Boundaries with Kids Participant's Guide: When to Say Yes, How to Say No

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Want to Paint a Happy Future for Your Children? Start Drawing the Line Today. Boundaries with Kids will help you: Recognize the boundary issues underlying child behavior problems Set boundaries and establish consequences with your kids Get out of the 'nagging' trap Stop controlling your kids---and instead help them develop self-control Apply the ten laws of boundaries to parenting Take six practical steps for implementing boundaries with your kids One of the most loving things you can do for your children is set firm boundaries with them. Boundaries with Kids will help you raise your kids to take responsibility for their own actions, attitudes, and emotions. In eight sessions, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you bring order to problematic circumstances and cultivate healthier ways of relating with your kids. This participant's guide will help you gain maximum benefits from the interactive format of Boundaries with Kids ZondervanGroupware. It's filled with pointed assessments, insights, questions for thought and discussion, and exercises and activities to help you connect principles with family-strengthening applications. As you set and maintain wise boundaries with your children, you'll instill character in them that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.

Genres: Parenting, Self Help, Family, Nonfiction, Christian, Education, Personal Development

164 pages, Paperback

Published January 28, 2003

About the author

Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.

Reviews

[Allina · Rating 3 out of 5]

It would have been much better if it was more geared towards single parents without as much help, but had some great ideas. I had to take a class that taught with this book, but it was not the book that should have been chosen for single parents.
I'm sure it would be much more beneficial to someone who isn't a single parent without the ability to have family help.

[Anna Mussmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

When people use the word “boundaries” in the context of relationships, the focus is usually on learning to say “no” to folks who are nosy/controlling/entitled. These authors, however, use the word in a broader way. They put a big emphasis on the individual’s need to take responsibility for his own choices and roles in life. You might say they want kids to have boundaries between their wills and their own human tendency to be lazy, passive, and selfish.

Their methodology is common sense: Be empathetic and loving but let kids experience the consequences of their own actions. A three-year-old might need to realize that abusing a toy means losing it, a ten-year-old that failing to begin a school project on time means getting a poor grade, or a teenager that procrastinating on chores results in staying home to work while others go have fun. Children benefit far more from this than they would from being routinely “rescued” by their parents; and their future bosses, spouses, and friends will benefit, too.

Having grown up in a highly functional home with parents who taught responsibility, none of this advice felt new to me; but it would be helpful for moms and dads who need help wrapping their heads around the entire concept that letting their children suffer (when appropriate) is a form of love. The general philosophy was somewhat in line with Stixrud and Johnson’s The Self-Driven Child, but this book is focused more on discipline and saying “no” when needed, whereas that one emphasizes sidestepping conflict by giving a child as much control over his own life as possible (to a degree I disagree with!).

I didn’t actually get all the way through this book before it went back to the library, but I’d recommend it to parents looking for a easy-to-read book that provides a sensible mental framework for approaching discipline and boundaries in the home. It's not perfect, but what parenting book is?

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite parenting book I’ve ever read. It doesn’t have long lists on how to be a better parent or the fool proof secret for having perfect kids. Lol. But it gets to the heart of the issue many families have and that would be CONNECTION and why exactly your child is not listening to you. And nine times out of ten, it’s because you’re lacking that authentic connection and honesty with your child. And I love the way the book really deals with the parents first - if you as a parent, as a human, don’t understand how to have boundaries or the essential need for them in YOUR life, how are you supposed to teach your child to uphold or respect boundaries? And that is really what it boils down to - children don’t respect what we ask because nine times out of ten they either haven’t seen us as adults respect other adults or even our own children, or they’ve seen us get walked all over by other adults and not ask for the boundaries we need, so our children think they can treat us no differently. Not that they necessarily think through this so thoroughly, but children learn so much more by observation and intuition than they do by what they hear. Wonderful book that was spot on in many many ways. Only thing I didn’t like was at the very end the author talked about single parents like they’re misfits or not able to give their children everything they need. Strongly disagreed with that. Every parent and family is in strong need of community and help, not just single parents. And there are many families with two parents that are terribly dysfunctional and many families with one parent that are healthy and beautiful.

[Andrea Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn’t the exact book I read. I couldn’t find it, but it is Boundaries with Kids by the same author, so I chose this. I loved this book, took notes and plan to use the tools to help build more boundaries with my kids to give them a successful future into adulthood. I love how the authors turned everything back to the Bible. They even quoted verses I already use with my kids!

