsight I really should have because it only got worse from there.
Oh but wait there’s more, Elise single handedly solves Banks’ “crippling mommy issues”, and Gabe is able to stop being “emotionally bullied” and find a backbone somewhere in her magical pussy, and Tobias is able to take the ‘I hide my pain and insecurity behind my charm and humor’ mask and ‘become a real man’.
The biggest issue I had makes this book get exponentially worse in my opinion, when, SHOCKER the article she wrote about her and the guy is getting published, and the reaction of the guys finding this article is taken. Tobias finds the article and is understandably and reasonably upset, but he’s the only one. Banks is ready to defend her like the best criminal lawyer in the world and tells Tobias he’s “overreacting”! Absolutely not, his feelings are completely fucking valid. I hated that the guys handled the conflict resolution amongst themselves. Banks inherently gaslit the shit out of Tobias’ feelings.
Honestly, I could keep going and I would, but writing this review is exhausting and I would like to hit ‘delete content’ in my brain for having read this book, but alas I cannot. So I am going to pretend I did not read this and move the fuck on.