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Gastien #1
The Cost of the Dream
When young Gastien Beauchamp flees the farm for Paris, the late nineteenth century bohemian era is in full swing. Color has always called to him, beseeching him to capture it on canvas and show people a new way of seeing things. His father belittled his dream of being an artist and tried to beat him into giving it up. The dream wouldn’t die, but Gastien would have had he not left.
He also yearns to become a great lover. After the years of anguish he has endured at the hand of his father, it would be heaven to feel pleasure instead of pain.
However, the city of Paris has a ruthless agenda. Unless a man has money and connections, Paris unfeelingly crushes dreams and destroys souls. With neither of the required assets, Gastien faces living in alleys, digging in trash bins for food, and sleeping where a man is often killed for his threadbare blanket.
Left with nothing but his dreams, Gastien clings to the hope that the impossible is possible. He pushes on, regardless of the cost.
He also yearns to become a great lover. After the years of anguish he has endured at the hand of his father, it would be heaven to feel pleasure instead of pain.
However, the city of Paris has a ruthless agenda. Unless a man has money and connections, Paris unfeelingly crushes dreams and destroys souls. With neither of the required assets, Gastien faces living in alleys, digging in trash bins for food, and sleeping where a man is often killed for his threadbare blanket.
Left with nothing but his dreams, Gastien clings to the hope that the impossible is possible. He pushes on, regardless of the cost.
492 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2011
205 people are currently reading
1181 people want to read
About the author
Caddy Rowland
29 books87 followersSign up for new Caddy Rowland book release information by copying and pasting this in your browser: http://eepurl.com/rfjaX
NOTE: Caddy also writes gay m/m romance under the pen name Sibley Jackson. To be notified of new gay m/m romances by email, sing up here: http://tinyurl.com/kwzlad8
The drama of humanity. We live, die, love, hate, win and lose in a never-ending variety of ways. Often those ways are heart-wrenching. Other times they are not.
Why do people make the choices they do? Why do some abuse power? How do the powerless learn to survive? Why do a few dare to be different, while others conform—and why are so many disturbed by those who don't? These are the questions that have always haunted author Caddy Rowland. Those questions keep her pounding away at her keyboard, creating novels for adults who color outside the lines.
Caddy has always been a nonconformist. She likes to push the proverbial envelope when it comes to characterization and world building. Heroes have warts; villains have soft spots. Main characters don't always learn their lessons because all too often we don't, either. There isn't always a happy ending, but sometimes there is. Otherwise she'd be predictable.
She writes for readers who like to think and feel; who like their stories to be raw, graphic, unpredictable, "real" and sometimes brutal. For readers who like their boundaries challenged; to be shown how rarely life decisions are truly black and white, but instead shades of grey.
Think of a carnival midway with books instead of rides. She asks you make sure you're the minimum height if you plan on riding alone. You must also leave prejudices and inhibitions behind the entry gate. If you can’t, Rowland's reads might be a tad much for you. Don't worry. There are plenty of safer reads out there. Just step out of the line and find a more appropriate book for your reading enjoyment.
No, Caddy Rowland's novels aren't for everyone. But then again, they just might be for you.
NOTE: Caddy also writes gay m/m romance under the pen name Sibley Jackson. To be notified of new gay m/m romances by email, sing up here: http://tinyurl.com/kwzlad8
The drama of humanity. We live, die, love, hate, win and lose in a never-ending variety of ways. Often those ways are heart-wrenching. Other times they are not.
Why do people make the choices they do? Why do some abuse power? How do the powerless learn to survive? Why do a few dare to be different, while others conform—and why are so many disturbed by those who don't? These are the questions that have always haunted author Caddy Rowland. Those questions keep her pounding away at her keyboard, creating novels for adults who color outside the lines.
Caddy has always been a nonconformist. She likes to push the proverbial envelope when it comes to characterization and world building. Heroes have warts; villains have soft spots. Main characters don't always learn their lessons because all too often we don't, either. There isn't always a happy ending, but sometimes there is. Otherwise she'd be predictable.
She writes for readers who like to think and feel; who like their stories to be raw, graphic, unpredictable, "real" and sometimes brutal. For readers who like their boundaries challenged; to be shown how rarely life decisions are truly black and white, but instead shades of grey.
Think of a carnival midway with books instead of rides. She asks you make sure you're the minimum height if you plan on riding alone. You must also leave prejudices and inhibitions behind the entry gate. If you can’t, Rowland's reads might be a tad much for you. Don't worry. There are plenty of safer reads out there. Just step out of the line and find a more appropriate book for your reading enjoyment.
No, Caddy Rowland's novels aren't for everyone. But then again, they just might be for you.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
September 13, 2016
A story set in the turn of the century, Gastien is an artist and part of the ‘forward thinking’ generation: obsessed with the arts, sexuality and the changes that are encompassing the entire world. Set as a family saga, the author has released 5 books in a series that circle this family and their dramas.
So I was prepared for a more forward-thinking story in the historical fiction genre, and expected some of the sexuality and more ‘shocking’ (for the time) ideas to be presented. And often, the author manages to capture moments in the characters that feel very genuine. Gastien is self-absorbed, frustratingly so, and far too obsessed with his sexual conquests. With more than a few scenes that serve only to increase his sexual conquests, and do little to serve the plot: Gastien’s obsession with his sexual prowess and attractions to both men and women are wearing and while you often can hope he will find something permanent and real, they all begin to flow together and lose impact.
There are scenes of considerable dubious consent, and several moments where the author has expended far more effort in analyzing his psyche than was necessary: we have seen the missing pieces in Gastien’s psyche, we have a clear path to follow his intentions. This frequent insertion of information only served to halt the forward motion of the plot, and left this reader frustrated.
Secondary characters are introduced rapidly, although none seem to be developed in a way that would present their appearance as necessary or impacting the storyline, and sadly, most are forgettable.
I was reading an historical, and while the author goes to great lengths to explore and explain her reasoning for the dialogue misses and inclusion of phrases with meanings far advanced of the age, that was a huge miss for me: I understand the choice, I didn’t like it and I didn’t find that words like Okay and Gig served to enhance the “forward thinking” feel that was sought. There was promise in the story and even in the writing, it just needed another round of edits to tighten the plot, enhance and develop characters other than Gastien, and balance the pacing. There were some beautiful moments, and some lovely descriptions despite all of these issues: the idea is one that could make a lovely and gripping story, it just needs more polish.
I purchased a copy of the title for my own library prior to having the opportunity to read this title as part of France Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
So I was prepared for a more forward-thinking story in the historical fiction genre, and expected some of the sexuality and more ‘shocking’ (for the time) ideas to be presented. And often, the author manages to capture moments in the characters that feel very genuine. Gastien is self-absorbed, frustratingly so, and far too obsessed with his sexual conquests. With more than a few scenes that serve only to increase his sexual conquests, and do little to serve the plot: Gastien’s obsession with his sexual prowess and attractions to both men and women are wearing and while you often can hope he will find something permanent and real, they all begin to flow together and lose impact.
There are scenes of considerable dubious consent, and several moments where the author has expended far more effort in analyzing his psyche than was necessary: we have seen the missing pieces in Gastien’s psyche, we have a clear path to follow his intentions. This frequent insertion of information only served to halt the forward motion of the plot, and left this reader frustrated.
Secondary characters are introduced rapidly, although none seem to be developed in a way that would present their appearance as necessary or impacting the storyline, and sadly, most are forgettable.
I was reading an historical, and while the author goes to great lengths to explore and explain her reasoning for the dialogue misses and inclusion of phrases with meanings far advanced of the age, that was a huge miss for me: I understand the choice, I didn’t like it and I didn’t find that words like Okay and Gig served to enhance the “forward thinking” feel that was sought. There was promise in the story and even in the writing, it just needed another round of edits to tighten the plot, enhance and develop characters other than Gastien, and balance the pacing. There were some beautiful moments, and some lovely descriptions despite all of these issues: the idea is one that could make a lovely and gripping story, it just needs more polish.
I purchased a copy of the title for my own library prior to having the opportunity to read this title as part of France Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.
February 5, 2013
This book was mesmerizing! It is not for the faint of heart because of language and abuse. With that said, I truly have fallen in love with Gastein!
Gastein was placed on this Earth on a farm with lots of siblings. It was in France in the 1900's and his father very abusive physically and verbally. With Gastein being the oldest he got the brunt of the beatings. His heart was never into farming. His mother, a former schoolteacher, did teach all the children how to read, write,do math, and enjoy art. His dad did not see the benefit in drawing or painting and thought that was only for girls or homosexuals.
At 18 Gastein left the farm to pursue his dreams of painting. Life was not easy in Paris when he arrived. Luckily for Gastein he was befriended by Mic who taught him how to paint, and how to wait tables so he could survive. There were two things Gastein wanted to accomplish and that was to paint and to have sex!
Because of his upbringing he wanted to make sure that women got pleasure out of having sex as much as he did. Because of that, he left a lot of women heartbroken! But Gastein was honest with the ladies that he was not the marrying kind and did want to settle down, but the women still wanted to change him.
Gastein endured so much pain in his lifetime but he was able to paint, have lots of sex and he also had his best friend with him throughout his lifetime! He and Mic would do anything for each other, and Gastein knew what a treasure it was to have a friend like Mic.
I love this book very much and recommend having tissue around because I not only teared up but cried like a baby!
I cannot get the characters out of my head and would stay up all night, literally, reading this book! Great read just does not say enough!
Thank you Caddy!!
Gastein was placed on this Earth on a farm with lots of siblings. It was in France in the 1900's and his father very abusive physically and verbally. With Gastein being the oldest he got the brunt of the beatings. His heart was never into farming. His mother, a former schoolteacher, did teach all the children how to read, write,do math, and enjoy art. His dad did not see the benefit in drawing or painting and thought that was only for girls or homosexuals.
At 18 Gastein left the farm to pursue his dreams of painting. Life was not easy in Paris when he arrived. Luckily for Gastein he was befriended by Mic who taught him how to paint, and how to wait tables so he could survive. There were two things Gastein wanted to accomplish and that was to paint and to have sex!
Because of his upbringing he wanted to make sure that women got pleasure out of having sex as much as he did. Because of that, he left a lot of women heartbroken! But Gastein was honest with the ladies that he was not the marrying kind and did want to settle down, but the women still wanted to change him.
Gastein endured so much pain in his lifetime but he was able to paint, have lots of sex and he also had his best friend with him throughout his lifetime! He and Mic would do anything for each other, and Gastein knew what a treasure it was to have a friend like Mic.
I love this book very much and recommend having tissue around because I not only teared up but cried like a baby!
I cannot get the characters out of my head and would stay up all night, literally, reading this book! Great read just does not say enough!
Thank you Caddy!!
January 7, 2014
This book feels like Les Miserable merged with White Oleander... a very odd combo, I know!
We meet Gastien Beauchamp a month or two before he turns eighteen, in October of 1873. He is the eldest son of a farmer Jean Beauchamp. Gastien believes his destiny lies beyond the farm, as an artist in Monmarte, France. He is working up his courage to ask for his fathers blessing and financial support to attend art school.
Though poor, Jean Beauchamp is considered a successful farmer and is much admired by his community. Unfortunately for his wife and children, who Jean is on the farm and behind closed doors is another matter. Gastien is beaten regularly beginning at age of three and his mother is raped daily. Gastien sees his dream of becoming an artist as an escape from all the horrors he has faced. In order to achieve this, Gastien works hard for two years, trying to prove his value to his father.
Once he makes his request, which is scorned, Gastien flees to Paris with the help of his mother and seeks to make a name for himself. Immediately he finds himself friends with students at the art school he wishes to attend, and taking lessons from them since he cannot afford classes.
The first part of the book primarily focuses on Gastiens escape to Paris and surviving his first winter as a homeless person. The second part of the book deals with his fear of starving and freezing and the lengths to which he will go to to ensure this doesn't happen again. True friendship, love, dreams, honor, all cast aside. Dreams turn into nightmares which stay with him forever.
What is quite odd about this book is the sheer number of nice and trustworthy people as well as the perverse and degrading. Very few average people in this book. Much like White Oleander, the reader has to wonder what more depravities could befall an individual. I think the author did a great job creating Gastien's character and bringing the backdrop to life. I wish that there had been more development of the healthy relationships in Gastiens life.
The book is one in a series, the next is Gastien: From Dream to Dream. If the book were more along the lines of Les Miserable, I would happily recommend it.
We meet Gastien Beauchamp a month or two before he turns eighteen, in October of 1873. He is the eldest son of a farmer Jean Beauchamp. Gastien believes his destiny lies beyond the farm, as an artist in Monmarte, France. He is working up his courage to ask for his fathers blessing and financial support to attend art school.
Though poor, Jean Beauchamp is considered a successful farmer and is much admired by his community. Unfortunately for his wife and children, who Jean is on the farm and behind closed doors is another matter. Gastien is beaten regularly beginning at age of three and his mother is raped daily. Gastien sees his dream of becoming an artist as an escape from all the horrors he has faced. In order to achieve this, Gastien works hard for two years, trying to prove his value to his father.
Once he makes his request, which is scorned, Gastien flees to Paris with the help of his mother and seeks to make a name for himself. Immediately he finds himself friends with students at the art school he wishes to attend, and taking lessons from them since he cannot afford classes.
The first part of the book primarily focuses on Gastiens escape to Paris and surviving his first winter as a homeless person. The second part of the book deals with his fear of starving and freezing and the lengths to which he will go to to ensure this doesn't happen again. True friendship, love, dreams, honor, all cast aside. Dreams turn into nightmares which stay with him forever.
What is quite odd about this book is the sheer number of nice and trustworthy people as well as the perverse and degrading. Very few average people in this book. Much like White Oleander, the reader has to wonder what more depravities could befall an individual. I think the author did a great job creating Gastien's character and bringing the backdrop to life. I wish that there had been more development of the healthy relationships in Gastiens life.
The book is one in a series, the next is Gastien: From Dream to Dream. If the book were more along the lines of Les Miserable, I would happily recommend it.
January 20, 2014
3.5 stars
Gastien by Caddy Rowland is one hell of a ride. It’s real interesting to go through the end of the 19th century through Gastien’s eyes since he’s little. You really know how immature and naive, how full of dreams and ambitions he was. He relate to him and his horrible childhood and fell a little more sympathetic every time.
It has a very mature theme, where the sex and self discovery are prominent and play a very important focus of the story. Gastien enjoys sex, a lot, but not so much on the romance department. Every single thing is not romanticised, they are either crass, brutal or just plain simple and graphic. It was so fresh and awakening to read it if not a bit perverse.
While the settings were nicely written there are some parts where people didn’t act like they are in that period. Some phrases are too modern or just don’t fit. I found the monologues could be a bit too much too. Like I would have liked to not have Gastien spells out every single tiny detail. But after a while you get used to it, and just enjoy the ride along with him.
I’m really looking forward to know how he fares in the next few books, as this story spans from age 18 to 21, I know there’s still much to cover. My heart goes out to him and wonders how he deals with the next drama thrown at him.
Again, for those looking for a fluff historical romance, this is probably for you. But if you’re looking for some real drama that gives you an emotional roller coaster ride, do yourself a favour and pick this up!
I received an arc copy as a part of the blog tour in exchange for an honest review :)
Tour page and Giveaway at Scrollin' Them Papers
Gastien by Caddy Rowland is one hell of a ride. It’s real interesting to go through the end of the 19th century through Gastien’s eyes since he’s little. You really know how immature and naive, how full of dreams and ambitions he was. He relate to him and his horrible childhood and fell a little more sympathetic every time.
It has a very mature theme, where the sex and self discovery are prominent and play a very important focus of the story. Gastien enjoys sex, a lot, but not so much on the romance department. Every single thing is not romanticised, they are either crass, brutal or just plain simple and graphic. It was so fresh and awakening to read it if not a bit perverse.
While the settings were nicely written there are some parts where people didn’t act like they are in that period. Some phrases are too modern or just don’t fit. I found the monologues could be a bit too much too. Like I would have liked to not have Gastien spells out every single tiny detail. But after a while you get used to it, and just enjoy the ride along with him.
I’m really looking forward to know how he fares in the next few books, as this story spans from age 18 to 21, I know there’s still much to cover. My heart goes out to him and wonders how he deals with the next drama thrown at him.
Again, for those looking for a fluff historical romance, this is probably for you. But if you’re looking for some real drama that gives you an emotional roller coaster ride, do yourself a favour and pick this up!
I received an arc copy as a part of the blog tour in exchange for an honest review :)
Tour page and Giveaway at Scrollin' Them Papers
January 30, 2016
This book was free from Amazon and is the first book in a series which makes it incredibly hard to rate. Gastien, the main character, has two goals--to be the best painter in the world and to own his own studio. To reach those goals he uses his extraordinary good looks and appeal to both sexes. I give the book five stars for the incredulous way that he achieved these goals. It is not a pretty story but one that in fact could be true. Given that the setting is in 19th century Paris, France, I looked for a George Sand type character to carry some of the story but did not find her. The things Gastien did are not my favorite subjects, and they very nearly destroyed his soul; but, in the end he does take stock of himself and understands that he cannot run from his transgressions and gives himself permission to put them to rest. I am giving the book five stars and am hoping that the author has Gastien use what he learned here to overcome other perils that he is certain encounter. Gastien paid a heavy price in chasing his dream. Normally Gastien's baseness would turn me off the read. Why did I keep coming. back to the pool? I cannot say.
