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If Only
A stunning debut about one girl's journey through loss and grief. Corinna's world is crushed after her mother dies of cancer. How does she get through the funeral, trays of ziti, a father who can't communicate, the first day of school, Mother's Day, people who don't know what to say, and the entire eighth-grade year? Despite her alienation from many of her peers, including her best friend, she succeeds in finding support. She dares to bare her innermost fears, hurts, and wishes, and even allows herself to have a flowering crush on a boy in the school band. She also finds out deep secrets about her mother which she never knew. It's a year that will change Corinna's life forever.
327 pages, Hardcover
First published March 1, 2012
27 people are currently reading
842 people want to read
About the author
Carole Geithner
2 books30 followersCarole Sonnenfeld Geithner has over 20 years of experience as a clinical social worker in schools and a university, hospitals, counseling agencies, and private practice with children, teens, and adults, many of whom had childhoods shaped by significant loss. In addition to her clinical practice, she leads Writing to Heal workshops for non-profit service organizations, including Gilda’s Club Westchester and Good Grief.
As an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at George Washington University's School of Medicine, she taught listening skills to medical students. Carole serves on the board of The Sun Valley Writer's Conference. She grew up in Princeton, NJ and has lived in Washington D.C., NY, France, and Japan. Her mother, Portia Sonnenfeld, died when Carole was twenty-five. She is married and has two adult children. IF ONLY is her first novel, first published by Scholastic Press and now reprinted by Corinna Press.
For more information and news about the author and the book, please visit www.carolegeithner.com
As an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at George Washington University's School of Medicine, she taught listening skills to medical students. Carole serves on the board of The Sun Valley Writer's Conference. She grew up in Princeton, NJ and has lived in Washington D.C., NY, France, and Japan. Her mother, Portia Sonnenfeld, died when Carole was twenty-five. She is married and has two adult children. IF ONLY is her first novel, first published by Scholastic Press and now reprinted by Corinna Press.
For more information and news about the author and the book, please visit www.carolegeithner.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 128 reviews
January 29, 2012
It's rare when I agree with blurbage/jacket copy like "...nothing short of extraordinary" but here, it's so deserved.
Corinna's life has been completely upended by the death of her mother in the summer between her seventh and eighth grade years. If Only is her journal of her life during 8th grade, marking the various firsts of life without her mother, as well as first in life generally. There's such deep sadness mixed with normal teen girl stuff (like her "orange crush") and her feelings of loneliness and distance from her friends are part of a pitch-perfect book. There were no moments when I felt that there was something age inappropriate or false about Corinna's voice.
While written for middle grade girls, this is a wonderful read for anyone who has lost, or knows someone who has lost, a parent when young.
ARC provided by publisher.
Corinna's life has been completely upended by the death of her mother in the summer between her seventh and eighth grade years. If Only is her journal of her life during 8th grade, marking the various firsts of life without her mother, as well as first in life generally. There's such deep sadness mixed with normal teen girl stuff (like her "orange crush") and her feelings of loneliness and distance from her friends are part of a pitch-perfect book. There were no moments when I felt that there was something age inappropriate or false about Corinna's voice.
While written for middle grade girls, this is a wonderful read for anyone who has lost, or knows someone who has lost, a parent when young.
ARC provided by publisher.
April 25, 2012
If Only is a book I saw on the goodreads give away list and signed up for kind of expecting to blast. It’s young adult fiction about grief and for some reason I expected it to be platitudes and a lot of “fake it till you make it” sort of advice disguised as fiction. I am happy to announce that I was wrong. This is not a moral tale at all. In fact I will probably buy multiple copies of it. It goes on my very short list of quite helpful resources for dealing with grief, death and the pain of negotiating life “after death.” Not “after death” as in eternity but after experiencing the death of someone close.
Corinna is a “normal” middle schooler with all of the anxieties, stressors, confusions and drama except that she isn’t anymore. The whole “highlight of my summer” thing was brutal for her, because over the summer she lost her mother. The story takes the reader through Corinna’s school year in 8th grade. It is helpful to see through the eyes of a young teen during grief. As Corinna struggles to do life and relate to her friends grief hits her in waves.
I would hand this book to a lot of different people. I would give it to adults who have a child in their life going through grief. I would give it to middle and high school students who have a friend going through grief. It is a snapshot into what is and isn’t helpful. Although that differs for each person, I think this book could help teach a young teen especially how to be loving and caring toward a peer dealing with loss. It could be powerfully encouraging for a teen dealing with loss if it was presented gently and timed well.
One of the powerful strengths of Geithner’s story is normalizing teenage responses to death. Corinna eventually interacts with peers who have lost someone. A factor that eases some of her isolation is hearing them say that they have similar fears, emotions and confusion. Instead of thinking that she is crazy she can then understand that her circumstances are the difference between her and most of her peers instead of it just being her.
