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To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop
Are you a shopaholic?
Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues?
Do you often buy things that you don’t need or can’t afford?
Do your buying binges leave you feeling anxious or guilty?
Is your shopping behavior hurting your relationships?
Have you tried to stop but been unable to?
If so, you are not alone. Nearly 18 million Americans are problem shoppers, unable to break the buying habits that lead them into debt, damaged relationships, and depression. If this describes you, or someone you care about, the help you need is here.
Drawing on recent research and on decades of working with overshoppers, Dr. April Benson brings together key insights with practical strategies in a powerful program to help you stop overshopping. As you progress through this book, you’ll take back control of your shopping and spending and create a richer, more meaningful and satisfying life.
Kindle Edition
First published December 30, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
June 3, 2011
This book, one of the only that I could find on the subject, does a really good job of looking at and helping the reader control overshopping through a cognitive behavioral therapy approach. I think this book is more relevant to everyone than other reviewers have suggested, especially in today's mass-consumption culture. I particularly enjoyed the discussion of triggers and outcomes that were very close to what I have felt on occasion.
February 27, 2014
I read this book to better understand people's issues with shopping and how they can deal with their problems. The book is only for people who have that type of problem - there are lots of exercises and ways to get your shopping issues under control. I think it could help people to even admit they have a problem. If you are looking for a sociological in-depth analysis of why people end up with these issues, this is not the book for you. I feel better equipped now to deal with someone I know who clearly has this issue and I think this book will be useful for them. If you know any over shoppers, if they will listen to you, this book could be extremely useful for them. At least help them get started with change.
January 10, 2019
I am not a shopping addict, but i witness a lot of shopping addicts in my job and around my workplace (in the retail business) so I was interested to read more about the subject and the psychology behind it. Many of the behaviours mentioned in the book are exactly like so many of our customers.
I am also really into shopping mindfully so I did connect with a lot of the points in this book. This book was really a gem and it had some great tips. Many tips can also be applied to other addictive behaviours like food, alcohol, etc. It is an interesting read since North American culture is so consumerist.
I am also really into shopping mindfully so I did connect with a lot of the points in this book. This book was really a gem and it had some great tips. Many tips can also be applied to other addictive behaviours like food, alcohol, etc. It is an interesting read since North American culture is so consumerist.
August 20, 2021
One of best books I have read on over shopping , brilliant exercises and tips on why some people over shop and how to stop. Will be using some of the exercises myself definitely recommend this one
April 26, 2024
Do you have a shopping addiction? Are you in so much debt that you’re worried about not being able to retire? Do feelings of shame and self hatred burden your day-to-day life as you think about your addiction? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this book is for you. But is it useful? I’d say it marginally is. It is definitely eye opening, especially when it discusses how the advertising industry exists to rob of your money or how the credit industry works to keep you in debt and a slave to the banks until you die. The author of course, does not name capitalism as the culprit behind those things, but it is understandable that the author would want to avoid controversy especially regarding a self help book. The advice the book gives is useful. Tracking your spending and cutting down as much as possible to pay off debt is essential to surviving a shopping addiction but as with every other addiction, you have to want to stop. And not just “want” to stop but deeply want it. Because in the bottom of the pit, you feel alone and with nothing except your addiction to keep you going. You have to cast it aside and climb out of the pit, all by yourself. No book can do that for you and this book is no exception. So as a self help book, To Buy or Not to Buy is useful for those who already recognize their issue and have taken steps towards escaping from the pit. For all others still in the downward spiral, this book is of no help. The advice given regarding appreciating experiences rather than things is valid. I would also suggest another solution. Instead of shopping for objects, shop for books. However, rather than paying for the books, you can get them for free at the library. This essentially allows you to experience the thrill of the hunt for a new object as well as the satisfaction from it without spending a dime. As a bonus, you get to support your local community and increase your knowledge. This obviously requires you to like reading but you wouldn’t be on here if you didn’t, right ? Note that this book is outdated. Modern advertising has gotten way worse than what the book describes, with paid sponsorships on every Instagram post, influencers galore trying to sell you something, and the triumphant victory of online shopping as the almighty way to shop. These new developments make some the advice given in the book a bit useless, such as avoiding advertising (how can you avoid something that is so ubiquitous unless you cut yourself off from the internet?). Also, the author continuously uses feminine pronouns to discuss people with shopping addictions in hypotheticals, rather than using gender neutral pronouns. This is especially strange since the author herself acknowledged that men tend to overshop just as much as women, only they shop for different things. It just felt weirdly targeted towards women, but I guess the book is a product of its time. I definitely don’t miss the 2000s. Read this if you want to feel less lonely after realizing that you have a shopping addiction and need to get over it. Final rating: 3/5.
