Revenge of the Furballs

24/7 Demon Mart #5

by D.M. Guay

One loser, one talking cockroach, and one karate-chopping bombshell stand between YOU and a menacing army of...fat, adorable hamsters? Wait. Back up.

Lloyd Wallace has been through a lot these past few months. He's stopped the zombie apocalypse, fought off demonic possession by the deadly sin of sloth, and helped the grim reaper get his job back. All he wants is to retreat to his oasis—Okay, so it's not an oasis. It's his childhood bedroom, in his parents' house, but still—to rest and recharge. Easy, right

Nope. First, he finds a mysterious hamster with a terrible attitude and sharp teeth in his closet. Then his manager—a salty, foul-mouthed hard-partying cockroach—moves in with him. When his employee manual takes over his beanbag, and his disgraced guardian angel hides from the Lord's wrath in the closet, it's clear Lloyd's room is no longer a peaceful sanctuary. It's become a crash pad for wayward supernatural creatures.

Things outside the house are even worse. 24/7 Demon Mart is infested with hamsters. Hungry vampires are attacking people on the street, unraveling the uneasy truce between the werewolves and vampires. If they can't convince their fanged and furry neighbors to kiss and make up, the 24/7 Demon Mart crew will be caught in the middle of a war.

Can Lloyd and the Demon Mart crew maintain the delicate balance that holds the magical community together? Or will the entire neighborhood—and Lloyd's life—fall apart? And where the hell are all these hamsters are coming from?

Find out in Revenge of the 24/7 Demon Mart 5.

Revenge of the Furballs is a vampires vs werewolves horror comedy, with a side of hamsters. Lots and lots of hamsters. It is the fifth book in the 24/7 Demon Mart series, a humorous urban fantasy and horror-comedy book series for fans of Christopher Moore ( Bloodsucking Fiends ), Dave Turner ( How to be Dead ), Jack Townsend ( Tales from the Gas Station ), A. Lee Martinez ( Gil's All Fright Diner ), Rick Gualtieri ( Bill the Vampire ), and Johnny Truant's Fat Vampire series.

Welcome to the 24/7 Demon Mart Universe! Two series, one hilarious adventure.

24/7 Demon Mart (Main series)
The Graveyard A Horror Comedy (Book 1)
Monster This one has zombies in it (Book 2)
Angel A grim reaper comedy (Book 3)
A sinfully demonic comedy (Book 4)
Revenge of the A vampires vs werewolves horror comedy (Book 5)

24/7 Demon Mart Stories (read anytime after The Graveyard Shift)
Hell for the A 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas Special
Critters from the Poo A 24/7 Demon Mart Creature Feature

24/7 Demon Mart Short Reads
Kevin vs The Mothman
Kevin vs The Loveland Frogs

Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Humor, Demons, Urban Fantasy, Comedy, Paranormal

294 pages, Paperback

First published March 13, 2023

About the author

DM Guay is a horror fan who mish-mashes her love of all that's scary/gory/geeky/funny into stories about creeps and critters, ghouls and ghosts, and all of the unseemly things that go bump in the night.

Denise lives in Ohio with her 12-foot skeletons. She gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween. She is a stage four kidney cancer surviver (It was bleak. Seriously.), so she donates some of her royalties to the Kidney Cancer Research Alliance. (KCCURE. ORG)

She also runs "Monsters In Your Inbox" a monthly round-up of B-horror movies, horror comedy books, and weird news.

Website: http://dmguay.com
Direct Store: https://payhip.com/authordmguay
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B06XVFZ2X2
FB:https://www.facebook.com/DMGuay

Reviews

[Eli - Bookworm & Vine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has been a very enjoyable series.

[D.M. Guay]

Hey ghouls. I am popping in to let you know the Revenge of the Furballs audiobook hits Audible on July 11, 2023! Once again, narrated by the one and only, totally amazing Todd Haberkorn.

Thank you all so much for reading. I am grateful for all of you!

[The Book Girl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I NEED MOOOOOOORE!!!

