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It's Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner
Your husband tells you he's transsexual.
Do you drop him like a hot rock? Could it possibly work out? Read this book! the transsexual process, talking to others, assessing your relationship, finding therapists, maintaining your marriage, jealousy, helping your children adjust, and more. Also for the woman who falls in love with a transsexual. It's not all about him. It's about you.
Do you drop him like a hot rock? Could it possibly work out? Read this book! the transsexual process, talking to others, assessing your relationship, finding therapists, maintaining your marriage, jealousy, helping your children adjust, and more. Also for the woman who falls in love with a transsexual. It's not all about him. It's about you.
322 pages, Paperback
Published May 23, 2023
1 person want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 20, 2023
It's a question that many face, but few talk about. What do you do when your spouse or partner comes out as transgender?
In her book, 'It’s Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' Elisabeth L. Morrissey aims to answer this question with the experience of someone who is very familiar with the trans community.
Morrissey has been married to her spouse, Karen for twenty-five years. Karen is a trans woman and although she had already come out as trans before she and Morrissey met, Karen was previously married to another women who left her after she began to transition.
Over her twenty-five years married to a trans woman, Morrissey has heard it all. Questions about her own sexuality, questions from religious people who disagree with Karen's transition and other hurtful things that greatly affected her at the beginning of their marriage.
Now, Morrissey gives advice that can only come from someone who has lived the life that she has led, about how to deal with the transition of a spouse or partner. This book takes the reader through the entire process of finding out that your spouse is trans and exactly how to answer the question of what to do next.
Morrissey admits up front that it is very hard for a couple to stay together after one person comes out as trans. She writes that she doesn't know, nor could she find in her research, any couples who kept their marriage together in this situation without evolving it into something else.
I greatly enjoyed this book, and found it to be an informative, interesting read that gave me a lot of perspective on the trans community. This book really opened my eyes in a lot of ways.
Reading a book cannot answer the difficult question of whether you should stay with your trans spouse and Morrissey says that right away. However, this book can function as a great jumping off point for anyone who is seeking answers for this question in their own life.
In her book, 'It’s Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' Elisabeth L. Morrissey aims to answer this question with the experience of someone who is very familiar with the trans community.
Morrissey has been married to her spouse, Karen for twenty-five years. Karen is a trans woman and although she had already come out as trans before she and Morrissey met, Karen was previously married to another women who left her after she began to transition.
Over her twenty-five years married to a trans woman, Morrissey has heard it all. Questions about her own sexuality, questions from religious people who disagree with Karen's transition and other hurtful things that greatly affected her at the beginning of their marriage.
Now, Morrissey gives advice that can only come from someone who has lived the life that she has led, about how to deal with the transition of a spouse or partner. This book takes the reader through the entire process of finding out that your spouse is trans and exactly how to answer the question of what to do next.
Morrissey admits up front that it is very hard for a couple to stay together after one person comes out as trans. She writes that she doesn't know, nor could she find in her research, any couples who kept their marriage together in this situation without evolving it into something else.
I greatly enjoyed this book, and found it to be an informative, interesting read that gave me a lot of perspective on the trans community. This book really opened my eyes in a lot of ways.
Reading a book cannot answer the difficult question of whether you should stay with your trans spouse and Morrissey says that right away. However, this book can function as a great jumping off point for anyone who is seeking answers for this question in their own life.
May 19, 2023
And easy-to-read and all-inclusive book that answers a very important question that many have asked, what do you do when your spouse comes out as transgender?
It is a wonderful thing that more and more people are finding themselves comfortable enough to come out as trans in today's world. Living your truth is something we should all aspire to, although for some it is easier than for others. But, as a person realizes that they are interested in transitioning, they may realize that having a spouse or partner may complicate things.
Questions begin to arise for the spouse, if I stay with this person, does it mean that I also have to come out as gay? How will this affect my marriage? How will this affect our children? These are all perfectly valid questions that can be difficult to answer.
Author Elisabeth L. Morrissey never claims that she has all of the answers, but having been married to a trans woman for over twenty years, Morrissey has some experience that she is willing to offer to readers of this book. With chapters like, 'The Bombshell,' and 'Telling the World,' Morrissey is very clear about the difficulties that transgender people, and their spouses will face when they come out.
Using her experience and a lot of research into laws regarding trans people, Morrissey's book is both realistic and uplifting. It is possible to make a marriage work under even the most difficult of circumstances, and Morrissey's marriage is a testament to that.
This is a wonderful and extremely helpful resource for anyone who may be dealing with their spouse coming out as transgender. Morrissey's style of compassionate, yet forthright writing is a great way to deliver the advice. I am not sure if this author intends to write more in the future, but if she does, I would love to read it!
It is a wonderful thing that more and more people are finding themselves comfortable enough to come out as trans in today's world. Living your truth is something we should all aspire to, although for some it is easier than for others. But, as a person realizes that they are interested in transitioning, they may realize that having a spouse or partner may complicate things.
Questions begin to arise for the spouse, if I stay with this person, does it mean that I also have to come out as gay? How will this affect my marriage? How will this affect our children? These are all perfectly valid questions that can be difficult to answer.
Author Elisabeth L. Morrissey never claims that she has all of the answers, but having been married to a trans woman for over twenty years, Morrissey has some experience that she is willing to offer to readers of this book. With chapters like, 'The Bombshell,' and 'Telling the World,' Morrissey is very clear about the difficulties that transgender people, and their spouses will face when they come out.
Using her experience and a lot of research into laws regarding trans people, Morrissey's book is both realistic and uplifting. It is possible to make a marriage work under even the most difficult of circumstances, and Morrissey's marriage is a testament to that.
This is a wonderful and extremely helpful resource for anyone who may be dealing with their spouse coming out as transgender. Morrissey's style of compassionate, yet forthright writing is a great way to deliver the advice. I am not sure if this author intends to write more in the future, but if she does, I would love to read it!
May 30, 2023
“That's really all this is about: respect. If you're conscientious about being respectful of your partner's shifting identity, it gives you solid ground for expecting your needs to be met. After all, this book is really about you.”
Although I have never experienced a spouse coming out as transgender, I found this book very impactful.
“It's Not All About You, Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,” by Elisabeth L. Morrissey is a self-help book for people who are dealing with this situation, and may need some advice from someone who knows what they are talking about.
Although Morrissey was not married to her wife, Karen when the other woman came out as trans, the couple has been married for over two decades, and Morrissey has spent a lot of time learning about the transgender community.
This book takes the reader through every single step of the process in deciding what is next for you and your family after your spouse decides to transition.
From starting out with the shock of them informing you of their gender identity, to deciding whether or not you are interested in pursuing a divorce, with everything in between.
I was particularly interested in the section revolving around the trans person’s employment, and whether or not coming out would affect their job.
Morrissey talks about the laws regarding discrimination against trans people in different states, and provides a lot of really interesting anecdotes from trans people (and their spouses) about what they have faced in coming out.
I can't imagine how invaluable this guide would be to someone who is going through this change in life. Morrissey has written a book that I think will really help a lot of people during a very vulnerable time. I wish I could give this book more than five stars!
Although I have never experienced a spouse coming out as transgender, I found this book very impactful.
“It's Not All About You, Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,” by Elisabeth L. Morrissey is a self-help book for people who are dealing with this situation, and may need some advice from someone who knows what they are talking about.
Although Morrissey was not married to her wife, Karen when the other woman came out as trans, the couple has been married for over two decades, and Morrissey has spent a lot of time learning about the transgender community.
This book takes the reader through every single step of the process in deciding what is next for you and your family after your spouse decides to transition.
From starting out with the shock of them informing you of their gender identity, to deciding whether or not you are interested in pursuing a divorce, with everything in between.
I was particularly interested in the section revolving around the trans person’s employment, and whether or not coming out would affect their job.
Morrissey talks about the laws regarding discrimination against trans people in different states, and provides a lot of really interesting anecdotes from trans people (and their spouses) about what they have faced in coming out.
I can't imagine how invaluable this guide would be to someone who is going through this change in life. Morrissey has written a book that I think will really help a lot of people during a very vulnerable time. I wish I could give this book more than five stars!
May 18, 2023
All of the qualities that make you fall in love with a good non-fiction book are present in the text of, 'It’s Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' by Elisabeth L. Morrissey.
This book deals with the issue of what to do when your spouse reveals that they are transsexual and are interested in living as the opposite gender. Should you stay with them? Should you get a divorce? These are obviously not questions that Elisabeth Morrissey can answer for anyone, and she makes that very clear, but she does provide a great deal of advice on the topic that the reader can use to make the decision themselves.
Morrissey is married to a transsexual woman named Karen, and, although she met Karen after the woman came out as trans, Morrissey has studied a lot on the topic and met with a lot of trans people in order to write this book.
Every stage of learning about and dealing with this new reality is covered in the book, from the initial emotional reaction to your spouse or partner's revelation, to considering whether or not you should stay married, to other major problems that you and your spouse may face.
I especially appreciated Morrissey's emphasis on how to address the situation if you and your spouse have children, and how their feelings should be taken into consideration. So often, the children are left out of these types of books, so I loved that she included a lot of care into dealing with how they handle the situation.
This self-help book was both very gentle and compassionate, while also being wonderfully upfront and realistic. Morrissey does not mince words when she talks about the societal shame and judgment that people often go through when they come out as transgender, and how much of that will blow back on their spouse if they decide to stay married.
I greatly enjoyed reading this book and I think you will as well, even if you just read it out of curiosity!
This book deals with the issue of what to do when your spouse reveals that they are transsexual and are interested in living as the opposite gender. Should you stay with them? Should you get a divorce? These are obviously not questions that Elisabeth Morrissey can answer for anyone, and she makes that very clear, but she does provide a great deal of advice on the topic that the reader can use to make the decision themselves.
Morrissey is married to a transsexual woman named Karen, and, although she met Karen after the woman came out as trans, Morrissey has studied a lot on the topic and met with a lot of trans people in order to write this book.
Every stage of learning about and dealing with this new reality is covered in the book, from the initial emotional reaction to your spouse or partner's revelation, to considering whether or not you should stay married, to other major problems that you and your spouse may face.
I especially appreciated Morrissey's emphasis on how to address the situation if you and your spouse have children, and how their feelings should be taken into consideration. So often, the children are left out of these types of books, so I loved that she included a lot of care into dealing with how they handle the situation.
This self-help book was both very gentle and compassionate, while also being wonderfully upfront and realistic. Morrissey does not mince words when she talks about the societal shame and judgment that people often go through when they come out as transgender, and how much of that will blow back on their spouse if they decide to stay married.
I greatly enjoyed reading this book and I think you will as well, even if you just read it out of curiosity!
May 22, 2023
Sometimes authors have found it difficult to write about transright, transsexual and other wonderful communities, perhaps due to the politics revolving around the same. However, society needs to understand that trans people need all the help and support they can get. A good transgender self-help book comes in handy since it helps one understand their dysphoria while also helping them decide on their next step which can sometimes be frightening and also lonely. One such book which, does exactly that is 'It's not all about you' by Elisabeth Morrisey.
What if it suddenly hits you that your lover is a transsexual, what is the next course of action? Will you leave them or will you stay? Will you consider them selfish or will you consider yourself selfish in case you decide to leave? This is exactly the dilemma this book is trying to untangle. It revolves around a woman who discovers that her husband is a transsexual, the book looks at different themes including that of the relationship and whether it will work with this new revelation, therapy session, and maintaining your marriage while also helping the young ones adapt to this discovery.
With the well-developed writing, Morrisey does a wonderful job of helping the readers gain some insight into the complexities of gender identity while also looking at how to cope with a situation where one partner is different from the other. This book helps provide some comprehensive representation, and break stereotypes while encouraging empathy thus creating a more inclusive and accepting society for all individuals regardless of gender identity. Furthermore, it helps investigate themes of gender fluidity, identity and societal norms thus rendering this masterpiece a pioneering work of transgender non-fiction. ‘It’s not all About You’ is a crucial piece to the self-help genre And is sure to help many people going through having a spouse or even friend coming out as transgender. Bravo!
What if it suddenly hits you that your lover is a transsexual, what is the next course of action? Will you leave them or will you stay? Will you consider them selfish or will you consider yourself selfish in case you decide to leave? This is exactly the dilemma this book is trying to untangle. It revolves around a woman who discovers that her husband is a transsexual, the book looks at different themes including that of the relationship and whether it will work with this new revelation, therapy session, and maintaining your marriage while also helping the young ones adapt to this discovery.
With the well-developed writing, Morrisey does a wonderful job of helping the readers gain some insight into the complexities of gender identity while also looking at how to cope with a situation where one partner is different from the other. This book helps provide some comprehensive representation, and break stereotypes while encouraging empathy thus creating a more inclusive and accepting society for all individuals regardless of gender identity. Furthermore, it helps investigate themes of gender fluidity, identity and societal norms thus rendering this masterpiece a pioneering work of transgender non-fiction. ‘It’s not all About You’ is a crucial piece to the self-help genre And is sure to help many people going through having a spouse or even friend coming out as transgender. Bravo!