April 29, 2019
I had never heard of April Lane Benson, PhD, or her work with counseling people in the area of compulsive buying disorder. It is a growing behavioral concern in America. The problem is not actually the act of over shopping or over spending; the problem is the emptiness or void that underlies a person’s shopping addiction causing them to fill it with shopping and spending.
Dr. Benson suggests that people who have a shopping addiction have more shame and embarrassment over it than people who have an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
The sheer amount of research that Dr. Benson did to write this book is mind-blowing. I will tell you what it is not and then what it is. It is not a quick read. It is not a book of statistics or a big-picture view of greed in America or credit card debt or trends in spending. It IS more of a workbook from the standpoint of psychotherapy to get us to ask why we are shopping, what is our motivation behind it, what are we really shopping for, and how much is enough.
The chapters take you through different steps to journal what you are feeling before and after a purchase, how to plan your purchases, how to think rationally and not emotionally while buying, how to practice self-care, how to meditate, how to figure out what your shopping triggers are, how to recover from and prevent shopping binges, and how to replace shopping and spending with other more meaningful practices and behaviors.
Sometimes the homework and assignments she lists are very tedious and tend to get bogged down. The chapters grind to a merciless halt as Benson delves into meticulous detail about a specific point or gives an illustration of a fictional person who journals and the details of what she writes. All that detail isn’t necessary. The chapters and subject matter would flow more gracefully if some of the assignments were shortened and things moved along on a more even keel.
I think this book needed to be written because there are few others like it that address the specifics of overcoming a shopping and spending addiction. I like the extra resources in the back of the book with video and book suggestions, as well as websites and other resource material. All in all, it is an enlightening and helpful book.
If you give yourself permission to skip over the tedious parts, you will grow in understanding of what a shopping/spending disorder is and how and why it manifests itself in someone’s life. Now that I am equipped with this knowledge, I can look back at people in my life that I have known and can now identify compulsive spending patterns in their behavior. I also have much more compassion for those who struggle with this issue and would not wish it on anyone. I hope that by reading this book, more people will become aware of shopping and spending disorders and how, like anything else, it can play a role in your own life or a close friend’s.
Dr. Benson suggests that people who have a shopping addiction have more shame and embarrassment over it than people who have an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
The sheer amount of research that Dr. Benson did to write this book is mind-blowing. I will tell you what it is not and then what it is. It is not a quick read. It is not a book of statistics or a big-picture view of greed in America or credit card debt or trends in spending. It IS more of a workbook from the standpoint of psychotherapy to get us to ask why we are shopping, what is our motivation behind it, what are we really shopping for, and how much is enough.
The chapters take you through different steps to journal what you are feeling before and after a purchase, how to plan your purchases, how to think rationally and not emotionally while buying, how to practice self-care, how to meditate, how to figure out what your shopping triggers are, how to recover from and prevent shopping binges, and how to replace shopping and spending with other more meaningful practices and behaviors.
Sometimes the homework and assignments she lists are very tedious and tend to get bogged down. The chapters grind to a merciless halt as Benson delves into meticulous detail about a specific point or gives an illustration of a fictional person who journals and the details of what she writes. All that detail isn’t necessary. The chapters and subject matter would flow more gracefully if some of the assignments were shortened and things moved along on a more even keel.
I think this book needed to be written because there are few others like it that address the specifics of overcoming a shopping and spending addiction. I like the extra resources in the back of the book with video and book suggestions, as well as websites and other resource material. All in all, it is an enlightening and helpful book.
If you give yourself permission to skip over the tedious parts, you will grow in understanding of what a shopping/spending disorder is and how and why it manifests itself in someone’s life. Now that I am equipped with this knowledge, I can look back at people in my life that I have known and can now identify compulsive spending patterns in their behavior. I also have much more compassion for those who struggle with this issue and would not wish it on anyone. I hope that by reading this book, more people will become aware of shopping and spending disorders and how, like anything else, it can play a role in your own life or a close friend’s.
September 3, 2015
Although this book was, at times, a pain in the ass (lots of journaling and reflecting) I absolutely loved it and I'm not sure it would have been as effective if it did not prompt the reader to put lots of effort into it. There were many new concepts explored, new and different tools, and great new perspectives. I know recovering from compulsive shopping is a long journey, but I have seen MAJOR improvements in the time that I have been reading this book. I definitely recommend reading if you're serious about recovering.
November 21, 2017
This book would make a good infographic. Allocating it any more space than that it’s laughable and would be a waste of bandwidth and/or paper.
While the book is not totally devoid of value, leaning on CBT practices and more know works ... it’s just so poorly written. If you’re unemployed 50k deep in CC debt...as are the heroes of some of the anecdotes... I doubt that breathing exercise will be the solution to your self worth issues.
While the book is not totally devoid of value, leaning on CBT practices and more know works ... it’s just so poorly written. If you’re unemployed 50k deep in CC debt...as are the heroes of some of the anecdotes... I doubt that breathing exercise will be the solution to your self worth issues.
December 6, 2019
the repetitiveness of the book was one thing but the author trying to sell shopaholics something through this book is just unbelievable.
February 29, 2020
Excellent. Keeping this as a reference.
March 22, 2021
I found this thought provoking at I am interested in addictive behaviour and the processes that drive it - particularly the kinds that are largely sanctioned, 'smiled apon' addictions like shopping. Retail is seen as therapy where dreams are for sale, where you are sold the context that surrounds the content.
It is structured as more of a practical toolkit rather than a distanced analysis however it is also written in an academic yet accessible style. There are lots of interesting insights into the emotional processes behind why we shop and the mechanics that make it difficult to stop despite fulfilling all material needs.
It asks the reader many difficult questions about identity and inner fulfilment. Do you shop to self soothe and block out pain? To boost low self esteem? To avoid something or reward yourself? Is there a discrepancy between the way you see yourself and the way you'd like to be? It feels thorough and uncomfortable - a useful exploration for anyone who sees their consumption habits as even slightly problematic.
It is structured as more of a practical toolkit rather than a distanced analysis however it is also written in an academic yet accessible style. There are lots of interesting insights into the emotional processes behind why we shop and the mechanics that make it difficult to stop despite fulfilling all material needs.
It asks the reader many difficult questions about identity and inner fulfilment. Do you shop to self soothe and block out pain? To boost low self esteem? To avoid something or reward yourself? Is there a discrepancy between the way you see yourself and the way you'd like to be? It feels thorough and uncomfortable - a useful exploration for anyone who sees their consumption habits as even slightly problematic.
March 20, 2023
This book addresses people with severe shopping addiction, and I think it has a lot of helpful advice and reasons why people can have them. I do think I have a shopping 'problem' that needs to be addressed, but I kind of felt like this book didn't exactly address my level of addiction or any of the reasons why I do it. I felt like I wasn't quite able to get the answers I was looking for in this book. However, I definitely don't regret reading it as I've learned a lot of helpful things such as how to track your spending, and I've looked at my own shopping in a different light thanks to this book. I'd recommend it if you're dealing with any kind of problem buying things you don't need, with money you don't have, etc. I'm confident everyone will gain at least some knowledge they didn't know before that is helpful on their journey to having more control.
August 4, 2017
If you're already familiar with cognitive therapy, the second half will be a lot of refresher. Otherwise, before the last half I'd already implemented what was in here and more that I extrapolated from it. Now, I have a working savings plan and have implemented more responsible spending. I've also learned to plan, and wait, for things I want and focus more on memory-making things that really matter, ultimately.
This is more than a workbook for spending. It gets to the root of WHY you do it - childhood events, neglect, insecurity, and so on. Then it helps you reason with that training and the reactions to it.
This is more than a workbook for spending. It gets to the root of WHY you do it - childhood events, neglect, insecurity, and so on. Then it helps you reason with that training and the reactions to it.
December 9, 2021
To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop by April Lane Benson is a critical tool for anyone suffering from spendaholism (compulsive buying, compulsive shopping disorder, overspending, overshopping, shopaholism). Dr. Benson, who passed away 3/29/2021, was an internationally recognized pioneer coordinating research into and treatment of overshopping, partially inspired by her own struggles with overspending. To Buy or Not to Buy offers a comprehensive program to allow readers to identify their impulses and develop tools for avoiding and controlling their actions.
Lauren Williams, Owner, Casual Uncluttering LLC, Woodinville, WA USA
Lauren Williams, Owner, Casual Uncluttering LLC, Woodinville, WA USA
January 8, 2018
Not the book I thought it would be. I thought it would be more about how businesses manipulate us through our psychology to increase sales, and it’s that too, but it’s really written for clinical-level shopping problems or if shopping is negatively impacting your life in some way. But there were still some very thought-provoking discussions and exercises, and I bet this would be an excellent book for someone seriously struggling with overshopping.
March 16, 2017
If you love shopping, a little too much, then i definitely recommend this book. Reading this book and doing the exercise activities really helps educate us that shopping is not always the answer. April Benson wrote this book in such a way that is easy to relate too and helps you find out if you truly are a shopaholic.
May 28, 2025
I really enjoyed this book. It was a workbook within this self help guide to avoid overshopping tendencies. It’s definitely very outdated now, but is still incredibly relevant if you can mentally transition many of the examples to modern ones. I’ve learned so much and plan on utilizing the tools I’ve learned every day.
September 19, 2023
I thought this book was excellent, and would recommend it to anyone struggling with compulsive spending, or really any other compulsive/addictive behaviour, since the exercises and teachings are so cross-applicable. Potentially best worked through with the support of a therapist?
March 6, 2018
This book helped me realize that I do not have a shopping addiction.
October 16, 2018
This book has journaling exercises in literally every other page. If you hate journaling like me, you won't get much out of this book.
February 15, 2019
This eye-opening guide uncovers the various types of overshopping and the emotional patterns that drive us to buy. Anyone could benefit from reading this.
August 5, 2019
Great read
This book is a great read with terrific resources, but I was very lost when it came to the math.
This book is a great read with terrific resources, but I was very lost when it came to the math.
September 4, 2019
Amazing book! Really helped me to rediscover myself and.. change. Recommend for everyone who is struggling with compulsive shopping.
October 4, 2020
Every American should read this book!!!
Read
April 16, 2021This book helped me with my shopping addiction. I followed the advice and found it really useful
May 20, 2021
Very comprehensive. Lots of strategies to help the overshopper take control.
March 4, 2025
A fabulous book if you want to trim your spending!
March 17, 2017
This is a very well written book and an interesting, fun read about overshopping, the reasons behind it, and the actions that one must take to resist and let go of this constant urge. I recommend it especially for compulsive shoppers, but also for anyone, like myself, who is intrigued by this topic. This book leads you to discover a richer and more fulfilling life, and that overshopping just gives a temporary satisfaction and does not solve your problems. This book will definitely not bore you and instead allows you to want to read more and continue, as it absorbs the reader in with a thoughtful but also a humorous style.
February 2, 2015
This book took me a while to read. It's a simple enough book and like some, not full of jargon and psycho-babble but it doesn't hook you in enough to be one you can't put down. I often put it to one side to go read something else.
I saw a review that said it was only for people with addictions to shopping and wouldn't suit anyone else. Well, first the book is aimed solely at over-shoppers so that makes sense to me that it would only be suitable for those people (me formerly included). However for me I think the content would also be suitable for over-eaters and maybe other addictions as well. Not the whole book but you can fit it in to other issues. There are plenty of sections about re-building confidence, mindfulness (more on that in a second) and discovering just why you do the thing you do whether that is buying too much, eating too much, drinking too much..
There are exercises to do and a shopping journal to keep helping you track how you are spending money and hopefully start spotting patterns of behaviour. My favourite one is an exercise to find out your 5 biggest strengths and then use them in some way more positive than overspending. Examples used include a woman whose strength was creativity and joined some pottery classes. She then channelled her energies into making gifts. Other strengths may not be so obvious but it does give you some things to think about.
The bit that I found niggling was the chapter on mindfulness. I have no problem with it and have tried it myself. However it's starting to feel like the therapy du-jour and like every self help book has it tacked on in an effort to cash in. It's just not original anymore to see it in a book and I'd like to see a bit more variety.
Overall I enjoyed this book. It’s not the best self help book I've read but it does provide some interesting insights into people's behaviour and I, for one, learnt a few things about mine.
I saw a review that said it was only for people with addictions to shopping and wouldn't suit anyone else. Well, first the book is aimed solely at over-shoppers so that makes sense to me that it would only be suitable for those people (me formerly included). However for me I think the content would also be suitable for over-eaters and maybe other addictions as well. Not the whole book but you can fit it in to other issues. There are plenty of sections about re-building confidence, mindfulness (more on that in a second) and discovering just why you do the thing you do whether that is buying too much, eating too much, drinking too much..
There are exercises to do and a shopping journal to keep helping you track how you are spending money and hopefully start spotting patterns of behaviour. My favourite one is an exercise to find out your 5 biggest strengths and then use them in some way more positive than overspending. Examples used include a woman whose strength was creativity and joined some pottery classes. She then channelled her energies into making gifts. Other strengths may not be so obvious but it does give you some things to think about.
The bit that I found niggling was the chapter on mindfulness. I have no problem with it and have tried it myself. However it's starting to feel like the therapy du-jour and like every self help book has it tacked on in an effort to cash in. It's just not original anymore to see it in a book and I'd like to see a bit more variety.
Overall I enjoyed this book. It’s not the best self help book I've read but it does provide some interesting insights into people's behaviour and I, for one, learnt a few things about mine.
August 19, 2014
Somehow I received the impression that this book was going to be more of a study on the societal pressure to shop, and not so much a self-help book... I feel that I can't give a proper review, as I am not the target audience for the book.
Because I am not an overshopper, it was hard to hold my interest in the book, although it seemed to be well-laid out and a basic, step-by-step guide to analyzing one's one tendencies to spend more money than one should.
I was interested in the stories of specific overshoppers and the mindset that caused them to overshop; they gave a good look into the reason that the book was written.
I received this book for free through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.
Because I am not an overshopper, it was hard to hold my interest in the book, although it seemed to be well-laid out and a basic, step-by-step guide to analyzing one's one tendencies to spend more money than one should.
I was interested in the stories of specific overshoppers and the mindset that caused them to overshop; they gave a good look into the reason that the book was written.
I received this book for free through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews