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Pageboy
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Memoir & Autobiography (2023)"Terminés les moments fugaces, les petites étincelles de bonheur, j’ai embrassé mon identité à bras-le-corps. "
À tout juste vingt ans, Elliot Page éblouit le monde entier dans le rôle phare de Juno. Ce film lui vaut une nomination aux Oscars et marque le début d’une carrière internationale au cinéma.
Mais, en secret, il souffre d’un mal-être indescriptible qui le ronge et le pousse à réprimer de profondes interrogations sur son identité et sa sexualité. Après avoir passé des années à vivre la vie que l’on attendait de lui, il parvient à poser des mots sur sa dysphorie de genre et entame un parcours de transition.
Dans ce texte sincère et bouleversant, Elliot Page nous raconte le cheminement qui l’a mené à faire son coming out trans. Il nous ouvre aussi les portes d’une industrie hollywoodienne en pleine évolution depuis le mouvement #MeToo. À travers des souvenirs sombres ou joyeux, Elliot Page se livre avec sensibilité et justesse dans cet autoportrait lumineux.
À tout juste vingt ans, Elliot Page éblouit le monde entier dans le rôle phare de Juno. Ce film lui vaut une nomination aux Oscars et marque le début d’une carrière internationale au cinéma.
Mais, en secret, il souffre d’un mal-être indescriptible qui le ronge et le pousse à réprimer de profondes interrogations sur son identité et sa sexualité. Après avoir passé des années à vivre la vie que l’on attendait de lui, il parvient à poser des mots sur sa dysphorie de genre et entame un parcours de transition.
Dans ce texte sincère et bouleversant, Elliot Page nous raconte le cheminement qui l’a mené à faire son coming out trans. Il nous ouvre aussi les portes d’une industrie hollywoodienne en pleine évolution depuis le mouvement #MeToo. À travers des souvenirs sombres ou joyeux, Elliot Page se livre avec sensibilité et justesse dans cet autoportrait lumineux.
320 pages, Paperback
First published June 6, 2023
4113 people are currently reading
95641 people want to read
About the author
Elliot Page
5 books918 followersElliot Page is a Canadian actor, producer, director and author. He has received various accolades, including an Academy Award nomination, two BAFTA Awards and Primetime Emmy Award nominations, and a Satellite Award. He appeared on the cover of Time in March 2021, becoming the first openly trans man to do so. His debut book Pageboy was published in June 2023.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 11,447 reviews
October 15, 2023
I always feel so weird giving someone's memoir a 'star rating', particularly if it is someone I like or someone who's had a pretty rough time of it. Elliot Page is both those things, and I was really looking forward to this, read it in a day and felt really disappointed.
The first issue I had was that this is a non linear narrative, which works well with other writing styles and memoirs (hello Maggie Nelson - EP also apparently a fan, excellent taste). I strongly felt it didn't start working for 'Pageboy' until 60% + of the way through. I would imagine if I listened to this rather than reading it, I would've had to rewind several times. Chapters, especially in the first half, aren't really grouped thematically, you constantly jump from age 7 to 22 to 30 to now to 12, events linked with apparently no or little through line. This improves as the book goes on, but I felt a really good editor would've been helpful.
The next issue I had is the rather stunning lack of introspection. There are so many fairly colossal incidents detailed - sexual assaults after sexual assaults, homophobic incidents, violence threatened again and again in a continual stream of one two punches, their magnitude horrifying but all too familiar to those of us who have experienced such similar circumstances as a result of our gender or sexuality. I do not wish to make Elliot ruminate on such things, but to include them, and include no introspective discussion afterwards when the events are so frequent, does a disservice in a sense to the narrative... I didn't come away from this feeling I knew Page any better as a person, just that I know more things that have happened to him, like a NSFW and devastatingly sad Wikipedia entry.
The lack of introspection I found most surprising was that there was no discussion whatsoever of breaking the gender binary of clothing and stereotypes - indeed, Page's conclusion of female children being stuffed into feminine clothing they hate was 'I hated it, because I was a boy', there is nothing that scratches beneath the surface of 'skirts for girls, trousers for boys' from Page's POV, which felt disappointing as someone who is such an icon for gender non conformity and LGBT rights.
As a lesbian, and as most lesbians I’ve come across have experienced, we hated being stuffed into feminine clothes and having our Batman costumes tutted at, and loathed being called girly names and 'pretty'. Other trans memoirs I have read dive into the feelings and emotions behind the stereotypes of clothing and gendered language into something that is sometimes more ethereal and intangible, almost a phenomenological study into the self. Of course, Page not putting pen to paper and including this doesn't negate his identity, experiences or feelings, but it does just leave an extremely shallow view of trans identity being around clothes, stereotypes and 'hating being perceived as a lesbian'.
In fact, towards the very end of the memoir Page lets this very question dangle in mid air before never answering or resolving it. I cannot stress how much homophobia there is in this memoir. To be honest, I've been spat at, assaulted, shouted at, and feel fairly robust in being able to deal with it and talk about it but hell, reading EP's experiences really effected me and I had to put it down a few times. Only the last 9% of the book is about physical transition, so the vast, vast majority of the narrative is around being a closeted 'lesbian' (using Page's own words to describe), being an out 'lesbian' and being metaphorically kicked up and down the societal corridors for it. To include the part about people judging his trans identity as a reaction to homophobia and then just never mention it again after reams and reams of homophobia, is to dangle a question that it seems Page didn't want to answer for whatever reason. Again it is up to him what to include, but by the end there were so many loose threads, with such comparatively little discussion as to what caused the identity shift and acceptance from 'out' lesbianism to - presumably - heterosexual trans man was quite startling.
Another dropped thread is the revelations of Page’s eating disorder, which is quite a large and impactful part of the middle section, and then promptly disappears, further unanswered dangling questions. People have expressed recent concern for Elliot’s weight, which I know public speculation is cruel and unhelpful, so I would’ve thought this would’ve been a chance to comment or resolve, but it turns into another half baked thread abandoned in the mess of the non linear “and then, but before, and now, and then” narrative.
Again, other trans memoirs I have read discuss the convergence of 'crossing over' from being seen as a lesbian or gay man, to public assimilation into heterosexuality by virtue of their gender identity. I've read quite a few books by transmen who were formally lesbians who discussed how difficult they found this aspect of their transitions - feeling like heterosexual dynamics didn't quite suit them, feeling of losing a community, feeling like they were joining an oppressor class (male) and sometimes feelings of guilt for this. Again nothing, zero, zilch. There are only two mentions of romantic life post transition - one where Elliot is so full of self loathing it breaks my heart, saying he is meeting a girl from the internet for a date, and he wonders if she is only meeting him as 'a joke' because of his transition. The other is with highly sexualised language (go for it pal), in which Page refers to his natal genitals as his 'pussy' and liking being 'fucked' in his pussy. I hope people realise that not all trans men like that kinda language (obviously EP can like what he likes!).
Some memoirs I feel I 'know' the people they're discussing, the primary and secondary characters in their lives - Viola Davis's recent memoir and Maggie Nelson again come to mind - such is the power of their communicative writing. Everyone around Page felt frustratingly one dimensional, including his mother, whose backstory would've been contextually helpful to know at the beginning, but instead was given around 70% of the way through?
I was a big fan of Juno as a teenager, but a bigger fan of Gaycation. To my disappointment, that incredibly important series was mentioned I believe only one time, when Page talked to a trans woman about her identity and she affirmed his. I feel that this was an incredibly wasted opportunity - Page got to travel the world and meet some of the most interesting LGBT people living in the most diverse political and cultural landscapes. To have even a bit of discussion of the toll this must've taken on him, meeting people whose parents hated them, who lived in huts in mountains to escape homophobia, who were beaten in streets by police, I feel would've made me feel I knew Page a bit more off camera.
Considering Page's role as - at one time - the most famous Millennial lesbian, I was a bit disappointed that there was so much unending homophobia (which, trust me, I know is also true of life!), but then Page's marriage to Emma was only mentioned in past tense ('my ex spouse'). I suppose this may be to protect Emma's privacy which I understand, but to not have even a moment of beauty in the progress of marriage equality and Elliot's privilege in being able to receive it at a time when only roughly 30/190 countries worldwide had advanced to marriage equality is a shame.
The memoir ends very abruptly with a sort of 'top surgery and all was well' angle, but again I would be interested to know why EP chose top surgery before testosterone, which is fairly unusual practice with trans men's medical treatment in the US. Give me something but tales of homophobia EP, I beg of you! There was so little discussion of transition, of the potential fears, pitfalls, the new fangled joy, that I was very surprised when I hit the 'Acknowledgements' section. I feel this could've been an excellent book in a few years time, but it felt so rushed and jumbled. I'm sure it would've been planned for pride month release purposefully, but even just a few more months, or a longer book (love me a long memoir), could've been brilliant. So much potential, and there are some really nice bits of poetic prose, but ultimately squandered.
Also, I hope Kate Mara gave permission for those very.. intimate.. details! Ahem.
Still think you're great Elliot, just wanted so much more!!
Edit: grammatical errors
The first issue I had was that this is a non linear narrative, which works well with other writing styles and memoirs (hello Maggie Nelson - EP also apparently a fan, excellent taste). I strongly felt it didn't start working for 'Pageboy' until 60% + of the way through. I would imagine if I listened to this rather than reading it, I would've had to rewind several times. Chapters, especially in the first half, aren't really grouped thematically, you constantly jump from age 7 to 22 to 30 to now to 12, events linked with apparently no or little through line. This improves as the book goes on, but I felt a really good editor would've been helpful.
The next issue I had is the rather stunning lack of introspection. There are so many fairly colossal incidents detailed - sexual assaults after sexual assaults, homophobic incidents, violence threatened again and again in a continual stream of one two punches, their magnitude horrifying but all too familiar to those of us who have experienced such similar circumstances as a result of our gender or sexuality. I do not wish to make Elliot ruminate on such things, but to include them, and include no introspective discussion afterwards when the events are so frequent, does a disservice in a sense to the narrative... I didn't come away from this feeling I knew Page any better as a person, just that I know more things that have happened to him, like a NSFW and devastatingly sad Wikipedia entry.
The lack of introspection I found most surprising was that there was no discussion whatsoever of breaking the gender binary of clothing and stereotypes - indeed, Page's conclusion of female children being stuffed into feminine clothing they hate was 'I hated it, because I was a boy', there is nothing that scratches beneath the surface of 'skirts for girls, trousers for boys' from Page's POV, which felt disappointing as someone who is such an icon for gender non conformity and LGBT rights.
As a lesbian, and as most lesbians I’ve come across have experienced, we hated being stuffed into feminine clothes and having our Batman costumes tutted at, and loathed being called girly names and 'pretty'. Other trans memoirs I have read dive into the feelings and emotions behind the stereotypes of clothing and gendered language into something that is sometimes more ethereal and intangible, almost a phenomenological study into the self. Of course, Page not putting pen to paper and including this doesn't negate his identity, experiences or feelings, but it does just leave an extremely shallow view of trans identity being around clothes, stereotypes and 'hating being perceived as a lesbian'.
In fact, towards the very end of the memoir Page lets this very question dangle in mid air before never answering or resolving it. I cannot stress how much homophobia there is in this memoir. To be honest, I've been spat at, assaulted, shouted at, and feel fairly robust in being able to deal with it and talk about it but hell, reading EP's experiences really effected me and I had to put it down a few times. Only the last 9% of the book is about physical transition, so the vast, vast majority of the narrative is around being a closeted 'lesbian' (using Page's own words to describe), being an out 'lesbian' and being metaphorically kicked up and down the societal corridors for it. To include the part about people judging his trans identity as a reaction to homophobia and then just never mention it again after reams and reams of homophobia, is to dangle a question that it seems Page didn't want to answer for whatever reason. Again it is up to him what to include, but by the end there were so many loose threads, with such comparatively little discussion as to what caused the identity shift and acceptance from 'out' lesbianism to - presumably - heterosexual trans man was quite startling.
Another dropped thread is the revelations of Page’s eating disorder, which is quite a large and impactful part of the middle section, and then promptly disappears, further unanswered dangling questions. People have expressed recent concern for Elliot’s weight, which I know public speculation is cruel and unhelpful, so I would’ve thought this would’ve been a chance to comment or resolve, but it turns into another half baked thread abandoned in the mess of the non linear “and then, but before, and now, and then” narrative.
Again, other trans memoirs I have read discuss the convergence of 'crossing over' from being seen as a lesbian or gay man, to public assimilation into heterosexuality by virtue of their gender identity. I've read quite a few books by transmen who were formally lesbians who discussed how difficult they found this aspect of their transitions - feeling like heterosexual dynamics didn't quite suit them, feeling of losing a community, feeling like they were joining an oppressor class (male) and sometimes feelings of guilt for this. Again nothing, zero, zilch. There are only two mentions of romantic life post transition - one where Elliot is so full of self loathing it breaks my heart, saying he is meeting a girl from the internet for a date, and he wonders if she is only meeting him as 'a joke' because of his transition. The other is with highly sexualised language (go for it pal), in which Page refers to his natal genitals as his 'pussy' and liking being 'fucked' in his pussy. I hope people realise that not all trans men like that kinda language (obviously EP can like what he likes!).
Some memoirs I feel I 'know' the people they're discussing, the primary and secondary characters in their lives - Viola Davis's recent memoir and Maggie Nelson again come to mind - such is the power of their communicative writing. Everyone around Page felt frustratingly one dimensional, including his mother, whose backstory would've been contextually helpful to know at the beginning, but instead was given around 70% of the way through?
I was a big fan of Juno as a teenager, but a bigger fan of Gaycation. To my disappointment, that incredibly important series was mentioned I believe only one time, when Page talked to a trans woman about her identity and she affirmed his. I feel that this was an incredibly wasted opportunity - Page got to travel the world and meet some of the most interesting LGBT people living in the most diverse political and cultural landscapes. To have even a bit of discussion of the toll this must've taken on him, meeting people whose parents hated them, who lived in huts in mountains to escape homophobia, who were beaten in streets by police, I feel would've made me feel I knew Page a bit more off camera.
Considering Page's role as - at one time - the most famous Millennial lesbian, I was a bit disappointed that there was so much unending homophobia (which, trust me, I know is also true of life!), but then Page's marriage to Emma was only mentioned in past tense ('my ex spouse'). I suppose this may be to protect Emma's privacy which I understand, but to not have even a moment of beauty in the progress of marriage equality and Elliot's privilege in being able to receive it at a time when only roughly 30/190 countries worldwide had advanced to marriage equality is a shame.
The memoir ends very abruptly with a sort of 'top surgery and all was well' angle, but again I would be interested to know why EP chose top surgery before testosterone, which is fairly unusual practice with trans men's medical treatment in the US. Give me something but tales of homophobia EP, I beg of you! There was so little discussion of transition, of the potential fears, pitfalls, the new fangled joy, that I was very surprised when I hit the 'Acknowledgements' section. I feel this could've been an excellent book in a few years time, but it felt so rushed and jumbled. I'm sure it would've been planned for pride month release purposefully, but even just a few more months, or a longer book (love me a long memoir), could've been brilliant. So much potential, and there are some really nice bits of poetic prose, but ultimately squandered.
Also, I hope Kate Mara gave permission for those very.. intimate.. details! Ahem.
Still think you're great Elliot, just wanted so much more!!
Edit: grammatical errors
March 27, 2024
The title "Pageboy" is so perfect I wanted to give this book 5 stars just for that.
--
This memoir describes a truly heartbreaking experience with homophobia and gender dysphoria, as well as a pretty bleak look at the abuse that goes on within the entertainment industry, but with a hopeful / optimistic ending. I learned a lot more about Elliot Page's life and thought his writing style was lyrical and poetic. When he said he was a Maggie Nelson fan it all made sense.
However, what the book provides in description, it also lacks in analysis or introspection. It kind of reads like a list of stories, without really ruminating on them properly - often the only analysis comes from his therapist. I wanted a few more insights from the author, I suppose.
The structure is also quite messy and there are a lot of incidents where you're halfway through hearing a story before realising we've gone back in time to adolescence or jumped forward 5 years into Elliot's career. This makes it hard to contextualise and is quite confusing, since I'm sure most people reading won't remember the exact order of Elliot Page's filmography. A lot of people, themes, and events are just picked up and then dropped so sometimes it feels a bit random.
Read as part of the Trans Rights Readathon! I highly recommend the audiobook as Elliot Page narrates it beautifully.
--
This memoir describes a truly heartbreaking experience with homophobia and gender dysphoria, as well as a pretty bleak look at the abuse that goes on within the entertainment industry, but with a hopeful / optimistic ending. I learned a lot more about Elliot Page's life and thought his writing style was lyrical and poetic. When he said he was a Maggie Nelson fan it all made sense.
However, what the book provides in description, it also lacks in analysis or introspection. It kind of reads like a list of stories, without really ruminating on them properly - often the only analysis comes from his therapist. I wanted a few more insights from the author, I suppose.
The structure is also quite messy and there are a lot of incidents where you're halfway through hearing a story before realising we've gone back in time to adolescence or jumped forward 5 years into Elliot's career. This makes it hard to contextualise and is quite confusing, since I'm sure most people reading won't remember the exact order of Elliot Page's filmography. A lot of people, themes, and events are just picked up and then dropped so sometimes it feels a bit random.
Read as part of the Trans Rights Readathon! I highly recommend the audiobook as Elliot Page narrates it beautifully.
November 9, 2023
not my bf in his writer era
July 4, 2023
I liked this memoir more than I thought I would based on some of the negative reviews I read! In particular, I enjoyed reading Elliot Page’s raw reflections about his life, both related to his trans identity and his family dynamics. Though he uses a nonlinear frame in Pageboy, I still felt invested in the memoir because he writes each scene with enough specific detail that I could visualize his experiences and get a strong sense of his emotions. I found the nonlinear approach effective in this memoir because Page has a *lot* of trauma and life stuff broadly to share about, including parental stuff, coming out as a lesbian initially, then coming out as trans, sexual trauma, messy relationships, connecting with nature, and more. Getting snippets from each component of his life as opposed to a linear timeline of everything probably saved this memoir from being 600 pages long.
I hovered around a 3.5 for a lot of this book so I’ll share what tipped me over to a four. First, I did get a sense of Page’s genuine healing and self-growth in this book, such as when he reflected about how he’s working on his attachment issues, setting better boundaries, and going to therapy. He also acknowledges his privilege, especially in regard to his wealth, which is something I appreciate in art. He doesn’t do it in an in-your-face “I have X privilege and Y privilege which means I was able to do A thing and B thing,” rather, he slips it in in ways that felt both subtle and important (though perhaps he could’ve named the problems with the cult of celebrity that contributed to people being obsessed with him in the first place, but anyway.) I liked too that he was real about his family estrangement and his separation from his father and his father’s current wife. Bio family members can be toxic, unwilling to change, and totally oppressive, and in my opinion it’s great for more people to be honest about that (my favorite read of the year so far, the novel Post-Traumatic by Chantal Johnson, addresses family estrangement from the perspective of Black Latinx woman. Would highly recommend this novel.)
I don’t think this was a perfect memoir and I agree with other reviewers that Page could have tightened up some of the different narrative threads or provided a little more direct reflection on his emotional growth and healing journey. Still, with the rampant, horrible, just heinous transphobia in the United States right now, I do believe it’s courageous for him to share this account, even with his white privilege, wealth privilege, immense social capital, etc. Curious what others think of this one!
I hovered around a 3.5 for a lot of this book so I’ll share what tipped me over to a four. First, I did get a sense of Page’s genuine healing and self-growth in this book, such as when he reflected about how he’s working on his attachment issues, setting better boundaries, and going to therapy. He also acknowledges his privilege, especially in regard to his wealth, which is something I appreciate in art. He doesn’t do it in an in-your-face “I have X privilege and Y privilege which means I was able to do A thing and B thing,” rather, he slips it in in ways that felt both subtle and important (though perhaps he could’ve named the problems with the cult of celebrity that contributed to people being obsessed with him in the first place, but anyway.) I liked too that he was real about his family estrangement and his separation from his father and his father’s current wife. Bio family members can be toxic, unwilling to change, and totally oppressive, and in my opinion it’s great for more people to be honest about that (my favorite read of the year so far, the novel Post-Traumatic by Chantal Johnson, addresses family estrangement from the perspective of Black Latinx woman. Would highly recommend this novel.)
I don’t think this was a perfect memoir and I agree with other reviewers that Page could have tightened up some of the different narrative threads or provided a little more direct reflection on his emotional growth and healing journey. Still, with the rampant, horrible, just heinous transphobia in the United States right now, I do believe it’s courageous for him to share this account, even with his white privilege, wealth privilege, immense social capital, etc. Curious what others think of this one!
January 16, 2024
I like Elliot Page; he seems grounded, down to earth, and has been through a lot in life. It was interesting getting behind the scenes info with his movies and life. From a technical point though, I've enjoyed other memoirs more. We jump around a lot in this book which made it feel less cohesive.
Want to read
December 14, 2022he look good as hell on the cover teehee
June 7, 2023
As a trans person, I really wanted to like this book. I had already purchased it months before it was out. Yesterday, I listened to the whole book on Audible. Well, yuck. The book was a confusing mix of time periods in Elliot's life. It was obvious what was from his childhood, but the material from his adulthood was totally confusing. I couldn't tell when what circumstance he was talking about occurred. Was it before the last one? After the one before that? I think a timeline would be necessary to figure out this jumble of stories. Also, he threw out first names of famous people as if I ought to know the person by their first name only. Well, maybe I'm too old, but who the heck are these people? Why should I care? Finally, Page's writing style was very stylized. I don't know if that's how he actually thinks or if he was just trying too hard to sound interesting and intellectual. Now, to be truthful on my part, I gave Page an extra star because he tried to explain the trans experience; although, he didn't do a very good job. If I were going to rate the book just on its own merits, it would be 2 stars.
June 12, 2023
IF IT WASNT ELLIOT PAGE THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A DNF!!! Hear me out - I do not want to rate anyone’s memoir a one star. Especially someone who’s had a journey like Elliot’s. But holy wow this book was TERRIBLE. I was looking forward to this for the last 6+ months.
what even is it….? A stream of consciousness? Stories? Poems? A memoir? Notes from a journal? How horrible - he doesn’t get vulnerable, doesn’t use his platform to advocate, and WHAT THE HECK IS ALL THAT TEA ABOUT KATE MARA?! It’s the only legitimate writing, but too bad it’s so graphic - all for nothing really. Just to brag about Kate…? He doesn’t even thank her in his acknowledgments….this felt like a really privileged white male thinking he’s important. It felt so deeply disrespectful the way he talked about Kate. Skip it - DNF. For queer readers like myself - do not expect any deep dives, any relatable experience, or honestly, anything we’d want representing the majority of our stories. Elliot likes the sound of his own voice in this book is the vibe I got. Nothing worthwhile to share or read - if he wasn’t famous, this book probably wouldn’t exist. Those slamming down five stars just because this is EP, are helping to silence more important queer memoirs that aren’t being elevated (especially during pride month) because of Elliot’s PR push.
The lack of any linear or planned storyline is noticeable. It feels rushed, it feels like he felt people wanted to hear his story - yet he’s wildly protective of it - and honestly? It flopped. Pride month money run…? Feels like it. Could have benefited from several rounds of editing, a bit more introspection, and a lot more thoughtful storytelling. I’m leaving liking Elliot less which was not the plan considering I’m obsessed with his work. Bummer all around.
what even is it….? A stream of consciousness? Stories? Poems? A memoir? Notes from a journal? How horrible - he doesn’t get vulnerable, doesn’t use his platform to advocate, and WHAT THE HECK IS ALL THAT TEA ABOUT KATE MARA?! It’s the only legitimate writing, but too bad it’s so graphic - all for nothing really. Just to brag about Kate…? He doesn’t even thank her in his acknowledgments….this felt like a really privileged white male thinking he’s important. It felt so deeply disrespectful the way he talked about Kate. Skip it - DNF. For queer readers like myself - do not expect any deep dives, any relatable experience, or honestly, anything we’d want representing the majority of our stories. Elliot likes the sound of his own voice in this book is the vibe I got. Nothing worthwhile to share or read - if he wasn’t famous, this book probably wouldn’t exist. Those slamming down five stars just because this is EP, are helping to silence more important queer memoirs that aren’t being elevated (especially during pride month) because of Elliot’s PR push.
The lack of any linear or planned storyline is noticeable. It feels rushed, it feels like he felt people wanted to hear his story - yet he’s wildly protective of it - and honestly? It flopped. Pride month money run…? Feels like it. Could have benefited from several rounds of editing, a bit more introspection, and a lot more thoughtful storytelling. I’m leaving liking Elliot less which was not the plan considering I’m obsessed with his work. Bummer all around.
June 4, 2023
i am but a simple bitch. elliot page speaks, and i listen. excited to see you go off king!
June 21, 2023
“Let me just exist with you, happier than ever.”
the minute i started the book i knew elliot was a reader. he has such a way of writing and describing details and feelings that you can tell this is someone who gets lost in other worlds. and i am a huge fan of it! i also loved the nonlinear storytelling elliot choose. as an adhd girlie, i tend to be all over the place when it comes to sharing stories and experiences. so reading this book felt like i was sitting down and having a conversation with elliot rather than reading a memoir. anyways, this was one of, if not my most, anticipated releases of the year and i devoured every second of it.
the minute i started the book i knew elliot was a reader. he has such a way of writing and describing details and feelings that you can tell this is someone who gets lost in other worlds. and i am a huge fan of it! i also loved the nonlinear storytelling elliot choose. as an adhd girlie, i tend to be all over the place when it comes to sharing stories and experiences. so reading this book felt like i was sitting down and having a conversation with elliot rather than reading a memoir. anyways, this was one of, if not my most, anticipated releases of the year and i devoured every second of it.
June 28, 2023
This memoir was a bit of a mixed bag for me. I thought some of his writing on a sentence level was really great but the unchronological and disconnected vignette style got a little repetitive about half way through, and I think that's because a lot of the chapters are rehashing truly terrible homophobic shit that happened to them (tbh, that stuff was hard to read as a queer person!) but without any introspection or value added to what was otherwise a retelling of a horrible event. Because there (deliberately) isn't an overall narrative arc, I think the individual pieces needed something to elevate and add significance to them, and more often than not they didn't have that.
The strongest vignettes are about Page's childhood and youth, I suspect because he has enough distance and ability to reflect on them, which he might not have on his life in his 20s and 30s. I loved the details of Halifax and Nova Scotia and how he brought in some history like the Halifax explosion. Page's audiobook narration was also fantastic. I'm glad we have this book, but I can't help but feel Elliot Page wrote it a bit before he was ready. There's a small amount of joy near the end after they come out as trans and I wish the book had more of that!
The strongest vignettes are about Page's childhood and youth, I suspect because he has enough distance and ability to reflect on them, which he might not have on his life in his 20s and 30s. I loved the details of Halifax and Nova Scotia and how he brought in some history like the Halifax explosion. Page's audiobook narration was also fantastic. I'm glad we have this book, but I can't help but feel Elliot Page wrote it a bit before he was ready. There's a small amount of joy near the end after they come out as trans and I wish the book had more of that!
July 7, 2023
An important and interesting memoir on the content level, but the writing, the pacing, and the composition are lacking: Elliot Page tells a very personal story about his realizations regarding his sexuality and gender, and about harassment and abuse in the film industry. It's probably hard to over-estimate the societal value of his public activism that comes with turning the private political, but on the narrative level, this is a mess. People like Kim de l'Horizon, Joshua Whitehead, Jayrôme C. Robinet, or Andrea Lawlor have shown how questions of gender can be approached with regards to language and aesthetics, and Page does - nothing in that regard.
And even if you lower your standards, looking at the book as a conventionally told story, the time jumps are disorientating and add nothing, it tends to feel repetitive, and plot holes abound: Motivations often remain unclear, and people are frequently so superficially rendered that it's very hard to keep them apart. It's also true that we learn almost nothing about the production of the films Page partook in, but alas, this is not supposed to be the thematic focus here, so it's probably unfair to criticize.
Most of the book focuses on childhood trauma, sexual shame, and Page's coming-of-age as a cis lesbian in the spotlight - the transition is only a topic at the end. So while this is clearly an important and also an interesting book, it's not necessarily a very good one.
And even if you lower your standards, looking at the book as a conventionally told story, the time jumps are disorientating and add nothing, it tends to feel repetitive, and plot holes abound: Motivations often remain unclear, and people are frequently so superficially rendered that it's very hard to keep them apart. It's also true that we learn almost nothing about the production of the films Page partook in, but alas, this is not supposed to be the thematic focus here, so it's probably unfair to criticize.
Most of the book focuses on childhood trauma, sexual shame, and Page's coming-of-age as a cis lesbian in the spotlight - the transition is only a topic at the end. So while this is clearly an important and also an interesting book, it's not necessarily a very good one.
December 17, 2023
super fucking tender!!
i audibly gasped when i first saw the cover of this book. i was so thrilled to see elliot has written something! i'm not an extreme fan, but i've appreciated his work ever since the day i saw juno in theaters. it's encouraging and satisfying to see him now, finally able to be true to himself.
the audiobook is an intimate experience. so many personal details are shared, and hearing them straight from elliot feels like hearing stories from a friend. i love his voice, its authenticity, so deeply earnest.
i have to say, some of the storytelling choices are weird as hell. many reviewers seem to dislike the fragmentary writing style, which jumps around in time and fills in context as needed. it's a lil disorienting to process all of this: a nonlinear life. but i can also see how it could be the most organic way to write a memoir, following whatever path one's memories may take. i think the nonlinear structure also makes the book feel more conversational.
elliot has fantastic fucking taste in music, and i love how the book is dappled with canadian culture and pieces of canadian history. his little asides about canada ground his story in place among other stories.
the ending feels rushed, but hey, this has been published not terribly long after he began transitioning. he still has more growing to do. i do appreciate the section toward the end where he clarifies that not everything is roses now, and mentions some negative reactions to his coming out as trans. 100% please do not infantilize this grown ass man.
much of the book is about homophobia, dysphoria, sexual assault, disordered eating, and other traumatic events in elliot's life. it's wonderful to see some gender euphoria and trans joy sparking to life toward the end.
in the beginning he talks about how books have helped him and given him solace, so he wants his story to be available to those who may need to hear it. in this regard, the book is absolutely a success. serious admiration for elliot for following his truth and for putting such intimate personal details out into the universe!!
i audibly gasped when i first saw the cover of this book. i was so thrilled to see elliot has written something! i'm not an extreme fan, but i've appreciated his work ever since the day i saw juno in theaters. it's encouraging and satisfying to see him now, finally able to be true to himself.
the audiobook is an intimate experience. so many personal details are shared, and hearing them straight from elliot feels like hearing stories from a friend. i love his voice, its authenticity, so deeply earnest.
i have to say, some of the storytelling choices are weird as hell. many reviewers seem to dislike the fragmentary writing style, which jumps around in time and fills in context as needed. it's a lil disorienting to process all of this: a nonlinear life. but i can also see how it could be the most organic way to write a memoir, following whatever path one's memories may take. i think the nonlinear structure also makes the book feel more conversational.
elliot has fantastic fucking taste in music, and i love how the book is dappled with canadian culture and pieces of canadian history. his little asides about canada ground his story in place among other stories.
the ending feels rushed, but hey, this has been published not terribly long after he began transitioning. he still has more growing to do. i do appreciate the section toward the end where he clarifies that not everything is roses now, and mentions some negative reactions to his coming out as trans. 100% please do not infantilize this grown ass man.
much of the book is about homophobia, dysphoria, sexual assault, disordered eating, and other traumatic events in elliot's life. it's wonderful to see some gender euphoria and trans joy sparking to life toward the end.
in the beginning he talks about how books have helped him and given him solace, so he wants his story to be available to those who may need to hear it. in this regard, the book is absolutely a success. serious admiration for elliot for following his truth and for putting such intimate personal details out into the universe!!