I love this series. It has everything I want in a 5 star book. Well written, fast paced, funny, interesting characters, and so so much more. Can´t wait to read more about Lloyd´s (mis)adventures.

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining fantasy listening 🎶🔰

This kindle e-book novel is from my Kindle Unlimited account book five of six

Lloyd and friends are on another adventure this time with hamsters, vampires, werewolves, and other monsters. It all comes to a happy ending 😀.

I would recommend this series and author to 👍 readers of fantasy world 🌎 monster creatures and friends horror haunting adventure novels 👍🔰. 2024 😤👒

[Damien Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Underworld SUXXXXXXXX. OK, not really. They’re pretty cool. But DM Guay is cooler. If you’re reading this you’re probably already committed to the Demon Mart series. So, I’ll keep this one short. Revenge of the Furballs is just as fun as every book in the series. Here’s the bonus though; wereham, werekeet, and Van Helsing pet store shenanigans. K thx.

[Simon Burdus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Love these characters. My favourite of the series so far.

[BP Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 5 of the 24/7 Demon Mart series delivers as our beloved unlikely hero, Llyod, is forced to at last recognize that he should probably start thinking about becoming an adult. Oh, and did I mention this one FINALLY has vampires?

In a series with ever-increasing dangers of Lovecraft proportions, I was pleased to see that this one brought the cosmic escalation down and focused on Lloyd's domestic life and how working at the Demon Mart would affect his family. A recurring theme throughout was that, eventually, monsters would follow him home... that and "I can't believe you still live with you mom."

It's fun, it quirky, and the book gives a new (hilarious) take on old vampire tropes.

I highly recommend this series to anyone in the market for dark comedy.

[Ziggy Nixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can't go wrong with a hamster. Wonderful pets. So sweet and so cuddly, and very easy to handle. Not a mean bone in their furry little bodies. They're like fat little angels, sent straight from heaven to bring us joy!

Author DM.Guay has once again put together a tour de forcitude of urban fantasy hilarity! Even though a great portion of this particular episode takes place outside of the usual 24/7 Demon Mart setting, “Revenge of the Furballs” has to be one of the best ensemble pieces in this growing collection! If you haven't included this series in your reading plans yet, well, you are missing truly some of the best of the spooky haha's and heehee's out there in Bookland! I equivocate you not!

We work at Demon Mart. Anything could have followed us home!

Lloyd the ham is back (ham, as in literally the food… noting so many comment on just how fat AND delicious he looks! And probably tastes great when braised with a mild mustard sauce!) and things are crazier than ever! Just a few hours after their last adventure wrapped up and all their sins were expunged (trust me on this), we once again find ourselves in the presence of our beloved hot wanna-be ninja lady person, salty cockroach, and energy-drink pounding/video game-playing employee manual. We also get to meet a mean (as in “not nice”) hamster and a weeping angel as well, though the latter has been popping up in various configurations for a few books now. And that's just the crowd in Lloyd's room before it gets really, um, crowd-ed! Well, technically it's his parents' room since he still lives at home, but you'll see what I mean! Did we also mention naked hot dudes with way too much to show in at least the ab area? Yeah, got those eventually, too!

That new leaf I'd turned over was really biting me in the ass.

This particular tale is a(n) absolutely side-splitting romp that spares no one or thing! As usual, Guay's writing flows like hot buttered, um, stuff (all I could think of with 'hot butter' was popcorn and that doesn't really flow, does it?). Her on-going – and obviously well-researched – creativity, even in what seems like a limited environment, is fantastic. She really does have a knack for the horror genre in all its incarnations and is a worthy scribe to keep the spirit of same alive (or undead, your call)! And as usual, I couldn't put the book down from the moment I first opened it! So yes, after months of waiting, I devoured this latest installment of the "24/7 Demon Mart" series in practically one sitting! AGAIN! But oh how I love these books! This is urban fantasy distilled with the finest essence of humor that you can find out there folks! As maybe you can tell by now, I found that this latest escapade was no exception!

