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Paperback
First published January 1, 2003



“The people here are gripped by a powerful illusion, the whole middle class dream. It's all they live for – liberal education, civic responsibility, respect for the law. They may think they're free, but they're trapped and impoverished...They police themselves, not with guns and gulags, but with social codes.”
“This is Kropotkin with pink gins and wall-to-wall Axminster. These people want to change the world, use violence if they need to, but they've never had the central heating turned off in their lives...The middle classes have moved from charity work and civil responsibility to fantasies of cataclysmic change. Whisky sours and Armageddon...”
“We're all locked into huge mortgages. People have sky-high school fees, and the banks breathing down their necks. Besides, where do we move to? Darkest Surrey? Some two-hour commute to Reading or Guildford?”
“People are resigning from well-paid jobs, refusing to pay their taxes, taking their children out of private schools.”
“Cabinet ministers were now well aware that if the middle class withdrew their goodwill, society would collapse.”
“You've obviously got a feel for the subversive...Social unrest always throws up a few really dangerous types. People who use extreme violence to explore themselves, like some people use extreme sex...An inexplicable act of violence had a fierce authenticity that no reasoned behaviour could match...Inexplicable and senseless protests were the only way to hold the public's attention.”
"I sensed a short of primitive religion was being born, a faith in search of a god to worship. Congregations roamed the streets, hungry for a charismatic figure who would emerge sooner or later from the wilderness of a suburban shopping mall and scent a promising wind of passion and credulity."
"Hollywood flicks are fun, if your idea of a good time is a hamburger and a milk shake. America invented the movies so it would never have to grow up. We have angst, depression and middle-aged regret. They have Hollywood."
"Today's tourist goes nowhere... All the upgrades in existence lead to the same airports and resort hotels, the same pina colada bullshit. The tourists smile at their tans and their shiny teeth and think they're happy. But the suntans hide who they really are---salary slaves, with heads full of American rubbish. Travel is the last fantasy of the 20th Century left us, the delusion that going somewhere helps you reinvent yourself."
"Believe me, the next revolution is going to be about parking."
"These people want to change the world, use violence if they need to, but they've never had the central heating turned off in their lives."
"As always, a perverse calculus refreshed and redefined the world."
"First wives are a rite of passage into adult life. In many ways it's important that first marriages go wrong. That's how we learn the truth about ourselves."
"We're living in a soft-regime prison built by earlier generations of inmates."
“Air travel – the whole Heathrow thing – it’s a collective flight from reality”.
“.... an Arts degree is like a diploma in origami”.
“When Armageddon takes place, parking is going to be a major problem”.
“Nothing brings out violence more than a peaceful demonstration”. (an aphorism for the voyeur?)
“An actress deprived of her audience”. (instant picture)
“Twickenham as the Heart of the Darkness – tennis clubs, bank managers and the Mecca of English rugby”. (true dat)
“Chelsea’s Marina as the middle class sink estate. We’re the underclass of the bourgeoisie”. (risible)
“You’re just a prole in a three-buttoned suit. And we don’t like ourselves for it”.
“The dealing rooms were a con, and only the river was real. The money was all on tick, a stream of coded voltages sluicing through concealed conduits under the foreign exchange floors. Facing them across the river were two more fakes, the replica of Shakespeare’s Globe, and an old power station made over into a middle class disco – Tate Modern”.
“No middle class revolution can defend the barricades without a shower and a large cappuccino. You might as well fight them in yesterday’s underwear”.
“To keep the world sane we depend on motive, we rely on cause and effect. Kick those props away and we see that the meaningless act is the only one that has any meaning.
“’Luxury Rent Rebel Surrender’
‘Posh People’s Scorched Earth Policy’
‘Win a House in Chelsea Marina’
But we had not surrendered. The exodus had been a tactical retreat, a principled refusal to accept the rule of police and bailiffs. Rather than submit to the patronising do-goodery of social-workers and psychologists like Henry and myself, the residents had decided to leave with their heads held high and integrity intact. The revolution would continue on a date to be agreed, seeing itself in a hundred other middle class estates across the land, in Tudorbethan semis and mock-Georgian villas. Wherever there was a private school or a snow-white lavatory bowl, a Gilbert and Sullivan performance or a well-loved old Bentley, the spectre of Kay Churchill would lighten the darkness, hope springing from her raised middle finger.”