Thank you, Ms. Rowland, for a good read.
Thank you, Ms. Rowland, for a good read.
November 28, 2015
Not sure how I feel about this. Fully a five(5)-star story, but the writer does not trust her readers to think and feel about the characters, so she tells us everything (EVERYTHING!) they are thinking and how we should feel about them, what conclusions to draw about them. What a relief to have a few pages of just dialogue or direct description of actions by the characters! But then we lapse back into the omniscient narrator’s psycho-analysis and unnecessary reminders of what underlies Gastien’s words or activities. And then we are blown away by scenes like that first dinner-table seduction/manipulation extraordinaire, where Gastien and Natalie first begin their affair, a tour-de-force that shows Rowland’s real power and skill as a writer. Later, we return to the analysis mode to ‘explain’ everything to us again. The narrator’s frequent interruptions reminded me of how I feel when I hear the laugh-track going on a TV show where they want to tell us that something’s supposed to be laughed at, just in case we’ve missed it. I guess the author needs to tell me how I feel about this . . . and explain why . .
October 24, 2015
Gastien: The Cost of the Dream by Caddy Rowland is a touching coming-of-age story that grabs hold from the start. A mesmerizing tale of a young man wanting to leave his family farm to become an artist in France. A beautifully told story that was as vivid as a moving film, as I could see the story unfold before my eyes. The author has the rare ability to show a story that comes to life right off the pages. I was glued to these pages and it was hard to think of anything else but Gastien and his adventures. And many of these adventures were a shock to me which made it that much more desirable.
This Gastien had a passion and nothing was going to get in his way.
Quote ~
Knowing you are good looking is a very heady thing, especially for an eighteen-year-old boy about to become a man. It is sometimes said - usually by people that have never been good looking - that looks are not as important as other traits because they fade. Not so. Looks are as great of an asset as any other. Fair or not, being extremely good looking can open many doors. You just need to be savvy enough to knock. Gastien learned quickly to use those looks, especially those huge eyes, to knock.
This Gastien had a passion and nothing was going to get in his way.
Quote ~
Knowing you are good looking is a very heady thing, especially for an eighteen-year-old boy about to become a man. It is sometimes said - usually by people that have never been good looking - that looks are not as important as other traits because they fade. Not so. Looks are as great of an asset as any other. Fair or not, being extremely good looking can open many doors. You just need to be savvy enough to knock. Gastien learned quickly to use those looks, especially those huge eyes, to knock.
December 22, 2011
I was surprised to discover that this book was written by a woman, because it had a distinct feel of being written by a chauvinistic man! This book is filled with very adult content, the kind of stuff that would make you feel dirty if you were reading it in public (or in my case, at work).
There were a couple of minor errors, but overall it was sound editing.
I would have liked this book more if it had more storyline and less sex without romance. It had the feel of a porn, where it's all about the sex and not about a relationship between two people. I think if there were less sex and more emphasis on the story, it really wouldn't have been a bad read. But as it is, I wasn't a fan and wouldn't even consider reading the rest of the books in the series.
There were a couple of minor errors, but overall it was sound editing.
I would have liked this book more if it had more storyline and less sex without romance. It had the feel of a porn, where it's all about the sex and not about a relationship between two people. I think if there were less sex and more emphasis on the story, it really wouldn't have been a bad read. But as it is, I wasn't a fan and wouldn't even consider reading the rest of the books in the series.
July 6, 2014
A young man escapes an abusive father, traveling to Paris to follow his dream of becoming an artist. He is totally narcissistic, so you never fully bond with the character, although you do feel somewhat sorry for things that befall him. A few people he meets in Paris befriend and help him, but whatever good fortune he finds is always taken away by some tragedy. He finally prostitutes himself to a gay man, which leads finally to his dream of owning his own art studio, but he is left wondering if it was worth the price to get there.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 31, 2013
What a drama filled book. This book had the most heart wrenching scenes. I want this to be enjoyed by everyone.
June 15, 2017
Don't bother
Clumsily written. I didn't even finish it. It's not really about art or Paris. Actually, it's just a trashy novel.
Clumsily written. I didn't even finish it. It's not really about art or Paris. Actually, it's just a trashy novel.
July 10, 2017
Not my cup of tea. Couldn't finish it. Too many modern phrases that kept me from being transported to that era and the obsession with sexuality was disturbing.
October 12, 2021
This was a historical fiction set in Paris in the 1800s. I enjoyed Gastien’s story. He had many ups and downs throughout his young life. This author is very descriptive. I enjoyed her writing. However, too much description of sex scenes and especially a very brutal sex scene. With that said, I always wanted to know what was going to happen next in the life of this young man setting out to make his dream of becoming an artist a reality. There was a bit too much focus on how handsome and desirable he was.
February 7, 2018
Willing to Do What Needed to Be done.
The artist had a gift—he knew how to bring color alive.He grew up with an abusive father, who did everything he could to destroy his son’s dream. If you enjoy reading about one person’s struggle, this is your book. It is not for a “fairy tale reader,” it is about starting out with nothing and doing what had to be done, to survive and accomplish a lofty goal.
The artist had a gift—he knew how to bring color alive.He grew up with an abusive father, who did everything he could to destroy his son’s dream. If you enjoy reading about one person’s struggle, this is your book. It is not for a “fairy tale reader,” it is about starting out with nothing and doing what had to be done, to survive and accomplish a lofty goal.