I cannot recommend this book enough. I want to tell all the pastors, counselors, therapists, teachers and parents I know about it. Geithner did a spectacular job of dealing with a painful and hard issue without making it an extremely heavy book to read. If you have teenagers in your life, read this book! I have never read anything that expresses so well the unique way tragedy and death hit at that crucial age.
I am thankful to goodreads for giving me the opportunity to review this book. I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Initial response: I just finished it. I just have to saw "Wow!" I'll write more when I've had a little time to gather my thoughts.
Corinna is a “normal” middle schooler with all of the anxieties, stressors, confusions and drama except that she isn’t anymore. The whole “highlight of my summer” thing was brutal for her, because over the summer she lost her mother. The story takes the reader through Corinna’s school year in 8th grade. It is helpful to see through the eyes of a young teen during grief. As Corinna struggles to do life and relate to her friends grief hits her in waves.
I would hand this book to a lot of different people. I would give it to adults who have a child in their life going through grief. I would give it to middle and high school students who have a friend going through grief. It is a snapshot into what is and isn’t helpful. Although that differs for each person, I think this book could help teach a young teen especially how to be loving and caring toward a peer dealing with loss. It could be powerfully encouraging for a teen dealing with loss if it was presented gently and timed well.
One of the powerful strengths of Geithner’s story is normalizing teenage responses to death. Corinna eventually interacts with peers who have lost someone. A factor that eases some of her isolation is hearing them say that they have similar fears, emotions and confusion. Instead of thinking that she is crazy she can then understand that her circumstances are the difference between her and most of her peers instead of it just being her.
I cannot recommend this book enough. I want to tell all the pastors, counselors, therapists, teachers and parents I know about it. Geithner did a spectacular job of dealing with a painful and hard issue without making it an extremely heavy book to read. If you have teenagers in your life, read this book! I have never read anything that expresses so well the unique way tragedy and death hit at that crucial age.
I am thankful to goodreads for giving me the opportunity to review this book. I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Initial response: I just finished it. I just have to saw "Wow!" I'll write more when I've had a little time to gather my thoughts.
April 2, 2013
Yet another early copy from the book exchange shelf at work. I work in a Writing Center, so we're all kinds of reading-and-writing people, so someone must be on someone's list. And since uncorrected proofs all say "NOT FOR SALE" on them, I totally reap the benefits.
So, when I started this book, I'd woken up at 2:30 am and not been able to fall back to sleep, so I was really tired by the time I got my hands on this book, around 12:30 pm. I don't recommend reading this when you're susceptible to emotional manipulation. Corinna was all sad about her mom being dead, and that made me all sad about her mom being dead, and I walked around like a zombie until I got to go to bed at 10:30 that night. Seriously, it's probably not a good thing that I drove myself home that night.
That said, I have nothing else particularly enthusiastic to say about this book. It wasn't bad. I didn't notice (m)any errors; the topic was important and valid; the characters were mostly relatable, though I haven't experienced family loss like our main character has... But neither was it amazing. I didn't read it and feel like I had no choice but to keep it; I didn't stay up late to read more; I didn't finish it and want to start over. To me, If Only is a perfectly acceptable, but largely unimpressive, book. I will allow, though, that I am definitely not the demographic the author was writing for. The information page says it's classified as a "Middle-Grade Novel" for grades 5-9 or ages 10-14. I passed that all up ten years ago. So perhaps a more age-appropriate reviewer will rave. I, however, will not.
So, when I started this book, I'd woken up at 2:30 am and not been able to fall back to sleep, so I was really tired by the time I got my hands on this book, around 12:30 pm. I don't recommend reading this when you're susceptible to emotional manipulation. Corinna was all sad about her mom being dead, and that made me all sad about her mom being dead, and I walked around like a zombie until I got to go to bed at 10:30 that night. Seriously, it's probably not a good thing that I drove myself home that night.
That said, I have nothing else particularly enthusiastic to say about this book. It wasn't bad. I didn't notice (m)any errors; the topic was important and valid; the characters were mostly relatable, though I haven't experienced family loss like our main character has... But neither was it amazing. I didn't read it and feel like I had no choice but to keep it; I didn't stay up late to read more; I didn't finish it and want to start over. To me, If Only is a perfectly acceptable, but largely unimpressive, book. I will allow, though, that I am definitely not the demographic the author was writing for. The information page says it's classified as a "Middle-Grade Novel" for grades 5-9 or ages 10-14. I passed that all up ten years ago. So perhaps a more age-appropriate reviewer will rave. I, however, will not.
December 20, 2011
I adored IF ONLY and didn’t want it to end. I loved Corinna and felt like she was me, and she voiced all sorts of things I thought as a girl (and still think as an adult), some of them things one can’t say out loud. Carole Geithner is a gifted writer. I recommend this book to one and all. If Only is a book to treasure.
