P.E.T. in Action

by Thomas Gordon

The classic Parent Effectiveness Training put to action in this valuable book on parent-child relationships. Raise a successful child with this rare but classic book!

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help

Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1976

About the author

Thomas Gordon was an American clinical psychologist, student and later colleague of Carl Rogers. He was mainly known for his Gordon Method, primarily a method to improve relationships between parents and children that was later developed into a general communication method to improve all relationships.

Dr. Gordon spent more than 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed for building effective relationships. His model was based on a strong belief that the use of coercive power damages relationships. As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to build and maintain good relationships at home, school and at work. These skills, which include Active Listening, I-Messages and No-Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world. He first applied some of these methods in the 1950s as a consultant to business organizations. Then, in the early 60s, he developed the Parent Effectiveness Training course - commonly known as P.E.T. - and taught the first class to a group of 14 parents in a Pasadena, CA cafeteria. The courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the U.S. to teach it in their communities. Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states.

In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr. Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999. In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards. Gordon Training International, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work.

Reviews

[Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book about Parent Effectiveness Training, taken from interviews from parents who have taken it. There are a lot of interesting stories in it, and provides a lot to teach about parenting. I just kept thinking about how I wish my parents had taken P.E.T. A lot of it is very familiar with anyone who knows a bit about interpersonal communication and techniques such as Nonviolent Communication: I-messages, active listening, etc. I'm not sure if it would have been better to read the original book, simply called Parent Effectiveness Training. I felt like I got the gist of the approach from this book, with the added advantage of learning what they've discovered since they'd written that book, and see how it works in real life.

Something I really like is what they call "Method 3." Method 1 is controlling and authoritative, and Method 2 is permissive. Both approaches cause a lot of problems. Method 3 is neither controlling nor permissive. It's about knowing who owns which problems, and leaving it up to them to solve them, while remaining completely engaged. Kids love to solve their own problems. It empowers them, and it takes so much stress off the parents' shoulders. Kids know how to police themselves. They take their parents with them wherever they go. If their parents are too controlling and nagging, their inner parent will constantly trigger rebellious feelings, but if their parents have gained their kids respect and trust, their inner parent will become a guide.

The best part of this book is the very end. It's an essay submitted by a parent who has taken P.E.T. Two of her kids were into drugs and ran away from home, moving to a different state. She was at her wits end and had no clue what else to do when she took P.E.T. This allowed her to start engaging with her kids in a new way and the results were miraculous. They formed new relationships with their kids and they became very close.

[Álvaro Díaz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Aunque la traducción y la estructura del libro a veces pueda haberme echado un poco para atrás, lo cierto es que se trata de un título muy interesante, sobre todo en lo que a aprendizaje de nuevas habilidades educativas se refiere. No obstante, es un libro que nos explica un método de crianza que requiere de mucha práctica que el propio libro no puede ofrecer, así que lo veo más indicado para personas que puedan practicar el método o que ya tengan una base, porque por sí solo dejaría muchas lagunas.

[Natalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Najlepsza książka nie tylko o wychowaniu, ale i o komunikacji interpersonalnej z jaką się spotkałam