September 12, 2017
Gastien is a young and very handsome French artist who had to leave home after years of abuse by his father who hated everything about Gastien's talent. Arriving in Paris was no better for the next few years as he arrived with little money and no experience to land a job. He faces one terrible ordeal after another. This was the first of a 5 book saga.
January 13, 2021
The pursuit of a life and dream
This is a very beautifulnovel about artists in general. It describes exactly the anguished, anxieties, doubts and dears an artist experiences in life.
This is a very beautifulnovel about artists in general. It describes exactly the anguished, anxieties, doubts and dears an artist experiences in life.
July 6, 2017
A portrait of pain
One cannot begin to imagine what pain an artist goes through to achieve his or her dream to be great for all the right to be recognized for their talents.
One cannot begin to imagine what pain an artist goes through to achieve his or her dream to be great for all the right to be recognized for their talents.
December 17, 2017
It is a great book to read
January 17, 2018
Good book
You people should just read this book yourselves and write your own review on this novel yourself and I really enjoyed reading this book very much so. Shelley MA
You people should just read this book yourselves and write your own review on this novel yourself and I really enjoyed reading this book very much so. Shelley MA
July 29, 2020
Held my interest all the way through. Had to read all 5 books
February 5, 2022
What one has to pay to follow a dream! A good read!
March 14, 2017
The story started out good but dragged on much too long and much too slow. There is way too much telling. Instead of "one more chapter and then you have to turn out the lights" it was "one more chapter before you can set it aside." I won't continue with the series.
February 3, 2012
Review by Ashley Rosenberg at limerencemag.com
In Gastien Part 1: The Cost of the Dream by Caddy Rowland, we are introduced to Gastien, a young worker on his father’s farm. It is soon realized that Gastien has lived a very hard life under his father’s constant abuse, both physically and emotionally, that his mother is powerless to stop. Through the terrors and beatings that Gastien endures, he finds the time to sneak in his love of drawing and painting. As Gastien comes of age, he leaves his family’s farm and ventures to Paris and follows his dream of becoming a successful artist. Once in Paris, Gastien experience problem after problem, but he is determined to reach his goal and overcome the many obstacles that stand in his way. But at what cost? Will Gastien be able to achieve his dream or will he lose himself along the way?
Not only was this book written very well, it was written in a way that I felt transported back in time. The amount of description in every aspect of Gastien’s world was mesmerizing and had me turning the page until the early hours of the morning. There were a couple editorial mistakes, but nothing major that took away from the reading experience. Overall, this book was a good read and I am looking forward to reading the second book after I read the ending to this story.
When I first started reading this book, I wasn’t sure if I would like it. Let my clarify. The book has a lot of brash and to-the-point dialogues when it comes to sexual matters. In fact, when I was reading the book I was hoping that the focal point of the book would switch back to the art aspect of the story. Sex was a strong focal point in this story, and to me, this wasn’t the type of romance book that has women swooning. Don’t get me wrong, I like reading adult romance books, but these scenes had a very perverse feel to them. While I was reading the book and came upon these moments, I was actually trying to read through them as fast as I could because they just seemed very perverse. This may be the case because the story is told from Gastien’s point of view, of whom is a man just discovering the body of a female and his desires. Maybe if it were coming from the women’s points of view it may have been better to read, but this aspect of the book would be one that knocks down the rating. I felt that these scenes were incorporated just a little too much and took away from the focal point of the story; Gastien and his dream to become a successful artist in Paris. There is one scene in particular near the end (I don’t want to give anything away) that I had a difficult time reading because it felt so wrong. Which I know was the point, but a fair warning to all, this book should not be intended for anyone younger than an adult. Other than this though, the book was a joy to read. I loved “experiencing” Paris in that era, and I especially loved the scenes of Gastien working at the restaurant and being with his friends. I loved reading about Gastien’s struggles, his artwork, and the relationships he established along the way.
**Please note: This book is intended for mature audiences only. Extremely graphic**
Gastien Part 1: The Cost of the Dream by Caddy Rowland has received 3.5 out of 5 stars.
*For this website and the inability to do half ratings, it has been rated 3 stars.*
In Gastien Part 1: The Cost of the Dream by Caddy Rowland, we are introduced to Gastien, a young worker on his father’s farm. It is soon realized that Gastien has lived a very hard life under his father’s constant abuse, both physically and emotionally, that his mother is powerless to stop. Through the terrors and beatings that Gastien endures, he finds the time to sneak in his love of drawing and painting. As Gastien comes of age, he leaves his family’s farm and ventures to Paris and follows his dream of becoming a successful artist. Once in Paris, Gastien experience problem after problem, but he is determined to reach his goal and overcome the many obstacles that stand in his way. But at what cost? Will Gastien be able to achieve his dream or will he lose himself along the way?
Not only was this book written very well, it was written in a way that I felt transported back in time. The amount of description in every aspect of Gastien’s world was mesmerizing and had me turning the page until the early hours of the morning. There were a couple editorial mistakes, but nothing major that took away from the reading experience. Overall, this book was a good read and I am looking forward to reading the second book after I read the ending to this story.
When I first started reading this book, I wasn’t sure if I would like it. Let my clarify. The book has a lot of brash and to-the-point dialogues when it comes to sexual matters. In fact, when I was reading the book I was hoping that the focal point of the book would switch back to the art aspect of the story. Sex was a strong focal point in this story, and to me, this wasn’t the type of romance book that has women swooning. Don’t get me wrong, I like reading adult romance books, but these scenes had a very perverse feel to them. While I was reading the book and came upon these moments, I was actually trying to read through them as fast as I could because they just seemed very perverse. This may be the case because the story is told from Gastien’s point of view, of whom is a man just discovering the body of a female and his desires. Maybe if it were coming from the women’s points of view it may have been better to read, but this aspect of the book would be one that knocks down the rating. I felt that these scenes were incorporated just a little too much and took away from the focal point of the story; Gastien and his dream to become a successful artist in Paris. There is one scene in particular near the end (I don’t want to give anything away) that I had a difficult time reading because it felt so wrong. Which I know was the point, but a fair warning to all, this book should not be intended for anyone younger than an adult. Other than this though, the book was a joy to read. I loved “experiencing” Paris in that era, and I especially loved the scenes of Gastien working at the restaurant and being with his friends. I loved reading about Gastien’s struggles, his artwork, and the relationships he established along the way.