Hamster! Vampires? Werewolves? JUICE BOX?

With the exception (oops, I said no exceptions, didn't I?) of their demonic boss Faust, busy sulking away, um, I mean, seeing to some much needed self-improvement behind closed doors because of his previous behavior in the Book That Cameth Before This One, all kinds of “things” get going very quickly in this episode! Before you know it, we're busy shopping for supplies for very oddly behaving hamsters, being chased by blood- (and coffee-)sucking vampires, and relying on werewolves – or werewolf better said (maybe even carewolf?) - to save our pudgy selves. And don't get me started on the effects of combining Carolina Reaper garlic dip and pickle juice! And not just because it reminded me of more than one lost weekend during my college years… urrpp…

How can you think of pickles at a time like this? There are vampires in my yard!

I will say though that the brief visit to the headquarters of The Greater Ohio Chapter of the International Association of Vampires was more than worth the price of admission! I can just imagine poor Anne Rice turning 'round like an absolute turbine in her tomb at the sheer blasphemy! Or who knows, maybe she was (is?) a big fan of hydrangeas and would find quite a lot of what is presented perfectly acceptable, muppet references be damned. Needless to say, these are not your grandparents' version of vampires or any other kind of (blank)-pires or were-(blank)s or what-(blank)-evers. Or maybe they are if they enjoyed all those great “Abbott and Costello” takes on the classics which no one ever seems to add to their great lore lists! But combined with the same kind of skewed respect that other authors show our fang-ed friends – with a special nod to Chris Tullbane's immortal “John Smith” series – it's a wonder any of us fear the night anymore. You know, besides Lloyd. And parakeets. Oh, did we mention the hamsters? So many damn hamsters…

It was like being barfed on by someone else's rainbow.

What else can I say? This was sheer fun, funny and just the right amount of freaky, too! And if you're like me and have been along for the ride from Book 1 and even count the novellas and a wacky short-story as some of the best, too, then you'll have a blast! Oh and do try the sausage… it's nutritious, delicious, AND educational! Tell 'em Colonel Jeffy and Sergeant Puffy sent ya'! Gone but never forgotten…

Suddenly, I felt something in my chest. Maybe it was my heart growing, like the Grinch. Or indigestion.

[Mary Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lloyd grows up. Lol. The vampires were a new twist, really funny. Lloyds Mom is so sweet, love her.
Kevin is hysterical. This was a fun series. Very out of the box on “monster”. I had stitches laughing at the “you’re my cookie” part😂.

Loved it.

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the end of the last book in the series, Lloyd discovers the missing pet hamster of the serial-murderer-esq seven-year-old who lives next door and things are clearly not right with the poor animal. I’ve spent the past nine months wondering exactly what was up with the poor little critter and have been leaning toward the hamster-zombie apocalypse. Fortunately, D. M. Guay had a much better plan in store for us, although it takes quite a while to learn what’s up with the city’s hamster population.

The reason for the delay is that Lloyd has a whole new set of problems distracting him from Mr. Nibbles. Half of those problems resulted from promises he made in attempting to save his friends in the last book. The most important of these problems take the form of his supervisor, Kevin (reincarnated into the body of a cockroach) who wants to move in and be roommates, and his guardian angel, who got herself suspended and is trying to avoid her new gig as a miraculously weeping angel statue. The other half of the problems come from the local vampire and werewolf populations who are working themselves into a state of war. Lloyd, naturally, is smack in the middle of all of this, even though he is desperately trying to stay out of the new problems so he can work on getting his life in better order so he does not fall prey to re-possession by Sloth.

If that all seems like a lot to bite hold of, it’s not. Guay eases you in with her usual humor, as poor Lloyd stumbles from one problem to the next with the least supportive group of “friends” imaginable. It seems that everyone wants to eat our overweight hero—except for his mother who is hinting strongly that he should be like his big sister and move out.

