Until the Ribbon Breaks

by E.K. Blair

* Be advised that "Until the Ribbon Breaks" contains sensitive topics substance abuse, suicide, and mental illness. Some scenes may be triggering.

This is an unflinching and heartbreaking portrait of adolescents with mental illness and the effects it has on the people surrounding them.

Being locked up in a juvenile mental health facility was the last place Harlow thought she’d be spending the summer before her senior year of high school. Battling with massive depressive disorder and a past suicide attempt, one wouldn’t think things could get much worse, that is, until Hopewell’s newest patient arrives—Sebastian. Popular, arrogant, and the one person Harlow despises the most at school; it couldn’t possibly get any worse, could it?

With nowhere to hide, Harlow is forced to come face to face with her deepest insecurities—insecurities that will pave the way for her to forge an unforeseen friendship with Sebastian. Together, they learn to lean on each other in order to find the strength to drop their walls and see each other’s truths.

But it’s when they leave Hopewell and return home that life becomes even more complicated and lines begin to blur. Stripped of all their safeguards that Hopewell provided and thrusted back into their lives, the two of them must rely on each other as they navigate through their senior year.

Genres: Romance, Mental Health, Young Adult, Fiction, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Abuse

338 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 8, 2023

Reviews

[❥ KAT ❥ Kitty Kats Crazy About Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

🎗 🆄🅽🆃🅸🅻 🆃🅷🅴 🆁🅸🅱🅱🅾🅽 🅱🆁🅴🅰🅺🆂 🎗Is a full length book by E.K. Blair. Spoken in dual perspectives. This is Harlow & Sebastian's story. Aged 17

SHE'S BACK!!

This book lead me down a path I wasn’t prepared for, like a train wreck, I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t help inhaling these pages.

I wanted to hold her, wrap her up in cotton wool, yell at the author to leave her alone, because like our heroine I was holding on by a thread feeling everything that this book threw at me.

These two characters hide so much of themselves to the outside world, Sebastian is the popular boy in school, one of the jocks, but no one sees the struggles he faces in his home life, the one place which should be his safe haven is anything but.

He was one of her bullies..

Harlow is always feeling empty, misunderstood, she can't pinpoint the change but she went from being surrounded by friends to being a wallflower. No one in her corner, forever feeling restless, a mother who doesn't understand her, an absent father who travels for long periods. Most of the time she feels as though the walls are closing in, she wants to feel, she wants to be normal. She thinks she's unlovable, broken beyond repair.



Until...They both land up at Hopewell a juvenile mental health facility..

He goes from being her tormentor, to the thread which grounds her.

I've got so many conflicting thoughts when it comes to unravelling everything I’m feeling, where hate and love walked hand in hand. Part of me wholeheartedly loved this book, but the other hated it, it wrecked me, destroyed me. It was so real, raw, riveting. I never wanted it to end, but the way in which it ended had me reeling, my heartstrings destroyed leaving me spiralling into an emotional pit of sadness!

* Teaser used is off the authors facebook page *

 

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[Shabby -BookBistroBlog · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was NOT prepared for this book. I don't think I've recovered at all too, and I closed it hours ago.
Blair has always written meaty, theme based stories with strong female protagonists. renowned for her unexpected twists and turns, she's been my fave author to read.
But this book went beyond all expectations. It delivered a sucker punch so strong I fell to my knees.
Blair has masterfully tackled the subject of Mental illness. One we often consider tabboo and too shameful to talk about openly. The in depth accounts, some pulled from her own survival story, others contributed by her friends, form a visceral tale of debilitating illness that is sure to leave you in tears.



"You never know what the person sitting next to you is going through or struggling with, and I’m not just talking about in this room. People with depression are often very good at masking it.”

teenagers coming from tumultuous homes, the daily peer pressures & bullying, it worsens at a rapid pace and this is exactly what the heroine, Harlow is going through.
Her depression coloured my soul grey, her spiral downwards pulled me into its vortex.
I curled into a ball when she was in pain, my soul darkened when hers was clouded by misery.
I can't even tell you how much Harlow seeped into my heart. The struggling little Sparrow elicited sympathy & empathy from me

"I'm a vacant soul, who can't even feel. If they were to cut into me, they wouldn’t find anything but an empty cavity, a chamber of depression, a crater of disenchantment."



