Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life

by Dr Kirren Schnack

'With Dr Kirren’s warm, practical and expert advice for managing anxiety, you’ll learn how to stop surviving and start thriving.' – Vex King, author of Good Vibes, Good Life.

Feeling better starts now.

Dr Kirren Schnack is here to tell you that your anxiety isn’t here to stay. Whether you’re going through something and need support to feel like yourself again, or if you have been dealing with anxious thoughts for a long time, Ten Times Calmer has the help you’ve been looking for.

Dr Kirren is an Oxford trained and practicing NHS clinical psychologist with twenty years’ experience and half a million social media followers. In Ten Times Calmer she offers a first aid kit of tools to help you understand what you’re going through and change how you’re feeling – and it might just be easier than you think.

Not everyone has access to therapy and not everyone needs it, but we could all do with a little more calm in our lives. The ten chapters cover everything from dealing with anxious thoughts and stress to managing uncertainty and safely tackling trauma, each takes you a step closer to an anxiety-free life. Inside you’ll find short anxiety busting exercises with a big impact and a toolkit of well-researched and clinically proven tips that will help you find calm each and every day.

‘The help you need is in this book, and I'm going to show you how simply and clearly you can beat anxiety and change your life.’ – Dr Kirren

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Health, Personal Development

417 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 14, 2023

Reviews

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ten Times Calmer offers helpful advice for dealing with anxiety. I also found the scenarios for triggers and reasons for anxiety very relatable. We tend to convince ourselves that there's a problem. That problem feeds our anxiety and brings with it unpleasant sensations. Viewing these sensations as evidence of a problem keeps you stuck in a cycle of fear. These sensations and your misinterpretation of them are huge factors in maintaining your anxiety.

We need the anxiety to work for us, so it boosts our functioning rather than impairing our ability. When anxiety becomes a problem, it interferes with day-to-day life. It might be general anxiety, health anxiety, feelings of panic, or social anxiety.

Some useful strategies and advice:

Avoidance seems helpful because it removes you from a scary situation, but avoiding things or situations makes your mind internalize the message that you can't cope, and you never get to learn that you can cope.

Thank your mind and name the story.
When your mind presents you with a story about your anxiety and urgest you to engage with it, follow these steps:
Start by thanking your mind for its contribution, and then label the story you're experiencing like this: 'Thank you mind for reminding me of your opinion, this is the "you're going to fain again" story.' As more anxious stories appear, keep on acknowledging them as a product of your mind, thank your mind for its contribution, label each story, and then let it go. Here are some examples of more stories:
• Oh look, there's a replay of the, 'You're get sick' story.
• This is the 'There's something wrong with you' story.
• That's the 'Everybody is looking at you and judging you' story.
• That's the 'You'll have a heart attack' story again.

Practice 'even if' and 'so what.'
Another way to deal with what-ifs is to work through what you could do if they did end up happening. First, note down the what-if of a question-based thought like this: 'What if I can't get my words out when I'm talking to them' Then answer yourself from a place of compassion and understanding with an explanation of 'even if' and 'so what' included. Here's an example: I might feel anxious, and I do worry about getting my words out. Even if that does happen, and it might be silent for a little while, they'll wait for me to speak. I might feel awkward, but I've never gone permanently silent. Here is another example: What if I faint? I'm often worried about fainting. No wonder I feel anxious about it again. Even if I did faint, someone would get help, and I'd be fine.

There are some excellent exercises and strategies, but some were repetitive, and the information overload made me a bit anxious. The book was a lot to absorb and written in a more serious tone, in my opinion. Overall, it did have some good techniques and teaches you how to feel how you feel because feelings just are. 

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve listened to my share of books about PTSD and anxiety and this one is by far the best.

I developed PTSD a few years ago after a car accident and was fortunate to have someone in my life who recognized the symptoms and knew enough about various treatments to recommend EMDR. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of EMDR practitioners in my area, which was further limited to my new found fear of being in cars, so I found myself on a 7 month waitlist for treatment with a practitioner who was in close proximity.

This book is no replacement for professional help but the treatments are very similar to what I experienced, paralleling many of the techniques and tools that I learned in therapy. Since mental wellness is in no way linear, I am glad to have come across this book for times when I feel like I’m backsliding.

To listen straight through, the book itself is a little tedious and redundant, detailing techniques followed by examples, however the author does not recommend this, rather she suggests in the beginning to skip to relevant chapters. There are also some great guided relaxation/grounding exercises in chapter 3, as well as 16 & 17.

