For Goodness Sex: A Sex-Positive Guide to Raising Healthy, Empowered Teens – Updated Tools for Parents Teaching Adolescents About Sexuality Beyond Abstinence

by Al Vernacchio

“A breath of much-needed fresh air around a very charged subject.”—Christiane Northrup, M.D., OB/GYN physician and author of the New York Times bestsellers Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

“Vernacchio's no-blame, no-shame approach will inspire parents to drop their fears, judgments, and inhibitions in order to help their kids navigate the teen years.”—Publishers Weekly

A progressive approach to sexuality education that challenges commonly-held beliefs about how we talk to young people about sex and offers a controversial yet proven alternative to the standard conversations taking place in schools and homes across America.

Sex education today generally falls into one of two abstinence-only or abstinence-based education—both of which tend to withhold important, factual information and leave young adults ill-equipped to make safe decisions. Al Vernacchio, a high school sexuality educator who holds a Master’s degree in Human Sexuality from the University of Pennsylvania, has created a new sex-positive education. In For Goodness Sex, he refutes the “disaster prevention” model of sex ed, offering a progressive and realistic Sexuality is a natural part of life, and healthy sexuality can only develop from a sex-positive, affirming appreciation.

Curious yet fearful of being judged, young people turn to peers, the Internet, and the media, where they receive problematic messages about boys are studs, girls are sluts; real sex should be like porn; hookups are better than relationships. Without a broader understanding to offset these damaging perceptions, teenagers are dangerously unprepared intellectually and emotionally to grow and develop as sexual beings. For Goodness Sex offers the tools and insights adults need to talk young people and help them develop healthy values and safe habits. With real-life examples from the classroom, exercises and quizzes, and a wealth of sample discussions and crucial information, Vernacchio offers a guide to sex education for the twenty-first century.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

337 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 18, 2023

Reviews

[Anthony Mattas · Rating 5 out of 5]

In “For Goodness Sex,” Al Vernacchio accomplishes what many might consider impossible: he transforms the often awkward and challenging subject of sex education into an accessible and engaging conversation for parents and their children. With a compassionate and respectful approach, Vernacchio encourages open dialogue, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect as children navigate the complex journey toward adulthood.

The book shines with its practical advice, offering parents tangible strategies to support their children through puberty with confidence and understanding. Vernacchio’s guidance is not only practical but also rooted in scientific research, providing a solid foundation for his recommendations and ensuring that parents can trust the advice given.

This book is more than just a guide; it’s a crucial resource for any parent facing the daunting task of discussing sexuality with their children. The book’s strength lies in its ability to demystify the subject, making it approachable and less intimidating for both parents and kids.

[Heidi Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an excellent discussion of high school level of sex education! I have no idea how I ended up with this book. Embarrassingly, even after having three children, I learned things. I have never in my 51 years had such a clear discussion about sex. I think this will be an excellent book for all parents to read as their children enter high school. Mr. Vernacchio's discussions are not intimidating and allow everyone to think through a very serious subject and be vulnerable and realistic about something that is usually taboo to discuss. Thank you for writing this book Mr. Vernacchio.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by a high school sexuality and society teacher, this was a good read. It included lots of concepts that I hadn’t thought about and although, some I wouldn’t discuss with my kid, lots of ideas to think about on how/when to discuss.

I felt like the last half of the book was really strong, so definitely keep listening to it.

[Ashley LeFevre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this to anyone who has a teen

[lifeaccordingtonikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be recommending this book to parents for the rest of my career. Absolutely phenomenal.
Basically it is a step by step guide to teaching teenagers about sex. You have a teacher take you through his entire year of lessons plans in one book explaining EXACTLY how he teaches his students, the activity’s he has them do, the answers they give, the way he presents the material, all of it.
As an educator myself, this was obviously a goldmine. But if I was a parent of a child any older than 8, this is the book I would start with to help me teach them about sex as they begin to transition into their pre-teen and teenage years.

Here are just a few of my favorite quotes and notes I took while reading that will probably not make a ton of sense without the context of the rest of the chapter- but I’ll post them anyways.
- we are a society that is so sexually repressed that we have become sexually obsessed.
- A good definition of sex: Consensual, sober, safer sexual activity that offers mutual pleasure intimacy and enhanced connection.
- Values are the deepest set rules that direct someone’s decisions. They don’t just tell us what to do they tells us why we do it they reflect our core beliefs and tell us what really matters to us. If we say it and don’t do it- it’s not a value. It must be acted upon constantly and repeatedly. If we follow it sometimes but not always it’s not a value. Values are aspirational. Therefore it’s essential in sex educatation to distinguish between a fact, a value, and an option.
- If you can’t look your partner in the eye and talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it with them.


So many incredible insights within these pages- I seriously can’t recommend it enough.