[Ethan Jordt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned a lot from this book. There was more religion in here than I prefer, but all that means is I wasn't the target audience. Here are a few notes from my reading:

By giving a child only little freedom, they maintain being a child. Give them too much freedom and they may hurt themselves since they don't have the experience required to keep themselves safe

Sometimes the most loving parents, can end up with the most spoil and egotistical children. Sometimes it can be hard to parent cuz you're thinking about what you want to do in the next day or next hour or next week. But try and envision the person you want this child to be in 20 years. How would you foster that child to be a responsible loving human being

I know you love us, but in reality I'm not feeling loved by you. People who love each other don't treat each other this way

Feelings, attitudes, choices, talents, desires, thoughts, limits, values. These are all things that we are responsible for. These are all characteristics that are responsible person are in charge of. My feelings are my problem, my attitude is my problem. People want to hang out with people like this

You can live anyway you choose, as long as you take responsibility for your choices

When a child says they are bored and is looking towards you to find something for him to do. Your response can be, child you are responsible for your own fun

You can't control your child, but you can control your stance with your child

Your child will hate your boundaries. The role of the child in this situation is to test your resolve, with pouting anger etc. The role of the parent is to withstand this test of the child against your boundaries

Ask yourself a tough question. If I say no to my child, am I afraid I will lose the love I need from them? If yes, then you need to fulfill that need somewhere else. It is not healthy for the child, or yourself for you to depend on them like that

When setting a boundary, the consequence should be for the child. Not the parent. It's a parent is paying for the consequence then it's not teaching the child anything except that they actually don't get in trouble, and the parents still does the work

Reward children with more freedom when they demonstrate good responsibility. Tell them why they're getting more freedom, it's because they're doing such a good job. Emphasize with them if they aren't doing well and they have to miss out on something

Give the child freedom to choose, but consequences if they choose the non-mature or poor responsibility choice

The best chance for success for a child to turn into a mature adult is: Grace + truth + time. Give them the support, love but give them boundaries and tell the truth, and over time this will give the child the best chance for success

Having some negative consequences for not doing the minimum is important as this is similar to real life like not showing up to work on time you will be disciplined. This helps reduce entitlement

You can't always control your emotions, but you can control your behavior

When your child attempts to have power or intimidate others through anger. You can say, your rage does bother me, and it's a big deal, so until you can speak to me respectively, all privileges are suspended. The child may not believe you and try and test your boundaries again. If you are holding strong then the child may get angry about this boundary. But at some point the next stage may be grief and sadness about not having control over the situation or the person. Once the child realizes that they can't have power over others, it's important to let them know that they can influence others. You can say, I am open to hearing your suggestions or alternatives to my decision but only if you are respectful. After I have had time to think about what you said, you respect my decision once I've made it. You have to earn your right to be heard by your behavior, empathizing is important during this process. I may get angry or hurt during this process, but I am not going away. Even if I disagree with you or have to set limits with you.

I can't make you stop doing the behavior, but this is what i will do when it happens

Stay true to your limit/boundary, but empathize the whole time

The child either wants to change the limit, or make you feel the pain he's feeling. Try not to get frustrated or condemn, but to stay firm and The child either wants to change the limit, or make you feel the pain he's feeling. Try not to get frustrated or condemn, but to stay firm and emphasize

Universal laws of respect: don't hurt others, respect the "no" of others without punishing them, respect others limits/boundaries, appreciate the separateness of the other person, feel sad instead of mad when you don't get what you want.

Don't let the child struggles or discomfort or pain dictate your values. The struggles of a 13-year-old shouldn't decide and whether you make them do homework or not

I know living is hard, but I know you can do it.

Reactive behavior is first, but then it will eventually turn into proactive behavior. Reactive behavior means that the child is reacting to the environment around it without looking for internal cues of how to process boundaries or life

[Allyson Hayward · Rating 4 out of 5]

The only reason I'm giving it four stars instead of five is because it's a little outdated. I think the author should update it if possible.
Other than that it was good! I am definitely going to implement the things I learned into my parenting.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a lot of great insight, but some of their suggestions bring up other issues for the child. Most of the issues I have are with the phrasing of what they suggest the parent says to the child (and its not with every suggested phrase they give). But they also mention spanking as an option which doesn't follow current research. With those things said the book does bring to highlight many great things so it's worth a read. But ai suggest also reading other books by other therapist on this topic too.

Raise the Child with Doctrine or Guidelines so they can make choices within those guidelines. This will teach the child how to make good choices as an adult, bc they will have the doctrine/guidelines to guide them. They will have the confidence in themselves to make good decisions on their own.

Allow Natural Consequences in your relationship with your children and others.
When children don't like consequences, they will protest. Parent don't explain, defend, or Shane the situation. Instead keep the limit and empathize with how the child is feeling. (111)


They need separateness too
-Allow them age appropriate freedom and do not require them to be at your side at all times. A toddler freedom to explore a safe area.
-their room is an example of separateness. They should keep it clean and keep common rooms clean too. If they can't find something, don't rescue them.
-Time is another example of separateness. If you spend years nagging your children about getting ready for things, they will never learn time boundaries. Time limits are only real if you let them be real for the child. Do not nag. Do not remind too often. Make sure they can tell time, tell them what time things happen, and let them get ready on time. Let them solve their own problems of going to bed hungry, missing the bus, or not being ready on time for something they wanted to go to.
-Their choice of friends: talk to your child about their choice of friends.
How does Sammy make you feel?
Do you like being treated like that? I wouldn't want to be around someone who doesn't respect my opinions.
What is it you like about him? I usually don't like to be around people who always want their own way.
I have friends who have different values, too. Do you find it difficult to not be influenced by them? What do you do when they want you to do something you don't believe in?
Sometimes your children's choice if friends may be dangerous,and you have to act. But such choices mean that something more is going on. If a child is choosing hurtful people for friends, look for patterns of depression and discouragement or problems with passivity. If you see a pattern, seek professional help.

-chikdren need money to spend on their own things and when the money is gone, it's gone. Then empathize with the child.

-clothes and hairstyles should be a child's choice, unless these choices put the child in danger. Concentrate on more important things like values, skills, love, honesty,and treatment of others. Usually clothing and appearance say two things: "I belong to some groups" and "I am different from my parents and can make my own choices."

-your separateness from them: kids need to know that the universe doesn't revolve around them. Teach them that they can exist on their own.

Healthy People:
-dont hurt others
-respect the no of others without punishing them
-respect limits in general
-relish others' separateness
-feel sad instead of mad when you do not always get what you want

Teach your kids to do the right things for the right reason.
-i want to clean up after dinner, bc I love my family and I want to encourage my siblings to do the same thing
It doesn't mean that they'll enjoy the task

Love first, set limits second
It takes trial and error and lots of effort to find what losses and consequences matter to the child, and it takes lots of stamina to hold the line.
This fear of consequences should not be a fear of losing live. Your child needs to know you are constantly and consistently connected and emotionally there with them, no matter what the infraction. The child needs to understand that his problem is himself, not an enraged parent.

Our memories aren't like video cameras, our opinions, wishes and fears color our experiences. (129)

Children who internalize boundaries need to move beyond "this is right or wrong" to "this hurts others or god."...when they disobey, talk to them about the relational consequences. In other words, "it's not good to make fun of your overweight classmate" bc "how do you think he feels when kids you make fun of him?"...Complicant kids are fear based, not love based. They aren't free to choose who and how to love,as they are so driven by avoiding the loss of love it the pain of criticism. Help your child to freely choose and freely love. (133)

Don't undervalue any of the 3 motives for good behavior (child's concern about the pain of consequences for irresponsibility, the rights and wrongs of his behavior, and what pain his actions may cause for his friends and God)

Parent needs to be able to evaluate their child's pain.
Growth involves pain.
Not all pain produces growth.

The orthopedist told them that they were going to ruin me if they did things for me. They had to let me suffer through learning how to walk on crutches, steer the wheelchair, and explain to others what was wrong with me. His mom would have to call a friend and cry about it...learning self-sufficiency.

Four Rules for Evualying Pain
1:Don't let your child's pain control your action
-dont let the way youdecidewhatis right or not is by how the child feels when he is required to do something. When a parent puts down a boundary the child's natural reaction is to be upset.
-one of the most important aspects of child rearing: frustration is a key ingredient to growth. The child who is never frustrated never develops frustration tolerance.
- don't teach a child that they are entitled to always being happy; that all they have to do is cry about it.
-the child's protest does not define reality, or right from wrong. Something good may be occuring such as his coming to grips with reality for the first time.
Frustration and painful moments of discipline help a child learn to delay gratification.