[January · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr. Kirren Schnack
12h 44m narrated by the Author - Dr. Kirren Schnack, 304 HB, 416 PB, and 534 EB pages

Genre: Nonfiction, Self-Improvement, Psychology

Featuring: Disclaimer, Feeling Anxious in Phases Vs Clinical Anxiety, Get Your Notebook, Exercises, Tasks, Lists, Recapping Chapters, Understanding Your Anxiety, Triggers, Types of Anxious Behaviors, Changing Your Relationship With Anxiety, Going From Inflexibility to Flexibility, Stories Anxiety Tells You, Anxiety Traps, Lavender, Calming a Stressed Nervous System, Adrenaline, Cortisol, Anxious Thoughts, Anxious Thinking Patterns, Stop Suppressing Anxious Thoughts, Monitoring Thoughts, Worst Case Scenario Vs Best Case Scenario, Even If & So What, Jinxed, Changing Your Focus & Attention, Attention Bias, Being Overaware, Journaling, Uncertainty, Acceptance, Avoidance, Trauma, Moving On From Here - Maintenance, Setbacks, Celebrations, Type of Anxiety Disorders, 2 Bonus Audio Meditations, Q&A With Author

Rating as a movie: PG

Quotes: Disclaimer: This book aims to provide general educational information and is not tailored to any specific individual. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional advice. The information presented in this book is based on research evidence and my clinical experience at the time of writing. Each individual’s experience of anxiety is unique and their ability to use the information in this book may also differ. Therefore, the outcomes and changes achieved will vary accordingly. Since I cannot know the personal circumstances of each reader, neither I, nor the Publisher, can accept liability for the consequences of the information provided. To address your specific circumstances, it is recommended you consult with your doctor to find an approach specifically tailored to you. If you experience physical symptoms, it is crucial not to self-diagnose and instead seek confirmation and guidance from your doctor, including assessing if anxiety plays a role. Additionally, follow your doctor’s guidance on when to schedule further consultations for any symptoms you experience. Please note that using alcohol or drugs as coping mechanisms for anxiety can lead to addiction and other issues so, if you have concerns about this, please consult your doctor. Throughout this book, various patient examples are used to enhance readability and relatability. Although these may be inspired by my clinical experiences, they do not depict specific individuals. They are composite narratives that illustrate key concepts and ideas.

Anxiety can be influenced by various life stages, although each person’s experience is distinct, and not everyone will encounter anxiety during these periods. It’s important to recognize that feeling anxious during certain life transitions is normal, but if the anxiety becomes overwhelming or significantly impacts daily functioning it may have become a bigger problem. Here are some typical life stages and events that are often associated with anxiety:
• Adolescence: Hormonal and physical changes during puberty, along with the challenges of transitioning into adulthood.
• College or university: Academic pressures, social adjustments, and increased responsibilities.
• Starting a career: Job interviews, performance expectations, career uncertainties and workplace conflicts.
• Relationship changes: Starting or ending romantic relationships, conflicts, divorce or separation.
• Parenthood: Becoming a first-time parent or adjusting to the demands and uncertainties of raising children.
• Empty Nest Syndrome: When children leave home, parents may experience a sense of loss or purposelessness.
• Menopause: Hormonal changes during this stage can impact mood and increase the risk of anxiety for some women.
concerns, and transitioning into retirement can introduce anxieties related to identity, health and financial stability.
• Significant life changes: Moving, changing careers, experiencing bereavement, financial difficulties, or trauma can also trigger anxiety problems.

The strategies in this book are all based on well-researched, evidence-based, scientifically proven methods, including the following:
• Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). This helps people develop alternative ways of dealing with their difficulties, by managing thoughts and behaviours in other ways.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). This has a strong focus on behaviour change, moving you away from being trapped by the negative, and towards the life you want.
• Exposure and response prevention (ERP). This is a skill through which you learn to face your fears while refraining from doing things that reinforce them.
• Breathing exercises. These are effective in reducing the respiratory abnormalities seen in people with anxiety-based disorders.
• Mindfulness-based interventions. We will also use these to help engage the body’s relaxation response.

My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😰😟😓😌😌😌😌

My thoughts: 📱3% 26:20 Getting The Basics Right - I already know this is going to take me 2 weeks, it's not exciting at all.
📱21% 2:39:09 Chapter 3 How Can I Calm My Stress Nervous System - This is great information; it may go faster than I thought.
📱45% 5:41:38 Chapter 5 How Can I Stop Overfocusing On My Anxiety? - For a minute, I thought she was just sharing new ways to be anxious, but she works you through them all, so not really. This book is pretty detailed in its solutions.

This book is very descriptive of anxiety coping mechanisms and is equally descriptive of better ways to cope and reduce your anxiety. According to this book, my anxiety is mild, but I found the information here extremely helpful. I particularly like the explanations she gave for certain behaviors.

Recommend to others: Yes! This is one of the best books I've read on this topic.

[Kim Coenen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alleen al de uitnodigende cover en de pakkende titel, maken me nieuwsgierig naar de inhoud van het boek. Ik lees graag non-fictie boeken en ik ben altijd erg gemotiveerd om te leren en te groeien. Aangezien ik zelf in mijn verleden ook gekampt heb met angst- en paniekaanvallen, ben ik erg benieuwd naar de adviezen en oefeningen die Dr. Kirren Schnack in dit boek biedt.


Kamp jij met angstige gedachten? Heb je een trauma of iets ernstigs meegemaakt en ben je het gevoel met jezelf verloren? Klinisch psycholoog dr. Kirren Schnack biedt tools, adviezen en verschillende handvatten en oefeningen om deze gevoelens van angst en stress te overwinnen. In tien uitgebreide hoofdstukken, begrijp je wat er gebeurt als je angst en/of stress ervaart en hoe je met deze gevoelens om kan gaan. Elk hoofdstuk bevat korte, doeltreffende en klinisch bewezen oefeningen waarmee je thuis aan de slag kan voor meer rust en balans in je leven.


Wat een super helder, toegankelijk en vlot geschreven verhaal. Het boek leest ontzettend gemakkelijk en fijn weg en dr. Kirren Schnack weet haar op zo'n wijze te delen dat je het gemakkelijk tot je neemt.

Het boek kent een overzichtelijke indeling, waarbij dr. Kirren Schnack start met het uitleggen van de basiskennis rondom het ervaren van stress, angst, onrust en ongemak. Haar verhaal weet ze goed te ondersteunen met handige infographics, opsommingen en interessante feitjes. Hierdoor word ik erg enthousiast en weet ze me ook nieuwsgierig te houden. Na de helder uitleg en kennis die ze deelt, deelt ze handige en hele laagdrempelige oefeningen en adviezen. Het is hierbij leuk dat ik direct oefeningen herken die ik tijdens mijn therapie ook geleerd en de werking hiervan ervaren heb.

Dr. Kirren Schnack heeft het boek opgedeeld in tien uitgebreide hoofdstukken rondom stress, trauma, angsten, emoties, onzekerheid en hoe je hier stapsgewijs, thuis en op laagdrempelige wijze mee aan de slag kan. Let op, het is natuurlijk geen boek voor zware trauma's en PTSS, maar voor de alledaagse angsten en stress-ervaringen. Naast de tien hoofdstukken, volgen we ook nog hoofdstukken over professionele hulp zoeken, klachten bij angst, soorten angst en een lijst met leuke ideeën en activiteiten om uit de negatieve bubbel te komen. Kortom, een compleet handboek voor mensen die stress en angst ervaren in het dagelijks leven en dit willen verlagen.

In 10 stappen naar mentale rust is een leerzaam, leuk en toegankelijk boek dat je alles uitlegt over je lichaam en mindset rondom stress, angst, onzekerheid en negatieve emoties. Naast de kennis biedt dr. Kirren Schnack op hele laagdrempelige wijze handvatten, adviezen en oefeningen waarmee je thuis stapsgewijs mee aan de slag kan. Een erg goed en compleet boek.

[Bogdan Hardau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Foarte buna daca vrei sa intelegi de ce ai anxietate si cum sa o controlezi.

[Mia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was interested in reading this as I've followed Dr Kirren for a long time and found her page a comfort to know you're not alone in experiences with severe anxiety. I've been reading small sections of this at a time, and I've found it does give you exactly what it says practical and easily set out advice to follow. I think the book holds a lot of content similar to what you would get out of speaking to a therapist, but obviously, this is self-help. I'm always interested in reading more into mental health and why it can be so controlling, and this book definitely gives a lot of evidence for not only one but a range of different anxiety related disorders. I think the hardest part with these sorts of books or any advice you are given is to actually put these skills into practice, but that is relative to the person.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always good to have a few tricks in your arsenal when it comes to uncomfortable situations. This book gives exactly that, and it covers anxiety and fears caused by anxiety and causing anxiety.
Dr Kirren Schnack tries to explain the concept and feeling of anxiety in a simpler way, making you look at that from a different perspective. In short, just don't panic and breathe, but if you ever had anxiety, you know it's way far from being "just" and sometimes feeling of suffocation don't really go together with advice to "just breathe". The book consists of patient examples and stories, that help you reflect on different types of anxiety and their causes so that a reader can resonate more with written or see how this or that appears, or maybe see themselves in those stories (oh, I did).
32 tasks/exercises should have you covered. Bad news - none of this is a quick fix and should be done from time to time, and mostly will be based on self-observation. Good news - you won't need anyone to help you with those exercises (unless you want to get professional help, then please do so), you should be able to handle those on your own, going through tests in your head or on paper, journaling, as well as self-observation should calm your mind minimizing anxiety in a long term, and that's exactly what we want.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Yaya]

I have won an advanced reader's copy through Goodreads giveaway. Thank you!

This book is written by Dr. Kirren Schnack who is a British clinical psychologist with twenty years of experience. Dr. Schnack explains in details causes of different anxieity, its potential symptoms, and what one can do to alleviate symptoms. It is like a step-by-step guide to acknowledge your anxiety and techniques to cope with it.

I feel that everyone has anxiety, good or bad, at one time or another, and some of us gets affected more negatively (and deeply) than others. I felt this book would be great if one doesn't have an access to therapy, or even feel too anxious to see a therapist. I understand anxiety can cause a serious consequence to daily life, so if you are dealing with it, or know someone close to you who is dealing with it, it has plenty of useful tips and exercises one can do. At $29.99 for a copy of this book, you might consider it just one session of the therapy with a lot more ideas to come to solution.

As this is a how-to book, it is not a book one would read cover-to-cover. Rather, it's a toolkit you pull out (similar to cookbook) when you need it, and read applicable sections deeply and doing exercises. As such, I didn't leave star-rating to this book. It would be invaluable for an anxious someone, while completely worthless to someone else who isn't feeling so.

[Kerynnisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

BEST book I’ve read on managing anxiety so far - and I’ve read plenty. It is accessible (language- and example-wise), practical (task-oriented), and actionable (tasks are small, doable and bounded). It is simultaneously reassuring and supporting - the author empathizes with the anxious reader, and compassionately explains why and how said reader could have developed anxiety, and why it doesn’t ultimately do them any good. One thing I find refreshing, and gets right to the heart of the worrywart, is that this book addresses the underlying fear that not being anxious will invite trouble: anxiety about doing away with anxiety! The author explains why this belief exists and that ultimately it is anxiety operating at a meta level (how insidous). This is something not many books address. The great news is, like the other forms of anxiety, this idea of jinxing by not being anxiety, can also be treated with the same strategies she lists in the book.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND

[Ellen]

Not a reflection on the quality of this book at all, but I do wish publishers would include a disclaimer at the top of audiobooks that have extensive instructional tasks to complete. My audiobook app, frustratingly doesn't have the PDF feature, and even if it did, it's a lot of faff to flick back and forth in the app. I've had this before with books with DIYs and recipes I wasn't aware were going to take up a chunk of the book. It's really quite frustrating.

On the book itself, I think there's some really great stuff in here -- actual, applicable advice and exercises to do to calm anxiety. I think it's thoroughness means it's not the best reading experience -- Schnack often repeats herself throughout the book. Additionally, I think that Schnack is slightly over-reliant on health anxiety related examples. Perhaps because they are a little more easy to isolate from other anxiety issues, but it did feel weighted in this direction over addressing other kinds of anxiety.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book in a Goodreads giveaway. I was excited to receive this book not so much for myself but for my son. I do sometimes suffer from social anxiety, mostly when it involves going to parties. I have a hard time getting myself out the door and can find any reason not to go. This December I was invited to a Christmas party where I wouldn’t know most of the people and the few I would know I hadn’t seen in years. I started using breathing exercises while on my way over. I had to drive by the house once before I could work up the nerve to pull into the driveway. Once I was there, I did enjoy myself and I’m glad I went. If I hadn’t learned the breathing techniques in this book I probably wouldn’t have gone. I also learned from reading this book just how many people around me are suffering from anxiety. I definitely recommend this book.

[Shelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best way to get the full benefit of a self-help book is to read it, or at least have a physical copy while listening to the audio book. That way one can work on the steps or exercises provided by the author. Since most self-help books I listen to are not worth reading, I tend to just listen, take what sticks out the most and forget the rest. However, Ten Times Calmer is actually worth purchasing, taking your time and going through the suggestions to help lower anxiety. I would highly recommend getting this and using it as a workbook to increase helpful habits and emotional calmness. The author gave practical tips, tricks and thoughtful activities to dive deep on what is the root cause of ones anxiety, fears and frustrations.

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I liked about this book was its practical advice and Dr. Schnack realizes that you have to do the work; you are ultimately in control. By taking these tools and putting them into practice you can reduce anxiety and stress in your life. Throughout the book, she gives you tasks to work on, as well as, skills to hone in on.

Written with empathy, this is a practical and insightful guide to reduce anxiety and bring calmness back into your life.

Thank you @flatiron_books for this gifted copy.

[Angela DT · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ten Times Calmer by Dr Kirren Schnack

Very interesting read that goes some way in helping you understand why you have anxiety and gives you a coping strategy to deal with it.
I've never had it before and have managed to get through a good few decades before it has reared its ugly head , but by reading this book , and spending some time to understand my triggers , I think it could really help moving forward.

[Aiah Ulan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really helped me a lot with my healing journey. I am grateful to Dr Kirren for writing this. I definitely recommend this book not just for persons who have anxiety disorders but for persons who have loved ones that have anxiety disorders as well.

I have already started to practice the tasks and learnings from the book but I also plan to use all the strategies to move forward as I claim complete healing!

[Harriet Shearsmith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was really helpful with lots of practical and sensible advice. I didn’t feel like there was that much I haven’t already learnt, but perhaps I knew more about anxiety (and managing mine) than I actually realised.) I would recommend this to people who are looking to learn about anxiety and soothe their own. It was definitely insightful and useful!

[Bliss R · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a helpful book on managing anxiety. It includes exercises and questions to reflect on. I liked the summarising "key takeaways" section at the end of each chapter. Some of the information I have read and knew already though I still found it beneficial reading. It was a little repetitive in parts but overall a worthwhile read.

[Sydney Hampton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so helpful. I have had anxiety for a long time and this book has such good ways to help reduce your anxiety. I have put a lot of the methods in this book to work in my life and have saw a difference in my anxiety and how I cope with it. Would definitely recommend!

[Donna Foster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptionally done for a better understanding of the different types of anxiety, how to manage and a guide to help calm anxiety with ten hacks at the end of each chapter.

[Meyka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Goodreads for a copy of this book.

[Laura]

This book would have been better as a bullet pointed pamphlet. I could not finish it.

[Tj Okor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical and helpful!

Fantastic insight into the human nervous system and how powerful the brain really is

[Victoire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Keep track 16 and 17 for meditation purposes

[Jeannette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I kept this book way too long, according to the library, but it was worth it. One of the better anxiety books I've read. Super helpful for anyone struggling with anxiety.

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing

[Annelies · Rating 2 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️½

[Meaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great primer on anxiety with practical tips and techniques to help!

[The_J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anxiety - at some point you either take control of your life or suffer because the world doesn't care. The mediation at the end is strong as centering you to be able to make proper choices.

[Natalia Waniczek]

this book changed my life.

[8stitches 9lives · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who suffers quite badly from anxiety, I am always looking for books that have something new or valuable to offer in terms of helping to combat the hell that can be panic attacks, social anxiety, agoraphobia and related conditions which millions suffer from every day across the world. In this compact 368 pages, NHS Clinical Psychologist Dr Kirren Schnack sets out 10 different chapters each detailing how to deal with your anxiety and make your life easier from here on out.

Bringing together background on why we become anxious and how to stop it or reduce it, she sets out plenty of case studies and important exercises which have helped people in the past to take back control once the anxiety begins to feel like it has taken over. There are a lot of great tips and tricks and a whole lot of understanding and empathy brimming from the pages which is so important as there is nothing worse than having a mental health issue(s) and then a doctor talking down to you about it, but none of that happens here.

Friendly, professional advice given in a caring context and plenty to learn about as you try to get to grips with your condition(s). Well worth your time as everyone seems to have different coping mechanisms they enact in times of crisis.