**Please note: This book is intended for mature audiences only. Extremely graphic**
Gastien Part 1: The Cost of the Dream by Caddy Rowland has received 3.5 out of 5 stars.
*For this website and the inability to do half ratings, it has been rated 3 stars.*
March 15, 2014
Without a doubt Caddy Rowland has masterfully crafted a character driven novel. Gastien’s life is plagued by brutality, even as a young boy, and few could help but admire his determination to see his dream of becoming an artist without admiration. It is a dream he never wavers from despite numerous seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Without a doubt Gastien is a survivor, but his strength and determination are not without cost to his soul.
I have to admit that at times I had to put the novel aside as it was just too brutal for me to continue. This is not in anyway a criticism of the novel, but rather it was so well written that any survivor of human depravity would understand at times it simply hit too close to home.
Truly the strength of the novel is the rich development of each and every character the reader encounters. It has been some time since I have read a novel that truly brings to life all the personas that inhabit its pages and for that alone Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is a must read.
Rowland just as masterfully describes the various settings with skillful detail and gives her reader a real sense of the existence of struggling artists, the confines of society and the various spheres of Paris that the characters inhabit. It is not a romantic or pretty portrayal, but a realistic one. Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is not a pretty story, but one that is very true to real life. His struggles, his compromises and his resilience are part of the human existence.
Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is the first installment in a series and I eagerly await Caddy Rowland’s further exploration in the development of the character of Gastien as I look forward to what the future holds for this remarkable character. I recommend Gastien: The Cost of the Dream enthusiastically with the reminder that the novel contains graphic descriptions of physical violence, explicit sex and is for adult readers only.
I have to admit that at times I had to put the novel aside as it was just too brutal for me to continue. This is not in anyway a criticism of the novel, but rather it was so well written that any survivor of human depravity would understand at times it simply hit too close to home.
Truly the strength of the novel is the rich development of each and every character the reader encounters. It has been some time since I have read a novel that truly brings to life all the personas that inhabit its pages and for that alone Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is a must read.
Rowland just as masterfully describes the various settings with skillful detail and gives her reader a real sense of the existence of struggling artists, the confines of society and the various spheres of Paris that the characters inhabit. It is not a romantic or pretty portrayal, but a realistic one. Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is not a pretty story, but one that is very true to real life. His struggles, his compromises and his resilience are part of the human existence.
Gastien: The Cost of the Dream is the first installment in a series and I eagerly await Caddy Rowland’s further exploration in the development of the character of Gastien as I look forward to what the future holds for this remarkable character. I recommend Gastien: The Cost of the Dream enthusiastically with the reminder that the novel contains graphic descriptions of physical violence, explicit sex and is for adult readers only.
November 11, 2011
This is the story of a young boy, Gastien, growing into a man , and the journey he takes along the way during the 1800s in France. It begins with him at the age of 43, and the rest of the book is a flashback of what brought him part of the way to that point. Overall I really enjoyed this story much more than I expected I would.
Gastien starts out as a young boy, oldest of 10 Beauchamp children who live on the family farm. He is abused by his father, both physically and verbally. Gastien dreams of becoming a professional artist, rather than taking after his father farming cauliflower and other vegetables. And due to his upbringing of abuse, he is determined to basically never allow anyone to get very close to him emotionally. Yet along the way he does make a few close friends that I believe will be there throughout his life. Gastien is a jumble of dichotomies. He is a bit arrogant, yet naïve about his true self; mean and off-putting, yet innocent and needy; raucous and raunchy, but sweet and thoughtful; immature yet wise beyond his years. I truly enjoyed getting to know him.
It was very interesting to see him go from an abused boy, to a fearful yet brave teen, to a homeless young adult, to a brazen yet damaged man. There were parts of this story that made me very sad, a little ill, excited, happy and hopeful for his future. The timeline covers years, and you get to see how he grows and changes, blooms and withers under the circumstances he lands himself in. I loved meeting some of the other characters in his life, I felt they truly added a richness and comfort he desperately needed.
I would recommend this book to people who love historical fiction, romance or drama.
Gastien starts out as a young boy, oldest of 10 Beauchamp children who live on the family farm. He is abused by his father, both physically and verbally. Gastien dreams of becoming a professional artist, rather than taking after his father farming cauliflower and other vegetables. And due to his upbringing of abuse, he is determined to basically never allow anyone to get very close to him emotionally. Yet along the way he does make a few close friends that I believe will be there throughout his life. Gastien is a jumble of dichotomies. He is a bit arrogant, yet naïve about his true self; mean and off-putting, yet innocent and needy; raucous and raunchy, but sweet and thoughtful; immature yet wise beyond his years. I truly enjoyed getting to know him.
It was very interesting to see him go from an abused boy, to a fearful yet brave teen, to a homeless young adult, to a brazen yet damaged man. There were parts of this story that made me very sad, a little ill, excited, happy and hopeful for his future. The timeline covers years, and you get to see how he grows and changes, blooms and withers under the circumstances he lands himself in. I loved meeting some of the other characters in his life, I felt they truly added a richness and comfort he desperately needed.
I would recommend this book to people who love historical fiction, romance or drama.
March 14, 2013
Gastien (Part 1: The Cost of the Dream) is an interesting novel, a blend of history, sex and artistic dreams. It is an illustrative glimpse into a past world decorated with steamy sex and colour.
Set in 19th century France, book tells the beginning of Gastien’s story, a French peasant who wants to be an artist. It details his abusive childhood, his escape to Paris, new friendships and sexual relationships, and the suffering he endures to fulfill his aspirations.
The novel’s strength is in its main character, a well-written and relatable persona. You do feel for his trials and get a good sense of his personality when reading, as well as engage with his life. Plus, the author did an excellent job with the details of an artist’s existence in the time period and the details of painting and technique; I found them realistic. There are some nice historic particulars, too, and the sex scenes are vividly portrayed.
However, the novel does have its problems. I found the prose did get repetitive at times, the plot to be stretched a bit thin, and the story lagged in the middle of the book. Some of the characterization (other than Gastien) is a bit one-dimensional, especially with secondary characters and I found much of the dialogue peppered with too many modern phrases such as “okay” and “gig”. These words detracted from the historic feel of the book for me and I felt the characters’ speech was at odds with the setting. The author also had the occasional tendency for explanative narrative regarding Gastien’s state of mind which I found unnecessary and distracting.
Overall though, I did enjoy the book, so I give it a mild recommendation, though readers should be warned this novel is quite explicit in the portrayal of sex and abuse.
Set in 19th century France, book tells the beginning of Gastien’s story, a French peasant who wants to be an artist. It details his abusive childhood, his escape to Paris, new friendships and sexual relationships, and the suffering he endures to fulfill his aspirations.
The novel’s strength is in its main character, a well-written and relatable persona. You do feel for his trials and get a good sense of his personality when reading, as well as engage with his life. Plus, the author did an excellent job with the details of an artist’s existence in the time period and the details of painting and technique; I found them realistic. There are some nice historic particulars, too, and the sex scenes are vividly portrayed.
However, the novel does have its problems. I found the prose did get repetitive at times, the plot to be stretched a bit thin, and the story lagged in the middle of the book. Some of the characterization (other than Gastien) is a bit one-dimensional, especially with secondary characters and I found much of the dialogue peppered with too many modern phrases such as “okay” and “gig”. These words detracted from the historic feel of the book for me and I felt the characters’ speech was at odds with the setting. The author also had the occasional tendency for explanative narrative regarding Gastien’s state of mind which I found unnecessary and distracting.
Overall though, I did enjoy the book, so I give it a mild recommendation, though readers should be warned this novel is quite explicit in the portrayal of sex and abuse.
May 8, 2013
Gastien, by Caddy Rowland, is an interesting story set in an era and a nation that I haven’t read much about before. The writing style resembles that of F.Scott Fitzgerald, though it lacks his poetry and lyricism.
The positives: fully developed, relateable characters involved in a tightly written, character driven plot. One grows to sympathize with, but not pity, Gastien even as you mentally plead with him to see the dangers he courts and walk away from them.
The negatives: Rowland has a tendency to psychoanalyze her protagonist on the page instead of trusting the reader to understand what she has already clearly shown by his actions and thoughts. This aspect of the novel was an unnecessary distraction, which had the effect of pulling me out of the story.
That said, I had no trouble finishing the book. I wanted to find out what happened to Gastien. I wished him well and hoped throughout that he would realize his dream and be able to accept and handle the cost he chose to pay, as well as the unforseen costs life often surprises us with. There is darkness here, as there is in life, but essentially this story is one of triumph over adversity in the face of terrible odds
Author
Caddy Rowland lives in Minnesota with her husband, who was her high school sweetheart. They are owned by two parrots. Besides being a writer, she is an artist. One can often find her "makin' love to the color" (painting) with loud music blaring. Her goal as an author is to make readers laugh, cry, think, and become intimately connected with her main characters. She writes dramatic novels showcasing the sublime joy and bitter tragedy of being human.
The positives: fully developed, relateable characters involved in a tightly written, character driven plot. One grows to sympathize with, but not pity, Gastien even as you mentally plead with him to see the dangers he courts and walk away from them.
The negatives: Rowland has a tendency to psychoanalyze her protagonist on the page instead of trusting the reader to understand what she has already clearly shown by his actions and thoughts. This aspect of the novel was an unnecessary distraction, which had the effect of pulling me out of the story.
That said, I had no trouble finishing the book. I wanted to find out what happened to Gastien. I wished him well and hoped throughout that he would realize his dream and be able to accept and handle the cost he chose to pay, as well as the unforseen costs life often surprises us with. There is darkness here, as there is in life, but essentially this story is one of triumph over adversity in the face of terrible odds
Author
Caddy Rowland lives in Minnesota with her husband, who was her high school sweetheart. They are owned by two parrots. Besides being a writer, she is an artist. One can often find her "makin' love to the color" (painting) with loud music blaring. Her goal as an author is to make readers laugh, cry, think, and become intimately connected with her main characters. She writes dramatic novels showcasing the sublime joy and bitter tragedy of being human.
November 22, 2011
I really enjoyed the story of Gastien. I found myself looking forward to reading about him and his triumphs and tribulations. It's a well written story.
I wish there had been more details about the clothes that people wore, the foods they ate, etc. What did Gastien read? Who were his favorite authors? Dumas? Hugo? Did his mother ever make him read Plato or Shakespeare? How educated and well read is he? And who were his artistic influences? The Impressionist painters were still living at that time as was the sculptor Rodin. But none of these people are mentioned. I'm especially surprised that Monet and Manet, etc were not mentioned. An aspiring artist would surely be familiar with such people or crossed their paths even if peripherally. There was also no mention about the political climate in Paris at that time and how Gastien and his friends felt about it. How did they feel about other things that were going on in Paris or the whole nation at that time? Did influence their art at all.
One of my favorite historic romances is a book called "Skye O'Malley" because it gives so much detail that I actually felt as if I were transported back to that time period. And when I looked at pictures from that era, I knew without having to double check that the clothes were from the Elizabethan era.
I'm happy that Gastien survived the terrible situations he found himself in and look forward to reading part 2. I hope he can enjoy more good times than bad in the next installment. Well done, Caddy.
I wish there had been more details about the clothes that people wore, the foods they ate, etc. What did Gastien read? Who were his favorite authors? Dumas? Hugo? Did his mother ever make him read Plato or Shakespeare? How educated and well read is he? And who were his artistic influences? The Impressionist painters were still living at that time as was the sculptor Rodin. But none of these people are mentioned. I'm especially surprised that Monet and Manet, etc were not mentioned. An aspiring artist would surely be familiar with such people or crossed their paths even if peripherally. There was also no mention about the political climate in Paris at that time and how Gastien and his friends felt about it. How did they feel about other things that were going on in Paris or the whole nation at that time? Did influence their art at all.
One of my favorite historic romances is a book called "Skye O'Malley" because it gives so much detail that I actually felt as if I were transported back to that time period. And when I looked at pictures from that era, I knew without having to double check that the clothes were from the Elizabethan era.
I'm happy that Gastien survived the terrible situations he found himself in and look forward to reading part 2. I hope he can enjoy more good times than bad in the next installment. Well done, Caddy.
June 9, 2012
Set in France toward the end of the 19th century, we follow the hero Gastien from childhood to adulthood. The eldest son of a peasant farmer who abuses his wife and beats his children, Gastien is singled out by his father for particularly harsh treatment because he dreams of becoming a painter. However, his father's brutality only spurs the young Gastien on, he leaves home for Paris where he ends up living rough on the streets until fate takes a hand and gives him a boost. Even then, when Gastien lands a plush job working for a rich man, yet more torment awaits as he is forced into selling more than his art work.
"Gastien" is a compelling read, but be warned - it is not for the faint hearted. There are many adult themes here - from parental abuse to male rape, from starvation to masturbation - but if you are prepared for that then you wont want to put the book down. Don’t be put off by this cautionary warning, to use a cliché - this book is like a fine wine, it matures with age! The more the story progressed the more the writing flowed and I just had to know what happened next. It is a bold, daring, emotional read shot through with flashes of greatness, and for anyone who wants a truly atmospheric read that evokes a time and place in all its gritty realism, you wont want to miss this book.
Bravo Ms Rowland! When my nerves have recovered sufficiently I intend to complete the series. I was sorely torn as to whether to rate 'Gastien' a 4 or 5 - and award it a very honourable 4.5!
"Gastien" is a compelling read, but be warned - it is not for the faint hearted. There are many adult themes here - from parental abuse to male rape, from starvation to masturbation - but if you are prepared for that then you wont want to put the book down. Don’t be put off by this cautionary warning, to use a cliché - this book is like a fine wine, it matures with age! The more the story progressed the more the writing flowed and I just had to know what happened next. It is a bold, daring, emotional read shot through with flashes of greatness, and for anyone who wants a truly atmospheric read that evokes a time and place in all its gritty realism, you wont want to miss this book.
Bravo Ms Rowland! When my nerves have recovered sufficiently I intend to complete the series. I was sorely torn as to whether to rate 'Gastien' a 4 or 5 - and award it a very honourable 4.5!
September 12, 2016
Gastien...It's your choice...
The Cost of the Dream is the life story of a would be painter, Gastien, from boyhood to early adulthood. Ms. Rowland presents a detailed story of one boy's dream, the choices he is presented with and how the decisions he makes lead him from the peasant farming village of his parents to the Montmartre. Her descriptions of what it might have meant to be a poor artist in Paris in the late 19th century were gripping.
In her story she shows her readers multiple aspects of life, love, art and sexuality. She hints that life is what you make of it and that we are all presented with choices everyday. The important thing may be that no matter how black and white we think the answers are, the choices are still ours to make and the decisions we make are still what steers the course of our lives. There are no black and white outcomes, only varying shades of grey. I enjoyed the highs and lows in Gastien's story tremendously.
Caddy Rowland also taught me one thing about writing a story where the characters are obviously not thinking or talking in English. I generally don't care about using translated words or phases in foreign novels that are assumed to be spoken totally in another language. In this case, the use of a few French words and phrases softens what may otherwise be harsh or guttural.
If you enjoy historical fiction and family drama, or stories set in a Paris of the 1800's, I recommend this one. In my opinion it stands alone solidly, but creates a doorway into the rest of the Gastien series, as well.
The Cost of the Dream is the life story of a would be painter, Gastien, from boyhood to early adulthood. Ms. Rowland presents a detailed story of one boy's dream, the choices he is presented with and how the decisions he makes lead him from the peasant farming village of his parents to the Montmartre. Her descriptions of what it might have meant to be a poor artist in Paris in the late 19th century were gripping.
In her story she shows her readers multiple aspects of life, love, art and sexuality. She hints that life is what you make of it and that we are all presented with choices everyday. The important thing may be that no matter how black and white we think the answers are, the choices are still ours to make and the decisions we make are still what steers the course of our lives. There are no black and white outcomes, only varying shades of grey. I enjoyed the highs and lows in Gastien's story tremendously.
Caddy Rowland also taught me one thing about writing a story where the characters are obviously not thinking or talking in English. I generally don't care about using translated words or phases in foreign novels that are assumed to be spoken totally in another language. In this case, the use of a few French words and phrases softens what may otherwise be harsh or guttural.
If you enjoy historical fiction and family drama, or stories set in a Paris of the 1800's, I recommend this one. In my opinion it stands alone solidly, but creates a doorway into the rest of the Gastien series, as well.
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