But more than that, the reactive Sebastian's response to her cries for help, touched my heart even more. Totally coming in unexpectedly, He wasn't supposed to be this gentle,this compassionate, this sensitive. The way he responds to Harlow's grief and tries to offer small comforts in his own way were too poignant to deal with.
Esp the scene after Family visiting Hopewell, the way he opens his arms for Harlow. Or the scene on the beach where Low admits to him or the last scene....they all highlighted what a super character Sebastian is. I wish Blair finds it in her heart to give him another book where he shines like a superman saving more downed souls with his new found grit and determination.
Asa fellow high schooler of Harlow, He was a smirking, relentlessly teasing, jeering Bully, who laughed at his "cricket" everyday. Spreading false rumours, Along with his posse of friends.
The journey of his self realization & sobriety of demeanour comes via a huge personal cost.
You can actually see clearly and admire the character arc going through remarkable maturity and change in Hopewell.

"I used to see him around and think that he was nothing but a spoiled, egotistical jerk, breaking the rules because he thought it made him cool. Now, I see the truth—that his life is a collision course of devastation. "




I was wondering throughout, as to why and how will Blair wrap up the story. because the stark loneliness and abject depressive state of the characters were looking pretty much unsalvageable.
And I'm happy...satisfied...delighted.. nope. I'm accepting of the way Blair brings the story to its befitting end.
Because this is life.
it's happening all around us more than we care to notice or care.
I'm still shooketh, I'm still puffy eyed, I'm still dessicated with all the emotions drained out through tears...but I'm glad I got to meet Harlow and Sebastian.
And I'm surely glad I get to experience E.K. Blair's unflinching stories in real time.
are there even enough stars that could match the impact of this profound story?
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[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Until the Ribbon Breaks is the first book I've read by EK Blair in so long! I struggle to say I enjoyed it, because enjoy isn't really the right word. It was terribly sad and the ending left me in tears. This is Harlow and Sebastian's story and it deals very heavily with mental health and addiction. It's not an easy read, I wouldn't classify it as a romance and as for the ending WTH was that... I was so shocked. It didn't have a HEA for those who need to know that...

[Jan]

I can't rate this book.

[Finucha · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.7/5⭐️
“I still have your turtle, by the way” omg I cannot stop crying and my heart is broken right now, Harlow and Sebastian deserved the absolute best and their story tores me apart😖💔💔🎀

[Jordan 🌼 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ummmm wtf 😭😭😭 it really didn’t need to end like that

[Jennifer Kyle]

I don't know how to rate this


I'll go with 4 stars for the writing and 1 star for the hopeless feeling the ending left me feeling.

[Soph · Rating 5 out of 5]

★★★★★. “At least she’s no longer in pain.”
“I want her here. Selfishly, I just want her back.”

[zara ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⋆. 𐙚 six feet under - billie eilish
0:00 ─〇───── 0:00
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

˚⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ “promise, you’ll try”

i bawled my eyes out. it was so sad. awwww my babiess it was so sweet and tragic and horrible and i couldn’t stop reading. i didn’t want to know that ending but i needed to knowwww. it was almost worse than all the bright places. i knew it was coming but it still made me cry. sebastian and harlow were so sweet. max was adorable. though i really enjoyed the story and it made me cry, it could’ve been so much better. it has SO MUCH potential to be absolutely shattering but it just wasn’t deep enough. it would’ve been better if the timeline was more evolved because it just all happened so quickly. the backgrounds need fleshing out because i really wasn’t feeling harlow’s frustrations about her mum, i think we need more reflection on her past visit at hopewell and less sudden outbursts because i couldn’t really connect her level anger with the situation in addition to her diagnosis. i do feel for her but she definitely could be understood more, by both characters and reader if there was more information and more of everything, like description without naming it of how she felt and i don’t know about how quickly sebastian was remorseful and no one lingered on it and his struggles and thoughts were completely ignored, even in his own chapters and though she was struggling, harlow literally showed zero signs of insecurity. so while they were cute and the vision was really there for the story, it just needed a little bit something more.

[Carlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I tell you I cried 50% of this book, I don't mean my eyes sort of welled up with tears, I mean I straight bawled. Until the Ribbon Breaks has trigger warnings that should be heeded and as someone with personal experience, I knew going into this novel I would have some struggles with it, but it was worth it.

Until the Ribbon Breaks follows Harlow as she struggles with depression in the summer between her junior and senior year. We see her face bullying, the ups of new friendship, and the downs of familial strife. We see her struggle, to find the good in good days when mentally she can see it, but emotionally it doesn't touch her. E.K. Blair captures the feeling of loneliness without being alone, the internal turmoil, the nothingness feeling so well that it was both obvious she understands it personally, but also that she cares enough to give readers that character to relate to. It isn't brushed over, it isn't all magically healed, it's the very raw, real, hard truth and it did make me feel like I wasn't alone. It also broke my heart, because as someone who has come out the other side and has great tools to manage when I do struggle, I hate to see someone who doesn't and can't.

E.K. Blair has never shied away from the realities of life, her stories feature beautiful friendship and romances and relationships, but they also focus predominately on the realities of life. They aren't your typical escape, they're the stories the shelves need to have when someone needs to know they aren't alone, that the rosy, dreamy romance isn't the truth of life for everyone. This one is harder, grittier, more difficult to swallow. It ended in a way I both expected and was somehow unprepared for at the same time. It's written incredibly well, with so much character development for both Harlow and the secondary characters, it just has more weight to it than maybe many will be prepared for. I loved this book, I needed this book, just heed the warnings.

[sheela · Rating 4 out of 5]

my chest hurts and i am sick

[Nicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not sure I’ll recover.

[Phoebe · Rating 3 out of 5]

oh.

[Chlo (Taylor's Version) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok so it's finally time to tackle all these unfinished reviews. SO first I really enjoyed both POVs of Harlow and Sebastian because I thought that their experiences are very different. I thought that the whole drunk driving thing and then going to a facility thing was kind of unrealistic but I have never driven or had substances (BE SAFE my underage besties). They were a cute couple but I could tell some things were not fair like his friends still bullying her and him not wanting to see her in public. Also, Harlow's mom was not very nice who does that?? Have an honest talk with your child and talk to THEIR therapist what the heck. No wonder she hated you and that was the tipping point for her very unfortunate passing. And then the poor guy who struggled with some toxic not dad and addicted to alcohol mom goes BACK to the same place??? WHYY maybe set him up with an actual helpful counselor/therapist. That part really pissed me off. Anyways that's not the author's fault its just how the world is.

[Kaz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT ENDING, as much as I thought it would happen, I didn’t believe it when it did 😭😭
They deserved better 💔💔
However, the author showed the realities of depression and addition so well where you sympathised with characters and felt each emotion and thought they were going through.

[Destiny · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Why do you want to die?” The answer comes easily, so I give it to him. “Because I don’t know what it feels like to live.”

5⭐️
0🌶️

Tropes:
•mental health rep
•alcoholism
•high school
•emotional

Possible tw
•self harm
•sucidical thoughts
•death of a parent
🚨NO HEA 🚨

Thoughts:

This was one the hardest books I’ve read simply because of how relatable I found the fmc. As someone who really struggles with depression, I have never related more to a character. From the issues with her mom, to mental exhaustion of trying to like being alive, it was so hard to read to know that I’ve felt all of her feelings.

I also found Sebastian super relatable to but for a different reason. As a child of an alcoholic, the pain of being neglected and having their addiction being was so real.

“I hate my dad for dying and leaving me alone.”

Literally sobbing my eyes out because I’ve said that. I hate how relatable this book was to me.

[buzy_reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhere along the way everything changed. Friendship change. Family changed. Even the person she once was changed.
…
Harlow has a secret. She hides a secret from the people at her school. She hides a secret from her parents. Most of all she hides a secret from herself.
…
Harlow is seventeen and in high school. She dreads going to school because the people she once knew as friends growing up no longer look to her as a friend. Somewhere along the way she distanced herself from them.
…
Her home life is unstable too with a father whose is away more than he is home and a mother who is overprotective. She misses her father when he’s away because she rather spend time with him than her mother.
…
Sebastian is the popular guy at school, but he’s a fraud. While he’s looked up to by his friends at school he’s looked down at home by his mother.
…
EK Blair is back after a three year absence from writing. This book will melt and break your heart. I mean it will tug on your heartstrings. This one is an emotional journey. The story follows two characters whose lives are spiraling out-of-control. Their family structure is falling apart and the friends they made during childhood don’t understand what they are going thru. They appear to have a normal life on the outside, but their internal struggles are causing them to sink further into despair. As EK Blair travels down different roads, sharing the destruction of each of Sebastian and Harlow’s choices, the reader finds a better understanding about depression. I think this is her best work to date. Second to Author Anonymous. That book had an entirely different topic compared to this one, yet when comparing the emotional turmoil and feelings of loss and loneliness it’s right up there with that book. This is the type of writing voice that compels me to read. It’s the type of read that makes it hard to walk away from. My mind is constantly on these characters. All I want to do is escape into reading until I reach the end.
…
It’s a powerful story about emotions and how they weigh heavy on their mind. Each character copes differently. I feel like this is an important read that shouldn’t be skipped over or left on that long TBR list. There’s a message that speaks loud and clear. It’s a wake up call for anyone willing to listen.
…
I think something could be said about writers who have the ability to tap into these type of feelings. EK Blair writes with the knowledge of understanding what it’s like to deal with depression. I felt every word. This book evokes the intended emotion. I’m drawn into this world as if sitting on a chair watching it unfold.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come…I can’t see the screen. *sobbing*

**FULL REVIEW**

Where do I even start? So many emotions run through me as I contemplate how to share my thoughts without spoiling things...I will first start by saying this:

Today, June 6, is exactly one year since we lost a boy to his depression--someone who was loved by so many and a light where ever he went. No one truly knew the depth of his despair and it wasn't until he was gone that people started really talking about mental illness. It's always been something handled behind closed doors, or worse, not at all. Every day, this boy's absence is felt. It's seen in the eyes of his family and friends, in the eyes of my son, who was very close to him. In our community...it just feels less somehow, because although a year has passed, the weight of this loss weighs heavy on our hearts. On my heart. The boy will never be forgotten, his legacy will live on and the foundation started in his name will hopefully be a light for many others suffering in the darkness.

*Excuse me while I take a breath.*

You can imagine how I felt reading this book. A book that shines a light on the deepest, darkest part of a young girl's mind. Of a boy who lives a lie. Even a family that struggles to find a balance where there isn't any to be had. So much to say, yet, words escape me. My heart just...aches.
It aches in a way I can't explain because to put words to the pain could destroy any semblance of lucidity I have right now. I cried myself to sleep over this book. I've had to pull myself together multiple times at work today because I am shattered over how tragic and...what's worse than sad? Is there a word that describes that emotion? Because that's where I am.

Yet, it's just a small fraction of what I would imagine Harlow to feel as she navigated an illness where she felt utterly alone, broken, unworthy...where she couldn't trust anyone with her words because they had once been used against her. How she found solace in a mental facility among the other "broken" or "damaged" people. People not unlike herself...where she found common ground with a boy she never thought possible. Where she found peace until she couldn't.

Here is the hardest part.
What now? How do we move forward? How do we just keep going when everything in our world has just been shattered into a million tiny pieces? Where do we muster up the courage to ask for help? To have hope that things could get better? Will get better?

I'll tell you, as a mother, I can't answer that. As someone who once felt this darkness and sometimes still does, I honestly still don't know. And that's the truth. There's no magic cure-all, no switch to flip, nothing but time...and how devastating to believe that the space we take up is too much. So, we shrink. We mold ourselves to fit someone else's version of us...because it has to be better than the version we see, right?

Lord, I pray that whoever reads this book takes from it the purest of raw and real emotion it evokes, sees with an open and empathic heart, remembers that people are fighting battles every day that we know nothing about...and when all else fails, kindness goes a long way. It may not always be enough...but it's a start. A start is something...a spark of hope that the days won't always be so dark.

And if you need a hand to hold, I'm here. I will sit with you in the dark until you find the light again...so much love. *cries* So much.

**5 Beautifully Scarred, Stars**

[Fsdigitaldiary · Rating 1 out of 5]

short review : beyond awful.
long review: Beyond surface level, utterly depthless , and completely cliched . The characters are cardboard cutouts that act how a boomer assumes kids with depression and drinking problems act. They talk like archetypes of teenagers that bear no resemblance to actual ones living in this generation with millennial quips and notions .Things like “ I hate you guys !!!!! Why are you ruining my life!!” to her parents because of course , every teenager hates their parents and “ Mom, that’s so lame !”to show the disconnect of parents to their kids . Completely tired deceptions of any of those things. Even in situations where she could have gave them any nuance or depth , she doesn’t. He bullies her yet act like it’s the revelation of the decade that she’s affected by it in any way yet continues to treat his girlfriend(not the fmc) horribly both before and AFTER his stint in the mental institution saying this like “ Girls. They’re nothing but drama.”“Man, these girls are tripping,”
“Just trying to make small talk. You don’t have to be a bitch.” Again, tired notions of girls being shamed for being emotional by boys - mind you, he had completely ghosted her and treated her shitty . Rhetorics done a million times in the last decade yet still reiterated in this book that came out in 2023 .Parents just don’t understand, girls are crazy for having any sliver of emotion,bullying because
“everyone else was and it seemed like the cool thing to do.”( direct quote from him)
Nothing was original or introspective to any degree . Don’t write about teenagers if you lack the ability to not make them act and talk like robots , believe it or not , they can feel beyond constantly saying “ That sucks .” “ That blows” and whatever millennial slang that was persistent in this book. “High school is so dumb.”
“Mom, nobody wears those. They’re lame.”( direct quotes, again. )
Spare your time if you want a book with even a sliver of nuance or genuine relatability and not what every tv show in the early 2000s where you cringe at every word portrays teenagers as.
It’s not a one star because the ending did make my stomach tighten and anything that illicit emotions gets a point . ( Dare I say , even that ending could been done better?)
I saw this book on tiktok and it only further cemented the fact that tiktok would love a blank page of paper if they can romanticize it

[Stacy Hahn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no words to process all that I have just read and experienced in reading this heartbreaking, soul hurting story that is so true for so many. Right now the tears won’t stop falling and the heaviness in my heart won’t lift, but that is nothing compared to what someone who suffers from severe debilitating depression feels like constantly. EK Blair did an unparalleled job telling such a difficult story. It was hard to read and it could be a trigger for many, but it’s a story that must be told. Thank you for this book.

[seema · Rating 5 out of 5]

my pillow is soaked with tears

[son! · Rating 5 out of 5]

if there’s a suspicious amount of pages left, DO NOT READ ON! (thank me later…)

[mysoulricochet · Rating 5 out of 5]

i needed this book ; felt seen

[viha ‪‪❤︎‬ · Rating 4 out of 5]

── until the ribbon breaks : ★★★★☆ ୨ৎ

⊹ ࣪ ˖ “it's a ribbon. over my scar, it's tied into a tiny bow with the tail ends loosely curled. it's simple and unobtrusive, and makes the most gruesome part of me a little less ugly.”

┆ ⤿ 💌 ⌗ thoughts
⟡ this book was literally gut wrenching and i'm not recovering. as a future psychiatrist (hopefully) literally seeing how peoples brains work and how they struggle in silence is so saddening in ways that cant be explained. both harlow and sebastion never spoke up about the issues they faced and i feel like that's the root of the problem. depression and alcoholism are both so so destroying and the fact that so many people go through these things makes me feel so guilty. what i did like is that harlow made more friends at hopewell, with people who knew what she was going through. and oh my gosh my poor poor max eating disorders are so horrible and the fact that she was the last one left at the center?? tears. sebastion and harlow were so sweet the way they found comfort in each other and only each other if thats not love then i dont know what is. the romance in this book was like a breath of fresh air because their first kiss wasn't needy or fueled by lust, it had real emotion. even at her lowest harlow trusted sebastion to take her virginity. that was so important to me because i hate hookup culture and obviously i read smut and sex scenes in books but sex is more than just getting off, and this book showed that. i already knew the ending was coming so it didn't shock me, but of course i was sad about it because harlow was genuinely trying, but the depression won. sobs.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ “so take me, world. break me, shatter me, and toss my pieces into the sky. clutching the handle in my unsteady hand, my heart takes its last beats, my lungs their last breaths, my defective mind its last thoughts, and with conviction, i cut. i cut deeper than ever before. i cut until......until the ribbon breaks.”

┆ ⤿ 🕊️ ⌗ characters

⋮ ⌗ ┆ harlow stephenson :: music nerd
꒰ this is me trying by taylor swift ⊹₊ ⋆

i relate to her mommy issues so hard. my moms not a cheater, but theres that resentment, the same one that harlow feels. i feel so sad for her because she was already having a hard time at home and the suddenly all her friends drifted away from her and started to hate her? worst fear ever. she was so happy when she was with sebastion and its just so unfortunate how despite that, she let go.

⋮ ⌗ ┆ sebastion west :: jock
꒰ tired by beabadoobee ⊹₊ ⋆

sebastion had such good character development, until he turned back to alcohol. he changed for harlow and while i love that he started drinking again and threw away his time at hopewell. i still love him though he stopped caring about his reputation once harlow came along he truly did love her, and he never got to say it :(((( 'i was gone for two hours' SOBS baby its not your fault. he was so strong for going back to hopewell and keep living for harlow.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ “i was gone for only two hours. two hours. “i should've never left you,” i whisper, hanging my head as an unbearable ache rips through me-it's guilt, and it's been festering since i found her.”

┆ ⤿ 🪽 ⌗ final thoughts
if this book doesn't show people how just being nice and being a good person could potentially save a persons life or at least let it go on a little longer, i have no hope for the world. and please please please talk to someone if youre having issues of any kind!!


8/29/25 - 8/29/25

[Karen Mc · Rating 3 out of 5]

I honestly don’t know what to rate this book so giving it a mid rating. It’s raw, real and tragic. It tackles tough mental health issues like anxiety, which I battle, depression and more. I am a romance book blogger and thought I was reading a romance … but it’s young adult fiction.

I’m not sure how I even feel about this tale except sadness, hopelessness and despair. I read for an escape, and love tear my heart out reads, but also expect and need HEAs with my novels … no matter how hard fought they are.

[vi :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ⭐

whoever recommended this book to me, lock your fucking doors

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have more than words, I have tears, lots and lots of tears.
E.K., I remember you talking about writing this book from the gate and all those blood, sweat, and tears, I get it now. I am completely in awe of all your passion that went into this story, your flawless writing, and your strength to rip my heart into two... AGAIN.

5 emotional, wrecked-my-heart and all, and I mean all the turtles, stars!

[Holly Hope · Rating 1 out of 5]

I do not understand everyone saying ‘a must read for teens’! This is NOT the message I would want to send to my teen much less a person struggling with these very real mental health issues. The author is basically saying, ‘it’s ok to un-alive yourself when things get too hard’. Yes it’s really life, yes it happens but we need to help these people not say it’s ok to just leave this world!

[Ashna · Rating 3 out of 5]

i should’ve read the reviews her dying was so unnecessary like i was ready to give it a 5


wait i’m actually so shocked like i had a feeling closer to the end but omg

yeah i’m gonna pretend i never read it…

[S · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was heavy AF. Please read the trigger warnings if you decide to read it.