It’s pretty standard to feel bad for Lloyd in this series, but I find it especially true this time around. After his experiences in the last book, Lloyd really is trying to do the right thing and get his life in order, and absolutely everyone is pretty rotten to him, acting disgusted that he freeloads off his parents while they freeload off of him (and his parents). I think it’s a testament to what a good guy he is that he keeps it together as long as he does.

As usual, it’s Guay’s odd takes on standard horror motifs that makes this book stand out from the crowd. I honestly don’t know how she does it. Her monsters are true to the genre (werewolves and vampires this time) and yet, at the same time, they are total farces that had me laughing all the way through to the end.

[Michael Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fifth (wow, really? It seems like The Graveyard Shift barely came out (even though it was over three years ago)) volume of this series continues to follow the loser Lloyd, his manager the talking cockroach Kevin, and the DeeDee, the karate chopping bombshell. It seems like they just saved the day (yet again), and once more everything is a mess.

In fact the pace of the books seems to be increasing - with this one picking up not even a day after the end of the previous book, but just a few hours later. So no rest for the wicked, or at least those trying to keep them at bay.

I really liked that several of the minor characters from the previous books are back (I really enjoyed the poker scene), giving the world a bit of continuity beyond the main characters. I would think that having played a larger role in the previous two books, the angel would have a name by now (or at least a nickname, not just a title). However the development of the character is fairly strong. It is really nice to see that these are not static characters in a sit-com, where everything effectively resets after each episode. Instead the grow and change, and are affected by the things that happen in each book.

The fun and humor are just as strong as always here. From Fluffy the werewolf, who really seems to be more of a bit (ok, huge) lovable puppy than a monster, to Morty the Incubus, who gets a little to into furries this time around. I really liked Kevin's friends (and once he introduced Joe Roach I couldn't help but flash back to the old MTV film "Joe's Apartment").

Of course the book also promised vampires and werewolves, and easily delivers both. And hamsters, don't forget the hamsters, that just keep popping up everywhere. It is a fun, new take on vampires (and definitely NOT sparkly ones) that felt refreshing. The bedroom scene was great, giving us a bit of a new spin on someone that can remember being human at one point, and misses some parts of it.

Of course there are some hints and hooks into the next book, making me finish the last page and want to get the next one immediately. The 24/7 Demon Mart universe keeps getting bigger, with more and more parts of it I'd like to see.

A great way to bring a smile for spring, and once again it is leaving me thirsty for more.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

D. M. Guay has another winner here. I laughed, the statue cried, and vampires and werewolves are going to war in Lloyd's parents' backyard.

Lloyd is ready for some downtime after stopping the zombie apocalypse, getting the grim reaper his job back, and doing much more than any self respecting still-living-with-parents lazy manchild should be expected to do. But it just isn't his week to rest. He suddenly has roommates: Kevin, his talking cockroach supervisor; Mr. Nibbles, a very bitey hamster; a statue from the local church that actually contains his guardian angel who can't stop crying because she is stuck in the statue awaiting "reassignment"; and a few more monsters just passing through. And it seems like all of them and his parents are trying to get Lloyd to finally grow up a little and move out on his own.

Add in the fact that both the vampires and werewolves are each accusing the other group of violating the Treaty of 1972 that had resulted in an uneasy peace for the last 50+ years. And, Lloyd has gotten stuck in the middle of that through his own carelessness and the fact his car is in the shop so he is using a child's unicorn scooter to get around. (That's part of how he got involved in the conflict.)

Now, on to chapter 2. Okay, I lied, it probably took 4-5 chapters to get all that into the book. The story obviously has a lot of twists and turns that the author guides you through the life of Lloyd the chubby loser. Don't miss book #5 in the 24/7 Demon Mart series. The future of humanity may depend on it.

[Panda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like this series. This installment is actually better compared to the last two in the series so for that it gets an extra star.

Lloyd has stepped into a turf war between the vampires and the werewolves. It's fun, funny and full of character.

Unfortunately it does follow the trend set by previous two books of "lets all shit on Lloyd for 290 pages only to say it's for his own good in the last 10." because that makes for a fun read, nagging and bullying only to apply a little syrup to the shit sandwich at the very last bite.

While this was a fun read it does depend on everyone in it being and idiot, going out of their way to willfully endangering Lloyd specifically and withholding important info... just because plot.

Overall this one is better comparatively but it does suffer from the same nagging problem which limits the fun, I got the audiobook version and every time the angel had a line I had to take a break. Her lines aren't spoken, they're whined. Big difference!

[Steven Latta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needs Less Crying

This is a tough one to review because I absolutely enjoyed it more than some of the previous ones. First, it's got vampires and werewolves, and who doesn't love those? Unfortunately, it's still got some really annoying side characters who get way too much face time. Sorry, but after 4 books of at least one side character who spends the whole book in a crying fit, and having to read the "hur, hur, hur" of it written out, it's a trope that has worn out its welcome.

On the plus side, the overall story is fun and the main character makes some real progress in at least some areas of his life (c'mon dude, get a real date with DeeDee already!). Hopefully, that continues with the next book.

I also want to call out the "Book Sausage" section the author puts at the end of each of these books where she dives into the influences. I absolutely love this, and wish more authors did it. But dang, is this a gal after my own heart when it comes to monster movies, especially with this one.

[Janet Denise Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 STARS,MOVE ON,MOM NEEDS TREADMILL

5 STARS for well written storyline of Book 5 & has great BLURB provided. This fast paced action packed Series: 24/7 Demon Mart is at the cutting edge of Horror Comedy.

It by definition has to mix it up with some blood, guts, & gore but at the same time is able to keep characters you come to love even a cockroach or an statue that has a runaway guardian angel within it and of of course many other things not to mention the humans & other supernatural beings of the usual types.

One can almost feel that sense of realization when new guys laziness has caused an issue or oh yeah that happened awhile back & I just let it slide & then stuff just started all around me. I think everyone has been there at least once!

We also need to remember the cardinal rule: Never lead monsters back to the home of yours or your loved ones!

REMEMBER BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS

RECOMMEND

[James Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a helluva good time!!

If you haven't been reading the demon mart series you are seriously missing out! The relationships, the monsters, the humor, the impending disasters... It's all beautifully written, the characters well fleshed out, and the crises real enough to make you sweat! So many disappointing comedy horror books out there- my personal favorite geng
re- and then these gems rise above them all! So much fun to read you feel legitimately sad when you're reaching the end, they could go on forever and I, for one, would never tire of them.

Extraordinary stories, do yourself a favor and read them! You won't be sorry!

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know by the looks of things.. it looks like it took me a while to finish this book, but I was bouncing between this one & another. As far as my take or review.. this one is as almost entertaining as the others. One of the big things that bugged me, was Angel being a constantly weeping statue. I mean, yeahh that was kind of the point, but to hear it & read it constantly in the book, it was a bit much. I still enjoy the series as it can be tongue in cheek ish, thereby making it kind of silly, but still entertaining. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that Ms Guay is physically up to writing more in the series.

[James Crawford · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's back to Demon Mart. Some problems at at Lloyd,s home as Kevin has moved in, there's a statue of the Virgin Mary that is crying all the time (and she doesn't really have the best attitude, either), there's a biting hamster in the closet and a treaty between vampires and werewolves about who is allowed to do what where.

You've also got vamps buying sunblock, a werewolf named Fluffy, a roach party, a demon bird, most of the seven Biblical plagues and a bunch of other strange and humorous things happening.

A welcome addition to this rather unusual series.

[Chima D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another home run for the Demon Mart series!

I can't explain how much I love these quirky stories. They're so fun to read, the author does her research on her subjects, and there are plenty of moments that you're totally on the edge of your seat, wondering what could happen next! I read this book while snacking on pickles and at one point on the treadmill. (I HAD to find out what was happening next and you can't say the power of suggestion isn't strong! lol)

[ALEEA M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Revenge of the Furballs

I adore this series! If you appreciate B-Horror films you will totally get into 24/7 Demon Mart. They are all so much fun. Poor Lloyd - will he have to grow up?

This book is classic werewolf vs vampire but supper fun - with a tripod cat, lots of hampsters, some disgruntled employees and a hard rock cockroach with a plan. What’s not to love?

I’m so looking forward to the next one.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

Furballs, pickles and portals - can't really ask for more

I read this straight after book 4, and now I'm probably going to have to re-read the whole series as it helps link everything if you can remember stuff over long periods.
All the main characters are in it and from Lloyd's milf mum to anti vampire pickles, this has the lot.
If you want a funny horror book, this is for you.
Just a shame there will be another wait for the next book, great work again Denise.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

The antics of Lloyd and his friends are beginning to wear thin. To the point that I'm not enjoying being around them anymore. I mean they are really starting to turn me off. I would have dropped down to three stars but the Book Sausage (you do read the afterwords, right?) taught me something very interesting about Sesame Street so that was worth an extra star. The teaser at the end sounds interesting too.

[Joseph Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Revenge of the Fur Balls by DM Guay is an entertaining and witty urban fantasy novel, with Lloyd Wallace as the main character who is a store clerk at the 25/7 Demon Mart. The story follows Lloyd as he accidentally kills a vampire with pickle juice and gets caught up in a supernatural conspiracy.

One of the standout features of the book is the humor, which is cleverly woven into the story and frequently had me laughing out loud. The snooty vampires provide a unique and funny twist on the traditional vampire mythology, and their interactions with the other supernatural creatures are a highlight of the book.

The character growth is also a strong point, with Lloyd’s evolution from an unassuming store clerk to a confident and capable hero feeling logical and refreshing. His relationships with the other characters are well-developed and satisfying, and the supporting cast adds depth and humor to the story.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed Revenge of the Fur Balls and would highly recommend it to fans of urban fantasy. The humor is witty, the character growth is satisfying, and the world-building is immersive. I can't wait to see what adventures Lloyd gets into in the next book of the series.

[Jill Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!!

I have been in love with this series since book one. I wait and wait for each new installment and devour it immediately. I love Lloyd and Kevin and DeeDee. Kevin most likely being my favorite. This is the most original and entertaining series in comedy horror available. Read em all!! Trust me.

[Marie Harweger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome

I love her stories!! They're well thought through and extremely funny. The characters are especially great. Poor Lloyd always the brunt of jokes, Dee Dee is a super cool and Kevin is so Kevin. Once again another fun, great read. Couldn't put it down. Thanks again for this great series!

[Susie Dorman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun

This book, like the author's previous work, are fun, I mean, really fun. An assortment of simple and likable characters playing roles in a twisted environment filled with supernatural elements and monsters. Read if you want to smile and even experience a little giggle along the way.

[H.R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love

I'm obsessed with Guays writing. Fun and funny characters, unexpected moments in the story, and reminding you about prior events without feeling forced or making you confused. Guay's writing doesn't leave anything desired but more of her writing. I want to go into details, but spoilers. And I'm not spoiling this latest.

[Daniel Deitch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious

Another fun book in this totally different series. Just the amount of imagination involved producing one book about a 24/4 store serving the magical community is hard to comprehend but then to turn it into a series… Whatever the author is using to stimulate their brain must be illegal in most universes or at least terribly expensive.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

24/7 Demon Mart never disappoints!

Love the latest in the series. Anticipating the next. Always funny with a charming subtext. Revenge of the Furballs is wacky fun. The sticky situations Lloyd inevitably finds himself in are outrageous and hilarious. While I read this one on my Kindle, I also recommend the Audible versions as the narrator makes the books come to life.

[one9eighty · Rating 5 out of 5]

We've had Monsters, Zombies, Ghosts and Demons in the series (and more that I haven't named)... now Lloyd and the 24/7 Demon Mart team have to deal with warring factions of Vampires and Werewolves - and worse still, his homelife seems to be the battleground.

Another wonderful written and paced story from DM Guay that I'm giving a full 5 stars to.