May 31, 2012
If Only first caught my attention when an advertisement for the book popped up in my Goodreads sidebar.
After reading the book's description, I decided it should be added to my to-read list and soon discovered it was being offered as a Goodreads giveaway.
And then it got better: I actually won the book!
Ever since I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16, I have been drawn to people (or, in this case, characters) who have also experienced the death of a parent. I believe the primary reason is that I desire to see if I am not alone in my grief or insecurities or neuroses. For this reason, I was greatly anticipating reading If Only.
I cried a lot while reading the book, mainly, I think, because the protagonist was believable and having gone through similar circumstances, I could sometimes feel my heart aching, "Yes, yes, yes." Sometimes it was quite comforting to see myself--both my 16-year-old self as well as my 35-year-old self--in Corinna's thoughts and responses to people and situations.
In a number of ways, Corinna's experience was different from mine; nevertheless, I think one of the over-arching themes of the novel is that a lot of people--whether old or young--simply do not know how to deal with death well. Sometimes people don't know how to be supportive, and even in their best efforts, many cause more harm than healing.
I personally appreciated a number of the issues addressed in the book:
1. Whom can a young girl turn to speak to about girl things? (Whom can you talk to about having your period? Who buys your pads or tampons? Who goes bra shopping with you? Clothes shopping?) Thankfully Corinna has the mom of one of her friends, but this causes me to wonder how many other women out there are sensitive enough to be that woman for a girl who has lost her mother.
2. Whom do you tell about your mother's death? Do you assume that others already know? If you really care about someone, you feel like you're keeping something from him or her--a vital part of you--if you don't tell them. How do you do that without feeling awkward or possibly causing the other person to feel strange?
3. How do you refer to your mother's familial relationships? My mom has two sisters? No, she's dead. My mom had two sisters? No, they're both alive. It's complicated.
4. What happens if and when your other parent dies?
5. How do you deal with anniversaries (of a diagnosis, death)? Birthdays of the departed? Holidays like Mothers' Day when you're bombarded with advertisements everywhere? (For some reason--even 18 years later--all the Mothers' Day ads really got to me this year.)
One of the very positive points about the book is its main character learns from her painful experience to help others:
Corrina has felt labeled as "The Girl Whose Mom Died," yet her sensitivity to how she has been treated gives her the courage to stand up for another girl who has been made fun of for her weight.
Her appreciation for having received thoughtful notes from friends encourages her to write a kind message to a boy who has been newly orphaned.
She also becomes creative. Corinna doesn't obliterate the memories of her mother by blocking her out; instead she sews a quilt made of scraps of her mother's clothing.
All in all, I believe If Only is a beneficial read for people of all ages, regardless if the person has undergone personal loss or not. Those belonging to the former group will find comfort in recognizing they're not alone, while those in the latter group might better understand how to care for a friend who is grieving.
In closing and as a side note, as a D.C. resident, it was also fun to read a book set in Bethesda, MD, and to know that the book's author works literally a block away from where I live.
After reading the book's description, I decided it should be added to my to-read list and soon discovered it was being offered as a Goodreads giveaway.
And then it got better: I actually won the book!
Ever since I lost my mother to cancer when I was 16, I have been drawn to people (or, in this case, characters) who have also experienced the death of a parent. I believe the primary reason is that I desire to see if I am not alone in my grief or insecurities or neuroses. For this reason, I was greatly anticipating reading If Only.
I cried a lot while reading the book, mainly, I think, because the protagonist was believable and having gone through similar circumstances, I could sometimes feel my heart aching, "Yes, yes, yes." Sometimes it was quite comforting to see myself--both my 16-year-old self as well as my 35-year-old self--in Corinna's thoughts and responses to people and situations.
In a number of ways, Corinna's experience was different from mine; nevertheless, I think one of the over-arching themes of the novel is that a lot of people--whether old or young--simply do not know how to deal with death well. Sometimes people don't know how to be supportive, and even in their best efforts, many cause more harm than healing.
I personally appreciated a number of the issues addressed in the book:
1. Whom can a young girl turn to speak to about girl things? (Whom can you talk to about having your period? Who buys your pads or tampons? Who goes bra shopping with you? Clothes shopping?) Thankfully Corinna has the mom of one of her friends, but this causes me to wonder how many other women out there are sensitive enough to be that woman for a girl who has lost her mother.
2. Whom do you tell about your mother's death? Do you assume that others already know? If you really care about someone, you feel like you're keeping something from him or her--a vital part of you--if you don't tell them. How do you do that without feeling awkward or possibly causing the other person to feel strange?
3. How do you refer to your mother's familial relationships? My mom has two sisters? No, she's dead. My mom had two sisters? No, they're both alive. It's complicated.
4. What happens if and when your other parent dies?
5. How do you deal with anniversaries (of a diagnosis, death)? Birthdays of the departed? Holidays like Mothers' Day when you're bombarded with advertisements everywhere? (For some reason--even 18 years later--all the Mothers' Day ads really got to me this year.)
One of the very positive points about the book is its main character learns from her painful experience to help others:
Corrina has felt labeled as "The Girl Whose Mom Died," yet her sensitivity to how she has been treated gives her the courage to stand up for another girl who has been made fun of for her weight.
Her appreciation for having received thoughtful notes from friends encourages her to write a kind message to a boy who has been newly orphaned.
She also becomes creative. Corinna doesn't obliterate the memories of her mother by blocking her out; instead she sews a quilt made of scraps of her mother's clothing.
All in all, I believe If Only is a beneficial read for people of all ages, regardless if the person has undergone personal loss or not. Those belonging to the former group will find comfort in recognizing they're not alone, while those in the latter group might better understand how to care for a friend who is grieving.
In closing and as a side note, as a D.C. resident, it was also fun to read a book set in Bethesda, MD, and to know that the book's author works literally a block away from where I live.
Read
November 13, 2014If Only by Carole Geithner is a book about a girl Corinna who is having trouble getting over that her mom Sophie died of cancer. Her mom had died over the summer and when it’s time to go back to school Corinna has trouble fitting in again and finding someone who really understands. Corinna’s neighbors try to help by giving her and her dad advice or food. Corinna gets upset because they all say that they understand but she feels that you can’t really understand unless it has happened to you before. When it comes to her best friend Joci she pretends to understand, but she and Corinna get in a fight and Joci says some really harsh things about her over reacting about her mom. Will Corinna ever feel better about her mom and find some who understands?
I loved this book and couldn’t put it down. It is really heartwarming story and I would recommend it to anyone who has had someone close to them die of cancer or anyone who has known someone with cancer. I would also recommend this book to some of my friends and kids fourth grade and up.
I loved this book and couldn’t put it down. It is really heartwarming story and I would recommend it to anyone who has had someone close to them die of cancer or anyone who has known someone with cancer. I would also recommend this book to some of my friends and kids fourth grade and up.
March 15, 2012
Diane Rehm recently interviewed this author, along with a couple other people, in a show about the death of a parent in childhood/young adulthood. The program was wonderful, and so was this book. Though I haven't been through such a tragedy, the story rang true. The main character, Corinna (age 13), narrates her life for the first year or so after her mother's death. I think the book would be helpful for any kids (older elementary-young adulthood) trying to cope with a huge loss of any kind.
May 25, 2017
Two stars seems a stingy rating, but Goodreads' guide for two is "It was okay." And that's how I feel about this book. It'll do. It suffices. It's okay.
I think it would be a good book to read if you were a tween who'd lost a parent. Or maybe even a tween whose friend had lost a parent. The book's strength is writing about how it feels to carry on in the wake of a huge loss.
Unfortunately, there's just nothing interesting happening here. It's standard middle school fare: catty girls, sleepovers, crushes on boys. All functionally rendered, if with predictable tropes, especially at school. We see teachers who read notes out loud or tell a student "there's no such thing as a stupid question."
Thankfully Geithner didn't go in for melodrama. I worried there'd be an awkward adult romance between Corinna's dad and their mother's musician friend Deborah. Or that the diary Corinna finds would have some additional, darker secret -- like that Corinna was adopted, or that her mother didn't die of cancer, but of some hidden addiction. But everything was face value.
Geithner maybe did too good a job of telling an ordinary girl's story. It was so ordinary, it failed to compel.
I think it would be a good book to read if you were a tween who'd lost a parent. Or maybe even a tween whose friend had lost a parent. The book's strength is writing about how it feels to carry on in the wake of a huge loss.
Unfortunately, there's just nothing interesting happening here. It's standard middle school fare: catty girls, sleepovers, crushes on boys. All functionally rendered, if with predictable tropes, especially at school. We see teachers who read notes out loud or tell a student "there's no such thing as a stupid question."
Thankfully Geithner didn't go in for melodrama. I worried there'd be an awkward adult romance between Corinna's dad and their mother's musician friend Deborah. Or that the diary Corinna finds would have some additional, darker secret -- like that Corinna was adopted, or that her mother didn't die of cancer, but of some hidden addiction. But everything was face value.
Geithner maybe did too good a job of telling an ordinary girl's story. It was so ordinary, it failed to compel.
October 21, 2022
It was a really good book!! It didn't really have HUGE events that took place but more of just things in the main character's daily life. This book was super easy to understand and I totally recommend it.
May 30, 2012
I am a middle class white female. Both of my parents and all of my siblings are still alive, and my parents are still married to one another. Sometimes this makes me feel like it’s hard to relate to people who live or grew up in different situations, but that was before I read If Only. I don’t think that any two stories of grief are the same, but Corinna’s story shows us one of these stories, and for me, it gave me an inside look at what grief might feel like for a thirteen-year-old girl. First, there’s her grieving dad who can’t quite seem to remember that Corinna is going to need to get her hair cut and go to the dentist and do all of the things that her mom used to take care of. Next, there’s the problem of her friends and the people at school—nobody knows what to say or do or how to acknowledge the fact that Corinna’s mom has died, not even her best friend. And then there are the constant reminders: seeing her mom’s favorite cereal at the store, the lunch she now has to make herself, and even Mother’s Day advertisements on the radio.
This is Carole Geithner’s first novel, but she draws on her experience from years of working as a counselor for both children and adults to take her readers on Corinna’s journey. Her ability to write in a middle school voice while still getting at the heart of bigger issues is evident throughout the book as we journey with Corinna for the year following her mother’s death. Separated into short snippets of chapters categorized under appropriate seasons, Geithner’s writing made me think about what it would be like to lose a parent, the importance of the emotional support teachers can provide, and how often teens really just need adults to be patient.
The writing itself is just the right mix of poetic and realistic. The book begins:
“If seasons were tubes of paint, last fall would have been deep, dark black. Winter was also dark, but more like a foggy gray with lots of huge black blobs mixed in. Spring had some blue, but blue comes in lots of shades, from almost blackish blue to bright sky blue. And then there was summer. Summer had more colors than the other seasons, with hints of purples, but like one of my many soccer bruises, it could look pretty hideous with its swirling blend of black, blues, and tinges of sickly yellow. Grief is hard. Really hard. And you can’t put the cap back on when you want to, like you can with a tube of paint.” (Geithner, 1).
Isn’t that great? She nails descriptions like these—descriptions capturing grief, middle school drama, and everything else Corinna is going through—from the point of view of an eighth grader who writes and has this sort of vision.
Even though this is a story of grief, it is also a story of hope and memory preservation, of family and of teenage hormones, silly dogs, and growing up. The jacket describes If Only as “part heartbreaking, part funny, and boundlessly hopeful.” I would agree. There are a few things that this book is not. It’s not a romance novel (although there is a crush involved), it’s not a fantasy adventure, and it’s not a dystopian novel. What it is is a realistic look at a teenager navigating her way through middle school (including fragile friendships) while also figuring out how to grieve her mom and find a way to live with that hole in her life. It’s something I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t lost someone close to them—and anyone who has. Because this book gives everyone Corinna as someone to relate to for that situation, no matter which side of it readers fall, and she tells it like it is.
This is Carole Geithner’s first novel, but she draws on her experience from years of working as a counselor for both children and adults to take her readers on Corinna’s journey. Her ability to write in a middle school voice while still getting at the heart of bigger issues is evident throughout the book as we journey with Corinna for the year following her mother’s death. Separated into short snippets of chapters categorized under appropriate seasons, Geithner’s writing made me think about what it would be like to lose a parent, the importance of the emotional support teachers can provide, and how often teens really just need adults to be patient.
The writing itself is just the right mix of poetic and realistic. The book begins:
“If seasons were tubes of paint, last fall would have been deep, dark black. Winter was also dark, but more like a foggy gray with lots of huge black blobs mixed in. Spring had some blue, but blue comes in lots of shades, from almost blackish blue to bright sky blue. And then there was summer. Summer had more colors than the other seasons, with hints of purples, but like one of my many soccer bruises, it could look pretty hideous with its swirling blend of black, blues, and tinges of sickly yellow. Grief is hard. Really hard. And you can’t put the cap back on when you want to, like you can with a tube of paint.” (Geithner, 1).
Isn’t that great? She nails descriptions like these—descriptions capturing grief, middle school drama, and everything else Corinna is going through—from the point of view of an eighth grader who writes and has this sort of vision.
Even though this is a story of grief, it is also a story of hope and memory preservation, of family and of teenage hormones, silly dogs, and growing up. The jacket describes If Only as “part heartbreaking, part funny, and boundlessly hopeful.” I would agree. There are a few things that this book is not. It’s not a romance novel (although there is a crush involved), it’s not a fantasy adventure, and it’s not a dystopian novel. What it is is a realistic look at a teenager navigating her way through middle school (including fragile friendships) while also figuring out how to grieve her mom and find a way to live with that hole in her life. It’s something I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t lost someone close to them—and anyone who has. Because this book gives everyone Corinna as someone to relate to for that situation, no matter which side of it readers fall, and she tells it like it is.
June 6, 2017
If Only is an extremely moving, beautiful read about 13-year-old Corinna’s first year after losing her mom to cancer. Corinna as a character grabs you from the beginning as her voice and situation are both realistic and heart-wrenching. As well as coping with her own grief, she has to help her dad adjust and start eighth grade without her mom around.
Corinna faces the practical adjustment to situations like needing to shop for clothes and having no mom to notice, missing dentist appointments, running out of food at home because dad forgot to go grocery shopping. She also faces the emotional adjustment of talking (or not) to her friends about the loss of her mom, wanting to move on but not wanting to forget, worrying that her dad may also die and leave her an orphan, etc.
Because her friends find it so difficult to understand what she is going through, Corinna joins a support group at her school put together by the guidance counselor. The other kids involved also lost a parent—most to disease, but one to suicide. Their ability to talk with each other about what they miss most, what they wish they had said to their parent, what other kids don’t understand helps Corinna to deal with how she feels without getting stuck in anger or resentment. She begins to create a memory quilt, stitching together pieces of her mom’s clothing in order to keep part of her mom with her.
While working on the memory quilt, Corinna discovers her mom’s diary which reveals that her mom was conceived with the help of a sperm donor. While this information is reduced to one scene towards the end that is relatively unnecessary to the plot, this situation may give many parents pause in unconditionally recommending this book to children. Other situations that parents should know in order to recommend to the appropriate age are a few references to periods and bra-shopping as Corinna must face this part of growing up without a female figure in her life.
In a very realistic tone, If Only provides real insights into the devastation and sadness caused by the loss of a parent. Tracing the emotional arch of Corinna’s grief and adjustment, If Only shows how a young girl comes to terms with missing the most important person in her life.
Reviewed for www.goodreadingguide.com
Corinna faces the practical adjustment to situations like needing to shop for clothes and having no mom to notice, missing dentist appointments, running out of food at home because dad forgot to go grocery shopping. She also faces the emotional adjustment of talking (or not) to her friends about the loss of her mom, wanting to move on but not wanting to forget, worrying that her dad may also die and leave her an orphan, etc.
Because her friends find it so difficult to understand what she is going through, Corinna joins a support group at her school put together by the guidance counselor. The other kids involved also lost a parent—most to disease, but one to suicide. Their ability to talk with each other about what they miss most, what they wish they had said to their parent, what other kids don’t understand helps Corinna to deal with how she feels without getting stuck in anger or resentment. She begins to create a memory quilt, stitching together pieces of her mom’s clothing in order to keep part of her mom with her.
While working on the memory quilt, Corinna discovers her mom’s diary which reveals that her mom was conceived with the help of a sperm donor. While this information is reduced to one scene towards the end that is relatively unnecessary to the plot, this situation may give many parents pause in unconditionally recommending this book to children. Other situations that parents should know in order to recommend to the appropriate age are a few references to periods and bra-shopping as Corinna must face this part of growing up without a female figure in her life.
In a very realistic tone, If Only provides real insights into the devastation and sadness caused by the loss of a parent. Tracing the emotional arch of Corinna’s grief and adjustment, If Only shows how a young girl comes to terms with missing the most important person in her life.
Reviewed for www.goodreadingguide.com
June 8, 2012
If Only is one of those books that's hard to read and good to read all at the same time.
Corinna is 13 and has just lost her mother to cancer. Going back to school she wonders how she will make it through the days. School brings constant reminders of her loss - acknowledgements from teachers and counselors, other kids talking about their mothers, permission slips 'to be signed by your mother'. Then there are the friends that don't mention it and the ones that do.
While some of the content a reader might intuit, even if they haven't lost someone close to them. Other points are new and welcome. I'd never considered how the roles in a family are thrown sideways when someone dies. Who will remember to take Corinna to the dentist now? Who's going to buy groceries? Or take her shopping when her jeans get too short? As Corinna goes through puberty, who will help her buy her first bra or discuss all those things usually reserved for the mother.
The book follows the one school year after the mother's passing and as it progresses we see that life goes on and there are hopeful scenes of the loss easing. Corinna develops a crush. She makes new friends through the high school grief group. Neighbors step in. Her dad is there for her, despite his own crippling grief.
There is a lot of Corinna's internal thoughts, with a few scenes thrown in. Be prepared for a book that almost reads like a journal.
Corinna is 13 and has just lost her mother to cancer. Going back to school she wonders how she will make it through the days. School brings constant reminders of her loss - acknowledgements from teachers and counselors, other kids talking about their mothers, permission slips 'to be signed by your mother'. Then there are the friends that don't mention it and the ones that do.
While some of the content a reader might intuit, even if they haven't lost someone close to them. Other points are new and welcome. I'd never considered how the roles in a family are thrown sideways when someone dies. Who will remember to take Corinna to the dentist now? Who's going to buy groceries? Or take her shopping when her jeans get too short? As Corinna goes through puberty, who will help her buy her first bra or discuss all those things usually reserved for the mother.
The book follows the one school year after the mother's passing and as it progresses we see that life goes on and there are hopeful scenes of the loss easing. Corinna develops a crush. She makes new friends through the high school grief group. Neighbors step in. Her dad is there for her, despite his own crippling grief.
There is a lot of Corinna's internal thoughts, with a few scenes thrown in. Be prepared for a book that almost reads like a journal.
April 21, 2015
I really liked this book because, at first i was thinking i was going to put it down and not read it, but then i kept reading and it kept getting good and i just couldn't put it down, i really liked how she explained that she missed her mom but, she had to move on from it. I think people that just lost someone should read this but also people that are trying to help someone go throw a bad time. A lot of Corinna's friends where there for her when she went throw all of her mom stuff, like one friend her mom took her to the mall to buy her cloths she needed, she was to embarrassed to ask her dad to buy stuff that only mothers would know to buy. What I liked about this book is that out of know where she started talking about how she liked a boy named Alex and she didn't know how to talk to him, because they where both shy. At the end of the book she said that he asked her to dance and then he gave her a big kiss I was like OMG, I couldn't stop reading when I got to that part it was to cute to stop. I was really happy when she said her and her dad where getting along again like when her mom was a life.
March 26, 2013
Loss is usually difficult, death of a beloved even more so, but when a daughter loses her mother, especially in youth, it is much more of a handicap than any other loss. Geithner delicately conveys this in the little losses that Corinna faces in her everyday life. While Corinna's story is one of subtle privileges and fortunate circumstances (her loving father, aunt and mother's best friend make great efforts, her best friend's mom is sympathetic, they seem financially unaffected by the death, etc.) the emotional journey feels universal and easily relatable. Being somewhat of a collector of books dealing with motherloss, I am eager to add this title to my collection after having found it quite on accident at the local library. It is accessible for the 10 - 15 year old and a recommended read for anyone youth who has lost a parent or has a friend who has lost a parent. I would also really encourage grieve counselors to recommend this book to surviving parents, as it may help them find ways to reconnect to their grieving child and understand their own grieving.
December 28, 2014
I began reading this book when my mom brought it home from work one day where she had met the author. She told me that the author had lost her mom as a kid just like the girl in her book, and that a main purpose of the book was to help people understand what the experience can be like for a girl that age. I thought that was a great thing to write about because so many people struggle with how to act or what to say to someone that is going through that, so I began with a positive outlook on the book. The book proved to be a interesting story that allowed readers to look through a 13 year old girl's eyes while she navigated eighth grade after losing her mother to cancer over the summer. The reader learns what people say that bothers her, what they say that makes her feel supported and safe, and what she does to help her make it through the year. Overall, I think this is a great book that really anyone could benefit from reading. Its so important to learn to see things from other people's perspectives and become more understanding of what other people go through.
March 9, 2017
Corinna's mom dies at in the summer. This is the story of Corinna's first year struggling with her aching loss without her mom. Corinna is strong, angry and sad, yet but is full of life and attitude. She hates that adults and peers are clueless about how to deal with her loss, but she eventually finds supportive characters, including an aunt, a teacher, and the kids in the school's "death group."
She decides to retrace her moms steps by going on an hilarious trip to Japan with her father. She learns many things about her mom and by the time she goes to start high school she is ready for anything.
She decides to retrace her moms steps by going on an hilarious trip to Japan with her father. She learns many things about her mom and by the time she goes to start high school she is ready for anything.
Want to read
September 10, 2012i think this book might have more into it and i would like to read it.
Carole Geithner’s debut novel, IF ONLY, follows 13-year-old Corinna as she deals with the heartbreak of losing her mother to cancer. Despite being alienated from her peers, including her best friend, she gradually finds support and manages to get through eighth grade --- while finding out some deep secrets about her mother along the way. In this interview, conducted by reviewer Sarah Rachel Egelman, Geithner shares her inspiration for writing the book and sheds some light on her protagonist. She also touches on her experience as a social worker and mother, talks about writing from a teenage perspective, and gives a glimpse into what she’s working on next.
(http://www.kidsreads.com/authors)
Carole Geithner’s debut novel, IF ONLY, follows 13-year-old Corinna as she deals with the heartbreak of losing her mother to cancer. Despite being alienated from her peers, including her best friend, she gradually finds support and manages to get through eighth grade --- while finding out some deep secrets about her mother along the way. In this interview, conducted by reviewer Sarah Rachel Egelman, Geithner shares her inspiration for writing the book and sheds some light on her protagonist. She also touches on her experience as a social worker and mother, talks about writing from a teenage perspective, and gives a glimpse into what she’s working on next.
(http://www.kidsreads.com/authors)
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February 27, 2015Carole Geithner really embraces the Character Corinna. She loses her mother at a very young age, the summer before eighth grade. She can't talk about how she feels because her dad is hard to Communicate with. She had a hard time at the funeral and just want to turn around go home. And she can't talk to her best friend about it because they had gotten into a fight. To get all her feelings out is when she goes to soccer practice Her friends and dad try to help but don't know what to say. I would Recommend this book to people who has lost someone very important or if you love sad stories and don't like to put the book down.
