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264 pages, Paperback
First published August 23, 2001
STRANGER: “Do you mind my asking where you are from?” [This is code for “What is your race?”]Mom and I discussed how that question, “Where are you from?”, takes on a completely different tone depending on who it is presented to. If someone asks us (my white Mom or I) where are you from, we generally know they mean it literally. If they want to know our family background, they ask directly. It’s not a challenge; usually it’s just polite conversation. Rarely is that question asked of a person of colour for the sake of polite conversation. As Hill notes, it becomes a challenge to a person’s Canadian identity (177). Part of our white privilege is never having people challenge our Canadian identities.
ME: “Canada.” [This is code for “Screw off.”]
STRANGER: “Yes, but you know, where are you really from?” [This is code for “You know what I mean, so why are you trying to make me come out and say it?”]
ME: “I come from the foreign and distant metropolis of Newmarket. That’s Newmarket, Ontario. My place of birth. [Code for “I’m not letting you off the4 hook, buster.”]
STRANGER: “But your place of origin? Your parents? What are your parents?” [Code for “I want to know your race, but this is making me very uncomfortable because somehow I feel that I’m not supposed to ask that question.”]
For many people with one black and one white parent, it appears to hurt more when we are rejected by the black community than when we are discriminated against in the wider community for being black (106).Mom and I both learned a lot from this book. We highly recommend it, especially to white people who, like us, had never really considered how the experiences of biracial people may differ from those who are ‘all Black’ or ‘all white’.
“When white people look at you, they’re never going to see white. They’re always going to see black. Therefore you’re black.” (110)