What do you think?
Rate this book
When Katie Wakes: A Memoir
Bestselling author Connie May Fowler tells her own extraordinary story for the first time–the harrowing years of her childhood followed by the abusive relationship she endured as a young woman–and how the unconditional love of her dog helped her escape her physical and emotional bonds.
Before Women Had Wings , Connie May Fowler’s award-winning and bestselling fictional account of domestic abuse, touched thousands. In this piercing memoir, Fowler chronicles the emotional battery and physical abuse that marked her own passage to adulthood. She draws a searing portrait of growing up with her manipulative and needy mother, a woman unable to give the love and comfort every child has a right to expect.
And then, as a young woman, Fowler found herself involved with a man whose behavior disturbingly echoed her mother’s. The man she lived with alternately displayed a desperate need for her or rejected her as if she were worse than useless. With heart-wrenching candor, Fowler records the abuse she suffered at his hands, from his constant attempts to undermine her self- confidence to his acts of brutal physical violence.
The unconditional love Fowler longed for finally came–in the shape of an adoring Labrador puppy named Kateland. With Katie at her side, she was able to withstand her mistreatment and the crushing weight of her childhood and, miraculously, managed to create a small refuge from the horrors that surrounded her. This is the story of her decision to end the years of mistreatment and even to open her life to a new, gentle man, whose love and understanding helped to transform her.
Well known for her fiction and her work with victims of domestic abuse, Fowler now offers a strong helping hand to women everywhere in this startling, revealing, and ultimately inspiring memoir.
Before Women Had Wings , Connie May Fowler’s award-winning and bestselling fictional account of domestic abuse, touched thousands. In this piercing memoir, Fowler chronicles the emotional battery and physical abuse that marked her own passage to adulthood. She draws a searing portrait of growing up with her manipulative and needy mother, a woman unable to give the love and comfort every child has a right to expect.
And then, as a young woman, Fowler found herself involved with a man whose behavior disturbingly echoed her mother’s. The man she lived with alternately displayed a desperate need for her or rejected her as if she were worse than useless. With heart-wrenching candor, Fowler records the abuse she suffered at his hands, from his constant attempts to undermine her self- confidence to his acts of brutal physical violence.
The unconditional love Fowler longed for finally came–in the shape of an adoring Labrador puppy named Kateland. With Katie at her side, she was able to withstand her mistreatment and the crushing weight of her childhood and, miraculously, managed to create a small refuge from the horrors that surrounded her. This is the story of her decision to end the years of mistreatment and even to open her life to a new, gentle man, whose love and understanding helped to transform her.
Well known for her fiction and her work with victims of domestic abuse, Fowler now offers a strong helping hand to women everywhere in this startling, revealing, and ultimately inspiring memoir.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2002
3 people are currently reading
583 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
May 23, 2025
I have been a fan of Connie May Fowler since reading Before Women Had Wings maybe twenty years ago. Blame it on Oprah Winfrey: this was one of the books Oprah mentioned that I decided to read. After reading Ms. Fowler's heart-wrenching book, I was instantly hooked on her writing.
In When Katie Wakes, Ms. Fowler tells her amazing story of breaking free from years of abuse with the unconditional love of her dog, Katie. While Before Women Had Wings was fiction dealing with domestic violence, When Katie Wakes is Fowler's memoir. In it, she chronicles the emotional and physical abuse she endured growing up. However, the majority of the book deals with the abusive relationship with a man thirty years her senior and how she managed to escape.
Early on in the book, she adopts Katie, a wonderful dog who, as dogs are known to do, gives unconditional love. It is this love that eventually gives Connie the strength to leave.
Many who read this memoir might be tempted to ask "What did she (Ms. Fowler) do to warrant this abuse? Why didn't she just leave?" Both are the wrong questions, no matter who is being abused, the age of the abused and abuser, the gender(s) of those involved, etc. The first question needs to be replaced with "Why did he/she abuse him/her?" The second question has many answers: financial, emotional, family situation, lack of services (including shelters), as well as a number of reasons. Rather than blaming the victim, we should marvel at the courage it takes for the victim to leave.
Courage is what Connie May Fowler eventually shows in this stunning memoir. While Katie's unconditional love helps her gather her courage, Ms. Fowler was also fortunate to have someone who, near the end, gave her hope. Between the two, Ms. Fowler was able to fully gather the strength and courage to escape.
This memoir is a must-read for anyone who wants a reason to cheer someone discovering her bravery.
In When Katie Wakes, Ms. Fowler tells her amazing story of breaking free from years of abuse with the unconditional love of her dog, Katie. While Before Women Had Wings was fiction dealing with domestic violence, When Katie Wakes is Fowler's memoir. In it, she chronicles the emotional and physical abuse she endured growing up. However, the majority of the book deals with the abusive relationship with a man thirty years her senior and how she managed to escape.
Early on in the book, she adopts Katie, a wonderful dog who, as dogs are known to do, gives unconditional love. It is this love that eventually gives Connie the strength to leave.
Many who read this memoir might be tempted to ask "What did she (Ms. Fowler) do to warrant this abuse? Why didn't she just leave?" Both are the wrong questions, no matter who is being abused, the age of the abused and abuser, the gender(s) of those involved, etc. The first question needs to be replaced with "Why did he/she abuse him/her?" The second question has many answers: financial, emotional, family situation, lack of services (including shelters), as well as a number of reasons. Rather than blaming the victim, we should marvel at the courage it takes for the victim to leave.
Courage is what Connie May Fowler eventually shows in this stunning memoir. While Katie's unconditional love helps her gather her courage, Ms. Fowler was also fortunate to have someone who, near the end, gave her hope. Between the two, Ms. Fowler was able to fully gather the strength and courage to escape.
This memoir is a must-read for anyone who wants a reason to cheer someone discovering her bravery.
November 9, 2012
This gifted author is the survivor of a horrendously abusive childhood that continued into young adulthood. A testament to the perseverance of the will to survive, and to eventually escape. Her personal background gives new meaning to "Before Women Had Wings". This was a deeply moving profound book which strikes resonance with victim/survivors of alcoholic, abusive, and violent pasts. ~♥toni~
April 4, 2009
Anytime you read a memoir about abuse, it is a sad, heartbreaking and deeply emotionally charged study of the pain and anguish another person has suffered. Connie May Fowler is a courageous survivor of alcoholism and domestic violence just as her own mother and grandmother before her experienced. Despite her intelligence, education and experiences from the past, she seemingly became involved with a man who was physically and mentally abusive toward her.
Trapped in a vicious, controlling, cruel, and brutal relationship Ms. Fowler manages to rise up out of the muck and mire of the violence and maltreatment she endured, after adopting a dog she names Kateland. Together, Connie and Kateland forge a bond of trust, unconditional love and loyalty which allows her to rise above her fear and regain her life.
What we can learn from this beautifully written memoir is that it’s never too late to start-over, there is always hope and optimism. And finally, the old adage that: “Dogs are a man’s best friend” speaks volumes to the truthfulness of this very wise saying!
At only 271 pages, I was able to read this in a few hours after sitting up all night with insomnia! But believe me once you begin reading you’ll be forcing yourself into a sleepless state as you won’t want to stop until you've turned the last page.
Trapped in a vicious, controlling, cruel, and brutal relationship Ms. Fowler manages to rise up out of the muck and mire of the violence and maltreatment she endured, after adopting a dog she names Kateland. Together, Connie and Kateland forge a bond of trust, unconditional love and loyalty which allows her to rise above her fear and regain her life.
What we can learn from this beautifully written memoir is that it’s never too late to start-over, there is always hope and optimism. And finally, the old adage that: “Dogs are a man’s best friend” speaks volumes to the truthfulness of this very wise saying!
At only 271 pages, I was able to read this in a few hours after sitting up all night with insomnia! But believe me once you begin reading you’ll be forcing yourself into a sleepless state as you won’t want to stop until you've turned the last page.
November 28, 2010
What an engrossing read! Once I started, I could hardly put it down. May Fowler's story is absolutely heartbreaking.
Abused first by her mother and then by a man thirty years her senior, May Fowler is trapped but struggling to find her way out. Her father abused her mother, her grandfather abused her grandmother, and on back for several generations. After May Fowler's father dies, her mother turns on her as well as her two siblings. As a mid-20 year old, she finds herself again being abused by a revolting "boyfriend". The abuse she suffered is horrific; that someone could treat another human being that way and live with it... I just can't comprehend it. Nothing terribly graphic was portrayed, and I can't help but wonder if Connie doesn't want to burden her reader or if she simply escaped to her "white space" and honestly doesn't remember it herself.
The fact that the abuse continued from mother to boyfriend is agonizing and the similarities between the two are downright eerie. Connie's saving grace through it all, though, was her dog, Katie. Thankfully, Katie appears to have made it through unscathed. Connie herself finally manages to escape as well though how she can even function normally is a testament to her personal strength. This book is Connie's frank, heart-rending story of the abuses she suffered and why sometimes you can't "just leave already".
Abused first by her mother and then by a man thirty years her senior, May Fowler is trapped but struggling to find her way out. Her father abused her mother, her grandfather abused her grandmother, and on back for several generations. After May Fowler's father dies, her mother turns on her as well as her two siblings. As a mid-20 year old, she finds herself again being abused by a revolting "boyfriend". The abuse she suffered is horrific; that someone could treat another human being that way and live with it... I just can't comprehend it. Nothing terribly graphic was portrayed, and I can't help but wonder if Connie doesn't want to burden her reader or if she simply escaped to her "white space" and honestly doesn't remember it herself.
The fact that the abuse continued from mother to boyfriend is agonizing and the similarities between the two are downright eerie. Connie's saving grace through it all, though, was her dog, Katie. Thankfully, Katie appears to have made it through unscathed. Connie herself finally manages to escape as well though how she can even function normally is a testament to her personal strength. This book is Connie's frank, heart-rending story of the abuses she suffered and why sometimes you can't "just leave already".
September 29, 2007
This is a very sad book, but it has a happy ending. It is about the author, Connie May Fowler, and what happened to her as a child as she was abused by her mother and then how she went into an abusive relationship with a man that turned out to be very much like her mother was. Both were alcoholics, both very mean in their abuse both physical and verbal.
The book is also about Katie, Connie's black Lab, who helps her to survive her abuse from the boyfriend.
The happy ending is where Connie does finally get out of the relationship she's been under for many years, and has found a man that loves her. They eventually marry and live happily together with Katie and a number of other dogs.
I cried and at times had to put the book away and not read for a few days it was so intense. But I cheered Connie on when she was fleeing for her life with Katie, and then when she went back for her belongings with the man she'd fallen in love with.
The book shows how strong you need to be, and how strong Connie was, to get out of this kind of situation and it also showed how a loyal pet, like Katie, could be the rock that Connie needed to get through all of her abuse.
The book is also about Katie, Connie's black Lab, who helps her to survive her abuse from the boyfriend.
The happy ending is where Connie does finally get out of the relationship she's been under for many years, and has found a man that loves her. They eventually marry and live happily together with Katie and a number of other dogs.
I cried and at times had to put the book away and not read for a few days it was so intense. But I cheered Connie on when she was fleeing for her life with Katie, and then when she went back for her belongings with the man she'd fallen in love with.
The book shows how strong you need to be, and how strong Connie was, to get out of this kind of situation and it also showed how a loyal pet, like Katie, could be the rock that Connie needed to get through all of her abuse.
April 14, 2011
I feel like a monster, but I didn't like the woman telling this story. I mean, maybe that was the POINT. A woman who stays in a terribly abusive relationship, raised around abusive people, she doesn't like herself, so why would I? I just became so grinding, so quickly. Him treating her horridly and her taking it. Which was is likely a very truthful telling of what it's like to have an abusive boyfriend, but that doesn't make it rewarding to read.
A side note, I did some fevered research to identify her unnamed abuser. As best I can tell, his name was John Eastman. This is his obituary.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/tbo/...
A side note, I did some fevered research to identify her unnamed abuser. As best I can tell, his name was John Eastman. This is his obituary.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/tbo/...
January 14, 2015
Really well-written memoir of childhood abuse followed by an abusive relationship. It helped the reader understand why woman are so cowed by hurtful words that they feel unable to leave. But with the unconditional love of her beloved lab, Katie, Connie Fowler eventually was able to rebuild her life.
I would love to know what became of her aging abuser, who she financially supported.
I would love to know what became of her aging abuser, who she financially supported.
Read
June 25, 2007Sad and disturbing account of a woman's abusive childhood and relationship. Strong language
January 13, 2009
Did not really get hooked like I did with her first book I read...Before Women Had Wings.
July 16, 2010
A hard book to get through due to the topic of physical and emotional abuse, but inspiring. Loved how the dog katie helped Connie make it though her horrific relationship.
October 28, 2011
This book is really touching. I really liked the dog.
November 22, 2017
I couldn't finish it. It made me angry that she was so dysfunctional and co-dependent. I couldn't stand that she brought a dog into her awful situation.