July 30, 2016
Corinna's mom has just died of cancer. Went in for the surgery and three months later, gone.
Corinna and her dad are reeling. Corinna narrates her school year as she deals with the challenges of being the kid whose mom died. There are a lot of great bits in here about grieving and coping with the overwhelming emotions of loss and alienation.
I think it would be a great fifth, sixth, seventh grade classroom read or read aloud.
I wouldn't hand it to a grieving kid, but I might leave it laying around.
Corinna and her dad are reeling. Corinna narrates her school year as she deals with the challenges of being the kid whose mom died. There are a lot of great bits in here about grieving and coping with the overwhelming emotions of loss and alienation.
I think it would be a great fifth, sixth, seventh grade classroom read or read aloud.
I wouldn't hand it to a grieving kid, but I might leave it laying around.
April 12, 2012
The story of a girl who's mother has died and how she navigates through school, crushes, her father's grief and maintaining friendships, while figuring out how to deal with her own grief.
This book is good on its own but would be a great book for kids who have friends who've lost someone. Kids (well grown ups too actually) often don't know what to do or say when someone they know is grieving. This book provides a very well done perspective of someone who is grieving and things that you can do that help and, just as importantly, things NOT to say or do.
This book is good on its own but would be a great book for kids who have friends who've lost someone. Kids (well grown ups too actually) often don't know what to do or say when someone they know is grieving. This book provides a very well done perspective of someone who is grieving and things that you can do that help and, just as importantly, things NOT to say or do.
February 5, 2015
When Corinna Burdets mom dies it starts to get to her. When she tells her friends, Jocilyn tells everyone. The teachers are the ones who really don't understand but when she joins a group to help her it helps just a tiny bit. When she finds out a little bit about a teachers who had someone die in her family (not going to say who) Corinna gets a sence that it gets easier a little bit at a time. When Corinna and her dad go to Japan Corinna relizes that when she moves on to 9th grade it will get easier.
May 27, 2015
Corinna loses her mother to cancer right before she starts eighth grade. She has even lost one of her best friends a little. The only thing that helps is the grief group with some students from her school who have had parents die. Her dad and her must fight through it and figure out some way to make life work.
I gave this book five stars because it caused me to be emotional and be really grateful for what I have. It also caused me to be more thoughtful about other people and has caused me to think about what they've been through.
I gave this book five stars because it caused me to be emotional and be really grateful for what I have. It also caused me to be more thoughtful about other people and has caused me to think about what they've been through.
June 19, 2012
this book was AWESOME!! you can really understand how hard it is for people with out a parent. that the pain of it does not go away. but i loved that it wasn't just a all sad book and that there where some part where it was funny and that the main character has a crush so that makes her seem more real
September 30, 2012
Geithner's writing is remarkable. She does a wonderful job depicting the young adolescent and how one deals with the death of a parent. It was a hard read though so rather than devouring this book as I do most books, I read it at a slower pace. Geithner shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel even when it doesn't feel like there will be.
May 22, 2015
I think this book is awesome, I think it's very sad, and it makes me feel bad but I can't stop reading it because it's such a good story. This book shows me how I can help people when they have bad experiences. I really like how after a time they get along again and I hope this never happens to me.
September 18, 2016
I love this book! It's one of my favorites, in my opinion I get to feel Corinna's grief and feelings and I understand her. The way the author wrote it, really helps me understand Corinna's feelings and how hard it is for her to deal with the loss of her mother.
September 22, 2012
Very repetitive plus the main character was supposed to be in eighth grade I felt like she was in first
June 17, 2012
It was ok, but just seemed to drag on. "I miss my mom, I miss my mom, I miss my mom." It was sweet at first, but got kinda old.
January 3, 2024
This books got me into not just reading but exploring books that were out of my comfort zone. If only is an incredible story about a young girl coping with the loss of her mother. With the beautiful writing style and personality of the main character, it made me feel so much more connected to her and her life, also giving me a bigger appreciation to this book due to me reading it at the same age she is in the story. I feel like this book captured something a movie could not, with most of the book being written in internal dialogue and being the reader being brought through this struggling girls day to day life.
100% recommend it if you are undergoing the same traumas or if you are a teenage girl because this books does a great job at finding ways to relate to most things people have gone through.
100% recommend it if you are undergoing the same traumas or if you are a teenage girl because this books does a great job at finding ways to relate to most things people have gone through.
October 3, 2017
This book shows a great way to show Corinna's perspective and how she tries her best to let go of the past. Corinna deals with school problems while she has her own bigger problems at home. She also tries to reach out to her friends. But she feels like they can not feel the way she feels. Corinna soon realizes that her family is trying to comfort her, and how shes not the only person that misses Sophia. My favorite part in this book is when Corinna finds a friend she can relate to, she can now have a friend that understands her. As the reader I find it justifying, that she can finally can talk to someone that can understand.
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