May 19, 2023
If your spouse or partner recently came out as transgender and you're wondering if this book is for you, trust me, it is! 'It’s Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' by Elisabeth L. Morrissey is a terrific book of advice for those who have recently realized that the person they were sharing their lives with is transgender.
It can be difficult to struggle with the question of what to do after your spouse tells you that they are trans. Of course, you want to be supportive, but where does this new information leave your marriage?
Elisabeth L. Morrissey has been married to a trans woman named Karen for twenty-five years, and, as such, she has a lot of knowledge about the trans community.
Although Karen was already living as a woman when she and Elisabeth met, Elisabeth has spent a lot of time researching laws regarding trans people and talking with people in the community about what they have dealt with in coming out. It's a situation that not many people outside of the trans community talk about, but one that every married trans person and their spouse have to face.
Elisabeth offers a lot of useful advice from the pen of someone who has actual knowledge of the situation and I can see her advice being very helpful for anyone who is married to (or in a serious relationship with) a trans person.
From talking about how to obtain a good therapist or marriage counselor, to how to help your partner as they re-experience adolescence in the opposite gender, 'It's Not All About You,' is exactly the type of resource that can come in clutch in a difficult time.
Although I have never personally experienced a spouse or partner coming out as trans, I have to say that I found this book very intriguing and informative. I am so happy that a book like this can be written, and I hope it helps anyone that reads it.
It can be difficult to struggle with the question of what to do after your spouse tells you that they are trans. Of course, you want to be supportive, but where does this new information leave your marriage?
Elisabeth L. Morrissey has been married to a trans woman named Karen for twenty-five years, and, as such, she has a lot of knowledge about the trans community.
Although Karen was already living as a woman when she and Elisabeth met, Elisabeth has spent a lot of time researching laws regarding trans people and talking with people in the community about what they have dealt with in coming out. It's a situation that not many people outside of the trans community talk about, but one that every married trans person and their spouse have to face.
Elisabeth offers a lot of useful advice from the pen of someone who has actual knowledge of the situation and I can see her advice being very helpful for anyone who is married to (or in a serious relationship with) a trans person.
From talking about how to obtain a good therapist or marriage counselor, to how to help your partner as they re-experience adolescence in the opposite gender, 'It's Not All About You,' is exactly the type of resource that can come in clutch in a difficult time.
Although I have never personally experienced a spouse or partner coming out as trans, I have to say that I found this book very intriguing and informative. I am so happy that a book like this can be written, and I hope it helps anyone that reads it.
May 30, 2023
Everything your spouse does reflects on you. This is a decision that we make when we get married, and sometimes it can mean changes that you never would've expected.
Maybe you always thought you'd have the perfect, normal life, the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, but one day your husband informs you that he has decided to come out as transgender, and your whole world gets turned upside down.
What do you do next? Author Elisabeth L. Morrissey aims to answer that questions with her book, “It's Not All About You, Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner.”
Elisabeth has been married to a trans woman for many years, and has faced a lot of push back from society for this.
Though she has no idea whether it's a good idea for you, the reader, and your spouse to stay together, Elisabeth provides quite a bit of advice on the topic that can help you make the decision yourself.
I personally found her stories about the different situations that her trans friends have faced to be both funny and sad.
Of course, coming out as trans is not something that is easily done, and it takes a lot of strength to support someone through this process.
'It's Not All About You,' has a section on everything from the emotional changes that your spouse or partner will be dealing with, to the changes that they may experience in their healthcare.
Everything that you and your trans spouse need to know is in this book!
The author writes like a friend that you've known for years giving you advice. I found myself laughing out loud at points and crying at others.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone who is going through this difficult change, or for anyone who wishes to learn more about the transgender community.
Maybe you always thought you'd have the perfect, normal life, the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, but one day your husband informs you that he has decided to come out as transgender, and your whole world gets turned upside down.
What do you do next? Author Elisabeth L. Morrissey aims to answer that questions with her book, “It's Not All About You, Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner.”
Elisabeth has been married to a trans woman for many years, and has faced a lot of push back from society for this.
Though she has no idea whether it's a good idea for you, the reader, and your spouse to stay together, Elisabeth provides quite a bit of advice on the topic that can help you make the decision yourself.
I personally found her stories about the different situations that her trans friends have faced to be both funny and sad.
Of course, coming out as trans is not something that is easily done, and it takes a lot of strength to support someone through this process.
'It's Not All About You,' has a section on everything from the emotional changes that your spouse or partner will be dealing with, to the changes that they may experience in their healthcare.
Everything that you and your trans spouse need to know is in this book!
The author writes like a friend that you've known for years giving you advice. I found myself laughing out loud at points and crying at others.
I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone who is going through this difficult change, or for anyone who wishes to learn more about the transgender community.
May 18, 2023
'It’s Not All About You: Living with a Transsexual Spouse or Partner,' by Elisabeth L. Morrissey is an emotional and fulfilling self-help book that answers the question, what should you do when the person that you are married to comes out as transgender?
If you think that this is a hot button issue now, back when Morrissey met her partner, Karen in 1986, transgender people weren't even being talked about.
By the time that Morrissey met her partner, Karen was already living as a woman, but she had recently divorced her wife, who had left her when she came out. In meeting and falling in love with Karen, Morrissey began meeting many trans people and learning more and more about their world.
Learning more made Morrissey wish to write this book, and I'm glad that she did. There is a lot of useful information here for people who may be experiencing this life change, and who are curious about what to do next.
Morrissey is very clear that she did not write this book in an attempt to tell anyone how to live their life. It isn't up to her whether or not anyone reading decides to stay with their trans spouse or partner, but she offers a lot of help and advice for anyone who does choose to stay.
I really appreciated this self-help book, and the knowledge and experience that must have gone into writing it.
Morrissey is a talented writer, not only in the sense that she provides a lot of information, but in how she adds personal anecdotes that create a kind of narrative structure for the book. By the end of this book, I felt as though I knew Morrissey and Karen and had been friends with them for years!
If you think that this is a hot button issue now, back when Morrissey met her partner, Karen in 1986, transgender people weren't even being talked about.
By the time that Morrissey met her partner, Karen was already living as a woman, but she had recently divorced her wife, who had left her when she came out. In meeting and falling in love with Karen, Morrissey began meeting many trans people and learning more and more about their world.
Learning more made Morrissey wish to write this book, and I'm glad that she did. There is a lot of useful information here for people who may be experiencing this life change, and who are curious about what to do next.
Morrissey is very clear that she did not write this book in an attempt to tell anyone how to live their life. It isn't up to her whether or not anyone reading decides to stay with their trans spouse or partner, but she offers a lot of help and advice for anyone who does choose to stay.
I really appreciated this self-help book, and the knowledge and experience that must have gone into writing it.
Morrissey is a talented writer, not only in the sense that she provides a lot of information, but in how she adds personal anecdotes that create a kind of narrative structure for the book. By the end of this book, I felt as though I knew Morrissey and Karen and had been friends with them for years!
May 31, 2023
Every now and then I decide to broaden my scope and read outside my normal comfort box. Lately I’ve added a few new topics like non-fiction.
I decided to try this one to see how something a change this big would impact your life. It’s obvious it’s a big impact but how about the everyday life?
I wasn’t prepared for just how much change and impact this could have on not just the person going through the change but the partners and families.
The book was intriguing, interesting and dealt with everything from the actual change, feelings, partners, financial aspects, you name it… it’s probably covered and in a respectful, easy to understand way.
If you know if someone going through the change or involved with someone I suggest you get this book. It could help you both.
It’s not boring and dry like a lot of self help or non fiction. The headings and subheadings are intriguing and draw you in and occasionally the author invites you to share a cookie and will offer you the recipe at the end of book. I’d lie if I said I didn’t stick around for it and if there is one thing I’d like different in the book? A printable version of the recipe!
I decided to try this one to see how something a change this big would impact your life. It’s obvious it’s a big impact but how about the everyday life?
I wasn’t prepared for just how much change and impact this could have on not just the person going through the change but the partners and families.
The book was intriguing, interesting and dealt with everything from the actual change, feelings, partners, financial aspects, you name it… it’s probably covered and in a respectful, easy to understand way.
If you know if someone going through the change or involved with someone I suggest you get this book. It could help you both.
It’s not boring and dry like a lot of self help or non fiction. The headings and subheadings are intriguing and draw you in and occasionally the author invites you to share a cookie and will offer you the recipe at the end of book. I’d lie if I said I didn’t stick around for it and if there is one thing I’d like different in the book? A printable version of the recipe!
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews