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It's Not Him, It's You

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"The only dating book you will ever need!" -A reader"The most useful advice book on relationships I've ever read" -An Amazon reviewer"Amazingly straightforward advice." -Ashley L.Tired of gamey, manipulative dating advice for women?Seeking to UNDERSTAND men, rather than condemn them?Looking to ENJOY dating, rather than dread it? You've come to the right place!During the early stages of dating, many women unknowingly make one or more fundamental mistakes that hinder their ability to date successfully and find the man of their dreams. Internationally acclaimed "It's Not Him, It's You" will identify each of these Top 10 mistakes, and show you how to fix them!With Dr. Christie Hartman as your guide, you'll learn how to put this groundbreaking research to work for you. You'll learn that you, as a the advantage over men in the dating worldShould make the first move with men--not wait for them to actCan detect if a guy is truly interested in you, even before you go out with himAnyone can tell you to avoid sex on the first date, or to wear a skirt, or to flirt a lot. This book gives you what you really the research-based strategies you need to make dating work for you--and find the happiness you deserve!

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 18, 2010

25 people are currently reading
132 people want to read

About the author

Christie Hartman

16 books3 followers

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5 stars
24 (36%)
4 stars
21 (32%)
3 stars
13 (20%)
2 stars
5 (7%)
1 star
2 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
Profile Image for Kim.
88 reviews
September 4, 2013
I've read a lot of dating advice books over the last year. A LOT. And this is one of the best.

It's straightforward and easy-to-read yet offers practical advice that's backed up by scientific research. There was so much that I liked about this book. Off the top of my head, I thought the best parts were the chapter on Oneitis, the explanation of initiating vs. pursuing, her description of how attraction develops differently in men and women, signals interested men send, red flags to watch for, and how to evaluate dating advice.

This book is kind of like "the greatest hits" of wisdom that I've received in bits and pieces from lots of other books -- except it's all compiled into one book. I highly recommend this book to smart women who are really struggling with dating and the self doubt that dating creates.

As one reviewer below points out, yes, there is a double-standard when it comes to men and dating, but this book (in a very subtle way) tells you that you need to go with the flow. A lot of dating/mating is based on primitive biological instincts. Why waste time trying to fight nature? What does that accomplish? Love -- just like life in general -- is not fair, and the sooner you accept that, the happier you will be. This book advocates working with what you've got and being your best self. Trust that the rest will fall into place if you do your part.
Profile Image for Tanya.
494 reviews17 followers
December 14, 2020
Really good advice, definitely going to buy a copy to keep on hand for reference. I have already seen an improvement in my dating life by following this book.
Profile Image for Alex.
639 reviews14 followers
December 9, 2010
I'm giving this book a high rating because every one of her tips apply to my situation that I'm in right now.I especially like the fact that it's more scientific but chic friendly at the same time. Her chapter on 'Supermodels', 'Oneties' and 'Initation'are empowering and made me see my problem more clearly. It's really not him but me and my rigid beliefs
Profile Image for Agnes M.
48 reviews
September 22, 2014
It was an interesting book that at least aims to tackle the various misleading information that is provided through popular science. The attempt at deconstructing the double standard was subpar and went along the lines of this is how it is so just accept it. Still worth reading if you're interested in the intricacies of human interaction in general.
Profile Image for Chiara Zucconi.
189 reviews
September 5, 2016
consigli pratici su come rimediare agli errori più comuni che facciamo noi donne nelle prime fasi del "corteggiamento".. primi appuntamenti e aspettative.. vi saprò dire se si è rivelata una lettura "utile "
527 reviews
March 5, 2013
I liked it... I'm a fool with this things so it gives me an insight that I have never thought about it. I recommend it for people who sucks at dating
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews

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