July 1, 2023
THIS IS MY MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE EVER AND EVERY DAY WITHOUT IT HURTS pls i'm currently begging for an advanced copy at work
update
IM FINALLY ABLE TO READ THIS
i love him
update
IM FINALLY ABLE TO READ THIS
i love him
June 8, 2023
random words
One star not for the content, but for the complete lack of structure or order. Completely nonsensical. No flow or continuity of the stories or chapters.
One star not for the content, but for the complete lack of structure or order. Completely nonsensical. No flow or continuity of the stories or chapters.
abandoned
August 30, 2023Perusing reviews of this book, I saw several people write they don't like to criticize memoirs because it's someone's personal story.
I have no such compunctions.
If you publish a book, even if it's your own personal journey and feelings and whatnot, I am going to judge it as any other book. If it's not written well, I'm going to say so.
This book - maybe it gets better, I only read 19% - is boring. And not just boring, there's no structure to it. It jumps all over the place. Back and forth, up and down, I felt like I was watching a tennis match. A very boring tennis match, no Serena Williams or Iga Swiatek here. It's more like me who misses the ball every time.
I like Eliot Page as an actor and am supportive of the trans community (throwing that in because I know I'm going to get shitty comments accusing me of being transphobic solely because I don't like this book). I like to read about transgender people because it's not something I relate to. I want to understand as much as possible so that I can be as supportive as possible.
If I was growing up today, I would probably say I'm non-binary. I was assigned female at birth and, though I like to dress "feminine", I have never felt like a woman and resent having to be a woman with breasts, periods, and the fact that I can get pregnant.
However, I've never felt like a male either, even in my tomboy days, so it's not something I relate to. For this reason I like to read about others' experiences who are transgender.
I just can't do this book though. Along with being boring, it's whiny. I don't do whiny. And as I said above, there's no structure. Eliot is 4, and then 16 and then back to being a kid. I never knew what age he was because it was so back and forth.
The writing is awful too with entire phrases thrown in that seemed to be just filler. For instance, he goes out to eat with someone and this person "sat opposite me, lifting the knife provided to cut hers".
Really? We need to be told that the knife was provided for cutting the food??? Why else would it be on the table at a restaurant, to pick your nose with?
Nope, I can't do this book.
I have no such compunctions.
If you publish a book, even if it's your own personal journey and feelings and whatnot, I am going to judge it as any other book. If it's not written well, I'm going to say so.
This book - maybe it gets better, I only read 19% - is boring. And not just boring, there's no structure to it. It jumps all over the place. Back and forth, up and down, I felt like I was watching a tennis match. A very boring tennis match, no Serena Williams or Iga Swiatek here. It's more like me who misses the ball every time.
I like Eliot Page as an actor and am supportive of the trans community (throwing that in because I know I'm going to get shitty comments accusing me of being transphobic solely because I don't like this book). I like to read about transgender people because it's not something I relate to. I want to understand as much as possible so that I can be as supportive as possible.
If I was growing up today, I would probably say I'm non-binary. I was assigned female at birth and, though I like to dress "feminine", I have never felt like a woman and resent having to be a woman with breasts, periods, and the fact that I can get pregnant.
However, I've never felt like a male either, even in my tomboy days, so it's not something I relate to. For this reason I like to read about others' experiences who are transgender.
I just can't do this book though. Along with being boring, it's whiny. I don't do whiny. And as I said above, there's no structure. Eliot is 4, and then 16 and then back to being a kid. I never knew what age he was because it was so back and forth.
The writing is awful too with entire phrases thrown in that seemed to be just filler. For instance, he goes out to eat with someone and this person "sat opposite me, lifting the knife provided to cut hers".
Really? We need to be told that the knife was provided for cutting the food??? Why else would it be on the table at a restaurant, to pick your nose with?
Nope, I can't do this book.
June 20, 2023
Pageboy details the actor Elliot Page’s life-experiences. From growing up knowing that they identified more as male, but having to suppress that side of themselves as they became a famous actor. To having to hide their sexuality from the public before they bravely came out as gay in 2014. Then as a trans man in late 2020. Elliot uses he/they pronouns.
4 stars from me because narratively, it doesn’t flow as cohesively as it should when jumping from the past to the present day. It is his story to tell, and I respect Elliot immensely, but I would have rather read his experiences growing up more linear. I see a lot of others agreeing here. More editing to shuffle around these chapters would have really helped here. If this has been down, I easily could have rated it higher.
I still think this is a very important book and I would urge anybody to read it, regardless of your own sexual orientation or gender identity. Please retain Elliot’s experiences here, I beg of you.
I think a lot more people need to listen to trans people, allow their voices to be heard and learn about their experiences more overall. There is too much hatred and vitriol out there in this world still. We can work together to help stamp it out, but as a society, we sadly still have a long way to go.
”Hollywood is built on leveraging queerness. Tucking it away when needed, pulling it out when beneficial, while patting themselves on the back. Hollywood doesn't lead the way, it responds, it follows, slowly and far behind. The depth of that closet, the trove of secrets buried, indifferent to the consequences. I was punished for being queer while I watched others be protected and celebrated, who gleefully abused people in the wide open.”
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈💕
4 stars from me because narratively, it doesn’t flow as cohesively as it should when jumping from the past to the present day. It is his story to tell, and I respect Elliot immensely, but I would have rather read his experiences growing up more linear. I see a lot of others agreeing here. More editing to shuffle around these chapters would have really helped here. If this has been down, I easily could have rated it higher.
I still think this is a very important book and I would urge anybody to read it, regardless of your own sexual orientation or gender identity. Please retain Elliot’s experiences here, I beg of you.
I think a lot more people need to listen to trans people, allow their voices to be heard and learn about their experiences more overall. There is too much hatred and vitriol out there in this world still. We can work together to help stamp it out, but as a society, we sadly still have a long way to go.
”Hollywood is built on leveraging queerness. Tucking it away when needed, pulling it out when beneficial, while patting themselves on the back. Hollywood doesn't lead the way, it responds, it follows, slowly and far behind. The depth of that closet, the trove of secrets buried, indifferent to the consequences. I was punished for being queer while I watched others be protected and celebrated, who gleefully abused people in the wide open.”
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈💕
August 30, 2023
Kate Mara’s pseudo open relationship with that guy from the handmaid’s tale was NOT tea that I expected from this book.
This both feels incredibly personal and yet incredibly removed. It's a very purposefully removed narrative voice, cold and crisp, as Elliot goes through details of past experiences, cruelty and otherwise. Some of these stories are incredibly personally, and there's something simultaneously painful and cathartic about reading them. As the book came towards its conclusion, I craved more of an intense emotional connection. It's a very inconclusive memoir, and I think that's on purpose. I wished for a conclusion, but understood this as an artistic choice.
Reviewers taking his experience as a guideline for all trans people should keep in mind that 'textbook' isn't what the 'memoir' genre is intended to be. There's no indication in the text that Elliot Page expects to be seen as a representation for every trans person, and those attempting to read the text as such are doing it a disservice. In other words, I think you should ignore any reviews of this text by cis people critiquing Elliot Page's lived experiences of transness. For example, the review down below on the page that informs us all that Normal trans people don't get top surgery before going on testosterone is misinformed; I've had multiple friends go either direction. There just really isn't a set timeline for transitioning.
I always really struggle to rate and review memoir; I think this is fairly well written considering I think this is his voice, and I think it's worth reading if celebrity memoirs resonate with you. While it didn't entirely resonate with me as a book, it did make me like Elliot Page even more.
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“But I would rather remember, I’d rather the hurt than not—at least I got it love you, at least I felt your love for me.”
This both feels incredibly personal and yet incredibly removed. It's a very purposefully removed narrative voice, cold and crisp, as Elliot goes through details of past experiences, cruelty and otherwise. Some of these stories are incredibly personally, and there's something simultaneously painful and cathartic about reading them. As the book came towards its conclusion, I craved more of an intense emotional connection. It's a very inconclusive memoir, and I think that's on purpose. I wished for a conclusion, but understood this as an artistic choice.
Reviewers taking his experience as a guideline for all trans people should keep in mind that 'textbook' isn't what the 'memoir' genre is intended to be. There's no indication in the text that Elliot Page expects to be seen as a representation for every trans person, and those attempting to read the text as such are doing it a disservice. In other words, I think you should ignore any reviews of this text by cis people critiquing Elliot Page's lived experiences of transness. For example, the review down below on the page that informs us all that Normal trans people don't get top surgery before going on testosterone is misinformed; I've had multiple friends go either direction. There just really isn't a set timeline for transitioning.
I always really struggle to rate and review memoir; I think this is fairly well written considering I think this is his voice, and I think it's worth reading if celebrity memoirs resonate with you. While it didn't entirely resonate with me as a book, it did make me like Elliot Page even more.
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June 9, 2023
I don’t know. This wasn’t the book for me. So disappointed as I love Elliot but this book to me was rude and crass and lots of topics that we definitely didn’t need details on.
June 22, 2023
A bit conflicted on how to rate this, since the story Page tells is so important, gut wrenchingly honest, and NECESSARY considering all the crap that trans people and others in the LGBTQ+ community are now undergoing (AGAIN!) with the draconian measures being legislated by the Rethuglicans (sic) and other conservative forces worldwide. That story is never less than interesting and thought-provoking, and Page CAN write ... but there were a few issues.
As many have pointed out, the author eschews a linear retelling of his life, in favor of bouncing around in time and attempting to tie things together thematically, or just as it occurs to him. Had I not just finished Andrew Rannells' new book right beforehand, which uses a similar template, that probably would have irked me more. But it IS sometimes difficult to tell just where you are timewise, especially as the actor rarely pinpoints such tales with what he is working on at the time, which might have provided welcome signposts to where in his life/career we are.
At least one story from early on in the book is retold almost verbatim in the final chapters, the editor not catching it, or perhaps Page just wanting to reiterate it. And ofttimes, stories seem to dangle unresolved, or lead nowhere. Also, his partners are especially hard to keep track of, as they come and go with great frequency [NB: that isn't intended to be 'slut-shaming' - Page probably had far fewer partners than I did at his age - it's just difficult to keep them all ... ummm ... straight!].
Speaking of his career, frustratingly little insight is given into his work, and what there is seems kind of formulaic - i.e., 'I made this with so and so and either enjoyed it or didn't'. I'm not such a huge fan that I have seen everything he's done on film/TV, but there are some really odd omissions - most egregiously he never once mentions 'Freeheld', the brilliant and intense lesbian true story he both produced and starred in with Julianne Moore, which I would think would have been a highlight. And the audition process for 'Juno' is lined out - but not the actual making of the film ... and his trip to the Academy Awards for it is dispatched in a few sentences, focusing more on what they made him wear than anything else.
For the most part, the prose is always at least competent, and ofttimes quite stirring; at other times, he reaches for something more poetic or flowery, and it lands with a clunk. But again, the story he wanted to tell is heartbreaking, and his anguish at coming to terms with his true self and owning that is both inspiring and admirable. I learned a lot about the trans experience I was not aware of, and if that's not worth 4 stars, I don't know what is...
PS. Oddly BOTH Page and Rannells tell stories illustrating why Hugh Jackman is one of the nicest people in Hollywood - which is nice to know. As is the fact Kate Mara and Max Minghella are so ... progressive! :-O!
As many have pointed out, the author eschews a linear retelling of his life, in favor of bouncing around in time and attempting to tie things together thematically, or just as it occurs to him. Had I not just finished Andrew Rannells' new book right beforehand, which uses a similar template, that probably would have irked me more. But it IS sometimes difficult to tell just where you are timewise, especially as the actor rarely pinpoints such tales with what he is working on at the time, which might have provided welcome signposts to where in his life/career we are.
At least one story from early on in the book is retold almost verbatim in the final chapters, the editor not catching it, or perhaps Page just wanting to reiterate it. And ofttimes, stories seem to dangle unresolved, or lead nowhere. Also, his partners are especially hard to keep track of, as they come and go with great frequency [NB: that isn't intended to be 'slut-shaming' - Page probably had far fewer partners than I did at his age - it's just difficult to keep them all ... ummm ... straight!].
Speaking of his career, frustratingly little insight is given into his work, and what there is seems kind of formulaic - i.e., 'I made this with so and so and either enjoyed it or didn't'. I'm not such a huge fan that I have seen everything he's done on film/TV, but there are some really odd omissions - most egregiously he never once mentions 'Freeheld', the brilliant and intense lesbian true story he both produced and starred in with Julianne Moore, which I would think would have been a highlight. And the audition process for 'Juno' is lined out - but not the actual making of the film ... and his trip to the Academy Awards for it is dispatched in a few sentences, focusing more on what they made him wear than anything else.
For the most part, the prose is always at least competent, and ofttimes quite stirring; at other times, he reaches for something more poetic or flowery, and it lands with a clunk. But again, the story he wanted to tell is heartbreaking, and his anguish at coming to terms with his true self and owning that is both inspiring and admirable. I learned a lot about the trans experience I was not aware of, and if that's not worth 4 stars, I don't know what is...
PS. Oddly BOTH Page and Rannells tell stories illustrating why Hugh Jackman is one of the nicest people in Hollywood - which is nice to know. As is the fact Kate Mara and Max Minghella are so ... progressive! :-O!
October 5, 2024
This has been on my to-read list ever since it came out, and I finally picked it up. This book is an honest, sometimes painfully honest, accounting of Elliot Page's life up until his decision to come out as trans. He grew up in Canada, the child of divorced parents, with a hostile step-mother, an emotionally manipulative father, and overworked mother who initially did not accept his queerness. He started acting in elementary school and found it a freeing creative outlet, even when he hated the overly-girly clothing the roles often forced him into. Like many people who start in the film industry very young, he was taken advantage of sexually by adults who should have kept him safe. These experiences are written about less graphically than the blistering gender dysphoria and numbing disassociation that followed Elliot from his teens into his twenties. He threw himself into movie projects and love affairs, running away from a secret that nearly ate him alive. I'm so grateful that was eventually able to come out, because it really sounds like staying in the closet might have killed him. This book is not written chronologically; chapters center on themes, projects, or relationships. I understand that choice while also wishing that more of then teen chapters had been placed earlier in the book- sometimes the way the book kept slipping backwards in time felt a time bit repetitive. But it also felt honest to the experience of someone who kept backsliding in his ability to be honest with himself, until hitting the rock bottom of mental health, when there was no other choice but to be true.
July 2, 2023
I can see why people are so split on this memoir. It's not a traditional one, certainly not for a celebrity. Page writes about his work the way most people would, not focusing all that much on it except for when it is relevant to why he is in a certain place or doing a certain thing. It is also not a linear memoir, and if you do not like that, well, Page tells you at the very beginning that that's what you are in for.
In a lot of ways this is a very specific and focused memoir, which I find tends to help a book like this find its footing. It is a lot about Page's childhood and growing up, about all the ways his queerness started to show and all the ways it made things difficult. It is about starting to find your footing and identity and how much that can change your life. It is very emotional, very genuine, very vulnerable.
It's best appreciated by just giving yourself over to it, by not having to construct a linear version of Page's life afterwards. Seeing it as more of a pastiche, which I thought worked well, especially since the complexity of queerness and gender don't work in straight lines.
If there is a real weakness, it is when things really dive into relationships, into claiming of a new identity. The relationships part is hard, it's always hard to write about other people when you don't really want to infringe on their privacy, when you don't get a chance to tell their side of the story. And the new identity part is hard because, well, that story is not over. I often find that memoirs are at their weakest when they are about something recent, about something that a person has not really found distance from yet. And I think that's true here. But I will say that I don't think any of that invalidates the value of the memoir. I have certainly read books where I thought, "You should have put this in a drawer and come back in ten years." I don't think that for this book at all. Rather there's something about that new self, the not quite formed, the delicacy and the curiosity that is really important to the story and to a full understanding of what Page wants to say.
There was a lot that was difficult here, I was surprised at how much. But I didn't find myself dwelling all that much on the traumas, I really enjoyed how unapologetically queer the book is and clung to that more than anything else.
I did the audio, and it was great to have Elliot's voice reading.
In a lot of ways this is a very specific and focused memoir, which I find tends to help a book like this find its footing. It is a lot about Page's childhood and growing up, about all the ways his queerness started to show and all the ways it made things difficult. It is about starting to find your footing and identity and how much that can change your life. It is very emotional, very genuine, very vulnerable.
It's best appreciated by just giving yourself over to it, by not having to construct a linear version of Page's life afterwards. Seeing it as more of a pastiche, which I thought worked well, especially since the complexity of queerness and gender don't work in straight lines.
If there is a real weakness, it is when things really dive into relationships, into claiming of a new identity. The relationships part is hard, it's always hard to write about other people when you don't really want to infringe on their privacy, when you don't get a chance to tell their side of the story. And the new identity part is hard because, well, that story is not over. I often find that memoirs are at their weakest when they are about something recent, about something that a person has not really found distance from yet. And I think that's true here. But I will say that I don't think any of that invalidates the value of the memoir. I have certainly read books where I thought, "You should have put this in a drawer and come back in ten years." I don't think that for this book at all. Rather there's something about that new self, the not quite formed, the delicacy and the curiosity that is really important to the story and to a full understanding of what Page wants to say.
There was a lot that was difficult here, I was surprised at how much. But I didn't find myself dwelling all that much on the traumas, I really enjoyed how unapologetically queer the book is and clung to that more than anything else.
I did the audio, and it was great to have Elliot's voice reading.
July 3, 2023
Every time I thought Hollywood couldn’t get more exploitative and gross, it did.
This book has got me thinking about memoirs as a genre, because Page mentions a lot of awful things that happened to him in the film business, but he tends to gloss over them. I often found myself thinking, “Wait, shouldn’t we unpack that??” The memoir might have been stronger if he had really taken the time to dig into these things—but I also feel like that’s an exploitative desire for me to have. Page doesn’t owe it to us to unpack everything where we can see. But also, isn’t that what a memoir is for, to a certain extent?
Thank you to the publisher for providing a copy.
This book has got me thinking about memoirs as a genre, because Page mentions a lot of awful things that happened to him in the film business, but he tends to gloss over them. I often found myself thinking, “Wait, shouldn’t we unpack that??” The memoir might have been stronger if he had really taken the time to dig into these things—but I also feel like that’s an exploitative desire for me to have. Page doesn’t owe it to us to unpack everything where we can see. But also, isn’t that what a memoir is for, to a certain extent?
Thank you to the publisher for providing a copy.
May 29, 2023
The non-linear style made this a bit difficult for me -- I got lost more than a couple times and finally had to surrender myself to the meandering flow. But that also means it felt very personal. Elliot Page takes readers through his thoughts and experiences in an organic way, like talking with a friend.
June 8, 2023
I've always admired Elliot Page as an actor. His work in movies like Hard Candy or An American Crime couldn't be more heartfelt and outstanding and Viktor Hargreeves is my favorite character in The umbrella academy (yep, I've binge watched the entire show).
I also applaud his passionate activism for the human rights of the LGBTQ+ community, and I highly recommend his documentary Gaycation, particularly when he confronts the appalling bigotry of Brazil's former president Jair Bolsonaro, exposing the nauseatingly homophobic views that our society still upholds. Page's unique perspective as a trans Hollywood actor who doesn't shy away from advocating for the less visible lives of other LGBTQ+ folks is a rather important one and I'm looking forward to learning more about him as a person. He's always struck me as an incredibly authentic and fascinating individual.
This book will be released in a month, exactly, and I'm counting the days to read it. I can't wait!
_________________________________
Update on Jun 08, 2023
A sensitive, beautifully written and necessary account, especially for trans and queer people who would like to see their own experiences reflected and validated in empowering stories like this one. Needless to say, an unmissable read for those who simply admire Elliot Page’s extraordinary artistic talents and meaningful acting career.
I can tell an autobiography is worth remembering when I notice the author couldn’t be bothered to camouflage his own imperfections or to manufacture a pristine version of themselves. In this brief memoir, Elliot Page talks genuinely about the mistakes he's made in previous interactions and intimate relationships, reflecting about the ways in which his insecurities have sometimes led to rather negative outcomes. He admits to failings like jealousy and selfishness, as well as a tendency to avoid any conflicts or complex conversations, bottling up his feelings and shutting down instead of trying communicate his needs and expectations. Page also recognizes his privileges and recollects resorting to self-righteousness as a way of assuaging the guilt he feels for benefitting from a system where our comfort and consumerism come at the cost of human lives being neglected and entire ecosystems collapsing. Throughout the book however, a desire to learn and improve remains and the portrait of a compassionate soul emerges amidst the flaws that make him so real and so similar to us.
Voluntarily distancing himself from the pedestal we usually assign to the most talented actors of our time, Page recounts troubles and pains that many still believe to be incompatible with affluent and famous lives, and his narrative is nothing short of heartbreaking at some points. We rarely think that our ordinary experiences with loneliness, low self-esteem, depression and even bullying can also severely affect our favorite actors, but in reality fame often exposes young artists to a myriad of vultures, removing the necessary shield of privacy at a rather vulnerable age and, in certain circumstances, intensifying the pangs of their disillusionment. Page isn't afraid to take a stance against the culture of abuse that continues to go unpunished in Hollywood, calling attention to an evil that still lurks underneath the glamour of red carpets, box-office successes and glistening statuettes. The emotional burden of acting in heart-wrenching movies that depict beyond brutal realities, like An American Crime, is also discussed here, as well as the actor’s struggles with an eating disorder that was further amplified by his gender dysphoria.
I've always enjoyed vaguer and more subtle stories, as they’re a fertile soil where our imagination can flourish, but I also appreciate the intimate, authentic and sensitive way in which the author narrates the intricacies of his life, particularly when he describes his feelings of inadequacy about his sexuality and gender identity. It was deeply moving reading about the erosive and silent shame he endured during his formative years, a shame that so many LGBTQ+ individuals around the world experience anonymously every day. It takes courage to break free from the restrictive standards imposed by a society that claims to uphold equality while still rewarding so many purveyors of discrimination and transphobia, sweeping hate crimes under the rug as if the lives of those who stray from the norms had never truly mattered. I’m hailing from a country with the largest number or murdered trans and queer people in the world and it brings me hope to see someone as famous as Elliot Page trying to help shift this sad paradigm.
At last, I’m glad the person he's always been could finally find a home in his own body, as he now exudes the graceful confidence of those who managed to emerge victorious from the battle against the inclement waters of self-hate. Books like Pageboy are essential for building a world where, one day, all trans and queer people will also feel safe and beloved and empowered enough to declare: I’m fully who I am. Whoever that is.
I also applaud his passionate activism for the human rights of the LGBTQ+ community, and I highly recommend his documentary Gaycation, particularly when he confronts the appalling bigotry of Brazil's former president Jair Bolsonaro, exposing the nauseatingly homophobic views that our society still upholds. Page's unique perspective as a trans Hollywood actor who doesn't shy away from advocating for the less visible lives of other LGBTQ+ folks is a rather important one and I'm looking forward to learning more about him as a person. He's always struck me as an incredibly authentic and fascinating individual.
