Captain's Day: A Golf Causerie

by Terry Ravenscroft

At Sunnymere Golf Club meticulous plans put in place by club captain Henry Fridlington ought to have guaranteed that his Captain’s Day would be the best day in his life. However Henry has recently enforced a ‘no swearing on the golf course’ policy, a policy which has not gone down at all well with the membership - and a policy which is largely instrumental in ensuring that far from being the best day in his life his Captain’s Day quickly turns into the very worst day of his life. Of course the self-important behaviour of Henry himself doesn’t help matters. Neither does the arrival of the fire brigade on the golf course, the arrival of the police and the arrival of a twenty feet high pile of manure on the eighteenth green. But even without these unwanted distractions the two naked golfers charging about the course, one of them fuelled by drugs, the other fuelled by the desire to escape from the cuckolded fellow golfer chasing him, might have been enough to make Henry wish he’d never heard of the game of golf. Not to mention the mayhem caused by dance DJ Daddy Rhythm and his 120 decibel disco. Nor what the Lady Captain was getting up to with Henry’s father-in-law and two of his friends when Henry called in with his friend the Lord Mayor at the hospitality tent. Captain’s Day will make non-golfers wonder why otherwise sane people take up the game and those who have taken up the game wish they had taken up something less fraught with danger, such as formation hang-gliding. Just one of many 5 star Amazon Reviews - “This is a very funny book. It will be enjoyed by golfers and non -golfers alike. In fact if Captain’s Day was like this in real life, lots more would take up the game. Refreshingly non PC with events that only the author could ever think of. Great fun and I doubt you have ever read anything like it before.” Cornishblue. Captain's Day contains some sex scenes and strong language.

Genres: Humor

217 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 9, 2010

About the author

The day after I threw in my mundane factory job to become a television comedy scriptwriter I was involved in a car accident which left me unable to turn my head. Since then I have never looked back.
Before they took me away I wrote BBC television comedy scripts for Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Alas Smith and Jones, Not the Nine O’Clock News, Ken Dodd, Roy Hudd, and several others. I also wrote the award-winning BBC radio series Star Terk Two.
I started writing books when I retired from scriptwriting in 1995. Up to now I have written sixteen, all of them humour.
Born in New Mills, Derbyshire, England in 1938, I still live there with my wife Delma and my mistress Divine Bottom (in my dreams).

My book Stairlift to Heaven is an Amazon Countdown Deal at just 99cents from April 5 to April 12.
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Reviews

[Cockneylen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The funniest book I've read in years. Some of it is schoolboy humour, but I found it absolutely hilarious, and it had me crying with laughter in a couple of places. Might help a bit if you are a golfer, but still eminently readable by those who don't play or follow the sport. Brilliant, loved it.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really not a golfer or fan of golfing at all, I don't know the difference between a putter or an iron - in fact my mother summed it up when Chris de Burgh was being "done" on This Is Your Life, and he was asked to sing a song he had composed about golf. My mother immediately switched sides saying "I don't know what is more boring, golf or listening to Chris de Burgh singing about golf". Anyway, I decided to read this because I do enjoy Terry Ravenscroft's books - I love the characters he creates, as well as his sense of humour - and I wasn't disappointed with this. At times it was almost like a "Carry on to the 18th Hole" type of read, very funny and definitely not PC or for the easily shocked. Once again, some excellent characters and brilliant comic writing. The story starts quite gently at first but builds up to a totally farcical climax, in more ways than one. In fact I was half expecting Benny Hill and his bevy of bikini clad women to run round the course at the end! Highly amusing and nice and easy to ready.

My only whinge is that there were an awful lot of characters to keep track of, more and more being introduced all the time as a different set of three golfers took to the first tee, but on the whole it was a very good read and I look forward to reading more of Terry's books which I have already downloaded to the Kindle.

[Jeremy Poole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review of Captain’s day by Terry Ravenscroft
3 stars
Think of Captains Day as a cross between Blott on the Landscape and The Good life all based on a golf course.
The laughs come thick and fast and I did truly laugh at the lively and colorful characters. The reason it’s not got more stars is that I found the laughter rather too slapstick and set up.
If you liked the Good Life and many did, then you’ll like this.
Jeremy Poole
http://www.jeremypoole.net/blog.html

[Carl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found in the forward: Better than sex. Lee Westwood .... Not better than sex. Tiger Woods

I tend to agree with the latter.

A lighthearted golf tale that starts off odd and gets odder as it progresses. Colorful characters. Light reading, British humorist author.

[Michelle Domangue · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book from the GoodReads giveaway. I was hoping for it to be funnier than what it was. I found a lot of it nonsensical in its happenings. It was a decent read though.

[Anne Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

It cheered me up and at times mad me laugh out loud. It's silly but really good fun