2: keep your pain separate from your child's
She was identiting with her child's sadness from her more extreme childhood sad experiences

3: help your child see that lift isn't about avoiding pain, but about making good pain and ally
-we change when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. We do our chores when parents make not doing chores more painful than getting them done.
-life isn't about avoiding suffering. Life is about learning to suffering well. The child taught to avoid pin althougher will encounter much more pain in life than necessary. It is painful to have broken relationships bc you don't know how to respect others. (Never meet goals bc you aren't discipline, financial difficulties bc you can't control your spending). If we learn to lose what we want in the moment, to feel sad about not getting our way, and then to adapt to the reality demands of difficult situations, joy and success will follow. Parents who step in to rescue their children from suffering will be replaced later in life with other codependent people, drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, shopping, it other addictions. They have taught that frustration and adversity are not something to face and deal with.

4: Make sure the pain is the pain of maturing, not the pain of need or injury
-pain of frustration, pain of need or injury
Infants protest out of the pain of being hungry and alone more Ethan anything else. Frustration that leads to maturity should be much more in place when they are two years old. Make sure your little ones have their needs met (diaper change, bottle, blhig, overtired, angry, etc) before asking them to deal with frustration.

An older child misbehaves not only out of defiance or avoidance of reality, but also for some of these valid reasons:
-hurt feelings from parents and others
-anger over feelings of powerlessness in a relationship and not having enough control over oneself
-trauma, such as loss of a parent or abys the child may have suffered somewhere
-medicql and physical reasons
-phyfhiwtric problems , such as an t nation deficit diword r, depression or thought disorders
-a recent change in the structure of the family, the schedule, or lifestyle

Check myself as a parent:
-exercise too much control over your children's lives so that they have no power over or choice in their lives so that they have no power over or choice in their lives
-disciplining either anger and guilt instead of empathy and consequences
-not meeting their needs for love, attention, and time
-not affirming their successes but only commenting on their failures
-being too perfectionistic about their performance instead of being pleased with their efforts and with the general direction in which they are going

A boy would storm off when he missed a ball in a game and then come back later. It made the other kids suffle around to make the teams even and the boy was avoiding dealing with frustration. After it happened a few times the other kids got sick if it so he made a new rule: "I understand it's frustrating learning a new sport, but it makes it hard on the other kids when you leave. So if you leave a game, you can't come back to join that game. I hope this will help you hang in with us, bc we all like you and miss you."

Reactive boundaries: child needs to learn to talk to someone, fight back, negotiate, submit, be patient, or grieve. The child needs to learn this kind of problem solving to learn to become a mature adult.
Children need to figure out what they don't like.

Protective boundaries
-kids at soccer practice who have proactive boundaries, pay attention, make mistakes and learn from them, speak up if they don't like something or if they need something. A boy with reactive boundaries will get tired and tell that the coach is mean bc he is working them too hard. A boy with proactive boundaries will ask the coach for a break or some water.
Proactive boundaries go beyond problem identification to problem solving. Your child needs to know that I protesting, her has only identified the problem, not solved it. He should think about his response and choose the best one available.
He can state he doesn't like it, do what you ask, but he doesn't need to enjoy doing what you tell him. (155)

Proactive boundaries mean others can't control the child. Children who have reactive boundaries and who live in protest are still dependent on other people. .. children with proactive boundaries have an internal locus of control; that is, how they view life, their decisions and responses to the environment, are all dicate by their own internal values and realities. You can help your child attain this important aspects of mature boundaries. When he is in his reactive "protest mode", remember to validate his feelings yet still hold to your limit or consequence. Then say, "you know, the more you fight me, the less time you have for things you like to do. Then it will be time for bed. I'm willing to stop the argument if you are, then you can go play. What do you think?" If the child is t ready to stop, he thinks you don't mean what you say. Don't give in, and don't keep arguing. Stick to your guns. Eventually he should realize that as long as he is giving up all this time reactibg to you, you are in control of his precious time. (157)

Sensitive child is an easy mark. The sensitive child is often highly dependent on others reactions instead of his own values. He has an infantile wish for total closeness with all, with no separateness or conflict. If your child has this tendency, you need to help him use proactive boundaries to gain more internal control and free him from his misery.
Brittany was telling her mom, Jan, how her friends were being mean to her. Brittany didn't feel confident and able to take care of herself, as Jan was always there. Brittany had no internal resources to fall back on. She would feel unloved and helpless. She felt controlled by her friends. Jan explained to her daughter that she loved her and their time together. But that she didn't have more than 20mins for your problems. She reassured her daughter, "I want you to take responsibility for your own emotions. I know you can think for yourself and handle them." So make sure to tell me the most important things you want me to know (since I only have 20mins).
Proactive boundaries are concerned with motives such as responsibility, righteousness and love for others. We are in the business of restraining evil in himself and others. The child with proactive boundaries doesn't allow himself to be taken advantage of or harmed. With reactive boundaries diaries, you fight the friend who constantly bugs you. With proactive boundaries, you decide you don't need that kind of friend.

Skills of Proactive Boundaries
1. Pausing instead of reacting: when your child reacts instantly in protest, make him repeat the desired action several times, talking him through it each time, until he sees he doesn't have to react.. the child who angrily slams the door needs to see that he is cable of 20-30 soft closes, even when he is mad.

2. Observation: go over the incident, help him eee other realities besides his frustration

3. Perspective: she thinks her feelings (anger and rage) are ultimate truth. Help her look at her feelings as feelings. They will go away. They don't always show us absolute reality. Others'feelings are important too.

4. Problem Solving: help your child see other qlterbatives to solving his problem or getting his need met. "If Bobby won't play with you, how about trying Billy?"

5. Reality: Help your child compromise and negotiate results that aren't black and white. She needs to know that her needs won't get met perfectly, but good enough is good enough. She may not have the elad in the school play, but her part is a good part.

6. Initiative: your child needs to understand that until she is proactive with the problem, she will be forever reacting to the same problem, with no solution.

7. Other people: if you have done your best and don't know what to do,ask someone you trust.

Transform normal childhood envy into acceptance, gratitude, and contentment. This problem should be disappearing as a child grows in acceoting boundaries. (164)

Good mommy vs bad mommy
After a million of these experiences, the child gains a secure sense of the world's being "not perfect" in gratifing them all the time, but "good enough" in giving them what they need. They slowly give up the soil iwh fi the "all-good other" who is going to meet all their n eds perfectly and learn to love the one who both loves them and frustrates them. They learn that people are not perfect, but good enough.
Children need two things in this situation: gratification and frustration. Children who are never gratified are in a constant state of need and they will never feel grateful, bc they literally have not gotten enough.
Children who are never frustrated never understand that they are not the center of the universe.

To giving your child a balance sense of themselves and others, you must gratify n eds and some wants, and frustrating others. The 3 necessary to do this are giving, limiting, and containing. The most important gratification is love, connection and care. (Fear soothed,feelings understood, encouragement for the next step, they aren't traveling alone,their fears need reassurance)
If you have good limits and boundaries w, you will empathize the with your child longing, help him to olanto reach the goal,and encourage him.

When respect came before friendship, activity resulted. When friendship came before respect, passivity resulted. (178)

Teach the child to take action; not wait for someone else to take the first step for them. Active people don't attempt to do everything on their own. Children who are active have an ideal chance of learning to respond to boundaries correctly. Here are some benefits:
-lesrn from failures and consequences on how to behave appropriately
-she is responsible to work out his problems and needs
-develop a sense of control and mastery over his life
-depend on himself to take care of himself
-avoud situations and relationships that are dangerous
-
Relationships for comfort and assistance
-structure his love and emotions I a waythatkreps him connected to God and others in meaningful and productive ways

When a child disrespects a boundary it's the parents responsibility to set the limits and enforce the consequences in love. (180)

Children exhibit passivity:
-procrastication
-ignoring,
-lack if initiative and risk taking: your child avoids new experiences, such as meeting new friends or trying out a sport or artistic medium, and he stays in familiar activities and patterns.
-living in a fantasy world
-passuce defiance
-isolation
Passive kids aren't bad. They simply have a particular way if approaching life that prevents them from gaining autonomy, self control, or mastery. Kids have struggles in this area for several reasons (fear, inability to structure goals, clairvoyant expectations, conflict e aggression, laziness, entitlement, clinical issues)
Shyness: don't get in btw your child and his acquaintances, but be there before and after, so he can talk about the experience.
Conflict: some kids are actively involved when they everything is going ok, but become afraid and passive around anger or conflict. Don't promise them that they'll never feel pain. But do reassure them that, as far as you can help it, you won't let them be injured. Normalize conflict and pain. A friend took his daughter to karate for 3 months regardless of how she felt and then she could decide if she wanted to continue.
Afraid of Failure: normalize failure and tell them that they don't risk loss of love from you. You can fail in front of them and laugh at yourself.

Structure goals
They have a problem thinking through what steps to take to get what they want.

Clairvoyant expectations
A child feels he should t have to ask for what he needs, on the assumption that you should know before he asks.

Requiring Initiativr and problem solving
"I'm sorry, but that's your responsibility. I hope you solve your problem; it sounds difficult, but I'm pulling for you."

Encourage your child to have relationships
Benefits of relationships
-comfort in emotional pain
-feeling loved rather than alone or bad
-fuel for being assertive and being sustained through life
-information for solving problems
-structure for growth
Teach her that relationships only comes to those who actively ask.
"Sounds like

[Holly Richards · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a hard time deciding between 3 and 4 stars…so I guess a solid 3.5 which rounds to 4😅 The book definitely sticks to the title which I appreciated. A few dated or disagreeable statements to my personal opinion, but the valuable nuggets far outweighed those.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this!

[Kelly Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great book for someone like me! Although I didn’t like all the parenting advice, I would say most of it was great!

[Kimball · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the first book by Dr Henry Cloud and enjoyed it. This one was decent, too.

Notes:

If we don't take ownership of our own lives then we aren't in control of it either.

Kids need to understand that being unable differs from being uncomfortable. Kids think what they don't enjoy, they can't do. Children always shirk responsibilities but they need to take ownership.

We color our experiences with our opinions, wishes, and fears. See Joseph Smith's four different accounts of the First Vision with this understanding before you start pointing fingers and Hating.

People who are coerced to do something don't have the freedom to make mature or moral choices.

Time is a context for healing but not the healing process.

[Carissa Lawler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Get hard copy and possibly work book. Will need to re-read. Ch 14-16. Giving clear boundaries will give them more independence and freedom.

Compliant kids are fear based not loved based
They aren’t free to choose who and how to love , they are so driven by avoiding the loss of love or pain of criticism

Avoid over criticism or withdrawing love

Allow them to Freely choose and freely love

Example of author being limited by bone cancer as child, parents didn’t give in to every need but allowed him struggle through doing hard things, strengthen weak leg, being independent doing what he could for himself. Empowering tho hard.

[Noel Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was very good. I listened to the audiobook version and it was very helpful to here the author explain the concepts. It was very practical and o found it very encouraging. Parenting is hard, but that is expected. It’s the parent’s job to train a child who doesn’t know anything except concern for self. You help them build character and teach them how to set their own boundaries. This is very important in preparing children for the world. I recommend to any parent, especially the weary ones.

[Samuel Taggart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Boundaries is a great book. Boundaries for kids is the same just specifically for kids. It avoids a a lot of proscriptive "do this " or "don't do that" statements, but rather focus's on some general principles. I can't imagine raising a kid to turn into a functioning adult without the knowledge in this book.

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve actually read this twice and think it will be referred to often as I navigate parenting my teen and adolescent... I love the support of rephrasing to support better life skills and the biblical support. I highly recommend this for all parents.

[Denise Blumenfeld · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leí el libro sin ver el programa de dvd. Es interesante la forma en la que empodera a los padres, desde una perspectiva religiosa, para poner limites a los hijos educándolos a largo plazo y darles estrategias para afrontar sus reacciones producto del ponerlos.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be using several of the techniques and might need to get a work book version of this but I'm going to read the other books in this series because it is easy to understand and examples are used.

[Tabitha · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was more helpful than this workbook. A couple chapters I took notes on. I know it had to be written super open-ended but I would’ve gotten more out of it if there were more examples of behaviors and scenarios to practice talking through and troubleshooting.

[Marla Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good and challenging but in the best way. Helps give perspective when opinions about parenting are all over the place! This combines biblical guidance with practical strategies for cultivating children to become healthy adults.

[Mike McDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good will make you laugh out loud on your past behavior as a parent.

[Jens Odinga · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful tips

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far the best, most practical parenting book I’ve read (of 12-15). And, I think all the books I’ve read have been good and helpful.

[Robert C. Pfeiler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good ideas that will be most beneficial. It seemed like the Bible quotes were just thrown in to keep it "biblical."

[Micah Sasser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enlightening and I must read it again!

[Amy]

Recommended at MOPS 2019

[Angelynn Ballew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good ideas to start with.

[Costin Chirica · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book worth reading in order to understand a child’s needs (from the age of one).

[Juliette Beckham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read. I’ve always loved the original “Boundaries” book but reading the specific books for children, dating, marriage, etc has been truly eye opening!

[Shanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This says it is a DVD but I have the paperback book...not the DVD set. I just couldn't find that option to list on here.