This book will be released in a month, exactly, and I'm counting the days to read it. I can't wait!
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Update on Jun 08, 2023
A sensitive, beautifully written and necessary account, especially for trans and queer people who would like to see their own experiences reflected and validated in empowering stories like this one. Needless to say, an unmissable read for those who simply admire Elliot Page’s extraordinary artistic talents and meaningful acting career.
I can tell an autobiography is worth remembering when I notice the author couldn’t be bothered to camouflage his own imperfections or to manufacture a pristine version of themselves. In this brief memoir, Elliot Page talks genuinely about the mistakes he's made in previous interactions and intimate relationships, reflecting about the ways in which his insecurities have sometimes led to rather negative outcomes. He admits to failings like jealousy and selfishness, as well as a tendency to avoid any conflicts or complex conversations, bottling up his feelings and shutting down instead of trying communicate his needs and expectations. Page also recognizes his privileges and recollects resorting to self-righteousness as a way of assuaging the guilt he feels for benefitting from a system where our comfort and consumerism come at the cost of human lives being neglected and entire ecosystems collapsing. Throughout the book however, a desire to learn and improve remains and the portrait of a compassionate soul emerges amidst the flaws that make him so real and so similar to us.
Voluntarily distancing himself from the pedestal we usually assign to the most talented actors of our time, Page recounts troubles and pains that many still believe to be incompatible with affluent and famous lives, and his narrative is nothing short of heartbreaking at some points. We rarely think that our ordinary experiences with loneliness, low self-esteem, depression and even bullying can also severely affect our favorite actors, but in reality fame often exposes young artists to a myriad of vultures, removing the necessary shield of privacy at a rather vulnerable age and, in certain circumstances, intensifying the pangs of their disillusionment. Page isn't afraid to take a stance against the culture of abuse that continues to go unpunished in Hollywood, calling attention to an evil that still lurks underneath the glamour of red carpets, box-office successes and glistening statuettes. The emotional burden of acting in heart-wrenching movies that depict beyond brutal realities, like An American Crime, is also discussed here, as well as the actor’s struggles with an eating disorder that was further amplified by his gender dysphoria.
I've always enjoyed vaguer and more subtle stories, as they’re a fertile soil where our imagination can flourish, but I also appreciate the intimate, authentic and sensitive way in which the author narrates the intricacies of his life, particularly when he describes his feelings of inadequacy about his sexuality and gender identity. It was deeply moving reading about the erosive and silent shame he endured during his formative years, a shame that so many LGBTQ+ individuals around the world experience anonymously every day. It takes courage to break free from the restrictive standards imposed by a society that claims to uphold equality while still rewarding so many purveyors of discrimination and transphobia, sweeping hate crimes under the rug as if the lives of those who stray from the norms had never truly mattered. I’m hailing from a country with the largest number or murdered trans and queer people in the world and it brings me hope to see someone as famous as Elliot Page trying to help shift this sad paradigm.
At last, I’m glad the person he's always been could finally find a home in his own body, as he now exudes the graceful confidence of those who managed to emerge victorious from the battle against the inclement waters of self-hate. Books like Pageboy are essential for building a world where, one day, all trans and queer people will also feel safe and beloved and empowered enough to declare: I’m fully who I am. Whoever that is.
September 5, 2023
I loved the movie Juno and thought that Page was a fine actor in it. I hadn’t known that much about Page’s personal life. I remember them coming out as gay and I knew that he was trans but that was about it.
I really enjoyed this memoir. I loved the back and forth in time, with his personal memories and also with the world at large such as some interesting Canadian history. When in Los Angeles, New York City, Nova Scotia, Oregon, etc. etc. I felt as though I was there.
All the “name dropping” makes sense here since this the author has been an actor since childhood and these are his friends and the people that he knows. He acknowledges his privilege as well as his struggles.
I was outraged on his behalf not only of the difficulties he faced to be able to be himself and to be accepted for who he is but also of the treatment he experienced by some adult (and same age) family members he faced when he was young. Friends too. I appreciated his honesty about so much. I could feel his pain and joy on the pages.
This is a well written and at times poetic book. The descriptions of people, places, relationships, and to himself are vivid and well said.
He does a good job describing his gender dysphonia over the years from a very young age until well into his adulthood. I was both surprised and not surprised about his feelings of confusion and his levels of awareness.
I think this is a valuable book and hope that it will help people have empathy and more understanding for trans and queer people and maybe for themselves for whoever they are and whatever they’re going through.
I hope when he reaches an older age (maybe much older) that he writes another memoir.
A personal aside: His smoking drove me crazy but tobacco smoking always drives me crazy. I hope that he no longer smokes or will stop.
I have to add that I am appalled at the treatment of the author (and other trans/queer people) by others, those they know and people in the public they don't know. We are a sometimes cruel species. Give me dogs any day.
I really enjoyed this memoir. I loved the back and forth in time, with his personal memories and also with the world at large such as some interesting Canadian history. When in Los Angeles, New York City, Nova Scotia, Oregon, etc. etc. I felt as though I was there.
All the “name dropping” makes sense here since this the author has been an actor since childhood and these are his friends and the people that he knows. He acknowledges his privilege as well as his struggles.
I was outraged on his behalf not only of the difficulties he faced to be able to be himself and to be accepted for who he is but also of the treatment he experienced by some adult (and same age) family members he faced when he was young. Friends too. I appreciated his honesty about so much. I could feel his pain and joy on the pages.
This is a well written and at times poetic book. The descriptions of people, places, relationships, and to himself are vivid and well said.
He does a good job describing his gender dysphonia over the years from a very young age until well into his adulthood. I was both surprised and not surprised about his feelings of confusion and his levels of awareness.
I think this is a valuable book and hope that it will help people have empathy and more understanding for trans and queer people and maybe for themselves for whoever they are and whatever they’re going through.
I hope when he reaches an older age (maybe much older) that he writes another memoir.
A personal aside: His smoking drove me crazy but tobacco smoking always drives me crazy. I hope that he no longer smokes or will stop.
I have to add that I am appalled at the treatment of the author (and other trans/queer people) by others, those they know and people in the public they don't know. We are a sometimes cruel species. Give me dogs any day.
December 21, 2023
This is going to be a tough one to review!
September 19, 2024
Zaznaczam, że oceniam wyłącznie warsztat pisarski/tłumaczenie. Sposób przedstawienia poszczególnych wspomnień był tak chaotyczny i wyrywkowy, że lektura po prostu mnie zmęczyła. Ciężko było się odnaleźć we wszelkich anegdotach, a jakakolwiek chronologia nie istniała. Same przeżycia i doświadczenie tej osoby są niezwykle cenne dla queerowej społeczności, a jako cis kobieta nie jestem w miejscu, w którym mogłabym się do nich odnieść, ale niestety forma mnie rozczarowała.
January 5, 2024
Przesłanie książki i wiele myśli autora SĄ ŚWIETNE. Uważam, że powinniście ją przeczytać tylko dla tych kilku myśli. Tylko po to, żeby poczuć to coś, co autor chce żebyście (współ)odczuli. Zwłaszcza jeśli jesteście cis - może nigdy nie uda się być Wam bliżej doświadczenia transpłciowości (jednego z doświadczeń).
NATOMIAST ja już samx mam to doświadczenie i chyba nie potrzebuję bardziej zbliżać się do TAK prywatnej narracji. Fragmenty o ✨️kupie✨️ to już trochę ZBYT SZCZERE elementy tej książki, które sprawiały, że czułxm się niekomfortowo. To zostawia mnie z pytaniem: jak prywatne powinny być książki gwiazd o ich prywatnym doświadczeniu?
NATOMIAST ja już samx mam to doświadczenie i chyba nie potrzebuję bardziej zbliżać się do TAK prywatnej narracji. Fragmenty o ✨️kupie✨️ to już trochę ZBYT SZCZERE elementy tej książki, które sprawiały, że czułxm się niekomfortowo. To zostawia mnie z pytaniem: jak prywatne powinny być książki gwiazd o ich prywatnym doświadczeniu?
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