May 15, 2017
This is an excellent memoir written by the author of Before Women had Wings and a long list of other books I love. In this book, Fowler describes both the horror of living with an abusive partner and the painstaking process of escape.
Because Fowler tells her story in present tense, and with unflinching honesty, the narrative takes on an immediacy that makes it hard to put down. I'm putting it in my top 10 list of books about domestic violence.
Because Fowler tells her story in present tense, and with unflinching honesty, the narrative takes on an immediacy that makes it hard to put down. I'm putting it in my top 10 list of books about domestic violence.
August 4, 2019
Every day that Katie woke, she wondered what situation she would be in every day. She didn't know if she would have to interject herself into a tough situation or hide on the bed under a blanket, maybe dig a hole and crawl into that hole to survive a situation and the life she was living. She didn't have a choice in her life. Although some people did, she did not.
She could only hope that some how, some day, things would get better and she could live in peace and harmony. Every human, deserves this as dose every dog.
I almost stopped reading this book but I felt I needed to know what happened to Katie because in my world, in no book, in no movie, not in life, dose any one fuck with the dog.
She could only hope that some how, some day, things would get better and she could live in peace and harmony. Every human, deserves this as dose every dog.
I almost stopped reading this book but I felt I needed to know what happened to Katie because in my world, in no book, in no movie, not in life, dose any one fuck with the dog.
October 11, 2022
After sitting on my shelves for literally years, I finally picked this up. And finished it in one sitting after working a full day. This is a beautiful and shocking memoir that also happens to take place in Tampa and St Pete. I feel so silly for not realizing that Connie May Fowler is a native Floridian and writer. And so so good. Highly recommend.
April 14, 2020
I stumbled across this book in a thrift shop and decided to pick it up. It wrecked me in the best possible way. I ended up loaning it to a friend and never got it back. I couldn't remember the name of the book for the longest time and then finally found it again. It is one of my favorites.
June 11, 2018
A heartrending, engaging, and brutally honest story of a woman's abuse - both as an adult and as a child. Painfully illustrates the power of the abuser over their victim and how difficult it is to break away from such a prison. Many women are never able to, or even if they do they are followed and haunted. It was uplifting that Connie was finally able to leave. And before this was able to adopt a dog who brought her much comfort, and I might add, relief from isolation many women in this situation face.
The writing overall was excellent and realistic, although at first I wasn't too sure about using the second person when referring to the brute - after awhile it seemed quite fitting. Although her story did have divisions, I would have preferred the organization of actual chapter breaks.
***3 stars: [I liked it but didn't "love" it.]
Update: Now I see she is married to a Bill Hinson. Wish I knew what happened to Mika Fowler, the man who So I guess this story didn't have that much of a happy ending after all. I hope she has found happiness with Mr. Hinson.
The writing overall was excellent and realistic, although at first I wasn't too sure about using the second person when referring to the brute - after awhile it seemed quite fitting. Although her story did have divisions, I would have preferred the organization of actual chapter breaks.
***3 stars: [I liked it but didn't "love" it.]
Update: Now I see she is married to a Bill Hinson. Wish I knew what happened to Mika Fowler, the man who So I guess this story didn't have that much of a happy ending after all. I hope she has found happiness with Mr. Hinson.
October 28, 2016
I read this book years ago but I never forgot it. Many people do not realize the impact an animal/pet can have on some people. This memoir is an example of how even at someones lowest a pet can help as the loyal companions they are, that amazing unconditional love they give is sometimes all that is needed to take the first steps towards a "better" life.
In my personal life I have memories that include some pretty special fur babies. My Blackie girl was my rock in my junior high years, as I settled into a new neighborhood, new school; how many of those days include my needing to get home to cuddle with her because that made everything be alright. I was 5 months pregnant when I lost her. Marriage and motherhood kept me busy and so when my husband introduced Capone to our 9, 7 and 3 year old children, I was not happy. I was too busy. But I was outvoted. Little did I know Capone (a rottie) would turn out to be my shadow and protector, watching over my children every instant for 10 years. My children were all teenagers when we said goodbye, still makes me tear up. He was there for some of the most special milestones in our lives, they will always be cherished memories. I know one day I will see my fur babies again.
This book is a great read, especially for animal lovers.
