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72 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 1939
Not before him above all, not before him, later, when he will not be there, but not now. It would be too dangerous, too indecorous to talk about that before him.
She kept her ears open, intervened so he would not hear, kept on talking herself, tried to divert his attention: “The depression… and this increasing unemployment. Of course, to him that was clear, he being so conversant with these matters… But she didn’t know… However, she had been told… But he was right, when you thought about it, everything became so obvious, so simple… It was curious, heartbreaking to see the naïveté of so many worthy people.” Everything went well. He seemed pleased. Drinking his tea the while, he was explaining things in that indulgent way of his, quite sure of himself, and from time to time, wrinkling his cheek and pressing his tongue against his back teeth to dislodge a bit of food stuck in them, he would make a peculiar noise, a sort of whistle which, with him, always had a little satisfied, carefree note.
In the most secret recesses, among the treasures that were the best hidden, she rummaged about with her avid fingers. Everything “intellectual.” She had to have it. For her. For her, because she knew now the real value of things. She had to have what was intellectual.
There were a great many like her, hungry, pitiless parasites, leeches, firmly settled on the articles that appeared, slugs stuck everywhere, spreading their mucus on corners of Rimbaud, sucking on Mallarmé, lending one another Ulysses or the Notebook of Malte Laurids Brigge, which they slimed with their low understanding.


Now they were old, they were quite worn out, “like old furniture that has seen long usage, that had served its time and accomplished its task”, and sometimes (this was coyness on their part) they heaved a sort of short sigh, filled with resignation and relief, that was like something crackling.
On soft spring evenings, they went walking together, “now that youth was finished, now that the passions were spent”, they went walking quietly, “to take a breath of fresh air before going to bed”, sit down in a café, spend a few moments chatting.
They chose a well-protected corner, taking many precautions (“not here, it’s in a draught, nor there, it’s just beside the lavatory”), they sat down – “Ah! These old bones, we’re getting old. Ah! Ah!”- and they let their cracking be heard.
The place had a cold, dingy glitter, the waiters ran about too fast in a rough, indifferent manner, the mirrors gave back harsh reflections of tired faces and blinking eyes.
But they asked for nothing more, this was it, they knew it well, you shouldn’t expect anything, you shouldn’t demand anything, that’s how it was, there was nothing more this was it, ‘life’.
Nothing else, nothing more, here or there, now they knew it.
You should not rebel, dream, hope, make an effort, flee, you had only to choose carefully (the waiter was waiting) whether it was to be a grenadine or a coffee? With milk or black? While accepting unassumingly to live – here or there – and let time go by.



Sometimes, when they were not looking at him, to try and find something that was warm and living around him, he would run his hand very gently along one of the columns of the sideboard . . . they would not see him, or perhaps they would think that he was merely "touching wood" for luck, a very widespread custom, and after all, a harmless one.
When he sensed that they were watching him from behind, like the villain in the movies who, feeling the eyes of the policeman on his back, concludes his gesture nonchalantly, gives it the appearance of being offhand and naive, to calm their apprehension he would drum with three fingers of this right hand, three times three, which is the really effectual lucky gesture. For they were watching him more closely since he had been caught in his room, reading the Bible.
In the afternoon they went out together, led the life that women lead. And what an extraordinary life it was! They went to "tearooms," ate cakes, which they picked out daintily, in a slightly greedy manner: chocolate elcairs, "babas," and tarts.
All about them was a chirping aviary, warm and gaily lighted and decorated. They remained there, seated, pressed closed together around their little tables, talking.
When he was with fresh, young creatures, innocent creatures, he felt an aching, irresistible need to manipulate them with his uneasy fingers, to feel them, to bring them as close to himself as possible, to appropriate them for himself.
In her black alpaca apron, with her cross pinned every week on her chest, she was an extremely "easy" little girl, a very docile, very good child: "Is this for children, Madam? she would ask the stationery woman, if she was not sure, when buying a comic paper or a book.
(and then it skips to) Now she was grown, little fish grow big, yes, indeed! time passes fast, oh! it's once you're past twenty that the years begin to fly by, faster and faster, isn't that so? They think that too? And she stood there before them in her black ensemble, which goes with everything, and besides, black always looks well doesn't it? . . . she remained seated, her hands folded over her matching handbag, smiling, nodding her head sympathetically, of course she had heard, she knew that their grandmother's death had been a lingering one, it was because she had been so strong, they weren't like us, at her age, imagine, she still had all her teeth . . . And Madeline? Her husband . . . Ah! men, if they could give birth to children -
slip through us on the frontiers of consciousness in the form of undefinable, extremely rapid sensations. They hide behind our gestures, beneath the words we speak, the feelings we manifest, are aware of experiencing, and able to define. They seemed, and still seem to me to constitute the secret source of our existence, in what might be called its nascent state.Sarraute presents different “tropisms” in 24 vignettes with the precision and style that had an almost hypnotic effect. I find it impossible to explain what drew me to them, some more than others, but overall all with a lingering effect well past finishing the book (I can see that it can work variably on each reader though).