In my personal life I have memories that include some pretty special fur babies. My Blackie girl was my rock in my junior high years, as I settled into a new neighborhood, new school; how many of those days include my needing to get home to cuddle with her because that made everything be alright. I was 5 months pregnant when I lost her. Marriage and motherhood kept me busy and so when my husband introduced Capone to our 9, 7 and 3 year old children, I was not happy. I was too busy. But I was outvoted. Little did I know Capone (a rottie) would turn out to be my shadow and protector, watching over my children every instant for 10 years. My children were all teenagers when we said goodbye, still makes me tear up. He was there for some of the most special milestones in our lives, they will always be cherished memories. I know one day I will see my fur babies again.
This book is a great read, especially for animal lovers.
January 18, 2011
Connie Fowler is clearly a women with strength and humility. Real skill and talent are required to produce such a memoir. Due to birth and circumstance Connie has been deeply affected by other peoples short comings and been marked by both physical and emotional abuse. At times the reading is not pleasant but it is written in such a way that the reader can understand her choices, so it is not hard to turn the page.
A delightful aspect of her story is her relationship with her dog, very touching and believable. Especially if you have a strong bond with a dog yourself it rings true. I had not previously read any of her novels and was unaware of her work but I will most definitely be seeking out her work from now on.
A delightful aspect of her story is her relationship with her dog, very touching and believable. Especially if you have a strong bond with a dog yourself it rings true. I had not previously read any of her novels and was unaware of her work but I will most definitely be seeking out her work from now on.
March 19, 2009
I am a long time fan of Connie May Fowler's work and remember reading "Before Women Had Wings" in the late '90s, and the powerful effect it had on me. Connie grew up with alcoholics who physically and verbally abused her, like her mother and grandmother before her. She continues the cycle of violence when she lets an alcoholic and abusive man into her life. Despite Connie's intelligence and education, she cannot break the cycle until she adopts a dog who eventually gives her the courage to get out.
The story is sad and heart wrenching, Connie is courageous and resilient. This is a wonderful memoir and I highly recommend it. Next up for me is her novel "The Problem With Murmur Lee".
The story is sad and heart wrenching, Connie is courageous and resilient. This is a wonderful memoir and I highly recommend it. Next up for me is her novel "The Problem With Murmur Lee".
June 20, 2012
This was a touching and harrowing story of a young woman in an abusive relationship with a much older man. Her mother, grandmother and great grandmother also lived this way and she knows no other life. To witness her overcome her self hatred and make a better life for herself is inspiring. At the heart of her story is a dog who makes her stand up and protect herself. It is her memoir and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
February 26, 2008
I have not thought of this book in a very long time, but it is such a good memoir. It makes my eyes tear just thinking about it. It is about a woman who is in an incredibly abusive relationship and how her dog saved her life. I love dogs. Love, love, love them. I can see how someone could lean on a dog in a time of extreme pain. They are the most wonderful animals.
February 19, 2013
The book was good. I dont like the way the author writes. I lke the story and that she shared her life with others in the same situation. I understand her emotions and the the way she felt. I will never understand why she waited so long to do the right thing. I believe she had so many chances to do the right thing but did not.
August 10, 2013
This memoir by Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA instructor Fowler is one of the reasons I chose to attend the program. She does a masterful job of helping understand how the narrator can tolerate such a horrifyingly abusive relationship. There are still moments in that book that haunt me, two years after reading it.
July 14, 2007
Really poignant memoir - touching, sad, uplifting all at the same time. The story of an abused woman who left the violence. I had the opportunity to meet Connie May Fowler, and it is amazing to see her now - so full of life, it's hard to imagine she was ever in such an awful situation.
January 2, 2008
I really liked this book- it's hard enough having lived a life surrounded by alcoholics but reading about someone else with the same experience opens up a whole new perspective to it. I really enjoy her writing and confidence but I wish she'd taken a little more time to end this one!
October 6, 2012
This book was such an eye-opener for me. I was truly ignorant of why women chose to stay with their abusive partners. This book introduced me to a completely different perspective.
Very well written, I HIGHLY recommend this book.
Very well written, I HIGHLY recommend this book.
January 25, 2008
I'm big fan of this writer. She from the South and her words put me back there - in all the good and bad ways it touched me.
October 20, 2008
The author writes with such honesty about her life. It was an amazing book and a very easy read. I highly recommend it.
January 13, 2013
Stories of abuse are always sad & difficult. Connie was a strong woman & was eventually able to leave her abuser with her loving dog at her side.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews